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Dan LeBatard
Folks.
Stugatz
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David Sampson
Cuervo?
Jonathan Zaslow
Anytime someone says Cuervo, I show up.
Chris Cote
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Jonathan Zaslow
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Chris Cote
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Jonathan Zaslow
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Chris Cote
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Jonathan Zaslow
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Chris Cote
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Jonathan Zaslow
Cuervo.
David Sampson
This is the Don Levator show with the Stugats podcast.
Stugatz
We've talked a lot today about tickets. Zaszlo's trying to go to Pearl Jam. The NBA playoffs are starting. The perfect app to use. Download the Game Time app. Create an account Use code DAN for $20 off your first purchase terms apply. Download Game Time today. Last minute tickets Lowest price guaranteed.
Jonathan Zaslow
Is anyone here aware as we did everything that we did there with Pablo and Samson? I've never seen Samson laugh like that. He was Spasming.
Dan LeBatard
It was real emotion.
Jonathan Zaslow
He was violently spasming because he knows how funny it is that I was apologizing for something that embarrassed me, and then I did it again. And I'm not sure the audience or you guys still know what it is that I was apologizing.
Dan LeBatard
No idea.
Mike Ryan
In the dog. Dan, I think.
Roy Bellamy
Because I think you made it seem like you're angry at Pablo. Right. That's the impression I had when I walked in today.
Jonathan Zaslow
A lot of people were confused earlier this week by something that I said because we were making fun of the Peabody Award. And the Peabody Award is a very prestigious award.
Dan LeBatard
If you say so.
Mike Ryan
So you are apologizing to the Peabody? No, I'm lost.
Dan LeBatard
Well, who then?
Jonathan Zaslow
So no one still, as we do this, no one understands what I'm embarrassed about, what I'm apologizing for. And Zaslow still doesn't know the truth of why it. Pablo would be mad at me.
Mike Ryan
And also, is Zazzle going to get tickets?
Dan LeBatard
Yeah, I'm trying. I'm confused. I'm the only one trying.
Roy Bellamy
Huge story that needs a conclusion.
Mike Ryan
But also, Sam's David Sampson, you claim, has a better ticket guy than you do.
Jonathan Zaslow
Well, I thought that David Sampson, by virtue of being in billionaire company, would have a better ticket guy than I have, but he said he couldn't get Pearl Jam tickets in a week and couldn't necessarily get good tickets, and I think I can.
Dan LeBatard
I have seen Sampson's ticket guy at work, and he's phenomenal. He can get him the day of. He just doesn't want to do it for Zaslav. That's that.
Jonathan Zaslow
Yeah.
Roy Bellamy
I mean, we're not close. We barely know each other. I get that. You know, I get it says, why.
Amin Elhassan
Don'T people want to waste their good ticket guy on you?
Roy Bellamy
Well, that. See, that part I don't know, because these are my good friends that I'm in the room with right now, and it seems like they're a lot more interested in competing with each other than they are in helping me out. I'm losing. I can't sleep at night. At 3am last night, I rolled over in my bed. It's all I can think about. I grabbed my phone. I almost bought tickets for $2,000 last night. I can't sleep. I need to get my life back in order.
Stugatz
I mean, you've seen him a bunch, though. I mean, how many times can you.
Roy Bellamy
Okay, you sound like my wife. All right. Not sure that's the angle you're looking for.
Dan LeBatard
Right.
Stugatz
After the 16th time you're. I feel like I got this Pearl Jam.
Dan LeBatard
Very much like Dead and Company. You're getting basically a different show every time.
Roy Bellamy
That's why we need to go to both shows next week, because one show has nothing to do with the other. And I cannot be sitting in my home knowing that 10 minutes from my house Pearl Jam is playing. And instead, I'm in the Zazlow mansion family room on the couch, sitting in my underwear.
Stugatz
It can't be a different set list every time. Okay, but they've got to have, like 10 that they. You know.
Roy Bellamy
Again, it feels like you're trying to do the best impersonation of my wife that you possibly can. And I can tell you right now, you're nailing it.
Mike Ryan
H. So you're saying that.
Roy Bellamy
I mean, I don't know who that is.
Mike Ryan
Jeremy.
Roy Bellamy
Sounds like Nickelback just breathes Azo.
Stugatz
I love that one.
Roy Bellamy
I need to get my life back.
Jonathan Zaslow
His lip is quivering. He. His look. I mean, I've known Zaslow for a long time. I've known Zazlow is crazy for a long time. There is nothing in the world he is as crazy about as Pearl. Champ.
Roy Bellamy
It's so important to me, the Heat. I mean, I. It's so important to me. And I'm super stressed at the idea that I don't have tickets to these shows next week because I am trying so hard.
Mike Ryan
Zaz, I give you the option of either lifetime tickets. Great.
Roy Bellamy
I like this question.
Mike Ryan
Pearl Jam.
Roy Bellamy
Go on.
Mike Ryan
Or you on the broadcast for Miami Heat. Four in a row championships. The first since the Celtics all the way back in the 60s.
Roy Bellamy
Okay, but I was on the broadcast for two E. Champions.
Mike Ryan
No, no, I'm saying four in a row.
Roy Bellamy
I'm a two time champion.
Mike Ryan
Broadcast four. I'm saying four in a row.
Dan LeBatard
Four in a row. Thank you.
Mike Ryan
On the broadcast for four in a row. Back to back to back to back. Like the. Like the. The Fred McGriff baseball. Right?
Roy Bellamy
Or.
Jonathan Zaslow
Well said.
Mike Ryan
Thank you.
Dan LeBatard
I knew exactly.
Billy Gil
I knew exactly what you.
Roy Bellamy
I did too.
Jonathan Zaslow
But he had to throw in Fred McGriff after Brad. He sounded like. Any better?
David Sampson
Back to back to back?
Jonathan Zaslow
AAU championship.
Mike Ryan
Lifetime.
David Sampson
Crime dog.
Mike Ryan
Lifetime. Lifetime. Pearl Jam. Great seats. Not like front row, but great seats. Any venue in the world that.
Jonathan Zaslow
Wow.
Mike Ryan
What about five Heat championships in a row?
Roy Bellamy
But I already have two.
Mike Ryan
Okay, what about.
Jonathan Zaslow
I mean, you're doing this very poorly. I'm gonna have to stop you for a number of different reasons, including that you're doing this very poorly. So Just.
Dan LeBatard
Minor penalty.
Stugatz
Two minutes rambling.
Jonathan Zaslow
The question is, Zaslow, who do you love more? Pearl Jam or the he.
Dan LeBatard
Say it's as though you know that.
Roy Bellamy
Pearl Jam more.
Jonathan Zaslow
Damn.
David Sampson
Wow.
Roy Bellamy
Pearl Jam more.
Dan LeBatard
It's okay.
Jonathan Zaslow
Holy.
Roy Bellamy
I love Pearl Jam more.
Dan LeBatard
You feel good? You feel better?
Roy Bellamy
I feel okay about it. Doesn't mean I don't love the Heat. I love Pearl Jam more.
Dan LeBatard
Y. I know you do.
Jonathan Zaslow
Two time champion broadcast.
Roy Bellamy
Okay. That I could love other things as well in my life. My love is not exclusive to one thing.
Dan LeBatard
I can't believe that Pearl Jammer wife.
Roy Bellamy
Well, see, I mean.
David Sampson
I care about you. Take it easy.
Roy Bellamy
Really tough scenario. I don't know why you put him in that position.
Jonathan Zaslow
Did she watch this?
Dan LeBatard
Answer it.
Jonathan Zaslow
What an asshole. He can't just take what's there. He has to always ask for more. Just say your wife, for crying out loud.
Roy Bellamy
Of course my wife.
Dan LeBatard
Good.
David Sampson
Good man. Good man.
Jonathan Zaslow
The better way to ask that question is, who do you like better, the.
Mike Ryan
Heat or your wife?
Jonathan Zaslow
Because then he could just like a.
Stugatz
Little tournament to get to. Pearl Jam.
Jonathan Zaslow
Yes.
Mike Ryan
Build up.
Jonathan Zaslow
Play it.
Dan LeBatard
Let's play it.
Jonathan Zaslow
Wife or Heat?
Roy Bellamy
My wife, My kids. The Heat.
Stugatz
The Panthers.
Roy Bellamy
Pearl Jam.
Stugatz
Nice little play in here.
Jonathan Zaslow
I actually want to see if David Sampson can negotiate how much free work out of Zez in exchange for free Pearl Jam tickets. I want to ask you guys two questions. One starts with last segment.
Roy Bellamy
Hope my wife's not listening.
Jonathan Zaslow
She's not. I assure you she's not. The last segment. Okay. Roy and Zaz, I wanted to carry us into hockey playoffs. Here they come. What a magical time.
Dan LeBatard
You and I were ready to sit back and watch two guys talk.
Jonathan Zaslow
We were going to watch Roy and Zaz Cook. And Roy decided to do a lot of analysis in against the spread. That gave us the start to some hockey, but all Zaslow gave us while I was trying to get. Let's Panthers lightning. They hate each other. Let's see what we could get there. I felt off of my partner of 20 years here, that stug felt the same thing that I did, which is we were tossing a lob to Zaslo and we were going to watch the boys. We were going to watch the boys work for a while. And then both Stugatz and I got confused by get that ass took.
Billy Gil
Yeah.
Jonathan Zaslow
As analysis. As analysis. Yeah. It's just like.
Dan LeBatard
And then we had to come back to the mic. I wasn't expecting.
Roy Bellamy
Yeah.
Jonathan Zaslow
The hockey show sometimes on Friday, like, they break it down and they'll explain to you what's happening between Tampa and Florida. But get that ass took. Yeah. Helpful is it just wasn't helpful.
Roy Bellamy
That's right. It's been a full year since the Panthers met up with the Tampa Bay Lightning in the playoffs. It's time we take that ass again. Yep.
Mike Ryan
Yeah.
Roy Bellamy
That's what's on tap. Lightning, Panthers, playoffs. But take that ass. Who doesn't understand what that means?
David Sampson
Ain't nobody scared of the lightning, man.
Stugatz
World roar. Three or no four, right? Which four is four?
Jonathan Zaslow
Four.
Stugatz
We got him again.
Jonathan Zaslow
The taking of the ass.
Mike Ryan
Why take it?
Stugatz
You know exactly what he means.
Roy Bellamy
Why not take it?
David Sampson
They're not going to give it to you.
Jonathan Zaslow
It's not analysis.
Dan LeBatard
You have to take it.
Mike Ryan
Analysis. I'd rather kick it. Kick that ass, not take it.
Roy Bellamy
The Panthers and the Lightning are in front of me and somebody and in this case it was you. Says what's going to happen? Sometimes less is more. Panthers could take that ass.
Stugatz
I'm with. I'm with Zaz on this. You take that ass.
Dan LeBatard
Yeah, but we wanted more. I mean.
Jonathan Zaslow
No, no, no.
David Sampson
We take that ass thereby tell me.
Roy Bellamy
And I'll tell you what else. I'll tell you what else. I saw a post on Twitter yesterday how the Toronto Maple Leafs.
Mike Ryan
Yeah.
Roy Bellamy
That they won the division. Guess what? It's been two years and that's two years too long. Could take that ass too.
Dan LeBatard
We're taking two asses.
Jonathan Zaslow
Cutting it up. I remember when Tampa was the ass taker.
David Sampson
That was a long time ago.
Dan LeBatard
Dan Long took our ass.
Jonathan Zaslow
Wasn't that long ago.
Mike Ryan
Is the ass they're taking now, Are they taking their own ass back or is that a new ass?
Jonathan Zaslow
They're claiming that no ass was taken last night. That it was just 5 to 1 Tampa and it doesn't matter.
Roy Bellamy
We played half the squad playing guys I never even heard of.
Dan LeBatard
Yeah, doesn't matter.
Jonathan Zaslow
Understood. It's still Tampa.
Mike Ryan
So there's no ass reclamation.
Roy Bellamy
Panthers, baby. I don't know if you paid attention the last two years back up.
Stugatz
I think once you take the ass, it's yours.
Roy Bellamy
I mean, I recall the last two postseasons.
Dan LeBatard
What happened?
Roy Bellamy
Panthers taking that ass.
Dan LeBatard
That's what I'm talking about.
Mike Ryan
So after they took the ass was a new ass came out. And they took that ass too.
Roy Bellamy
Yeah, I mean, you see, you can't play without an ass.
Stugatz
Like a lizard tail.
Roy Bellamy
Yeah. And they're going to meet again this weekend in Tampa. Look, series starts in Tampa. That's okay. Because you know what's going to happen anyway. Take that ass.
Jonathan Zaslow
I can't believe I'm sitting in the middle of a market where I just saw our resident legend. Radio hockey people have the back and forth efficient exchange of Tampa. So. What do you mean, Tampa? So Tampa's been a haunt. They've been a haunting franchise that made you completely change everything that you were doing blueprint wise. Because they've owned Florida for the the last seven years.
Dan LeBatard
Dan, I think we're wrong on this. I mean, the Panthers just won a Stanley Cup. I mean, they should be max confident right now.
Roy Bellamy
Done.
Dan LeBatard
Yes.
Jonathan Zaslow
You understand that? You understand how I'm watching basketball and everyone still hears. I don't know about LeBron. I don't know if I don't know about Steph. And both of you are like, tampa, so are you. You can't look at me in the face, see what this franchise has done for 30 years and go Tampa.
Roy Bellamy
So I bet you that's okay. You know how I can I hit Stu guts? Ask me right now. Pose the question. Tampa Panthers, what do you think? Go ahead, go play it out for you again.
Mike Ryan
Maybe you missed it.
Dan LeBatard
Look Dan in the face, okay? Yeah, look him right in the eyes, okay? Lightning Panthers, what do you think?
Roy Bellamy
Look at this face while I tell this to you, okay? Because I don't want there to be any kind of confusion. You look me right in the eye. Panthers could take that ass, man.
Dan LeBatard
Dan, he looked right in the eye.
David Sampson
I mean, Dan, I'm looking you right at the eye right now.
Dan LeBatard
This is serious.
Stugatz
You want the smoke, right?
Roy Bellamy
Go on.
David Sampson
Yeah. So right in your eyes. I'm saying so.
Roy Bellamy
Coming back here. 20 series lead.
Jonathan Zaslow
Yep.
Dan LeBatard
I'll take the smoke.
Roy Bellamy
That's right.
Mike Ryan
This is beat for beat. Exactly how Icarus went down, right? Like he was flying. And the sun gonna take that ass.
Dan LeBatard
Who?
David Sampson
The sun, not the dead ass.
Jonathan Zaslow
Something happened yesterday on the show that I need to show the audience because it's the reason that John Amici. John Amici, a hero of mine for a lot of reasons, is braving customs and everything else to fly in here and make sure that our company is protected during a prosperous time. And so that we can do all the corporate exorcism around here, we have to do so that David Sampson cannot win. He cannot be the one who wins at the end. It has to be the rest of us that win. It cannot be David Sampson.
Stugatz
Just like the visual you've created of braving customs, like, he's like fighting through.
Jonathan Zaslow
Walks through the gate. Really?
Stugatz
It's just like a sad like S line where he's just like.
Amin Elhassan
He's got Global entry, too.
Roy Bellamy
He walks right in.
Jonathan Zaslow
He comes right in. The way Amin catches the red eye and gulches in.
Mike Ryan
It's Uber driver launching. Like, just.
Jonathan Zaslow
I wish I had video of you running through that airport. The big OJ From Golden State, Memphis, to get to this thing.
Stugatz
Jumping over the chair.
Jonathan Zaslow
Yes.
Mike Ryan
I'm telling you. And people in the airport like to take their sweet time when they walk, and don't let them be in a group of two or three. They'll walk as wide as possible. And so the moving walkways, which should help. Couldn't use them because I just. I saw it as I was sprinting. There's like three or four people, these clumps. I'm like, that's not gonna work.
Stugatz
You gotta. On your left. Come on.
Mike Ryan
Not even.
Stugatz
Let's go.
Mike Ryan
Just skipped it skating by. I ran manual. Manual right here. Just like O.J. running, hurdling. I even had a trench coat. I didn't even bring it to the airport, but all of a sudden, it's under my arm.
Dan LeBatard
Just appeared there.
Jonathan Zaslow
Are we allowed to play that commercial? I think that's. So. That commercial is so old that I don't believe that many people listening to this have any idea what you're talking about. But it's like, one of. It might be the first famous sports commercial.
Mike Ryan
Oh, yeah. I mean, look, O.J. was one of the first famous pitch men who, you know, if you think about the evolution of the sportsman as a pitch man. Right. Usually it's I'm here in my jersey with my ball underneath my arm. So, you know what I do, and then it turns into I'm wearing colors that are similar to the colors of my jersey, and other people around me are playing the sport, but I'm not. And then it's the Peyton Manning level, which is the highest level, which is I can just be a regular dude, and I don't need to explain to you who I am. Right. That's the highest level of fame. Right, OJ Was that like. Yes. The running through the airport? Because he's OJ but it's like he didn't have anything identifying him as a football player. There was no football in the background. It was just him sprinting through the airport.
Jonathan Zaslow
What are you smiling about, Taslo?
Roy Bellamy
I'm just thinking of a mean running through the airport.
Dan LeBatard
Funny. Yeah.
Mike Ryan
Puffing and puffing.
Roy Bellamy
Funny visual.
Stugatz
I love the commercials where they're like, hey, is that Brian Oracpo? Because it's like, you don't know, unless they say his name.
Jonathan Zaslow
I bet you we can do a whole show about all of those. Because that happens a lot. Hell, they put two in uniform because nobody was going to recognize.
Roy Bellamy
He's right, though. Brian Arakpo is like the one.
Dan LeBatard
He has no business being in a commercial.
Jonathan Zaslow
He's not. He's not the one in that commercial. They had to say, hey, look, it's three time Pro Bowler Brian Arakbo or whatever.
Dan LeBatard
It was his resume.
Mike Ryan
There's a. There's a CarMax or whatever commercial that has name.
Roy Bellamy
Spell that phonetically.
Mike Ryan
That has subird and Shanae and stuff. And it's like, hey, did you have to settle when you won two MVPs in the 3,000? Like that's that when they're doing the resume reading, that means nobody knows who you are.
Jonathan Zaslow
But we can play the game. If we open that up right now to the audience and had something live to interact with the audience, you'd get 50 funny ones like that. Because that. Commercials have to do that all the time. When they want to go to sports for sponsorship, but they're going to somebody who doesn't cross over.
Mike Ryan
This is why I love all the Head and shoulders commercials now with Mahomes, because Troy Polamalu is in it, but he's been in those commercials for so long, we don't even have to explain. It's just he's a guy with great hair and of course he does Head and Shoulders commercials.
Dan LeBatard
Yeah.
Jonathan Zaslow
What are you smiling about, Zaslow?
Roy Bellamy
I'm just. I can't stop thinking about running through the airport.
Jonathan Zaslow
All right, can you guys find video, please, of a mean racing Pablo and whoever else it was when we did those races outside of the Clevelander that were a liability risk and eventually ESPN took them away from us.
David Sampson
What popped in my head was the old Dan Marino isoton of gloves commercials.
Dan LeBatard
Because those were great.
David Sampson
We're not wearing gloves in Miami. It's too hot.
Jonathan Zaslow
What are we doing there? But Marino was wildly famous at the time. Marino's not three time Pro Bowler Brian Arakbo, like that's a phrase.
Dan LeBatard
You knew it was Marino.
Jonathan Zaslow
I don't know if Find out for me what he said because he might not have been a three time Pro Bowler. I think they might have actually given him more Pro Bowls in the commercial than he actually had just because they were false advertising.
Amin Elhassan
I feel like it was a cupcake commercial via Microsoft. It's like, look, it's Brian Rockbo, Michael Griffin.
Jonathan Zaslow
And you're like, who?
David Sampson
They were making their Own cupcakes in that commercial. Yeah, they had a business.
Mike Ryan
You know, Roy, when you said Isotoner, I didn't think of Dan Marino. I thought of OJ.
David Sampson
If it doesn't fit, you must have quit.
Mike Ryan
There are three brands. There are three brands that are always associated with O.J. number one, Isotoners. Number two, Ford Bronco. Number three, Bruno Molly Shoes.
Roy Bellamy
I mean, look at him. Look at him running.
Dan LeBatard
Nailed it.
Jonathan Zaslow
OJ Is the first. This is the first commercial of this kind we're talking about that they're imagining you running through an airport looking like the first commercial there was anywhere on television for anything involving someone from sports.
Mike Ryan
Yeah, I mean, look. And by the way, as they're showing this video sans any context. The context of me coming off a red eye, nobody cares. The context of me wearing Jordan fives, Nobody cares. Yeah, like, there's heavy shoes, sweats and stuff. Billy's wearing not 90s ass shorts, but, like, some modern stuff. Billy, former D1 athlete. Also, I cooked Pablo, but no one ever seems to mention that. Pablo came in third in that race. And then Chris came. And I won't lie, I was kind of blown away by how fast Chris was.
Roy Bellamy
At what point during the running through the airport did you text the Uber driver and let him know that you got there?
Mike Ryan
After I got on the plane, when.
Dan LeBatard
You were sitting right.
Mike Ryan
I had to say, I don't want.
Dan LeBatard
To catch your breath.
Jonathan Zaslow
Right.
Mike Ryan
If I text him and then I don't catch the flight, now I feel like an idiot. So I had to make sure it was confirmed. I'm on the plane.
Roy Bellamy
You don't want to look stupid in front of the Uber.
Mike Ryan
No.
Dan LeBatard
You don't want to jinx it. Right.
Stugatz
I found some audio here of one of these Iraqpo commercials.
Jonathan Zaslow
You said you'd get me on the field. I did get you on the field. You are Brian Arakpo, All Pro linebacker.
Mike Ryan
Surely you could do better than this.
Roy Bellamy
You think he was ever All Pro?
Dan LeBatard
I want to say thank you. After he tells me who it is.
Jonathan Zaslow
I don't think All Pro. I don't think. Please look up whether he was actually an All Pro. All.
Dan LeBatard
Probably. Oh, he had to be.
Jonathan Zaslow
No, I felt like I. I thought the reason I'm remembering a commercial from 20 years ago is because they also got it wrong.
Mike Ryan
To be fair, that's a very confusing thing about football to have All Pro and Pro Bowl.
Jonathan Zaslow
I thought he was. I thought he was a Pro Bowler and not an All Pro.
Mike Ryan
Too many pros.
Jonathan Zaslow
Brian Arakpo, All Pro linebacker.
Mike Ryan
Surely you could do better than this.
Dan LeBatard
Four time Pro Bowler. I mean, but is that all.
Roy Bellamy
Probably not All Pro.
Stugatz
I'm being told.
Mike Ryan
No, it's not.
Stugatz
Never an All Pro.
Roy Bellamy
No, it's not.
Stugatz
The other room is saying, never an All Pro.
Dan LeBatard
All right.
Roy Bellamy
Completely different.
Dan LeBatard
All right.
Jonathan Zaslow
Why are you.
Dan LeBatard
I mean, you made the Pro Bowl. You're all Pro.
Stugatz
No, All Pro is. They need first team. All Pro, second team.
Dan LeBatard
I don't know Pro Bowlers.
Stugatz
You can be like the seventh replacement.
Mike Ryan
I'm gonna. I'm gonna stick up for Sue Gods on this one.
Dan LeBatard
Thank you.
Mike Ryan
That's football's fault, right? Why are you naming things the same thing? Yeah, they're two different awards.
Jonathan Zaslow
Again, should have said Pro Bowler.
Stugatz
They're wrong.
Jonathan Zaslow
That's correct. This is the part I'm getting to. I don't understand why everybody's still like, still don't know. And I'm like, no. The reason that it's funny is not merely because Andrew Luck is over enunciating. Introducing to an audience. Here's this person with a funny name.
Stugatz
That's not Andrew Luck. That was a caveman.
Jonathan Zaslow
No, I'm joking. You said you get me on the field. I did get you on the field. You are Brian Arakpo, All Pro linebackers.
Dan LeBatard
Thank you.
Jonathan Zaslow
Not thank you. Stunning. All Pro. It's also wrong. So it's not merely that they're introducing him to the audience to sell something they're doing so incorrectly. It's the reason that I remember that commercial.
David Sampson
Don LeBatard.
Jonathan Zaslow
World War Three stugats.
Stugatz
We're gonna get that off the ground.
Chris Cote
World War Three colon. Our group chat has a pretty good feeling about this one.
David Sampson
This is the Dan Levatar show with the stugats.
Jonathan Zaslow
The thing that I was trying to get to here with the rest of you is I legitimately feel bad for Mike Ryan who has left the show in disgrace today because he went viral yesterday the way that he went viral.
Stugatz
I need to jump in real fast. I just got a text from David Sampson. I hope this is meant for air. I got Zaz Pearl Jam tickets. Texted Dan need answer asap. Total rush job. Oh, am I telling David yes or.
Mike Ryan
I mean, working on.
Dan LeBatard
Get him two for each night.
Stugatz
I'll follow up.
Dan LeBatard
Clarify.
Jonathan Zaslow
Let's get David back on to see. To negotiate free work from Zaslow on behalf of the company. If indeed this is something that he can execute. I don't think people understand what a hard thing David Sampson just did.
Dan LeBatard
Like that.
Jonathan Zaslow
This is. This is difficult. Look, locally, Pearl Jam does not play.
Mike Ryan
Never.
Jonathan Zaslow
Like, and Pearl Jam is at the end of this. And my wife and I have gone and seen Pearl Jam.
Roy Bellamy
I'm excited that you're going.
Jonathan Zaslow
We don't think they're going to play much. Very, very much anymore. And Zaslow cares about Pearl Jam more than I know.
Roy Bellamy
You see this sweatshirt I'm wearing?
Dan LeBatard
It says Pearl Jam on it.
Jonathan Zaslow
That's what it. That's what it says. Stugat's a successful reader.
Roy Bellamy
Zaz is the audio audience, in case.
Dan LeBatard
The audience didn't notice.
Jonathan Zaslow
Zsazza successful wear of Pearl Jam. You have much Pearl Jam gear.
Roy Bellamy
I have much Pearl Jam gear.
Jonathan Zaslow
Well, we got to negotiate on air then, right? Like, the thing that I was beginning to say about the things happening at our company, because Sampson's getting more and more power, and we've got to be careful about that.
Dan LeBatard
Well, you have to.
Jonathan Zaslow
Everybody needs to be. Everybody needs to be. Because. What are you giving me the thumbs up?
Stugatz
I'm seeing Samson in my zoom screen right now. So he's here.
Jonathan Zaslow
Okay.
Dan LeBatard
I'm telling you, Sampson got you. Like, I'm just telling you.
Roy Bellamy
Oh, look at that. Put them. Look at that.
Dan LeBatard
He got you two tickets each night. They're probably, like, last row tickets. That's not what you want.
Jonathan Zaslow
So can you do better?
Dan LeBatard
I'm trying. Are you?
Jonathan Zaslow
I have not yet begun to try, but I'm guessing that I could. Well, what's better? I don't know what.
Dan LeBatard
Let's see what Sampson got.
Jonathan Zaslow
Well, but let's negotiate this. Let's watch Sampson in negotiation. But before I do that, because I just do want to get to the thing I was saying. I feel bad because Mike Ryan left the show. I don't know why he left the show today, but there was shame involved for him yesterday in going viral in a costume. And one of the reasons that John Amici is here wrestling David Sampson to make sure that our company is run correctly so that everybody feels cared for is at least in part because we're trying to make the show better than it has been. And because costumes around here are not something that anyone will wear, even though a bunch of people own a bunch of different punishments and our customers want costumes. And yesterday, by accident, Mike Ryan wearing a costume went viral, which is my favorite thing. I think we should give bonuses, David, when anybody goes viral wearing a costume. But it wasn't as he intended. He was just wearing a ridiculous shirt. And so what ended up happening is he comes after Ryan Clark, and Ryan Clark got some information wrong. Mike sounded pompous. But Mike was also right. But Mike was wearing a ridiculous shirt. So can you guys put up, please, the video of. Or, I'm sorry, the picture of the shirt that Mike Ryan was wearing. Yeah. And so you guys. Yeah.
Dan LeBatard
Deserves it, whatever he's getting.
Jonathan Zaslow
Yeah. But you guys can see why that would be embarrassing. Stupid. Yeah, that's.
Dan LeBatard
That's well said. Yeah.
Amin Elhassan
From a guy wearing a Pearl Jam sweater.
Dan LeBatard
Says Pearl Jam.
Roy Bellamy
Yeah, but I want to go to Pearl Jam. Does he want to go to whatever that shirt is?
Jonathan Zaslow
All right, so start the negotiation. Sampson. Let's watch you negotiate. How much free work are you? You've got the tickets. You've got them secure.
Roy Bellamy
Good to see you. David, how are you?
Billy Gil
Hello. How are you doing?
Dan LeBatard
Christ. Don't do that.
Stugatz
David. Still laughing from his hit earlier.
Billy Gil
It's a very simple equation that we're about to solve for here. I need to know how badly you really like Pearl Jam because I don't have the tickets yet. I need a 10 second sound bite that Eddie Vedder will see because he makes the decisions. And I need 10 seconds on why you deserve two tickets to the Thursday night show in Florida.
Roy Bellamy
I've been seeing Pearl Jam every tour since I was 16 years old. They're one of the most important things in the world to me. And the best part about going to see Pearl Jam now is I now also take my now 16 year old son. He accompanies me to all the shows that I go to. So it's a huge father son bonding moment now. It's one of the greatest gifts I have in my life is seeing this band with my son.
Mike Ryan
I think you could do better.
Dan LeBatard
Too long.
Mike Ryan
This is going to Eddie. Better, buddy.
Roy Bellamy
Not to family. That was great with Eddie.
Jonathan Zaslow
Sing something I wouldn't.
Mike Ryan
That wasn't great, man. That.
Dan LeBatard
That was some yellow lead. Better.
Mike Ryan
It felt very rote. I need you to tap into emotion. I need you to get emotional. I need you to. That father, son bond. I need you to really bring it to the service. And also a little musicality to it, too.
Roy Bellamy
Listen, listen. Look at this face right here. Can the camera get on me, please? Not on a mean. Look at me, look at me. Look at his face. This is a tired face right here. This is a face that is stressed. This is not a healthy face right now. And the reason that this face looks like this right now is because this has consumed my life. I need to see Pearl Jam in my home city. I live just 10 minutes away from the Hard Rock live. And I'm going to Be sitting in my home, on my couch, in my underwear while Pearl Jam is playing the hard Rock live. I need to be at the show.
Dan LeBatard
Yeah.
David Sampson
Too long.
Billy Gil
We're going to have to take three with a couple of rules. One thing. No mention of skivvies. Let's start with that.
Roy Bellamy
What's a skivvy?
Billy Gil
Eddie's not interested in your undies.
Jonathan Zaslow
Put it on the poll at Lebatard show. Have you ever heard anyone refer to underwear as skivvies at lerd show?
Mike Ryan
Only on tv.
Jonathan Zaslow
What, you want him to try a third time? What are these that go like. I appreciate that you're treating him like a trained monkey here, but I would like for you guys to actually negotiate.
Dan LeBatard
No, but David was saying. This video is going to help David secure the ticket, so we need to.
Roy Bellamy
Thank you.
Billy Gil
I will realize we need a trans.
Roy Bellamy
I will hit on something that will really tug on David's heartstrings here.
Mike Ryan
If I may. Here's the problem. You're delivering it as a radio professional, which means you have a great direct voice. It's clear, it's strong. But right now, you're begging. Buddy, I don't think it's.
Roy Bellamy
It's not. It's not nice. It's not right for me to grovel.
Mike Ryan
Oh, you gotta grovel? It's any better.
Roy Bellamy
I have self respect. All right, I'm not gonna grovel. I gotta grovel here. But something that.
Jonathan Zaslow
You've been groveling.
Dan LeBatard
Yeah.
Jonathan Zaslow
You've been. You come in here today, use our platform to grovel.
Roy Bellamy
Well, I mean, that's your interpretation, but I will. I will say something that tug at David's heartstrings here. I already told you, some people work for food. Okay. I will work for Pearl Jam tickets. That's right. I'm here. I'm here. Actually, I'm here tomorrow, but I could also come on Friday. I work the rest of the week. David, I know how much you love saving money. I've seen it firsthand. Been a marlin fan since 1993. I know how much you love.
Dan LeBatard
You're not trying to convince David, though.
Roy Bellamy
What do you mean? I'm trying to convince David. Of course. Talk to Eddie.
Mike Ryan
Okay.
Jonathan Zaslow
Eddie.
Billy Gil
Better. Doesn't care about my time with the Marlins.
Mike Ryan
Now, Zaz, let me tell you right now, the tone you hit, right there, excellent. That's where I want you to be. Stay right there.
Jonathan Zaslow
Oh, but wait.
Mike Ryan
The content has to be.
Jonathan Zaslow
I mean, you're right to coach him this way, but if we were to test sort of how zaslo feels about things. However much he loves Pearl Jam, is how much he hates David Sampson. Saving money on the Marlin.
Mike Ryan
But the point is that David brought up. It's like, you're not supposed to impress David. You're impressing Eddie Vedders. So talking about the Marlins, Eddie Vedder's like, I don't give a shit about the Marlins. He gives a shit about Pearl Jam. So use that tone. But talk about Pearl Jam. Bring back the sun element. I really like that family vibe. Do that, but with that same song.
Amin Elhassan
I mean, he's missing something, though.
Mike Ryan
What's he missing?
Amin Elhassan
He has something. He has a ace in his back pocket that he hasn't played. He hasn't thought of it yet. He's got his own name in a Pearl Jam song done by this show that he could also put out and be like, listen to this. I'm so Pearl Jam. My name is a part of the song.
Roy Bellamy
That's true. That's true. I've ed.
Billy Gil
And feel free to mention Zaz, if you don't mind, that you did not get what you're wearing for free.
Roy Bellamy
That's right.
Mike Ryan
Yeah. You pay for your merch, and they get. They get a better cut on the merch than they do on the. On the show tickets.
Dan LeBatard
Tell them everything.
Roy Bellamy
All right, listen, this. I'm looking straight at you, Eddie Vedder and your bandmates. I.
Billy Gil
Wrong camera.
Roy Bellamy
Okay, there we go. I've ed. I'm looking straight at you, Ed. As you could tell by me looking right at the camera. Okay. I would never look at the opposite camera. I would never look at the wrong one. I'm looking right at you. I love your band so much. You have given me some of the greatest nights of my life since I was a young Jonathan Zaslow, since I was a young man trying to figure out who I am in this world. Okay? You helped me discover who I am. And then as I got older, I had children, and I now get to take my teenage boys to the shows with me. It's a. It's a family affair, Eddie. All right? And the idea that I would miss this time with my family and you, we're all part of it together. We're all a family. I gotta be there to see you at the Hard Rock Live next week. To complete our family, we need to be together. And I paid for this right here, this merch with my hard earned money. That's right. I work so that I could also buy merchandise.
Dan LeBatard
Okay, now sing it.
Jonathan Zaslow
Please stop.
Roy Bellamy
Please.
Billy Gil
Let's not get always asking for more.
Jonathan Zaslow
He got he cannot help. It's going to say it on his tombstone. Always asking for more. I don't understand. Before we get to Zachary nervous. This is what I don't understand. Perhaps our crack training team here will explain to me what happened. Please explain to me how in the other room Tony wants to throw it to a song and surprises an executive producer with a thick song who's still looking for it because they didn't coordinate to play that song like producers would. As Tony was talking about it.
Roy Bellamy
There it is.
Dan LeBatard
Just some of this.
Tony
Screamer pounce his fists on the triple A concrete. A girl or dreamer hoping he'll see the legend Glenn Rice play more games. Oh, yeah. Oh, hands down moron sandwiches and it's a little peculiar. Oh, yeah.
Jonathan Zaslow
O.
Tony
Ribs with his hands is insane. Oh, yeah. John Zaslo. How you love that catchphrase. Bad news for opposing teams in the triple air. He's all smiles till LeBron's eye. Clutch again. Clutch again.
Roy Bellamy
Clutch.
Jonathan Zaslow
Sampson, I need your help here. Close this out. Get him Pearl Jam tickets. And what does it cost? How much does he have to work for free?
Billy Gil
So the video did help because I clipped sent response. Received.
Roy Bellamy
What?
Dan LeBatard
That was quick.
Billy Gil
This is how we work here at Meadowlark.
Jonathan Zaslow
He's got.
Billy Gil
So it's a pretty simple.
Jonathan Zaslow
He's got a better ticket.
Mike Ryan
Eddie. Better is more responsive than Sugata's ticket guy.
Jonathan Zaslow
He's got a better ticket guy than I do.
Tony
Said yes.
Dan LeBatard
I've seen this ticket guy at work. He's fantastic.
Mike Ryan
So.
Billy Gil
So here's how we're going to do it. Zaz. And we're organized enough to do this, despite all evidence to the contrary is that I would like to help make a memory for you and your son on Thursday night with two premium best tickets you've ever had.
Jonathan Zaslow
Whoa.
Billy Gil
Turn. You got what I'm going to need from you. I'm going to need your best work and I'm going to need it throughout the Panthers run to defend their Stanley Cup. So while the Panthers are still in the playoffs.
Dan LeBatard
So for free, I'm going to need.
Billy Gil
Two appearances per round that they are in until they're eliminated.
Jonathan Zaslow
That's nothing. David.
Roy Bellamy
Easy work. I'm in.
Jonathan Zaslow
David. David. Why are you starting low? David.
Dan LeBatard
Right?
Billy Gil
Oh, because they're going to go to the Stanley cup and we're going to get six to eight days of Zaz.
Dan LeBatard
He would do six months for free. That's what Dan is saying.
Roy Bellamy
David.
Jonathan Zaslow
You're coming in very cheap. David. David.
Billy Gil
That I'm coming in to close. I'm a close.
Roy Bellamy
Yep. That's how you get a deal done. You know what?
Billy Gil
I'm not. I'm not. I'm not going to be a schnorer. I'm not going to grovel because he could have gone on game time and saved himself a few seconds of video love.
Roy Bellamy
Game time.
Jonathan Zaslow
I've got to stop everybody here. Like, I. Roy, you're as disappointed as I am here, right? Like, that's. That's not he. Do you know how much Zaslo would give up to have this? Six months, having him come in here a. Like, a few times.
Roy Bellamy
Not a chore either. Love coming in here. Love it.
Jonathan Zaslow
I don't have any idea. Sampson, you're. Are you going to be negotiating on behalf of Metal Arc like I need you to not be if that's how.
Billy Gil
Poorly you do it, I would like you to evaluate that at the end of the Stanley cup run, because my bet is the Panthers are going to go all the way. Sly Fox. And I believe that there is an opportunity to have Zaz add to your show, make you happy, and do it with the price.
Roy Bellamy
I'll make you so happy.
Jonathan Zaslow
All right.
Dan LeBatard
So, David, I know Zaslo was thinking this. He doesn't want to ask it. I'll ask for him. How about the second night?
Roy Bellamy
What a schnur. What a schnurr.
Dan LeBatard
You're thinking of that.
Jonathan Zaslow
But wait a minute. So I feel like I can get the second night.
Roy Bellamy
Oh, talking about I feel.
Jonathan Zaslow
But wait. If. But how much? What's legal here?
Dan LeBatard
David, I already told my guy. Forget it.
Jonathan Zaslow
In terms of how.
Billy Gil
How he didn't have a guy.
Jonathan Zaslow
Stugotz was gonna be the hero.
Roy Bellamy
But, buddy, I like to let other people shine.
Stugatz
David, you can have this one.
Jonathan Zaslow
But he's unselfish. He's unselfish. What can I do here to get the payoff? All right. Are you here tomorrow? Yeah, yeah.
Dan LeBatard
For free.
Jonathan Zaslow
David, are there legalities involved here? Because I don't feel like you negotiated that very well. I feel like we could get. We might be committ. Well, I just feel like. I'm just stunned that David came in so low on something that he got when the return he could have gotten is free work from an employee.
Roy Bellamy
Maybe he appreciates that I'm a nice boy.
Billy Gil
We are getting free work for what I perceive to be the chance of eight extra days, plus Friday. So that's great.
Dan LeBatard
But, David, we're telling you, Dan and I know Zaslow. He would have done eight months. Is what we're telling you.
Jonathan Zaslow
Zazlow would work for free for a year for this company in exchange for what you're offering him.
Roy Bellamy
Panthers don't play year round, David.
Mike Ryan
They're just calling you Nico Harrison right now.
Jonathan Zaslow
Just a terrible trade. It's a.
Billy Gil
You understand that? Defense wins championships.
Jonathan Zaslow
All right, we got to revisit this.
Roy Bellamy
Goodbye, my man. Folks, listen up.
Stugatz
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Chris Cote
Today it's the 50th anniversary of Miller Lite. And for many of those 50 years, they've been partnered up with the Dan LeBatard Show. Back to our terrestrial radio days all throughout national city syndication. Pirate face where we are now so grateful for that partnership because you guys know we believe it. It's a beer for people who love their beer. And hopefully our audience loves their beer enough to always trust Miller Lite like I do. From game night parties with friends or a special anniversary like 20 years together on air, celebrating important occasions means more moments with the coolest people in your life. Cheers to 50 years of Miller Lite, the great tasting light beer for people who Love beer. Since 1975, it's Miller Time. Miller Lite is brewed for taste. Simply put, it just hits different because of those simple ingredients like malted barley for rich balanced toffee note flavors and the iconic golden color. Oh, and that white can do. I love that white can. 96 calories and just 3.2 grams of carbs per 12 ounces. Miller time is always a good time. Miller lite grape taste, 96 calories go to millerlight.com dan to find delivery options near you, or you can pick up Miller Lite pretty much anywhere they sell beer. It's Miller time. Celebrate responsibly. Miller Brewing Co. Milwaukee, Wisconsin 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces.
Podcast Summary: The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Episode: Hour 2: The Panthers Are Taking That Ass
Release Date: April 16, 2025
In this lively episode of The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz from the Elser Hotel in Downtown Miami, hosts Dan LeBatard and Stugotz, along with their team, dive into a mix of sports fervor, pop culture references, and humorous banter. The primary focus revolves around the Florida Panthers' performance in the NHL playoffs and the hosts' ongoing quest to secure Pearl Jam concert tickets.
A significant portion of the episode centers on the hosts' humorous and somewhat chaotic attempts to obtain tickets to an upcoming Pearl Jam concert.
Initial Struggles and Laughter:
Ticket Negotiations:
On-Air Negotiation:
"I love your band so much. You have given me some of the greatest nights of my life since I was a young man trying to figure out who I am in this world. ... It's a family affair." (32:03)
"Zaz. And we're organized enough to do this... I would like to help make a memory for you and your son on Thursday night with two premium best tickets you've ever had." (35:32)
Humorous Banter and Finalization:
"You're coming in very cheap." (36:31)
"Clutch again." (35:21)
The episode transitions seamlessly into an in-depth and humorous analysis of the ongoing NHL playoff series between the Florida Panthers and the Tampa Bay Lightning.
Rivalry and Playoff Insights:
"I think we're wrong on this. I mean, the Panthers just won a Stanley Cup. I mean, they should be max confident right now." (13:07)
Humorous Analogies and Catchphrases:
"Take that ass, man." (12:34)
"This is beat for beat. Exactly how Icarus went down..." (14:20)
Prediction and Fan Sentiment:
"Hope my wife's not listening." (09:02)
"Panthers, baby." (12:05)
Throughout the episode, the hosts intersperse sports discussions with pop culture references and inside jokes that add to the show's dynamic and entertaining atmosphere.
Commercial Parodies and Memes:
"They had to say, hey, look, it's three time Pro Bowler Brian Arakpo..." (21:28)
"I'm telling you. I saw it as I was sprinting." (15:18)
Light-Hearted Banter:
"What popped in my head was the old Dan Marino Isotoners gloves commercial." (18:46)
As the episode nears its end, the hosts reflect on the day's discussions and the successful negotiation of Pearl Jam tickets, wrapping up with their characteristic humor and team spirit.
Securing the Tickets:
"We're going to have to take three with a couple of rules. One thing. No mention of skivvies." (29:17)
"So here's how we're going to do it... two premium tickets." (35:43)
Closing Banter:
"What a schnur. What a schnurr." (37:54)
"You don't want to jinx it." (20:45)
This episode of The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz masterfully blends sports fervor with humor and personal stories, delivering an engaging and entertaining experience for its audience.