The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz

Hour 2: "Zaslow Gets Cucked By Billy Crystal" (feat. House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries)

Date: December 17, 2025
Main Guests: Hakeem Jeffries (House Minority Leader), Amin Elhassan, Jonathan Zaslow, Chris Cote, Stugotz, and others

Episode Overview

This lively hour of “The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz” balances playful, irreverent sports shtick and absurd dream confessions with a sharp, extended appearance from House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries. Broadcasting from Downtown Miami’s Elser Hotel, the crew (Dan, Stugotz, Chris, Amin, Zaslow, and Hakeem) tease Zaslow about a bizarre dream featuring his wife and Billy Crystal and dissect everything from New York Knicks fandom and college football playoff controversies to Congress’ recent legislative maneuvering.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. The Boost Mobile Boldest Take — Segment Kickoff

• Segment: [01:38–03:44]
• Dan introduces the show's (allegedly) "inconsistent" bold calls hotline, ribbing the segment and the callers.
• In a series of quick takes, panelists riff on sports, pop culture, and each other:
  • Zaslow: "Brunch is just an excuse to drink." [02:37]
  • Dan: "Dazzlo looks like a skeleton wrapped in masking tape." [02:40]
  • Chris: "It's the Boost Mobile Boldest Take, and it's presented by Boost Mobile, the newest 5G network in the country." [02:30]

2. Knicks Fandom and Hakeem Jeffries' New York Sports Perspective

• Segment: [03:44–08:21]

• Hakeem Jeffries, a proud Knicks fan, reflects on the significance of recent Knicks success:

  • Hakeem Jeffries: "I'm a long suffering Knicks fan... I'm also a Yankee fan. I'm a Jets fan, so that's a disaster." [04:08]
  • Dan presses him to name the most beloved Knick of his lifetime.
  • Hakeem Jeffries: "Bernard King." [06:54]
  • Hakeem unpacks the legacy of Bernard King, Patrick Ewing, Walt "Clyde" Frazier, Earl Monroe, and the emergence of Jalen Brunson.
  • On banners for the in-season NBA tournament:
    • Hakeem Jeffries: "Well, no, I don’t think we should put up a ban. I don't want to go that far..." [07:00]

• Memorable Moment: Hakeem’s nostalgia and deep sports knowledge blend expertly with the panel’s jesting and personal digressions.

3. College Football Playoff and ACC Controversy

• Segment: [08:21–10:48]

• Dan raises the Notre Dame snub in the CFP and the Miami/ACC tiebreak controversy.

  • Hakeem Jeffries: "A mathematician can't understand that tiebreaker for the second seed... How Duke winds up in the ACC Championship seemed to me... to set in motion a chain of events that ultimately jammed Notre Dame." [09:08]

• Hakeem critiques ACC’s tiebreak and alignment policies, suggesting structural change is crucial to avoid future “traffic jams.”

  • Stugotz (wryly): "Their solution is some teams play eight conference games, another group plays nine and we'll see what happens." [10:37]

4. Real-World Legislative Update with Hakeem Jeffries

• Segment: [14:07–22:48]

a. Lane Kiffin Protection Act & Congressional Sports Fandom

• Hakeem describes the overlap of sports and politics — using the Lane Kiffin/NIL congressional saga as an example.
  • Hakeem Jeffries: “Sports is such an important part of life, particularly during these complicated times where we're dealing with so many heavy issues..." [14:14]
  • On NCAA regulation: "[The SCORE act] doesn't necessarily provide college athletes with... compensation... It does nothing to rein in... outlaw behavior by some of the college coaches... and would constrain the ability of college athletes to really earn what they should be earning..." [15:47]

b. Legislative Maneuvering: Affordable Care Act Extension

• Hakeem explains the discharge petition to force a vote on ACA tax credits.
  • Hakeem Jeffries: “We launched what we call a discharge petition…so we can protect the health care of tens of millions of folks...We got earlier today 218 signatures, which was a big development. Now, that does force the speaker to bring the bill to the floor." [18:11]
  • Vote may not come until January due to Congressional procedural rules.

c. Looming Shutdown, Trump & Venezuela Sabre-Rattling

• Dan: "Is there going to be another government shutdown?" [19:24]
  • Hakeem Jeffries: “The government funding is scheduled to lapse on January 30th... that's a lifetime in Congress... there's an opportunity for us to come together in a bipartisan way to find the common ground..." [19:28]
• On Trump and Venezuela:
  • Hakeem Jeffries: “The last thing in the world that we need is another foreign war that inevitably ends in disaster." [20:53]

d. Titles: "Leader" vs. "Hakeem"

- **Hakeem Jeffries**: “When I’m back at home, people call me Hakeem… I’ve always interpreted it as a sign that I've been... effective...in establishing a close relationship with the people..." [21:50]

5. Zaslow’s Bizarre Dream and the Infamous “Billy Crystal Cuckold” Story

• Segment: [26:36–34:11]

Zaslow’s Dream Confession

• Zaslow recounts a vivid, unsettling dream where his wife openly cheats on him — with legendary comedian Billy Crystal.

  • Zaslow: "My wife was, I can say, she was cheating on me… she was openly having an affair...like, in front of me..." [28:05]
  • Chris Cote: “It’s like you’re a cuck.” [28:16]
  • Zaslow (sheepishly): "You'll never guess it. It's so not even worth going... Billy Crystal." [30:12]
  • Team erupts in laughter, with endless riffs on the meaning and logistics of being "cucked" by an 80-year-old Billy Crystal.
    • Stugotz: "You got cucked by Billy Crystal. That's..." [30:14]
    • Chris Cote: "I'd be like, fist me, Billy." [30:28]

• Zaslow’s wife laughs uproariously; the panel can’t believe how absurd and specific the dream is.

  • Dan: “That is the appropriate response there...I have a number of follow up questions.” [30:34]

6. Surreal Dream Sharing: Amin, Chris, and Childhood Dream Recurrence

• Segment: [34:11–42:54]

Amin Elhassan’s Dream: Flying Away from Bad NBA Owners

• Amin dreamt he was part of an NBA ownership group led by a stubborn Eastern European MMA fighter; in embarrassment, he sneaks away to the bathroom and starts levitating.
  • Amin: "I levitated. I levitated in the bathroom. So once I got to the bathroom, I did not touch the bathroom floor. I flew about 8ft high." [35:46]
  • On flying dreams: “[It] always starts the same way. It's like, what if I jumped and then I didn't land? That's the secret of flying.” [35:57]

The Team Reflects on Dream Patterns

• Dan, Chris, Zaslow, and Stugotz discuss falling vs. flying dreams, returning to dreams after waking, and recurring childhood dreams.
  • Dan: “Can you fly in your dreams? Because I cannot fly in my dreams.” [36:06]
  • Amin: “Not only am I not surprised, sometimes, Dan, I’m like, holy shit. Maybe this one isn’t the dream.” [41:51]
  • Zaslow: “This is delusion of grandeur at its greatest scale. That Amin, in his heart of hearts, believes that he should be capable of levitating if I try hard enough.” [42:19]
• They joke about the symbolism of Amin’s dreams — trapped by incompetent NBA owners, he can only soar (literally) in private.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Hakeem Jeffries [06:54]:

  "Bernard King."
  — On the most beloved Knick of his lifetime.

• Hakeem Jeffries [14:14]:

  “Sports is such an important part of life, particularly during these complicated times where we're dealing with so many heavy issues..."

• Hakeem Jeffries [20:53]:

  “The last thing in the world that we need is another foreign war that inevitably ends in disaster.”

• Jonathan Zaslow [30:12]:

  "You'll never guess it... Billy Crystal." — Who his wife was unfaithful with, in his dream.

• Chris Cote [30:28]:

  "I'd be like, fist me, Billy."
  — His hypothetical reaction to Billy Crystal in the dream scenario.

• Amin Elhassan [35:46]:

  "I levitated in the bathroom...I flew about 8ft high."

• Dan Le Batard [41:51]:

  "You levitate so much in your dreams that while you're levitating in your dream, you're totally unsurprised by it because you're like, this is what I always do. It's who I am."

Timestamps for Major Segments

• Boost Mobile Boldest Take segment intro: [01:38–03:44]
• Hakeem Jeffries Knicks fandom & greatest player debate: [03:44–08:21]
• ACC/Notre Dame Playoff controversy discussion: [08:21–10:48]
• Hakeem Jeffries on sports, policy, and Congress: [14:07–22:48]
• Zaslow recounts Billy Crystal dream: [26:36–34:11]
• Amin’s flying/levitating dream & dream analysis: [34:11–42:54]

Episode Flow, Tone, and Takeaways

This episode exemplifies the show’s signature blend of sharp political insight, hyper-local sports banter, and pure silliness. Hakeem Jeffries holds his own, seamlessly moving from legislative nuance to Knicks nostalgia; the crew prods him with good-natured sports & politics questions.

The latter half is dominated by surreal dream stories, culminating in the utterly ridiculous (yet totally earnest) Zaslow “Billy Crystal cuckold” tale—an instant classic, drawing cackling and disbelief even among this jaded cast.

The hosts’ conversational, offbeat, and irreverent tone remains intact throughout, balancing deep dives into serious policy and athletics with unfiltered, sometimes absurd personal stories.

For listeners who missed the episode:
Expect whip-fast shifts between Congress and the Knicks, genuine political clarity, hilarious dream therapy, and one of the wildest dream confessions in sports radio. And yes, if you only remember one thing: Zaslow got cucked by Billy Crystal—in his dreams.