Hour 2: Something About These 'Mc' Coaches (feat. Amin Elhassan)

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Episode: Hour 2: Something About These 'Mc' Coaches (feat. Amin Elhassan)
Release Date: August 13, 2025

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1. Weekend Sports Recap

The episode kicks off with Amin Elhassan introducing the segment on weekend sports highlights. Stugotz enthusiastically reminisces about the return of Las Vegas' Las Rosas, highlighting Jador Sanders' impressive performance with "two touchdowns in the first half" (02:04). The hosts celebrate the resurgence of NFL action, emphasizing the excitement it brings to fans nationwide.

Notable Quote:
Stugotz: "Just like that, make no mistake, Las Rosas is back." (01:19)

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2. Embarrassing Purchases at CVS

A humorous segment ensues where Stugotz, Mike Ryan, and Greg Cote discuss the most embarrassing items they’ve bought at CVS. The conversation touches on products like tampons, personal lubricants, and last-minute Christmas gifts, highlighting the awkwardness of certain purchases.

Notable Quote:
Stugotz: "Why would you just go to a sex store? Go to Sex Supermart with your son. Buy him there like a normal person." (06:18)

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3. NFL Ownership and Ethics

The conversation delves into the complexities of NFL team ownership, focusing on figures like Mark Cuban and Jeanie Buss. Amin Elhassan and Stugotz debate the influence former owners wield post-sale, questioning the retention of power and decision-making roles within the teams.

Notable Quote:
Stugotz: "These people don't spend this money to not control the team." (15:25)

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4. Michael Porter Jr. Controversy

A heated discussion arises around Michael Porter Jr.’s recent interview on "One Night with Steiny," where controversial statements about gambling surfaced. The hosts express concern over Porter Jr.'s remarks, linking them to his brother's legal troubles and questioning the ethical implications.

Notable Quote:
Tony Grossi: "If you could get all your homies rich by telling him, yo, no $10,000 on my under." (18:59)

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5. NBA vs. NFL Schedule Release

Stugotz and Mike Ryan compare the anticipation and structure surrounding NBA and NFL schedule releases. They critique the NBA's approach, suggesting it lacks the cultural significance and excitement that the NFL schedule garners, ultimately questioning the necessity of early schedule announcements.

Notable Quote:
Stugotz: "The NFL culture. And so they've made a big deal out of it." (23:33)

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6. Hard Knocks Commentary and Critique

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to analyzing the latest season of "Hard Knocks." The hosts express mixed feelings, praising certain aspects like memorable introductions but criticizing others for perceived quality dips. They share personal anecdotes and preferences, emphasizing how "Hard Knocks" influences their fandom.

Notable Quote:
Stugotz: "Hard Knocks, like, oh, that's the Terminator." (39:04)

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7. Parenting and Teen Challenges

Amin Elhassan opens up about personal struggles with parenting a moody teenager, discussing strategies like setting limits on phone usage and emphasizing responsibility through financial contributions. The hosts offer relatable advice, blending humor with genuine concern.

Notable Quote:
Stugotz: "Fix your face. You know what? Just fix your face." (26:30)

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8. Coaching Critique: 'Mc' Coaches

The focal point of the episode is a critique of NFL coaches with "Mc" surnames, particularly spotlighting Mike McDaniel. The hosts argue that such coaches are underperforming, suggesting they're on the "hot seat" due to lackluster results and poor decision-making.

Notable Quote:
Dan LeBatard: "Something about these 'Mc' coaches, huh? Has ever been a good... Mike McDaniel." (35:22)

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9. Movie of the Week: Jurassic Park 3

Concluding the episode, Stugotz introduces the "Movie of the Week" segment focusing on "Jurassic Park 3." The discussion highlights the film's reception, notable absence of original cast members like Jeff Goldblum, and its attempt to expand the franchise with new dinosaur threats.

Notable Quote:
Dan LeBatard: "We're gonna need a bigger boat." (41:29)

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Conclusion

This episode of The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz offers a blend of sports analysis, pop culture commentary, and personal anecdotes. From dissecting NFL coaching performances to reviewing classic films, the hosts provide engaging content that resonates with both avid sports fans and casual listeners.

Note: Timestamps are provided alongside notable quotes for reference.

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<a id="timestamp"></a>Timestamp Reference:
All timestamps correspond to moments within the provided transcript.

Transcript

[Dan LeBatard]

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[Stugotz]

This is the Dan Levatar show with the Stugats podcast.

[Amin Elhassan]

It is time for to share his game notes.

[Stugotz]

No one in the media will tell you what happened better than my boy. I mean. Weekend observations presented by Miller Light. Then, after what felt like an eternity of waiting, a lifetime of nothingness, a vast gaping hole in all our lives, Friday night came and salvation arrived. And people rejoiced. Not just in Miami, but all over the country and indeed the world. And just like that, make no mistake, Las Rosas is back.

[Greg Cote]

Yeah.

[Stugotz]

Yeah. And also. Also NFL football. You guys know what the L in NFL football stands for? What? Las Rosas. Jador Sanders forced into a starting role due to injuries scintillating two touchdowns in the first half. You guys know what else the L in NFL football stands for? Looks like the real deal. Afterwards, Jador confronts longtime Browns beat reporter Tony Grossi in the tunnel. Do you guys know what else the L in NFL football stands for? Long time and also legendary Tony Grossi did on ESPN Cleveland. He told Shador this was a big night for you. You guys know what else the L in NFL football stands for? Let's not get carried away. The preseason game. What are we doing? The big night. Come on now. Asia Wilson dropping the WNBA's first 3020 game goat. Diana Taurasi dropping more F bombs in her documentary than points scored in a career. My goat Shohei Ohtani hit with a 240 million dollar lawsuit on Friday, then hit three homers on the next three days. You know what that's called? Silencing the critics. Believing that Mike McDaniel could break up an actual NFL fight is like clicking on the Jerkmate logo and believing you're about to watch Stranger Things. What happened there? You guys know about this jerk?

[Amin Elhassan]

Mate, I hate clicking on it by accident.

[Stugotz]

I know. Thought I was gonna see Stranger Things. I saw stranger things though. Buying your doughs from cvs. Dangerous Game Top five most embarrassing things to buy from cvs. Oli tampons. I know it's normal. Everyone goes. But it's just like something weird about me going to the counter with tampons. I don't know.

[Mike Ryan]

Hack is period.

[Stugotz]

Oh, a lie. Exactly. You get attache Oli condoms. I always keep waiting for the cashier to say congratulations on the sex. Oli hard liquor. I get my Miller Light from a cvs. No problem. I get hard liquor. I feel like it. Seems like I have a problem.

[Amin Elhassan]

Doesn't have a liquor license.

[Mike Ryan]

Couldn't agree more with you. Amin strong.

[Stugotz]

Hell, it doesn't. The hell it doesn't. Zaz. See you have a bit to the right. Cvs. Speaking of hell. Not yet.

[Chris Cody]

Later on.

[Mike Ryan]

Sorry.

[Stugotz]

All right. Number five. Depends. It just means you shit yourself. Right? Number four, Supplements. You know the kind I'm talking about. Number three, Personal lubricant. Number two, Christmas gifts. It's just. It's a. It's an admission I'm a piece of. Who forgot.

[Mike Ryan]

No, it's a good stocking stuffer place. Get a lot of stocking stuffers at cvs.

[Stugotz]

No, you go Christmas shopping at cvs. It's. I'm a piece of. Have forgotten. I gotta get this gift in right now.

[Chris Cody]

And you also have the hard liquor. Your cabin. You're like, oh, this guy's.

[Stugotz]

And the l. This guy's a piece of the tampons. What's happening here? And number one, those. Why would you. Why would you just go to a sex store? Go to Sex Supermart with your son. Buy him there like a normal person. You ever the Jets?

[Mike Ryan]

You ever buy the Father's Day card on Father. Like the morning of Father's Day every year. It's like this. Like, it's. It's better if you do the day before. The day before it. It feels like you feel like a good person. You do it. Morning of on the way over to your dad's and you, like, you meet the other guy there that's also doing it last minute, and they're. All the good cards are gone. It's like sad cards. They're like, that's always a sad time the morning of buying that card.

[Greg Cote]

Quite an admission by you.

[Mike Ryan]

Mother's Day, man.

[Stugotz]

Oh, Chris, that's. Honestly, I went with Christmas for number two because of the. The lore. But the reality is, any one of those holidays, Father's Day, Mother's Day, like, whenever you're buying the day off the.

[Mike Ryan]

Card, you're good at cvs.

[Stugotz]

They know.

[Mike Ryan]

Yeah, yeah, for sure.

[Stugotz]

They know. European, even. Birthday card, to be honest with you. Because if you. If you had time, you wouldn't have gone to CVS to get a birthday card. The whole card section, you know what? The whole card section. The Jets. No, actually, you know what? Leave it in there. Embarrassing thing to get at cvs. The Jets. The jets dropping a documentary next week that detailed the events of last season. That's the textbook definition of insult to injury. Nobody wants to relive that. Why? Why would you do that?

[Amin Elhassan]

What happened last year?

[Stugotz]

Huh? Nothing. Can we just go watch sports at a certain point? Like Hard Knocks?

[Mike Ryan]

There's the SEC show. Now there's the quarterback show.

[Stugotz]

The jets have a documentary. North Carolina is going to have their documentary.

[Mike Ryan]

There's a cowboy doc.

[Stugotz]

Like, can I just watch football and.

[Mike Ryan]

Not worry about all that other stuff? We should do a doc of us watching football this season and it'll come out at the end of the season. I love that.

[Stugotz]

Let's come out the beginning of next season.

[Mike Ryan]

Right?

[Stugotz]

Because that's what the jets did. It took a whole goddamn year to put this thing together. What are you doing over there? Aaron Rodgers complaining about the new helmet he has to wear after the league deemed his old helmet didn't meet safety standards. You know what he's doing, right? Setting up those excuses ahead of time. The guy's a master excuse maker. Come on, guys. Oh, it's the helmet. Oh, I didn't have enough helper. Oh. Oh. It's always something with this guy. It's never. I wasn't good enough. Paramount plus securing the rights to ufc. Me clicking online as for Zoe Saldana and getting Amanda Nunes instead. Legend course.

[Dan LeBatard]

Good one.

[Stugotz]

I wrote that one for you. Tom Brady statue looking more like Tom Brady then Tom Brady is. Like seeing the jerkbait logo. Wait a second. I already used that punchline. My fault. All right? The Marlins, the bed as soon as Tashay started hyping him up Congratulations. You ruined it.

[Mike Ryan]

Yeah, that's fair.

[Stugotz]

Texas. Texas opening up at number one and having to face Ohio State in week one doesn't seem fair. Also, how's the defending champ? Not number one. Like they're good enough for you to rank them two or three, depending on who you ask, but not good enough to be number one. They. They want it. The team that they're playing week one is the team that they beat on route to that championship. How are they not number one? Does anyone have an explanation for. I'm actually asking. This isn't part of the. The books.

[Dan LeBatard]

I mean, Texas had a really good off season. They. They acquired a lot of talent and.

[Amin Elhassan]

They got Arch Manning.

[Dan LeBatard]

Yeah.

[Stugotz]

Defending champs, man, they used to mean something.

[Dan LeBatard]

I'm with you though.

[Stugotz]

PO. Pablo Torre, Katie Nolan, and the third gentleman whose name escapes me. Discovering in 2025 the existence of Def Comedy Jam icon Alonzo Jones. How the episode, the episode should have been called Pablo Tori finds out about black people Hamburger Wick Grouse back thinking he could sell the Celtics with six Billy and still remain in charge for a couple of years.

[Amin Elhassan]

When are they gonna learn?

[Stugotz]

I know. It's like clicking on the jerk. Wait, hold on. How many of these do I have in here? Have you ever heard of jerk mate? Metal Arc Media dropping a Tarasi documentary that didn't talk to the one Metal Arc Media employee who not only worked with Taurasi, but helped her win her first WNBA title. The hell are we doing? Speaking of hell, Art Briles. Those are the weekend observations.

[Amin Elhassan]

Very good. Good job, Amin.

[Stugotz]

I tried.

[Mike Ryan]

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[Dan LeBatard]

Howdy folks, it's Mike Ryan. Happy summertime everybody. Summer is fantastic. A lot of outdoor activities, a lot of concerts, a couple of championship parades if you're lucky enough. A lot of big time movies. Maybe you're going to a happy hour before you see a big summer blockbuster with your friends. Why don't you order Miller Lite at the bar? Whether it's via draft glass bottle or that beautiful white can or the cool special edition 50th anniversary gold cans makin anytime this summer, a Miller time is always a great idea. You want to make a summer memory that lasts forever. Well, crack open a Miller Lite. You know why? Because since 1975, Miller Lite has been the go to way to stock your cooler to celebrate those incredible summer moments. This year marks 50 years of Miller Time. 50 great years of taste. 50 great years of celebrating with great friends and making unforgettable memories. Brewed for flavor with simple ingredients like malted barley, it delivers that rich, balanced, toppy note flavor and golden color that just hits different Miller Lite. Great taste. 96 calories. Go to millerlight.com dan to find delivery options near you. Or you can pick up some Miller Lite pretty much anywhere they sell beer. Cheers to 50 years of Miller time. Celebrate responsibly. Miller Brewing Co. Milwaukee, Wisconsin 96 calories, 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces.

[Chris Cody]

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[Amin Elhassan]

Gambling problem. Call 1-800- gambler in New York, call 877-8-Hopenwy or text hopeny467-369 in Connecticut. Help is available for problem gambling. Call 888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org Please play responsibly on behalf of Boot Hill Casino and Resort in Kansas, 21 and over.

[Mike Ryan]

Age and eligibility varies by jurisdiction.

[Amin Elhassan]

Void in bonus bets. Expire seven days after issuance.

[Mike Ryan]

For additional terms and responsible gaming resources, see DKNG co audio.

[Dan LeBatard]

Don LeBatard, you're getting started on the breakfast flan.

[Stugotz]

Oh, man, I've been singing a song to myself all morning long. Breakfast Flats. Have you never heard the breakfast?

[Dan LeBatard]

Fly with it.

[Stugotz]

Okay? I wish I had some breakfast Fl. Where can I find a breakfast like that?

[Amin Elhassan]

This is the Dan Levitar show with the Stugach. When are these NBA governors gonna learn? Like Wick Grossbeck, who, you know, I guess you know, previously owned the Celtics.

[Stugotz]

They're.

[Amin Elhassan]

They're not going to own them anymore. They're selling the team. He thought he was going to stay on as the governor the same way like Mark Cuban thought he was selling the team. And he's going to still be like, you don't get to sell the team and still be in charge. When are they going to learn?

[Stugotz]

It's so funny because like, like you said, Mark Cuban has that. We're dealing with the same thing with the Lakers. Selling Jeannie Bus is still going to be the governor. And the thing I keep saying is, imagine selling your car and then telling the guy who bought the car, oh, by the way, I still get to drive it. Yeah, it's still my car. You're paying for it, though. And in a couple of years, eventually you get to drive it.

[Amin Elhassan]

Like, it seems like something if the guy buys a team for a cup for a few billion dollars, probably wants to be in control.

[Stugotz]

They bought the team because they want the toy. They want to play with the toy. They didn't buy the toy so that someone else could play with it. And then they just say, oh, well, I own it. That's not. You don't buy a sports team for, like, the investment. I mean, sure, it's a good investment long term, but you buy a sports team because you're into the sport and you want to be able to say, yeah, I know Jason Tatum and he comes to my parties all the time and, and, oh, I sit court side and people come up to me and I'm an important person and without the ability to plague basically, God, and say, I'm going to trade him, I'm going to sign him, I'm going to fire him. Then you're just a guy on the sideline. People say, you're not the, you're not the owner. I know who the owner. Owner's Jeannie Buss. Look at her. She's over there at the press conference. Dude, it doesn't work this way. These people don't spend this money to not control the team.

[Greg Cote]

Yeah, but I feel like a former owner, a former prominent owner, like a Mark Cuban assumes sort of an emeritus position, at least publicly. Like, he's still allowed to go to the game. They're still going to show him in the stands. They're still going to come to him for comments when his former team makes a big trade.

[Amin Elhassan]

But he's not at that board of governors meeting anymore.

[Greg Cote]

No, but I find, I find that normal, though, that a former owner would still want some of that spotlight to linger even after he sells the team.

[Stugotz]

Greg, it's not so much about the spotlight. It's about the power. The governor is the one who votes at the board of governors meetings. The governor is the one that is on the committees. Right. These are the people who are shaping how basketball kind of works as a business moving forward. And the idea that I would cede that control to someone else, basically, for someone else to speak on behalf of a team, not in the court of public opinion, but in the real places where power is heard and listened to, that's kind of ridiculous. Yeah, you want to wick. You want to come to games, Come to games. You want people to shake your hand, say thank you for the championships, that's fine. What you can't do is say, and the Celtics think we should do that. No, no, no, no, no, no. That's my job now. I bought the team.

[Greg Cote]

Right? But you can have an opinion. Like, I agree with you. You shouldn't be on the board of governors if you no longer have. Have that power. But the former owner carries a little weight in terms of opinion, particularly if it's an owner who was respected like Mark Cuban was.

[Amin Elhassan]

I mean, I got some audio that we want to play for you here. All right? Michael Porter Jr. Now, he's going to play for the Brooklyn Nets this coming season, but his brother doesn't play anywhere anymore. All right? His brother is in big trouble. He had the. The gambling and the prop bets and, you know, the under, and he got a lot of trouble.

[Stugotz]

Not good.

[Amin Elhassan]

And his brother, Michael Porter Jr. Was on a show called One Night Steiny.

[Stugotz]

All right?

[Dan LeBatard]

With Stein.

[Amin Elhassan]

One night with Steiny. One night in Steiny. I told you, Greg, it's One Night with Steiny. So here is Michael Porter Jr. I mean, let's give this a listen where he's. He's probably talking about things that he in particular should not be talking about.

[Tony Grossi]

Think about if. If you could get all your homies rich by telling him, yo, no $10,000 on my under. You know, this one game, I'mma act like I got an injury and I'm a sit out. I'm gonna come out after three minutes, and they all get a little bad because you did it. One game like that is so not okay. But the. Some people probably think like that they come from nothing, and all their homies have nothing. And they're like, bro, if I. If I come out of this game after three minutes and y' all all hit on my under, we're all getting a little bag, you know what I mean? And I, I, I, obviously my brother Went through his situation. You know, Malik Beasley's going through a situation right now. Terry Rosier was in some hot water.

[Amin Elhassan]

How did Michael Porter Jr. Wake up one morning and said, you know what I'm going to do today? I'm going to say all of that out loud.

[Stugotz]

See, Zaz, your mind went to Michael Porter Jr's morning. My mind went to Steiny's morning where it's like, yeah, we got Michael Porter Jr. On today. Oh, maybe we'll talk about some interesting. These guys got traded. Whatever. Okay, we'll ask him that. I'll get to the topic of gambling is like, oh, he's probably going to be real coy around this. His brother's still dealing with the federal investigation and stuff. He's banned from the NBA. Probably. We got. But we have to ask. This is a journalistic outfit. I gotta ask. And then he could shoot me down. It's up to him. And he asked the question. And Michael Bordj says detailing how to run a successful gambling operation here. And the sound you hear if you turn the volume up really, really loud. I'm not saying let's replay it now, but you could rewind in the podcast. Turn it up really loud. When you hear him say, oh, get all my homies a bag. You can hear the of Steiny's dick hitting the bottom of the desk. Like, oh, shit, he said it. Oh, my God. And you guys didn't play this part. But he goes On Michael Porter Jr. Does to say, we all had our struggles in life. My brother struggled all the time with gambling and money. That's why God didn't give him money. He's like me. I, my, my. My advice was women. I had women everywhere. My brother didn't have. So for me, I don't have a wife. And shout out to beheading from Club 520. Because he said he's like, my brother never got. But I got swimming in it basically was the messaging by Michael Porter Jr. There. But it's just, it's fascinating. And one final shout out to Steiny if you listen to him.

[Chris Cody]

Wait, I mean, I mean, I want to, I want to break in really quick. This is Steiny from the Nelk Boys.

[Stugotz]

Correct?

[Mike Ryan]

Steiny, the one that interviewed Netanyahu, like, right. I thought this was Willie Collie Stein.

[Stugotz]

Oh, I thought it was Mark Stein. No, what do you thought it was? Mark Stein?

[Dan LeBatard]

It's actually Einstein.

[Stugotz]

Here's the thing. My dick is really hard talking about gambling. Clear eye.

[Dan LeBatard]

Why do you sound like Shock G. Rest in peace.

[Stugotz]

I once got busy in a Birth King bathroom. That's pretty good right there in Brickell. That's the one he's talking about.

[Dan LeBatard]

The one that hold over from the 1980s design.

[Stugotz]

But yeah, like. Like that, you hear. Just give him hyping him up the whole time. 100%. Yeah, absolutely. Like, no, not 100% siding. I mean.

[Amin Elhassan]

I mean, the next time that someone on one of these shows disagrees with or pushes back against the athlete that's on their show will be the very first time that's ever happened.

[Stugotz]

All I'm wondering is why we didn't get Michael Porter Jr. This could have been our school. This could be our get. We could have been asking all these. Look, question. I'm just saying, think all the ridiculous questions that Chris Cody has asked in interviews over the years, right? Like, why would you ask. Like, Michael Porter Jr. Would be the one where it's like, yeah, we're getting an actual answer here.

[Amin Elhassan]

I just don't understand how, like, do you think there's a moment after that. Sit down. That he says to himself, you know, it probably shouldn't have been as forthcoming as it was, you know, detailing how he could scam gambling sites, you know, and considering my brother is at the center of it.

[Greg Cote]

But he did have the lame little disclaimer at the first when. When he said something like, we all know this is wrong, but. And then he details all that. It was totally incriminating.

[Stugotz]

Yeah, you know, it's the answer your questions asked. No, I think he walked out. That's pretty good. And someone said, hey, man, you don't. You don't think we should ask them to cut out the. The part where you talk about gambling? No, no, I put the disclaimer saying, we all know it's wrong. We're good. It's like. It's like the reckless speculation. Sounder, right? You play like you're good. You can say whatever you want after that.

[Amin Elhassan]

Yo, I mean, how excited are you about NBA schedule? At least tomorrow.

[Stugotz]

Stupid. Stupid. The only people who should care, obviously the teams, right? The. The media, people who have to travel. If you're. If you're. For instance, if you're Jason Jackson, voice of the Miami Heat, he's got to figure out what city he's going to be in at any given moment. If you're a beat writer, you. You know, if you're Ira Winderman. Yeah. I gotta figure out which one of these flights. I gotta start booking hotels now. Right, But. But fans, who cares, man? You're Gonna find out. When you find out, you'll find out like, hey, this week, oh, the Lakers are playing against the Mavericks. Oh, I better tune into that one. Right, but you don't need to know in August. And, and the reason why we do this is because the NFL does this and the NFL does this because there's only 17 games. People do travel for road games a lot of. And they have to book flights in hotels. And that's kind of a part of the NFL culture. And so they've made a big deal out of it. And every team has its schedule, release little video and stuff. But the NBA, man, it's a different product. It's like trying to sell Coca Cola the way Hyundai sells cars. Like, no, we don't have the same approach because we're not selling the same product. Dumb. Having said that, Christmas Day, no Eastern Conference games other than the first one. You know what that means? He needs to put the kids to bed right after the Easter conference is over. No.

[Chris Cody]

Okay, so at 2:00, after, after Cavs.

[Dan LeBatard]

Nicks were putting the kids to bed.

[Stugotz]

On Christmas Day, you guys just sat there just like it was good.

[Dan LeBatard]

Not a lot of buying there.

[Mike Ryan]

We didn't have Jeremy level buy in.

[Tony Grossi]

What do you think?

[Dan LeBatard]

That's very true.

[Stugotz]

You think you're family?

[Dan LeBatard]

You think you're family? What do you think of the. What do you think of our theory that we made earlier this, this morning that the NBA game should start at the crack of dawn? You have jazz wizards just on the TV as you're opening up presents. Just make it a 24 hour hostile takeover.

[Stugotz]

I'm with it. I'm with it. And I think that's. That should be. Everyone's like, how do you punish teams for tanking? How do you punish teams for being bad? We should take away their picks. We should do. No, no, no, no. You make them Play. Christmas morning, 6am huh? You want to be bad now, See, that's. That gives you incentive. Everyone's like, I'm not trying to be one of the worst teams. Next year they're going to start winning games. And that's how you cure tanking.

[Amin Elhassan]

I mean, you may have heard yesterday I was dealing with a situation at home. I have a high school kid and I was dealing with a very unpleasant situation. As a parent, you got something going on too.

[Stugotz]

Yeah. No. First of all, your situation is ridiculous, man. The kid, the kid's mad. The kid was mad that his mom, White Tam, put limits on his phone. Was that the impetus of.

[Amin Elhassan]

Well, no, we we did that in response to what we were not happy with him about.

[Stugotz]

Yeah, what were you not happy about him?

[Amin Elhassan]

Just his attitude. Like he's moody. Moody teenager moody.

[Stugotz]

Yeah. My thing is this. Fix your face. You know what? Just fix your face. Get out of here. And the idea that, like, you allow him, like, you can leave. Does he pay the car note on the car?

[Amin Elhassan]

He actually does make payments.

[Stugotz]

Does he pay the car note? Does not. Does he contribute to the car note? Does he make the car note?

[Amin Elhassan]

I don't know what that means.

[Dan LeBatard]

How does he make the illegal gambling with his. Or the poker game that he's.

[Amin Elhassan]

No, he works a job with his job. He works at a card store.

[Mike Ryan]

Nice.

[Stugotz]

A card store? Yeah.

[Amin Elhassan]

Trading card store.

[Stugotz]

Yeah.

[Dan LeBatard]

They can. They can do that.

[Stugotz]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Dan LeBatard]

16 year olds can work.

[Amin Elhassan]

He's responsible in that fashion. And we make him pay. He pays. He makes the payments.

[Stugotz]

What about the insurance?

[Amin Elhassan]

We. We pay the insurance.

[Greg Cote]

So.

[Stugotz]

Okay, there you go. Pay that. Yeah, there you go, buddy. You got to leave all that stuff behind. You can leave. You going. You going to leave this property right here? Yeah.

[Dan LeBatard]

That's a good maturity.

[Stugotz]

I'm not insurance. Something that, that you just driving around. You're mad at me about. Oh, I'm angry. I'm emotional. I'm on. Be emotional on your feet. Walk it out.

[Dan LeBatard]

Got to be honest.

[Greg Cote]

Get a bike.

[Dan LeBatard]

Him making car payments, it changes the whole dynamic.

[Amin Elhassan]

It's not cheap, the car payments.

[Stugotz]

I'm kind of with this kid.

[Dan LeBatard]

This kid needs it. Like, I can pay my car, but I can't go watch the Arab fighters in Chicago. I don't get that.

[Stugotz]

What?

[Dan LeBatard]

Whatsoever.

[Amin Elhassan]

Shut up, parents.

[Stugotz]

I'm with him.

[Amin Elhassan]

Loves the Arab fighters.

[Stugotz]

The. The. The issue I'm dealing with, Zaz, is my child is. Is a sophomore. And we just had curriculum night the other night. And that's where you go to all the classes and you meet the teachers and they're talking about this, that, and the other. And I'm beginning to realize I don't even remember how I took classes in high school. I just showed up and this was my schedule. We did it. And these kids, now they gotta pick. You gotta pick. Are you gonna do AP World History? And you do. You do AP US History? And then ap. I'm like, oh, my God, how many AP courses do you take? And I'm looking online and say, well, the really good schools want to take at least seven. So now we got to figure out, okay, these are the AP courses you got to take, but you can't Take these AP courses without these prereqs here, honors this and honors that. And so I'm sitting here, I'm like, my head is spinning how much I got to do to make sure my kid can get into college. And I go back to what I was doing. And I literally just showed up at the hand of me a schedule.

[Amin Elhassan]

I don't think that's true, man. Like, I remember on the, like the last day of school, you would have to fill some kind of form out format out format, which you would tell them the classes that you want for the next year.

[Stugotz]

Don't remember any of that. Don't remember any of that. I just remember showing up and like, here's your schedule. I just. I don't. And the idea that now the picking of the classes as a sophomore can have an impact on where you go to college.

[Amin Elhassan]

Of course.

[Stugotz]

What are we doing? Yeah, man, I thought senior year now we're like, oh, we gotta. Gotta get ready for college.

[Amin Elhassan]

Senior year is like the least important.

[Mike Ryan]

Everyone knows junior year's the big year. Yeah, junior year is the big year for everything. Yep.

[Amin Elhassan]

Senior year ain't, man.

[Stugotz]

For real. Has it always been like that?

[Mike Ryan]

Well, the applications go out before senior year, so it's really based off what you've done in your junior year. And they'll keep monitoring the transcripts come your sink when you're hardly in school my senior year, why you have to have some of those APs on the.

[Dan LeBatard]

Schedule at early release.

[Mike Ryan]

I did the seven AP, you're applying.

[Dan LeBatard]

To classes and some fingering.

[Stugotz]

Jeremy, you did seven AP classes and went to ucf?

[Mike Ryan]

Yeah, man, I got into Chapel Hill. I just didn't want to take out loans.

[Stugotz]

Oh, wow. Chapel.

[Mike Ryan]

All that. All that work for nothing.

[Stugotz]

Wow.

[Mike Ryan]

Oh, look what he's done.

[Stugotz]

I like that. Now, now, now I got them. Now I got them on my side. All right, here we go.

[Greg Cote]

Chapel Roan.

[Stugotz]

Hey, by the way, Tony, I wanted to talk to you about Hard Knocks, man.

[Greg Cote]

Okay.

[Stugotz]

Big thing about Hard Knocks.

[Greg Cote]

Yeah.

[Stugotz]

First of all, Greg, you're absolutely wrong. Everyone loves Hard Knocks. You're the only one on this island. But. But the quality has dipped. The quality has dipped. I say this because the biggest thing about every season of Hard Knocks is always what? The first intro to episode one.

[Mike Ryan]

That's. Thank you, dude.

[Stugotz]

Right? That's where they get you.

[Amin Elhassan]

Like, better give me some sprinklers.

[Mike Ryan]

This year was so bad.

[Stugotz]

The worst. The best one ever. The best one ever was. And look, I'm not endorsing the man I'm just saying it was a hell of an intro to their season of Hard Knocks. Was the Raiders with John Guden. Yeah. Where he says, everyone's got a dream. I dream about playing in NFL. I dream about. Dude, he's like, I'm not in the dreams anymore. I'm in the nightmare. Dude, he electric. Dude.

[Mike Ryan]

I loved that the first. He does that speech like every college program has put out. Him giving that speech now. So I'm a little over that speech.

[Stugotz]

He did it to Georgia. Just a couple weeks.

[Mike Ryan]

But it does slap. The first time you hear it on Hard Knocks. It did slap.

[Dan LeBatard]

I'm in a.

[Stugotz]

Because, you know, knock on the wood.

[Mike Ryan]

If you hear Amy.

[Amin Elhassan]

Was that Gruden or Jack Nicholson?

[Dan LeBatard]

Nightmares.

[Stugotz]

Don LeBatard.

[Greg Cote]

What do I got here? I got a Magnum condom. We won't get that out.

[Stugotz]

That's shocking.

[Dan LeBatard]

Stugats.

[Greg Cote]

Here's a picture of Christopher when He was, like, 3 years old.

[Stugotz]

Right next to the condo. Yeah. Reminder, never forget.

[Amin Elhassan]

This is the Dan Levatar show with the stugats.

[Mike Ryan]

His son's still a coach on the radio.

[Dan LeBatard]

Deuce Gruden.

[Stugotz]

He didn't. He didn't sell any.

[Mike Ryan]

Send any emails, but Gruden just won some.

[Stugotz]

Some.

[Mike Ryan]

Some lawsuit.

[Stugotz]

Yeah.

[Dan LeBatard]

He's going to get his day in court. Actually, he's not. Because the NFL does not want to go to discovery.

[Greg Cote]

So crush him.

[Dan LeBatard]

Congratulations. That was Nicholson.

[Stugotz]

So. But when he. When he drops that, I'm in the nightmares. That's where they drop the first notes of the music. You do that and. And then it builds a little bit.

[Mike Ryan]

Yeah, it's so good.

[Stugotz]

All right, let's watch the Hard Knock this year. It's like, sit down, sit down. Hey, get Mike. Oh, I'm getting married too. I don't care. Producer man.

[Mike Ryan]

Right? The worst one ever. It was the worst intro to Hard Knocks ever. It was just him sitting down.

[Greg Cote]

Oh, I'm getting mic'd up.

[Mike Ryan]

Okay, let's do this right.

[Stugotz]

Oh, and the producer saying, oh, oh, you got married. Congratulations. I'm getting married, too. Like, I don't care. Way to make it about you, producer man.

[Amin Elhassan]

A great point.

[Mike Ryan]

It's really ridiculous.

[Stugotz]

Other notes about Hard Knocks. This is year, what, 25, 27, maybe? No, 30. 30 of hard knocks.

[Greg Cote]

Yeah.

[Amin Elhassan]

Still can't get the 40.

[Stugotz]

Close cap. You're 40 of hard knocks.

[Amin Elhassan]

I have 50.

[Stugotz]

50 of hard knocks. Keep going. Do I hear 51? Still can't get the closed captioning. Right. I gotta deal with closed captioning. That A is like on a 30 second delay.

[Mike Ryan]

I never know he's right about that. I never know if that's the show's fault. Is that my fault? I never know if that's me.

[Stugotz]

That's the show's fault.

[Mike Ryan]

Like Internet. I know it's not my fault.

[Stugotz]

No, no, it's. It's. So typically, live events do have a little bit of a delay. You guys had a whole goddamn week, man, to sync this shit up, number one. Number two, most shows are smart enough that if there's text on the screen, like for instance, who this rookie unsigned, undrafted free agent is, will put the captions up when, you know, away from where that text is, not hard knocks, they slap that shit right over. And I'm like, I don't know who this is. Now I just got to go for context clues. It's Buffalo Joe. Who the hell is that? Yeah. All right. Number three, Greg McDermott was wearing a T shirt that said playoff caliber.

[Dan LeBatard]

Sean. Is that is a brother that's on the staff? Is this nepotism? Who's Greg McDermott?

[Stugotz]

Sean McDermott.

[Dan LeBatard]

Oh, he's. Yeah, no, he's a dude. That the jihad guy. Got it.

[Stugotz]

Yep.

[Greg Cote]

Dumb T shirt.

[Stugotz]

He had to play all caliber. That's what they got in Buffalo. Like, way to set your expectations super low.

[Dan LeBatard]

This is. If they don't do it this time, Mike McCarthy vibes off of McDermott.

[Amin Elhassan]

I think McDermott's on a hot seat. I do. Nobody says that.

[Dan LeBatard]

They.

[Stugotz]

I don't know.

[Dan LeBatard]

They did drastic enough moves. They got Bosa in there. That's fine. But yes, if they fail yet again.

[Stugotz]

Yeah.

[Dan LeBatard]

And it's really unfair because Josh Allen. You could make an argument. Josh Allen might be the second greatest quarterback of all time, but we don't know it because he's playing it. Keeps running into the greatest quarterback of all time. They gotta. They gotta change it up. If they lose to this team again.

[Amin Elhassan]

And the easiest thing to change is the coach. I totally think he's on the hot seat.

[Mike Ryan]

Something about these mick coaches, huh? Has ever been a Good. Mike, Mike McDaniel. Am I getting on something?

[Dan LeBatard]

Yeah, you did.

[Stugotz]

Of all people.

[Dan LeBatard]

If you think you're family, if you think you're. I can't believe I would accept you saying a common slur about.

[Mike Ryan]

Fair enough.

[Amin Elhassan]

If you think you're northern Europeans.

[Stugotz]

Yeah.

[Mike Ryan]

Something about these MC coaches, Mike McDaniel.

[Dan LeBatard]

Is that a generational divide? Did you not.

[Mike Ryan]

I didn't even know that one.

[Stugotz]

I was with him. I thought.

[Mike Ryan]

Good topic.

[Dan LeBatard]

Yeah.

[Stugotz]

No.

[Mike Ryan]

Well, it's been bleeped, so.

[Dan LeBatard]

All right, but you're not gonna believe this in America.

[Mike Ryan]

Still a good take.

[Dan LeBatard]

They had an attitude towards immigrants way back when.

[Mike Ryan]

Let's get back to. His topic is, are there any examples of good coaches who start with, let's.

[Dan LeBatard]

Do the racist one that Jeremy wanted?

[Chris Cody]

It could actually be worse if you bleep it, by the way.

[Mike Ryan]

Mike McCarthy, bad. Mike McDaniel, hot seat. Sean McDermott, hot seat. Josh McDaniel hasn't worked out. Give me a good Mc. It was a good one.

[Greg Cote]

Don McShuler.

[Mike Ryan]

A great topic. Greg's right about that.

[Dan LeBatard]

It's all right. You didn't know.

[Stugotz]

The McGoat.

[Dan LeBatard]

You didn't know.

[Mike Ryan]

I really had no idea, Don. That one's on me. I'm gonna Google it. Mick Shula.

[Greg Cote]

That's right.

[Stugotz]

Jeremy. Jeremy somewhere. Myers Leonard is like, aha. See? Not so easy, is it?

[Mike Ryan]

Ron McDonald.

[Stugotz]

Greg.

[Mike Ryan]

He's fine, by the way.

[Greg Cote]

There you go.

[Amin Elhassan]

I mean, you got anything else from Hard Knocks?

[Stugotz]

From Hard Knocks? Yeah. Drifting with a kid in the passenger seat.

[Chris Cody]

That is crazy.

[Amin Elhassan]

Drifting with a 5.

[Stugotz]

Can't be legal, dude. And the helmet doesn't even fit the helmet. The child is not big enough to sit in the front seat of a minivan, let alone a car that's drifting. And I thought it was going to be like, I. I saw the course and I was like, okay, so they've got cones and stuff. So he'll drive out to the middle, and then he'll start drifting there. Nope, he starts drifting right around the corner of that building immediately. And I'm like, oh, this. This is CPS waiting to happen. I haven't checked Twitter, but I have to imagine people lost their mind.

[Mike Ryan]

What do you think the bills hate more?

[Amin Elhassan]

The what?

[Mike Ryan]

Is it the driving recklessly or the guy, like, wrangling snakes? Like, what are they like? They don't have contracts where they're like, hey, you can't do dangerous shit in the first episode. There are multiple players. Yeah, but Chris, shit.

[Chris Cody]

The AJ Epanessa doing the python hunting, that's not that bad because the pythons are. They're not venomous.

[Stugotz]

Yeah.

[Chris Cody]

For that to come around and choke you like, you're.

[Dan LeBatard]

You're doing something stupid.

[Mike Ryan]

I just feel like the bills can't love that.

[Stugotz]

I can't love the dude drifting with.

[Mike Ryan]

A child in the car. This is first episode. Two guys on their off day are doing insanely reckless things.

[Stugotz]

My favorite thing is not only is it a child, but it's like, it's not like, oh, Bless his heart. Junior loves drifting. We do whatever. It's like all of them, all three.

[Chris Cody]

Of them, they line up for it.

[Mike Ryan]

It's proof that kids will follow you anywhere. Like, it's like, hey, let's go do this insanely dangerous thing. Like, yeah, dad.

[Stugotz]

Mike, Mike. Not on a company laptop, man. Not on a company laptop.

[Mike Ryan]

That's on me. My bad. Ball off me, coach.

[Stugotz]

Oh, man.

[Mike Ryan]

Yeah, you're fired.

[Greg Cote]

Okay. I mean, I want to say one thing in rebuttal to Hard Knocks. And I know I'm in a room full of Hard Knocks lovers right now. I want to speak for the rest of America, okay? Right now, people who live in Buffalo are loving this Hard Knocks. People who live in the 31 other NFL cities are either yawning or switching over to a Honeymooners rerun. They don't care why.

[Stugotz]

Those are the options.

[Greg Cote]

That's what a lot of people. Why would people care about watching the inner workings of another team that isn't theirs? I just don't get it, Greg.

[Stugotz]

I can only speak for myself. I love Hard Knocks because it makes me care about teams I don't care about and it makes me care about players I don't care about. Like there. Whenever I see a guy who like, I saw from Hard Knocks and obviously not like Josh Allen, clearly everyone knows who that is, but like one of those no name guys. And then like three years later, he's in the NFL somewhere else. Like, that's the dude. I still to this day I remember John Connor from the Jets. Hard Knocks, like, oh, that's the Terminator. They called him the Terminator. He's a little pullback. And like for years after that, whenever I saw like, oh, it's Terminator, man. I don't know.

[Amin Elhassan]

It makes that ultimate guy was 7 11, right?

[Stugotz]

7 11. Oh, yeah.

[Mike Ryan]

Darren Waller was that guy for a lot of people, right, Waller?

[Stugotz]

Yeah.

[Mike Ryan]

I was like, oh, man, I have a fantasy draft.

[Stugotz]

Like, oh, who's that tight end on the Raiders I keep seeing on Hardick?

[Mike Ryan]

Let me take a flyer.

[Amin Elhassan]

And I'm like, oh, wow, this worked out.

[Dan LeBatard]

I'm dating myself. But Bobby Scipio with the Kansas City Chiefs back in the day.

[Stugotz]

What a story. I'm telling you. Like it. It really does a great job. The Hard Knocks is Greg earlier, like, oh, I feel like it's edited. Of course it's edited. This is a big commercial for the NFL. It's not meant to be revelatory at all. It's not a documentary. It is a great marketing tool for the NFL. It makes you fall in love with characters and people in a way in the league that doesn't really tend to market that way. They market the shield, they market the teams. But this show makes you care. It shows that, yeah, I can care about things NFL related if I got to know the people behind the masks.

[Amin Elhassan]

I mean, before we let you go, you got a movie of the week for us.

[Stugotz]

Yes, Movie of the week. This is on cinephobia drops tomorrow. Today. If you're a Patreon member, count the things.com patreon.com There you go.

[Amin Elhassan]

That wasn't.

[Chris Cody]

We got there.

[Stugotz]

All right, we can do that again. 3, 2, 1. Patreon.com Count the things Patreon. Remember, the episode comes out today. Jurassic Park 3. Yes. This is the sequel that didn't have, didn't have my man Jeff Goldblum, but brought back Sam Neill, who was not in Jurassic Park 2. And so me, Zach, and Maze, we pull it apart and look around and see if this is really deserved to be an under 40% movie. Or maybe he didn't get a fair shake. Did you know that Zaz at Jurassic park three Poor critic reviews.

[Amin Elhassan]

I, I, I definitely knew that. I don't think I've seen Jurassic Park 3 because it was received so poorly.

[Dan LeBatard]

Oh, you got, you haven't seen that spinosaurus that. Oh, dude, this is the one where they decide T. Rex not doing it for the franchise anymore. Let's upscale.

[Amin Elhassan]

I don't think I saw that.

[Stugotz]

I don't know that's where that started.

[Amin Elhassan]

I don't know that fool.

[Stugotz]

Like, if you watch the Jurassic World movies, it's all about like, oh, he's bigger, badder dinosaurs, like the raptors and the T. Rex weren't enough. That started in Jurassic Park 3 where they started trying to, like, branch out, let us know that there's some other things that are more scary than the T. Rex, which is kind of ridiculous, but also, it is the movie that gave us one of the most famous lines in Jurassic park world history. Go on, Mike, can you recite it?

[Dan LeBatard]

We're gonna need a bigger boat.

[Stugotz]

Not close. Very close. Very close. It's, it's a bird cage.