LIVE for Four Hours?! | Hour 3

Summary

The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz

Episode: LIVE for Four Hours?! | Hour 3

Date: June 1, 2026

Location: Elser Hotel, Downtown Miami

---

Episode Overview

In this lively third hour of their four-hour live broadcast, Dan Le Batard, Stugotz, and crew offer an offbeat tour through sports, pop culture, and personal oddities. With conversation ranging from the intricacies of NASCAR broadcasting to pizza box innovations and athlete identity crises, the show balances deep dives into recent sporting events with playful tangents, recurring inside jokes, and fresh commentary on media trends and social phenomena. This hour showcases the unpredictable, free-wheeling spirit that defines the Le Batard Show.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Going Live: Audience Confusion and Show Format

• The crew jokes about how they neglected to tell the audience they’d be live for all four hours, pondering whether anyone is actually watching (“Right now I'm on YouTube talking to nobody.” — Dan, 00:23).
• Stugotz jests that Dan's announcement made viewers leave, poking fun at their own impact (“There were 3,333 people here. You said that. And five people left.” — Jeremy, 00:54).
• The team is amused by the format change and its perceived effect on their loyal, if confused, audience.

---

2. Deep Dive: NASCAR’s Nashville Race, Amazon Prime Coverage, and Broadcasting Quality

• Obsessions & Surprises:
  • Dan expresses astonishment at Mike Ryan’s recent passion for racing.
  • Stugotz professes his deep love for NASCAR, celebrating Denny Hamlin’s thrilling victory in Nashville’s Cracker Barrel 400 (“Denny Hamlin goes from first to last to first. And this finish was an all timer...check this out.” — Stugotz, 01:50).
• Amazon Prime’s Excellence:
  • The crew hails Prime’s NASCAR coverage, noting how it avoids dumbing things down, offers quick access to driver comms, and elevates viewer experience far above traditional broadcasters (“Prime is head and shoulders above the rest...They go to comms immediately.” — Stugotz, 02:01).
• Race Recap:
  • Detailed play-by-play of the race’s dramatic final lap is shared, with three teammates vying for the win (03:29).
  • The panel debates the importance of team dynamics and celebrates the uniqueness of the Cracker Barrel 400’s electric guitar trophy.
• Audience Questions:
  • Polls suggested: “Do you like a guitar as a trophy?” “How do you feel about Cracker Barrel?”

---

3. Food Culture Sidebar: Cracker Barrel, Pizza Savers, and Inventions

• Cracker Barrel Tangent:
  • The group debates the appeal of Cracker Barrel’s rocking chairs and iconic triangle peg game, segueing into childhood lessons about not getting toys every time you eat out.
• Quiz Time:
  • Dan asks about the “little table” in pizza boxes—identified as the pizza saver.
    • “Do you believe the pizza saver is a hall of fame invention?” (Dan, 08:11)
    • Jeremy supplies its history: A 1974 Argentinian patent, later seen in the US (10:01).
  • The gang ranks its importance among classic inventions.
  • They argue if big chains or mom-and-pop pizzerias use the device and riff on DIY replacements, like a garlic cup or bread ball (10:49).
• Comedic Hero:
  • Dan imagines “Pizza Saver” as a superhero (“I am the Pizza Saver.” — Dan, 09:38).
    • “Are you thinking about throwing away that crust? How dare thee.” — Stugotz, 09:46

---

4. Bizarre Baseball Moments

• Jesus Sanchez Hit by a Ball:

  • The crew reviews a video where outfielder Jesus Sanchez is accidentally struck by a thrown ball from a 12-year-old, initially seen as an unfriendly act but later clarified as a playful mishap between player and young fan (15:45).
  • Discussion pivots to the reaction of both Sanchez and the child’s father.
    • “If you're the dad, like, you gotta turn to your kid like, get the hell out of here.” — John, 17:05
    • “I do believe there should be some dispensation...You don't throw a kid out when Sanchez baited him.” — Dan, 17:30

• Abner Uribe’s “Crotch Chop” Suspension:

  • Milwaukee reliever Abner Uribe gets suspended for a celebratory “triple pump” (18:25).
  • The group discusses if one crotch chop would be okay, referencing the Key & Peele skit.
    • “Would he have gotten suspended if it had only been one pump? Is it a key and peel situation...?” — Dan, 18:36
    • “One leads to an angry dugout, two leads to a fine, three leads to a suspension. That's my view.” — Jeremy, 19:20
  • They dissect the sensuality and casualness of the gesture, searching for the perfect descriptor (“It's not just suck it. It's suck it sensually...I'm bored having sex with you.” — Dan, 20:03).
  • Jeremy hits the right word: “Languorous. Suggesting a dreamy boredom and delicacy that avoids unnecessary activity.” (23:05)

---

5. Athlete Identity, Doubles Comeback & Performance Science

• Serena Williams’ Doubles Return:
  • Breaking news discussed: Serena Williams will come out of retirement to play doubles. The conversation weighs whether this signals a “soft launch” for a competitive return or a symbolic gesture (25:27).
  • “If she feels good out there, can she perhaps do the one thing that would somehow add to the legacy of the greatest tennis player ever?” — Stugotz, 25:33
• Aging, Identity, and Midlife Crisis:
  • The panel reflects on athletes losing identity in retirement and how hard it is to recapture the competitive thrill as you age (“I would imagine that Serena Williams has a hard time replacing what it was to be Serena Williams.” — Dan, 24:59).
• Peptides, Weight Loss Drugs, & Enhanced Games:
  • Dan notes Serena’s ads for weight loss injections, sparking debate on how quickly performance science outpaces anti-doping rules and personal anecdotes of trying peptides (“I tried it, and I feel totally different in a week.” — Dan, 28:18).
  • The team jokes about taking “everything”—NAD+, methylene blue, and more.
  • Stugotz brings up watching the Enhanced Games, a spectacle for performance-enhanced athletes (29:15).

---

6. Modern Sports Broadcasting & The Amazon Prime Effect

• Effortless Production:
  • Dan and Stugotz marvel at premium streaming services like Amazon Prime producing technically flawless live sports—unlike their own show’s struggles with dropped connections (“You are with everything you're consuming...We couldn't get through today's show without a means line dropping three times.” — Dan, 35:09).
  • They puzzle over the immense logistics and budgets of modern broadcasts compared to viewers’ underappreciation of this seamlessness.
    • “Broadcasting has never been better... We are living in a golden age. And they're only going to keep getting better because this is the learning stage.” — Dan, 34:06
  • Only Jake Paul’s Netflix fight is cited as a recent broadcast failure.

---

7. Inside Jokes, Relationship Bits, and Cuck Chair Saga

• The Ongoing Cuck Jokes:
  • John Zaslow recounts his wife's confusion over the show’s insider jokes, particularly those involving “the cuck chair” and “cuckception” (36:22).
  • Jeremy teases him: “Does she know that everyone knows you're a cuck?” (36:53)
  • Dan recommends Billy Corben’s Hulu documentary God Forbid about the Falwell family and “Miami pool boy” scandal, drawing parallels to the show's running cuck narrative (37:38).
• Absurdity Flourishes:
  • The hosts riff on holding back certain show segments from spouses, social media memes involving Zaslow, and the circular absurdity of their long-running jokes.

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Right now I'm on YouTube talking to nobody.” — Dan (00:23)
• “Denny Hamlin goes from first to last to first. And this finish was an all timer.” — Stugotz (01:50)
• “Prime is head and shoulders above the rest...They go to comms immediately.” — Stugotz (02:01)
• “Do you believe the pizza saver is a hall of fame invention?” — Dan (08:11)
• “I am the Pizza Saver.” — Dan (09:38)
• “If you're the dad, like, you gotta turn to your kid like, get the hell out of here.” — John (17:05)
• “Would [Uribe] have gotten suspended if it had only been one pump? Is it a key and peel situation?” — Dan (18:36)
• “Languorous. Suggesting a dreamy boredom and delicacy that avoids unnecessary activity.” — Jeremy (23:05)
• “I would imagine that Serena Williams has a hard time replacing what it was to be Serena Williams.” — Dan (24:59)
• “I tried [peptides], and I feel totally different in a week.” — Dan (28:18)
• “Broadcasting has never been better because all of these entities are competing and they all have money and they all want sport. We are living in a golden age.” — Dan (34:06)
• “Does she know that everyone knows you're a cuck?” — Jeremy (36:53)

---

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Live Audience Confusion & Format Change: 00:23-01:16
• NASCAR, Prime, and Race Recap: 01:25-05:20
• Cracker Barrel & Pizza Saver Invention: 05:54-11:30
• Baseball Mishap (Sanchez and the Kid): 15:45-17:55
• Abner Uribe Suspension & Sensual Suck It Debate: 18:25-23:16
• Serena Williams Comeback, Athlete Identity: 24:59–26:52
• Peptides & Enhanced Games: 27:40–29:18
• Amazon’s Broadcasting Dominance: 29:42–35:09
• Cuck Chair Running Gags: 36:22–37:38
• Billy Corben’s ‘God Forbid’ Documentary Plug: 37:38-38:11

---

Tone & Language

The hour is packed with the show’s signature wit, irreverence, self-awareness, and layered inside jokes—equal parts insightful and absurd. The banter seamlessly blends serious sports criticism with playful mockery, making expertise both accessible and entertaining.

---

Summary

This hour is a microcosm of the Le Batard brand: unscripted, sharp, full of tangents, and unafraid to mine humor from cultural ephemera or personal quirks. Whether dissecting the technical mastery of Amazon’s sports broadcasts, marveling at small inventions, or leaning into an ongoing “cuck” bit, the crew delivers a dense, engaging tapestry that delights loyal listeners and leaves newcomers laughing and occasionally bewildered.

Transcript

[Dan LeBatard]

Choice hotels get you more of what you value. Comfort Inn. It's calling your name. Save on the stain. Oh, and free waffles are yours to claim.

[John Zaslow]

Book [e-mail] this is the Dunn Levator

[Stugats]

show with the Stugats podcast.

[Dan LeBatard]

So this is funny. What just happened and what I'm imagining happened nationally. I don't think we told anybody that we were staying live all four hours. So I imagine the people who usually leave at about 11 o' clock Eastern just left. And right now I'm on YouTube talking to nobody. I believe we didn't inform anybody that this week we are doing live the entire show. We are not doing anything that is taped, edited and thrown into the feed. Is there any particular.

[Stugats]

You actually just lost viewers.

[Jeremy]

There were 3,333 people here. You said that. And five people left.

[Dan LeBatard]

Oh, I'm just surprised that anyone's still there. Why would they be there? We're always done. Do we tell anybody?

[Stugats]

Stands the reason if they were hanging around, they might be excited. They've been waiting. More people just left years for this day.

[Tony]

I did whisper in their ear right when we finished the last segment. I was like, hey guys, we're staying up.

[Dan LeBatard]

We'll be right back. Joe Central.

[Tony]

That's how I said Sleepy Joe. It was a little scran. Hey guys, we'll be right back. Scranton.

[Dan LeBatard]

Mike Ryan was up at one o' clock in the morning watching racing. I don't know if there's been anything more surprising around here in the last five years than Mike Ryan becoming obsessed with racing.

[Stugats]

No one loves America more than me. Very few people love NASCAR more than me. By the way, happy birthday to my dear friend Antonies.

[Guest 1]

Oh, what a rally, man.

[Stugats]

Oh, buddy, we love you. See you, Rossi. Yeah, Dan. The race last night in Nashville was incredible. And the reason why it was incredible was an all time finish. And we'll get into that in a moment. Denny Hamlin, an all time performance from the man. And we have to keep in mind this was on Amazon Prime. All right, so the way that NASCAR does their production is it's kind of like the ufc. It's all done in house. Very little things differentiate the broadcasters from one another and they all take portions of the season. It doesn't alternate during like week to week. All right, so Fox gets its chunk and prime gets its chunk. Dan prime is head and shoulders above the rest. This is. It doesn't treat you like an idiot. They go in depth. I am learning so much from this. They go to comms Immediately. So if there's a wreck, you're right to Brad Keselowski saying, that guy tried to hit me. It was tremendous. It's really elevated. Prime does a tremendous job with their coverage but cool thing about this race was it's actually if it was on another broadcast partner it might have been a tough watch because there were a million restarts. You'd go to caution and then one lap or two laps in there'd be another wreck. And you're like, man, is this race going to end today? Is this. It's going to be 2am and I'll be watching left turns. But the coverage was great. Anyways, we had a clean finish here and I want to show you this. Denny Hamlin won the pole. He was sitting up top. But he got up to a foul when the race started. So that's a violation. He got sent to the back of the pack. Denny Hamlin goes from first to last to first. And this finish was an all timer. You have three teammates going three wide in this very final lap. All for Joe Gibbs Racing. Check this out.

[Guest 1]

One lap to go. Sponsored by Credit one Bank. Who's it going to be? Hamlin, Bell and Briscoe. They're all there. Three wide to turn one. This is incredible. Bell shoots to the lead. That's going to take the line away from the 19 and he's going to clear into the lead. Denny Hamlin chases inside after Bell and squirted out front. Hamlin in charge. One last run for Bell in the outside lane. Can he get there? He cannot thinks about a crossover. It won't happen. Denny Hamlin, big time victory in Nashville.

[Tony]

How about it?

[Stugats]

Oh, and there was a big wreck across the finish line. Tyler Redick involved. Denny Hamlin wins one of the coolest trophies in sports.

[Dan LeBatard]

How happy were you?

[Stugats]

I was so pumped because that was an investment on my time that I put in there. And I was rooting for Denny. I've turned into a Denny Hamlin guy because of his story and his hard luck and he's been struggling with restarts all season long. And to nail this restart, it's kind of poetic, especially against a guy who had the best car and Christopher Bell. Here's Denny Hamlin with The Nashville Cracker Barrel 400 trophy, which is just an electric guitar. How badass is that? One of the great races, one of the greatest finishes. And it was just unbelievable for the race fans who stayed up, which I'm not sure who those people are because the, the, the, the audience, the target demo for nascar. It's an older audience and I'm not sure how many people are staying up till 12:30am Eastern Time to watch their NASCAR, but I was one of the lucky few.

[John Zaslow]

So those three cars that were were in it till the very end. Their teammates.

[Stugats]

They're all teammates. They all race for Joe Gibbs Racing.

[John Zaslow]

So how do they decide who's going to win?

[Stugats]

What is that? That's best car wins. Shake and bake. Yeah.

[John Zaslow]

Yeah.

[Stugats]

That's best car wins.

[John Zaslow]

They don't get mad at each other?

[Stugats]

No, no, no. They don't. Like. They all had good cars. In fact, Christopher Bell had probably had a better car.

[Tony]

I like that you win every time. I'm fine with second.

[Stugats]

Well, the guy that is actually probably outside of Denny that's had the most consistent season who was not featured in that finish was Ty Gibbs, the grandson of Joe Gibbs, a legendary Washington football team slash commander slash, you know, the R's. We can.

[John Zaslow]

That wasn't their name when he was coach.

[Dan LeBatard]

Your John C. Reilly impersonation is better than your Joe Biden imp. Put it on the poll at LeBatard show. Do you like a guitar as a trophy. And also, speaking of The Cracker Barrel 400, how do you guys feel about the Cracker Barrel? I like Cracker Barrel.

[Guest 2]

Love Cracker Barrel.

[Tony]

Underrated breakfast.

[Stugats]

I've come around. It's been a tumultuous year.

[Tony]

I don't really do the rocking chairs. People oversell those things.

[Guest 2]

Rocking chairs are nice.

[Tony]

The food is nice.

[John Zaslow]

Not trying to hit up that store every time, you know, but yeah, they

[Guest 2]

make you walk through it, though.

[Stugats]

They're trying to kill our culture.

[Dan LeBatard]

It's quite the trick. It's like Vegas casinos and hotels where they make you walk through.

[Stugats]

Look at all this stuff. You know, they considered a Filipino, by the way. Happy June. I like let's all get through this month together.

[Tony]

I like bringing my daughter there because it's a good. It's a good lesson for. No, you're gonna get some. No, today we're walking in this store and you get nothing.

[Guest 2]

You know what?

[Tony]

You get a breakfast. Okay? It's not just like, oh, I get a toy now after breakfast. No, you're gonna walk through this store because you're gonna learn in life. I thought it was.

[Stugats]

Yes, I think I understand that game that they have at the tables, but can you go ahead and explain?

[Tony]

Oh, do I love that game, the T game. Little triangle. You gotta hop over. The goal is to land with one left.

[Dan LeBatard]

What is the name of that game? I've Got a couple of questions for you guys because I Oriental checkers.

[Stugats]

We can say that, right?

[Guest 2]

It's a play on for me.

[Stugats]

Another football team. Clayton Orient guys. The Kings.

[Dan LeBatard]

It's a triangle and it is. What is it? Nine pegs, 12 pegs, something like that.

[Tony]

The iconic cracker barrel tea game like zero parenthetically called triangle peg solitaire.

[Stugats]

Arg. What's with this show today?

[Dan LeBatard]

Put it on the poll. Do you know what triangle peg solitaire is? Because there's no way that people know that that's what the name of that is. But the thing that I was thinking about this weekend is I couldn't think of what the name is for the little device that they put in a pizza box to make sure that the cheese in being sent the tiny table of the box. Yes. I didn't. I didn't know what that was called. And B I wanted to ask you guys if you thought that was a hall of fame invention.

[Tony]

The.

[Dan LeBatard]

Because I don't know when that started but that was not something that was around. When I was in college I would always get pizza that would have cheese on the top of the box because I did not know how to do this table thing. Is that what it's called? Tony?

[Guest 2]

Did you know I just made that up.

[John Zaslow]

It's called a pizza saver. Dan.

[Dan LeBatard]

Tiny table pizza saver. So do you believe the pizza saver is a hall of fame invention? Do you believe that you would put it in the class? It's pretty good of a hall of fame invention.

[Stugats]

More of a wheel and electricity and Internet guy. I wouldn't put it in the hall of fame.

[Tony]

Just I would go with the actual table before the pizza table.

[Stugats]

I would go with actual pizza.

[Dan LeBatard]

Everybody likes pizza. Every put it on the poll at Lebaton show. Does everyone like pizza? And also put on the poll is the pizza savored table. I don't think people are going to get the question if I don't name this right.

[Stugats]

Man.

[Tony]

I'm behind air fryer to Dan's point. I had a Taco bell Mexican pizza ruined by the box going down on it that the taco bell Mexican pizza needs the little table.

[John Zaslow]

It depends what pizza you're ordering.

[Stugats]

All of very good. Perhaps

[Dan LeBatard]

Jeremy, can you please see if you can find out when that thing was invented and what it is actually called because I Pizza saver.

[Guest 2]

It's a tiny table.

[Dan LeBatard]

But I don't. I don't feel like anyone if I say to anybody if I look you tell me if I'm wrong. Zaslo Because I can't believe that I would be wrong about this if I were talking to any or anything else for that matter, human being in the world. And I just said the Pizza Saver. Do you know what that is? I don't think anyone's going to the table that keeps the cheese off the top of the box when it's being done.

[Tony]

What a superhero that would be though.

[Dan LeBatard]

That is a great superhero. That is that, that's what I would be as a superhero in the tights bulging out of all the wrong places. I am the Pizza Saver.

[Stugats]

Are you thinking about throwing away that crust? How dare thee.

[Dan LeBatard]

Don't throw that away. I can help you with that. I will eat it. I'm Pizza Sa.

[Jeremy]

In 1974, Claudio Daniel Troglia of Buenos Aires, Argentina was issued a patent plastic three legged stool that would sit in the middle of a pizza box and keep the top from sagging into pizza. Which he called sepi after separator de pizza.

[Stugats]

I really thought that you were going to tell me his name was Joey pizza saver.

[Jeremy]

In 1985, Carmela Vitale of Dix Hills, New York was issued a patent for a similar device. She called it a package saver but it's since been renamed to Pizza Saver.

[Dan LeBatard]

So this was invented in 75, 74. Well, but you feel like you've been getting these things all your life. Because I feel like the Pizza Saver is something that I've only discovered in the last 10 years. That's not something that always came with my pizza.

[John Zaslow]

It's not.

[Dan LeBatard]

I don't remember in college getting any pizza that had that on it. My college pizza always had the cheese on the top of the box. Cuz nobody had invented, nobody in Argentina had invented this thing yet.

[Guest 2]

They hadn't sent it over to Coconut Grove. The issue is that big store chains usually don't throw it in there. Mom and Pop places usually put it in there to save because they, they care more about quality.

[John Zaslow]

See, I disagree because the mom and Pop place, they're usually like the New York style, like the really good, like the thinner crust pizzas. And you don't need that when you're delivering in the box. When you, you get like Pizza Hut or Papa John's or Domino's, those are thicker and there's a better chance of the cheese getting stuck to the top. And you do get.

[Guest 2]

But I've never seen them on there. You know, I ordered from those places. I don't see it.

[John Zaslow]

I ordered yesterday from one of those Papa John's. And it was a pizza saver.

[Tony]

Yeah. They have the pizza saver. Or do they use that little garlic cup as their pizza saver?

[Dan LeBatard]

That's cheating. But also saving the money.

[Stugats]

How does that stay in place?

[John Zaslow]

You think there's a garlic cup that just sits in the middle of the pizza?

[Tony]

I'm just thinking anywhere, you know, I'm

[Stugats]

just trying to spitball. All right, well, you really bailed.

[Tony]

A little two bird situation. Kill two birds. I want this garlic sauce in here. And look, it can put in the middle.

[Jeremy]

It's a good point, actually, because some pizzerias, according to the origins here on Wikipedia, some pizzerias have eliminated the use of this plastic pizza saver by returning to the old method of simply baking a bread ball into the center of their pizzas to hold it up.

[Tony]

Wow.

[Stugats]

Yeah. It sounds like pizza saver ran into capitalism's cost saver. Tony, you know that moment at a party or at a tailgate where everything just sort of clicks?

[Guest 2]

I know it well. It's usually when I show up, everybody goes crazy.

[Stugats]

Yeah. You usually take all the credit for it, but it's because Tony usually walks in with Cuervo. Walk in like this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cuervo is a thing that turns hanging out into this is the night.

[Guest 2]

It has that effect on people.

[Stugats]

It does. You usually take the credit for it, but again, it's the Cuervo effect. It's like that moment in a big game where everyone in the crowd just starts standing up, hooting and hollering. Keep it Cuervo.

[Guest 2]

Keep it Cuervo, baby.

[Stugats]

Howdy, listeners. We're in that part of the sports calendar where you got multiple big games going on simultaneously and you gotta decide either to make the investment in multiple screens or to prioritize one thing. And one thing I always prioritize when I'm watching a game is Miller Lite. That's right. Miller Lite can make your time spent watching these games with a buddy or pal even better. That moment where the game tips off, the NBA playoffs are rocking. You toast that white can and you think immediately after that first sip, you made the right call. That that is the glory of Miller Lite. I reach for it every time. It's clean, refreshing, easy to drink, brewed for taste, with simple ingredients, just 96 calories and 3.2 carbs. The original light beer since 1975. And it still hits different cheers to legendary moments with Miller Lite. Great taste, 96 calories. Go to millerlight.com dan to find delivery options near you. Or you can pick up some Miller Lite pretty much anywhere they sell beer. It's Miller time. Celebrate responsibly. Miller Brewing Co. Milwaukee, Wisconsin. 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces. Don LeBatard.

[John Zaslow]

I've never stepped foot on that campus.

[Dan LeBatard]

I.

[John Zaslow]

If you told me right now, your life depends on it. Go to Santa Fe University and just, just, just take a picture.

[Stugats]

Stugats.

[Dan LeBatard]

I would die.

[John Zaslow]

I don't know where it is.

[Stugats]

This is the Dan Levatar show with the Stugach.

[John Zaslow]

I want to go back to what Chris was alleging. You think that there is a. The cup of the garlic sauce or the tomato.

[Tony]

Know about that garlic sauce that.

[John Zaslow]

Of course I do, but that's not. We're talking about right here. And you think that they put that on top of the cheese.

[Tony]

I'm just, you know, thinking out loud.

[Dan LeBatard]

I think that you really fell apart on interrogation because you've gone now to I was just spitballing and I was just thinking out loud. You have no conviction in your point. It's falling apart under the merciless cross examination of Low who thinks you're a fool. You feel it and you're like Chet Holmgren last night or Saturday, where you're like, just scared in the face of a real pizza expert.

[Tony]

Not so sure.

[Dan LeBatard]

You look like a pizza expert, just like Chet Holmgren looks like an NBA basketball player. But in the face of the wemby of pizza, you are folding under cross examination.

[John Zaslow]

So if I ask for multiple, you know, boxes of the garlic sauce, they're just, they're plopped on top of my cheese pizza. That's what you're saying.

[Tony]

I was thinking if they're on the outskirts of the pizza, they could still do some work to support the box is all.

[Dan LeBatard]

I was. But you don't believe in your point. You're just. Your body's gone to hell. Like, you're not. You don't feel confident in your. More. Once you've gone, I'm just spitballing. I'm just spitballing here. And then you fall out of the screen because that's the other thing you did. You're. You're in front of the camera. Yeah. You were. As if hiding from what remains of our audience that we didn't tell we'd be online.

[Tony]

I'm not above being wrong. If I was wrong about it, then I want to know it.

[John Zaslow]

Do you think if I order garlic knots, do they then just throw the garlic knots on top of the pizza to prevent the lid from smashing down.

[Tony]

Do not.

[John Zaslow]

Okay.

[Tony]

Garlic knots.

[Dan LeBatard]

What happened to Jesus Sanchez? Was this in Toronto? That this happened to him where he's hit by a baseball, thrown by a fan. And let's see this video here. It was not in Toronto.

[Tony]

Yeah, this is in Baltimore, I believe. And this, this is an incident, an incident where you start off very angry. You're like, who, who, who would throw something at a player? He's in right field and a ball all of a sudden gets thrown and he gets hit in the hand and he has to leave the game. So you're thinking when you see this story, what the heck is happening in Baltimore? And then you learn afterwards from the manager that he was having a nice exchange with a 12 year old kid. And then the kid, miscommunic, there was a miscommunication and the kid, when he looked away, threw a ball. So they weren't mad at the kid. It was just a miscommunication. Apparently the kid did get thrown out because you can't be throwing balls regardless of whether you're having a back and forth. So it's just a kind of interesting story that you never see. Baseball gives you these things. Other sports, I feel like we've seen it all. Baseball, you get shit you never see.

[Dan LeBatard]

This would have never happened to that woman who was ticketed by the West Palm beach police officer.

[Guest 2]

It's got to be a lefty.

[Stugats]

Yeah.

[Guest 2]

Don't forget about Jim Abbott.

[Jeremy]

It's also pretty amazing throw by that kid, huh? Tremendous accuracy from the 12 year old

[Stugats]

Henry Rowan Gardner situation.

[Dan LeBatard]

Yeah, get me that.

[Stugats]

Call that kid up.

[Tony]

Also annoying how good Jesus Sancho Sanchez is now that he's not a marlin.

[Stugats]

Nah, you're right.

[John Zaslow]

Acting if, if you're the dad of the 12 year old kid, you're seeing it happen right in front of you. Your kid, he thinks that Jesus Sanchez wants to play catch. The kid throws it, it hits him. You immediately see that Jesus Sanchez is uncomfortable, he might be hurt. If you're the dad, like, you gotta turn to your kid like, get the hell out of here.

[Dan LeBatard]

Run.

[John Zaslow]

Right, Right.

[Dan LeBatard]

You've injured Toronto's outfielder, you've hit him in the hand.

[Stugats]

Run.

[Dan LeBatard]

He's writhing in the outfield. And yeah, I think, I think in that instance you do have to run before security comes and gets you. But I do believe there should be some dispensation, there should be some kindness about the fact that Jesus Sanchez was trying to play catch with the kids. You don't, you don't throw a kid out when Sanchez baited him.

[Tony]

Hey, kid, we were playing catch starts. It's time to start the game now. I'm kind of with the team here. This kid needs to be punished.

[Dan LeBatard]

Well, he was punished for just tossing a ball to an outfielder who, well, couldn't have asked him to toss the ball because he wasn't in any way expecting the ball. Regardless, when you think of Marlins outfielders, that's not what I do. I say, wow, that five years with Stanton, Yelich, and Ozuna would have been pretty good. That five year period where all of them were doing special things, that would have been a good outfield to have down here for a while.

[Tony]

If the MLB approves their new salary cap thing, the Marlins will just have to add 92 million to their payroll to meet the floor. That'll be fun.

[Stugats]

Saw Abner got suspended for his revolting display.

[Dan LeBatard]

How long did he get suspended for? Three pumps against the dugout of the St Louis Cardinals.

[Stugats]

A game.

[Dan LeBatard]

A game. We were talking. For those of you who do not know what we were talking about, Abner Uribe, a reliever for the Milwaukee brewers, struck somebody out and then did three pumps to the dugout. Would he have gotten suspended if it had only been one pump? Is it a key and peel situation of one pump, two pump, three pumps? If it had just been a single pump, that he had just done the X, the suck it X one time, do you believe that? Comes across Manfred's desk and he's like, you know what? I'm okay with one pump. Two pump is a bridge to suck

[Guest 2]

it X on the third.

[John Zaslow]

As silly as it sounds, I think one suck it crotch chop is not getting a suspension.

[Jeremy]

One leads to an angry dugout, two leads to a fine, three leads to a suspension. That's my view.

[John Zaslow]

I mean, I know it's the key and Peele skit, but I think there's something to it. I don't think one crotch chop is getting you suspended.

[Guest 2]

He only had 1x though, right?

[Dan LeBatard]

No, he had 3x. I thought he.

[Tony]

By my math, I thought he did 1 and now 2. By my math, the first one was not an X. The final two were, if I remember

[Stugats]

it well, we're gonna.

[Dan LeBatard]

We're gonna count X's now. Here. Suck it X's right now. Here he goes. Break it down so good. Here we go.

[Tony]

An X. Now he X's now that the other one.

[Stugats]

If you breaks his hands, the camera cut away because of how lewd and disgusting that act was.

[Tony]

First one was not an X. That's all I know.

[John Zaslow]

And then this. This.

[Dan LeBatard]

I mean, that is three, though you

[Tony]

might not know he's saying suck it.

[Dan LeBatard]

Well, but that's three sockets. Like, that's.

[Stugats]

No.

[Guest 2]

Yes, three. I think he takes his arms apart, the last one. So it was only 1x.

[Tony]

I think we only get 1x. I'm with Tony here.

[Dan LeBatard]

Jeremy, would you do me the favor, please, of looking up the word languid? Because the way he's doing this. Put this in the picture. In picture. This isn't just suck it. It's suck it sensually. Like, it's. It's. It's grooving. I'm looking for a word. I don't think it's languid, but there's a word I'm looking for. Because the casual. The nature of this is, I'm bored having sex with you. I'm bored by it drooping or flagging from.

[Jeremy]

Or as if from exhaustion.

[Tony]

Find a better word.

[Dan LeBatard]

I think it's okay. Help me. I'd like some.

[Stugats]

Sure, you got it. In Spanish, it's toma.

[Tony]

Help me.

[Dan LeBatard]

Well, yes, in Spanish, but you're saying it in a way that's aggressive and literally translated is drink it. But I'm looking for something more casual. I'm looking for something like, he seems a bit bored by how easy it is to both strike you out and do three pumps at your dugout. He's so good that it bores him to do this to you. It's not. He's. There's not a lot of effort being poured into what it is that he's doing.

[John Zaslow]

I'm embarrassed for the Cardinals that they allowed him to do three suck it crotch chops and did nothing about it.

[Dan LeBatard]

I'm remiss in not mentioning that just recently or a couple of minutes ago, Serena Williams came out of retirement.

[Stugats]

Oh, doubles.

[Dan LeBatard]

Should have probably mentioned it's still coming out of retirement there.

[Stugats]

Doubles, that is. It's also still doubles.

[Tony]

Is that as big as Brock Lesnar returning this past week?

[Stugats]

I felt like a fool. They fooled me. They tricked me.

[Tony]

Don't do the shoes in the ring thing if you're going to come back.

[Stugats]

They tricked me.

[Dan LeBatard]

You guys.

[Tony]

You guys said how important.

[Dan LeBatard]

They tricked me. You guys. You and Zaslow.

[Stugats]

Hey, I'm not proud of it. 40.

[Dan LeBatard]

You. They.

[Guest 1]

They.

[Stugats]

They tricked us.

[Dan LeBatard]

You and those liars. You guys came on here and said after Wrestlemania that you were moved by the fact that Brock Lesnar lost and then sat. Not sat, knelt in the middle of the ring and placed his shoes on the middle of the mat, the shoe thing.

[Stugats]

He was emotional. He said goodbye.

[Dan LeBatard]

You guys said that that was him retiring. Great career. Way to go, Brock. And seven minutes later, he's back. Before he gets to the locker room, he's decided, yeah, that was all for show that none of that was real.

[Stugats]

They tricked us.

[John Zaslow]

I'm 45 years old. Wrestling tricked me.

[Stugats]

I never trick us like that.

[Tony]

I am curious though, was this a legit thing that they pivoted on or do you think this was part of the plan the entire time?

[John Zaslow]

Great question. My 14 year old son asked me a couple days ago because Brock. Yesterday. Brock Lesnar fought yesterday. He won, by the way. Oh, he took down Obafemi. Anyway, my son asked me yesterday, do you think this was always the plan or did they just offer Brock a lot of money? Because Brock loves Brock and wives. Same love. All right. Did Brock come back for the money?

[Jeremy]

Languorous. Suggesting a dreamy boredom and delicacy that avoids unnecessary activity.

[Dan LeBatard]

That's a good word. That's a better word than language.

[Jeremy]

Languorous.

[Dan LeBatard]

It's not better than Thoma.

[Stugats]

No, thank you.

[Jeremy]

Lackadaisical.

[Stugats]

They tricked us. And he looked great.

[John Zaslow]

Fooled me.

[Jeremy]

He looks so listless even.

[John Zaslow]

Yeah, I like Brock.

[Dan LeBatard]

Is Serena Williams coming out of retirement to play doubles with her sister or play doubles with. Is like it is. Is it an emotional thing? Is it a symbolic thing? Because obviously if it's doubles, nobody's going to care. If she was doing singles, it would be different. But she's not gonna get much of her competitive whatever she misses competitively from being the best in the world. I don't know that she's going to get much of it from doubles. I wonder if there's an explanation since this just happened that we can go to that would help us understand why she's doing this. Something I always find interesting. Says, and given that you guys just said, we're in our 40s, most athletes end up losing their identity, the whole thing that they are by the time that they're 40 and there is no replacing it. It's not just the structure and the discipline of how it is you lived your life. Because I did marvel at the fact that Serena played as long as she did because that sport is lonely. It's exhausting. It's kind of boring when you're not playing that you have to practice that much on the sculpting of sort of some singular things. And so I figured that anyone who left tennis would want basically nothing to do with tennis. But you Never replace the competitive thing that made you great. There's no place to put it as you age. And so in some places, I think it's harder for athletes to hit what is the midlife crisis, because it's technically the end of life crisis on what their identity has been. You can't pour that much of yourself into something and have it not be a lopsided form of who it is you are. So we're still working in our 40s. All of us are still doing the thing that we like. But when you're an athlete, you're lucky if you even get to 40, obviously. So I would imagine that Serena Williams has a hard time replacing what it was to be Serena Williams.

[Stugats]

She's going to be playing with Victoria Mboko, who's a real up and coming tennis sensation. I think the thinking here is from a lot in the tennis community is, is this the start of something? Does she go back to doubles, realizes that her body feels good because it might be a soft launch? She's gone through the drug testing process for six months. How does the body feel doing this? How do you feel when the ball comes your way? And doubles, it's far less physically demanding. But if she feels good out there, can she perhaps do the one thing that would somehow add to the legacy of the greatest tennis player ever?

[Guest 1]

Don LeBatard, John Zaslow, how you love all that catchphrase bad news for opposing teams in the Triple A Stugats these all smiles till LeBron's eye. Clutch again. Clutch again. Clutch again.

[Stugats]

This is the Dan Levatar show with the st.

[John Zaslow]

She's a lot smaller than she was back when she was playing full time.

[Dan LeBatard]

Well, she's also doing advertising. And I wanted to ask you guys about this because it's not a conversation that I see happening anywhere, and I think it's probably something that should be happening somewhere. She's doing commercials, okay, for weight loss injections, which are very vogue right now. And I wonder when sports is going to catch up to some of that stuff and peptides as performance enhancers. Like, I think that this stuff has flourished so quickly and has so many unknowns on it that I think sports might have to do something about peptides and some other things that are science, that are science, outpacing what has been historically, you know, banned substances, according to this very moment.

[Guest 2]

The World Anti Doping agency has monitored GLP1s. They are not prohibited at this very time.

[Dan LeBatard]

No, I know they're not now, but what I'm saying is they weren't around when all of these rules were being made. And science, I think has. Look, I didn't think any of us would live at a time that you could actually cheat your way to appetite suppression. Like, I wasn't aware that that was so. But I also don't know what other things these, these things do. And the reason that I mention it is because literally a week ago my doctor suggested peptides to me. Literally one week ago. Yeah.

[Stugats]

No.

[Dan LeBatard]

And so I tried it and I feel totally different in a week. Like in one week I have done one injection. Yeah, I feel a lot better.

[Stugats]

Are you doing the injections?

[Guest 2]

BPC157.

[Stugats]

That's a way to get them to work.

[Dan LeBatard]

I mean, Wolverine, stack. It's just. I don't even know what peptides are. But it is evidently something that's beyond whatever Ozempic or Manjarno is doing.

[Guest 2]

Well, those are GLP1s. Those are a different story and different class of things.

[Stugats]

That's right. Drink it in. This is me feeling amazing.

[Dan LeBatard]

I feel 20 years younger. No, but it's a. It's an appreciable difference though. It, it. It just feels like.

[Stugats]

You know about that N80 plus.

[Dan LeBatard]

I do.

[Guest 2]

N80 plus.

[Jeremy]

Good stuff.

[Guest 2]

Methylene blue.

[Dan LeBatard]

No, get on that.

[Guest 2]

Methylene red.

[John Zaslow]

You should take them all.

[Stugats]

Have you been watching the enhanced games?

[Dan LeBatard]

That's what McAfee says. McAfee says I've got so much stuff coursing through me, like at all times.

[Stugats]

Yeah, looks like it. He's alluding to a lot there. The Enhanced games, I gave it a try. I was blown away by how good the production was. This could not have been a good spend for whoever was behind it. There's no way they were recouping this.

[Dan LeBatard]

You mentioned earlier the cracker barrel 400 and what a good job that prime did on it. Are you guys. I know I've mentioned this a couple of times to you, but I'm genuinely curious. The fact that Amazon prime has gotten into the broadcasting game and earlier today you guys saw that. We've been doing this a while. We couldn't get a means connection. Right. The fact that prime is doing these things this well and making it look so easy that no one's noticing that the new people that have come to this coverage are. Are learning how to do it because you're not seeing any of the mistakes. Okay.

[Stugats]

I want you to watch this video.

[Dan LeBatard]

No, this is ridiculous.

[Stugats]

No, this is.

[Tony]

I wanted to save this for my dad.

[Stugats]

Yeah, we want to. We wanted to see if we could trick Your dad. This is. Guys, this is a real clip from the enhanced game. This is competitive swimmer in the. This guy's name is jacked up.

[Dan LeBatard]

Well, that's a new record.

[Stugats]

Do you think we could have tricked

[Tony]

Craig Cody for the audio audience?

[Dan LeBatard]

Yes, for the audio audience. There's a guy who's 300 pounds and 4% body fat. He's on a dive board about to jump into the pool, and instead when he jumps, he goes right over the pool and into a nearby wall.

[Guest 2]

Breaks through.

[Dan LeBatard]

You guys aren't surprised that there aren't any glitches with the amount of money that is being thrown at these giant broadcasts, because it's not that easy to do these things. Technical difficulties. It really isn't end well.

[Stugats]

The technical difficulties came with a rocket launch for Jeff Bezos. But tv, that seems to be going a little bit smoother. And that's where the money really, really, really, really helps.

[Dan LeBatard]

The money of Amazon, obviously, is a lunacy. I actually. I don't think many people understand, but I don't understand how prime has cornered basically commerce. And so when you've cornered all of commerce, when you're someone who can knock out, you have to go somewhere to shop for things because of how much we've gotten addicted to convenience. The amount of money in inventing the speedy commerce makes it so that Bezos can buy whole foods easily and can get into the broadcasting game and can have just an assortment of content in a library that has, you know, what seems like billions. It has to be billions of dollars being spent on what it is that they're doing. And in sports, they're doing it without a glitch. I thought there had to be a hiccup. Like, I don't think that Americans are so spoiled with the amount of money that we have that we shouldn't be at least noticing that they have changed the way that everyone broadcasts to us without a hiccup.

[Stugats]

I am stunned at how well their NASCAR coverage goes because NASCAR is a very difficult production. There's a million things going on. You have access to countless comms. You have to have people across everything. And the fan base in NASCAR would be pretty apprehensive about a tech giant coming over to nascar. And it is crazy how much better they are than everybody else.

[Dan LeBatard]

We're in for a really fun time in sports because what you want is the best who have money competing against each other to grab the customers and do better than everyone else is doing at the spending of money and the return on that investment. But the idea Zaslow, that you can just click on your app now and get coverage that's better than any coverage that you're used to getting from a retailer. From. If I tell the audience here before the recent Colbert stuff, if I had asked you guys, how many people does a late night show employees, would you guys have guessed? 150. Would you guys have thought that a late night television show requires 150 people? No, I think most people would think it's less than that and that some of this stuff is easier because of how easy it's made to look. These broadcasts require hundreds of people to mobilize wherever it is that they're broadcasting from at 12:30 in the morning. The Nashville at the Cracker Barrel. And no one can make a mistake that interferes with the broadcast. Like, we have not gotten one glitch. That's embarrassing. From Peacock, from Netflix, from Prime. We haven't gotten one thing where people are saying, ah, that's garbage. That, oh, I see how they're learning there. I just don't know how it is that you make it this seamless. And I can't imagine the money and people involved in making it that seamless. Because broadcasting has never been better because all of these entities are competing and they all have money and they all want sport. We are living in a golden age. And they're only going to keep getting better because this is the learning stage. Like, they're just figuring out how to do all of this stuff. And I don't know how they're doing it. I would think that somewhere somebody would have an embarrassment. I would think that somewhere Jake Paul is doing a Netflix thing and something goes wrong and everyone can laugh at Jake Paul, but it never happened.

[John Zaslow]

Well, no, that was actually seemingly the only time it's happened was when he fought Mike Tyson. That was a disaster on Netflix, you know, streaming wise. And that was apparently the only time. It's been a problem every time since you have any of these sporting events that are streaming. All right, you had the Jake Paul thing, and nope, we've all learned since then. It's all perfect now.

[Dan LeBatard]

You put the standard in such a high place that when it now happens, you can run around and look at Jake Paul and make fun of him for it, because it just never happens. And I just. We've been sitting here talking about human error and mistakes. The officials can't make mistakes. The game can't be officiated. We're going to have robots in the future officiating NBA games. And yet here you Are with everything you're consuming. We couldn't get through today's show without a means line dropping three times. We decided to go live bravely for four hours. Today it's actually three hours, but our four hours that are each 40 minutes long. Put it on the poll Levittard show. Should 40 minutes ever be referred to as an hour?

[John Zaslow]

When I had to explain that to my wife when I first started coming in here like a year ago, she didn't understand what the hell I was saying. It's like, wait, 37 minutes, that's an hour.

[Dan LeBatard]

Did your wife watch any of Greg Cody last week? Yeah. Yeah.

[John Zaslow]

She's confused by him still. Yeah. Like, I didn't get over it after a couple of weeks. Took me dozen years.

[Guest 2]

But even conception, she didn't get it. What about conception?

[Tony]

When she. When he was saying, like, she's going to love this, like, later on, did she love it?

[John Zaslow]

Okay. I don't know if she saw that happen part. All right, like, so you withheld. Sometimes I do. Sometimes I withhold. If things are said on the show that I don't necessarily want her to experience, I will not show that you withheld cuckception.

[Jeremy]

Does she know that everyone knows you're a cuck?

[John Zaslow]

To what extent? I mean, she obviously knows the Billy Crystal story, but does she know that, like, every day people are, look, the new thing today is there's a new chair in a hotel that's circulating on social media. And then everybody's like, oh, says, did you see this? Yes, I've seen it. Last week it was the cuckooarium, and now it's a new one. There's a new cuck chair in a hotel.

[Guest 2]

She liked that.

[Stugats]

Your wife?

[John Zaslow]

All right, well, yeah, so I did not show her that part. She doesn't need to see everything.

[Stugats]

Saw the cuck shower. Yeah.

[John Zaslow]

Yeah, that's the cook area.

[Dan LeBatard]

Have you guys seen Billy Corbin's movie on Hulu? It's the most popular movie documentary in the history of Hulu. It's about the Falwell family and the fact that Liberty's President Falwell's son was famously a cuck with a Miami pool boy. It's a. It's great. It really. You guys haven't seen what I'm talking about? Is it called God forbid? Is that what it's called? You guys, you haven't seen what you haven't seen. It says it's worth a.

[John Zaslow]

This is Jerry Falwell we're talking about.

[Dan LeBatard]

It's Jerry Falwell's son. It'd be difficult.

[Stugats]

Junior.

[Dan LeBatard]

Junior? Yeah, it's Junior.

[Stugats]

You should really watch it. It seems like Dan really wants you to watch it. Are you comfortable watching?

[John Zaslow]

I mean, we'll see. I'm living my life.

[Stugats]

Just pull up a chair.

[Dan LeBatard]

You will see because you are comfortable watching.

[John Zaslow]

I got things to do. We'll see.

[Dan LeBatard]

You don't do them in the chair. Others do them and you watch.

[John Zaslow]

No, everybody knows about me. I don't do that at all. Never.

[Dan LeBatard]

I don't think they do know that or they wouldn't be saying your shower is the Kaquarium.

[John Zaslow]

One dream. I had one dream. Someone sent me a picture of the Kaquarium and they superimposed Billy Crystal in the shower. Swear to God.

[Jeremy]

Did it turn you on a little?

[Stugats]

Well, he wouldn't be in the shower, right? He'd be outside. You'd be the one in the shower,

[John Zaslow]

just standing there, like, being all funny.