Hour 2: THE WINNERS OF THE 2025 SUEY AWARDS! (feat. Amin Elhassan)

Summary

The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz

Hour 2: THE WINNERS OF THE 2025 SUEY AWARDS! (feat. Amin Elhassan)

Date: September 2, 2025
Location: Live from the Elser Hotel, Downtown Miami
Guests: Amin Elhassan

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Episode Overview

Hour 2 is a comic triumph with Dan, Stugotz, Mike Ryan, Greg Cody, Billy Gil, and guest Amin Elhassan, as they announce the 2025 SUEY Awards – the show's tongue-in-cheek annual honors. The crew delivers a fast-paced blend of irreverence, classic Suey categories, discussion of college football’s opening weekend (Belichick’s return, Deion Sanders/Colorado, Miami-Notre Dame), and teases about a mysterious, big Pablo Torre-related story. Amidst running gags, musical performances, and trademark banter, the episode highlights the show’s mix of sports satire and inside-joke community.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Suey Awards Presentation & Highlights

[06:11–13:11]

• Billy Gil and Greg Cody emcee the SUEY Awards, revealing and riffing on this year’s irreverent winners across such categories as Best Dismissal, Most Uncomfortable Moment, Best Story, and more.
• Billy Gil’s "Europe sucks" rant (Best Dismissal) becomes a major laugh line:

  "Europe is terrible. Which is why all of us left Europe... Everything is old, horrible. All they do is try to steal American culture and tell you all of their old crap is so great. Europe, terrible!" (Billy Gil, 06:23)

• The lightning round SUEY segment pokes fun at show lore, with inside jokes about Greg Cody’s dog, David Sampson’s neverending appearances, Dan’s uncomfortable childhood memory, and confusing Mandela Effect moments (e.g., Wilt Chamberlain’s 100-point game).
• Notable Suey Wins:
  • Best Dismissal: Billy Gil dismisses Europe
  • Most Uncomfortable Moment: Dan asks NASCAR driver Ryan Blaney what’s the worst part of his life
  • Best Story: David Sampson’s sermon at a Black church
  • Best Revelation: Dan’s story about being under his parents’ bed during an “activity”
  • Best/Worst Musical Performance: Rose & Yeti Blanc, Taylor Vipulous (Fire Mack Brown)
  • Worst Mistake: Greg Cody claims to have watched Wilt Chamberlain’s un-televised 100-point game
  • Best Limited Fake: Listeners’ Steve from Sex and the City
• Show's Signature Tone: Rapid-fire, self-deprecating, meta-humor (mocking Billy’s ideas and Greg Cody’s dog training "expertise"), breaking the fourth wall.

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The Pablo Torre Mystery & “Haves vs. Have Nots”

[18:22–21:39]

• Speculation and teasing about an unspecified "huge story" involving Pablo Torre, Amin, and David Sampson—possibly basketball or baseball related.
  • Dan admits the strain of keeping the scoop secret:

    “Every waking moment of my life, I have to fight myself from revealing this amazing story.” (Dan Le Batard, 19:39)

  • Billy claims, “I’m a have now,” implying he’s in on the secret [19:57], but mostly the segment is a classic show feint, ramping up hype with no substantive reveal.

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College Football Weekend Debrief: Belichick's Debut, Deion's Colorado, Miami-Notre Dame

[17:11–38:20]

Belichick’s Miserable College Debut

• Stugotz gleefully recaps Belichick’s disastrous coaching debut (against a primetime audience, allowing 48 points).
  • He ties Belichick’s girlfriend’s age to the points allowed:

    “48 points allowed is twice his girlfriend’s age.” (Stugotz, 00:59)

• Amin and crew mock Belichick’s “stupid face” when losing [17:31], with Billy posing the poll:

  "Is Bill Belichick’s face stupider now that he’s losing?" (Stugotz, 17:49)

• Macro take: The joy fans (and the crew) get from seeing Bill struggle post-Brady.

Deion Sanders/Colorado & Georgia Tech Reflection

• Amin—fresh off attending Georgia Tech’s upset over Colorado—delivers "Weekend Observations," his signature, clever run of sports-tear tastings and pop-culture references [22:00–29:14].
  • Amin bounces through college football's hyped and disappointed teams, roasting Lionel Messi, archrival fans, and Deion ("Prime")'s Colorado, with a trademark fake out:

    "He was supposed to be the messiah...but the savvy among us always knew he was a fraud. And when the spotlight was brightest, he wilted. I’m talking, of course, about...Lionel Messi. No, see, that, Dan?" (Amin Elhassan, 22:36)

  • Amin’s Top 5 "Things a Game at Colorado is Whiter Than" [27:03] is a comedic highlight, punctuated with show-specific, culturally sharp jokes.
• Amin basks in the role of Georgia Tech’s “most famous living alum” and reflects on surreal experiences in Boulder—being asked for autographs, mocking the local fandom, and remarking on the overwhelming whiteness of the environment.

  • “Every black person that wasn't on the field was basically a Georgia Tech fan, which is crazy because GT is hardly this bastion of diversity.” (Amin Elhassan, 37:21)

  • “We ran shit, man. We took over their bars... We were out there and, by the way, I wasn’t taking notes. I was signing autographs.” (Amin, 37:50)

Miami-Notre Dame and Sports Tradition in Miami

• Dan and Mike Ryan muse on the Miami–Notre Dame rivalry’s rare sustained historical relevance in a city with “so few sports traditions.” Mike calls the latest game “one of the greatest catches I’ve ever seen in person” (C.J. Daniels’ catch) [33:48].
  • Dan on Miami’s unique history:

    “It’s so strange to have a Miami thing that has this kind of history. These are not recent games. The celebration of Sunday night... is college on the football stage. For the last Sunday this season, a player like Malachi Toney can become a star...” (Dan, 34:08)

• Show celebrates college sports’ generational, communal magic—explaining feuds to kids, recalling shared memories.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Billy Gil, on Europe (Best Dismissal) [06:23]:

  "Europe is terrible. Which is why all of us left Europe. ...No air conditioning. Everything is old, horrible. All they do is try to steal American culture and tell you all of their old crap is so great."

• Dan, about hiding under parents’ bed [09:21]:

  "You’re triggering for me the memory of being under my parents’ bed when they were having... Well, I didn’t know what sex was at the time. The bed was just a rockin’. ...At the moment it was just fear. These are not small people. The bed is rocking. I’m under it."

• Amin’s Top 5 Whiteness at Colorado [27:03]:

  "Top 5 things a game at Colorado is whiter than... Number one, Taylor Swift dancing."

• Mike Ryan, on college football [34:47]:

  "It was also benefiting from the fact that it’s really the only game that delivered on the weekend... that CJ Daniels catch, it was a great game, great moments, and they’re going to be playing more often—it’s a good thing because those two teams getting together is fun."

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Important Timestamps & Segments

• [06:11–13:11] – The 2025 SUEY Awards winners and analysis
• [17:11–18:22] – Recap of Belichick’s losing debut, comedic riffs
• [18:22–21:39] – The Pablo Torre secret story (haves/have nots)
• [22:00–29:14] – Amin’s “Weekend Observations”: college football wrap & pop-culture rants
• [33:06–38:20] – Miami-Notre Dame, Miami sports tradition, and rivalry history

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Episode Tone, Running Gags, and Community

• Playful, mocking, and self-referential—the hosts tease each other relentlessly, riffing on recurring show characters (e.g., Greg Cody’s dog, David Samson's ubiquity, Billy Gil’s wild ideas).
• Audience engagement in real time with “Put it on the poll” prompts and inside jokes for long-time listeners.
• Meta-awareness: “We’ve talked about this rivalry enough over 24 hours…” (Dan Le Batard, 36:15), acknowledging the show's obsessive deep-dives.
• Surreal moments, like Amin’s slide whistle interlude and pretending to autograph while co-hosts don’t notice.

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Conclusion

This hour exemplifies everything the Le Batard Show does best: mocking sports with absurdist wit, celebrating internal lore, dragging irrelevancy to the forefront (the SUEYs), and synthesizing pop-culture and sports with a Miami-sunshine edge. The blend of gags, character, and playful celebration of failure (especially Belichick’s) stands out, making this episode both an annual highlight for fans and a model of what makes the show’s idiosyncratic brand of sports comedy so enduring.

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For New Listeners:

This summary covers all main discussion threads, captures the show's tone, and highlights the inside jokes and running commentary that drive the Le Batard Show’s loyal, participatory community. Perfect for those who missed the episode or want to relive the hardest laughs.

Transcript

[Dan Le Batard]

Olivia loves a challenge. It's why she lifts heavy weights and likes complicated recipes. But for booking her trip to Paris, Olivia chose the easy way With Expedia, she bundled her flight with a hotel to save more. Of course, she still climbed all 674 steps to the top of the Eiffel Tower. You were made to take the easy route. We were made to easily package your trip. Expedia made to travel flight inclusive packages are atoll protected.

[Mike Ryan]

This is the Dan Levator show with the Stugats podcast.

[Greg Cody]

Look at this.

[Stugats]

This is the two minute timeout.

[Greg Cody]

Give me a headset.

[Billy Gil]

Well, the wheels are.

[Stugats]

Belichick's getting beat down and his debut, his college debut in front of his famous friends and the game day crew. College game day crew. Slowly his pants on a primetime stage. Primetime stage. 48 points allowed as twice his girlfriend's age. Girlfriend's age.

[Dan Le Batard]

By the end of the third, the.

[Stugats]

Whole crowd is gone and the TV crew so bored.

[Dan Le Batard]

There's only one thing to be done.

[Stugats]

Herb Street's dog has got a headset on this game so bad that we're platforming a dog. Herbie's new dog Pete is now taking up the screen. This game has gone so wrong that it's being called by Herbie Streets dog. Herb Streets dog has got a headset on. Herb Street's dog has got a headset.

[Mike Ryan]

Favorite part of college game day was a send off to Lee Corso. Second favorite part was Herb Street's dog taking a shit where they were kicking a field goal and they jumped in the shit.

[Billy Gil]

Dan, did you know Herb Street's got a dog?

[Stugats]

Herb Street's running the place. Man allows his dog. He's like Jess around here with her dog. Herb street just brings his dog into shits everywhere.

[Billy Gil]

Well, this is not dog number two, though.

[Stugats]

Yeah, I know. This is the. He got over that quickly.

[Mike Ryan]

Yeah, that was a quick rebound.

[Stugats]

Quick rebound by old Herb street there.

[Mike Ryan]

Gotta let me mourn the last dog a little bit longer. That's just my personal feeling on it. I love dogs. Love dogs. Also like the human names. Throws me off. Let's work in a rex.

[Greg Cody]

I would improper morning time. You needed to mourn the dog a little bit before you moved on.

[Mike Ryan]

This is my golden retriever, Thaddeus. What are we doing?

[Billy Gil]

What's the appropriate amount of time? Greg?

[Greg Cody]

Just out of, you know, four months.

[Billy Gil]

But he could have, I don't know, I think he had this dog also. I think he has several dogs. Yeah. So this is just his new favorite dog, I guess.

[Greg Cody]

Yeah. You Know as a. As a dog expert.

[Mike Ryan]

Jonathan.

[Greg Cody]

What I know.

[Billy Gil]

Are you a dog expert?

[Greg Cody]

Yeah, I'm a dog expert.

[Stugats]

You're not a dog. You're not a dog expert. You have jumping Charlie who never behaves and still doesn't behave. And you sent him off to boot camp at great expense and came back and he was more behaved, but still not behaved.

[Greg Cody]

Okay, what's your point?

[Stugats]

That doesn't make you a dog expert.

[Billy Gil]

You can't call yourself a dog expert if you yourself cannot train your dog.

[Greg Cody]

My dog is well trained.

[Billy Gil]

Not by you.

[Greg Cody]

He listens to me.

[Billy Gil]

He could be an expert and just be a bad dog owner.

[Greg Cody]

Thank you. Billy, put it on the pole, please.

[Stugats]

Juju at Lebitard show. Can you be a good dog owner?

[Billy Gil]

Usually something you would thank someone if.

[Stugats]

You didn't train the dog yourself.

[Greg Cody]

When I snap my finger and say Charlie, sit. That dog sits.

[Billy Gil]

No, he does it.

[Greg Cody]

And not only that, he sits at attention.

[Stugats]

I believe that because someone else trained him how to do it.

[Greg Cody]

No, I. I do that.

[Stugats]

Yeah, Greg, because some you did not train the dog to behave. You couldn't get the dog to stop jumping. You had you sent it away to. How long for a boot?

[Greg Cody]

It was a month.

[Billy Gil]

Definitely. So expensive too.

[Greg Cody]

Yeah, very expensive.

[Stugats]

You didn't. You didn't do that. Someone else did that for you.

[Billy Gil]

Whatever my dad thinks it costs, it.

[Greg Cody]

Was like double that.

[Billy Gil]

That's what my mom does with him.

[Greg Cody]

I know, she always does that. I'm stuck in the past.

[Billy Gil]

That's fine.

[Greg Cody]

I mean, would we give her a wedding gift? 20 bucks. She laughs at me.

[Billy Gil]

He's a good boy now though, right?

[Greg Cody]

Yeah, very good.

[Billy Gil]

And he's talking. Billy, it's fine. You ever thought about like maybe, you know, jumping Charlie's lobos? Maybe he gets in on the. The PFPI fantasy or anything like that. Now that he's such a good boy.

[Greg Cody]

You know what if teach them how to pick games? I would consider that. Because when my six year then six year old granddaughter gets in the league, anybody can.

[Billy Gil]

I've seen it. I've seen them do it at the zoo. They have whales and all kinds of stuff. Picking games. Why not Jump and Charlie? I feel like jumping Charlie should make picks for us every single week this year.

[Greg Cody]

Why not Jump and Charlie?

[Billy Gil]

Why not Jump and Charlie?

[Stugats]

That's what I say.

[Greg Cody]

Thank you.

[Billy Gil]

Jc.

[Greg Cody]

Yep.

[Stugats]

Another terrible idea by Billy.

[Greg Cody]

Good idea.

[Billy Gil]

Last week we had the owner of the packers on. You're welcome.

[Stugats]

We have a SUI award winning spree to go through here. I Don't know how winning Greg Cody was here. I don't know who won here, but I'm very excited to listen to just. This is a big deal. Okay, so after this, we're putting the SUIS behind, which means football straight ahead. And the next few shows are going to think be dedicated to whatever it is that Pablo is doing tomorrow because Pablo is Pablo ing and I'm working.

[Billy Gil]

On that, by the way.

[Stugats]

You're working on that story.

[Billy Gil]

I'm a journalist and look, it didn't quite work out the way that I wanted to, but I almost scooped Cody.

[Dan Le Batard]

No.

[Stugats]

Well, we got outsmarted by Greg Cody and he. Yeah, that was unbelievable. We didn't celebrate that enough. We got outsmarted.

[Billy Gil]

One for you, old man.

[Stugats]

Who is for you slow and dim witted. When it comes to technology, you're never.

[Mike Ryan]

Going to get it. You're a have not.

[Billy Gil]

I'm trying though. I have source.

[Mike Ryan]

Have not.

[Stugats]

You have till tomorrow at 9am otherwise I'm working it. Okay, we've got all of the SUI winners. What are you looking at? What are you looking at? Billy, what are you saying?

[Billy Gil]

I'm a half Now What?

[Greg Cody]

Whoa.

[Billy Gil]

I'm a have.

[Greg Cody]

Spill it, Spill it.

[Billy Gil]

I'm a have. Just get to the sueys. I'm a have.

[Stugats]

Here are the suey winners right now.

[Billy Gil]

The winners of the sueys.

[Greg Cody]

And now the winners of the 2025 SUI Awards presented by Miller Lite. Best dismissal. Billy Gill dismisses. Europe.

[Billy Gil]

Europe sucks. I don't know if you're aware of this, like we keep saying, like, well, in Europe this would. Europe is terrible. Which is why all of us left Europe. That's why everybody's here in America. Because everyone decided, you know what? Europe is terrible. Like the English decided, the Spaniards decided, the Italians decided. Every single person came together at one point in time and said, you know what, we may not disagree on a lot of things, but we can all agree Europe sucks. Let's just jump on this boat and see where it takes us because we can't be here anymore because Europe again, terrible. No air conditioning. Everything is old horrible. All they do is try to steal American culture and tell you all of their old crap is so great. Europe terrible. And it takes forever to get there. Forever to get there. If I'm boarding a plane for eight hours, Europe better not be where I'm landing best.

[Greg Cody]

Back in my day, cruise ships didn't deserve to win. Anything more strenuous on a cruise than playing a couple of holes of mini golf, watching my wife lose at bingo, getting annoyed during some trivia contest or praying at the roulette wheel. One other thing. It's not a Broadway or a Cirque du Soleil. I'm on a big slow boat. I don't need a concert or a show production. Just give me an open buffet and a bar every 25ft. Make cruise ships dull again. I'm Greg Cody. And that's how it was back in my day. Most uncomfortable moment. Dan Lebatard asks NASCAR driver Ryan Blaney, what is the worst part of the life?

[Stugats]

What is the worst part of the life?

[Dan Le Batard]

The worst part?

[Billy Gil]

Wrecking. That sucks.

[Dan Le Batard]

That's a good answer. That sucks.

[Greg Cody]

Like that's the worst thing ever. Best story. David Sampson gave a sermon at a black church.

[Billy Gil]

I needed their support for public money, for the ballpark.

[Mike Ryan]

So hold on.

[Billy Gil]

I was the only white guy in there.

[Stugats]

Jewish.

[Billy Gil]

I am Jewish. I am white.

[Stugats]

The. The white is.

[Billy Gil]

How did you. Okay, so how did you dress? How I dressed is. I went to visit a black tailor. Hold on.

[Stugats]

No.

[Billy Gil]

And I had a suit made for me by Andre Dawson's tailor. So I looked like Andre Dawson. And it was awesome. I had a consigliere who was Cuban and we had a plan of all the different people we had to get votes from.

[Stugats]

So we went to the Cubans, we.

[Billy Gil]

Went to the non Cuban establishment. 100%. I had to go get one more. Recently made a guy of Ada Best Stugarts.

[Greg Cody]

Dismissal. David Sampson. Way too much.

[Billy Gil]

David.

[Stugats]

By the way, I came in here.

[Billy Gil]

Thinking Greg Cody was going to be a Greg Cody. Tuesdays I left five, six weeks ago.

[Dan Le Batard]

And it was Greg, Greg Cody every Tuesday.

[Billy Gil]

And now we replace that with who's.

[Stugats]

Asking for More Samson.

[Dan Le Batard]

Wow.

[Billy Gil]

Nobody is the answer.

[Greg Cody]

Best revelation. Dan Lebatard's parents once had sex with him under the bed.

[Stugats]

You don't understand the way that you're triggering for me the memory of being under my parents bed when they were having. Well, I didn't know what sex was at the time. The. The bed was just a rockin. This is your first. This is your ultimate core memory.

[Mike Ryan]

I think this is.

[Stugats]

Has driven everything. But this is the thing. It's been buried for 50 years. I've got.

[Dan Le Batard]

How long did it last? I've got no memory.

[Stugats]

It was very short. But I didn't.

[Dan Le Batard]

I.

[Stugats]

That's in retro. I didn't know what they were doing. I didn't know what they were doing. Why is the bedrocking. I mean, look, for me it wasn't even discussed. That was in retrospect. At the moment it was just fear. These are not small people. The bed is rocking. I'm under it.

[Greg Cody]

Worst of the best musical performance, Taylor Vipulous. Fire Mack Brown.

[Stugats]

Well, I'd fire Mack Brown.

[Mike Ryan]

Yeah.

[Stugats]

I'd fire Mac Brown. Watching this team is my personal hell, yeah, I'd fire Mac Brown.

[Greg Cody]

Worst mistake, Greg Cody thinks he Watched Wilt Chamberlain's 100 point game. That wasn't televised. Wilt Chamberlain's 100 point game. I was seven years old watching on a black and white Sylvania television set.

[Stugats]

This is a great. This is a great story here.

[Billy Gil]

I thought it was like famously not televised.

[Stugats]

I don't think we have seen video proof of him scoring the 100, have we?

[Greg Cody]

Yeah, it was. It was. He held up a sign after the game.

[Stugats]

No, but that's not the same. That's all.

[Billy Gil]

I think there's a Mandela effect going on.

[Dan Le Batard]

Yeah.

[Greg Cody]

I think you think that's a conspiracy theory.

[Stugats]

I think it wasn't televised or something.

[Greg Cody]

Telling you, I watched it on tv.

[Stugats]

No, I don't trust you couldn't have watched it on tv.

[Billy Gil]

According to the Library of Congress, the amazing performance wasn't televised. And there's no videotape of the game. Only a Philadelphia radio station broadcast. You're full of it.

[Stugats]

You're just making that memory.

[Greg Cody]

Maybe it's a figment of my imagination. Best laugh, Charlotte Wilder. Best musical performance, Rose and Yeti Blanc. Pepper sprayed Rose.

[Dan Le Batard]

There was no need for pepper spray to be rained on me. I sustained oh, our time. Left eye injury. Ohio State.

[Mike Ryan]

Such drama.

[Dan Le Batard]

You lost.

[Greg Cody]

That's the deal.

[Dan Le Batard]

The video clearly shows with my eye almost black. There's Harry and Lucy laughing.

[Stugats]

Baby, I can tell you that I'm pissed that in Rose with a spray. Oh, she sounded like a goose. Was stepped on with heels. Yeah. Even though Rose was in June.

[Greg Cody]

Ms. Harry and Lucy laughing.

[Dan Le Batard]

Even though I wasn't doomed. There's Harry and Lucy laughing.

[Greg Cody]

Best limited fake, unknown listeners. Limited fake. Steve from Sex and the City.

[Mike Ryan]

Miranda.

[Stugats]

No, that was from the only me.

[Billy Gil]

And Mike did so many good limited fakes this year.

[Greg Cody]

And just this call. Miranda.

[Mike Ryan]

Oh, a juggernaut. Deserved every bit of that.

[Stugats]

It did. I left thinking that would win in a landslide. It did not win in the biggest landslide. That was Greg Cody's back in my day. Everyone picked that one. He was also the only one in that category.

[Greg Cody]

Appreciate all your support.

[Stugats]

And it wasn't the best one. He just hasn't done very many in the last four years. But you can buy his book a lazy recycling of all previous back in my days.

[Billy Gil]

What's up listeners? I don't know about you but when I was a kid I certainly dreamed big. I think when we were all kids we dreamed big whether we wanted to be astronauts, presidents. Personally I wanted to be a pitcher for the then Florida Marlins. Now we're dreaming of something else like owning our own businesses. But let's be honest, launching it is total chaos. Websites and shipping. Your cousin who wants to collab it's a mess. That's where Shopify comes in. They power 10% of all E commerce in the United States from brands like Mattel to your aunt's candleshop. Can't design a site? Shopify's got ready to go templates. Need help writing copy or touching up pics or AI tools? Want customers built in email and social tools? And if you get stuck 24. 7 support real award winning human beings. Turn those dreams into and give them the best shot at success with Shopify. Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at shopify.com batard go to shopify.com, shopify.com.

[Mike Ryan]

Howdy folks, it's Mike Ryan. It's also NFL season. Lots of big time matchups. You know your boy is an NFL free agent so he's looking all across that NFL schedule for the very best games. And when I do, my very first and only stop is the gametime app. Because the gametime app gives the advantage back to the fans. It's a hack for unlocking amazing tickets and experiences in just a few taps. It's incredibly easy to use and the game time guarantee means that you can trust that you'll get a 100% authentic tickets on time and at the very best price. Plus fees are always included. So what you see is what you pay. You have incredible features such as zone deals. You get to save even more when you choose a section and let gametime choose the seats. You get panoramic seat views. If you know nothing about the venue you're about to buy tickets for, this is a huge tool. Take the guesswork out of buying NFL tickets with GameTime. Download the GameTime app, create an account and use code DAN for $20 off your first purchase terms. Apply again, create an account and redeem code dan for $20 off swipe tap ticket. Go download the gametime app today I want to talk about home security for a minute. For the longest time I thought it was just alarms and sirens that once somebody breaks in you deal with it. But when you Think about it. That's already too late. That's reactive. I had my car broken into on my property a while back. The only thing I could do was call 911. That's reactive. I don't like leaving things up to chance. That's why I decided to install Simplisafe.

[Billy Gil]

Why?

[Mike Ryan]

Because they flipped the idea of home security by making it proactive. Their Active Guard Outdoor Protection uses AI powered cameras to actually identify people lurking around your property. And here's the key. Simplisafe's monitoring agents step in before anything goes down. They'll talk directly to intruders through the camera, light them up with spotlights, and even call the cops if they need to. That's not reacting. That's stopping crime before it starts. No contracts, no hidden fees. That's why they've been named best home security system by U.S. news & World Report five years in a row. And they back it up with a 60 day money back guarantee. Simplisafe is offering Le baton show listeners 50% off a new system with professional monitoring. Plus your first month is free. Visit simplisafe.com DLB to claim the offer. That's simplisafe.com DLB there's no safe like SimpliSafe.

[Billy Gil]

Dan Levatard. My algorithm on Instagram is Dan. It's all boobs.

[Mike Ryan]

Stugats.

[Billy Gil]

It's a good algorithm. This is the Dan Levatar show with the Stugats.

[Greg Cody]

Special. Congratulations to Yeti Blanc of the Greg Cody show podcast, who along with Rose won that song. What a beautiful song. Rose has a beautiful voice. Daddy always great. It was just terrific. Thank you.

[Stugats]

All deserving winners, especially that one. Belichick's record with Tom Brady. 249, 75 and six Super bowl titles without Tom Brady. 84 and 103. Sucks. In the last four seasons after Brady left in New England, he was 29 and 38.

[Billy Gil]

Dude, it's so washed. I love it. I love watching him there on the sideline with that stupid face. Face is pretty stupid when you're losing.

[Greg Cody]

I think there's probably a pretty good, pretty good correlation though, that any successful coach is going to have a better record with the superstar quarterback than he does without the superstar quarterback.

[Stugats]

Is your face stupider? Put it on the poll at Lebatard show. Is Bill Belichick's face stupider now that he's losing?

[Billy Gil]

Wouldn't he much rather just like be on the beach doing aerobics and whatever he was doing with Jordan where he's like holding her up and she's like pretending to fly, then coach North Carolina. You see, Jordan was in the, you know, in the box, in the suite before the game, and she's got the giant super bowl ring. She's wearing Belichick's giant Super bowl ring. You got to take that off after the 75 yard run, beginning of the third, right? She earned it.

[Stugats]

Amino Hassan is with us now, and I don't know that people can get quite enough of Bill Belichick's misery. It is interesting to watch this kind of karma befall him as Tom Brady signs a deal with Fox where he gets to do a job that he can be bad at and paid $375 million for it. More than he made during his playing career. Which is. It's just insane when you think about what it is that Tom Brady has parlayed all that into and what Belichick presently is mired in.

[Billy Gil]

The joke's on you guys thinking that you're enjoying his misery because no one enjoys Bill Belichick's misery more than Bill Belichick does.

[Stugats]

Put it on the poll. Let's start. Will Belichick enjoy his misery even more than the rest of us do? He does like to be miserable. So maybe that's the answer to your question. Why isn't he on a beach somewhere doing aerobics? Cuz he'd rather be in the game plan trying to figure out how not to lose by allowing 48 points. Amin, are you ready to do your weekend observations here? Are you ready to get out of the gate with that? Or do you need to promote what can we say? Because there's a big controversy here about haves and have nots, and I don't think a lot of people are allowed to know much of anything about what it is that you and Pablo Torre are doing tomorrow and others. But look at the smile on his face. He knows something the rest of us don't. And he loves when that's the case.

[Dan Le Batard]

Actually, I hate it then, because every waking moment of my life, I have to fight myself from revealing this amazing story. Matter of fact, that text that you, me and Sullivan were on this morning, it got me a little bit of relief because finally I could talk to somebody else about this amazing story. Billy, I don't think you were on the text thread, though.

[Billy Gil]

No, but I'm a have now. I have this right here. And if you want to, I just almost quickly turn up.

[Stugats]

Be careful. We're not joking. This is not a joke. Pablo is.

[Billy Gil]

Pablo, I mean's Involvement implies it's basketball related.

[Greg Cody]

That's what I figured.

[Mike Ryan]

What is Samson's involvement now?

[Stugats]

Sampson's involved basketball and baseball.

[Mike Ryan]

Basketball.

[Stugats]

Aha. Perhaps it requires some executive expertise of some sort. But what can you tell us? Will this be yes or no? This will be a bigger story than all of the reporting that Pablo did on Jordan and Belichick.

[Dan Le Batard]

Oh, for sure. I mean, it look a bigger sports story, obviously. The relationship angle, the age differential. There's always going to be something tabloidy and People magazine that's going to draw eyeballs to that story. But in terms of sports, this is bigger than the Malik Beasley story. This is bigger than the NFL stuff, because this is something that is going to impact, I think, sports immediately, not like, oh, big picture. How crazy was that? This is something that right now they're going to be ramifications. I'm.

[Mike Ryan]

I'm nervous about this now. We're naturally predisposed to reduce expectations.

[Greg Cody]

We're overselling now.

[Billy Gil]

And now you're building this up.

[Mike Ryan]

I don't even think we should run this episode. It's big enough.

[Dan Le Batard]

Yeah, you know what? You're right. Let's not ever release it. Let's just talk about it. Like, skirting around Pablo does that.

[Stugats]

Pablo did that with Ezra Edelman. And a Pablo Tory finds out where. They're talking about a Prince documentary. Like, 12 people got to watch because Prince's estate. Estate took it all away. So it's a huge. Hugely. It's more interesting than the OJ documentary. And 12 people have seen it.

[Dan Le Batard]

I like the way you said estate. It sounds like the way Zaz says Thai food estate.

[Stugats]

Are you ready to do Weekend Observations?

[Dan Le Batard]

I'm born ready.

[Stugats]

Oh, really? Okay.

[Billy Gil]

It is time for.

[Stugats]

I mean, to share his game notes. No one in the media will tell you what happened better than my boy. I mean.

[Dan Le Batard]

Weekend Observations is presented by Miller Light. Dan. It's been so long since I experienced it, I'd forgotten what it was like. The unmistakable aroma, the distinct flavor, the bolt of energy that shoots through your body the second the first drop hits your tongue. And just like that, make no mistake, football tear tasting season is back.

[Greg Cody]

Yes.

[Dan Le Batard]

Almost as delicious as a cold Miller Light. Where do I start? Let's see. All right. Oh. He was supposed to be the messiah. He was supposed to be the savior. But the savvy among us always knew he was a fraud. And when the spotlight was brightest, we wilted. I'm talking, of course, about Lionel Messi. No, See that, Dan? Yeah. No fraud did. Shero was Right. No. Mike Ryan's tears taste amazing. A little misdirection for you guys there. I know what you guys thought I was going to talk about.

[Stugats]

Right in his face saying he's turned on the team, and Mike had no rebuttals. Zazzle right in his face, saying he is out.

[Billy Gil]

I'll say it right in your face.

[Mike Ryan]

I don't care that it's football season and everybody's out. I didn't watch a second of that game.

[Dan Le Batard]

Well, you still have tears, though.

[Stugats]

I mean, were you the most. Were you the most famous fan? Excuse me, I want to get back to this, but were you the most famous fan at the Georgia Tech game? A big victory for you this weekend.

[Dan Le Batard]

We've got a lot, a lot to get to.

[Stugats]

Okay, I'm sorry. Sorry, sorry, sorry.

[Dan Le Batard]

All right. Seriously, though. We were obsessed about this one guy the entire off season. We awaited his debut with bated breath death. He was hyped like no other on any other program could be, including this one. Only for him to lay a huge wet fart on the big stage. I'm speaking, of course, A Bill Belichick McDan would shut up at how this guy was coming to college football to take all their stuff. You're right, Dan. Bill came and took an ass whooping week one.

[Mike Ryan]

That was certainly stranger than how Dan said his stage.

[Billy Gil]

Something's going around.

[Stugats]

Ben Banshak, what just happened to your voice? Were you losing confidence? I'm always ready. What happened?

[Dan Le Batard]

It's the Internet. The Internet. You know, sometimes Taylor Vipulous, tears give me life. Hi, Taylor. A little bait and switch there. Okay, let's lock in, guys. All right, jokes aside, there was a huge matchup this weekend with national title implications in play. A game featuring a lot of trash talk backed up by a storied legacy and the loud mouth of a particular blonde podcaster who didn't even go to school for the full four years there. And now the trash talk chickens have come to roost. I'm referring to, of course, Michelle Beetle. Well, you guys know she went to Texas.

[Stugats]

You're good. You're good. I mean, you keep getting us off the scent there. I think you're talking about something else, but it's a big mystery.

[Dan Le Batard]

She went to Texas. It wasn't for long, but there are those tears still taste good. Whatever little tears I have from her Texas roots, I love them beads. Arch Manning said Texas didn't have a target on their back. They had lasers on everyone else's. Apparently, he didn't notice the laser pointed right between our eyes. Buckeyes. He talked all that and then went out there, looked clueless.

[Stugats]

He said red dot, though the quote was even better than than laser. I got. We got a red dot on everyone.

[Billy Gil]

Else, it's 30, 38 yards through three quarters. 38 yards and zero points.

[Stugats]

And we got a red.

[Dan Le Batard]

He's got a red dot on his forehead. And they pulled the trigger. Ran a little switcheroo for you guys, huh? But it's time to talk about the biggest game of the weekend, pitting two foes who shared national championship aspirations over 30 years ago. A game that featured another proud alum who didn't attend the school for four years. An alum who had no shortage of trash talk in the repertoire. And with the man, a Costco size delivery of tears produced by this massive victory.

[Greg Cody]

Boom.

[Dan Le Batard]

I'm alluding to, of course, myself. I drank long and deep from tears straight from the mountains of Colorado. How about them jackets? What is it about GT that makes their opponent coaches so dumb? Coach prime holding on to two timeouts as the fourth quarter winds down. I don't blame them, though. It's easy to get blinded by the whites in Colorado. Excuse me. The lights. Seriously, I owe Wrigley Field an apology. Boulder, Colorado made Wrigley Field look like the HBCU Battle the Bands if it took place in the middle of Freaknik in February. The contrast is going from Jackson State to the University of Colorado. Should come with an epilepsy warning. Splashes Top 5 things a game at Colorado is whiter than Oli saying all lives matter. Oli?

[Stugats]

Really?

[Dan Le Batard]

Raisins in your potato salad?

[Stugats]

Really?

[Dan Le Batard]

Number five, the way David Sampson pronounces the word tetas. Number four, saying the words should we watch Friends or the Big Bang Theory? Yes. Number three when hearing a baseball player got called the N word at Fenway, wanting to know what the player said to provoke it. Number two, Christmas at the North Pole. And number one, Taylor Swift dancing.

[Stugats]

Yeah, it really is. It really is.

[Dan Le Batard]

Colorado. A game at Colorado wider than that.

[Stugats]

Put it on the poll, please. Juju should there be raisins in the potato sack?

[Dan Le Batard]

Always a no. And those are the weekend. Oh, wait, hold on. I forgot something. Did I forget a game? Did. Did something happen in Miami this weekend? Wait, did Mike Ryan not only dispense tears but also consume them? Did he consume sweet, sweet Catholic tears? Delicious, nutritious and brewed in the Rust Belt? Mike, did you down those tears and then slam that empty cup on your counter, producing a sound that reverberated throughout Your cavernous kitchen. Did the noise ring off the stainless steel appliances and the tiles in the cabinets? Did the clamor bounce all around your house? What's the word I'm looking for? I guess I'm wondering if your empty cup of tears slammed down on the counter provide the echoes heard throughout South Florida on Sunday night. Also was one Jessica Smatana responsible for providing those fears? Perhaps to the kid at the US Open who lost the autographed hat to the Polish CEO. Welcome to late stage capitalism, kid. Big bank. Take little bank to the Polish CEO who later defended himself by saying, if you were faster, you'd have it. Who got too strong in you. And also, hell awaits. Speaking of hell, Art Briles. Those are the weekend observations.

[Billy Gil]

Don LeBatard doesn't matter anywhere.

[Dan Le Batard]

We could do it in Buffalo or Baltimore. Eva, you say you could do it where?

[Billy Gil]

Anywhere.

[Dan Le Batard]

Oh, whoa. Oh, that's crazy. That's crazy.

[Billy Gil]

That's crazy.

[Dan Le Batard]

He could do it anywhere.

[Mike Ryan]

That's crazy.

[Greg Cody]

Murder.

[Dan Le Batard]

Murder. Tell him st.

[Mike Ryan]

I had no idea Mean had that in his locker.

[Dan Le Batard]

That might be his death.

[Mike Ryan]

That's crazy.

[Dan Le Batard]

I'm not kidding. That's crazy. Killer. It's two America's Dad. You don't get it.

[Billy Gil]

This is the Dan Levatar show with the stugats.

[Stugats]

Put it on the poll at Levitard show. I want to make get the phrasing right. Are Notre Dame tears delicious, nutritious, and what in the Rust Belt? What?

[Dan Le Batard]

Brewed in the Rust Belt and brewed.

[Stugats]

Yes. Are Notre Dame tears delicious, nutritious, and brewed in the Rust Belt? I don't believe she gave us those tears. She said that Carson Beck's touchdown throw. The first one. Was it lucky? He was rolling to his left. He was avoiding.

[Billy Gil]

The second one, I think, was the debate. The first one was awesome.

[Mike Ryan]

Second one was a good throw. I I guys, I don't understand that.

[Billy Gil]

He was so good.

[Stugats]

Yes.

[Dan Le Batard]

I mean, you've been doing this show for 20 years. I gotta teach you guys that when they start making excuses. Oh, that was a lucky throw. That's the definition of tears. That. That shouldn't count. That was a penalty on any kind of thing. That's not. Damn, y' all got me. That's tears. Those are the tears. Put them in my veins. It's peds. It's my pin to Amin is a.

[Stugats]

Big winner this week and Georgia Tech beating Colorado. And Amin. Amin is only around victory when it comes to Georgia Tech football, which has gone from, you know, the, the widowmaker school. Produced an option offense that for 10 years was trying to, in the golden space age of future football, win with the option offense. Them and Navy were the only teams trying to do it. And that team has been, that program has been altered. It's been fixed over the last two years. And are you indeed their most famous non sports fan?

[Dan Le Batard]

I'll tell you, I walked around that stadium, it was me, buddy. I ran into people I hadn't seen in 25 years and they were all like, man, it's crazy what's happened to you since we've known you. And da da. I'm like, guys, guys, I'm still the same guy. I have to remain humble and everything. But deep down inside I was really happy. There are no other famous Georgia Tech alum, just me.

[Stugats]

I wanted to ask you guys, when I saw at the game yesterday, Notre Dame has not won in Sunday. Excuse me. Notre Dame has not won in Miami since 1977. So that's 50 years. It's half a century for what is a really storied program. But over many of those years, they weren't playing like when Andre Johnson was on the sidelines for Miami yesterday. I was wondering if he had ever played against Notre Dame because it was nice to see Steve Walsh and it was nice to see Michael Irvin and some of those people who make their way back. And I'm wondering how many things like that Miami has. Because Miami's not great at history and certainly not sports history. That rivalry is baked and handed down from 20 and 30 years ago. The same way that that Cowboys documentary is something from 30 years ago that people are enjoying on Netflix. Because Miami has a sports thing that is steeped in some sort of history. And Miami has so few of those. Miami has so few history, so little, so few things around anywhere in Miami that is all flash and party is about yesterday. But seeing Steve Walsh at that game made me wonder. Andre Johnson never played in a game like that. Andre Johnson brought back a different time in Miami sports because for two years the Andre Johnson Hurricanes tried to recreate the echoes from 30 years ago. When it's Miami that's got the history here with Notre Dame at the winning.

[Mike Ryan]

Part of it, the Big east kind of ruined that for a little bit. But once Miami joined the ACC and Notre Dame replicated something that they had in the Big east for all their other sports, but the ACC at the very least got them to add appearances against their other powers. And we're going to see this more often, by the way, as a part of a Recalibrated television agreement. Notre Dame's going to be playing Miami a little bit more often. 2017 added to the legacy of that and I think that game on Sunday night added to the legacy. We had great moments. It was one of the greatest catches you'll ever see. Certainly the best catch I think I've ever seen in person. And that C.J. daniels catch, it was a great game, great moments. And they're going to be playing more often and it's a good thing because those two teams getting together is fun.

[Billy Gil]

I loved being able to explain to my younger son while we're sitting on the couch watching the game together Sunday night why this rivalry is a big thing. I mean it's what attracted me to the Hurricanes back in the late 80s was this like my greatest sports going memory was my father taking me in. 89 to the Orange Bowl. Number seven, Miami, number one, Notre Dame. Canes kicked their asses.

[Stugats]

It's so strange to have a Miami thing that has this kind of history. It really is. These are not recent games. The thing that is the celebration of Sunday night, which was college is on the football stage. And for the last Sunday this season, a player like Malachi Toney can become a star because he's the only football player playing on a Sunday. While everyone's waiting for football to arrive and a 17 year old kid is running on the field in a way that alerts everyone. Oh, everyone, not just Miami. Oh, that kid has the potential to be a star. We might be hearing that name a lot more.

[Mike Ryan]

It was also benefiting from the fact that it's really kind of the only game that delivered on the weekend. Even though Texas Ohio State was a close game, it wasn't really great to watch and you got all this excitement to watch big time college football and the games left a little something to be desired to lsu, Clemson.

[Stugats]

Okay.

[Mike Ryan]

But that game was a really good game and it made people. And the fact that it had the tradition behind it only helped and it got people all chipped up.

[Stugats]

It's not recent tradition. Do you know what the juice on a series has to be for it in the modern age to have so much Catholics versus convicts. Wait, this is also about religion and race to have so much of that on the bonfire that those teams haven't played important games against each other recently. Those are. The history of that rivalry is 30 years.

[Mike Ryan]

2017, 2017 did, did mean a lot. That was a tough.

[Billy Gil]

And they played a couple times a few years before that, once in South Bend and once in Chicago. Which were not competitive games.

[Stugats]

Those are the two wins that Miami has against the top 10 program. But Miami is living off of the. Miami is living off of fumes that were so intoxicating there that they carry it into something that we can all say is still a giant rivalry, even though Miami's only two top 10 wins are against Notre Dame since 2017. I mean, why are you taking notes and why are you playing. Why are you taking notes and why are you playing a flute of some sort while I'm talking? We couldn't hear you.

[Dan Le Batard]

It's a slide whistle. And I played it because what was a raucous kind of segment grounded to a halt because we want to talk about something that. That we've talked about for hours and hours of the last 24 hours.

[Stugats]

So what did you want to talk about?

[Mike Ryan]

Haynes King.

[Dan Le Batard]

Haynes King. Oh, no. This guy that speaks my language. How about that? Man, you're running all over that. But why. Why didn't Prime Time call them timeouts, man?

[Mike Ryan]

He's got a no.

[Dan Le Batard]

1.

[Mike Ryan]

Haynes King's got a bed in that locker room. He sleeps at the facility.

[Dan Le Batard]

Let me tell you something. Haynes King was so good, they retired his jersey out of Colorado at halftime time. That. That's how good he was. Is that ridiculous? They got two retired jerseys from guys that played last year. You guys don't think that's odd like this? And, like, Colorado is an odd place? I don't think you guys are fully grasping. I think, oh, yeah, Dion gotta, like, you go there. First of all, I cannot stress how white that place is. I was staggered. I. I thought there would be somebody. But literally every black person that wasn't on the field was basically a Georgia Tech fan, which is crazy because Georgia Tech is hardly this bastion of diversity.

[Stugats]

Right?

[Dan Le Batard]

But then the other thing is the number of people who, like, they all wore, like, the black cowboy hats, like they're trying to be Dion. And it's the weirdest. It's the weirdest kind of imitation, is the form of flattery I've ever seen. I can't think of a head coach that I would want to dress like. But they do in Colorado.

[Stugats]

And you were a big star there that you're. You're a big star with the Georgia. There aren't. There cannot be many Georgia Tech people. There cannot be tons and tons of them around you, are there?

[Dan Le Batard]

There were. There were a lot, man. Boy, there were a lot all over Colorado. Everywhere. In the airport, at the game, in the streets of Boulder, before and after. We ran shit man, we took over their bars. Their bars were like, we're closing. I'm like, it's Friday. College football weekend. What are you talking about? You're closing at 10 o'. Clock. Oh, it's because you got your ass whooped. Man. We were out there and by the way, I wasn't taking notes. I was signing autographs. Which would have been a fun bit had you noticed it immediately. But it took you like seven minutes of talking about, oh, Miami, Notre Dame. Because we haven't talked about this in the enough.

[Billy Gil]

I don't think we have talked about Miami Notre Dame enough. I'm going be honest with you.

[Greg Cody]

Yeah. Why were you signing autographs? Why were you signing autographs?

[Dan Le Batard]

Cuz I'm so famous that still signing autographs.

[Stugats]

So that's a joke. I should have stopped doing our show for so we could have just watched you doing the pantomiming with signing autographs when I thought you were writing on a board.

[Dan Le Batard]

No. Hey, how big of of a game was Miami Notre Dame since 2017? Put in perspective for me again, I don't think I've caught it over the last two weeks of the show.

[Mike Ryan]

You're going to lose your head coach. Alabama.

[Dan Le Batard]

Oh yeah, he's of course, of course. He's too successful. Mike.

[Stugats]

Andrew. Andrew, quarterback. Andrew, quarterback next year.

[Dan Le Batard]

Hold on now.

[Mike Ryan]

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