Hour 2: Tipping The Scales

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz – Hour 2: Tipping The Scales

Episode Details:

• Title: Hour 2: Tipping The Scales
• Release Date: August 4, 2025
• Hosts: Dan Le Batard, Stugotz
• Description: Recorded live from the Elser Hotel in Downtown Miami, Dan Le Batard and Stugotz delve into a myriad of topics ranging from existential questions about life and death to speculative discussions on the future of human consciousness and genetic engineering. Amidst their trademark humor and candid conversations, the hosts explore deep philosophical inquiries, ethical dilemmas, and personal anecdotes, providing listeners with an engaging blend of sports, pop culture, and thought-provoking dialogue.

---

1. Opening Discussions: The Inevitability of Death

The episode kicks off with a profound conversation about the certainty of death and its impact on human perspective.

Dan Le Batard initiates the dialogue:

"[02:02] Dan LeBatard: It's not a point of view. We are all a day closer to dying."

Billy Corben counters with skepticism about this perspective:

"[02:25] Billy Corben: You would think he would base his mood in the context of his football team's preparation for the season. In which case saying you're a day closer to death would be seen perhaps as a negative, as a dark."

The discussion delves into whether acknowledging mortality can influence one's daily outlook and motivation.

---

2. Exploring Immortality: Consciousness Uploading and Cryogenic Freezing

The conversation transitions to the concept of eternal life through technological advancements.

Mike Ryan poses an intriguing question:

"[03:14] Mike Ryan: What do you think about human consciousness and if it could be essentially downloaded and you can live forever?"

Dan Le Batard responds with enthusiasm for the idea:

"[03:20] Dan LeBatard: I would do it. I'd like to freeze myself."

The hosts debate the feasibility and desirability of consciousness transfer and cryogenic preservation, touching upon personal beliefs and potential societal implications.

Dan further elaborates on his stance:

"[05:50] Dan LeBatard: I believe the whole frozen thing, if it works right, you can be frozen when you're 80 because it doesn't matter. By the time you unfreeze, there'll be the de-aging process."

---

3. Ethical and Theological Implications

The discussion naturally shifts to the ethical and religious considerations surrounding these futuristic technologies.

Dan Le Batard brings up his Jewish faith and its stance:

"[06:14] Dan LeBatard: I have to talk to the rabbi because you got to double check it's straight belt and suspenders, because generally I'm going to do what I want to do anyway."

Chris Cody raises pertinent questions:

"[07:05] Dan LeBatard: The odds are it's just your spirit, your soul, but I think the odds are horse hockey."

The hosts ponder whether religious doctrines can accommodate such radical changes to human existence, highlighting the tension between faith and technological progress.

---

4. Genetic Engineering and Hybrid Creatures

A speculative segment ensues, focusing on the possibilities and perils of gene splicing to create hybrid beings.

Mike Ryan probes the practicality:

"[18:11] Dan LeBatard: It took 10 seconds, Billy."

Dan Le Batard expresses support for genetic advancements:

"[19:08] Dan LeBatard: If it can help cure disease or if it can help advance us in any way. How would you not be?"

The conversation navigates through fictional scenarios, such as human-animal hybrids, discussing their potential societal roles and the technical challenges involved.

Dan emphasizes feasibility and ethical boundaries:

"[36:07] Mike Ryan: Or the premise itself is bad."

---

5. Personal Anecdotes and Light-hearted Banter

Amidst heavy topics, the hosts intersperse personal stories and humorous exchanges to maintain an engaging atmosphere.

Dan Le Batard shares a nostalgic memory:

"[16:14] Dan LeBatard: Let me get this straight, David. You. You've never urinated during a marathon?"

Izzy Gutierrez contributes with relatable experiences:

"[30:33] Izzy Gutierrez: Please don't ever look me in the face if you're peeing in a pool with me. I want to look up, look away, do something else."

These lighter moments provide a balance to the deep discussions, showcasing the hosts' chemistry and camaraderie.

---

6. Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Dan Le Batard on Mortality:

  "[02:02] Dan LeBatard: We are all a day closer to dying."

• Dan Le Batard on Immortality:

  "[05:50] Dan LeBatard: I believe the whole frozen thing, if it works right, you can be frozen when you're 80."

• Dan Le Batard on Ethical Considerations:

  "[19:08] Dan LeBatard: If it can help cure disease or if it can help advance us in any way. How would you not be?"

• Dan Le Batard on Personal Dispositions:

  "[44:48] Dan LeBatard: The only thing I'm scared of is dildos. That's it."

---

7. Conclusion: Navigating the Future with Humor and Caution

As the episode draws to a close, the hosts reflect on the discussions, blending humor with genuine contemplation about the future of humanity.

Dan Le Batard reassures listeners with a mix of humor and sincerity:

"[45:08] Dan LeBatard: I think we're all gonna be okay."

The episode encapsulates a rich tapestry of dialogue, balancing existential musings with everyday banter, ultimately presenting a thought-provoking yet entertaining exploration of profound topics.

---

Final Thoughts: "Hour 2: Tipping The Scales" serves as a compelling episode that challenges listeners to ponder the boundaries of life, death, and what lies beyond. Through engaging conversations, the hosts invite audiences to reflect on technological advancements, ethical dilemmas, and personal beliefs, all while maintaining their signature wit and relatability.

Transcript

[Dan LeBatard]

Close your eyes, exhale, Feel your body relax and let go of whatever you're carrying today. Well, I'm letting go of the worry that I wouldn't get my new contacts in time for this class. I got them delivered free from 1-800-contacts. Oh my gosh, they're so fast. And breathe.

[Stugatz]

Oh, sorry.

[Dan LeBatard]

I almost couldn't breathe when I saw the discount they gave me on my first order. Oh, sorry.

[Stugatz]

Namaste. Visit 1-800-contacts.com today to save on your first order.

[Mike Ryan]

1-800-Contacts.

[Stugatz]

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[Greg Cote]

This episode is brought to you by State Farm. Life gets easier with great assists and State Farm is here to dish one your way. Get in touch over the phone or on the app. To get the teammate you need State Farm with the assist. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Coverage options are selected by the customer. Availability and eligibility vary by state.

[Mike Ryan]

This is the Dan Levator show with the Stugats podcast.

[Billy Corben]

All right, guys.

[David Samson]

Mike McDaniel spoke today. I thought that he said something that was pretty poignant in these very difficult times. This is how he started off the presser today.

[Mike Ryan]

Good morning.

[Greg Cote]

False.

[Mike Ryan]

Great morning.

[Dan LeBatard]

Let's go. Why great?

[Billy Corben]

What makes us great?

[Chris Cody]

Because we're another day closer to death.

[Dan LeBatard]

Greg.

[Billy Corben]

There you go.

[David Samson]

Just want to leave that off on your lap there. Great morning. Because we're closer to death. That's your coach.

[Billy Corben]

Deny the truth of that. I mean, it's a point of view.

[Dan LeBatard]

It's not a point of view. We are all a day closer to dying. But that doesn't make it a great morning. I don't believe the morning should be based on whether or not you're closer to death. You can't base your mood on something that's a certainty.

[Billy Corben]

You would think he would base his mood in the context of his football team's preparation for the season. In which case saying you're a day closer to death would be seen perhaps as a negative, as a dark.

[Izzy Gutierrez]

That's only if you don't know what's on the other side. Maybe Mike has more info, but then.

[Dan LeBatard]

You could get Yourself there faster now.

[Izzy Gutierrez]

Then you don't go to that place.

[Mike Ryan]

What if it's the whole point? Yeah, what if it's nothing?

[Billy Corben]

Then it's nothing.

[Izzy Gutierrez]

Then you're not going to be around to complain.

[Dan LeBatard]

That's what scares the crap out of me.

[Billy Corben]

Really?

[Dan LeBatard]

The permanent nothingness.

[Izzy Gutierrez]

You will never get confirmation on that because you will never have a conscience to tell you. Ah, shit. It's nothing.

[Mike Ryan]

But if we knew it was nothing, do we just turn into a hedonistic society?

[Dan LeBatard]

That's like saying that if you knew the world was ending tomorrow, would you not do your homework?

[Mike Ryan]

I wouldn't. I wouldn't.

[Billy Corben]

Yeah.

[Mike Ryan]

No.

[David Samson]

Screw homework.

[Dan LeBatard]

When you think there's. Oh, you didn't have this growing up in the Northeast, we had the snow day thing, that if you thought a snow day was coming, you could not do your homework. And then you wake up, you look out, and it's the opposite of Groundhog Day. There's no snow on the ground, and you're totally screwed. And you have to do it on the bus.

[Mike Ryan]

What do you think about human consciousness and if it could be essentially downloaded and you can live forever?

[Dan LeBatard]

I would do it. I'd like to freeze myself.

[Mike Ryan]

Yeah, shoot.

[David Samson]

So you can see the time capsule, like Ted Williams.

[Dan LeBatard]

Well. Or Walt Disney.

[Mike Ryan]

Would you like to have your head still attached to your body?

[Dan LeBatard]

Yes. The reason I'm not gonna get cremated, A, as a Jewish person, you don't get cremated. But B, Ruling Class, to me, that rules. Are you getting cremated?

[Mike Ryan]

I don't know. I think I'd like to try that. My human consciousness gets downloaded into, like, a black mirror.

[David Samson]

Like a black mirror.

[Mike Ryan]

Yeah. I think I'd like. I'd like to try that out.

[Billy Corben]

Yeah. How do you download human consciousness?

[David Samson]

Good question.

[Mike Ryan]

How many gigs is that? I mean, we're already.

[Dan LeBatard]

Depends on the person chips. There's some people, like a Kardashian, like, it takes up, like, one little tiny thing.

[Mike Ryan]

I think this is a thing that will happen. Maybe not your lifetime, but perhaps my generation.

[Chris Cody]

But if he's frozen, it will happen in his life?

[Mike Ryan]

No, he's got. I guess it can thaw him out. So they can download his consciousness?

[Dan LeBatard]

Well, no. You only get thawed when you can live again. That's the whole purpose of being frozen.

[Billy Corben]

Right.

[Dan LeBatard]

I'm not being unfrozen, like, to then die again. I'm being unfrozen, so there's no dying.

[Chris Cody]

When are you gonna freeze yourself? Like, are you gonna freeze yourself soon? So, like, when you come back to life, you're still like, you have years left. Because if you wait till you're like 80 to freeze yourself.

[Dan LeBatard]

I don't want to be 80.

[Mike Ryan]

Great question.

[Chris Cody]

Okay, so then like, are you gonna. I'm not super familiar with the freezing process, but would you in a sense end your own life to be unfrozen later on at a younger age or.

[Izzy Gutierrez]

Would that be your 80th birthday party?

[Mike Ryan]

Right. You're saying you don't want to be 80, but Johnny, I don't want to be frozen 80.

[Dan LeBatard]

No, I want to live to be.

[Mike Ryan]

John Spartan in Demolition man froze himself, but was referred to as caveman because he was older.

[Chris Cody]

Wait, if you freeze yourself at 65 and then you unfreeze yourself 100 years from now, are you 165 or you 66?

[Mike Ryan]

Oh, great question. Follow up to that. How would you date? Would you date within someone in your age range for how you look? Or would you date somebody kind of like age appropriate?

[Chris Cody]

What if in 100 years we're having sex with fish? Would you then like, you're like a 65 year old. You're like, whoa, I would never have fish. But like at 165 it's normal. So you're like, now I need to try new things.

[Mike Ryan]

Answer his question first. About having sex with fish?

[Chris Cody]

Yeah. Would you?

[Dan LeBatard]

I don't want to answer that question because it's inappropriate.

[Mike Ryan]

How old is the fish?

[Chris Cody]

Not in 165 years.

[Mike Ryan]

Barracuda. Is it an 80 year old fish in the blowhood?

[Dan LeBatard]

It can be a swordfish.

[Mike Ryan]

Would you identify as a 50 year old even though you're 80? Would you all of a sudden be attracted to 80 year olds?

[Dan LeBatard]

What's wrong with these people?

[Billy Corben]

Would you be frozen? Live on Nothing personal, just for the download.

[Dan LeBatard]

Wow.

[Mike Ryan]

W. Oh, the clicks.

[Dan LeBatard]

Now we're talking.

[Billy Corben]

There you go.

[Dan LeBatard]

I believe the whole frozen thing, if it works right, you can be frozen when you're 80 because it doesn't matter. By the time you unfreeze, there'll be the de aging process.

[Mike Ryan]

Okay.

[Dan LeBatard]

And you can get back to being.

[Mike Ryan]

Have you talked to anybody about this? Have you made serious Right to the rabbi. What did he say?

[Dan LeBatard]

Can't do it.

[Mike Ryan]

Yeah. There's all the human consciousness and the cryogenic freezing. It does kind of really challenged theologies.

[Chris Cody]

Next time you talk to the rabbi, you're going to ask about the fish or.

[Dan LeBatard]

No, no, I meet the rabbi often, like before I got my first tattoo. Met the rabbi before when I wanted to think about the whole frozen thing. Cremation, where Am I going to do rabbi? You got to talk to the rabbi because you got to double check it's straight belt and suspenders, because generally I'm going to do what I want to do anyway. But you'd like to have the rapper.

[Mike Ryan]

I was raised the type of Christian that cremation was kind of looked down upon.

[Dan LeBatard]

Like Jews that we don't cremate.

[Mike Ryan]

At a certain point, we're resurrected, and I'd like to have my body for that.

[Dan LeBatard]

The odds are it's just your spirit, your soul, but I think the odds are horse hockey.

[Mike Ryan]

So is that what they put when they download your consciousness, your spirit and your soul?

[Dan LeBatard]

I never, until today can we get.

[David Samson]

Souls the same thing.

[Mike Ryan]

All right, get me a cryogenic expert and someone that can talk about downloading my human consciousness so I can look.

[David Samson]

How about spirit or soul?

[Mike Ryan]

These are questions that I have for them.

[Chris Cody]

What if you already, marine biologist, were reincarnated into David Sampson's body, but you haven't reached that point in your life yet where you've got into the, you know, the process of that. Like, you don't know that this already exists because you haven't learned that yet in this version of David Sampson.

[Dan LeBatard]

Chances are that I have a lot of learning left to do in my time, and I will keep learning until I can't learn anymore.

[Izzy Gutierrez]

I just learned the belts and suspenders thing. I didn't realize that was a saying. And I was like, wait a second. Unnecessary. You don't need both. But now I get it. It's sort of being overly cautious. I'm not a business guy, David. I don't know if you knew that.

[Mike Ryan]

No.

[Dan LeBatard]

But Bell suspenders is not a business.

[Mike Ryan]

That's a Google search, that kind of thing.

[Dan LeBatard]

You never heard spenders, Greg?

[Mike Ryan]

Wow.

[Dan LeBatard]

I have heard having a terrible day.

[Mike Ryan]

No.

[Billy Corben]

I have heard that Howard Snellenberger was always a belt and suspenders guy.

[Dan LeBatard]

Google actually worked. And suspenders. That's not what the expression is for.

[Billy Corben]

What is it for?

[Dan LeBatard]

It's that you don't need to do something because it's belt and suspenders, meaning it's.

[Billy Corben]

It's superfluous.

[Izzy Gutierrez]

Let me read it for you, Greg. It says in business. That's why I said in business. The phrase belt and suspenders signifies a conservative and cautious approach that involves implementing redundant layers of protection or safety measures to minimize risks.

[Dan LeBatard]

So I don't have as belt and suspenders the fact that the pilot and the co pilot have the same buttons in the same screen. I have that as, as a Duplication. That's necessary to me. Belt spenders is not necessary.

[Unknown]

Right.

[Izzy Gutierrez]

That's pretty much what I read. Being overly cautious.

[Dan LeBatard]

I. But so it's. It's. Yes. Like planes. Not overly cautious.

[Billy Corben]

Right.

[Dan LeBatard]

When. When being frozen. Like having two people there to make sure that you're frozen properly. Not overly.

[Mike Ryan]

This is all a fine distraction, but are you this fish or not?

[Chris Cody]

That's what I'm wondering, Mike.

[Dan LeBatard]

Why are you creating extra work for people?

[Mike Ryan]

But like if there are only fish people and you're reintroduced to society and it's become societally acceptable to bang a.

[Chris Cody]

Fish person in 100 years and do.

[Mike Ryan]

You bang that fish?

[Izzy Gutierrez]

And is that how mermaids are made?

[Chris Cody]

That is a great question.

[Mike Ryan]

Excellent question.

[Dan LeBatard]

I thought that there was a whole thing with a dog. The way you get is a dog and a bark.

[Mike Ryan]

We're not. We're not banging dog.

[Chris Cody]

Pitbull. Just a stage name.

[Izzy Gutierrez]

Dolly Bcl Dogfish is a beer.

[Dan LeBatard]

No, I'm telling you that there's a thing where you combine two animals, they make a third animal.

[Mike Ryan]

The island of Dr. Moreau.

[Dan LeBatard]

No, it's not a book. It's an actual thing of breeding.

[Chris Cody]

Are you talking about.

[Dan LeBatard]

Think of it.

[Mike Ryan]

You're talking about ligers like humans.

[Dan LeBatard]

Not. Not humans. What are the two animals that after they do it, a third animal comes out.

[Billy Corben]

Every animal, a horse and a donkey can mate.

[Dan LeBatard]

And what do they make?

[Billy Corben]

I forget the name of it.

[Dan LeBatard]

But we're going to get. We need to find this out. And I'm not going to. I don't want to do dance or whatever.

[Chris Cody]

What are we talking.

[Mike Ryan]

Is that what happened with the platypus?

[Dan LeBatard]

I'm just saying that I did an.

[Mike Ryan]

Honor and a duck. Get it on.

[Chris Cody]

But 100 years from now, when kind of. What's going on? Yeah, not that it's not acceptable now. I mean if you want to, you know.

[Dan LeBatard]

How about Darryl Fish? Go ahead live on the air. How about Daryl Hannah?

[Chris Cody]

Who is that?

[Izzy Gutierrez]

That's some kind of flash.

[Mike Ryan]

Is that Daryl Hannah?

[Chris Cody]

Kyle Stars went NL player of the month.

[Dan LeBatard]

He should have.

[Mike Ryan]

That was Daryl.

[Chris Cody]

Who is that on the phone you.

[Mike Ryan]

Had Siri called Daryl Hannah.

[Chris Cody]

Ask about the fish.

[Dan LeBatard]

I like Daryl Hannah. I've always liked Darryl Hannah.

[Izzy Gutierrez]

Do people even get that reference? I mean Splash is an old movie.

[Dan LeBatard]

Oh no. Did I do it day one four hours in gender.

[Mike Ryan]

Gender neutral name Daryl Hannah. Also if she were her character and Splash species neutral too. I'm sure you would have no problem if, you know, got a couple beers in you saying they yeah. You'd kick the tires on old Daryl Hannah as a mermaid.

[Chris Cody]

Yeah. You'd do a mermaid for sure.

[Dan LeBatard]

I do more than kick the tires. I was in love with Daryl Hannah as a mermaid? Yes.

[Mike Ryan]

In the tank, brother. You would 100%.

[Izzy Gutierrez]

Look at that. He just admitted it, basically.

[Dan LeBatard]

Oh, let's not misunderstand. I would marry a mermaid if it meant that I could live underwater and that when they were above water, there were legs and below water they could swim. And you could make love to both a fish and a human.

[Mike Ryan]

But what?

[Dan LeBatard]

Wouldn't sign.

[Mike Ryan]

All right. But. All right, let's. Let's push this out a little bit more.

[Chris Cody]

Thank you, Mike.

[Mike Ryan]

Top part human, bottom part fishy.

[Izzy Gutierrez]

Where are you putting.

[Dan LeBatard]

Scales?

[Chris Cody]

What about an elegant shark?

[Dan LeBatard]

I'm Jewish. I can make it work between scales.

[Billy Corben]

How would the rabbi feel about that?

[Chris Cody]

That's a good question.

[Billy Corben]

Yeah.

[David Samson]

What does the big guy say?

[Dan LeBatard]

Scales. Kosher.

[Mike Ryan]

Can you run this scales?

[Dan LeBatard]

Let's make sure we're on the same.

[Mike Ryan]

Run this by your rabbi.

[Dan LeBatard]

Yeah, it is.

[Mike Ryan]

It's a dystopian kosher.

[Dan LeBatard]

I didn't say that. I would do an octopus or a shrimp or a crab. I'm talking about a scaled fish, not a bottom feeder. Daryl Hannah was not a bottom feeder. You're not gonna.

[Chris Cody]

What's wrong with the lobster being a bit fierce?

[Dan LeBatard]

You can't do a bottom feeder. Oh, not kosher. Look it up, Izzy. That's kosher blowfish. I don't know whether blowfish have scales. I don't.

[Chris Cody]

Scales is the issue here.

[Dan LeBatard]

Scales are very important.

[Chris Cody]

You're pro scale.

[Dan LeBatard]

You have to have scales.

[Chris Cody]

Why?

[Dan LeBatard]

Because they're not bottom feeders.

[Chris Cody]

Oh.

[Dan LeBatard]

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[Greg Cote]

So Bob Odenkirk is one of my actually all time favorite actors. He could be comedic, he could be dramatic, obviously. Better Call Saul, one of the great shows literally of all time. And a couple years back, he showed up out of nowhere as an action star in the movie Nobody. And I honestly really loved it. I couldn't believe what I was watching and had an absolute blast. Was blown away by his physicality. The movie was a ton of fun, and now he's back in the sequel, Nobody 2, hitting theaters on August 15th. So Bob returns as Hutch, and this time he tries to go on a vacation with his family, only for all hell to break loose. It's really a delight to see a guy like Odenkirk kicking some serious ass. Nobody 2 is produced by 87 north, the same team behind hits like John Wick, Bullet Train, and the Fall Guy. The film also stars Connie Nielsen, RZA, and the legendary Christopher Lloyd and Sharon Stone. Nobody 2 is a perfect summer movie. You don't want to miss this one. Nobody 2 is only in theaters August 15th.

[Mike Ryan]

Howdy folks, it's Mike Ryan.

[Unknown]

Happy summertime everybody. Summer is fantastic.

[Mike Ryan]

A lot of outdoor activities, a lot.

[Unknown]

Of concerts, a couple of championship parades if you're lucky enough. A lot of big time movies. Maybe you're going to a happy hour. Before you see a big summer blockbuster with your friends, why don't you order Miller Lite at the bar? Whether it's via draft glass bottle or that beautiful white can or the cool special edition 50th anniversary gold cans Making anytime this summer a Miller Time is always a great idea. You want to make a summer memory that lasts forever? Well, crack open a Miller Lite. You know why? Because since 1975, Miller Lite has been the go to way to stock your cooler to celebrate those incredible summer moments. This year marks 50 years of Miller Time.

[Mike Ryan]

50 great years of taste.

[Unknown]

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[Dan LeBatard]

Don LeBatard oh, I like firing people, so I take the opportunity to fire whenever I possibly can because I can use it as a learning experience for them and try to help them out and try to point out what they did wrong. But in this case, the employee was enough levels below where I was that I did not do the firing, but I had it done within moments of discovery. I'm just like firing people. It's just absurd.

[Mike Ryan]

It's absurd stugats.

[Dan LeBatard]

I'm talking about people who I fire who deserve it who have done something that actively requires me to fire them, it is my unadulterated pleasure to do so.

[Chris Cody]

This is the Dan Levatar show with the stugats.

[Dan LeBatard]

I don't.

[Chris Cody]

I don't like fish being called dirty, to be perfectly honest with you.

[Dan LeBatard]

Haven't you ever seen a dirty fish tank? Have you ever seen the fish that you win at a carnival by throwing it at ping pong ball in their little glass home? If you throw it in, you get to keep the fish.

[Mike Ryan]

What about.

[Dan LeBatard]

Ever seen that?

[Chris Cody]

I could see you with a koi.

[Dan LeBatard]

I used to have fish tanks.

[Chris Cody]

Yeah.

[Dan LeBatard]

I build a ballpark with fish tanks that you got rid of.

[Chris Cody]

Ever kind of late night at the office, go to fish.

[Dan LeBatard]

Climb on in there.

[Chris Cody]

Yeah. And say, hey, 100 years from now this is going to be.

[Dan LeBatard]

There was a whole fish tank room in Marlins park right outside the visitors clubhouse. There was a huge room that had all the guts. We built it. It controlled the fish tanks behind the home plate and also the fish tanks in my office. Because when you're building from scratch, you can do whatever you want. So I built a huge fish tank in what became Jeter's office, but started as my office. And there were. People would come clean the fish and there was a guy from a company who'd come clean the fish. They were great. But he liked coming around, like, trade time. Like when we were doing trade calls and stuff.

[Billy Corben]

Yeah. And overhearing the company.

[Dan LeBatard]

He pretended he was just like, cleaning out the fish.

[Billy Corben]

Yeah.

[Dan LeBatard]

But we knew better.

[Billy Corben]

Yeah.

[Dan LeBatard]

So we would potentially do some funny stuff when the fish cleaning guy would be in the office by talking about trades that we were not going to do just because we could sort of. We'd look at his face. We'd be like, hey, we want. We may trade Stan for Manny Ramirez.

[Izzy Gutierrez]

Any of those make it out to.

[Dan LeBatard]

The media and the fish guy? No. No, he had. No.

[David Samson]

That's how, you know he's solid, though.

[Chris Cody]

Yeah.

[Dan LeBatard]

No connection to the media, but I bet he spoke to his other fish tank people.

[Mike Ryan]

I can't believe they were this close to acquiring Barry Bonds.

[Dan LeBatard]

We absolutely did it with baseball people, and that did make it to the media. That's how you find your leaks. But we knew the fish guy wasn't a leak. But we knew that he loved being in on it, so we wanted to make it worth his while because he was a fish tank guy and he had a schlep all the way to Marlins park to do the fish every week. So we tried to make it Exciting for him, which I think is a noble pursuit.

[Billy Corben]

Fun.

[Mike Ryan]

Forget the dystopian future in which you. You're incentivized to mate with a fish.

[Chris Cody]

I like the trade deadlines. Coming here wasting time making up lies to trick the aquarium guy.

[Mike Ryan]

How do you feel about human and animal makeup gene splicing?

[Dan LeBatard]

It took 10 seconds, Billy.

[Mike Ryan]

Like making a cat person. How do you feel about that? A dog man.

[Dan LeBatard]

Plastic surgery, though, right?

[Mike Ryan]

No, no, no, no, no. Like, we're splicing genes, we're in a lab, and we can say it's all in the name of cancer research, but really we're just trying to make a cat person.

[Dan LeBatard]

Welcome to Jurassic Park.

[Mike Ryan]

No, those are dinosaurs. It's different.

[Dan LeBatard]

No, they have froggy DNA.

[Mike Ryan]

Oh. That's how they change their own sex. Life finds a way.

[Dan LeBatard]

Life finds a way.

[Chris Cody]

How about a ray? Would you ever lay with a ray?

[Dan LeBatard]

Isn't that the one that killed the guy who likes animals?

[Chris Cody]

Yeah. Crocodile Hunter.

[Dan LeBatard]

What's the name of the Steve Irwin Steve Irwin got killed by? I think he got killed by a ray.

[Chris Cody]

Yeah.

[Mike Ryan]

Yeah.

[Dan LeBatard]

Don't want to lay.

[Mike Ryan]

Were you pro or anti human animal gene splicing?

[Dan LeBatard]

Totally pro.

[Mike Ryan]

You're pro it. You want cat people around.

[David Samson]

If it could, you ask the rabbi.

[Dan LeBatard]

I will ask the rabbi. But if it can help cure disease or if it can help advance us in any way. How would you not be?

[Mike Ryan]

Every movie. Every movie says it usually goes sideways. They become the lizard.

[Dan LeBatard]

Yeah, yeah. I'm not. I'm not talking about plastic surgery.

[Mike Ryan]

I'm talking about the lizard. Who would start in a lab and then go through the sewers of New York City.

[Billy Corben]

Right. Half dog, half man.

[Mike Ryan]

Dog, man.

[Dan LeBatard]

Is it half and half? That's horse, lion, horse and person.

[Billy Corben]

That's horse. Half man, half horse. Right.

[Dan LeBatard]

I was wondering if it was half.

[Izzy Gutierrez]

And half, though, Greg. Or should it just be certain qualities of a cat? Like if you have humans, maybe they have whiskers and a tail, but they're super, super quick.

[Billy Corben]

Right?

[Izzy Gutierrez]

Like ridiculous athletes.

[Dan LeBatard]

I hate aluminum foil.

[Billy Corben]

Like, if I had the hind legs of a horse, I could be a racehorse. But a human from the waist up, like, what would be the rule?

[Mike Ryan]

That's a centaur. Yeah, that's a centaur.

[David Samson]

Waist down horse.

[Mike Ryan]

Not to be confused with a minotaur, which I think is like bull and horse, bull and man. Is it bull and man? Bull and man.

[Billy Corben]

But would I be allowed to enter a horse race?

[Chris Cody]

It's a good question, I thought.

[Mike Ryan]

I'm glad you added race.

[Chris Cody]

Do you have the front ar.

[Billy Corben]

I think I do.

[Chris Cody]

So you'd be running upright. Horse.

[Billy Corben]

Yeah, running upright.

[Dan LeBatard]

You guys are making fun, but we're talking about evolution.

[Chris Cody]

Same.

[Dan LeBatard]

Why is it that you think that this is not possible? Do you know where we came from? Assuming you're not the Adam and Eve part people, right? In theory, we evolved.

[Chris Cody]

You're the one that doesn't want to have sex with a fish here.

[Mike Ryan]

Like, we're trying to evolve the race with a fish.

[Izzy Gutierrez]

Step up, David.

[Mike Ryan]

You guys believe in Adam and Eve. I know that about the Old Testament.

[Dan LeBatard]

I didn't, but I. I actually believe in evolution.

[David Samson]

Oh, What'd the rabbis say?

[Mike Ryan]

Let me ask you a little question.

[Billy Corben]

Oh, but.

[David Samson]

So you're going to freeze yourself even though the rabbi told you not to?

[Dan LeBatard]

I don't. I do go for mostly confirmation.

[Mike Ryan]

How about the ark? Noah's ark.

[Dan LeBatard]

Arch, not buying it.

[Mike Ryan]

Not buying it. Your theology is based off of this good book.

[Dan LeBatard]

Yeah. So I didn't say that we. Me as Jewish people, but we all, the goyim and the Jews have the same testament. Just. You believe in old and new, and we just believe in old.

[Mike Ryan]

Do you run questions by your rabbi? Do you run questions around, like, from the scripture, like, why did God decide to do this? Whether it be, you know, was it Isaac with the son, you know, or like, Abraham, Abraham and Isaac. Or like, hey, Adam and Eve, how does this work without incest?

[Izzy Gutierrez]

And why would you put two roaches on the ark? Like, just leave the roaches.

[Billy Corben]

Well, they snuck in.

[David Samson]

They snuck in.

[Chris Cody]

They always snuck in.

[Mike Ryan]

They always snip.

[Izzy Gutierrez]

Being gay is so bad. How come it wasn't in the top 10 sins?

[Mike Ryan]

It's probably Adam goes to the cousins.

[Dan LeBatard]

Was that bad? Hold on. Just for the people listening. And if you're not watching this on YouTube, although I don't know whether we're live or not, but on the network. We just had a very bad situation with the video room and the producers. Yeah. Not happy with this conversation. Is there some sort of legal issue I'm missing about making love to fishes that I missed?

[Mike Ryan]

No, we. We throw maybe the setting. Like, it's not, like, do this right now. It's in 100 years dystopian future, which there are only down the line people and a couple cryogenically frozen.

[Dan LeBatard]

I think we're clear.

[Billy Corben]

I think we're good.

[Mike Ryan]

Oh, we are. I've been.

[Dan LeBatard]

But we're getting a lot of weird talk from inside the other room.

[Mike Ryan]

Oh, in your ear?

[Dan LeBatard]

Yeah. So, I mean, are we okay? Is that did the show. Is it. Did it get ground to a halt?

[Mike Ryan]

Because how did we populate the Earth?

[Dan LeBatard]

I believe that it started with seedlings.

[Mike Ryan]

No, no, no. Okay. All right. So Adam and Eve happened as, you know, the flood brought about the. The great Reset. So again, question remains, like, how did we repopulate? Probably some incest.

[Billy Corben]

Yeah.

[Dan LeBatard]

It would seem hard to imagine otherwise because you get 2 to 4 to 8 to 16.

[Mike Ryan]

Right. But I imagine at that point there.

[Dan LeBatard]

Were pockets of people. That's how different languages happen.

[Mike Ryan]

The implication is that he's all right with it, given that he decided to destroy the water.

[Billy Corben]

Who?

[Mike Ryan]

God. God?

[Chris Cody]

Well, why are we assuming God's a he?

[Mike Ryan]

Oh, that's a good point. That's a great point.

[David Samson]

What the rabbi say.

[Mike Ryan]

The great. I am. What does a rabbi say about that?

[Dan LeBatard]

Used to be that the conservative rabbis, it was a he. Then things got a little more progressive and it became. There could be a she, and then it just became a they.

[Mike Ryan]

Ah, that makes much more sense. What's your guy?

[David Samson]

What's your guy?

[Mike Ryan]

What's your guy?

[Dan LeBatard]

What's my God?

[David Samson]

Yeah, no, your guy.

[Mike Ryan]

Your guy.

[David Samson]

Progressive. Is he more conservative?

[Dan LeBatard]

My rabbi is a him. It's. He's a he. Him. Thank you for asking.

[Chris Cody]

No, not the rabbi.

[David Samson]

What does he think? Yeah, what does the rabbi think of.

[Dan LeBatard]

Having sex with fish? I've never asked him.

[David Samson]

Please put that on the list.

[Billy Corben]

No, that hadn't come up.

[Izzy Gutierrez]

Can you FaceTime him?

[Mike Ryan]

Prioritize.

[Dan LeBatard]

This is it. Shabbat? I don't know what day it is.

[Mike Ryan]

I don't know what that means.

[Dan LeBatard]

Shabbat is Friday night to Saturday night.

[Mike Ryan]

So if you say so.

[Dan LeBatard]

Well, I'm not telling you.

[Mike Ryan]

It's kind of like my sign. I just don't pay attention to it.

[Billy Corben]

There are female rabbis now, right?

[Dan LeBatard]

There are, yeah. There didn't used to be.

[Billy Corben]

Yeah, I like that, don't you?

[Dan LeBatard]

There's also gay rabbis.

[Billy Corben]

How about that?

[Izzy Gutierrez]

I like that, don't you?

[Chris Cody]

It's evasive.

[Billy Corben]

Yeah.

[Chris Cody]

Why do you feel about that?

[Dan LeBatard]

I think it's normal.

[Chris Cody]

Okay.

[Dan LeBatard]

I mean, it's fine.

[Mike Ryan]

I'm pretty sure we got an answer on the fish. So what? Provided it's Darrell. Hannah.

[Dan LeBatard]

No. Provided their scales. I said. Oh, don't misquote me.

[Chris Cody]

Did you go to a fish rabbi in the future?

[Dan LeBatard]

I just said I require scales, and you miss. Totally blew past that.

[Mike Ryan]

Toledo.

[Chris Cody]

Yeah, no, we get it.

[Izzy Gutierrez]

I think he was trying to say he has a little wiener.

[Mike Ryan]

Jewish. You know, seahorses, they can impregnate Themselves.

[Chris Cody]

Really?

[Dan LeBatard]

I'd never leave the house.

[Chris Cody]

You would constantly impregnate yourself if you're a seahorse.

[Dan LeBatard]

If you like kids. If I could. Right. So I listen, I have proof that I can procreate, but if I could do it to myself, then I.

[David Samson]

But then you also carry the seedling.

[Chris Cody]

Yeah.

[Dan LeBatard]

You have so many.

[David Samson]

By experience.

[Mike Ryan]

That's tough.

[Dan LeBatard]

I don't want to be pregnant.

[Billy Corben]

You'd look funny as a pregnant man.

[Dan LeBatard]

There was a pregnant man?

[Billy Corben]

Yeah.

[Dan LeBatard]

Yeah. When I was younger. 20s.

[Izzy Gutierrez]

Are you sure that wasn't just an episode of the Bill Cosby Show?

[Mike Ryan]

I have to make a correction. Seahorses cannot impregnate themselves, but the males fertilize the eggs and internally carry them in their pouch. Wait till the red.

[Dan LeBatard]

But they still need somebody.

[Mike Ryan]

Yeah.

[David Samson]

There needs to be two seahorses, male and female. But the male can take. Take the seed and store it. And basically, like, male carries the baby.

[Mike Ryan]

Male carries the babies. But it needs to start the process.

[Dan LeBatard]

Species Mike. Where they can impregnate themselves.

[Mike Ryan]

I'm on this, like, some sort of.

[David Samson]

Like, algae or like some, you know, something very small.

[Chris Cody]

When you were a.

[David Samson]

Multiply itself.

[Chris Cody]

When you're Marlins park this week, you ever, like, sneak away and, like, just start walking through, like, the bowels of the stadium? It's like, oh, I left something here. Let me go see if I could find this thing. Or, like, just disappear for a little bit.

[Dan LeBatard]

I tried to go into the old archive room.

[Chris Cody]

Did you? And what happened?

[Dan LeBatard]

I wasn't allowed. I couldn't get there.

[Chris Cody]

Why not? You think there was extra eyes on you?

[Dan LeBatard]

No, I just didn't have a pass through security. They wouldn't let me through. It's in the admin offices. I wanted to go see my office. I wanted to go see all sorts of things at Marlins park, but I was. I was a. Basically a visitor in my own home.

[Mike Ryan]

Only one vertebrae can impregnate itself. And you're in luck. It's a fish.

[Chris Cody]

Wow.

[Mike Ryan]

The mangrove killfish. Invertebrates that can do this are flatworms, tapeworms, snails, and roundworms. Certain types, roundworms.

[Dan LeBatard]

Because there were. This is obviously in my head. A worm can circle around itself and touch one part of the body to another.

[Chris Cody]

There are some. Some birds and reptiles that can impregnate themselves.

[Greg Cote]

I don't know about you guys, but I'm someone that's constantly adding stuff to different carts on random websites. Like, there's a teal marlins hat that's been calling to me for, like, two and a half years that I'm constantly getting advertisements or is something eventually I'll purchase because I keep those things in the cart. Then I see it. That beautiful, glowing purple shop pay button.

[Mike Ryan]

Boom.

[Greg Cote]

Checkout's done. I don't even have to get up and find my wallet. That, my friends, is Shopify magic. That little purple button means that the store is powered by Shopify, which doesn't just make it easy to buy, but ridiculously easy to start and run your own business, too. Whether you're a giant like Mattel or Gymshark or, you know, just launching something weird from your garage, Shopify has your back. Let's be real. If we can run a show with this much chaos, you can run a business with Shopify. With hundreds of beautiful templates, tools for payments, inventory analytics, marketing. It goes on and on, and it's all in one place. And yes, that purple button. That's why Shopify has the best converting checkout on the planet. If you want to see less carts being abandoned, it's time for you to head over to Shopify. Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at shopify.com batars go to shopify.com batard shopify.com batard.

[David Samson]

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[Stugatz]

No one can see or hear your personal messages. Whether it's a voice call message or sending a password to WhatsApp, it's all just this. So whether you're sharing the streaming password in the family chat or Trading those late night voice messages that could basically become a podcast. Your personal messages stay between you, your friends, and your family. No one else, not even us. WhatsApp message privately with everyone.

[Dan LeBatard]

Don Lebatard.

[Billy Corben]

What do we got here? I got a Magnum condom. We won't get that out.

[Mike Ryan]

That's shocking. Stugats.

[Billy Corben]

Here's a picture of Christopher when He was, like, 3 years old.

[Dan LeBatard]

Right next to the condom.

[Billy Corben]

Yeah. Forever.

[Mike Ryan]

Never forget.

[Chris Cody]

This is the Dan Levatar show with the Stugats.

[Mike Ryan]

You know, Fergie once peed herself 25 years ago at a live performance. All Star Game. No, it was at, like, a music festival. It was at Qualcomm Stadium. If you check out the setlist FM of their performance at Qualcomm, Black Eyed Peas show up. An hour later, Fergie pees herself in the middle of.

[Chris Cody]

What does that have to do with anything?

[Dan LeBatard]

You have to learn how to pee at yourself. I've done that many times.

[Mike Ryan]

I can get photos of her peeing herself. We'll get it.

[Billy Corben]

Why would the rest of the band have been a half hour late? Hmm.

[Dan LeBatard]

It was the container. I. Peeing yourself is very hard if you've ever tried it.

[Mike Ryan]

When's the last time you peed yourself?

[Dan LeBatard]

In 2000, I was on a bike. I only peed myself on bikes.

[Izzy Gutierrez]

I just learned something at a pool party I was at recently. My shy bladder extends to the pool. I cannot pee in a pool if there's other people in it.

[Dan LeBatard]

I try to be solo. In the pool when you're alone.

[Izzy Gutierrez]

I've never actually done it solo. I just assume I could.

[Chris Cody]

Oh, we get it. You're better than everyone.

[Mike Ryan]

I love peeing in a pool.

[Chris Cody]

You love it.

[Billy Corben]

You have to love it. Yeah.

[Chris Cody]

Yeah.

[Dan LeBatard]

That's disgusting.

[Izzy Gutierrez]

I'm worse than everyone. Billy. I physically can't do it.

[Dan LeBatard]

You have to let your abdomen go. You're. You have such a good body that you have no way to get soft. Yeah. To get soft.

[Billy Corben]

Hey, yo.

[David Samson]

That's crazy.

[Billy Corben]

Wow.

[Dan LeBatard]

It's the best way. You have to release your. That's. You have to train for it.

[Billy Corben]

So let me get this straight, David. You. You've never urinated during a marathon?

[Dan LeBatard]

In my pants.

[Billy Corben]

Yeah.

[Dan LeBatard]

No.

[Billy Corben]

You can hold it for four hours.

[Dan LeBatard]

I pull over.

[Billy Corben]

And waste time paid. Yeah. You get a worse time on your marathon. Where's your. Where's your pride, man?

[Dan LeBatard]

I'm not a professional, okay?

[Billy Corben]

You should.

[Dan LeBatard]

I don't go into the. I don't go into the porta potties.

[Izzy Gutierrez]

It's the Unspoken grossness of marathons, Greg, is there are just lines of pee everywhere. And occasionally, some guys will just not go in the porta potty and just squat and poop somewhere.

[Mike Ryan]

It's gross. It's also the implication around your standard Vegas pool party look. There's never a line for the bathroom. That's why the chlorine does, you know, clears up.

[David Samson]

That's where you do coke.

[Mike Ryan]

Also, the pee is heavy. It falls to the ground.

[Billy Corben]

Right. Plus, when I wash my hair in the pool, the suds help chlorinate and cleanse.

[Mike Ryan]

Right? You do do that. You do wash your hair in the.

[Izzy Gutierrez]

Pool at a pool party.

[Billy Corben]

Yeah, wherever.

[Chris Cody]

So you'd freeze yourself.

[Billy Corben]

If I'm washing my hair in the pool, it is a party.

[Dan LeBatard]

I wouldn't go in a Vegas pool party.

[Billy Corben]

No.

[Dan LeBatard]

Only in a private sort of pool, in a cabana.

[Mike Ryan]

Because of all the other people peeing in that pool.

[Dan LeBatard]

All the other people at the pool.

[Mike Ryan]

But that's what the chlorine's for, man. I could have. I could. You and I could be locked eyes having a conversation. I'd be peeing. You wouldn't know it. I've gotten really good at this.

[Dan LeBatard]

That's a house rule. When he. When a kid came to the house, one of the things was, do not pee in the pool.

[Mike Ryan]

How would you know?

[Dan LeBatard]

Yeah, you know, it's the honor system.

[Chris Cody]

No, no.

[Mike Ryan]

You would always say that little lie's lie. Like, oh, we. This pool has the dye.

[Billy Corben]

Yeah.

[Mike Ryan]

It turns it purple.

[Chris Cody]

Yeah.

[Mike Ryan]

I was like, all right, let's test that. Never happened to me once.

[Izzy Gutierrez]

Please don't ever look me in the face if you're peeing in a pool with me. I want to look up, look away, do something else. Don't look me up.

[Chris Cody]

I actually want to do the opposite. I want us all to be in a pool together. And David stands in the middle. We're all in a circle, and he just goes around. And each round someone pees, and he has to identify who it is that is peeing based on how they're looking at him.

[Dan LeBatard]

You can see pee in a pool coming out?

[Chris Cody]

No, but you're looking. We're locking eyes, and you're just going around. We're all kind of circled around you, and one by one, you're looking, and you have to identify who is peeing. This is a great tool right now.

[Mike Ryan]

And sometimes you can't. Sometimes it's not all yellow like that.

[Chris Cody]

Yeah.

[Mike Ryan]

Especially if you're well hydrated, like.

[David Samson]

Yeah, but it's clear.

[Mike Ryan]

I'M not. I'm not taking the risk. And peeing in a pool, if it's going to come out all yellow, I kind of know, you know, the color.

[Dan LeBatard]

Of your pee before I can.

[Mike Ryan]

I can assume if I've had a couple Miller Lights. Yeah, it's going to be clear.

[Billy Corben]

Plus, you're. If you're that deep, you're peeing through a bathing suit. I mean, it's not like, you know.

[Chris Cody]

I assume you go up against a wall or something.

[Dan LeBatard]

I don't want to.

[Chris Cody]

Can you pee in the ocean? Can you pee in the ocean?

[Dan LeBatard]

Yes.

[Chris Cody]

Okay. What's the difference?

[Dan LeBatard]

What's the difference? In the ocean and a pool.

[Chris Cody]

Fish's home. Your future wife, Billy.

[Dan LeBatard]

An ocean is vast.

[Mike Ryan]

I don't want to tell you what's in that ocean, but it's all the poop and pee from all the crews.

[Dan LeBatard]

You know why?

[Chris Cody]

It's salty.

[Mike Ryan]

Whales, whale sperm.

[Chris Cody]

That's. That's science.

[Mike Ryan]

He's right about that hanging in that water, man.

[Dan LeBatard]

Dilution, you say?

[Mike Ryan]

You got a rogue wave to the face.

[Chris Cody]

The ocean's so big, whales be jacking it in there, man.

[Dan LeBatard]

They're throwing dildos.

[Billy Corben]

Greg, does a whale do that?

[Mike Ryan]

You know, dolphins have sex for pleasure. Most animals, they have sex to procreate. Not. Not dolphins.

[David Samson]

I think Ron McGill said dolphins and humans. Only ones in the animal kingdom that.

[Mike Ryan]

Have sex with pleasure. Yeah.

[Chris Cody]

Would you have a dolphin spouse?

[Dan LeBatard]

My concern is the following. That we are going to be looked at as stewards of this amazing show. And it started off what I thought was strong, and it's sort of petering at the end with this conversation about whales and how do they. How do they, you know, do that?

[Billy Corben]

Yeah. And you having sex with fish. I mean, well, but that.

[Mike Ryan]

He volunteered it.

[Billy Corben]

Yeah.

[Dan LeBatard]

That to me is far more okay than talking about how whales pleasure themselves.

[Billy Corben]

Yeah.

[Chris Cody]

Daryl Hannah.

[Mike Ryan]

Yeah. Well, they don't have the hands to do it.

[Billy Corben]

Right.

[Dan LeBatard]

They don't have the flippers either.

[Billy Corben]

Oh, they do it.

[Mike Ryan]

They have flippers, but it doesn't reach. It's kind of like the T. Rex thing. Like, how does a T. Rex jack off? What about tail?

[Dan LeBatard]

I don't think we can say that.

[Mike Ryan]

Why not? They're not. What, A T. Rex is gonna take offense.

[Billy Corben]

They got the small arms. They can't reach that far.

[Mike Ryan]

Precisely.

[Billy Corben]

Yeah.

[Mike Ryan]

Yeah.

[Billy Corben]

Alligator arms.

[Chris Cody]

Exactly. How do alligators do it?

[Billy Corben]

Another good.

[Dan LeBatard]

I lost it. Sorry. I've lost.

[Mike Ryan]

Otters pleasure themselves.

[Dan LeBatard]

I'm getting it back right now.

[Mike Ryan]

I've seen that video on Ebaum's world getting it back.

[Dan LeBatard]

I'm not letting this show end, Greg, without getting your opinion on something. I'm just not letting you leave.

[Billy Corben]

Okay. I want to ask you a question, though.

[Dan LeBatard]

No.

[Billy Corben]

Did you get it?

[Mike Ryan]

No.

[Billy Corben]

Did you get a tattoo despite the rabbi referring to it as human desecration?

[Dan LeBatard]

Yes. I've got nine tattoos.

[Billy Corben]

And it's okay with your rabbi?

[Dan LeBatard]

It turns out that the. It was all a Bubba. Meister, you can get buried in a Jewish cemetery with tattoos.

[Billy Corben]

Okay. But did he approve or did he just say, oh, I guess so?

[Dan LeBatard]

I asked him about, can you be buried in Jewish cemetery?

[Billy Corben]

Yeah.

[Dan LeBatard]

And the answer was yes.

[Billy Corben]

Okay.

[David Samson]

But if you're frozen, though, then you.

[Dan LeBatard]

Don'T go to the cemetery. Then you don't.

[Mike Ryan]

Are there.

[Dan LeBatard]

Where would you be stored?

[David Samson]

Where do you get stored?

[Mike Ryan]

Are there, like, kosher cryogenic places that can adhere to the Jewish faith while they freeze you?

[Dan LeBatard]

No.

[Mike Ryan]

Or the premise itself is bad.

[Chris Cody]

Yeah.

[Dan LeBatard]

The definition of it. That's like saying, can you prepare a lobster in a way that makes it kosher? There's.

[Mike Ryan]

Yeah, but when they made the bylaws, they couldn't possibly fathom a future where they can put you on ice.

[Dan LeBatard]

Now we're talking theology where there's all sorts.

[Mike Ryan]

Where I like to live, that's the sweet spot.

[Dan LeBatard]

10,000 years ago, 50 million years ago, whatever the word is. And life's a little different now, so I'm not going to the rabbi in that.

[Mike Ryan]

Do you subscribe to the theory that John went into the future and that's why Revelation is so kind of out there? Because how would John be able to describe, like, a helicopter, well, that looks like a lion with seven snake heads if I've ever seen one.

[Dan LeBatard]

Seems like the Book of Mormon to me. But no, I have no explanation for what you're asking.

[Mike Ryan]

I've never been talking about the end times.

[David Samson]

It's also an Old Testament guy.

[Mike Ryan]

You're missing some good stuff with the.

[Dan LeBatard]

I've never read the New Testament.

[Chris Cody]

Oh, yeah?

[Dan LeBatard]

I don't know any story.

[Mike Ryan]

It's actually shorter than the. Shorter than the Old one.

[Billy Corben]

Oh, very.

[Izzy Gutierrez]

I've read that one either you never.

[Dan LeBatard]

Have you read the Old, not the Old or the New?

[Izzy Gutierrez]

How many people do you know have read the entire thing?

[Dan LeBatard]

Mike Ryan is the first one I.

[Mike Ryan]

Ever show of hands.

[Dan LeBatard]

He might be my school teacher.

[Mike Ryan]

Most passes haven't read the Bible.

[Dan LeBatard]

No, that can't be.

[David Samson]

That's Roy.

[Mike Ryan]

I don't know about that one.

[Dan LeBatard]

Did. Did the guy who held up the John 3:16 sign did he read the Bible. How else would he know to hold up John 3:16.

[Mike Ryan]

Somebody told him showbo. Wasn't there a whole story around that guy?

[Chris Cody]

Yeah, the rainbow guy.

[Dan LeBatard]

He's. I think he's dead and a criminal and not necessarily in that order.

[Billy Corben]

Really.

[David Samson]

Costume is criminal.

[Dan LeBatard]

Yeah, Zombie criminal.

[Billy Corben]

What was his crime?

[Dan LeBatard]

He was the rainbow guy. Yeah, there was something wrong. We've covered that.

[Billy Corben]

Have you?

[Dan LeBatard]

But no, my thing is on all of the verses, we had players who would put verses on their. On their hat. And then MLB not just disallowed it because there's no way to know what the verse is. And then they.

[Mike Ryan]

That's not what that was. Yeah, no, that was around 9, 11 where there was a big Islamophobia and they were. They would always cite like, what if someone decides to put scripture from the Quran? Where does it end? So they just decided to wipe it all out.

[Dan LeBatard]

So. No, but the actual.

[Mike Ryan]

That's what. That's the excuse that we got in the NFL.

[Dan LeBatard]

The actual thing that happened. So it was. We said it was the caps because it was. What was happening is the sponsors, the people who do caps. That time it was new era. But whether it's Nike, whoever does the uniform, there's a standard uniform and we get paid for players having that as the uniform. And you can't change any of it because it pigs basically takes value away.

[Mike Ryan]

No, but people were worried about the other stuff that I said.

[Dan LeBatard]

We would be able to control that as best we could. But that's what worried me when we had people putting scripture on is I would say, well, what does that one mean? And they put on their shoe or they put on their hat.

[David Samson]

Look it up, David. Like, you got it.

[Dan LeBatard]

I wouldn't even know how to look that up.

[Mike Ryan]

What do you mean?

[Dan LeBatard]

This is not. This was.

[Mike Ryan]

You could do it analog or Google pre Internet. You go like, what does that book start with? Oh, it's Ephesians. All right, let me go to Ephesians. It's chapter and then verse.

[Dan LeBatard]

It Normally says like 2412, 6.

[Mike Ryan]

It's a colon.

[Dan LeBatard]

You're gonna come up with that? Like that?

[Billy Corben]

Yeah, yeah.

[Mike Ryan]

Like, if I were concerned as to what this was, you could just put it in the old computer too. You have been basically since the days of dial up.

[Dan LeBatard]

Yeah, I would pay people to do. I can't do that.

[Mike Ryan]

What do you think about the Bible codes?

[Dan LeBatard]

I don't have any.

[Mike Ryan]

No, no, no. The Bible codes is like my grandfather got really into the Bible codes and he started using it to Predict. Predict the future. I'm like, grandpa, you don't understand number sequences. I mean, the Bible's basically infinite. You can find a pattern in anything. And you're opening a Pandora's box. If you try to start predicting politicians being in there.

[Dan LeBatard]

I never have done. I've never been in that business. The Nostradamus business. I predicted our season record every year. That's all I would ever do. I don't, like, predict whether. I don't predict Bible. I don't predict anything. Were you end of days?

[Billy Corben]

Were you always optimistic?

[Dan LeBatard]

Yes, of course.

[Billy Corben]

Yeah.

[Dan LeBatard]

And only one out of 18 years did I get it right. I guess the 91.

[Billy Corben]

Well, when you say you're not in the predicting business, you have a, you know, a thing with wait to see. To see, so.

[Dan LeBatard]

But that's me telling you that I know something's gonna happen.

[Billy Corben]

Right. But you don't.

[Dan LeBatard]

But sometimes I'm wrong. But I wouldn't do it, like, for end of days. There's people who are predicting, like, the end of the world.

[Mike Ryan]

Like, I think it's gonna happen real soon.

[Dan LeBatard]

The end of the world?

[Mike Ryan]

Yeah.

[Chris Cody]

How soon?

[Mike Ryan]

Well, because AI like, this whole thing, like, accelerated. I think the world's gonna be pretty unrecognizable come two years from now.

[Dan LeBatard]

How long is your two years?

[Mike Ryan]

Two years from now? I think we're all gonna be antiquated.

[Chris Cody]

Fish in a hundred.

[Mike Ryan]

I just. I really worry about this. I think we've set off a course of events that there's no coming back from.

[Chris Cody]

Oh, boy.

[Dan LeBatard]

You now you've been hanging out with them for too long.

[Mike Ryan]

No, no, no, no, no. I thought that the first term, though.

[Chris Cody]

We made it through the Cuban Missile Crisis.

[Mike Ryan]

This is way worse.

[Dan LeBatard]

No, it's. Were you around for the Cuban Missile Crisis?

[Mike Ryan]

Yeah, but I.

[Dan LeBatard]

Was that. You saying that destruction. No, it was a game over. Yeah, that's what I heard. Between your knees.

[Mike Ryan]

Computer's just gonna decide that there needs to be a reset.

[Chris Cody]

Well, Y2K was gonna do that too.

[Mike Ryan]

And. And we beat him.

[Dan LeBatard]

I don't know if you remember Y2K. My dad would not go. My dad was a banker. He owned a little neighborhood bank. One of the many things he did in his life before he passed away. Samson and Trust, it was called Liberty bank, actually.

[Billy Corben]

Okay.

[Dan LeBatard]

And he couldn't go on a vacation in December of 1999. And he wanted to, but he couldn't go because there was a concern that when the clock went to midnight that all the money would disappear from the bank or that all the people would do a run on the bank, so he had to stay there. And it ended up being a big nothing.

[Billy Corben]

Yeah, I remember.

[Dan LeBatard]

Nothing happened.

[Mike Ryan]

My grandfather was very high key, Disappointed that it didn't happen because he was preparing for it. He was referencing the bible codes. Like, Y2K shows up a bunch, and, like, I was eating corned beef hash for three years.

[Billy Corben]

I wonder if they had that same thing in 1899.

[Chris Cody]

Yeah, good question.

[Billy Corben]

You think?

[Chris Cody]

I was thinking it would be a perfect time for David's dad to just steal all the money, because the assumption is it's all gonna disappear anyways. So he does the opposite. Like, he took all the money out of all the accounts and he goes on the vacation.

[Billy Corben]

Yes.

[Chris Cody]

And then when everyone's like, where's the money? He's like, Y2K?

[Billy Corben]

Yes.

[Chris Cody]

What am I supposed to tell you?

[Dan LeBatard]

Good guy. He wouldn't do that.

[Chris Cody]

I'm missed opportunity.

[Mike Ryan]

Certain that we are never gonna have time travel. I knew it for a fact. Because if we ever were gonna have it, they would have been here by now.

[Billy Corben]

Yeah, that's true.

[Izzy Gutierrez]

What about Simpsons writers?

[Chris Cody]

What about that guy in the Tyson fight with the iPhone?

[Mike Ryan]

It's a lot. We'll get to that in a second. It's a lot like the bible codes, Izzy, in that there are so many episodes of the Simpsons that there's going to be some things that feel predictive.

[Izzy Gutierrez]

That's fair. I'm also of the opinion that we are not the first civilization. They've already done this. We're in a projection. We're doing it all over again.

[Mike Ryan]

Wait, what if we're. The human consciousness program?

[Izzy Gutierrez]

There you go.

[Mike Ryan]

You're saying the matrix. All right, back to Billy's question.

[Dan LeBatard]

What's Billy's question?

[Chris Cody]

The iPhone at the Tyson fight.

[Mike Ryan]

Yeah. Did you ever see that?

[Dan LeBatard]

Yeah, of course.

[Mike Ryan]

Do you believe it?

[Dan LeBatard]

No.

[Billy Corben]

Oh.

[Mike Ryan]

I mean, it looks a lot like.

[Dan LeBatard]

An iPhone, but it's. If you back. Back in the day, Greg, you could go to Japan and you got stuff 10 years before anybody else. The best gift I ever got as a privileged, spoiled kid is I got a Sony Walkman before they ever made it to the States. And it was this big. It was.

[Billy Corben]

Yeah.

[Dan LeBatard]

Insane. You could only put a tape in it.

[Billy Corben]

Right.

[Dan LeBatard]

The first Sony Walkman. But I got it years and years in advance. But there was no. I didn't own any tapes. Like, there was nothing I could do. But. But. So I believe that Japan may have had a phone.

[Billy Corben]

I mean, Maxwell Smart was using a shoe phone.

[Chris Cody]

That's true.

[Dan LeBatard]

50S and 60s.

[Chris Cody]

Yeah, we haven't gotten those yet.

[Billy Corben]

I know. It'd be great, wouldn't it?

[Chris Cody]

I was at a concert not too long ago, and I saw a lot of the youths there with digital cameras. And I was like, what are we doing? We're like, we're reversing in technology now. It's very popular to take a digital camera and take pictures. And it's kind of like. Like I had those and they kind of sucked.

[Mike Ryan]

I think. I think it's all going to come back, especially if. If we do somehow survive the next two years with AI, People are going to have a sense of community, a longing for a community, and tangible things have gone away. It's how vinyl records came back, because that's how people have emotional attachments to these things.

[Izzy Gutierrez]

100%. I'm with Mike. I'm scared to death. I'm now scared of bunny rabbits just because of that one AI video of the bunnies jumping on the trampoline. Like it's nothing about it. That's really scary. But the idea that if it was real, a bunch of bunny rabbits just kind of. And then it seems like some of them kind of multiply out of nowhere. It's like straight out of my nightmares. And so now I'm scared of rabbits.

[Dan LeBatard]

The only thing I'm scared of is dildos. That's it. They're throwing dildos. Any animal. I'm not scared of anything. I'm not scared of time passing, time travel. I'm not scared of fish.

[Billy Corben]

You know, I'm not sure if it's AI or not, but now you see babies talking, you know, like.

[Izzy Gutierrez]

Yeah, that's it.

[Billy Corben]

Chubby babies dressed like Trump.

[Chris Cody]

Yeah.

[Billy Corben]

Talking. It's. It's crazy.

[Mike Ryan]

Those are real.

[Chris Cody]

Yeah, those are real toddlers, man.

[Mike Ryan]

I saw one of Stephen A. Smith the other day. Boggles of mine.

[Billy Corben]

Yeah, it really does. Bottom feeder crazy.

[Dan LeBatard]

I think we're all gonna be okay. And, Mike, if I could offer you just some solace that I promise that three years from now you're still gonna know me. I'm committed to that.

[Chris Cody]

Is that good or bad?

[Dan LeBatard]

Head.

[Mike Ryan]

That felt like a threat.

[Dan LeBatard]

Yeah, no, that's a promise.

[Izzy Gutierrez]

I used to pronounce that solace.