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Dan Le Batard
You're listening to Giraffe Kings Network. Yeah, sure thing. Hey, you sold that car yet? Yeah, sold it to Carvana. Oh, I thought you were selling to that guy. The guy who wanted to pay me in foreign currency, no interest over 36 months. Yeah, no. Carvana gave me an offer in minutes, picked it up and paid me on the spot. It was so convenient. Just like that? Yep. No hassle? None. That is super convenient. Sell your car to Carvana and swap. Hassle. For convenience. Pickup fees may apply. This episode is brought to you by State Farm. You might say all kinds of stuff when things go wrong, but these are the words you really need to remember. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. They've got options to fit your unique insurance needs, meaning you can talk to your agent to choose the coverage you need, have coverage options to protect the things you value most, file a claim right on the State Farm mobile app, and even reach a real person when you need to talk to someone. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. This is the Dan Levator show with the Stugats podcast. All right, guys, it's time. Four against the spread. Come on. And it's presented by. Can we do it again? Come on. Zazzle wants to do it again. Zazzle didn't know how to do it. All right, guys, it's time once again for against the spread. And it's presented by DraftKings. DraftKings. The Crown is yours, Billy. I'm gonna start on the hardwood. Wow. Right across the street, we got a big one today. The Golden State warriors, who are they playing? Minus five and a half against the Miami Heat at home. Now, here's something not that many people are talking about. There's one person that's been mentioning it, but not many people are talking about. The warriors are coming on, coming in 0 for 1 in their last one big losing streak. The Heat, on the other hand, coming in 1 0. I told you. That's the headline I want tonight on tnt. That's what's happening right now. One team losing streak, the other team winning streak. Tensions are going to be high if there isn't kind of like an embrace at the beginning of the game, thank yous and all that. The experts are saying that's probably not what we're going to expect. We're going to be looking out to see if one Jimmy Butler, who's coming back, gives a look to Pat Riley at some point in the game. But you know what? I don't know that. The Golden State warriors again coming in on a losing streak are going to be able to go up against the Miami Heat and the Heat culture and the pressure that comes with one of the greatest fan bases in the NBA. So the fact that the line is minus 5.5 for the road team again coming in on a losing streak, facing the red hot Miami Heat 10 in their last one. I'm gonna have to take the Miami Heat plus five and a half tonight against the warriors against the spread. Tony, Hate to do this, but in that very same game, very juicy spread of -5 and a half to a team that's lost 11 out of their last 12 games. Want to know, of course, but have lost 11 of the last 12 games. We don't know if Steph Curry is going to play, but we do know that Jimmy Butler is going to play. And I'm going to bank on Jimmy Butler having a pretty good game. You can't do this this way. We're in a contract year with DraftKings. I know, but I'm trying to give people value. We're not talking about the fact that Jimmy Butler completely allegedly trashed the place that he used to rent. Like what happens if, you know, the fuzz comes to talk to him before the game? They're going to know exactly where he is. The fuzz. The FBI, they come up, they talk to him. The police. Five, zero, Popo. They say, you know what, Jimmy? There's been a complaint. We need to do an investigation here. You trash your former residence here. You guys hear about this? Sassy, you know about this? I do, yeah. What happens if there's an investigation and he ends up not being able to suit up? 5 and a half's a lot. How much do you think the security deposit is that they're threatening to keep? Is it million? I thought it was millions of dollars. A couple hundred grand, the security deposit. A couple hundred grand. Like 250, I thought. Put it on the poll, please. Juju at Lebatard show over under of the person who call police. The fuzz, 100 years old. Put the number at 100 years old. You find a place with hundreds of thousand dollars. A million dollar security deposit. You find another place. There's plenty of places that you can live at that don't have a million dollar security deposit. I go by Popo. Yeah. Have you guys seen Jimmy when he does like Architectural Digest. Digest. Digest. Digest. Well said. Wow. 5o. I'm more of a 12 guy. His home in California is his second home. And it's unbelievable. Like the places that this person lives there's a reason he wanted that extension. So you can't digest or say digest. Yeah. I'm going to Golden State minus five and a half. Jess, you must never apologize for making a digestion joke at my expense. Even have an orange. That has to be a safe space for all of us. I am still alarmed as we head into this second hour, hour two of the show. It's actually the fourth hour of the show, but it's our two. Yeah, we do a lot of show. Zaslow said something that I have not heard for all of the content made everywhere about this stupid Jimmy Butler game. I have not heard said plainly on television what Zaslo just said during a break. He just said, jimmy's full of shit. Yeah, he's a liar. Yeah, he's a liar. Go on. Well, he sort. Jimmy was asked with his media availability yesterday amongst a bunch of questions, you know, essentially, when did you know that things were awry? Like, you know, he was like, we. You know, I knew at the end of last year, so. So back in May, you knew that we were at the point of no return. And he said, yes, I knew back then. Well, then why were we asking for an extension over the summer? And Jimmy was also asked if you signed the extension, if the Heat gave you the money, was this situation avoidable? And he said flatly, no. So, A, why did you ask for the extension when you knew things were done with? And B, he's just trying to make it sound like it's not about money. When we know it's about money, it's only about money. It's always about money. So I think he's full of shit. Okay, so you. You could say full of shit, but I would say, doesn't he end up being right about. It's 35 years old, and the last 16 games have proven that franchise wasn't going to give me an extension that got me to 37. And I need to get my money now because I'm tired of playing with these bums. Like, isn't that what happened? I'm like, isn't that some form of. I know they're my friends and everything, but I'm tired of playing with these bums who have turned out in 11 games since to appear like bums. But he's saying that even if they gave him the money, he was at the point of no return, that he didn't want to play there anymore. And I think it's nonsense. Okay, you can say that it's nonsense. And I would see how a proud athlete would Be disrespected by, hey, do you know basketball ball's history on who does 40 point games, eight games in the postseason? Like, no, get me better dudes. You see, we're at the point in the saga where now you guys sound like people that have been dumped and you keep wanting to rehash how the dumping happened. And I'm the friend who keeps having to hear about it. Thank you. Over and over and over and over again. And I'm like, hey, man, I know it was a really hard breakup and I feel for you, but we need to move on now. All right. But the girl that I broke up with is in front of a microphone being asked questions, coming over to your house tonight. Other people. And she's great. And she's so upset. I get it. Talking about, oh, but she's gonna look like in two years, as though. Am I right? She's gonna look so bad in two. You know, I have a breakup song. She probably looks. Breakup song if you want it about. Totally busted. Yeah, we don't want the breakup song yet. The Heat, we're not wrong, by the way, and are not wrong. And not wanting to give 37 year old Jimmy Butler a ton of money like that is crazy, reckless, irresponsible. What. What is wrong with the Heat having wanted him to play out the contract they gave him. I don't want to have this conversation again when you say, though, that it would have been reckless to give it to him. Perhaps, but one team was willing and it's why Jimmy wins. Like, yes, it's reckless. And Golden State gave him the money and he got the money and because he was telling everybody, I'm 35, I know it's over. You guys don't know what these bums are. You don't know what I've been carrying for five years. I know I keep saying bums again and again, but like he's, he's. I don't know. I feel like there have been some real. Well, sure, you're talking about the end of the roster this season and we can go through those names, right? Mo Harkless and Dwayne Dedman and all these guys that were at the end of the rotation or out of the roster. But, like, why are we still relitigating it? And Liam Hicks. Yeah. And Connor Norby. So you guys are right. And I want to. I'm going to get to these songs in a second. But before I do that, because you may be indeed tired, as I'm sure you are, of storylines instead of real basketball. I've been telling you that Juju Gotti is a special talent around here. And last season, juju took over our live YouTube after games in a show called Alley Oop. And it does basketball a little bit less storyline and a little bit better than the heat homerism you find around here. So, from who? Yeah. I can't believe we brought in somebody, Jess. We brought in somebody who's more of a homer than the other homers. Yeah. And the girl always looks so much worse in a couple years. But you're going to look really good because you're going to go to the gym, you're going to get your life turned around. You're not going to keep falling into the same patterns that you've been falling into your entire life. This is really when change starts. Look, that girl is going to look busted, woman. And you're gonna look so good. Yeah, he looks terrible now, woman. Not. Not anyone, you know, hypothetically, of course. Woman. That was the problem there. Let's introduce the audience to Ali. Oops. Look. Where the Celtic jersey. It ain't even hanging. It's right here. I gotta look. It's right here behind the juju. You don't make me broke my wall. Look, coming down on the juju. It's up there. Broke your wall. Hey, got me messing up. Look. You knocking down the mic. How many damn jerseys do you have? Every time I go to church, I be like, sorry, I gotta wear the jar tonight. I gotta wear the Luca to the Mavericks to Sunday service. Look. Well, look at Josh. What? What? He's what? He's. He's what we call a whorefin. Everybody can get some of juju. He got every jersey, bruh. We gonna get to these damn knits. Because every time I see Josh, I see him saying, michael Jalen, Brunson, you feel me? The Knicks is this. This brother Nick Dante divincenzo turned over his damn gr. Y'all got rid of that man for this. Y'all boy lost to the Spurs. The tanking spur. Them boy tanking like silk. The shocker. No more tanking like Mia X. Sir, y'all to the Spurs. We missing. We missing our engine right now. You really gonna judge us off of over these games? We're missing out. Versus the Spurs? Yes. Versus the Blazers. Yes. Not in San Antonio. You're not really waking up to play the Spurs. We really a playoff aspiring. We know we better than the plan. We know we. We as long as we could evade Giannis in that first round and people like that we are. We. We. All right. People like that like you trying to avoid people like that. Let me news flash. The books is about the sixth, seventh best team in the league. Every top team. You're gonna have to play somebody. I know the game now. I don't. Giannis and Dame is like that combination nobody's seen yet. And I don't want to be the team to find out that they them guys in the playoffs. I don't want to be that team again. Found out about Halle Bern. We got, we got rumors that Damian Lillard is going to request a trade again. They had to have an in house meeting with Doc Rivers. It's okay, you'll be fine. It's Doc Rivers at the helm. He's not, he's not going to beat the Knicks. He's not worth it. He's not ready for that. But you need to worry about the Detroit Pistons. That's who you need to. Exactly. Because remember, we already know what's up with Kat. Remember Kat, when he was playing your Memphis Grizzlies? Juju. And you know it's not my Memphis Grizzlies. I'm just fresh. That's all it is, bruh. I just got swaver, swag plus flavor. And he was, he was like, we in Minnesota now. We in Minnesota now. And like that. That's the guy that is the piece that is adding to the New York Knicks on top of Mikal Bridges. So you have one Isaiah Stewart. Elbow to the face. Make him draw, make him bleed his own blood and then we'll see what happens. Exactly. That boy gonna cry to the locker room. Who else on the team? PJ Tucker though, he's on the list. He's the enforcer. He's the one who's gonna come in. The 20 year old kicks with the 20 year old glue and he's the James Johnson of this team. You know what it is about the PJ Tucker pickup when he come in the middle of the year? It's not the same thing as when you spent the, you know, a training camp with some young, with some young kids and stuff like that. He's. He just came and when I look at him I feel like that like you just had to collect a check. You're not ready to slap nobody. Like I need, I need somebody that's ready to slap somebody. Wait, wait, wait. Why? Why we got a Nick segment. I'm not understanding what's happening. No, don't roll out the red carpet for me. This is what I'm talking about. And if he can't come back at you because you got five teams and you're trying to act like you're a Celtic fan. You're not a Celtics man. Come on, my Celtics fan only look where the Celtic jersey. It ain't even history. It's right here behind the juju. You don't make me. Broke my wall. Look, coming down on the juju. It's up there. Broke your whoop. Hey, got me messing up. Look, you knocking down the mic, but look back to the knees, bro. Y'all got Tracy Morgan throwing up on the sideline, eating them weak ass nachos in the mad square garden, bro. Get it. Get a real. Get some real cuisine in there, bro. That's a legend. Y'all got that boy throwing up, bro. I don't like it, bro. Precious or Chua, you can tell Juju's never been underneath of msg. You know he'd never been into the Sky Mile center, the Delta Lounge, because the food's ridiculous in the Delta lounge. Are you tired of waiting on those three dots every time you text? Cello Castle over the ghetto. Speaking. Hello? Still there. Only to get ghosted when you're just trying to reach out. Well, we've got a man who loves a long phone call. Hello? Hello? Hello? Not only that he hob knobs with celebrities, but he's always got time for you. Yes, Sirski. Hello. What do you need, my friend? My friend? What do you need, my friend? Hot gossip. Do you want to talk life? Do you need some advice? You want to talk basketball? Relationship advice? Say it with your chest or get it off of your chest. You can get all that. All you need to do is call juju now. Call juju now at 650-585-8669, which spells juju now. 6,50, juju now. If you're in New Hampshire, call juju now. In Minneapolis, call juju now. On a plane, call juju now. 6,50-juju now. That's the number. Call now. Call with your questions. Call with your takes. You wanna phone a friend? Well, guess what? I can be that friend. Hello? Hello? What are you waiting for, man? What are you waiting for, woman? What are you waiting for? Family dog. Call right now. Who is the goofiest team in the NBA thus far? I have put. I got the. I got the Miami Heat, slash the Sixers. Now the Sixers, of course, we all know they spun the whole bag on Paul George podcast p. You feel me? Who just realized two weeks ago that. Wait a second. This podcast thing is A little distracting. Maybe I should put that down. Only the disco located fibula. 2. Two weeks later now he out for the season. And then the Miami Heat. I'm not sure what they thought was going on. They. They kind of put Jimmy Butler out there. They. They exposed all his bad habits. They didn't want to pay him. They said he wasn't flying to the game with the team. He flying on his private jet only to make one of the goofiest trades in the goofball history of the goofy America. Andrew Wiggins. You thought Andrew Wiggins was actually finna come back and make a difference? I don't know, bro. What y'all think? Who's y'all? Who's our choice for goofiest team in the league right now? I got Dallas. Dallas has gotta be. Dallas has gotta be number one. And it's not just, it's not just the Luca trade. Like the Luca trade is obviously really, really bad. And that's like the top of the pyramid of dumbass things that they've done this year or period. So like you trade for Luca and you say we're looking for the long term, but you trade for a guy who's literally, his nickname is skin of Paper, bones of glass, and he doesn't even make it a full game before he ends up getting injured. And now you're trying to tank and he wants to go back and play games and you're trying to shut him down. Okay, so that's that part. And then you end up trading for Quinton Grimes in the off season for Tim Hardaway Jr. And you paid four second round picks for Quentin Grimes. Now Quentin Grimes gets traded at the trade deadline and you have to give a second round pick to trade him as well. And you get Caleb Martin back. Caleb Martin's not playing no damn games. Why did they get the pick? It was such a bad trade that they actually got a second round back at the deadline because they're like, oh yeah, sorry, he's a lot more hurt than we thought. And now Quentin Grimes is playing for Philadelphia and he's putting up 40 and you can't even field a full team. And then because of the Quentin Grimes trade, you can't even sign any two way players, not even a 10 day contract, so you might end up forfeiting games. That is insane. That's some of the goofiest shit I have seen. Josh, what you think, bro? Goofiest team thus far. I'm going to agree with Trista and I'm gonna tell you and I'm gonna tell you why. You trade Luca Doncic, last year's leading scorer, last year's finals runner up. Before the finals, how was they talking about Luca like he was Michael Jordan. You're gonna trade him for Anthony Davis when you could have traded him? I would have gave him OG I'd have gave him Bridges. I'd have gave him Towns. I'd have gave him Leon Rose. I'd have gave him Patrick Ewan. Take them all. Talking about Smite. Take them all. Stephen A. This just hit my mind right quick because I see something on TV randomly. Y'all seen the baton girl who was random, and she hit the girl with the baton? Yeah. Yeah. What y'all. Did she do that on purpose or was it definitely. It was a back. She was like, oops. Oops. I can understand how you, like, can swing your arm and, you know, while a baton is in your hand, if the girl might have been too close to you, you did. She hit her twice. She hit her twice. She hit her twice. The double tap. Double tap. All right. Go coleslaw. Fry on fry. He's trying. He's trying to give her a little. Little grace. Damn. And with that being said, we gonna wrap it up, bro. Thank y'all for joining me. The Trista. Come on, bro. Round of applause for my sister, Josh. Round of applause for my brother. And that right there is the Alley oop, man. Welcome back, man. Salute to all the producers. We see you, Ms. Rebecca. We see you, Dylan. Catch us next week. Same bad time, same bad channel. Y. All right, I know I got to do this ad read, but hold on, let me reapply. Did you hear that? Yep. That's my new favorite lip gloss from Nyx Cosmetics. Now I'm ready to talk to you. I've been a huge fan of Nyx Cosmetics for many years now. In fact, I use their thick it Stick it brow gel every single day. So you can imagine my excitement when we recently received a special delivery to the Lebatard Studios from our friends over at Nyx Cosmetics. And there it was when I opened the box. Glowing. I heard the angels sing. It's their latest lip gloss, Fat oil lip drip. It's Nyx Cosmetics first lip oil of its kind. This creamy lip oil will have your lips dripping with fat perks. You get all the shine of a lip gloss and none of the stickiness while experiencing 12 hour hydration. I'm usually a matte lip gloss kind of gal. My normal go to is Nyx Cosmetics lip gloss. The lingerie XXL but after applying the status update shade, I have found my new go to lip gloss. Fat Oil Lip Drip has high shine finish with comfortable wear and none of the sticky texture. A lip product that's hydrating, non sticky and only $9. Now that's a win. Try Fat Oil Lip Drip from NYX Professional makeup. Available in 14 universally flattering shades. Find your perfect fat oil lip drip shop now@nyxcosmetics.com or a retailer near you. Wow. What's up? I just bought and financed a car through Carvana in minutes. You, the person who agonized four weeks over whether to paint your walls eggshell or off white bought and financed a car in minutes. They made it easy, transparent terms, customizable down and monthly. Didn't even have to do any paperwork. Wow. Mm. Hey, have you checked out that spreadsheet I sent you for our dinner options? Finance your car with Carvana and experience total control financing subject to credit approval hey everybody, it's Mike Ryan. And how great is this weather? We're getting out of the coldest part of winter into the early on stage spring. I know down south the weather is perfect. It is perfect Miller Time weather. You got mlb, mls, you got NHL, you got all the sports going on. Plenty of excuses to gather around a TV and have yourself a wonderful Miller Time. Thanks to Miller Light, the great tasting light beer for people like you and me who love beer. Now is a perfect time for friends, family and a great tasting light beer with tasting that you know you can depend on. No games, no gimmicks. I hate gimmicks. Just a great beer for people who like beer. Miller Lite is brewed for taste. It hits different than other light beers because it has simple ingredients like malted barley for rich balanced toffee note flavors and that iconic golden color. At just 96 calories and 3.2 grams per 12 ounces. Miller time is always a good time. The original light beer since 1975 and still the very best one. Miller Lite great taste. 96 calories. Go to millerlight.com dan to find delivery options near you. Or you can pick up some Miller Lite pretty much anywhere they sell beer. Tastes like Miller Time. Celebrate responsibly. Miller Brewing Co. Milwaukee, Wisconsin 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces. Don LeBatard I ain't never met nobody in the world that's done hate on Blues. Great nomination. Like who don't like Blues Clues? Bruh. If you don't like Blues Clues, you're a Loser St. Look, you get one paw print. That's the first clue. You put it in a notebook. Now what do you do? Blues clues. Blues clues. Sit on the chair and think about it. This is the D Levatar show with the stuff. Jessica, you've tried your damnedest to pull us off of the storyline of the day. I really do hate preview shows and God regular season basketball. But our obsession with the nonsense makes it that we like the soap opera stuff and locally, whether it's homorific. Zaslow saying we are the center of the basketball universe tonight. What was that? What was that voice? What was that? That's his voice, my voice. His regular voice. All right. He brought something from a little bit lower. I thought it had a little loiny. What I felt there, what I heard come off him was pride. Do you remember how important we were 2010 to 2014 when I was sitting in a press room and that snake Sedano was betraying me? Cuz I thought it was all over. It was us against the world. And then LeBron saved the blueprint. And we're so desperate for those times around here that you get a sniff of it in the regular season. Hey, look. A game that matters. A game that matters. That. Now Jeremy's in a lab making songs. Multiple songs. Look at the smile on his face. Pain births, creativity. Can't we acknowledge how brown my hair is in that picture? I mean, that's. Look at that. That's a young man right there. Brown, huh? You know, I'll give you. Tonight it's. The game's on tnt. I'm going to watch it as a hater and I encourage all of our fans who are so sick and fed up of. What are you rooting for, Jessica? You want him to score every time he gets a ball? 3 pointer. 3 pointer. 3.2. 32 3. 50 points. This is the last day we can do this. No shots. This is the end. As a hater, I'm going to tune in just to hate on all of you. Wonderful this. So the best result is what? Because that's for you. What is the best result for Zas? For Jerry fan, for Billy? What is the best result for Tony? Like I want to know. I want to know because I'm not going to be allowed to care like this again this regular season. We will talk about Oklahoma City and Houston and Denver, but it won't be the same. It's over. You want to hear my honest opinion? No, but it's all over. But what we're getting tonight. So Those of you, what we're getting tonight is your social media gives you five years of memories tonight. Here's the scrapbook tonight. Yeah, you want to close on the relationship. Here's what you were doing the last five years. I don't know what the Heat are going to sneak in there or subliminally. Subliminally. Good job. Digestible. God damn it. I think he. He fans want some sort of skirmish so they can feel better about themselves and be like, look, this guy was. He was so volatile. We're. We're taking the high road. We're the better people. Malice at the palace type situation. If Jimmy Butler and Duncan Robinson go at it in a little kerfuffle, I think that would be pretty awesome. I mean, best case scenario is Jimmy Butler missed the shot at the end of the game, he win, just like he did in game seven against the Celtics. Well, listen, I don't. I don't want to revisit that. That's not a good memory. Hey, you want to win a title? Go win it with the best team you had. Make the shot. I feel like the lamest thing tonight would be a kerfuffle with Dustin Robinson. Dustin. Dustin Robinson. It's okay. Dan, That's a marlin. Dan, That's a marlin. That's a shortstop. Yeah, you're right. Jonah Bride. Oh, Jonah. Third liner on the Panthers, of course. The cleanup hitter for the. Marlon. What? Jeremy, you don't get the game. Oh, wow. Jazz just walked out on the diamond. Big day. You're watching spring training baseball. I'm watching. No, no, this is. This is batting practice for spring training baseball. He literally just walked out on the field to an empty stadium. It's not open yet. Which is the song. Jeremy, do you want to. Do you want to sing about LeBron or do you want to sing about Jimmy first? You know, the LeBron stuff needs some setup. So let's just talk about the. The Jimmy Butler breakup for a second. Jimmy Butler's giving up on you he'll start to pass when he's supposed to shoot Every team knows what he's gonna When Jimmy Butler's givin up on you and he will do nothing but bawl and lead you for five years Play off runs in all Song's beautiful, but my knee can make it all fall apart at the seams Business of basketball. Jimmy Butler's giving up on you he'll start to pass when he's supposed to shoot and every team knows what he's gonna to do Jimmy Butler's giving up on you. That's a breakup song. That's sad. I don't. I don't. What is that? That's not what tonight is. Well, do you want to celebrate LeBron James? Because, Dan, I don't know if you've seen, but on TikTok right now, there's a trend where people are just making songs celebrating LeBron James. Le Pookie James, as a lot of TikTok loves to call him. Jess. Have you. Have you seen this trend? I have seen it, and I don't know where it started. Me either, but it's just a bunch of LeBron videos. Yeah. So I've just had people reaching out to me because this is all I do with the show anymore. My boys are all over this. Yeah. These. These LeBron songs. Right. So decided that, of course, since it's my job, I had to make one. Wait, what do you think about it, Zaslow? I don't like it. Yeah, well. And I didn't know where it's coming from, where they're singing these LeBron songs. What the hell's going on here, you know? Yeah. Thanks for the setup. Bron things. He is our king. He and Lakers, Cleveland Cavaliers, always. We know he'll put on a show Shooting and dunking La Pookie is winning. Say it ain't so he cannot go Never retire. We love him so much. You made that song? I did. I don't like it. Thanks. Is it just the. The subject of the song? Yeah, pretty much in the lyrics. I just. I don't like it. Do you like Blink182? No, and I don't like that song either. It's one of the most overdone things. They played at hockey games and the crowd all sings. Yeah, it's lame. That feels forced to me. Those. Like, this is going to be our song. Everybody needs to learn how to sing. Don't back down. Where did that come from all of a sudden? University of Florida loves it. Please. I don't know. I didn't like that song. Thanks. Keeping it real. Whatever. Not every song's a banger. No, I know. You're right. Yeah. No, I'm not. What'd you think? First song. A little long. First one. I thought the first song was beautiful. I mean, Ryan Cortez is crying somewhere in his room. That's every day. It's been worse the last 12 games. I mean, do you. Do you. Do you know how staggering it is? I'm sorry. I'm struggling so much. Do you know how staggering it is for me to go from what I've been saying about the heat 15 years to going to calling Bam and Hero bums the all Stars bums because of over 16 games over. That's the. The thing that's super weird about it. It's a crazy switch. So quickly I don't understand why Bam is now terrible. He's not. He's had some bad. Pretty good in that stretch. He's been really good. Pretty good. He was averaging like 25 and 12. But again, to your point, he's not good. What? No, it's. It's the. The thing that's happened with winning has just made it so clear that there's something between you guys. Tell me if I'm wrong, because you guys do check on, you know, the advanced stats and the differences in the lineups. But when Tyler heroes getting the usage rate, he's the All Star. And when Bam's getting everything that he can, he's the all Star. But they can't be all Stars at the same time if they don't have another all Star who's better than they are. That's why having Andrew Wiggins score 42 points the other night was certainly helpful. They need a third option, right? Like most sounds like they need a first option. Oh, they need a. They need a first option or they need a third who's akin to each of them, right? Like that first. That's what Wiggins is. And they'll try to acquire first option this off season. They're not going to be a championship team if they don't have a number one who's at least as good as Jimmy Butler. Right? Offensively and preferably. They'd have someone who works off of Bam and Tyler skill sets better than Jimmy Butler did. Even offensively. You know what they should do? I'll tell you what they should do. They should win the draft lottery. Wow. Good idea. Get that done. I would say Cooper Flag's not coming out this year because he wants to go back to college. Not if he get that number one zero all pick know about that culture. The biggest heat of homers there are. Billy, again with the culture. Like, what do we need to do around here to eradicate that? Like just to shock. He said culture. I didn't say culture. No, I know, but you yesterday. Yesterday and today. Look, I took the heat tonight, plus five and a half against the spread. I believe in this team. How you love that? I load up. You know what else Zaz loves the strangest of the cheeses on his Sub. Oh, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. No, no, don't tell them, don't tell them, don't tell them. Guess is strange. Wait, what kind of sub? Well, what. What would you guys say? What's the best of the cheeses on the subs? What is the. What do you mean? Anything? It depends on the flavor. Turkey. I have a favorite cheese. Cheese. And if I'm having a sub, why would I not want to have my favorite cheese on whatever sub I'm getting? So. Yes. What. What are. What are the best of the cheeses? Don't. Don't. Don't make guesses on what it is that his cheese is. Just give me what you would say are the. The hall of fame cheeses. Fresh mozzarella. When you got a nice, like, Italian sub. There's no bad cheeses. A good sandwich, also good, but incorrect. Are we doing this specifically for sandwiches or just in general? Like if I want a piece of everything. Here's the thing. I love a good Colby Jack, but that's cheating because it's two cheeses together. Colby Jack is a trash cheese. What? Yeah. You're a trash cheese. He plays for the Marlins utility infielder. Roy, you just whispered it. I don't think anybody heard you muster. Oh, yeah. Oh, I love monster cheese. That was it. Best cheese. Yeah, I like monster cheese. That's such a normal take. Okay, thank you. Like what? Thank you very much. I get my chicken tender sub. I get monster cheese. Put some monster on that baby. Dan's trying to shame me here. That, like, it's weird that I don't believe anybody. I don't. You. None of you guessed Munster as the best. Well, cuz we thought we were doing crazy cheeses. Every time I go go to Publix, I get some sweet ham and I get some monster cheese cup subs because they're used boar's head. And I'm not going to lie, I'm still a little freaked out by the whole forest. Like an entire factory. Yeah, but that was somewhere else. Which is the cheese that they like light on fire. Saganaki. That there's like giant wheels of cheese and they go with like a blowtorch and light it on fire. I don't know what I mean. And they scrape it onto your meal. Right? Yeah. That's Raclet. Yeah, I like that. The French cheese. I like it better if it were Munster. Oh, imagine a wheel of monster cheese as you light on fire. Yeah. Totally normal cheese, Dan. Thank you. I know I'm not. I I wasn't saying it's normal. I just. Well, you know me. I like the stuff with the mold on it. I have to stay away from the dairy. Well, I would. In a previous incarnation, I would, but now it's not. Now it's all alternate milks, alternative milks. I'm very sorry for. Blue cheese is disgusting. You know what else disgusting? Feta. Get the I. That is amazing. Hold on. They, they, they. So John Amici, when I went over to Greece, told me, you have to go over to this little place called Eva's Garden. And they have an incredible restaurant over there in Mykonos. And when you go over there, ask for the fried cheese with the honey on top. So it's feta cheese that they fry and then they put honey on top, shout out to John Amici. We went twice when we were there. Zaz. Would you say you're fed up with it? Well, I don't ever have it, so. No, just wait a second. So there's a pistachio milk brand that I see everywhere now, and it's called Tache. It's crazy. It's Jeremy's last name. C, H, E. They just have the accent over the A instead of the E. I've seen this for years. I accidentally, one time, because I wanted, I was like, oh, cool, it has my name on it. I'll order. And I accidentally, instead of ordering, like one carton, I ordered a case. And so I just had 12 giant cartons of pistachio milk in my fridge. It's pretty good, though. It is good. And it has my name on it. So. Hey, Tash, pistachio milk. If you're looking for a brand, no partnership. What does he do right here? I could be like, Lucy. All right, so hold on a second. Billy, Tony, please. Have at it there. Like, what is he like, what? He saw the portal camera too. It is super rare for someone to so overtly say, yes, please. I'd like to talk about myself nauseam. It's rare. It's pistachio milk too. Come on. It's pretty good. I heard there's some hubbub yesterday out in the office in some of the common areas, how, like, these alternative milks that you like are bad for the environment, Dan. Is that so? It's not that I like the alternative milks, it's that they're easier on my body than dairy. But yes, I've been told that they are not. They're not climate friendly. Well, I don't think that's true for every single Thing, I think it's almonds use a lot of water. But I think, like, oat milk apparently is very easy to make. But I don't know. Don't quote me on this. I'm not a food scientist. But also, our farming practices are not great for the environment either, so. But we're in this conundrum now with Dan, where it's like, do you care more about your body or do you care more about that? That's why Tony. I love that. Out of the side of Tony's mouth in the eating area yesterday, I heard. Or how about you just get it from a cow? What happened to cows make size? I'm with you, man. Everybody was fine all of a sudden. No, I got this thing. I'm with you. I'm gonna drink nut milk. Everybody's got allergies. Gluten bullshit. Come on. Whoa. Yeah, whatever. The gluten is not bullshit. I think kind of. I think I've said this on the show before. I think people, for their whole lives just feel bad after they eat and they don't really think about it, or they just, like, have disgusting gastrointestinal problems, and they're just fine with it. And that's okay. Like, that's your choice. If you're lactose intolerant, you still want to have ice cream. Like, that's your choice. A lot of people. My body. Oat milk. Well, zaz. You eat a slice of pie. Well, careful. This is Florida. So you got cheese, you got gluten. How do you feel after a slice of pizza? I feel fantastic. Incredible, right? Yeah. I'm not here asking, you know, is it gluten free? How do you feel an hour and a half later? I. Me, personally, I feel great. A lot of. Really, a lot of people do. Like, not everyone has the same tummy. Dan's tummy. If he had one Cheeto, he would explode. I've heard. I've heard it's really just like, here. Yeah. One Cheeto. He just. I had a black bean the other day, and it was. No way. Black bean. One snuck into something. Doesn't seem worth it. I'm not even kidding you. I had a black bean, and it was not good. I've heard if you have pasta here versus if you have pasta in, like, Italy, your body reacts completely differently. Pasta and bread in Italy is just another level. That was a real gourmet Italian connoisseur that made an appearance. Oh, he talked to John. He's right. Oh, no, no. That was in Mykonos. That was in Greece. Different place. Meg and I are totally united on thank you. Now you want to talk about mulky again or united we stand on business? On business. How did it become about multi again? Her name got brought up all of a sudden. Best dap we ever seen. Put the video back up. Isn't Malky the name? Have you not seen this? It's a good dab oat milk brand. The name hey friends, it's Jerbear here and I'm here to tell you all about Boost Mobile, which is now a legit nationwide 5G network. 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