The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz

Local Hour: Chicks Dig Greg Cote

Date: February 13, 2026
Hosts: Dan Le Batard, Stugotz
Location: Elser Hotel, Downtown Miami

Episode Overview

This Local Hour episode captures the unique and playful chaos that defines the Le Batard universe: sports talk, pop-culture riffs, and South Florida flavor all collide around Greg Cote's awkward debut as the show's "Love Guru." The episode quickly pivots into a sharp, funny dissection on the current state of the NBA, load management, and irrelevance of All-Star games, then closes with a dive into the Miami Dolphins’ messy quarterback situation and debate about Malik Willis as a possible solution. The tone is irreverent, self-aware, often self-deprecating, and fueled by Greg Cote’s double entendres and Dan’s probing incredulity.

Main Discussion Segments & Timestamps

1. Greg Cote: Reluctant Love Guru (00:00 – 03:14, 29:54–32:10)

Key Points:

• Dan expresses gratitude that Greg, Jeremy, and Tony showed up on a "company holiday" (Valentine’s Day Eve), while most co-workers took the day off post-Super Bowl.
• Greg is anointed as the show's “Love Guru,” but exhibits obvious reluctance.
• Greg jokes about the origins of "romance" being linked to his own name, delves into his sexual prowess, and boasts humor as his sex appeal.
• Running gags include: "Chicks dig my sense of humor" and awkward attempts at sexiness (“I exude that...chicks dig my sense of humor, quite frankly.” – Greg Cote, 01:03).
• Anticipation and skepticism abound ahead of the Love Guru’s debut in hour two; the crew lays odds (over/under: 21.5 babies) on how many double entendres Greg will deliver.
• Greg, when asked about his stamina for this role, responds with more innuendo: “Look, nobody finishes like me.” (31:40)
• Repeated jokes revolve around Greg running out of breath and quips on stamina, finishing, and camera angles.
• Classic Cote: “Sincerity can be overrated, particularly in the boudoir. You have to make it fun.” (30:11)

Notable Quotes:

• "Romance begins and ends with ‘re’. What are the middle initials of the name Greg? …Coinky dink? I don't think so." – Greg Cote (01:31)
• "I am the man for the job. I'm going to be coming strong." – Greg Cote (03:05)
• “My personality pre-date Curb Your Enthusiasm, Stugotz. … I'm not gonna say Larry David patterned himself [after me].” – Greg Cote (19:17)

2. State of the NBA: Load Management & All-Star Game Irrelevance (03:22 – 18:44)

Key Points:

• Dan describes a widely shared apathy: NBA All-Star Games and Pro Bowl are now "irrelevant"—they’re just parties, no longer meaningful competitions.
• Rundown of previous night's lackluster NBA games: defending champ OKC loses by 17 at home while resting stars; All-Star debates focus on apathy and lack of effort.
• Tony brings up the absurdity of streaming giants paying for games like OKC vs. Milwaukee when star players rest.
• Content riffing on Nick Wright’s hypothetical suggestion: black vs. white All-Star teams to make players care (met with dark, tongue-in-cheek humor).
• Greg observes that fans now discuss "how do we fix basketball?" post-football, mirroring the former “fix baseball” discourse.
• Dan critiques SPO (Miami Heat coach Erik Spoelstra) for hope trafficking and spinning stats to mask a team that can’t stay healthy.
• Statistical analysis by Tony: Miami’s defensive rating looks good without key scorer Tyler Herro, but only because Herro is a poor defender.

Notable Quotes:

• “It can't be 82 games of irrelevant because everyone is just trying to make sure that they're as healthy as they can be when the actual games really matter.” – Dan (13:41)
• “The NBA, I feel like, waved a white flag and said we're desperate … when they started the in-season tournament. Gimmicks like that are just screaming that we know our fans are getting bored because the season’s too damn long.” – Greg Cote (14:56)
• “Load management is now a bit of a slur… All these teams are simply telling you, yes, the 82 games don't matter anymore the way the playoff games matter.” – Dan (22:24)
• “There's something that's happening here, though, that's corrosive.” – Dan on fan indifference (22:24)
• Dim view on All-Star Weekend: “Then you have All-Star weekend to remind you how bad the NBA has become.” – Greg Cote (27:02)

Memorable Moments:

• Greg refers to the dunk contest as “the shooting thing,” causing confusion and laughter (09:06, 27:07).
• Debate about the origins and efficacy of the “back of the hand” dismissive gesture; a quintessential Le Batard sidetrack (11:12).

3. The NBA’s Injury Problem and Perceptions of Effort (19:57 – 23:44)

Key Points:

• Brief proposal heard around the NBA: eliminate the draft—a nonstarter given owners’ desire to control costs.
• League-wide injuries are chalked up to increased size, speed, and specialization/tissue wear.
• Dan draws a distinction: fans perceive players as not caring, but in reality, players are “physically breaking” under the modern game’s demands.
• New 65-game minimum for player awards puts even more stress on already fragile bodies.

Notable Quotes:

• "The sport, it's breaking its players in a way that not even football seems to be physically breaking its players." – Dan (20:56)
• “If you're an average player in this grind … it's tough to reach 60 [games].” – Greg (22:05)

4. Miami Dolphins’ QB Conundrum: Tua's Future & Malik Willis Debate (32:10 – end)

Key Points:

• New Dolphins leadership (head coach and GM John Eric Sullivan) faces the challenge of publicly handling Tua Tagovailoa's uncertain future.
• Sullivan’s fan Q&A on Tua is described by Dan as “an avalanche of verbal diarrhea,” with the GM inadvertently fueling rumors before an awkward walk-back.
• Greg and Tony analyze Miami’s options: If the Dolphins sign Malik Willis (recent Green Bay backup), is he a legitimate solution or just a backup?
• Chris Simms (via Dan Patrick Show) hyped as a rare Malik Willis believer—rating him nearly on par with Jordan Love.
• Dan and Greg debate NFL fans' dogmatic impatience with young QBs: Why the rush to judgment when QB development has historically taken years?
• Greg warns Dolphins will likely both sign Willis and draft a QB.

Notable Quotes:

• "That was an avalanche of verbal diarrhea. That's a rookie GM realizing early that he made the mistake..." – Dan (34:45)
• “They’re in the worst quarterback conundrum in the NFL right now because they don’t have a great backup out there… That’s a bad situation.” – Greg (36:43)
• “If they take [Malik Willis], that’s their plan for next year. Hard stop.” – Dan (44:24)
• "It takes more than two years to learn how to play that position." – Dan (41:11)

Memorable Moments:

• Dan sets up a challenge: If Dolphins sign Willis, Dan bets that's their main plan; Greg bets they’ll still draft a QB.
• Tony: “He’s a tier one athlete. We can all agree on that.”

Episode Highlights: Notable Quotes & Humorous Bits

• “Romance begins with the letters R and E. At the heart of the name Greg, are the letters R and E. Coinky dink? I don't think so.” – Greg Cote (01:31)
• Dan on the NBA: “You can’t keep asking paying customers to go in there and watch just the Heat uniforms… it feels like something that’s stuck in the purgatory between G League and when people in the NBA are really trying.” (13:41)
• “Nobody finishes like me.” – Greg Cote, when prodded about stamina for his Love Guru role (31:40)
• “Sincerity can be overrated, particularly in the boudoir. You have to make it fun.” – Greg Cote (30:11)
• “That was an avalanche of verbal diarrhea.” – Dan, dissecting GM John Eric Sullivan’s Dolphins Q&A (34:45)
• “I am the man for the job. I'm going to be coming strong.” – Greg Cote (03:05)

Important Timestamps

• Debut of "Love Guru" topic: 00:00, revisited for the launch tease at 29:54
• NBA All-Star Game and league apathy: 03:22 – 14:56
• Discussion on injuries/load management: 19:57 – 23:44
• Dolphins QB talk (Tua, Malik Willis): 32:10 – close

Final Thoughts

This episode is emblematic of the Le Batard Show’s strengths: sharp, playful commentary on sports malaise (particularly the NBA’s existential struggles), rooted in a Miami-centric vibe, sprinkled with inside jokes, and driven by recurring cast members’ unique personalities. The “Love Guru” shtick teases a much-anticipated, inevitably trainwreck segment with Greg Cote, but the heart of the show lies in its smart, funny, often critical conversations about the shifting state of contemporary pro sports, and in its affectionate skewering of its own regulars.