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Dan Le Batard
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Jeremy
K Pop Demon Hunters Saja Boys Breakfast meal and Hunt Tricks meal have just dropped at McDonald's. They're calling this a battle for the fans.
Dan Le Batard
What do you say to that, Rumi? It's not a battle. So glad the Saja Boys could take breakfast and give our meal the rest of the day. It is an honor to share.
Charles
No, it's our honor.
Dan Le Batard
It is our larger honor.
Zaz
No, really, stop.
Jeremy
You can really feel the respect in this battle. Pick a meal to pick a side.
Dan Le Batard
Ba da ba ba ba. And participate in McDonald's.
Jeremy
While supplies last.
Dan Le Batard
Last night you spent two hours deciding what to wear to the party this morning. It'll take you two minutes to list it on Depop and make your money back. Just grab your phone, snap a few photos and we'll take care of the rest. The sheer dress and platform heels you'll never wear again. There's a birthday girl searching for them right now. Your one and done look is about to pay for your next night out, or at least the ride home. Your style can make you cash. Start selling on Depop, where taste recognizes taste. This is the Dan Levatar show with the Stugats podcast.
Amin Elhassan
There's Amin, and Amin will enjoy this just as much as I do. Doug Christie is back. He's coming back next season. Zaslow for the 2260 Sacramento Kings.
Zaz
The Kings are tanking, but I don't think Doug Christie knows that they're tanking.
Amin Elhassan
And they have Russell Westbrook and they have DeMar DeRozan. It's not exactly a young team. And this allows us to celebrate with Amin this epic Doug Christie sound, which I believe to be the best thing about his king's tenure.
Doug Christie
Good evening. Good evening, some of you guys. I think everybody in here knows me. If you don't. My name is Douglas Dale Christie. I'm head coach of the Sacramento Kings. Okay, change Is hard, y'.
Dan Le Batard
All.
Doug Christie
We bout to work at it like crazy. We totally get that. And it'll be bumpy. It will, because change is like that. But buckle up for the real ones. Buckle up. And for all the rest of you, you know who you are. You know how I feel about that when I see the hate, the haters, the fakers, all you guys, you keep that energy. That's good. You keep that. And you know who you are. Because while you doing that, we're going to be working. And while you doing that, we're going to be growing. And while you do that, eventually we going to be coming the King show Sac Prout know that
Amin Elhassan
22 and 60, they've made the playoffs once in the last 20 seasons.
Dan Le Batard
It's amazing, isn't it? Isn't it incredible? Like, you see, you hear a speech like that and you like, oh, man, they must have really turned it on after that. And, like, not really. They actually got worse after he gave that speech. And it just highlights. Dan, I think sometimes we conflate. Tanking with your team just sucks. In the case of the Sacramento Kings, they might have done things to, you know, throw gas on the fire late in the season, like that game where they intentionally fouled Seth Curry. But they just suck. That fire was blazing long before they started doing things to exacerbate it.
Amin Elhassan
You are one of the nation's great defenders of Shaq. I believe that he did something that was wrong to a poor. A poor guy on live television. Played it off well. But let's play for the audio audience. This is an Indiana couple at a Pacers game. The man is just yammering. This video has gone viral. Nobody can hear what they're saying. She's just sort of enduring it on the side of her face. And then she says, that's you. That's who you are. And he sort of says, yeah, I kind of am. And so that is real love, right?
Jeremy
Oh, it's true love. The entire Internet just fell in love with this couple. I believe their names are Grace and Michael. And they went viral from this. And it was so awesome because it's not just like, oh, that's you. It's. That's you. What the f are you talking about?
Amin Elhassan
That's right. She told it to us straight.
Jeremy
The look that he gives of just like, yeah, all right. Yeah, you're right. It truly is exactly what true love is. And they, after they went viral, were interviewed on a variety of different places. They went on a Pacers podcast. It was 30 minutes long that I listened to every single second of it because they're the greatest.
Amin Elhassan
Soccer for love.
Jeremy
Oh, yeah. And all they were talking about was a New York Times podcast with Ben Sasse in which he was. Or it might have been an article in which he was talking about the sickness that he's going through, but ultimately pivoted to the way that liberal arts educations need to change to ultimately help
Dan Le Batard
we not just
Amin Elhassan
review.
Jeremy
You don't want to hear that, because they were just. They were just. They were just talking about this totally boring thing. And yet this moment is captured. And it's the rare one where I didn't see any negative backlash online. Everyone agreeing this is what true love is.
Amin Elhassan
I'm here for the negative backlash, cuz I know Amin's not gonna support Shaq on what he did to this guy on telev. So let's play this for Amin here so people can see that this Indiana couple is very much in love. Yes, but Shaq shouldn't have done this.
Dan Le Batard
I'll tell you what. If you ask her to marry you right now, I'll buy the engagement ring. Ooh, listen, listen, listen to her right now. Do it right now. Get on your knee right now. I'll buy the ring. I'll send you.
Amin Elhassan
Hey, look into the capsule when you do that. Oh, look at her face, man.
Dan Le Batard
If you guys agree to come to the wedding, we'll do that. I'll come to the wedding. No, no, you can't.
Amin Elhassan
Well, we got to tell us what
Dan Le Batard
the wedding is first. We can do that. Ask her right now.
Amin Elhassan
Go ahead.
Dan Le Batard
I didn't agree to this.
Amin Elhassan
I didn't agree to that.
Jeremy
I love her.
Amin Elhassan
What about. What about the bride? What about the bride?
Charles
You love her, Jeremy.
Mike
Okay, but she's the best. Kenny the Jet Smith can come to our wedding.
Dan Le Batard
Yeah. Well, I love that Charles asked. Wait a second. Where is this wedding gonna be? Because they are at a Pacers game when this happens, right? So it's like, ah, I don't know, man. I'm not gonna commit to anything as I love Charles. Basically clearing that up first. But as far as shack goes, I'm gonna tell you this gentleman and gentle lady. That dude still owes me a thousand dollars from a similar type situation. Hey, man, if you do this, I'll give you a thousand dollars. And then I did the thing, and it took a long time, and it was a very precarious situation, but I ended up getting the thing I was supposed to get. And then he said, hey, come later,
Amin Elhassan
by not enough details in that story. There are details missing in that story that make that story stink. I understand what you're saying. I know, I know.
Dan Le Batard
You can't say I was supposed to procure the contact information of a certain someone that I did did it. It took 40 minutes to do it, but I ended up procuring said contact information. And when I came to collect, I was told, hey, after practice. And then after practice, hey, I got to go get it from my room. It's what, 18 years later to be kidding me?
Amin Elhassan
That's. That's wrong.
Dan Le Batard
Well, I'm just saying, like Shaq does these things. Like he's the same guy who will go to a pharmacy and pay for everybody's medication in line is the same guy who might say, hey man, if you do this, I'll give you a thousand bucks. And like, ah, doesn't really work out. So I, I applaud them for erring on the side of caution and not jumping into something just because Shaq said he going to do it.
Amin Elhassan
Time now for Amin's weekend Observations.
Zaz
It is time for to share his game notes.
Dan Le Batard
No one in the media will tell you what happened better than my voice.
Doug Christie
I mean.
Dan Le Batard
Weekend Observations is brought to you by Miller Light. Legendary moments start with a light. This week of weekend observations will be presented without interruption for laughter, discussion or any other kind of engagement. The playoff picture is set. Some familiar faces in familiar places. The Thunder are once again the number one overall seed. The Celtics are once again the favorites in the east. And just like that, make no mistake, the Miami Heat in the end of the play in tournament is back. 10 seed baby. DeAndre Ayton finding out from post game media question that the Lakers will play Houston in the first round. Way to be locked in, bro. You know who wouldn't make that mistake?
Amin Elhassan
Jazz chisel.
Dan Le Batard
Houston Rockets big man Clint Capella. Doc Rivers stepping down as head coach but will remain with the team in a front office capacity. Smooth operator Tyson Fury and Anthony Joshua. Collision course Con Fuhrman, Tyrese Halliburton. It doesn't look like he's on the same recovery plan that Jayson Tatum was on. High calorie diet going on there.
Zaz
The bad angle, sure.
Dan Le Batard
Whoa, you're not wearing a hat. Holy shit.
Amin Elhassan
Nice head, asshole.
Dan Le Batard
Giannis said people listen to sources but they don't listen to the main source. Me Gitpo Giannis in the next breath saying, don't ask me, ask my wife. She wears the pants in the relationship. Go find her. Social media. What are you doing, my brother? President Trump sending Vice President J.D. vance to handle the negotiations on Dune peace talks. Heady play. See then that way when it doesn't work, it's his fault. He didn't know the art of the deal, didn't read the book. Angel Reese traded to the Atlanta Dream. Juju, your phone is about to be blowing up for ticket requests for the next six months. New season of Bar Rescue, and we've got you covered at. Here's the Science of Bar Rescue podcast, hosted by real life bar and restaurant consultant Chelsea Reynolds, commercial kitchen and food truck vet Colin Cassard, and two guys who need no encouragement for looking up the social media profiles of women, Zach Harper and myself. Wherever you get podcasts, Rory McElroy blew the biggest lead in Masters history. In my personal record book, Rory McElroy did not win the Masters.
Amin Elhassan
What?
Dan Le Batard
I can't tell you who won the Masters instead of Rory because I have no idea who came in second. I don't watch that shit.
Amin Elhassan
So he choked.
Dan Le Batard
We talk.
Amin Elhassan
We were talking about this earlier. He choked. Did he choke?
Dan Le Batard
Of course he choked.
Amin Elhassan
But he won the Masters.
Dan Le Batard
Doesn't matter. My personal record book, he didn't. The guy who came in second, whoever that is, that guy won the Masters. Dumb sport. Excuse me? I mean, dumb game. It's not a sport. They walk. Heart rate never goes up. Is it true broadcasters are not allowed to call fans fans at the Masters? If so, get fo. Simone Fontechio said he hopes to resign with the heat. Good phone to you too, sir. Simone. Better hope they forgot about November through March. Maybe he can distract them by posting Greg Cody's who Making a Salad? No, no. Who is this guy? Like, who is this guy? Oh, you can't make it one of my.
Amin Elhassan
You can't do that to Simone Fontech. Yeah, you can't. Who make of the Sal? Simone Fontechio?
Dan Le Batard
I didn't. I said he should post Greg Cody's who Make it a Salad. And then he like, upset, like, how could they do this? And maybe that'll distract from November through March of his season. Hey, Zaz.
Doug Christie
Yup.
Dan Le Batard
I watched Stranger Things for the first four seasons.
Mike
Good show.
Dan Le Batard
This is absolutely a children's show. They just littered it with Easter eggs in order to lure in adults. That's it. That's all they did. Hey, let's mention some 80s stuff. And the adults will watch too.
Zaz
I mean, kids die.
Dan Le Batard
So your kids don't watch shows where kids die?
Zaz
Not children shows.
Amin Elhassan
Put it on the Pol at Lebatard show. Do you? Do your kids watch shows where kids die.
Dan Le Batard
Hey man, my kids watch everything. What could I say? Speaking of Easter eggs, Darth Amin's rule of two is back. We're doing live reviews and going over Easter eggs Every Wednesday on YouTube at 3pm Eastern. Chat engagement and everything. Podcast version posted on Count the Things Patreon. Follow me I post it every Wednesday. Or Anthony Mays. Either of them is Clippers warriors the greatest playing game in NBA history. Also, how is it fair for the Thunder to have the best record in the league? And the reward is to have to either deal with Kawhi or Steph in the first round? That collective sound of oh shit you heard yesterday was the city of New York realizing the Hawks dropped to six.
Amin Elhassan
Yep, they they would have had it so easy against Toronto. So easy.
Dan Le Batard
They were 50 against Toronto.
Amin Elhassan
They were 13130 over the last 13 against Toronto. Toronto cannot and they win them all by double digits. Toronto has no shot against the Knicks.
Dan Le Batard
Well, guess what? That's something the Knicks don't have to worry about. They gotta play that red hot Atlanta Hawks. Holy shit. Brutal. Cinephobe Episode 306 the Odd Couple 2 starring Walter Matthau and Jack Lemmon Two observations. 1. Neil Simon is a grifter and a fraud.
Doug Christie
Whoa.
Dan Le Batard
Get out of my face. Neil Simon. Who is this guy?
Charles
Number two, literally, who is Neil Simon?
Dan Le Batard
Walter Matthau's face. Walter Matthau's face looks like he was one of the Nazis at the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark. But then he closed his eyes and got away, so it didn't.
Amin Elhassan
What kind of thing is that to say about Walter Matthow's face? Why did you just do that to Walter Mathow's face?
Dan Le Batard
I'm going to hell for that one. Speaking of hell, Art Briles those are the weekend observations, folks.
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Mike
Hey, Roy, buddy. Yo. You know that energy shift when the game gets good and everybody all together in unison knows to stand up on their feet? Oh, absolutely, Mike.
Doug Christie
Yeah.
Mike
You've been at many big time sporting events. You know that moment quite well. That's what it's like when you take your first sip of Cuervo.
Doug Christie
Oh, delicious.
Mike
It's the signal that says, we're not checking the time anymore, pal. It's when small talk turns into stories. Cuervo, man. It's that high five. A random stranger effect. That's right. The game is popping. You're hugging people you never met before. That's the kind of energy that Cuervo brings. It's so smooth, so delicious. That's the Cuervo effect. Keep it Cuervo.
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Dan Le Batard
See moneyline.com Don LeBatard we're gonna win.
Mike
Stugats.
Dan Le Batard
We're gonna win.
Amin Elhassan
They're annoying.
BetterHelp/MoneyLion Ad Voice
What an old reference.
Dan Le Batard
This is the Dan Levatar show with the stugats.
Amin Elhassan
Tony just asked me, who is Neil Simon?
Dan Le Batard
Dude, let me. Let me do that. Let me do this answer. Neil Simon is this dude who at one point was like the richest man on Broadway. He was making all these Broadway plays and they were doing really well at a time when going to the Broadway and going to the play was a big deal in America. And then someone said, hey, let's adapt some of these plays to make a movies. And most of them really weren't that good people. The Odd Couple movie, it sucked, man. I watched that shit. And then they made a sequel 30 years later. And he wrote the sequel and it sucked even harder. And Neil Simon is just this guy who's living. Living off of reputation. Him and Andrew Lloyd Webber and all those guys.
Jeremy
Hold on a minute.
Amin Elhassan
Weber.
Dan Le Batard
Frauds.
Jeremy
Watch your mouth.
Amin Elhassan
Frauds and grifters.
Dan Le Batard
You ever watch Cats? Hell no, Jeremy. You watch Cats.
Jeremy
You're nitpicking.
Dan Le Batard
Have you watched. Now I'm not saying the movie. Have you watched Cats? The play?
Jeremy
It's truly dreadful.
Dan Le Batard
Thank you.
Jeremy
Yeah, but that's.
Dan Le Batard
Explain it to me. Okay. Have you ever watched the Phantom of the Opera?
Doug Christie
Yeah.
Mike
That's great.
Amin Elhassan
I fell asleep during the Phantom of the Opera. I did.
Jeremy
Uncultured.
Amin Elhassan
But that's because of me. That's. That's my fault. That's not. That's not the place.
Dan Le Batard
That's not your fault. Not your fault. For you. Opera not your fault. Banner. The opera sucks. Opera weird creepy stalker who lives in the. Lives in the. In the rafters and just like stalks and like fantasizes about some broad. That's awful. That's disgusting. Jeremy. I thought you were an ally. Not an ally. If you like that.
Jeremy
It's literally impossible to love Andrew Lloyd Webber and not be an ally.
Amin Elhassan
Some broad.
Dan Le Batard
He's stalking. He's stalking her. He said. What was he doing? Why is he touching himself? Singing slowly with a mask on? Of course he's got a mask on. Yeah. Tony, let me tell you something.
Charles
Something I would never watch, but now I'm definitely not watching.
Dan Le Batard
Yeah. Andrew Lloyd Webber, man. Creep.
Amin Elhassan
You mentioned. You mentioned something during weekend observations that I did want to talk to you about because I was really excited for Renee Montgomery when she traded for Angel Reese. Do people understand what she's just done for that franchise in that city? Like, that's crazy in terms of linking up somebody to a city. O know she's polarizing elsewhere. Watch how we embrace her.
Dan Le Batard
I thought you wanted to talk about J.D. vance in the doom peace talks. But okay. Yeah. Angel Reese. No, that's a big move. That's a big move by the Atlanta dream. You know, she absolutely brings in star power in Atlanta more than perhaps any other city in America with a professional sports franchise. They are star chasers. They love them. Someone famous for the sake of being famous. It doesn't matter. They will support and love and obviously she's a tremendous player. But like, whatever the flaws he has in her game that were more pronounced. Maybe in Chicago, more kind of discerning sports town. Atlanta will not give a shit, man. They're going to be there. They're going to support her. They're going to love her. And maybe that's, that's the path through which she comes to realize her, her great potential.
Amin Elhassan
One of the things I mentioned during your weekend observations was the quote from Jazz Chisholm. If any of you were following baseball this week and the A's went to New York and went 5 and 1 against the Mets and the Yank and threw three shutouts against the Mets and the Yankees, which just in terms of money spent, is a funny thing to witness. I don't know if any of you were following that, but after the game, Jazz Chisholm clearly didn't know what the double play rule was that you have to, you know, he was trying to turn a double play and that a run will score if you get the second out by somebody tagging somebody at second base instead of doing it the traditional way. He just didn't know what the rule was. Clearly didn't know what the rule was, botched the play anyway, but then made it worse by not knowing what the rule was. What kind of thing in basketball would you point to? I mean, other than J.R. smith forgetting the score, which is the most egregious thing about. What do you mean? That guy didn't know something this simple about basketball?
Dan Le Batard
Yeah, J.R. smith. I'm not going to pile on him because again, it's in the finals. That's what makes the moment that much more egregious. If that happened in a regular season game, we wouldn't care. But at the same time, it being in the finals and that stressful situation, like stress does weird things to people and, and I, you know, I, I like, I feel for him more than I blame him. It's not, that's not a fundamental lack of knowledge. That's just a brain fart at the worst possible time. Deandre Ayton not knowing who they're going to play, Buddy, like and like, I guarantee there's no way they played that game. The results are in and JJ Redick did not enter the locker room and say, all right, guys, we got to get ready for Houston this coming week. We're going to all be like, absolutely. This is the speech that happened after the last regular season game. For a team that's going to the playoffs, if, if it wasn't said there, it would have been said by any number of teammates. It would have been said before the game, hey, you know, if so and so wins and we lose or whatever, we're going to end up playing Houston in the first round. Like all of these Things would have happened. So for him to be like, really? Who said that? I wish I had the clip. Because he. He literally questions like, do you have the right information? And the report, I think it's Dave McMenamond says, yeah, the league said that. What are you. What are you talking about? It's like, oh, you ruined the surprise is what. Deandre Ayton said that. I mean, like, for a guy who is at his stature of player, you cannot afford to be so flippant. Jazz Chisholm is pretty good. He can be flippant because you know, he can do something amazing to make up for it down the line. DeAndre Aiden, you're fighting for your job, dude. You are someone who should not feel comfortable at all in your profession. And he exhibits all the behavior of someone who's like, nah, that's cool. I'll figure it out. Like, because I'm that good.
Amin Elhassan
Well, is that ignorance or is that doesn't care? Because before you came on here today, we spent a lot of time talking about trying to come up with a second time in the history of sports, of us remembering all of sports. A season that was so dominated by the accusations of these people don't care about winning or these people don't care about playing.
Dan Le Batard
Hyperbole. You guys are hyperbole. Hyperbole, yes. The last couple of months, we've had a lot of talk about tanking the entire season. No, sir. The entire season. We had the great start of the Spurs. We had the NBA cup and the Knicks finally winning something. We had the trades that happened at the trade deadline, the trade that didn't happen with Giannis. We had aspiration and the Clippers tampering or, excuse me, the Clippers cap circumvention case. All of these were massive storylines that dominated the stories. And then towards the end of the year, we started talking about, hey, man, these teams are really tanking a lot worse than it usually happens. And you guys are going to say that was the entire season. I disagree wholeheartedly.
Amin Elhassan
Well, we headed to the All Star Game and we were flattered that they cared. It's been a conversation point. Some. Some of this has been a conversation point about the league for a while. You object to it, you don't like it.
Jeremy
You.
Amin Elhassan
You celebrate the league. You know, you're surrounded by it.
Dan Le Batard
I think that people focus on whatever they want to focus. I thought Jeremy made an excellent point about Tommy John surgery. And like, we don't look at that with pitchers. Why do we look at it with basketball? And Mike's response was like, yeah, I don't care. Right? Like, that's basically what it comes to. It's like, oh, wait a second. Oh, yeah. Mike even said, yeah, I actually can see the comparisons there. But I still don't care. And at that point, that's why I say the league has a PR Issue, because it's not about facts. It's about people just feeling like, yeah, I don't care. I don't care what the facts are. I still believe what I believe.
Jeremy
I want.
Amin Elhassan
I want to play for you here. And don't get distracted. The ulcer is always trying to improve, and there may be some loud noise that you hear. I can imagine that it's gotten louder for me, so it's gotten louder for everybody. But I'm gonna push.
Dan Le Batard
Sounds like a drone strike.
Amin Elhassan
You know what? I'm gonna stop down for a second so I don't do this to the audience for. Okay, I'm gonna stay online then, and do this for both Amin and the audience. Roy, can you get the sounds? I want Amin to judge from among the mistakes made on this show. I want him to give me what he believes in the last 10 days or so is the worst of the mistakes that have been around here. Zaz, do you think you're going to win?
Zaz
I don't want to taint the jury pool. Let's just do it.
Jeremy
Do you like breathing? Hot neck on hot. Hot air on the neck. Teenagers.
Amin Elhassan
Hot neck.
Doug Christie
Good start,
Charles
Ruri uchimara.
Amin Elhassan
This is just gonna be tickling. I mean, just go ahead and keep.
Mike
I think Lamar Jackson's lost half a step.
Dan Le Batard
That was all right. That was a regular misstep.
Zaz
Coach, did the winning feel better than losing in the final four with fau?
Dan Le Batard
Oh, man. I was listening to that live. I was so happy. I was so happy.
Zaz
Why were you happy?
Dan Le Batard
I don't know. It made me happy that it was you. Like, if anyone else had asked it, I would be like, shut up. But it was as. I'm like, yeah,
Charles
100.
Jeremy
100.
Charles
Oh, come on, let's banter. What are we doing there,
Amin Elhassan
McCarthy, not
Dan Le Batard
Roy.
Amin Elhassan
Do me a favor grabbing for me some. I couldn't. All right, that's enough.
Dan Le Batard
That's a lot.
Amin Elhassan
Yeah, that's a.
Dan Le Batard
That was a lot. Mike tried to tell you that's a lot. Hold on, hold on. I love your abandoning of JJ. McCarthy. Just. McCarthy, just forget about the JJ part. The second one that you had there, you almost sounded like you were calling someone a. See you next.
Amin Elhassan
All right. See you next Monday. I mean, thank you. Good talking to you.
Mike
I'll allow you to misrepresent what I said without any banter this time. See ya.
Amin Elhassan
See you later.
Jeremy
Dan. Do you want the relationship advice from those Pacers fans?
Mike
Not at all. What I said.
Dan Le Batard
Don Libertard doesn't matter. Anywhere. We could do it in Buffalo or Baltimore either. He said you could do it where? Anywhere. Oh, whoa. Oh, that's crazy. That's crazy. That's crazy. He said he could do it anywhere. That's crazy. Murder. Murder. Tell him Stugach.
Mike
I had no idea Mean had that in his locker.
Dan Le Batard
That might be his death. That's crazy.
Amin Elhassan
I'm not kidding.
Dan Le Batard
That's crazy.
Doug Christie
Killer.
Dan Le Batard
It's two America's Dad. You don't get it. This is the Dan Levatar show with the stugats.
Amin Elhassan
Jeremy would listen to a third minute podcast about this Pacers couple that has gone viral.
Zaz
Time like that.
Amin Elhassan
She tweeted, tell me you don't have a kid. She tweeted this about the original clip of them. I'm crying. I love my boyfriend. This is just how we talk. Her name is Grace Camille and she has now said that about the engagement ring stuff.
Dan Le Batard
All right.
Amin Elhassan
I agreed to do this so my boy could talk about basketball. So love that. So now Shaq is on the. He's on the hook for the ring. There's going to. No.
Mike
Yeah.
Charles
As Amin just said, it's going to be hard pressed for buddy to have the. Hey, where do I call Shaq Barkley
Amin Elhassan
wouldn't even commit to the wedding. They're. They're using this couple for 10 minutes on ESPN and they will never think of you again.
Jeremy
I think that's right.
Zaz
I think Shaq is definitely paying for that ring.
Jeremy
Definitely not.
Charles
Have you been listening the last 10 minutes of the show?
Amin Elhassan
He owes a mean.
Charles
He owes him a thousand dollars for
Amin Elhassan
getting some number for some guy from 18 years ago.
Zaz
Shaq is really generous with stuff like this. Like I don't care that he's not paying a mean. That has nothing to do with anything. Shaq's really good about stuff. Like Shaq is definitely going to buy that engagement ring.
Jeremy
They're not engaged. They're not getting engaged.
Charles
Had to be live one day moment on tv.
Jeremy
He said, get on a knee now and I'll pay for it. That's the other dance for me, clown.
Amin Elhassan
Yes, he did do that. That is how Amin didn't take any issue with that. Did not criticize that. Just turned it into a story about Himself.
Charles
Very zaz of him.
Zaz
Who would do that.
Jeremy
So you don't want the advice then?
Amin Elhassan
No, thank you. Just maybe another time. Put it off until never.
Jeremy
Okay.
Charles
You.
Zaz
That reminds me. You wanted me to put a pin in it a few hours ago about the number one seeds in each conference not finding out their opponents until Friday. I'm reminding you now. What do you got?
Charles
Good pin.
Amin Elhassan
So the Heat learned last night in the locker room. Jeremy was bobbing in there and out of there like an FBI director in a celebr. He shouldn't have been around. And they're watching.
Jeremy
It's my job to be there.
Charles
Celebrating what, the 10th seed?
Jeremy
Not a celebration.
Amin Elhassan
Well, they beat the Hawks. They beat. They.
Dan Le Batard
They beat. Buddy healed. Buddy healed.
Amin Elhassan
Went in the Wayback machine and was drilling from all over the place. And they knocked out.
Dan Le Batard
Buddy healed.
Amin Elhassan
Because the Hawks weren't trying, which was confusing to me. I thought they should try. That's going to be a good series. The Hawks and the Knicks is going to be a lot of fun.
Zaz
That was a mistake by Atlanta.
Amin Elhassan
Oh, my God.
Zaz
I mean, it was a mistake by Atlanta. Yes, but. But they also figured that Orlando was going to be.
Charles
That's the Boston. That's the point they were thinking.
Zaz
And because Orlando lost, Hawks screwed themselves.
Jeremy
I asked Quinn Snyder before the game. I was like, hey, did you put any thought into the.
Zaz
Definitely put a lot of thought into it.
Jeremy
Right. Did you take into account that while. Yes. Several things need to go one way. There is a scenario in which you guys drop to the six. Right.
Zaz
But those things were pretty likely to happen.
Amin Elhassan
Well, no.
Zaz
Didn't.
Jeremy
No. What it took was the Hawks needed to lose, the Raptors needed to win over Brooklyn, and they need Orlando to be Lando BC team. Exactly. To be able to stay in the spot they were in.
Zaz
They should have.
Jeremy
It all should have gone their way.
Mike
Yeah.
Jeremy
But there was a scenario where it wouldn't. And he said, no, we just want to make sure we go into this healthy. Our guys are rested, we're comfortable. We'll deal with that when we get there. Which was surprising to me because there is a huge difference, you would think, between playing Cleveland and playing New York.
Zaz
They were playing the odds. They thought they can get everything, rest their guys and get the five seed. And it didn't work.
Jeremy
It was startling. But in that locker room after the game, which, by the way, Gabe Vincent was hanging out in there as well, which I thought was fun. It was so crazy watching the Heat watch the Magic, who they've lost to five times this season and just get so frustrated with the fact that the Magic weren't able to close out this game against Luke Garza because they're like, bro, Paolo, what are you doing? There was a moment where Paolo passed up a three, and they're all looking at each other like, what the hell is going on? And then Jalen Suggs hit a pull up three, which he hasn't done basically all year. And Drew Smith turned around and goes, yeah, that's. That's the Jalen that we've been playing against all season long. He only plays like that against us.
Zaz
Boston C team beats Orlando. Heat lost the Magic five times, and
Jeremy
it meant that the Heat now have to play on Tuesday as opposed to Wednesday.
Amin Elhassan
They play at Charlotte. Charlotte's a fun team. Some people have pointed out, correctly that if San Antonio were to actually do what many people think Wemby pulling a surprise, that team hasn't existed in a really long time. That just blows through the playoffs without any real experience with their star being that age. Like, it's not. That's not a thing that. That happens very much in the sport. If, if you had to come up with the last time, I don't think it's ever happened. I. There, there is an example that's escaping me right now.
Zaz
You want to go with Magic there?
Amin Elhassan
Magic won as a rookie, but.
Charles
But they had a bunch of stars in that.
Zaz
Kareem.
Amin Elhassan
Yeah, yeah, it's. Yeah, it's. It's teams that are players that had been in the playoffs. The idea, though, that the. The spurs, the spurs, the way OKC looked against the spurs is something I haven't seen in three years. Like. Like nobody can do that to them. There's one person on earth, I'm assuming, with that team that can do that to okc. I'd like to see what OKC Boston looks like because I'd like to see Boston at its best playing against OKC's defense. But the way that San Antonio looked against OKC during the regular season was confusing to me because OKC had no shots in those games, and OKC always has a shot in all its games.
Charles
When we talk about the math of, like, all right, the spurs have dominated Oklahoma City, but then Denver kind of owns the Spurs. So, like, like, we're in this triangle of the Western Conference of, all right, the Nuggets wanted to lose to be the 4, 5 matchup. And now they're back playing the timberwolves in the first round. Anthony Edwards is getting healthy. Jaden McDaniels is back. That's going to be a tough game for them. But then they automatically have to go play the spurs in the next round. The spurs are looking at him like, damn, we probably should have beat them instead of losing to the Nuggets. When Nikola Jokic played 21 minutes and they played nobody on the team.
Amin Elhassan
It was crazy the things that happened yesterday. Have they lured you in, Mike? Have they lured you in with any of their playoff talk? As Amin tells you that we are flat petulant with our hyperbole. He is somebody who is perpetually defending his sport against attackers. He gets very possessive and sensitive.
Mike
Yeah, no, I think it's actually a fair criticism of him mean that he refuses to criticize the NBA. It seems lately the NBA needs its allies. But I think the store is not playing in games when you check in. I know I didn't say what Amin said. I said when it came to certain pitchers. But starting pitchers were at least playing. They were just being brought out of games early. Like if I, if I, if I was paying to see Ohtani on the mound, I still get to see Ohtani on the mound. So I, I don't think it's apples to apples.
Zaz
I think the correct analogy would have been if the NBA player who is resting instead played a half. Yeah, which that would be the correct analogy.
Mike
Which maybe that's a way to fix it. But I again, I hated that I got put in that light because I'm legit trying with the NBA. I've watched way too many Heat games. They're not fun to watch. But I've seen top line national games in the sport and on a recent run here of them being pretty good. So I'm jacked up about some of these storylines. I'm really excited for Hawks Knicks having seen that game recently. I want to see those two teams play in a seven game series. And like I said at the start of the show, I think Jokic and Wemby provided Anthony Edwards doesn't ruin the party. I think Jokic and Wemby can be a big time series for a sport that desperately needs a really good playoff. And despite the narrative leading into it, I do think the playoffs shape out really well for this sport and it'll be refreshing to see.
Amin Elhassan
Are you excited about Coachella? Is Coachella? Coachella on YouTube isn't quite the same thing as Coachella at Coachella, right?
Mike
Well, I've never been at Coachella. I had tickets to go one time to see Rage against the Machine and Covid happened and so I wasn't able to go. I exclusively watch this annually on YouTube, and I love it. It's something that I look forward to. It's a great production. The acts are top tier. But I don't know if you've seen what's happened with Justin Bieber. He did something unique with his set. He apparently got paid $10 million to headline Coachella week one and week two. And at one point, I was like, look, this is. I actually appreciate the swing that he's taking, because in the middle of his set, he basically just sat down at a computer and was, like, just going through YouTube. And it turned into a weird kind of karaoke session where he went way back into his catalog. And that was cool. It was very. I was watching. I'm like, man, Coachella should have done this when there was Covid, because it was basically like a throwback Covid broadcast. It was different, and I didn't mind it from streaming it at home. But, man, if you're. If you're live at Coachella, that's rough. Like, he's singing, like, from a computer and just kind of like half assing it, being chill. And there was one point, I'm like, oh, he's playing this Jack you song. There's gonna be a big drop. And no, he just stops it and goes to a guy saying, deez nuts. And so it was. It was strange. He was also watching some viral videos, but I did appreciate how it worked for streaming, but I felt bad for anybody that actually went there to go see it. But Jack White had an electric set. The nine Inch noise set was incredible.
Zaz
It's Nine Inch Nails.
Mike
No, Nine Inch Nails and Boys Noise combined. And Boys Noise took a whole new look at some of the songs in his catalog. And Trent Reznor sounded outrageously good. The visuals were really interesting. The 9 inch noise set was really, really good. I thought the XX also had a fantastic set. But I look forward to Coachella every year because I think it's a really well done streaming event, and it's a cultural moment in time every year.
Amin Elhassan
Zazzle wasn't listening to you because he was thinking about Wrestlemania. I could tell.
Zaz
WrestleMania.
Mike
You want to talk about a pop culture cornerstone that happens every year?
Zaz
Come on, Dan. WrestleMania week. That's right. This Saturday and Sunday nights one and two. Tonight, the final Raw before WrestleMania should be explosive. Dan, I'm very excited.
Amin Elhassan
Are you going?
Zaz
No, no, I'm not going. It's way too expensive. I can't go. Mike's not going. Mike goes every year, and he's not going.
Mike
I'm not going.
Zaz
Very surprised.
Mike
I was really upset. I was really upset when they announced that WrestleMania was going to New Orleans. I love New Orleans. That's a great WrestleMania city.
Zaz
Yeah.
Mike
And they ripped it away. Sucks to rehash what they did in Vegas last year. Back to back years in the same venue. And I'm so happy it's blown up in their face because the attendance numbers are bad. You got Pat McAfee hawking discounts on television while also taking a shit all over the match card trying to get people to spend money.
Zaz
That's how you get people to spend money, by saying it's bad. Right.
Mike
We can get into tomorrow the TKO handling of both the UFC property and the wwe now that we have a couple years worth of data, because it came out very hot out the gates. Wrestling was cool two years ago when the, when the Rock came back. No, it isn't. Except for us. We're the cool ones. We. We're the cool type of wrestling fans. But it's really cooled. It is. It is straight up bad.
Zaz
I'm excited. I'll be. I'm watching, but I'm excited.
Mike
It's gonna be bad.
Amin Elhassan
So you said, wait a minute. It's not cool. It's cooled. It has.
Mike
It is really cooled down.
Amin Elhassan
So it's not cool anymore. It has cooled.
Zaz
Like it's cold.
Amin Elhassan
Those are two different things.
Dan Le Batard
Cool.
This lively episode, broadcasting from the Elser Hotel in Downtown Miami, delivers the show's signature blend of sports, pop culture, and irreverent banter. The main theme is the ongoing NBA season, playoff chaos, and sports culture, layered with asides about viral moments, celebrity grifts, theater criticism (notably a full takedown of Neil Simon), WNBA trades, and major pop-culture events like Coachella and WrestleMania.
Amin Elhassan’s presence propels much of the episode’s sharper commentary, especially in the episode’s namesake segment, as he skewers revered entertainment figures. The show also highlights viral internet moments, offers pointed sports critiques, and maintains its tradition of ribbing among the cast.
"Change is hard, y’all. …It'll be bumpy. Buckle up for the real ones. …For all the rest of you, you know who you are.” – Doug Christie ([02:09])
“We conflate tanking with your team just sucks. …That fire was blazing long before.” – Amin ([03:27])
[04:01–07:52 & 28:51–30:22]
The crew discuss a viral couple at a Pacers game (“That’s you”), noting how the clip captured genuine affection and online positivity.
“Oh, it’s true love. The entire Internet just fell in love with this couple.” – Jeremy ([04:31])
Shaq’s on-air antics prompting a marriage proposal are debated. Amin brings up Shaq offering him $1,000 for a favor years ago but never paying:
“That dude still owes me a thousand dollars from a similar type situation.” – Dan ([07:21])
“Shaq is really generous with stuff like this... but he’s definitely not buying that ring.” – Zaz/Charles ([29:43])
[08:19–15:41]
Amin launches his “Weekend Observations” – a rapid rundown of NBA playoff scenarios, player gaffes (Deandre Ayton clueless about playoff seeding), Giannis’ press quips, and sports culture news.
“In my personal record book, Rory McIlroy did not win the Masters.” – Dan ([11:44])
“The Celtics are once again the favorites in the east... Miami Heat, 10 seed baby.” – Dan ([08:43])
Mocking the Masters’ insistence broadcasters not call fans “fans”:
“Is it true broadcasters are not allowed to call fans fans at the Masters? If so, get fo.” – Dan ([12:11])
“Neil Simon is a grifter and a fraud.” – Amin ([15:04])
Dan expands, explaining Simon’s Broadway rep and disappointing film adaptations, extending the fraud charge to Andrew Lloyd Webber:
“You ever watch Cats? …Now I’m not saying the movie. Have you watched Cats? The play? It’s truly dreadful.” – Dan & Jeremy ([18:56-19:06])
“Opera weird creepy stalker who lives in the rafters… That’s disgusting… Not an ally if you like that.” – Dan ([19:19])
“Watch how we embrace her… They love them someone famous… They’re going to support her and love her.” – Dan ([20:33])
[21:21–24:56]
Amin highlights Jazz Chisholm’s rules mistake, comparing it to infamous basketball blunders (J.R. Smith’s finals gaffe, Deandre Ayton’s cluelessness):
“For a guy of his stature, you cannot afford to be so flippant... You should not feel comfortable at all in your profession.” – Dan ([22:17])
Amin pushes back against “the league has become all about tanking” hyperbole, emphasizing the year’s major stories:
“We had the great start of the Spurs… the NBA cup... trades… aspiration.” – Dan ([24:16])
“Atlanta, yes, but they figured Orlando was going to be… That’s Boston, that’s the point they were thinking.” – Zaz ([31:20])
“Boston C team beats Orlando. Heat lost the Magic five times.” – Zaz ([32:57])
“Like nobody can do that to them… I’d like to see what OKC Boston looks like.” – Amin ([34:13])
“Coachella on YouTube isn’t quite the same as at Coachella, right?” – Amin ([36:40])
“I look forward to Coachella every year… it’s a cultural moment in time every year.” – Mike ([38:53])
“Wrestling was cool two years ago when the Rock came back. No, it isn’t. Except for us. We’re the cool ones.” – Mike ([39:51])
Dan on sports broadcasts:
“No one in the media will tell you what happened better than my voice.” ([08:26])
Amin on Neil Simon:
"Neil Simon is a grifter and a fraud." ([15:04])
On Giannis:
“Giannis in the next breath saying, don’t ask me, ask my wife. She wears the pants in the relationship. Go find her.” – Dan ([10:15])
On viral love and Shaq:
“That’s you. What the f are you talking about?” – Jeremy ([04:47])
“He’s on the hook for the ring. …They’re using this couple for 10 minutes on ESPN and they will never think of you again.” – Amin ([29:15])
As always, the show is a blend of sharp, absurdist humor and deeply informed sports commentary. The tone is conversational, frequently sarcastic or hyperbolic—never shying away from roasting sacred cows in sports or entertainment. Internal banter and running jokes are frequent, and pop culture asides give the episode a richly varied pace, ensuring even sports-averse listeners are entertained.
This episode is a quintessential showcase of the Le Batard show’s DNA—sports insight, viral moments, and flagrant irreverence for pop-culture royalty, anchored by one of NBA Twitter’s best panelists in Amin. Even if you missed it, the episode’s topics—from tanking in the NBA, to why Broadway legends may be overrated, to unexpected sports fan moments—are captured here in all their chaotic, enjoyable glory.