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A
Chris, I need some assistance today. I'm a little bit ornery because the folks around here have decided that the day before Valentine's Day is a company holiday and basically football ends. And then a lot of people sort of just said, ah, not gonna work today. So I'm genuinely grateful that Greg Cody and Jeremy and Tony rushed into the breach here in order to help us on a Friday. But I've got on my hands in Greg Cody somebody who appears to be, from everything I can tell, a very reluctant love guru. And I cannot have the love guru be reluctant. You got to be enthusiastic about being the love guru. We're going to debut Greg Cody as the love guru in the second hour of the show today. And he doesn't seem to really want to do it. Like, he. I don't know whether he lacks confidence or what's happening. But you, Tony, you've seen a reluctant love guru.
B
I have. I have. He's been. He's been treading his feet a little bit trying to get back there. And do you know his love dungeon back there? If I can say love dungeon, Greg.
C
I don't know if that feel good about that.
B
Maybe, but you got to be sexy, right? Like, that's the thing.
C
I exude that. I mean, okay, you know, I don't have to manufacture it. It's natural. You know, it's. Chicks dig my sense of humor, quite frankly. We used to say chicks dig back in the day. I don't still play.
B
You're good.
C
Still plays. Okay, but, you know, listen, I'm.
A
You afraid that you're. You're going to get canceled for saying chicks dig? We used to say that. Did you get scared? The love guru needs to play unafraid. It can't be reluctant and afraid. You got to choose one.
C
Okay? Chicks dig it. You. They do. And look, I don't know if you guys have ever figured this out. The word romance begins and ends with re. What are the middle initials of the name Greg?
B
That is a stretch.
C
Do you think that's a compromise?
A
Wow, that's a stretch. Take us through this again. Here, this. Just take us through again what you just did.
C
Romance begins with the letters R and E. At the heart of the name Greg, are the letters R and E Coinky dink? I don't think so. You know, I've lived my whole life as a loving man. You know, it's, you know, not for nothing. Look, the world is more populated than it otherwise would have been because of my seed. Now, I'm not bragging that's true.
A
Actually, he's right about that seed. Always a good feeling. What he's saying is factually, mathematically accurate. The world is indeed more populated because he has sperm.
B
Right? Well, twice.
C
And use it.
A
Yeah.
B
We set the over under on babies. We already got one. I'm thinking like 21 and a half.
A
In an hour, we debut the Love Guru. He's not going to be reluctant, right? Because everyone's. Everyone's noticed already this reluctancy, and I don't understand it entirely. I think this is a winner. You giving love advice. We're taking calls and callers are asking love questions because they want to go to an authority on how to properly dispense love so that their seed can also perhaps go to creating a world that has more people in it.
C
I am the man for the job. I'm going to be coming strong.
A
All right.
B
He's on it, baby.
A
This is the Dan Levatar show with.
C
The Stu Guts podcast.
A
I don't know if Greg Cody has an answer to this question, but there is something that he does that he's done the entire time that I have known him that expresses just general disregard and disrespect for anything someone else is saying. And it's when he literally gives you the back of his hand, like he says whatever, and the back of his hand gets flicked at you. He's done it all. All the time I've known him when he's just done with whatever you're saying. And I saw Tony do it here recently because there was some sound from SPO playing in the other room and Tony gave the back of the hand to the sound. It was just video supposed not here. He's like, know a mediocre team. I can smell a mediocre team. I don't care about your words. I know what a mediocre team smells like. So I'm going to play that sound here in a second for the audience of SPO saying what the dangers are if the Miami Heat get to the playoffs. Because he's threatening that they're going to make some noise. That's what he's doing. Even though I think is it. The last time we saw them in the playoffs, they got to Cleveland and they lost in four games. And the last of them was the worst playoff loss by points anyone's ever seen.
B
Different team.
A
And it is. It is a different team. Yes, they've got if it plays, if its players play. But this is the part that I wanted to get into with Cody. I am now old Enough somehow as are you, that the basketball All Star Game and the Pro bowl no longer matter. Like, they're just not there. They're parties, but they are irrelevant. The Pro bowl was played last week and we didn't mention it. Not. It didn't get a mention around here. And now the NBA All Star Game. They go into this weekend with the games from last night, which were an abomination, as everyone in media content is taking this period of time and doing now to basketball what they used to do to baseball as soon as football ended. How do we fix baseball? It became the conversation point the moment football disappeared. But now it's how do we fix basketball? And I want to talk specifically about what happened last night. So you've got. The streaming services are now. They're paying for this slop. They got three games last night. The first is you're defending champions against Milwaukee. And here's how they advertise it with the guys they're putting on the marquee. It's Chet Holmgren and it's Miles Turner. No one told them Miles Turner not playing tonight. So it's. It's Bobby Portis and them boys going after the defending champions. But OKC is trying so little. They lose by 17 at home because they're not playing ever. Anybody. So the defending champions lose by 17 at home. Then it's Portland, Utah. No reason to watch that for any reason. Utah's just fined half a million dollars because they're not trying. And then the late game is LeBron and Dallas and Cooper Flagg is not there and Luke is not there, but LeBron is playing and he's assisting and scoring on the first 23 points of the game because he's legitimately the only star in the sport playing last night.
B
I know how to help this sad basketball. Maybe if you talk about it with this music, it sounds better.
A
Well, he's playing live.
B
It's already working.
A
People are going to be shocked this weekend when he comes out. John Test, he's got to be over 70. And he blows the nipples off of everybody in the NBA because he's going to be the only one trying.
B
Say those names again, though. Bobby Portis, it's already. It makes me happy, though. You put A.J. green played 37 minutes. Dano. You also missed Donovan Clingan being the lead scorer for the Trailblazers. You also missed Diang being the lead scorer for the Bucks. And LeBron had a triple double last night.
C
Oldest man ever with a triple double.
A
I understand why it is everyone is talking about, oh my God, what's happening in this league. To me it feels like it's happened fast. I guess it hasn't happened fast. Right. It's been. The NBA All Star game has been losing relevancy, at least in part because, you know the guys aren't actually trying. The Pro bowl loses relevancy because, you know, you know the guys aren't trying. Nick Wright is getting a take off that gets people to try. When he says just make the All Star game black guys against white guys, then you will get everyone to try. That's what we have to do in order to get them to try. Create a mid season tournament that gets them extra money and just ignite the race wars.
B
Unity by division, Dave.
C
Yeah, well, that's sort of what they're doing now. It's not black against white, but it's us against the world. I mean, they're trying.
A
We need more of that, I think. Right. Don't have enough of that in the world right now.
B
Us, the world by division.
C
That's pretty much what it is, us against the world.
B
Let's talk division, see if this helps. All right, go ahead, talk about it.
A
Thank you for getting us that sound. John Tosh gave it to us. We have trouble with, you know, royalty free music around here. You may have noticed that our music got a lot worse around here, but he gave us this song and so you should, you should play it as much as you can today and see if we could get people excited. But how do you feel if you're Peacock last night and you're throwing out there OKC, you're throwing out there OKC against Milwaukee and Milwaukee's winning by 17 at OKC because OKC is not playing anybody. Like, how do you, how do you feel about that headed into the All Star break? The whole, the whole conversation around this sport has become about who's not trying instead of about who is.
C
Yeah. And as a microcosm, the, the shooting thing is now four people. The slam dunk contest, the three point.
A
Contest is the shooting thing. What is the shooting.
C
I should have been more specific there.
B
I know, I got scared.
A
What is the shooting thing?
C
Okay, the, the, the slam dunk contest is what I said.
A
That's not the shooting thing. It's the dunking.
B
You could have given me 100 guesses what you meant.
C
It's now four people and none of them are people associated with acrobatics. You'd want to watch.
A
I don't, I don't actually want to talk about the irrelevance. Of the All Star Game. The more macro conversation I want to have is, are you guys not stunned that a couple of days after football we're now doing the how do you fix basketball Conversation as a national topic? When that used to be what was happening to baseball, as it got less interesting and more regional and everyone realized, oh, the reason the All Star Games don't matter is because you're making the regular season. The exhibitions, because SPO saying things like this, okay, if it's even the Heat organization can't get its players on the floor. So that SPO is saying this about the present amalgamation of Simone Fontechios and Miles Gardner's. They're throwing out there as they all play exhibition basketball for 82 games. And everyone is just sitting here trying to get healthy to the games that actually matter. Here's Spode talking about, well, the Heat's record isn't what you think it is. We've had some really tough losses where.
B
We'Ve played really well. You know, that's.
A
That's the untold story about this.
B
You are ultimately what your record is, but we feel differently about that. Our defense is shaping up. That's getting a whole lot more consistent. And then offensively, I think when we.
A
Get our guys back, I think we're going to be a really dangerous offensive team.
B
We can be fourth in the league.
A
In scoring with, you know, large parts of our rosters on the sideline.
B
Just wait till, you know, we get.
A
Our guys back into the fold.
B
Just wait. Just wait till Tyler here, who's played 11 games, ends up showing up here and helping us again.
C
I gotta do a tutorial on that thing. You gotta start.
B
It's.
C
It's a flourish move. You start down here and then you.
A
Go up the thing. The thing where we have audio audience so that they might not see what you're doing. You're talking about the dismissive back of your hand. You give people the back of your hand. That is. Is that not. Jeremy, can you look up for me, please, the origins of the back of the hand as a dismissal? Because I believe that that's something to give someone. The. The back of the hand, I think, is something that. That goes back a ways. And Greg Cody has perfected it when he wants to dis does it with the back of the hand. Tony, you're dismissing what SPO is saying with the back of your hand.
B
I just feel like I get what he's saying. Like, yeah, if everything broke right, we could be a decent team in the East. That's already hurt and injured and depleted across the board. But that's not what what's happened. And he said you are what your record indicates. But hopefully we can get our players back. Whatever. That's hope trafficking, right? It feels like somebody's, somebody from the Heat organization is just off camera with some sort of weapon telling him like you better say something nice about this team.
A
Well, he knows he's also playing with the numbers too because fourth in the league in scoring isn't the way people are doing it. They play a pace right now that makes them fourth in the league in scoring. They're 17th in offensive rating, but they.
B
Are 10th in net rating because their defense is really good. And look, it's all limited sample sizes because these guys all haven't played together. But the starting lineup that they've gone to of Mitchell, Powell, Larson, Wiggins and Adebayo, they've only played 75 minutes together, but their net rating is +32 and a half. And when you play Jaime Hawkes, Khalil Ware and Tyler hero is a three man group, only 54 minutes, but they're plus 17. So suppose gotta be looking at what the combination of his eight or nine man lineups can be and be saying, hey, if these guys are out there, we're good.
A
Yeah. The problem with that is they're having all these close games against teams that are also not trying. And so they're going to be healthy in the playoffs too. But when your guys are healthy and you're fighting for your life in the.
B
Play in round, they also beat healthy Oklahoma City and healthy Detroit, like full.
A
Rosters, Utah at home.
B
Yeah, but, but that's been the Heat for how many years? Like that was the same team that went to the finals, did the same shit.
C
Well, they're, the Heat are madly inconsistent. They haven't had a two game winning streak since late December. I mean they're just not on any sort of a run. And the starting point to what SPO said should have been, hey, Tyler Herros had a lost season, we can't depend on it. Has he even played 10 games?
B
11.
C
11. It's a lost season for arguably their best scorer.
A
This is the part though that you can't do with all of this mixing and matching of nonsense. Please stop telling me how good their defensive rating is when they haven't been playing Tyler Herro. Which is part of why their defensive rating is so good. Every time he comes back, their defensive rating is no longer good because he's one of the worst defensive players in the league. The larger thing, though, that we're talking about here, that stretches out the customer in a way that causes indifference. You can't make it 82 games that don't matter. It can't be 82 games of irrelevant because everyone is just trying to make sure that they're as healthy as they can be when the actual games are really matter. You can't keep asking paying customers to go in there and watch just the Heat uniforms because this is. This is what's happening all over the league. That Milwaukee team that I'm watching last night win against the defending champions by 17. I'm watching something that feels like a minor league game. It feels like something that's. That's stuck in the purgatory between G League and when people in the NBA are really trying.
C
The single reason that I'm a football guy is not that I find the sport more entertaining or more fun to watch than basketball or hockey. It's that the stakes you talk about 82 games is too many. Even when you're not tanking, 82 games is too many. And the NBA, I feel like the NBA waved a white flag and said we're desperate. A few years ago when they started the in season tournament, gimmicks like that are just screaming that we know our fans are getting bored because the season's too damn long.
B
Well, Greg, we have another gimmick on the way, which is now the play in tournament for the seeding of the lottery. Right. So if you're a bad tanking team, they're talking about having another tournament now at the end of the season to win that tournament to then get better seating in the lottery. Those loser tournaments are always fun. Howdy, folks. Mike Ryan here. Quick break to talk to you about one of our show's longest, most tenured and greatest partners, Miller Lite. I love this product because so many moments were made legendary by having Miller Lite there. And it's not just the good times. Sometimes you and your pals are sad because a game didn't go your way. And you take a sip of Miller Lite and you still recognize. Darn, this tastes good. And I made the right call.
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See DKNG co audio. Don LeBatard Surely every time you're watching this, you recognize that your wife is laughing, that she married. She married Larry David.
C
I. I do. Yeah. One of the great characters in the history of television, in my humble opinion. And. And to my credit, my personality.
A
In my humble opinion, followed by to my credit, amazing.
C
My personality.
A
Just amazing.
C
Predate Curb youb Enthusiasm Stugats.
A
Oh, wow.
C
I'm not gonna say Larry David.
A
Okay.
C
Patterned himself.
A
You copy? All right. Put it on the please. Juju Did Greg Cody copyright being an asshole long before Larry David.
C
This is the Dan lebatar Show with the Stugach.
A
One of the things that is now being suggested as a solution as everyone tries to fix what is an obvious problem is just eliminate the draft. I don't believe that will happen because it allows them to fix their costs. I don't think that the league actually wants all their owners bidding on Cooper Flag because then all of a sudden they will have one reckless owner who gives way too much money, and then they will have finances they can no longer control. The draft allows them to fix their costs with their young people and get value, and OKC gets to just trap its people in okc. You can't leave. We've got you under contract. It's a great move for OKC to be able to stay in the I should mention that Shay Gilgeous Alexander is actually hurt, which I believe is the larger problem. Right. Everyone's talking about tanking, but it's clear that the way that this sport is now being played and the ground that these human beings are being asked to cover with their limbs and their tissue and all of these body parts that are being asked to cover more ground. It's clear that the sport, it's breaking its players like it's physically breaking its players in a way that not even football seems to be physically breaking its players.
B
And I get it. You're bigger, faster, stronger in this decade, in this generation, than ever. But, like, Those guys played 82 games also, and they. You would see these huge knee pads and elbow pads and all these big things, and they would gut through it. But just where's the. Where's the disconnect from then to now? You know, where we started with baseball, it was when guys started throwing 100 miles an hour on every pitch and getting Tommy John. And so all of a sudden, there were innings limits on starting pitchers. And we said, oh, but Greg Maddox and Pedro Marti, all these guys used to throw 300 innings. Why didn't it matter? Because they trained differently. Because they weren't specialized From a young age with the wear and tear on the specifics of those muscles, they were playing different sports. Basketball. Jayson Tatum was like, made in a lab. Dude has been doing the same workouts on his body since he was 12 years old. And so what started happening? The same wear and tear on the muscles of these athletes who are bigger, stronger, faster than ever. The skill may be higher, but the wear and tear is worse.
C
And now we're mandating that players play 65 games in the NBA just to be award eligible. Some of these guys have to have to play hurt and limp just to get to 65 games. Because forget playing 75 games anymore. If you're an average player in this grind, this continuous grind, it's tough to reach 60.
A
There's something that's happening here, though, that's corrosive. Okay? At this point, at this point, the phrase load management, think about what that phrase is meant to mean and how pejorative it actually is, right? Load management is meant to tell everybody we're trying to keep these physical specimens so that they are maximized when the playoffs start, which is when we're all playing for real, our very best. Now, load management is a bit of a slur, right? All you have happening is all these teams are simply telling you, yes, the 82 games don't matter anymore the way that the playoff games matter. We have to make sure that everyone is in the best physical shape by the time the first playoff games are being played, because everything before that is made for television exhibition. I don't believe that the basketball player doesn't care. These people are fighting over money. People who are fighting over money tend to care about making sure they get that money. Their organizations are not rewarding them for not caring. So you have a perception problem. They don't care. When that's not what's happening, they're physically breaking.
C
Speaking of load Management, the love guru is going to tell you a little bit about load management next hour.
A
I love this.
B
I already love it.
C
I'm just saying, baby, that's two.
A
I don't know if he's going to have a lot of moves other than the baby get me for. Give me the James Harden sound here, please, so that I can. Like, this is part of the problem, right? They've got a bit of a contaminant here. There's not much of anything you can do if you're going to hit the player with either he doesn't care or he only cares about money. Those two things can't fit together, right? Cause if you care about the money, you're gonna be playing. And I know James Harden has a reputation of, hey, he doesn't care that much, but at the very least, that dude plays all the time. Like he's. He's rarely out. He likes to play basketball. And here's James Harden just telling you he's saying the quiet part out loud. And we generally don't like this part of sports. We want it to be the playpen. We want it to be pure, we want it to be innocent. We want compet to be the thing that matters. The reason that you get the NBA right now fining Indiana $100,000 and Utah $500,000. Saying integrity has to matter is because they need the customer to believe that the product that's being put on the court is one that is filled with care. And here's James Harden to tell you, ah, the whole thing's a bank, man. And the whole quote unquote loyalty thing is I think it's overrated. You know, I think this is a business at the end of the day, and it's a lot of money involved and a lot of decisions that has to be made. You know what I mean? So, you know, like, if a player isn't producing or if. If you don't see him in the future or, you know, front office, some of them have to do like a job and want to keep their job, you know, so they gotta feel like they gotta do what's best for, you know, to keep their job and they trade players. Or if a guy isn't happy and he wants to be traded to somewhere else, then it's a problem. There's just so many different dynamics that go into it. This is a business at the end of the day, it seems to me, Greg, it really does, that this feels like it happened fast. The whole, let's fix the NBA. The NBA is in tatters. I know it's been happening for five years. It's been happening, feels like since the beginning of the pandemic. But I can say without any dispute from anybody, right this, right now is the worst that it's been correct. When I'm turning on my television last night, the streamers are now fighting for the rights to play to show these live games. And I'm watching exhibition basketball. The basketball played last night was irrelevant. It didn't matter for any other reasons other than to watch and see who's trying the least. Who looks like they're trying the least. It just can't be that before the All Star Game. You can't head into the All Star Game, the party, the weekend celebration of all the things the sport is. And your last games are all these fart noises that you're playing a bunch, that Bobby Portis is out there schooling the defending champions.
C
And then you have All Star weekend to remind you how bad the NBA has become.
B
Shooting thing.
C
Yeah, the shooting thing. Exactly. Well put by you. I mean, it's, you know, the, the All Star score is always 147 to 138 because nobody cares.
B
Hold on.
A
You guys are getting negative again. All right, go ahead.
C
I know it's exciting. A lot of points.
A
Why did you call the dunk contest the shooting thing? Like, I don't think. Put it on the poll at LeBatard show. Has anyone in the world ever called the dunk contest the shooting thing?
C
Right. Yeah, it should have been the three point reference. Yes, it should have the shooting thing.
A
Are you ready to be the love guru?
C
Because the born ready baby.
A
Born ready tends to go pretty precipitously down over the course of the week. Your stamina, like by the time we get to Friday.
C
Stamina. Speaking of stamina, baby.
A
You barely got the breath out without there your Ric.
B
Flair edit that in while talking about stamina.
A
Yeah, you didn't seem to have a lot. You couldn't get your stamina to the end of the. That woo sound.
C
Yeah, it was a bad woo. One of the world's worst woos.
B
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Don Lebatard. You don't remember the idea?
B
I was probably, like, that kind of thing.
A
Something.
C
Okay, no, the home run call was that kind of swing. That kind of thing.
B
Stugats. Oh, it's a good call.
C
Thank you. And plus, it doesn't matter who's hitting it. Like, you're not tailoring it to a particular name. You know, all that jazz, you know, you don't got to do that. You just. Oh, that would be a great call. Swing. That kind of thing. This is the Dan Levatar show with the Stugats.
A
I'm a little worried about the love guru. The love guru appears during the Dominique Foxworth segment in about 15 minutes. How are you feeling about doing this? Because you've lacked confidence in this over the course of the week, and I'm sensing a lack of sincerity in the present confidence you're showing.
C
Yeah, well, sincerity can be overrated, particularly in the boudoir. You know, you have to make it fun. You know, sex is too serious. Let's have a little fun. You know, that's. That's. You know, I hope somebody tees me up for that answer, because I have no idea what the questions are going to be. But, you know, you like to have fun. That's part of the whole thing.
A
Put it on the poll, please.
C
Laugh riot.
A
Sex too serious at Lebatard show. Is sex too serious? And also, is sincerity overrated in the boudoir? Because I believe his only move is going to be to turn English words into French to make boudoir, to make them suggestive. Oh, for the love of God. How many babies are we gonna.
B
Three right now? 21 and a half is the line.
C
I know the over, under is 21. And I'm gonna play with that. Okay, I'm gonna play with that line. I'm gonna get to, like, 19 and a half, and then the excitement is gonna build. And I won't say it again.
A
Did you run out of breath again? Like, I'm a little bit. I'm a little bit worried about your stamina. We've gotta get through three hours today and you're already. Your sentences are lacking breath by the time you get to the finish line on where you know, you should have the timing on this down because you know where you're headed, how much breath you need and how much energy you need to get to the end of the sentence. But you've already run out of breath a couple of times on your way to the finish line on. What are your own thoughts?
C
Look, nobody finishes like me.
A
This is what the Love Guru is going to do. It's just going to be double entendre.
B
This is what you wanted. You wanted him excited, you wanted him sexy, you wanted him. Give me those. Double entendre.
C
Entendre. I don't want to say I'm excited, but keep that camera from the waist up, will you?
B
All right. You wanted this. Don't look around upset. You wanted this.
A
I did want the Love Guru. That's true. And we're going to get the Love Guru in about 15 minutes when Dominique Foxworth is here. I do want to segue though, into the new Dolphin. Foreheads are going out in public and leading publicly with their foreheads and their voices. Voices. They're sitting in front of people and giving a mishmash of conversation as it relates to Tua, which it's an awkward time, right, where everyone knows the couple's breaking up. I don't know if you guys have had this experience at like parties at your house and stuff where you know a couple is on the rocks. You're feeling all the things that tell you they're on the rocks. But they're trying to keep up appearances publicly. And every once in a while the foreheads have to go out there and they have to talk to fans and tell them what's going on. But they don't know yet what's going on. They're. They're saddled with this quarterback and they don't know if they're going to be able to trade him. They don't know if anyone's going to want that contract.
B
This was a fan only event. This was media excluded. So I want to talk to our fans. And this is Nat Moore sitting with the new head coach and John Eric Sullivan, the new GM and asking if they will be looking at quarterbacks, hear the fans reaction, if they will be looking at quarterbacks in the offseason.
C
Of course we'll be looking at other quarterbacks in this draft, every draft thereafter. But look, I've had TUA was in my office the other Day. If I'm being perfectly frank, we had a great conversation. Tua has been a very good player in this league. He's done a really. A lot of really good things for the Miami Dolphins. You guys should be proud to have him. And having had him, I don't know what the future holds right now.
B
And I told Tua that we're working through some things. What I can tell you is that.
C
We'Re going to infuse competition into that room.
B
Whether Tua's part of the room or.
C
Whether he's not part of the room, we're going to infuse competition into that room like we will do in every.
B
At every other position.
C
Tua knows where we are. We've been very honest and up front, and Tua also knows that he will be the first to know when we make a decision. So if Tua is the first to know, you guys can't be the first to know. And I know that you respect and appreciate that.
B
But we're getting close to a decision.
C
And, and when we do, you know, we'll let Tua know whether he's going to be part of this or not.
A
And.
C
And we'll move forward. But you can rest assured that we.
B
Will add competition to that room one.
C
Way or the other to make it the best that we can.
A
That was an avalanche of verbal diarrhea. That's a rookie GM realizing early that he made the mistake. And spen minute, once he got the applause for the thing that was getting aggregated, he tried to correct it for the last minute after that, as soon.
C
As, like, oh, no.
A
Yeah, no, that's exactly what happened. Look, this is what happened. I don't want to play the whole thing again, but just play it off the top. What happens here is simply John Eric Sullivan says, oh, no, they're going to aggregate the applause of. I say we're replacing the quarterback. Let me now cover all this up so that Tua doesn't get mad at me, so that I can explain all of this so the two. It doesn't react poorly. What an amateur move here.
C
Of course we'll be looking at other quarterbacks in this draft.
A
Here comes the backtrack every draft thereafter.
C
But look, I've had two of us in my office the other day.
A
Just an avalanche of bullshit.
B
I just love the smattering.
C
Like, yeah, I mean, he did say, though, we're going to look for another quarterback in the draft. Now they pick 11th. They're not going to get their dream quarterback at 11. And I think what he probably meant is maybe in the fourth or fifth round, if we see somebody we like at that. At that low level, we're going to take them. But I thought he was, you know, a little bit smart in being careful with. He's tiptoeing on soft ground right now when it comes to the Dolphins and the quarterback situation. He can't say that TUA is no longer a factor for us. He's going to try to drive up the. Whatever minimal interest there is in the trade market. You know, it's. Him and Kyler Murray are the two best potential free agent or trade quarterbacks out there, you know, and they're both flawed. I don't know if there's a market for either or both, but the Dolphins have to do that because if they just let them go, they're going to. They're going to burn $50 million, $54 million. So they're in. They're in the worst quarterback conundrum in the NFL right now because they don't have a great background up. They're looking at thinking about Malik Willis as the savior. That's a bad situation.
B
Malik Willis is actually pretty good. Like, I'd be interested to see him. Your voice went up and you said that a little. Really did. You're like, I like him, I like him. No, but Greg, to that point, like, if you're the new GM and you understand that there is an albatross on your roster with the TUA contract, you know, you're probably going to have to move a pick with him to go and move him, cuz he has no value on his own. Why not go out and say, hey, look, it's been a great time. We understand, like, kind of what great time? Yeah, like, like he's been good for, for the time that he was good or whatever. Right. But you, but you got to say it. You got to say, hey, we're going to go look at other things we're going to bring. And he says it kind of in the Verbal Diarrhea Avalanche where he's like, we're going to get guys to compete in here. We're going to interject competition into the room, whatever. But you can kind of put a line in the sand and be like, look, that was the old regime. That was the old way of doing things. Tua is a great quarterback for the time that he was here, whatever. And we're going forward. Like, I feel like you can go out and say that and earn capital with your fans.
C
Yeah. Oh, earning capital with your fans is not the problem. I think when you bring in a new head coach and a new gm, both who present themselves well, both coming from a winning franchise, dare say a legendary franchise, you have some credibility immediately.
A
But the quarterback, I don't, I don't agree with that. I don't. I don't agree that you buy yourself anything with the presenting themselves well, come from a winning franchise like that. This is disarray, okay? There are at the top of your division, two quarterbacks, two teams that have young quarterbacks who are established. You don't know what you're doing. Your GM is out there having to play some public game where he can't speak honestly because two has got to be the first to know because he's still my highest paid player. And I don't want to cause yet more headlines, but here's Chris Sims talking to Dan Patrick saying he's with Tony on this, that Malik Willis, and this is where they go because they're the Green Bay guys, that Malik Willis is a good option.
B
I think Malik Willis is a superstar.
C
Right.
B
I would think he is the, like the crowning gem of guys that's going to be out there as far as free agents that you can get no compensation, trading any.
C
Like, why wouldn't Pittsburgh go for Malik Willis?
B
If I were them, I'd be looking at that.
A
You're.
B
You're exactly right. I mean, Malik Willis has proven. I mean, he's got special talent, he has a special arm, he's got special mobility. He knows how to run the offense and do all of that. So, yeah, yeah, you know, he's a great story here.
C
Do you like Malik Willis more than Jordan Love?
A
I.
B
It's closer than I ever thought it would be.
A
Right.
B
And I'm really a Jordan Love fan. I mean, again, I'm the one that was like, Jordan Love, I think is going to be better than Tua when he was coming out in the draft. Right. So. So I'm with that. But Malik Willis, I'm not going to say he's better than Jordan Love right now. I will say that I think he shows more potential to be a greater player than Jordan Love.
A
Wait a minute. What.
B
What does he mean by that?
A
More potential to be a greater player than Jordan Love. I don't believe Malik Willis will ever be Jordan Love. I think there is some crazy talk in there. Although I do think that Chris Sims, I've told you guys before, there are a handful of people doing it extraordinarily well. Chris Long is one of them. Dominique Foxworth is Going to be on with us in a little while. Chris Sims is one of them, but I think Dan Patrick sort of put him in a corner there where he couldn't move on. He was talking so highly about Malik Ellis.
B
Jordan Love fan, Are you. Can you be. If you said that Malik Willis has the greater potential to be a greater superstar player, greater than that does just instantly make me feel. I mean, I know that's what this is all for.
C
Right.
B
I hear someone smarter than me talk about it. Like I, I'm. I'm more in on Malik Willis than I was yesterday.
C
I mean, when, when you have the dire straits they have in the QB room, Malik Willis is a smart guy to sign because he's probably at, at the very worst. He's back up quality, but he started six games in four seasons. He's 26. If he hasn't proved to the league yet that he's QB1 material, will he ever. I think he's worth the risk. They're gonna get him cheap. But is he the answer? We don't know that.
A
Why are you doing that though? I don't think it's fair though to say that if he hasn't shown it by 26, he's not gonna show it. Given that he had to sit behind Jordan Love, who was groomed by all elements of the organization to replace Aaron Rodgers. So there wasn't gonna be a way for Malik Willis showcase his talent that doesn't involve Jordan Love getting hurt.
C
Yeah, but he started with Tennessee, which had a much more fragile quarterback situation. He could have come in and wowed them instantly.
A
Well, so this, this part bothers me. Okay. This part bothers me. Earlier this week, Nick Wright and Mike Ryan are both like, yeah, I doubt Drake may more than I used to. And I'm like, guys, it takes more than two years to learn how to play that position. Like all my life, life. The playing of that position is something that takes a lot of years before you see somebody develop into something special. It's not a little bit of promise here and there just because CJ Stroud and Cam Newton come out and do something early on where you now expect guys to be great as soon as they arrive. Jaden Daniels, like, that's not a normal thing, Greg. It's become more normal when I give you the athletic quarterbacks who can move around a little and then make plays outside of the pocket and just ignore everything that was happening, happening in game plans and what that play was supposed to be, because you can get outside, outside the pocket and Create three more seconds of time. Those guys are having more success. But it takes years to learn how to play that position correctly. So these guys being out on Drake May because he had a tough run against three great defenses when he's. He's a couple years into his career. Like I don't understand how we just forget what is the entire history of the sport at that position. And just recently. Yeah, show me in a year or two now, kid, or I don't have any use for you.
C
You 100% on Drake May. He's 23 years old. He just had an MVP level season where he was second in MVP voting. Don't compare Drake May right now to Malik Willis.
A
That.
C
That's all. I mean, Malik Willis, through four, four seasons, double the time Drake May's been in the NFL, has yet to prove himself. Now you can say he hasn't had the chance to.
A
He hasn't.
C
Okay. I think it's smart. I think the Dolphins will sign Malik Willis and I think it's smart to do it because I agree with Chris saying Sims, where you're looking at a weak field of really easily gettable quarterbacks. Malik Willis is in the top tier of that weak field. I'm just not ready to say. All right, Malik Willis is the answer. Better than Tua. He's their answer. Let's go into 26. Malik Willis is our guy. That's our answer. We don't know yet, Greg, to that point.
B
He's a tier one athlete. We can all agree on that. Like we see him on the field and he's like, wow, that guy looks different than everybody else looks at that position. Well, you're hoping, hoping is that you can get him. He's bounced around a couple places. Obviously learned under Jordan Love and that regime with LaFleur, you're hoping that you can take him and he's a bit unmoldable. Right. Where now you can put him in a system and mold him into a quarterback with that, with that offense or with that special skill set that he has and try to get something out of that.
C
Right? Yeah. I mean the new Dolphin regime is better suited than anybody else in the league to really know, know Malik Willis, to really know what he has, what his weaknesses are. You know, why he couldn't unseat Jordan Love. So they're going to. If they take him, they believe in him. I think that's fair to say.
A
No, if they take him, he's their guy. They're not going anywhere else. If, like he's got options if they take him, that's what they're doing. Like, it's not that. What if they're not going to bring competition in for Malik Willis? If they get Malik Willis. Willis. That's the plan. Not. There are no second plans. That's it.
C
If they draft. If they sign Malik Willis, they will still draft a quarterback. That's a guarantee. I will bet you. At any odds.
B
Any odds. That's not a good deal to make.
C
Well, I use that as in what round? As a point in any round. They're going to draft. They're going to start. They're going to draft a quarterback every year, Greg. Every year.
B
If.
A
If they take Malik Willis, that's their plan for next year. Hard stop.
C
Okay, so. So when. When the. The new GM says we're going to infuse his word, we're going to infuse competition into that Malik.
A
What he's saying there that he can't say to fans or anyone else, Malik is going to replace Tua, I can't say to you yet. I got to say it to him first. I almost said it there a second ago. You started applauding and then I gave you the avalanche of verbal diarrhea after that. Love guru next.
Date: February 13, 2026
Hosts: Dan Le Batard, Stugotz
Location: Elser Hotel, Downtown Miami
This Local Hour episode captures the unique and playful chaos that defines the Le Batard universe: sports talk, pop-culture riffs, and South Florida flavor all collide around Greg Cote's awkward debut as the show's "Love Guru." The episode quickly pivots into a sharp, funny dissection on the current state of the NBA, load management, and irrelevance of All-Star games, then closes with a dive into the Miami Dolphins’ messy quarterback situation and debate about Malik Willis as a possible solution. The tone is irreverent, self-aware, often self-deprecating, and fueled by Greg Cote’s double entendres and Dan’s probing incredulity.
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This episode is emblematic of the Le Batard Show’s strengths: sharp, playful commentary on sports malaise (particularly the NBA’s existential struggles), rooted in a Miami-centric vibe, sprinkled with inside jokes, and driven by recurring cast members’ unique personalities. The “Love Guru” shtick teases a much-anticipated, inevitably trainwreck segment with Greg Cote, but the heart of the show lies in its smart, funny, often critical conversations about the shifting state of contemporary pro sports, and in its affectionate skewering of its own regulars.