The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz

Local Hour: Dan Doesn't Know Ball

Date: December 2, 2025
Location: Elser Hotel, Downtown Miami
Featured Guests: Dan Le Batard, Stugotz, Mike Ryan, Greg Cody, Roy, Jonathan Zaslo, Eddie, assorted show regulars

Overview

The "Local Hour" barrels through Miami Hurricanes football playoff drama, in-fighting about who “knows ball,” and a classic blend of competitive sports debate mixed with personal chaos. Mike Ryan leads the charge as the passionate Miami booster, challenges fly about loyalty and expertise, and the group spirals into the absurd—ranging from college football playoff selection to heated fantasy league controversies and Miami Heat NBA takes.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. College Football Playoff Debate: Miami’s Case

• (02:28, 12:17, 26:00, 27:57)
  • Mike Ryan & Greg Cody argue over the University of Miami's claim to a College Football Playoff berth—Greg, ever the loyal alum, doubts their chances, while Mike nearly explodes with conviction that Miami deserves to be in.
  • Debate over playoff selection criteria: Mike highlights the CFP’s official tiebreakers—strength of schedule, head-to-head, common opponents—asserting Miami checks every box over rivals like Notre Dame and Texas Tech.
  • Greg insists Texas Tech is the only team that could possibly blow out Miami, but isn’t convinced they'd actually do it.
  • The group lampoons the committee for inconsistency: the "criteria changes every week, changes team to team" (26:52, Mike Ryan).

Notable Quote

"Miami shouldn't be debated as a playoff team. It's a matter of fact. This is a playoff team and it might just be the best team in the nation."
—Mike Ryan (12:45)

Notable Exchange

Greg Cody: “You think I misrepresented your attitude when you were talking to Greg earlier before?”
Mike Ryan: “If that is not your stance this week, then you're not with me, you're against.” (12:53)

2. Who Knows Ball? – Allegiances and Accusations

• (10:58, 13:02, 24:23, 31:03, 36:17)
  • Mike accuses Dan and Greg of not being “ball knowers,” a running theme punctuating the episode.
  • Show insiders and university voices question Dan's and Greg's credibility on football, with suggestions Mario Cristobal avoids the show because it's “full of non ball-knowers.”
  • Greg counters: “I'm the alumni. I'm an alumni hater.” (10:04)
  • Mike's “Department of War” persona emerges, painting himself as Miami’s ride-or-die booster.

Notable Quote

“How dare you look me in the face and say I am not a ball knower.”
—Greg Cody (13:02)

“I am a proud Miami Hurricane booster. I love this program pretty much more than anything that isn't a human being on this planet. And I will die for this program if I have to."
—Mike Ryan (36:25)

3. Governors Stealing Takes: The CFP Criteria "War"

• (20:05, 20:57, 22:00, 23:06)
  • Mike describes Florida Governor Ron DeSantis and Texas Governor Greg Abbott plagiarizing his playoff tweets, using identical criteria graphics and talking points in support of their state’s teams.
  • Mike jokingly apologizes after referring to Abbott, who is in a wheelchair, as "Wheels," issuing a tongue-in-cheek statement on fake Miami “Department of War” letterhead. The group debates whether the apology or the initial nickname is more offensive.
  • The panel lampoons the spectacle of politicians wading into sports fandom and using internet memes as official communication.

Notable Quotes

“Ron DeSantis is stealing Mike shit. And I'm convinced that everything Mario Cristobal does is with Mike Ryan's hand up his back."
—Greg Cody (09:05)

“I call them wheels, which you already know because Dan totally undercut it. Greg Abbott famously in a wheelchair.”
—Mike Ryan (22:36)

"In the heat of spirited sports debate, I referred to Greg Abbott as Wheels in a miscalculated attempt at jocular banter... I should have simply called him a... This was my initial instinct. For this lapse... I offer my sincere apology."
—Greg Cody, reading Mike Ryan's statement (23:43)

4. Miami Heat and NBA Lottery Anxiety

• (44:42)
  • Quick pivot to the NBA: Greg Cody flags OKC Thunder’s historic dominance and the specter of a great team also having top draft picks from struggling teams like the Clippers and 76ers, raising competitive balance fears.

Notable Quote

"OKC is in a position where they might have through 20 games the best team anyone's ever seen."
—Greg Cody (45:34)

5. Personal Chaos: Lunch, Texts, and Fantasy Drama

• (38:00, 40:41)
  • Greg gets lost on the way to lunch; Dan reveals their texts to gentle ribbing.
  • The fantasy football league descends into drama over missed picks on a Black Friday game—Chris accuses Greg (the “commissioner”) of poor oversight, Greg and Eddie volley blame back and forth, Mike pipes in about loyalty and responsibility.
  • The “Ways” navigation app gets scapegoated for Greg’s navigation woes, which only adds to the fun.

Notable Quote

"How do you get lost on the way to the office? I'll say it again, like you've been coming here for now a couple of years."
—Greg Cody (40:08)

"What do I have to wipe the ass of my teams?"
—Eddie (41:52)

6. Meta Moments & Classic Banter

• (24:23, 36:09)
  • Mike repeatedly leans into his “Department of War” Miami fanatic persona, lamenting that he’s “been on the front lines for four weeks,” and he’s “that guy in the war movie in the tower that’s a little cuckoo.”
  • Recurring jokes around staged confrontations, endless digressions, Greg being called “pal” when Mike’s heated, and Roy appearing inexplicably dressed as John Tesh.

Notable Exchange

Mike Ryan: "You want to call it ridiculous? This is how I live, all right? This has me devastated. This has me... you have to pick me up off the floor with a spatula when we lose to FIU." (36:52)

Memorable Quotes & Segments (by Timestamp)

• 12:45 — "Miami shouldn't be debated as a playoff team..." (Mike Ryan)
• 13:02 — "How dare you look me in the face and say I am not a ball knower." (Greg Cody)
• 20:57 — "The committee will select the teams using a process that distinguishes among otherwise comparable teams by considering strength of schedule..." (Mike, laying out CFP criteria)
• 22:36 — "I call them wheels... Greg Abbott famously in a wheelchair." (Mike Ryan)
• 23:43 — "I offer my sincere apology. The Miami Department of War remains committed..." (Greg Cody, reading Mike's 'apology')
• 36:25 — "I love this program pretty much more than anything that isn't a human being on this planet. And I will die for this program if I have to." (Mike Ryan)
• 40:08 — "How do you get lost on the way to the office?" (Greg Cody about Greg Cody)
• 45:34 — "OKC is in a position where they might have through 20 games the best team anyone's ever seen." (Greg Cody)

Highlights (Timestamps)

• 02:28–15:32: Miami Hurricanes playoff debate: criteria, bias, and Texas Tech “threat.”
• 20:00–24:50: Governors copying Mike’s CFP tweets; “Wheels” gaffe and fake apology.
• 38:00–43:43: Greg Cody's navigation ordeal, text message roast, fantasy picks crisis.

Overall Tone & Vibe

Classic “Local Hour” controlled chaos—combative, hilarious, deeply personal, and always veering off in unexpected directions. The “war” for respect and the Canes' playoff spot is deadly serious for the crew (especially Mike), but always delivered with wink and warmth.

For New Listeners

You’ll leave this episode with a true sense of how South Florida sports passion blends with show-insider mayhem: expect less clean analytics, more “who knows ball,” and plenty of wild digressions about navigation apps and NBA drafts. Mike Ryan's Miami fanaticism shines, Greg Cody plays lovable foil, and even politicians can't escape their sports-take swirl.