Hour 2: Too Many Dogs (feat. Jessica Smetana)

Summary

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The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz

Hour 2: Too Many Dogs (feat. Jessica Smetana)

Date: February 12, 2026

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Overview

Broadcasting from downtown Miami’s Elser Hotel, this episode features Dan Le Batard, Stugotz, Jessica Smetana, and the usual crew as they explore their uniquely irreverent takes on sports and pop culture. The discussion navigates a running debate about dogs in the workplace, Jessica’s passionate defense of the Winter Olympics, notable Olympic controversies, Super Bowl halftime show reviews, mascot hijinks, and a mini deep dive into NBA and NFL storylines. The tone is casual, sardonic, fast-paced, and full of in-jokes—classic Le Batard Show energy.

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Main Discussion Topics & Key Insights

1. Dogs in the Workplace: When is Enough, Enough?

(00:30–07:37)

• Dan wants Jessica’s take after a visible “office tension” over Ethan bringing his dog, Percy, repeatedly to the studio. The crew debates whether dogs belong at work at all, escalating into how many is “too many.”
• Tony expresses discomfort, especially given the “exposed asshole” of dogs in the office:

  “I'm not down with the dogs. With the exposed asshole. There, I said it.” (05:24)

• Jessica feels “in a bad spot” defending her own past dog-bringing, explaining she only did so due to late schedules and says, “Willow can’t stay home for nine hours.” (08:10)
• The underlying dynamic: nostalgia for Jessica’s better-behaved canine “Willow,” compared with complaints about Percy’s unruliness.

Notable Quote:

“Dogs are dumb. You can go anywhere near their name, and they'll respond.”
— Dan Le Batard, (04:41)

Poll Prompt:

“How many dogs is too many dogs in the workplace? 1, 2, 3, or over 4?” (06:08)

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2. Winter Olympics: Coverage and Controversy

(07:20–24:40)

• Jessica’s Crusade: Jessica decries the Miami crew’s lack of Olympics interest, watching “non-stop” and pushing for more attention:

  “I thought this was a sports show…wall-to-wall sports from the minute you wake up.” (08:30)

• The group explores whether spoilers ruin Olympic events. Jessica argues replays can enhance enjoyment, not diminish it:

  “Sometimes you see a result and then, when they replay in primetime…you know what's gonna happen, which I kinda like.” (10:24)

• Olympic Drama: Jessica offers a Top 5 Worst/Most Controversial Olympic Stories (16:27–23:40), including:
  1. Lindsey Vonn’s brutal crash—described as “the worst thing I’ve ever seen” (23:27), with Jessica watching live at 5 a.m.
  2. US ice dancers denied gold after French team ‘effed up their twizzles’ but still won (21:57).
  3. Public post-race breakup/cheating drama (20:22–20:46).
  4. French biathlete’s credit card fraud scandal (19:02).
  5. DQ of U.S. skeleton athlete for a helmet with images of deceased Ukrainians (16:39).
• Winter vs. Summer Olympics:
  • Dan muses that the Winter Games feel like Norway’s answer to not winning summer medals, then asks for the chronology:

    “How much older are the Summer Olympics than the Winter Olympics?” (11:53)

  • Crew finds Summer is 28 years older (15:31), with Jessica noting the Mandela Effect with her mom mistakenly doubting Winter Games’ existence in her childhood.

Notable Quotes:

“It was one of the most brutal things I’ve ever watched.”
— Jessica, on Lindsey Vonn’s crash (23:27)

“Did the French team f up its twizzles?”
— Dan Le Batard (22:08)

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3. Super Bowl Halftime Show Dissection

(23:59–26:51)

• Jessica admits letdown over Bad Bunny’s Super Bowl show:

  “I've been a fan of Bad Bunny…he came out on stage at the Super Bowl, full long sleeves, pants…us straight women are coming off the most feral January of our lives…I thought maybe we get to see a little bit of thigh.” (24:05)

• The crew riffs on an alternate “Turning Point USA All-American halftime show,” joking about the culture war over entertainment choices.
• Jessica calls media coverage of the conservative "alternative" halftime show “embarrassing”:

  “Everyone should have said from the jump, this is full diaper-baby conservatives having a temper tantrum about Bad Bunny...” (26:28)

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4. NBA & NFL Storylines

(29:31–39:24)

James Harden to Cleveland – Hope or Another Playoff Mirage?

(29:31–39:24)

• Dan, Bo, and Tony debate whether adding Harden for the injured Darius Garland actually makes Cleveland a contender:

  “No matter what your criticisms are…not having Darius Garland…if I eliminate that and add James Harden, I am better. Hard stop.” (31:10)

• Skepticism over Harden’s playoff history persists. Bo notes, “Cavs were almost a 65-win team last season and got smoked in the playoffs with basically the same team.” (32:36)
• Detroit and New York Knicks come up as rising threats; Orlando Magic’s progress questioned.

NHL/NFL/Other Briefs

• Quick hit on court storming fines at UM (“the most peaceful, slowest, kind of indifferent court malingering,” 09:48).
• Quick mascot update: Otto the Orange scolded at Syracuse (27:29), with Jessica sharing her mascot love.
• Micah Parsons vs. Myles Garrett: sound montage of their back-and-forth about who’s the better defender (40:35–42:17).

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments (by Timestamp)

• “The dog is also a beggar. Same way Willow was. More than Willow was, actually.”
  — Dan Le Batard (03:21)
• “I'm not down with the dogs. With the exposed asshole. There, I said it.”
  — Tony (05:24)
• “You’re putting me in a bad spot with the dog thing, Dan. I got nothing on the dog.”
  — Jessica (05:27)
• “Apparently there have been Winter Olympics since 1924, and they actually…went back in time to the 20s and like came all the way forward to the 2000s.”
  — Jessica (15:37)
• “You guys should watch the Olympics.”
  — Jessica (28:31)
• “She's had three surgeries and she's probably gonna need more. And it looks really nasty and I feel awful for her…It was one of the most brutal things I’ve ever watched.”
  — Jessica, on Vonn’s crash (23:27)
• “I thought maybe we get to see a little bit of thigh.”
  — Jessica, regarding Bad Bunny’s Super Bowl outfit (24:40)
• “Everyone should have said from the jump, this is full diaper-baby conservatives having a temper tantrum about Bad Bunny…”
  — Jessica (26:28)
• “No matter what your criticisms are…not having Darius Garland…if I eliminate that and add James Harden, I am better. Hard stop.”
  — Dan Le Batard (31:10)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• 00:30–07:37: Dog debate and office pet etiquette
• 07:20–24:40: Winter Olympics discussions – apathy, drama, Jessica’s Top 5 controversies
• 24:00–26:51: Super Bowl halftime show and the alternate “culture war” performance
• 29:31–39:24: NBA playoff picture, Harden-to-Cavs analysis, Detroit/Knicks/Orlando evals
• 40:35–42:17: Micah Parsons vs. Myles Garrett NFL “who’s better” debate

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Tone & Language

Direct, sardonic, self-aware, often irreverent, and full of humor and inside jokes. Jessica brings sports passion and a lived-in perspective; the rest of the panel is quick to mock, needle, and ask offbeat poll questions.

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Final Impression

This episode typifies the Le Batard Show’s free-flowing blend of pop culture, hyperlocal Miami vibes, and sports talk. It’s as much about personality and running gags as it is about the issues, with memorable riffs on dogs at work, Olympic obsessions, and high-profile sports drama. Jessica’s presence, in particular, brings energy, millennial references, and a much-needed Olympics fix.

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Transcript

[Jessica]

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[Dan Le Batard]

The Dan Levatar show with the Stugats podcast. Jessica will be here in a moment as soon as we get her Internet fixed. At the moment, you can see her frozen on the screen, sort of mortified at the very idea that her Internet is frozen. We will get that unfrozen in a moment, but we will have for posterity heard. Edizada is the word that I would use in Spanish. Good word for me, just filled with uncommon terror. I want her to settle a debate for me that I just heard in the eating area because Louis and some others were complaining about a dog being in the studio. But before we get to that, I'm surprised Sam Darnold specifically isn't doing more of what Ernest Jones the Fourth is doing when he's in front of people and trying to rally Seattle at the championship parade. Nobody believed in us, obviously. So Ernest Jones IV has some words for the people who are doubting still the mighty champion Seattle Seahawks.

[Micah Parsons]

Shout out to these badass who play this game the right way. Hey, not only do we have the best defense in the world, we got the best team in the world. And quite frankly, if you got anything to say about my quarterback, you got anything to say about my defense? You got anything to say about o line? And you got anything to say by the city of Seattle? I got two words for you.

[Dan Le Batard]

Yeah, not, not the most subtle of the two words behind him. There are guys with solo cups and middle fingers. There's also somebody pantomiming the spanking of another person. Let's. Let's see if you change the two words. What would it sound like if you diluted slightly the two words shout out.

[Micah Parsons]

To these badass who play this game the right way. Hey, not only do we have the best defense in the world, we got the best team in the world. And quite frankly, if you got anything to say for my quarterback, you got anything to say about my defense? You got anything to say about online? And you got anything to say about the city of Seattle? I got two words for you.

[Dan Le Batard]

Pipe down. The pipe down doesn't really work as strongly Mike says softer there, Boomer. Say it with your chest. Say what? You mean. Pipe down. He meant. He meant bleep you and he said, pipe down.

[Tony]

May I just add to my original point? I don't like just merely dipping your toes in the water and having to put together context clues as to what you actually mean. I got zero respect for that.

[Dan Le Batard]

I got that from you earlier in the show.

[Tony]

I felt like I was very unclear when I called him a.

[Dan Le Batard]

You weren't. The conversation in the eating area about Ethan's dog, it reminded me. I liked having Willow around. I liked it when Jessica's dog was here. But Tony's making faces now, and I heard a lot of slippery slope. What if we all brought our dogs in? Would you like that then, Dan? If we all brought our dogs and obviously, I would like that slightly less, but I think I would also. Let's do it one day. I think I would. I think I would also like that. But, Jessica, what are your thoughts as Louis and others complain about what they say is the Amin complaint? They don't want Ethan's dog out there. The dog is also a beggar. Same way Willow was more. More than Willow was, actually.

[Tony]

I felt like it's the third time.

[Dan Le Batard]

This week that Ethan brought his dog here today. Yeah, he's doing it a lot. That is correct. But it's causing office tension. That's not my office tension. I just. Jessica's biased here, obviously, but I feel like people had fewer problems with Willow than they do with this animal. What's this animal's name?

[Tony]

Percy.

[Mike]

Percy Malley.

[Dan Le Batard]

You think? Is this.

[Tony]

No, no, it's like Mike Malley. I call it Mali. No, I call it Malley after Malachi. Tony. Because the dog is named Percy after Percy Harvin. And, you know, we settle that whole Florida thing, and Mally responds to Mali.

[Dan Le Batard]

Dogs are dumb.

[Mike]

You can go anywhere near their name, and they'll respond, hi, my baby.

[Tony]

Mali. And wags her tail, rolls over on her back.

[Dan Le Batard]

What are your thoughts here, Jessica? Welcome. Any. Any admonishments that you want to send.

[Jessica]

The group here who is a. I agree. They're definitely A.

[Dan Le Batard]

Okay.

[Tony]

I don't like to use that word. I think it's derivative. I do.

[Jessica]

It's accurate.

[Dan Le Batard]

That animal, though, does look a bit disheveled. Percy. Percy looks a little bit like Percy's been beaten down by life. A little bit.

[Tony]

I mean, it's walking on a torn ACL because the owner just is a reckless person.

[Dan Le Batard]

Jessica, are you following the Winter Olympics here? I can't get anybody around here interested in.

[Tony]

I'm not down with the dogs. With the exposed asshole. There, I said it.

[Jessica]

You're putting me in a bad spot with the dog thing, Dan. I got nothing on the dog.

[Tony]

Just that dog's asshole is rubbing up.

[Dan Le Batard]

All over the couch.

[Tony]

Like, if you want to bring Percy in either a diaper or have the tail go down. I don't know how you do that. Maybe a brace, but expose assholes. I don't like it.

[Jessica]

They sell these things, I think, on Etsy for cats that cover their boat holes. They, like, are like a little, like, you know. You know how horses. They're buttholes, Tony. They're buttholes.

[Bo]

Okay, you said bort.

[Tony]

I don't know what that means.

[Jessica]

You know, a borthole. How horses have the little, like, blinders that they put over their eyes sometimes so they can only see. They can't see. Like, they have that. But for cat buttholes.

[Dan Le Batard]

Is it a slippery slope? How many dogs is too many dogs in the workplace? Because I don't feel like one is. No, Tony, you're.

[Bo]

One is enough.

[Dan Le Batard]

Yeah, put it on the poll Make. Make the question. Make the question the poll question. 1, 2, 3, or over 4. How many dogs is too many dogs in the workplace?

[Jessica]

Can I just say really quick in my defense, Stan, about this whole dog thing, we had sort of an agreement with the dog thing because we. We didn't get our schedules until Sunday night. So if I needed a dog walker, it was generally too late to schedule earlier in the week. And that's when I would bring Willow into work. It wasn't because I didn't feel like it, but Ethan knows he has to be in the office every single day, so a little bit of a difference.

[Dan Le Batard]

Oh, but wait a minute. I didn't. I thought you were proudly bringing your dog Willow into an office that welcomed Willow. Regularly welcomed Willow. I didn't realize that this was the blame that needed to be filed at Carl because he's a bad scheduler. Like I thought. Thought Willow was always made to feel welcome here. I thought, well, you brought Carl into it by saying you were scheduled on Sunday nights. I didn't bring Carl into it. I wasn't even thinking about Carl. I haven't thought about him since he broke a bottle over. Someone said in one of those intros in Jeremy's head, the. The idea that a dog would not be welcome in a workplace is not something that I had considered and maybe.

[Jessica]

My last day here. And so I will say the office was very welcoming of Willow. Dan. So she, you know, she was welcomed back every time, but it was very to have somewhere to bring her early in the morning when Lehman was off shooting his fancy schmancy documentary. So thank you to everyone.

[Dan Le Batard]

I thought Amin was the only one with the objection, but now I'm learning. Tony is all upset about this.

[Jessica]

He's pretending he doesn't actually care.

[Micah Parsons]

It's.

[Bo]

It's a big ass dog. I'm sitting on the sofa, the big ass dog. Instead of sitting on the sofa, what Will would like to do was sit on the 2 inch portion above the sofa and sit there like a, like a boa constrictor across the entire sofa. It's like, come on, dude.

[Jessica]

Like, give me a clear something.

[Mike]

Something we're not considering. Is leaving your dog home is an option?

[Jessica]

No, not for nine hours.

[Bo]

Dogs get left at home for nine hours all the time, every day.

[Jessica]

All right, well, Willow can't stay at home that long. She has to go out, do nice doggy. Some people say do your stuff. Some people say take a dump.

[Dan Le Batard]

She has separation anxiety.

[Micah Parsons]

Right.

[Dan Le Batard]

Nine hours is too much like your.

[Jessica]

Dog time, you know, she needs a walk.

[Dan Le Batard]

Are you following the Winter Olympics? I can't get anybody in Miami interested in the Winter Olympics.

[Jessica]

It's honestly disgraceful. Dan. I. We recorded Mystery Cradle already this week, and other than Chris Cody, I couldn't get anyone into it. I've been watching it non stop. I thought this was a sports show. Okay, it's February, Football season's over. We've got like some sports going on, but not a ton. Like, this is wall to wall sports. From the minute you wake up in the morning, it starts, and then you get to watch it all the way through primetime at night. Sometimes you get to watch stuff twice, which is awesome. And you already know what's gonna happen, which I kind of like later on in primetime. But apparently no one in Miami gives a shit and it's terrible.

[Dan Le Batard]

You like that? I thought most people didn't want to know the results. I thought one of the great joys in sports is not having the result in hand. When I was in New York, Hank Azaria has this habit of avoiding all things so that he can watch sports results the following day without any access to the Internet because he doesn't want to know the result. And the game gets ruined for him if he knows the result.

[Bo]

But Dan, he's also incredibly rich, doesn't really have to work like, so he can do whatever he wants and then watch the game the next day the rest of US have to go throughout the entire day. Talk to Mike. Hey, Mike. He just told me the canes got fined 50k for the court sauntering. How am I supposed to know that if I want tomorrow, you can get.

[Tony]

Fined $50,000 for just merely sauntering onto the court unsure?

[Dan Le Batard]

I did not know that. I can't believe you got fined for that. It was the most peaceful, slowest, kind of indifferent court malingering that I've ever seen.

[Tony]

I think we waited for UNC to leave the court.

[Jessica]

That's why if you're going to break the rules, like respect to these win Olympians that have broken rules, because that's been a big headline. You just got to go all out and break the rules if you're going to storm the court, have some conviction behind it.

[Dan Le Batard]

What story should we be following or not following when it comes to the Olympics? Because I am legitimately surprised that you're saying the result in hand is something that makes you enjoy it more. I thought you want your surprises there.

[Jessica]

I'm not exactly saying that. I'm saying that, like, sometimes you get to. Since there's so many things on in the morning, sometimes you see a result, and then when they replay in primetime, you know, it's like one of the big events that they're going to re show you. Like when, you know, the US Figure skating team won gold. I had already seen the final skate from the, you know, star US Figure skater, but then I got to watch his program again in primetime. So I was surprised the first time it happened. You know what I mean?

[Tony]

I think the problem for. For Miamians is we just don't have connection points in doing the things that.

[Jessica]

I don't have connection points to any of this. I grew up in Chicago, and I've snowboarded, like, twice in my life.

[Tony]

Okay. But I mean, cold over there.

[Bo]

Yeah.

[Dan Le Batard]

I don't know.

[Tony]

Like, I've been in a bobsled before. Like, I thought we killed it. We kicked ass. That was pretty easy, actually.

[Jessica]

I don't think that many people have connections to it either. Mike. I think the Winter Olympics are typically. I mean, the US in particular doesn't even have that strong of athletes in a lot of the sports. Like, a lot of sports are being dominated by Norway and Sweden and Switzerland and Finland, and the US Is like, yeah, we got someone kind of in the mix, but they're not a favorite for it. So there is a lot of this that is totally unfamiliar to, I would say, most people.

[Mike]

I love when the figure skating commentators Turn into Tony Romo. And they're like, there's a big one coming up right here. This is the one they gotta land. Because they, like, know the whole program ahead of time. They, like, know when the big jumps are coming.

[Micah Parsons]

So I just.

[Mike]

That's one of my favorite things. When they, like, start to predict what's coming.

[Dan Le Batard]

Would you guys do me the favor, please? Because I don't actually know the history of this. How much older are the Summer Olympics than the Winter Olympics? Because I thought the Winter Olympics. When she mentioned Norway, the thing I thought of is, I assume that the history of this, and this might be totally ignorant, that the history of this is the Winter Olympics get created because a bunch of people from Norway can't win the Summer Olympics. So they have to develop a bunch of events that are not unlike the triathlete. The moment that the Kenyans all started winning the marathons, they're like, you know what we're going to throw in here? Cycling and swimming, too. I bet they can't win at everything. And we're going to change this event so that we can have more people win it.

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[Dan Le Batard]

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[Jessica]

Stugats women stay home in the kitchen where they belong.

[Dan Le Batard]

This is the Dan Levatar show with the stugats.

[Bo]

Summer is 28 years older. So seven Olympiads.

[Dan Le Batard]

Okay, that I I assumed that it was older. I thought it was much older.

[Jessica]

The Winter Olympics is pretty old. And actually Dan, I was watching the opening ceremony with my mom and she was like very confused I think and was was tearfully telling me that the Winter Olympics didn't exist when she was a kid and they only had the Summer Olympics. And then I was like, I googled it. I was like no mom, you just Mandela affected yourself. Apparently there have been Winter Olympics since 1924 and they actually were. That was like part of the opening ceremony was like went back in time to the 20s and like came all the way forward to the 2000s.

[Dan Le Batard]

What a liar. So what did you. Did you enjoy going to the Internet and exposing a loved one as a liar?

[Jessica]

No, she's deaf. She wouldn't have heard me anyways. It's fine. I just let her have that one.

[Dan Le Batard]

Do you have a top five list for us that might be Olympic related, or can you throw one together off the fly? Because you're an amazing ad libber.

[Jessica]

I can give you the top five worst storylines of the Olympics so far because there's been a lot of drama, Dan.

[Tony]

Some.

[Jessica]

Some, like, funny drama and then some, like, pretty serious Dr.

[Dan Le Batard]

Drama.

[Jessica]

Including today, a Ukrainian skeleton athlete who was DQ'd for having a helmet that had photos of deceased Ukrainians on it that were killed during the invasion from Russia. He was told he couldn't wear it, so now he's disqualified. I read that in the Wall Street Journal this morning. So there's, like, there's legit.

[Dan Le Batard]

I don't think that deserves that. Yeah, but I don't feel. I feel like we need to do this better because that's also kind of a sad one. That should.

[Jessica]

It is sad.

[Tony]

It made Boomer assays and cry.

[Dan Le Batard]

Yeah, no, it's horrible.

[Jessica]

But there are a lot of things that I have been following that have been quite controversial this past week and quite dramatic, to say the least.

[Dan Le Batard]

Number five, but this is controversial and dramatic or worst stories.

[Jessica]

Yeah, we'll go with all the above.

[Dan Le Batard]

Okay.

[Jessica]

These aren't your heartwarming. These aren't your heartwarming ones because, like, you know, you could get that top five list anywhere. There's a lot of those.

[Dan Le Batard]

Okay, number five.

[Jessica]

This happened this morning. This American snowboard cross athlete got disqualified because he bumped into the guy behind him somehow, and he ended up having this, like, huge come from behind finish. So spoiler alert. If you're gonna watch that tonight, and I'm sure they're gonna replay it on, like, the main show, but they claim that he. It was intentional, so he got disqualified. Whereas there's unintentional touching between snowboarders that you don't get suspended for. You get, like, a yellow card for. So they completely disqualified.

[Dan Le Batard]

I'm sorry to do this to you, Tony. You want to teach her how to do this? She's out of practice. Practice on the top five. She's got to come in and give us a couple of words and then explain the story so that he. So that.

[Mike]

So you basically say headline sounder.

[Dan Le Batard]

Then you explain, somebody got bumped. Snowboard came from behind it's just for the timing, because Chris is.

[Mike]

Now.

[Micah Parsons]

What happened was there's a snowboarder, and.

[Bo]

He was driving down the thing, and then all of a sudden, he got hit by the thing.

[Mike]

I'm playing double Dutch.

[Dan Le Batard]

Jessica. He's distracting me because the whole time he's waiting to hit the fanfare. And you're just explaining this.

[Jessica]

The guy who doesn't even know when his mic is on is telling me how to do a top five list. Okay.

[Bo]

Who's as. I agree.

[Dan Le Batard]

Okay. I just. I'm just saying we need something quick on the top.

[Jessica]

I thought you were going to make fun of. Spoiler alert, because I know that was bad.

[Dan Le Batard]

That's tricky.

[Tony]

Yeah, that's never got that one right.

[Jessica]

Yeah, it's tough. Number four, biathlon.

[Dan Le Batard]

There you go.

[Jessica]

It's actually two biathlons.

[Dan Le Batard]

I don't like it.

[Tony]

I don't like it one bit.

[Mike]

We're dancing.

[Bo]

Don't like it Is.

[Jessica]

The French biathlete who won yesterday was actually convicted of credit card fraud against her teammate a couple years ago. Had to serve a suspension for it. And then when she. She also claimed, Dan, that she doesn't remember committing the fraud. She was like. She, like, blacked out. She, like, doesn't remember actually doing the credit card fraud, which is kind of a great excuse. But anyways, very, like, you know, not nice. Don't steal your teammate's credit card and spend a bunch of money on it. But then when she won and crossed the finish line, she, like, shushed the crowd, and it's like, wait, but you're the one who. You're the baddie. I don't.

[Tony]

Biafletes. I don't know about it. Unless it's a girl, and we like that. It's okay.

[Dan Le Batard]

Number three.

[Jessica]

Okay. This is a male biathlete, so no fanfare. Yay.

[Tony]

It's the most efficient that's ever been.

[Micah Parsons]

No.

[Dan Le Batard]

Zagaki has never been that outrageous. No.

[Tony]

I don't know why he's giving me that. But, like, honestly, this is a terrible character.

[Jessica]

Number three, you guys might have heard about this guy who was begging for his girlfriend back after he wore bronze the other day. And then his girlfriend was like. Ex girlfriend, I should say. Clearly, was not very into it. So.

[Bo]

One bronze, but what if you want gold?

[Dan Le Batard]

He cheated on her, right? Like that.

[Jessica]

He cheated on her and then was like, I really effed up. This has been a horrible week for me, and I want her back so much, and, like, I hope she comes back. I made a huge mistake. And, like, did this all publicly. So, like, publicly revealed that he cheated on this woman who. I don't think her identity has been revealed, but she did an interview and she was like, yeah, this has been a tough week for me too. And, like, that didn't.

[Dan Le Batard]

Didn't need that number two.

[Jessica]

So this was a pretty controversial. Pretty controversial ice dancing result. Dan, the United States ice dancer is the favorite.

[Dan Le Batard]

Chris, that was on you. Why she stop for you?

[Tony]

Sky Judge.

[Dan Le Batard]

She slowed it down for you. Chris. That was her trying to help you.

[Jessica]

They lost to a French team that, like, legitimately, this French team has. There's a defector article about the transgressions of this French couple, and people should read that because it is, like, there's legitimate abuse allegations involved. But the American ice dancing team, their married couple, Madison and Evan, Chalk and Bates, they're, you know, one of the best in the world. And this was their moment to finally get an Olympic gold medal. And they didn't do as great in their short. There's like a short program or a rhythm dance and a free skate. And so they didn't do as well in the first one, but it was really close going into the longer skate. And then they had an amazing free skate and it had, you know, tons of points. Was like their season best in points. Everyone's like, all right, like, they're probably going to win the goal. But then the French team went next.

[Guest Announcer]

Next.

[Jessica]

And the French team, Dan, they effed up their twizzles. They effed up their twizzles. Okay, this is important. And they still came in first and won the gold.

[Dan Le Batard]

Put it on the poll, please. Did the French. French team f up its twizzles at Le Batard show? Number one.

[Jessica]

Number one. This is pretty obvious, is like the worst thing I've ever seen. Lindsey Vaughn's crash on Sunday morning was horrible. I don't know if you've seen the picture of. Of her in the hospital recovering.

[Tony]

Horrific surgery. It looks like a nexet, apparently.

[Jessica]

I was deep in a Reddit hole at like 4am reading a bunch of doctors, like, analyzing what this fracture is like. Apparently that is some sort of, like, stabilizer that stabilizes your femur to your fibia or something like that. And so that she's had three surgeries and she's probably gonna need more. And it looks really nasty and I feel awful for her. I was up at 5 o' clock on Sunday watching it live, Dan. And the build up to it was, like, really exciting and like, it was. It was Just so like they were building towards her. She was 13 skier to go down. The American was already in first place. Breezy Johnson. It was like super dramatic. She's on top of the mountain. She's like doing deep breaths. It's like silent. And then 13 seconds in, huge crash. Dan Hicks is like, screaming his head off. You can hear her like, screaming in pain. It was awful. It took 20 minutes to airlift her down, or airlift her up, I guess, and then down to a hospital. It was one of the most brutal things I've ever watched.

[Dan Le Batard]

So you got up at five o' clock in the morning just to see this live. You didn't want to know the result. You wanted to be there and experience all of that as it happened and then were quickly horrified and had your day ruined.

[Jessica]

Pretty. I mean, it's a. It was a tough way to wake up. Not as tough as the day she had.

[Dan Le Batard]

So, yeah, that's brutal. I want to get to some other things with you, but before we do so, your halftime super bowl halftime thoughts as America is arguing about halftime things.

[Jessica]

To be honest with you, I was a little disappointed.

[Tony]

Uh oh, easy.

[Dan Le Batard]

Uh oh.

[Jessica]

I was a little disappointed, Dan. Look, I've been a fan of Bad Bunny for a long time. I watch all the videos. I see what he wears when he's in Puerto Rico. I see the shorts. I see the little, you know, dance move he does. You guys know what I'm talking about. He came out on stage at the super bowl, full long sleeves, pants. Thought we might maybe get a costume change. Keep in mind, us straight women are coming off the most feral January of our lives in the wake of the heated rivalry series coming out. Okay. And I thought maybe we get to see a little bit of thigh.

[Dan Le Batard]

Yeah, she's right.

[Bo]

Well, the thing is, when he does the, you know, the jump into the la casita and then comes out, he's going to attend a wedding. So you can't be at a wedding in shorts and.

[Dan Le Batard]

But he's wearing gloves and he's not showing much of any skin. Yeah, but Dan, he's not showing anything.

[Bo]

Do you wear skin at a wedding or no?

[Dan Le Batard]

Well, I'm asking. He's a fashion icon though.

[Jessica]

Sure.

[Bo]

Okay.

[Jessica]

Lizard man, do you put on your skin suit for a wedding?

[Dan Le Batard]

Do you. I don't think. Lizard Man. I don't think that's necessary.

[Jessica]

Would you make a lady wore skin was more.

[Mike]

Megan.

[Tony]

Would you make fun of Lady Gaga's dancing?

[Jessica]

Me?

[Tony]

Yeah.

[Jessica]

I mean, I thought. Honestly, like, I thought it was great, but I did you know 5 inch inseam wouldn't have killed anyone?

[Dan Le Batard]

No, that's not true. She preferred this halftime show. This alternate halftime show.

[Mike]

Welcome to the Turning Point USA All American halftime show.

[Dan Le Batard]

And this one's for you, Charlie.

[Micah Parsons]

This next song with a good friend.

[Dan Le Batard]

Of mine by the name of Coke Ford.

[Micah Parsons]

I know something y' all don't know.

[Dan Le Batard]

So they could say what was on their mind.

[Micah Parsons]

This is what's on mine.

[Dan Le Batard]

My name is King.

[Mike]

There's a book that's sitting in your.

[Guest Announcer]

House somewhere that could use some dusting off.

[Tony]

I don't doubt that there's a man.

[Guest Announcer]

Who died for all our sins hanging from the cross.

[Jessica]

Please, no more.

[Dan Le Batard]

Jort and multiple mic flips.

[Bo]

To be fair, 55.

[Tony]

He got up there.

[Bo]

He got up there.

[Dan Le Batard]

He loves that move.

[Jessica]

The fact that that was covered credulously by mainstream media outlets is embarrassing. Like, everyone should have said from the jump. This is full diaper, baby. Conservatives having a temper tantrum about bad money and just called it what it is and not been like, here's a legitimate entertainment option for halftime. Because that's what, like, that was. Well, come on. What are we doing?

[Tony]

I was for Charlie.

[Dan Le Batard]

Was that a question? Was the gag statement declarative?

[Bo]

Do not hear Brixton.

[Dan Le Batard]

Brinley Lee.

[Tony]

Bryce has something going on with that beard. Looking into it.

[Dan Le Batard]

Okay. Keep an eye on it.

[Micah Parsons]

All right.

[Dan Le Batard]

I think you've made your accusation public now. I think Jessica is the only one around here who likes mascots more than I like mascots. Admittedly, I like them more than anyone else here. Are you. Do you have any mascot news for us? Anything in the mascot kingdom that has gotten your interest lately?

[Jessica]

Well, as a mascot lover, Dan, maybe you could tell me why Otto the Orange was being scolded at the Syracuse basketball game last night. Because I saw this video this morning of him being just dressed down by this woman. I have no idea why.

[Mike]

And he puts his hands on his head, like, oh, no.

[Dan Le Batard]

Well, he's holding his tiny baseball cap because he's clearly being punished. He's being reprimanded. But he also seems playful on the front end, and his face doesn't change. He seems to be smiling the entire. So he doesn't seem to be that upset by what's happening.

[Jessica]

I don't know about that.

[Mike]

What is this person on the right doing? Playing piano or something?

[Bo]

Might be a bongo segment there. You know the bongos on the halftime.

[Mike]

Show, you're like, oh, I love that slow bongo play.

[Tony]

Gaga, though, at the halftime Show.

[Dan Le Batard]

Put it on the poll at LeBatard show. Do you love to pantomime the bongos on the Jumbotron? Yes or no? Check out her weekly Notre Dame podcast, the Echoes with Mike Golick junior. Jessica, thank you for being on with us. We appreciate the time.

[Jessica]

You guys should watch the Olympics.

[Dan Le Batard]

Bye. This is not, not, not an echo chamber.

[Mike]

The world moves fast. Your workday even faster. Pitching products, drafting reports, analyzing data. Microsoft 365 Copilot is your AI assistant for work built into Word, Excel, PowerPoint, and other Microsoft 365 apps you use, helping you quickly run, write, analyze, create, and summarize so you can cut through clutter and clear a path to your best work. Learn [e-mail] M365 copilot Don LeBatard Mr.

[Jessica]

Mr. Schurt, if I may say, for a second, Miami, they were simulating the snap count the entire game, and they were clapping at the line of scrimmage. And the only thing I want to see clapping are them cheeks on Mrs. Mac in my Face Mike shirt. All right? So that's one thing. Stugats, they're a bunch of cheaters, Dan. And you know who should be cheating? Mrs. Met on Mr. Met. And he can watch if he wants.

[Dan Le Batard]

This is the Dan Levatar show with the Stugats. Is the James Harden thing in Cleveland gonna work?

[Bo]

No, I can't.

[Tony]

He had four blocks, one game.

[Guest Announcer]

What?

[Jessica]

What?

[Bo]

It can't. It can't work, Dan. It can't work. You know, you take Cleveland and then you take James Harden. Two got two teams and a guy that can not perform in the playoffs, and you put them together, and then you think that two negatives are gonna make a positive.

[Tony]

It's crazy enough that it might. I gotta say, it's going a lot better than I thought. Now, I know the playoffs are a different game. I know that. But I gotta eat it a little bit. This is a better fit than I thought.

[Dan Le Batard]

So Donovan Mitchell needs the ball, and Evan Mobley is not presently playing. And in Evan Mobley's absence, Jared Allen, an improved player. This is always something that's interesting to me when the fourth and the fifth guy become the third and the second guy, and then I expect the team to get worse. But I realize the third or the second guy is better than I thought he was. We cannot dispute this, right? No matter what your criticisms are of MVP hall of Famer James Harden, not having Darius Garland available in any meaningful way to this team for the last couple of years, in a way that make it better. If I eliminate that and add James Harden, I am better. Hard stop. Like doesn't. That's not going to be subtraction. No matter what you think of James Harden, he's going to be better than the remains of Darius Garland, who has given them nothing. That team, I have told you the last few years, cannot beat the Knicks the way they were formed. Mitchell Robinson eats up their front line. They have no chance against the Knicks the way that they were formed. And I don't think the Knicks are the best team in that conference. The Detroit Pistons are far and away the best team in that conference. But I believe the audience at large believes in the Knicks more because the Knicks have two stars you've heard of and that's the only reason that they're doing it. They're doing it because they're believing in Jalen Brunson and, and Carl Anthony Towns for some reason more than they're believing in Kate Cunningham and the rest of what it is that the Pistons have.

[Tony]

So your analysis about the Knicks and Cavs and the matchup issues that Mitchell Robinson in particular presented, it's on the money. But James Harden has that skill set that could actually do something about that.

[Dan Le Batard]

Oh, I'm not. I'm. I'm thinking that this is something that can make. Well, will make Cleveland better, period. Will it make Cleveland better enough? As Windhorse sits here and wonders aloud on ESPN, Hey, LeBron and Cleveland are an option after this season. He's saying Cleveland is absolutely a place to watch for LeBron here next season. And I'm wondering if Cleveland has solved some of its organizational and architecture issues because they've gone out and in exchange for Darius Garland, gotten a Hall of Famer who can score.

[Bo]

Absolutely. Like they've, they've improved. If you look at player A and player B and it's Darius Garland and James Harden, yes, you have improved. But they were almost a 65 win team last season and got smoked in the playoffs with basically the same team. Right. When the playoffs come, Evan Mobley, his health is going to be a question mark. Jared Allen is going to get played on, off the floor. Like that's just what happens when he's there. Especially with guys that he can't guard. In the Eastern Conference, there's going to be one ball. James Harden, Don Mitchell are going to have to fight for that one ball. Even though Harden can play point at some points and he's great as a lob threat. Like something's got to give there and I don't Feel like James Harden is the answer.

[Dan Le Batard]

He might not be the answer, but you're not going to be able to do a lot better than that in the discount bin. Like in terms of what you could have brought back for Darius Garland, there's not a whole lot of help me more now that you could have gotten than the guy they got for Darius Garrett Garland.

[Tony]

Yeah, they, they probably, their fans probably want a championship answer. Maybe this isn't an answer, but it seems like it's certainly a solution in terms of like some of the adversity they meet come playoff time.

[Bo]

To your point, though, like, there was nobody better that they could have gotten for a Darius Garden that hasn't played in, you know, eight months. Oh, hold on. The Bongo's in front of us. There hasn't been a player for the last eight months to Darius Garland who hasn't played, basically even though he was an all star. To get James Harden for that guy is an absolute steal for the front office of Cleveland.

[Dan Le Batard]

I want to play. I thought, go back there and play with them if you like. I thought that when Cleveland got to the playoffs last year, I thought that they were going to be better. I thought that the New York Knicks were not going to be the matchup problem for Cleveland that they ended up beating. Being and to my way of thinking speaking, the Cavs should have the best roster in the conference. If I say to you, who would you rather have, James Harden and Donovan Mitchell or Carl Anthony Towns and Jalen Brunson as your two best players, don't you take the former. If I just say I'm giving you two players, you're starting. Now, I know there's more to it than this, but you know, Evan Mobley, when he gets the ball, is a really exceptional player. And I don't like Bridges, I don't like Josh Hart, whoever it is, on a nobe, whoever it is, you're making the Knicks third best player. Like, I don't think he's as good as Evan Mobley.

[Bo]

You're 100% right. Like if you look at the two, but if you extend it to three, they may have the best three in the Eastern Conference. So you look around, obviously Tatum's not there. You look around the Eastern Conference, like Giannis is basically out of the picture. Who else do you have?

[Dan Le Batard]

The Cavs also have in Merrill three point shooting. Like, they have just a lot of stuff that I would want. And I know people are saying that they've tired of Kenny Atkinson, but it's legitimately confusing to Me, the way that team's gotten worse. That team. I look when Mike starts complaining about the Miami Heat and I just think about how hard it is to stay up there. I really thought the Orlando Magic were doing the kinds of moves that would make the ascent that Detroit has made where they can also be a problem for the Knicks. I thought that the things that Orlando did. When you, when you look at what's just changed, look at what has changed in I'm going to say the last 18 months since a McHale Bridges cost you five first round picks, a Rudy Gobert costs you five first round picks, a Desmond Bain when you're the worst. The Orlando Magic were the worst three point shooting team in the league. What do they do? They give up a bunch of future for Desmond Bane. They're a play in team.

[Micah Parsons]

They.

[Dan Le Batard]

They are not going to make the improvements that need to be made in order to knock off the Knicks. Even though I think they present matchup problems for their Knicks with their youth and their length. But every time Benchero plays and Franz V. Wagner is not out there, Benchero ends up making them worse.

[Bo]

That's the issue, right? Their foundation, their idea was correct. The foundation of what the Orlando Magic are built is a player that is inherently super flawed in Paulo Bonchero, who is not super efficient, who will take it on himself to outshoot the team from that game. And it's a tough situation when you got Franz Wagner, who I actually really like, who I think is a good second piece. He's kind of in and out of the lineup, always hurt. But the foundation is Bonchero is an All Star. He's going to be an All Star for 10 years and you're looking around saying he's okay, but he's not great.

[Dan Le Batard]

One of the things though, that's happened for James Harden, which we were talking about earlier as it related to Kyler Murray, man. When it comes to hope, another man's trash is a new fan base's treasure. They're falling in love with the beard in Cleveland because of what he represents.

[Mike]

Did a beard giveaway.

[Dan Le Batard]

They knew what they had there was not good enough. Can you guys find for me the photo that I believe is shocking of James Harden without a beard? Because you will understand why he wears that beard that way when you see him without a beard because he's doing something stupid stylistically and optically to just hide everything that's going on with his face. But he is somebody who is embraced in Cleveland now as if he's the shiny new thing who represents, oh, this is going to change our team. Do you understand?

[Bo]

As if.

[Dan Le Batard]

Well, but do you understand that the rest of the country is looking at what Cleveland just did and making the obvious jokes about, oh, what could possibly go wrong in ingredients? A team that has trouble in the playoffs is adding the player most associated with playoff trouble in that entire league, in fact, who's second now? Now that we've gotten rid of Carmelo Anthony. Play off P. Okay. Yeah, I guess we're still counting on him some way.

[Bo]

CP3 play more games at Tyler Hero this year.

[Dan Le Batard]

There is no player in the sport associated more now with playoff failure than the one Cleveland has added. And yet he represents hope to Cleveland and the novelty of the beard. Because what's more exciting than a score? Like what? What in that sport gives you more enthusiasm than a guy that you know can make 10 threes in any game and can get all the threes? You said that in the wrong voice.

[Tony]

No, no, no, no. I remember the Birdman acquisition. Nothing gets you ready for the home stretch like a high energy white. Ask Cleveland. They know all about deli.

[Dan Le Batard]

A high energy white, though. I feel like that should have been delivered in the Zagat voice. Why not?

[Tony]

Like, dude, the magic of March Madness. What is the secret sauce we've been telling you white guys and high energy white at the right time, right around that deadline, can change fortunes and it certainly ignites a fan base.

[Dan Le Batard]

Can you guys please help me with my new transition into more football talk and going from a high energy white into just football conversation with the Jason Garrett palate cleanser there at your leisure, Please. I just need for a transition. Jason Garrett sort of staring at a camera, making love to the camera and that gleaming sparkle of a tooth.

[Mike]

Jeremy, as you know, Lewis loves you right now.

[Tony]

No, it was a great idea to have a video cue up before we play another video.

[Dan Le Batard]

That's right.

[Tony]

Certainly capable.

[Dan Le Batard]

I did inform him of that, though. So let's play the Jason Garrett tooth, please. Thank you. Miles Garrett and Micah Parsons are getting into a back and forth about who's better. And I want to start start with Micah Parsons. I think we all agree, right? There's no dispute about this. No matter how great you think Micah Parsons is, the general consensus, to the degree that you can get a consensus on anything in conversation these days, is that Myles Garrett is better at this than Micah Parsons. That's not much of a slight on Micah Parsons, but Micah Parsons obviously does not believe that. So let's hear this back and forth, please.

[Micah Parsons]

Cowboys, packers, we all Know the truth. All them Cowboys fans don't love you no more. That record is only going to stand before so long. It is still currently my time because I still do things that none of y' all do. Who is none of y'?

[Dan Le Batard]

All?

[Micah Parsons]

Just because your light is. Is brightening itself doesn't mean mine is dimming in any way. I'm just saying I played 13 games, so obviously I'm getting to the quarterback. In 13 games, I had 18 sacks. What do you want? I need whole season, Whole season. Statistical category. You ain't playing a whole season. We lost half our starting lineup and still made the dance. Yep. And when you had your full starting lineup, we punched y' all in the mouth. How many games y' all win? 5. Hey, and guess what? We doing the same thing.

[Tony]

That was great.

[Dan Le Batard]

They're good talkers, the both of them. Micah Parsons enjoys. He's unusual in that not a lot of people are doing what he's doing. I know POD podcasts are prolific everywhere, but there aren't a whole lot of other Cowboys who are that interested in the off field life, of creating content that they're doing as much in podcasting as Micah Parsons is. But if you want to hear some more sound on this before Myles Garrett starts dunking on him with better arguments. Miles Garrett. I'm sorry. Micah Parsons legitimately thinks he's better listen.

[Micah Parsons]

To this sound because I still do things that none of y' all do. Who is none of y'? All?

[Bo]

Y'.

[Dan Le Batard]

All.

[Micah Parsons]

You will rest of the league like.

[Bo]

What?

[Micah Parsons]

Yeah. Hold on, hold on, hold on. Thank you, bro. Hold on, hold on. What are we talking about? Hold on, hold on, hold on.

[Dan Le Batard]

Yes.

[Micah Parsons]

That record stands, and we're not taking that away. There's nobody in the league who can line up from left to right and play every position as if they got paid at that position. Facts. I have a sack at every spot across the line. You can have a sack at. I'm talking about truly playing at my weight. I can't beat 240, bro. Facts. That's not what I'm asked to do. You know, I actually gotta set the edge. No, I play the run. Hold on. Get tfl. I get those, too. You have? Well, you got like four in the last two years. That's Cap. That's Cap. That's Cap. All right, Lil Cap. Lil Cap. Lil Cap. That record is only gonna stand before so long. It is still currently my time.