Hour 2: The Long Midwest Goodbye (feat. Charlie Berens)

Summary

The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz

Episode: Hour 2: The Long Midwest Goodbye (feat. Charlie Berens)
Date: December 3, 2025

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Episode Overview

This hour brings together Dan Le Batard, Stugotz, the show’s ensemble, and comedian/midwest icon Charlie Berens for a blend of sports, comedy, and reflections on Midwest culture. The crew dives into college football playoff controversies, NBA trade drama surrounding Giannis Antetokounmpo, and a particularly “Midwest nice” interview with Berens—including tales from a family of 12, airport rituals, and Midwest exclamations. As always, there’s a layer of self-aware banter and irreverent takes on sports and pop culture.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. College Football Playoff Selection Drama (02:36–07:30)

• The show laments the ever-contentious and often illogical college football playoff selection process.
• Stugotz reveals Chuck Todd's gambling quirks:
  • “I never gamble on Miami games because I don't want to be doubly disappointed.” (03:22, Stugotz)
• The group reflects on hypocrisy and inconsistencies in playoff criteria, especially regarding power conferences.
  • Dan: “Everyone's upset with the process, whether you end up benefiting from it or you're the team left out. So at this point, I'm just exhausted by it.” (06:44)
• Mike Ryan recites against-the-spread records, sparking banter about college football fandoms and betting habits.

2. NBA Rumors: Giannis and the Bucks (07:35–12:28)

• Dan admits he feels “guilty” paying more attention to Giannis unfollowing the Bucks than to deeper news stories:
  • “He is now telling his 16 million followers that he has unfollowed the Bucks... My guess is that he wants to be playing somewhere else.” (07:56)
• Speculation swirls around trade possibilities, with Mike Ryan running Heat scenarios through the infamous “trade machine”:
  • “I already worked the trade machine yesterday for how the Heat... could position themselves to be a major player if a Whale becomes available.” (08:45, Mike Ryan)
• The hosts debate possible return packages, likely destinations (New York, Atlanta), and how “Midwest nice” Giannis's exit might be.
  • “I don't think this is going to be an ugly breakup. So because of what he has done for the franchise, I think his preference is going to play a major role.” (12:16, Mike Ryan)

3. The Lane Kiffin Ole Miss Departure (12:28–22:00)

• The group analyzes the messy departure of Lane Kiffin from Ole Miss, focusing on accusations of lying to players about his intentions.
• Players like Suntarrine Perkins and Bryson Sanders publicly contradict Kiffin’s narrative:
  • “That was not the message you said in the meeting room. Everybody that was in there can vouch on this.” (19:25, relayed by Mike Ryan)
• Reflection on whether there is any “right way” to leave a successful program in playoff contention:
  • Jeremy: “I don't think there is at this with this timing. But he picked the wrong way by apparently lying about whether or not Ole Miss players wanted him to stay and coach.” (13:14)

4. Comedian Charlie Berens Joins the Show (22:38–43:15)

• Charlie Berens enters in signature Midwestern denial about Giannis possibly leaving Milwaukee:
  • “Oh, you know, that was just an accident... I’m pretty sure he's going to be there for a while. Yeah, I'm confident in that. So you guys mark my words right here.” (22:38)
• He shares travel and airport observations:
  • “I like getting to the airport early and just watching people run. It's like the most therapeutic thing for me.” (23:13)
• Berens discusses growing up as 2nd oldest of 12 children:
  • “You always have someone on your side. You always have allies and enemies, you know, and it changes by the day...” (24:40)
  • “My brother, he got left at his own baptism. He's number three...” (25:12)
• Reflections on fitting in across America’s regions:
  • “Miami Beach. Holy smokes. That is way different than south beach of Lake Michigan...But people are very nice, actually.” (28:09)
• Midwest exclamations ranked (36:44–39:04):
  • Stugotz asks Berens to rank phrases like “For Pete’s sake” and “Heavens to Betsy” by anger level.
  • Berens: “‘For crying out loud, that’s a lead-up...that’s the jab before the cross’” (38:44)
• On being a people pleaser:
  • “Needing everyone to like you. That’s terrible...you walk around, you're like, who even am I?” (40:12)
  • “We haven’t cried since the 80's when we were babies, man. We don't know what emotion is. We just shove it deep, deep down inside and then we go bowl.” (41:48)

5. Chris Paul’s Unceremonious Clippers Exit (44:15–46:14)

• The hosts criticize how the Clippers handled Chris Paul’s abrupt send-off during his announced retirement year.
  • “I don't think this is the way that epic retirement tours are supposed to go...He was great last year...and in the middle of the night, the Clippers just sent him home.” (44:15, Dan)
• Mike Ryan suspects there’s more behind-the-scenes:
  • “They didn’t waive him, they didn’t trade him. They actually sent him home...It’s pretty obvious. They just do it on a whim, like something happened.” (45:21)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Dan Le Batard on CFB Playoff fatigue:

  • “Everyone's upset with the process, whether you end up benefiting from it or you're the team left out. So at this point, I'm just exhausted by it.” (06:44)

• Charlie Berens on Midwest emotional repression:

  • “We haven’t cried since the 80's when we were babies, man...We just shove it deep, deep down inside and then we go bowl.” (41:48)

• Berens on the airport experience:

  • “I like getting to the airport early and just watching people run. It's like the most therapeutic thing for me.” (23:13)

• On being the 2nd of 12 siblings:

  • “You don't want to be first because that's the guy who gets all the heat, you know. Second, you can kind of slip right under the—they don't even know you're alive, to be honest with you.” (25:01)

• Midwest Exclamation Ranking (39:04):

  • “For crying out loud, that's a lead up...that's like a one, two punch, you know, that's the jab before the cross.” (38:44, Charlie Berens)

• On people-pleasing:

  • “Needing everyone to like you. That's terrible...you walk around, you're like, who even am I?” (40:12, Charlie Berens)

• Charlie Berens on fitting in Miami:

  • “There is a lot more, you know, plastic surgery down in that neck of the woods…Here [Wisconsin] we don’t get plastic surgery because honestly, I want to be dead before February.” (29:12)

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Timestamps of Notable Segments

• Gambling Banter and Playoff Arguments: 02:36–07:30
• NBA Trade Machine and Giannis Speculation: 07:35–12:28
• Lane Kiffin Ole Miss Fallout: 12:28–22:00, 19:04 (players calling out Lane)
• Charlie Berens’ Entrance, Midwest Life, and Exclamations: 22:38–43:38
• Clippers’ Chris Paul Exit and Speculation: 44:15–46:14

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Episode Tone & Style

• Loose, irreverent, rapid-fire banter
• Frequent jokes, playful sarcasm, and willingness to poke fun at themselves and guests
• Midwest warmth from Charlie Berens, seamlessly blending in with the show’s idiosyncratic flavor

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For Listeners Who Missed the Episode

This episode is a must for fans of both sports and comedy. The crew's deep dives into the absurdities of college football politics, NBA player drama, and the quirks of Midwest culture (courtesy of Charlie Berens) offer a sharp, funny—and at times surprisingly heartfelt—view into the worlds of sports and stand-up. The lighthearted ranking of Midwest exclamations and Berens's stories from an oversized family round out an hour of classic Le Batard Show unpredictability.

Transcript

[Dan Le Batard]

All right, Smirnoff. Official vodka of the NFL. World's number one vodka. Chris, Cody, you're with me here.

[Mike Ryan]

Smirnoff.

[Dan Le Batard]

Wow, you're on the money with Smirnoff.

[Stugotz]

Smirnoff.

[Dan Le Batard]

I'm gonna ask you, Chris, what's your favorite game day food?

[Charlie Barrons]

Smirnoff.

[Dan Le Batard]

That's your favorite game day drink. What's your favorite game day food?

[Charlie Barrons]

Smirnoff.

[Dan Le Batard]

All right, here's the deal. Game day is everything. The noise, the rituals, the passion, the dip, the wings, the dip again.

[Charlie Barrons]

Smirnoff.

[Dan Le Batard]

Smirnoff belongs in that mix. Because if you're tailgating or hosting or just sitting there checking your fantasy lineup every 30 seconds, you need Smirnoff. Otherwise, it's not a real game day. They've been doing it since 1864, which is. I don't even want to do the math. It's a long time. It's like when Greg Cody was born. They're award winning, they make cocktails super easy, and they're all about bringing fans together. So, yeah, we do game days. That's their thing. And if you're over 21, you should, too. Why, Chris?

[Charlie Barrons]

Smirnoff.

[Dan Le Batard]

Grab a bottle of Smirnoff at your local retailer and head to smirnoff.com to find recipes of delicious cocktails perfect for game day.

[Charlie Barrons]

Smirnoff.

[Dan Le Batard]

Please drink responsibly.

[Charlie Barrons]

Smirnoff.

[Dan Le Batard]

Number 21, vodka distilled from grain, 40% alcohol by volume. The Smirnoff Company, New York, New York. Please do not share with anyone under legal drinking age. Me?

[Charlie Barrons]

No.

[Greg Cody]

Now's a good time to remember where tequila's story truly began. In 1795, Cuervo invented tequila. Cuervo, what are you doing here?

[Stugotz]

Cuervo. Anytime someone says Cuervo, I show up.

[Greg Cody]

Well, I do know that to be true. But even during ad reads like Cuervo, I think he could lay out, especially.

[Stugotz]

For one of our great partners, sweet, delicious Cuervo.

[Greg Cody]

Since then, Cuervo has stayed true to its roots. The same family, the same land, the same passion.

[Stugotz]

Cuervo.

[Greg Cody]

So enjoy the tequila that started it all. Cuervo.

[Stugotz]

Cuervo.

[Greg Cody]

The tequila that invented tequila.

[Dan Le Batard]

Proximo.

[Greg Cody]

Cuervo.com, please drink responsibly.

[Stugotz]

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We learn all sorts of stuff we did not know on south beach sessions. And this week, Chuck Todd is on the show and I did not realize that he's somebody who just loves to gamble. He is a gambler, a big gambler. He also fancies him a cook and has taken the challenge of will cook against Greg Cody. If Greg Cody is willing to unretire because he's been complaining that all our cooking competitions are fixed right? And that he's never won one, even though he is a very good cook and he cares about it. And I will say it honestly, he's great at cooking, but he's lost all the cooking competitions around here.

[Charlie Barrons]

And Chuck Todd, that's fun.

[Stugotz]

Roy didn't want a rematch, but Chuck Todd says he makes a good turkey. Let's play one clip that you guys. You guys didn't know he was a gambler though now. But he's got a rule when it comes to gambling that I did not know. I will say this. I never gamble on Miami games because I don't want to be doubly disappointed. Really.

[Charlie Barrons]

Okay.

[Stugotz]

I never gamble on Hurricane games and I refuse to do it. Will never do it, no matter how tempting, no matter how confident I am and how poorly our coach will cover spreads or anything like that. But I won't gamble on my. I wish I had. I just. That's the only one, though. That's your only sacred cow, the University of Miami. The only one. Yeah. The only sacred cow. Lest you think it's a bit with Mike Ryan, he just whispered in my ear. Annoyingly, I couldn't even hear what was happening that Chuck Todd was saying because he's like Miami 7 and 5 against the spread. Notre Dame 6 and 6.

[Greg Cody]

And also, I know why Dan likes Texas Tech so much because they're 11 and one against the spread.

[Stugotz]

Ah, crush everybody.

[Greg Cody]

That's his team.

[Stugotz]

Crush everybody.

[Greg Cody]

I love my moneymakers too.

[Dan Le Batard]

Can't wait for BYU to beat him.

[Stugotz]

I think the only one is when they were playing with their backup quarterback. I think that's the only time. I mean, they've been beating everybody else up.

[Dan Le Batard]

What if BYU wins, Alabama loses and.

[Charlie Barrons]

Then Miami gets in over Alabama?

[Greg Cody]

I don't think that's happening.

[Stugotz]

If Alabama loses a close game, they're still going to get in. I heard Colin Cowherd say yesterday that Alabama's victory at Athens is worth three victories and I think we should just make it up. Got to be two because we're already making it up.

[Dan Le Batard]

We'd all agree on 2.

[Greg Cody]

Notre Dame fans have reason to be upset. There was nothing more confounding than hearing Hunter Jureczyk say, like that win at 5 and 7 Auburn, that was really impressive how they went for it on fourth down over there last year. Miami, it was held against them. And I agree that they were in these close games against lesser competition. Alabama hasn't played good football for a month. They're just getting it over the line, needing trick plays and ballsy decisions.

[Stugotz]

Lot of fourth downs. They've been saved by two. Fourth down.

[Greg Cody]

Anytime Coleman touched a football football in that game, it was a disaster.

[Charlie Barrons]

So did we.

[Greg Cody]

I don't understand. Like what?

[Dan Le Batard]

Like, because they beat five.

[Greg Cody]

They barely beat five and seven. Auburn, now we're moving them up.

[Stugotz]

Jeremy, the floor is yours. Mike, don't interrupt him. You've been frustrated for about 10 straight days because you can't get a word in around Mike's elbows and teeth and general obnoxiousness.

[Dan Le Batard]

Well, the so did we sound bite says everything I need to like, it's just that and that as well. That's how I feel listening to all of this. Because the same arguments that get made on behalf of Miami don't apply to anybody else. And it's understandable. I. I have done the same thing. Except of course, when I've argued, it's been because my team's won all of their games and not dropped two of them. It is for by like BYU is the one that's really getting to me because the whole argument for everyone over the last decade when it comes to the College Football Playoff is like, well, you're not part of the Power 5, so you don't matter. And now you have a team that worked their way to become a part of that conference that only has one loss and earned their way to their conference championship and is being told, hey, if you lose to the team that we already saw you lose to, we know who you are. You're not as good as that team that is one of the top four teams in the country. If you lose to them again, well, that's it. You're gone. For a team that didn't make it to their conference championship, you know, because 7 and 5 Duke could and it you know, Notre Dame doesn't play in a conference. Like, there's all of these examples. It's upsetting. It's the process. Everyone's upset with the process, whether you end up benefiting from it or you're the team left out. So at this point, I'm just exhausted by it.

[Stugotz]

Mike, everyone is the audience as well. Mike, do you have a rebuttal?

[Greg Cody]

I wasn't listening.

[Dan Le Batard]

Yep.

[Stugotz]

One of the things I do believe I can get the audience attention with, even though it is something that really does, it does mess with me to see what's become of sports journalism content. Because today, Pablo Torre finds out again has another story. It's Epstein file related, though it's not the Epstein News.

[Mike Ryan]

I saw clips of that last night.

[Jeremy]

Whoa.

[Stugotz]

Yeah. Pablo does it again today with something that came out at 5 o' clock yesterday. And I urge you to watch it and listen to it because it is very thorough. As I see Pablo doing this incredible journalism, I myself feel guilty that I'm more interested in Giannis all of a sudden blocking the Milwaukee Bucks on social media, which is now telegraphing, this is the move now. When you do this on social media, you are passive aggressively telling everyone, I am done with my team. He is now telling his 16 million followers that he has unfollowed the Bucks. The Bucks are pretty bad this year. He's been good. They're still bad. My guess is that he wants to be playing somewhere else. And the time has run out for the Milwaukee Bucks. That Miles Turner acquisition isn't going to keep him here any more. Any more than that. Shabazz Napier draft Pick is keeping LeBron James in Miami in 2014.

[Mike Ryan]

It's starting, Dan. You know, coming up mid December is when everyone becomes available to be traded. All right, this is not a coincidence. This timing, it's all starting. I've already. Last night, I already worked the trade machine. I don't know if anyone else has done that. I already worked the trade machine yesterday for how the Heat, this young overachieving team with a bunch of assets and positioning themselves to be a major player.

[Jeremy]

If.

[Mike Ryan]

If a Whale becomes available, it looks like it's all starting.

[Stugotz]

He's going to become available. That part, that part's obvious is Milwaukee's not good enough. And he already was tapping his wrist on his wristwatch telling Milwaukee that means.

[Mike Ryan]

It'S time run out of time.

[Stugotz]

I mean, they have run out of time. They're not any good. Milwaukee's not 9 and 13. Milwaukee is not a player. And a player for the championship. And that fall has been pretty precipitous since they won the championship. I thought in those finals, Giannis's career was over. I thought he landed on the court and he destroyed his knee and he would never play again.

[Mike Ryan]

Instead, he had one of the all time greatest finals.

[Stugotz]

That is correct. He won the championship, but since then, it's been nothing but decline. And he's still great, indisputably great, and anybody would want him. It's been a failure that they have not put around him what it is that he needs to get better.

[Jeremy]

So what does the trade machine show you?

[Mike Ryan]

Well, it's not what the trade machine shows me. It's what I decide to put in the trade machine. The trade machine is only a mechanism. Greg, have you ever used the trade machine?

[Jeremy]

I have. Just for laughs.

[Mike Ryan]

It's only.

[Charlie Barrons]

I don't believe you.

[Jeremy]

No, I have.

[Mike Ryan]

How does it work?

[Stugotz]

Yeah.

[Jeremy]

Yo, you put in the names and it spits out whether the salaries work and, you know, all that kind of bullshit. Don't believe it.

[Stugotz]

Barely. Don't use the Internet.

[Jeremy]

But what you're doing is you're setting up Heat fans to be disappointed again because they're. They're. They're. Their track record on getting whales is not great.

[Charlie Barrons]

So now we don't even go after.

[Dan Le Batard]

Them, is what you're saying.

[Charlie Barrons]

No, we should give up on even wanting them.

[Jeremy]

No, what I'm saying is who would you get? Who can the Heat trade?

[Mike Ryan]

Glad you asked. Glad you asked. We'll give you Jovic. That's number one. All right.

[Stugotz]

Oh, come on. What you got to do better?

[Mike Ryan]

Just a starting point. Khalil.

[Dan Le Batard]

Where's.

[Mike Ryan]

Obviously, this will give you Khalil. Where?

[Charlie Barrons]

Okay.

[Amin]

Yep.

[Mike Ryan]

You got to give. Where? All right. Gotta give something to get something. All right. Jovic. Where? Hero. He's from Milwaukee. And Hero, he's from Milwaukee. You like him? You gotta give something to get something. You gotta give. You gotta give Wiggins, because you got to make the salaries work.

[Charlie Barrons]

If I'm giving here, I'm not giving Jaime.

[Dan Le Batard]

Not doing it.

[Mike Ryan]

I'm not giving Jaime either. It's Hero. Wiggins, you pick one.

[Dan Le Batard]

Jaime or Hero.

[Mike Ryan]

Where? Who is the first one said Jovic. And all the draft picks you want.

[Dan Le Batard]

For what it's worth, if you included all of that, you would need to take some other salary back as well. Probably Kyle Kuzma.

[Mike Ryan]

We'd be giving them too much.

[Charlie Barrons]

That's how much Wiggins makes.

[Dan Le Batard]

Well, it's a good. It's actually a really good salary, considering the type of season he's having, you could include Simone Fontechio instead of Wiggins and that gets it done.

[Mike Ryan]

Okay.

[Stugotz]

There are plenty of teams that will be interested in this. I would assume the New York Knicks among them because the Knicks are not good enough like that with, well, Carl Anthony Town.

[Dan Le Batard]

I'd assume that the Hawks would be really an interesting place as well, because Jalen Daniels seems to be the guy that like or Jalen Johnson rather the guy that they want to.

[Mike Ryan]

Wouldn't they also trade Young in that spot?

[Dan Le Batard]

Well, they would. They would trade Trey Young. They'd probably trade Kristaps Porzingis a couple of picks. But if you're Milwaukee and you're looking to build around something, it depends on how you value a guy like Trey Young or whatever his salary number is. Well, versus a guy like Tyler.

[Stugotz]

He's not going to want to go to Atlanta. New York is going to be interesting to him, honestly, isn't going to want to go to Atlanta.

[Mike Ryan]

That's the point, right? Because I don't think this is going to be an ugly breakup. So because of what he has done for the franchise, I think his preference is going to play a major role.

[Stugotz]

Charlie Barron's is going to join us. The comedian and slash journalist is going to join us. He's got a tour that's rolling through South Florida. He will be here in a few minutes. But I wanted to get Greg Cody's thoughts on an assortment of things, including Mississippi's players saying that Kiffin lied to them, that Lane Kiffin lied to them. I've heard a number of people say over the course of the last few days to justify their outrage, that they totally understand why Lane Kiffin would go. They just don't like how he did it. And I'm just curious if there is an actual right way to do that to Mississippi. This may be the worst way, but is there a right way to do that? When Mississippi is having its best season ever, is in the playoffs, is there a right way to leave?

[Jeremy]

I don't think there is at this with this timing. But he picked the wrong way by apparently lying about whether or not Ole Miss players wanted him to stay and coach. And now he's leaving a trail of people, of players calling him a liar. We never discussed that. That never. That never came up in our locker room. And now the athletic director basically bouncing him out the door and saying, hey, here's the door, get out of here. We don't want you to coach. That's more explicable, right now because apparently that's the truth based on everything that's come out bad. Look for Lane Kiffin, not the leaving, but the leaving a trail of people going, what we never wanted him.

[Mike Ryan]

Is there someone who cares less about.

[Jeremy]

The look though he turned his back on us. We don't want him coaching our team in the playoffs.

[Greg Cody]

Are you saying that you have a problem because he never actually told the players that he wanted to coach them. I don't know how that would come up in a meeting. He wasn't even allowed to be.

[Jeremy]

He said that in the text when he left.

[Greg Cody]

He did. He. He did want to coach them. He did want to coach in the cfp. He wasn't allowed to, but they didn't.

[Jeremy]

The players didn't want him.

[Charlie Barrons]

But I think when did Lane say.

[Dan Le Batard]

These guys want me to coach?

[Charlie Barrons]

I think is what we're statement.

[Stugotz]

What are the players saying that he lied about? Because I really do believe as I say this, like I've really heard so many people do this. So many people. I don't have a problem with him leaving because anybody can understand going to take a better job. I have a problem with the way that he did it. And I just really don't think that there's a way for him to do it that would have been correct with this is the timing.

[Greg Cody]

I think for Lane this wasn't that bad given his history. And also there is a worse way to do it. It's how Nick Saban did it, which is say that you're not leaving. And everybody knew this was always the case with Lane Kiffin. When they hired him, they kind of knew that this day might come. They're just really upset about the timing of it because they're having what might be their greatest season ever as a program.

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[Amin]

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[Greg Cody]

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[Dan Le Batard]

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[Stugotz]

Don LeBatard.

[Mike Ryan]

John, can you rate my Al Pacino from that billiard scene in Carlito's Way? If I do it for you? I think it's pretty good.

[Dan Le Batard]

Yeah.

[Stugotz]

Okay, Stugarts, you think you're big time?

Are you going to die big time?

[Dan Le Batard]

That is on my infamous scale of 1 to 10.

[Stugotz]

That's a.

[Charlie Barrons]

That's a 7.6 solid.

[Stugotz]

Good job.

[Dan Le Batard]

Good job.

[Greg Cody]

That's a suey nominee right there.

[Stugotz]

This is the Dan Levatar show with the stugats.

[Mike Ryan]

So there's at least two instances here where current players are saying Lane lied to them. This player is named Suntarrine Perkins, and he responded to Lane Kiffin's tweet with his statement. You know, where he's talking about, I wanted. I'm leaving, but I wanted to coach a team and you know, the athletic director wouldn't allow me. And he responds to that with, that was not the message you said in the meeting room. Everybody that was in there can vouch on this. And another player, Bryson Sanders, an offensive lineman, he tweeted out to that statement as well, quote, despite the team asking me to keep coaching, end quote. And he responds with, I think everyone that was in that room would disagree.

[Jeremy]

Right. So it's a bad look for Kiffin from every angle. And the other thing about upward mobility when he's at an fau, everybody understands he's taken a step up. He wants out of there, and they justify it. But Ole Miss, coming off the season they just had, that's pretty much. That's pretty close to the top. Like, you know, he could have made a career decision saying, I'm where I want to be right now. Look what we've just done. And he didn't. He's still upwardly mobile, still chasing.

[Stugotz]

And isn't that what we're all doing at work?

[Jeremy]

And I can see why Ole Miss players are upset.

[Stugotz]

Yeah, but they're going to feel betrayed just by his leaving. There's no way for them not to be upset like him leaving. If we're just talking about James Franklin leaves and takes all his recruits with him. If we're just talking about the coach now matters more than the program. Of course they're going to feel betrayed. Coach, I thought we were in this together. I thought we were all doing this. I. I thought the promise was Coach, if we tried our hardest, you'd help us win the championship. You'd help us win games till the very end. They're all going to feel betrayed. There's no. How does he go about making them not feel betrayed while betraying them by.

[Jeremy]

Stay by not making his decision until after the playoffs.

[Stugotz]

No, you can't do that. You can't because the two teams that you've got the chance with LSU and Florida moving off of the job you want, yet they can move off of you to another candidate.

[Jeremy]

That's where you make a back channel arrangement.

[Dan Le Batard]

Whisper deal.

[Stugotz]

I'm sure there plenty of back channel whispering that was going on here. National signing day is today the decision your next job and how successful you're going to be in that. Upward mobility starts today. It's not in a month.

[Mike Ryan]

I don't think the players there are accusing him. There are upset that he left and the timing of it. They're accusing him of lying about what took place in their final meeting.

[Greg Cody]

I mean, there was mixed messaging even in those two. I couldn't really follow. I. Lane wanted to stay. This is a fact. I don't you want to get into his intentions and not trust him. Lane wanted to stay. Now, was it for the kids? Was it for a CFP opportunity? Was it for the money? I don't know that. Like, I'm sure all three of those things happened. But I also understand Ole Miss saying, get the hell out of here.

[Stugotz]

Once he leaves, it feels like a lie. Like all of it. Just him leaving is the lie. Regardless, Charlie Barrons is here. He's a comedian, bestselling author and Emmy winning journalist. He's bringing his Midwest nice tour to South Florida this weekend. He is currently on the Lost and Found tour. So before I get to everything with him, let's bring him in as, you know, a Milwaukee guy. Giannis unfollowing the Bucks on Instagram. Are you prepared? Welcome to the show, Charlie. It's nice to see you. Are you prepared for Giannis leaving you and will Milwaukee be Midwest nice about this?

[Charlie Barrons]

Oh, you know, that was just an accident, honestly, you know, someone just accidentally went to all those channels and deleted that. I'm pretty sure he's going to be there for a while. Yeah, I'm confident in that. So you guys mark my words right here.

[Stugotz]

All right, so you're in full fledged denial right now. You're. You're still thinking? Yeah. Okay, good.

[Dan Le Batard]

Yep.

[Charlie Barrons]

I've just been stress eating casseroles ever since. But, you know, that's okay. That's how we handle things.

[Stugotz]

How is the tour going? Are you enjoying yourself? Do you enjoy the grind and travel of the tour?

[Charlie Barrons]

You know, yeah, I've been having fun with it. I like going to different places. I like getting to the airport early and just watching people run. That's my favorite thing. It's like the most therapeutic thing for me, just watching people run through the airport. And there are some fast people out there. That's what you guys got to remember. This other time, I saw this guy practicing his flute in this little cove while people were running past him. It was. I wanted to take a video of it, but I didn't want to disturb the moment. It was beautiful.

[Stugotz]

It's a good point he brings up. Put it on the poll, please. Juju at Lebitard show. Do you enjoy watching people run through the airport in a total?

[Dan Le Batard]

When you're there on time and you.

[Charlie Barrons]

Just know that they're not, it's great.

[Jeremy]

Yeah, yeah, super.

[Charlie Barrons]

You got to be there on time. Otherwise it's chaotic. But if you're there on time, it's like sitting at the top of a skyscraper and watching rush hour traffic. There's something peaceful about it. But if you're late, it's a whole different story. And you just resent everybody looking at you as you're racing to get to your airport.

[Stugotz]

When is the last time you ran through. Have you sprinted through the airport with a bag recently?

[Charlie Barrons]

Oh, two days ago. Yeah. I mean, it's terrible. I resented everybody looking at me, but when I'm not doing it, I'm just enjoying the moment. And that's why you should get to the airport early, guys.

[Stugotz]

Thank you. Put it on the poll at Lebatard show. Is that why you should get. Get to the airport early, guys? I had not realized until reading about you that you were one of 12 children. That sounds like total chaos. Oh, yeah.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yep. No, I grew up mass produced and it was a lot of fun, to be honest with you. I mean, the nice thing about when. When you got that many kids is like, you always have someone on your side. You always have allies and enemies, you know, and it changes by the day, but you always have someone to go into a fight with you.

[Mike Ryan]

What number were you?

[Charlie Barrons]

Second oldest. So two or 12. One of six. That's a good spot. That's a good spot. You don't want to be like, fourth. You don't want to be fourth because then you got middle child syndrome. You don't want to be first because that's like, that's the guy who gets all the heat, you know. Second, you can kind of slip right under the. They don't even know you're alive, to be honest with you. And my brother, he got left at his own baptism. He's number three, so it's not at that point, but.

[Mike Ryan]

Okay, so your second oldest, so like you were there for most of your siblings arriving. Did it ever get to a point where your parents told you, hey, you know, pregnant again. You're like, oh, enough of this shit.

[Charlie Barrons]

Oh, yeah, yeah. No, we would do it prayer time every night, you know, we would say this how my mom would announce it. She go, God bless Andy, Charlie, Billy, Betsy, Maggie, Addie, Mary Kate, John. And. And when my mom said. And me and my siblings were just looking at each other like, how are they still doing it? You know, where they find the time. Is this why we're in ccd? You know? But yeah, you know, it got to a point. But it's all fun now because now the kids are having kids and Christmas is super fun because you got all these kids around and they'll distract you from your problems real quick, you know, because they'll, they'll just run into a room and just headbutt you right in the pecker. And then you can't think about your own issues, you know, how does this end up working?

[Stugotz]

Explain to us what is the unknown chaos involved with growing up in a house. You say it was fun with 12 kids.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah, it's fun. I mean, well, there's. First of all, you got your own. Like we had like two basketball teams at any given time, you know what I mean? With subscribers. We had like a full offensive part of a football. I mean, we could play any sport, you know, and my dad had his own construction crew, you know, so we always had work to do. We had sports to play, we had bikes to ride. I mean, and sometimes, you know, someone will bring a bike inside, try to go down the stairs, and then you have entertainment. So it's like an all in one thing.

[Mike Ryan]

But your family, your family must never have been invited to like other families houses because, oh, you know, we're inviting the Barons. You know, they got 12 kids.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah, that's a good call because as soon as we get there, we create a whole other party. I mean, you got to think to a different financial level of food that you got to provide. So, you know, we were just non eaters is kind of how that went. You know, it's like, you don't need to feed them, they've been fed. You know, it's. It's like. Like when you bring your cattle over to, you know, the vets farm and you're like, don't worry, they just got fed. That's a terrible analogy. But it just kind of came out, so it doesn't even make sense. But that's why I got my friends at a farmer. He's like, the hell was that cattle analogy? I don't know. I was riffing. But anyways, we've been fed is what I'm trying to tell you.

[Stugotz]

Where do you go in America where you feel most like you fit in and least like you fit in as you tour and have you done much in south florid Florida?

[Charlie Barrons]

So, yeah, I mean, speaking of where you least fit in, you guys, Miami Beach. Holy smokes. That is way different than south beach of Lake Michigan, I'll tell you that much. Yeah, you guys, you guys do it fun down there. It's great. But yeah, it's a different world. Although people are very nice, actually. I've noticed that. So I do like that about that area of the country you're in, but I think. What's that?

[Stugotz]

He said kick save. And a beauty that you said the people were nice.

[Greg Cody]

All of us looked a little. I was actually upset we're not nice to him.

[Stugotz]

Right before that on here, you just sort of. You were riffing again and I thought you were gonna make another cattle.

[Greg Cody]

I hate that people were nice.

[Charlie Barrons]

There was some. There was someone that was nice to me. But now that I'm. Now that you guys are acting like that, I'm starting to think that maybe they weren't nice. They told me I had nice driving.

And so maybe they said like, nice driving and I didn't hear. You know, I don't know if I can say what I asshole at the end. Okay, you can say asshole.

[Dan Le Batard]

Yeah.

[Charlie Barrons]

Nice driving. Ass. I wasn't sure. I didn't know the rules. I didn't know if this was on the air. You can say ass, but once you add the hole, it's a whole different story. So anyways, yeah, and. And there is a lot more, you know, plastic surgery down in that neck of the woods, and we don't have much of that up in Wisconsin because, like, you know, when you live somewhere beautiful, you're like, I want to live forever. You know, here we don't get plastic surgery because it's like, you know, honestly, I want to be dead before February, but it's a different kind of. Different kind of thing, you know?

[Stugotz]

But you don't fit in down here. Correct. You don't fit in. Is. Is the answer to my question or.

[Charlie Barrons]

It didn't sound like a question. It just sounded like a statement. So I'm now hip to how you guys speak. And, yeah, I've recanted my earlier phrase, so I don't even know if that word works, but we'll roll with it.

[Greg Cody]

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[Dan Le Batard]

Where.

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[Stugotz]

Hey, Amin here. And the NBA on Prime is back this Friday with another great doubleheader. The action starts with one of the best rivalries in sports as Luka Doncic and the Los Angeles Lakers face Jaylen Brown and the Boston Celtics. Then Cooper Flag and the Dallas Mavericks meet SGA and the Oklahoma City Thunder. And if you're not a Prime member, that's not a problem. Sign up for a 30 day free trial to get started today. The Lakers and Celtics, the Mavericks and Thunder coverage starts Friday at 6:30pm Eastern only on Prime. Restrictions apply. See Amazon.com Amazon prime for details. Don LeBatard what is the worst part of the life? Stugats.

[Dan Le Batard]

The worst part of the life of what?

[Stugotz]

This is the Dan Levatar show with the Stugats.

His new special neighborly is out. Now what are you proud of or what do you like? How, how would you sell that to our audience as something they need to be watching?

[Charlie Barrons]

Well, it's a lot better than my driving. It is. And neighborly it's all about we talk about, you know, being from a big family, I go gambling with my grandma. We got stories about that. And you know, it's about life through a Midwest guy's perspective. So I think anyone can relate to it. There is a little casserole talk in there. I know that'll sell them hard down down in the neck of the woods. But you know, you think you enjoy. We riff on the whole technology situation with, you know, so if you're in, you know, have some thoughts on the, on the whole AI part of the world. We got a little bit on that so there's a little bit something for everyone in there.

[Stugotz]

Well, go ahead and tell us about gambling with your grandmother.

[Charlie Barrons]

Oh, it's fantastic, you guys. I mean, if you've ever been first of all, I take my grandma and her gals down to the casino and the thing about gambling with those, each one of them has an entire pharmacy in their purse. All right? So, I mean, you're ready to have some fun. And you got to be careful driving, because if you get pulled over, you got more drugs in that Rev4 than a motley Crue tour bus. But when you get them there safely, and then you get to collect, you know, a little pill tax. And I don't know if you guys have popped to Thursday, but if you pop Grandma's Thursday, you're going to get thin blood and minor hallucinations. It's great. Just be careful, okay? Don't go popping Grandpa's Friday, because then you might be walking around the casino with a full deck, and that's not. That's not preferred. But anyways. Yeah, no, it's fun, but gambling with your grandma, I mean, it's hard to find them. You know, if you tried finding a senior citizen casino, good luck. I mean, they hide in the lights, and they only find you if they want to be found, so. No, but we go on a pretty regular basis. She calls me up and, you know, we got to go to the casino. On the way back, we take our winnings and we put it in the Powerball. So it's part of a larger investment portfolio that we have here.

[Stugotz]

Do you believe your grandma has a gambling problem?

[Charlie Barrons]

Well, she doesn't say it's a problem at all because she's using other people's money. And if you're investing other people's money, it's not a problem. Like I said, it's part of an overall investment strategy. Unfortunately, the other person's money is mine. And so I really need people to buy tickets when I come into town. You guys, I am in financial ruin. But I would appreciate that you can.

[Stugotz]

Get tour dates and tickets by going to charliebarrons.com and I did mention, but I didn't say where. Right. Parker Playhouse in Fort Lauderdale tomorrow night and Tampa Theater, December 5th. The special is neighborly. It is out now. And the YouTube channel is Arlie Barrons. I'd like for you to rank for me these exclamations, if you don't mind, from the Midwest, however it is that you think the nastiest of the exclamations is versus the least nasty. So we will start with the nastiest, and I'll just give you seven of them. Are you ready?

[Charlie Barrons]

I'm ready.

[Stugotz]

For crying out loud. Holy smokes. I don't know if you have a pen there or a hotel pen. Cause I'm gonna give you a bunch of these. I'm Put you to work here. Yes. For crying out loud. Holy smokes. Hold your horses. Heavens to Betsy.

[Greg Cody]

Okay, like, how is he supposed to write it. Them down and then go even fast crazy?

[Charlie Barrons]

I'm at Heavens to bet.

[Stugotz]

He's. He's. He's a comedian. He's professionally fast.

[Mike Ryan]

Clearly typing.

[Stugotz]

Oh, my word. For Pete's sake. Or for heaven's sake. You can rank these however you want. I'll give them to you again in a different order this time. Confuse you more. Yes, for heaven's sake. For Pete's sake. Oh, my word. Heavens to Betsy. Hold your horses. Holy smokes. For crying out loud.

[Charlie Barrons]

Okay, fantastic. All right, so I'm gonna. Most of these, if they're said with anger, they're coming from the Midwest, Dad. His point of view. So, you know, you gotta kind of get in that phrase. So let me just try a couple of these on for size. For crying out loud. Get your ass down. Okay. I feel like I got it. I got the tenor. Okay, so we're going with. Do we start. Is one like the most. Most pissed off.

[Stugotz]

Actually, we'll give you fanfare so that we can get to the most pissed off. And thank you for playing along. So start with the least. The. This is the least angry a Midwest person is if they exclaim this at you.

[Charlie Barrons]

Okay. It's going. Oh, my word.

Did I win?

[Stugotz]

Well, that's you.

[Charlie Barrons]

We're gonna lay out the fanfare. Just do your list. Okay. I like that, though. Oh, my word.

[Amin]

Okay.

[Stugotz]

Okay.

[Charlie Barrons]

Heavens to Betsy. Holds.

Okay, this one gets tough. This one gets tough. For heaven's sakes. For Pete sakes, hold your horses. Holy smokes. Holy smokes. Should have been lower. I screwed the pooch on that one. Don't worry about.

[Stugotz]

And then.

[Charlie Barrons]

For crying out loud. But for crying out loud, that's a lead up. That's an introductory clause. And you're about to. Yeah, that's like a. That's like a one, two punch, you know, that's the jab before the cross. All right.

[Stugotz]

Yeah. They go together. You got to put it. Yeah, you're right.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah, yeah. But I think that's where I would do it. That's where I would do it.

[Stugotz]

Congratulations. It's a hell of a list. I thank you for playing along because I made that more difficult than it had to be. I can be awkward that way.

[Charlie Barrons]

No, that's okay. I think I made it more difficult, too. And in that way, we relate and can connect and, you know, know, it's good we could connect over something here. And I'm sorry I got the niceness wrong on it, but we figured it out. See, I just made that awkward too. Look, connection.

[Stugotz]

Everybody likes you, don't they?

[Charlie Barrons]

Well, I don't know.

[Dan Le Batard]

You are.

[Charlie Barrons]

You, you're talking like my therapist right now. What's the next thing?

[Stugotz]

But I think likability is a part of your comedic charm. Right. There is a skill involved to being a stand up comedian that people root for that people just simply like. And so you've gotten very good at it.

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah, no, I do appreciate that. Yeah, I think, I think, I hope people like me, you know, I need that in my life. Actually. That's part of being a people pleaser. We could talk all about that too, actually. That's part of, part of the bit. I won't go into it now. People be surprised. But yeah, yeah, I need people to like me. I love that.

[Mike Ryan]

What's the toughest part of the life?

[Charlie Barrons]

Needing everyone to like you.

[Stugotz]

Yeah.

[Charlie Barrons]

That's terrible. You guys, you walk around, you're like, who even am I? I don't know. Can I hold this door open for you? I know you're 50ft away, but that's okay, I'll keep. I know you don't even want me to hold this door for you, but I'm going to keep holding it for you. Aside for that, the travel. Yeah.

[Stugotz]

What are the greatest perils involved with needing to be a people pleaser?

[Charlie Barrons]

Oh, my gosh. Yeah, you kind of just find yourself doing very odd things, you know, you're like, oh, no, I'm not alert. Allergic to that. I got an EpiPen in my bag. I mean, I've gone to the hospital four different times, you guys, because I just couldn't pass up the peanuts, you know? But it turns out they had trail mix too, but I didn't want them to feel like they weren't good peanuts, you know, and that's a word you really gotta enunciate properly. Okay. Yeah, it is.

[Stugotz]

Yeah.

[Charlie Barrons]

Otherwise you find yourself, yourself in a much weirder people pleasing situation and.

[Dan Le Batard]

Yeah.

[Stugotz]

So you're bad at. No. Are you bad? Do you find you, you have some difficulty with just saying to people. No.

[Charlie Barrons]

Can't say no, no, I know. Just saying it there. I mean, it gave me a pan. I gotta say, if anything. Yeah, no. So like there's a little like.

I might still do it, you know, Like I'd be like, yeah, no. Oh, no. Yeah, no. You kind of just riff it until you see their eyes light up and you're like, I'm gonna go with that answer.

[Greg Cody]

He clearly can't with all the follow up Stan's ass.

[Charlie Barrons]

Charlie, you might as well just cry.

[Dan Le Batard]

For us because he's not gonna stop.

[Charlie Barrons]

Till you start crying.

[Stugotz]

What are you talking about?

[Charlie Barrons]

No, I love it. I love it. I mean, first of all, he doesn't know a guy from the Midwest. We haven't cried since the 80s when we were babies, man. Okay? We don't know what emotion is. We just shove it deep, deep down inside and then we go bowl.

[Mike Ryan]

That's where we go.

[Stugotz]

CharlieBarrons.com is where you go for tour dates and tickets. The Lost and Found tour. You can see it live again. His YouTube channel @Charlie Barrons. Appreciate the time, Charlie. Thank you for stopping in. Unfortunate that I was not able to make you cry for the first time since the 80s. I appreciate your repressions though.

[Charlie Barrons]

Thank you. I appreciate you appreciating that. And you guys watch for deer, all right? They pop out of nowhere.

[Stugotz]

Are you going to leave now and continue to regret that cattle refere reference?

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah, I'm still regretting it. Thanks for bringing it back up.

But I like that we're lingering. I'm comfortable here too. This is the long Midwest goodbye. So I'm about to go get you a casserole. Another casserole reference. I do have a quarter cow in my fridge, so I'd be happy to. I got some back straps from a deer I got. But anyways, yeah, I'm lingering a little too long. I can feel it. I see your hands on your cheeks.

[Stugotz]

No, he said you sold it. You said there he's going to see your show. He just whispered me while you were talking. I've never related to someone more in my life.

[Dan Le Batard]

The people, Charlie. I'll, I'll be there. I can't wait to see you tomorrow.

[Charlie Barrons]

And where are you from?

[Dan Le Batard]

I live five minutes from where you're going to be performing at Parker Playhouse.

[Charlie Barrons]

See, it's too close. Within the people pleasing distance. You're like, well, I might as well.

[Dan Le Batard]

That's exactly right. No, that's exactly right. I'm like, oh, I could ride my bike over there.

[Charlie Barrons]

That's perfect. Yeah. And you say save the environment. Look at that. Another people pleasing thing.

[Dan Le Batard]

This guy gets it. This guy gets it.

[Charlie Barrons]

We got it, man. Yeah, we don't know who we are, but everyone else doesn't either.

[Dan Le Batard]

Yeah, that's right. People used to like me too, until I joined this show.

[Charlie Barrons]

You know, that's that. I'm. I'm sorry. I'm Sorry to hear that. But you got a great Henley, Anya.

[Dan Le Batard]

Thank you very much. I appreciate that.

[Greg Cody]

No one ever liked.

[Mike Ryan]

Yeah.

[Dan Le Batard]

Jeremy.

[Stugotz]

What are you talking about?

[Charlie Barrons]

Yeah.

[Stugotz]

The lingering continues. Thank you. Thank you, Charlie. Good.

[Greg Cody]

See you.

[Charlie Barrons]

Okay. I'm picking up what you're putting down. We'll see you guys. Be good now.

[Stugotz]

Nice driving. Nice driving. Nice driving. Good.

[Charlie Barrons]

Thank you.

[Dan Le Batard]

Thank you.

[Jeremy]

Say hello to the family.

[Stugotz]

Get closer to the mic job.

[Dan Le Batard]

Dad.

[Stugotz]

Really? Greg, I did want to ask you if you had any thoughts about the unceremonious in the middle of the night dispensing of Chris Paul that the Clippers did, because I don't. I don't think this is the way that epic retirement tours are supposed to go. At the end, you're at a. You're with the Clippers. You've won four or five games this season. It's an old terrible team. He was great last year. Chris Paul was not good. He was great last year at an advanced age and in the middle of the night, the Clippers just sent him home. There has to be more to that story.

[Jeremy]

It's too terrible to imagine the mistreatment of an all time great player. And something must have happened in the background that hadn't been reported yet. That's the only thing I can.

[Stugotz]

There are only two people in that sport that I can think of that have a really wonderful public image in terms of how they behave. But behind the scenes, people complain about some of their behavior and it's Chris Paul and Doc Rivers. Those are the two guys that have a very different public image than the one that some people have opinions about in private.

[Mike Ryan]

I mean, they sent. He's on a retirement tour, all right? He announced that he's retiring a week ago and they sent him home late at night while on an east coast road trip. And they didn't waive him, they didn't trade him. They actually sent him home. So, I mean, I don't know if we'll ever find out. I hope that we do, but it's pretty obvious. They just do it on a whim, like something happened. Maybe it's, hey, you know, there's a reason why we only have five wins this year. Tyloo, you suck. As a coach or once again, he doesn't get along with James Harden. He didn't get along with him at the end of their Houston time. There's something.

[Stugotz]

Time to throw away doll journalistic credibility and get reckless. Here is something we like to call reckless speculation. You're good.

[Mike Ryan]

It's very obvious that something happened. He's not just some innocent dude who's sitting around. Hey, Chris, we're sending you home.

[Stugotz]

What?

[Jeremy]

But what does that even mean though? Sent him home like they haven't got.

[Charlie Barrons]

This is a new alone improved Dan.

[Stugotz]

Levatar show With a stoop Gamble on by DraftKings.

[Greg Cody]

Now is a good time to remember where tequila's story truly began. In 1795, Cuervo invented tequila.

[Stugotz]

Cuervo.

[Greg Cody]

What are you doing here?

[Stugotz]

Cuervo? Anytime someone says Cuervo, I show up.

[Greg Cody]

Well, I do know that to be true. But even during ad reads like Cuervo, I think he could lay out especially for one of our great partners.

[Stugotz]

Sweet, delicious Cuervo.

[Greg Cody]

Since then, Cuervo has stayed true to its roots. The same fan family, the same land, the same passion.

[Stugotz]

Cuervo.

[Greg Cody]

So enjoy the tequila that started it all. Cuervo.

[Stugotz]

Cuervo.

[Greg Cody]

The tequila that invented tequila. Roximo Cuervo.com Please drink responsibly.

[Stugotz]

Cuervo.