Local Hour: Dan Le Batard Looks Like...

Summary

Summary of Episode: "Local Hour: Dan Le Batard Looks Like..."

Release Date: January 16, 2025

In the "Local Hour" episode of The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz, the hosts delve into a lively discussion centered around the upcoming college football national championship, team dynamics, coaching performances, and personal anecdotes. This detailed summary captures the essence of their conversations, highlighting key points, insightful debates, and humorous exchanges.

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1. Scheduling Confusion and Martin Luther King Day

The episode kicks off with Stugotz expressing frustration over the show's scheduling on Martin Luther King Day, leading to a humorous exchange about the significance of honoring the holiday versus covering major sports events.

• Stugotz (02:03): "I honestly can't believe I'm about to say what I'm about to say... I just learned that we've got a company holiday."

• Mike Ryan (02:35): "Every year I get an email or a Slack message asking, what are we doing for Martin Luther King Day... we've respected Martin Luther King Day for 15 years."

The hosts navigate the dilemma of balancing respect for important holidays with the demand for sports content, ultimately deciding to proceed with covering the national championship game.

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2. Notre Dame vs. Ohio State National Championship Discussion

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to analyzing the upcoming national championship game between Notre Dame and Ohio State. The hosts dissect team strategies, player performances, and coaching decisions, offering their predictions and opinions.

• Dan Le Batard (03:16): "I'm going to the national championship game."

• Stugotz (07:29): "Snow and 3 degrees below zero."

The discussion highlights the challenges both teams face, such as Notre Dame's left tackle issues and Ohio State's defensive strategies. The hosts also speculate on potential outcomes and the impact of weather conditions on the game.

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3. Al Golden's Coaching Performance

Al Golden, Notre Dame's head coach, becomes a focal point as the hosts evaluate his tenure and effectiveness. They critique his coaching decisions, appearance, and overall contribution to the team's performance.

• Mike Ryan (15:45): "He looks like a different person. Like the way that Greg Williams came back to the NFL. Al Golden looks borderline unrecognizable."

• Stugotz (25:44): "Al Golden was a clown in Miami, cared deeply, knew what he was doing, but failed miserably."

The conversation delves into Golden's past with the Miami program, his current role at Notre Dame, and the skepticism surrounding his ability to lead the team to victory in the championship.

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4. Personal Anecdotes and Humorous Exchanges

The hosts engage in light-hearted banter, sharing personal stories and teasing each other about appearances and past experiences. These segments add a playful tone to the episode, showcasing the camaraderie among the hosts.

• Dan Le Batard (19:00): "Sometimes you just have to dig really deep. And some days you do."

• Chris Cody (35:22): "Did you just tell me the year 2025 already makes me feel like I'm living in the future."

Stugotz also shares an amusing tale about a photo shoot mishap, prompting laughter and playful mockery from the other hosts.

• Stugotz (37:53): "There was a man in this... People magazine's 100 Most Eligible Bachelors who was on fire."

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5. Upcoming Content and Insider News

Towards the episode's conclusion, Stugotz hints at exclusive insider news related to the Miami Heat, creating anticipation among listeners. The hosts express eagerness to break the news ahead of official channels, emphasizing their commitment to delivering timely and impactful content.

• Stugotz (31:05): "Jeremy has Heat news that we haven't been able to get to. He's an inside information guy."

• Mike Ryan (34:01): "This show will have that news before anyone else."

This segment underscores the show's dedication to providing fresh and exclusive updates, reinforcing their role as a trusted source within the sports community.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Stugotz (02:03): "I want to work on Monday... I just learned that we've got a company holiday."

• Mike Ryan (07:25): "Is the weather going to be bad?"

• Dan Le Batard (16:28): "As a Notre Dame fan... I could think of 100 national championship matchups where I would be rooting for the asteroid too."

• Greg Cody (25:53): "Al Golden was like, here's how you beat Notre Dame."

• Stugotz (38:06): "I'm fine with this... People magazine wanted me coming out of the shower naked."

These quotes encapsulate the hosts' perspectives and the episode's dynamic energy, offering listeners a glimpse into the spirited discussions that define the show.

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Conclusion

In "Local Hour: Dan Le Batard Looks Like...", the hosts effectively blend in-depth sports analysis with personal stories and humor, delivering an engaging episode that appeals to both dedicated fans and casual listeners. Their candid conversations about team strategies, coaching performances, and behind-the-scenes anecdotes provide a comprehensive look into the world of college football, all while maintaining the show's signature entertaining vibe.

Transcript

[Dan Le Batard]

You're listening to Giraffe Kings Network.

[Stugotz]

Folks.

[Jessica]

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[Stugotz]

This is the Dan Levator show with the ST podcast. I can't. I honestly can't believe I'm about to say what I'm about to say I really can't. It just dawned on me because I was coming in and I am going to get out ahead of this, and I'm going to come out today and be against Martin Luther King Day on Monday, because I want to work on Monday. I want. I just learned that we've got a company holiday.

[Mike Ryan]

All right, I have a question. I have a question. How are you just learning this? Every year I get an email or a Slack message asking, what are we doing for Martin Luther King Day? And the answer is always the same thing we've done for 15 years is respect Martin Luther King Day. And plus, I want to watch the inauguration.

[Stugotz]

So that's going to be a Giant content day, and I was looking forward to it. I've not done this in the history of our company. Carl will tell you this. Not once. I don't have anything to do with the schedule on Thursday. I said to him, please make sure Jess is in here on Monday.

[Dan Le Batard]

I'm going to the national championship game.

[Jessica]

What are you talking about?

[Stugotz]

Please make sure that I can have her on the Notre Dame game. Please make sure that I can have the content of whatever that game is, because she's going to care about that game.

[Mike Ryan]

Your first ever big game preview. What is happening?

[Dan Le Batard]

What?

[Stugotz]

What is happening?

[Mike Ryan]

We're always off that day and the discussion is, well, there's. There's playoff games to discuss. I'm like, yeah, they'll be there to discuss on Tuesday. It's more Luther King Day.

[Dan Le Batard]

You always get mad when we do, like, any serious sports preview content.

[Jessica]

Could have ended that sentence a little earlier.

[Dan Le Batard]

Yeah, you always get mad.

[Mike Ryan]

She'll be there Tuesday. She'll be there Tuesday. That's the day you want her. We get to drink tears or celebrate with her. She gets to espouse the virtues of toughness. This is incredible.

[Dan Le Batard]

Tuesday, we could talk about Notre Dame's left tackle issues. Now I think Charles Jegus is going to start at left tackle. Knapp is out the jagua, which means Rocco Spindler's probably good to go at right guard.

[Mike Ryan]

Rocco Spindler, a very Italian team.

[Greg Cody]

Hardly know her.

[Dan Le Batard]

Steven Gelli's my favor because life is.

[Stugotz]

Moving very fast on me away from here. Forgive me for this. I thought I was asking for Jess on Monday after a national championship game for some reason that I had in my head on Sunday as a Giant football weekend that was pro in college. So not only did I not know it was Martin Luther King Day and then promptly come out against Martin Luther King Day, I also was putting a white woman to work on Martin Luther King Day and punishing her for not being able to go to the championship game on the wrong day. Because I didn't want to do a preview. I wanted to make sure we had you after the game, not before it.

[Mike Ryan]

Let me just get out in front of this one. President's Day holiday. We're not doing a show that day. Okay? Why? Because We've established for 15 years we haven't been doing that on that day.

[Stugotz]

I don't feel you guys honestly, correct me if I've got this wrong, because time and space have moved for me in a way that, that's been just disorienting and confusing. I can't quite keep up with the sports schedule. You all do know it's all sped up, right? There's more greed everywhere and like we're being bombarded with the. The ability to consume more at all time. And then.

[Dan Le Batard]

No, I, I'm. I'm with you.

[Mike Ryan]

I.

[Dan Le Batard]

Let's make this easy. Here's the divisional round schedule. Saturday, 4:30pm Eastern, Houston at Kansas City, 8pm on Fox. Washington at Detroit. Sunday, Louisiana at Philadelphia, 3pm NBC and Peacock. Sunday night, Baltimore at Buffalo, 6:30pm on CBS. Big, big ass game. National championship, as it has been for I don't know how many years.

[Stugotz]

Yeah, this one's Monday night. Yes, my bad. And forgive me, but it's never been.

[Mike Ryan]

This late in the calendar.

[Dan Le Batard]

That's true.

[Mike Ryan]

Which is new because this season's been long.

[Stugotz]

All I'm telling you is this. Look, this is a feeling. I will tell you this as someone you can. You guys have been talking recently about how even the inside the NBA guys don't seem to love sport. They don't. They like making the television, but what they're watching, they don't. All the jacked up threes. You got two guys who played in the Post who played Muscleball yesterday. We're talking on the show and Jessica offers us something. I had not considered that the Mailman, one of the great sports nicknames of all time, might actually be obsolete as a profession before it is as a nickname because it is an antique of a nickname. I came in thinking about Monday's show today because I want to talk about the things that are going to happen this weekend that people are really excited about. The reason that I haven't wanted to be doing all of these preview shows all of my life is because for the last 20 years, this thing has burnt me crisp on belching out content all the time around it. And I'm like Yeah, yeah, I get it. It's an important game that the Colts played against the Giants and neither of them knew how to handle it correctly. And that game changed the entirety of how. Now we are all interested in the stakes of this weekend and all of a sudden, just like we're fire experts on how it is we can handle what's happening in California better. We all know what it's going to be like to watch Buffalo and Baltimore play in conditions where human beings shouldn't be trying to do athletic things.

[Mike Ryan]

Is the weather going to be bad?

[Stugotz]

Snow and 3 degrees below zero.

[Greg Cody]

That's everything I want for that game.

[Mike Ryan]

Yeah, because it guarantees the quarterbacks are going to be running more. And we like it when those two quarterbacks run more.

[Stugotz]

Is that what you guys want? Because I want that game badly. But I was hoping to see that game where I wouldn't be able to do the Monday show. Oh, Lamar choked. He only got 13 points because the wind was blowing the ball around.

[Mike Ryan]

I love that the weather's going to be bad for that because it's going to require those two quarterbacks to take their game to an obscene level. This is going to be great. Juliet's going to bet at 650. Team.

[Stugotz]

So you're literally. Is this how many? Six. Wait a minute.

[Jessica]

I already told my wife the same thing.

[Stugotz]

Are we not. Wait, hold on.

[Chris Cody]

Where?

[Jessica]

That show kids are stupid. You could just tell them it's 8:30.

[Mike Ryan]

Wait, we are stupid. It's getting darker early.

[Stugotz]

We are now the show that has grown into having so many kids that we literally put the kids to bed early.

[Mike Ryan]

She's not ruining this for me.

[Stugotz]

Before a 630Bills, you're putting the kids to bed.

[Dan Le Batard]

Before a 630Bills raised my parents to bed. We're going to be in Atlanta. I'm going to say early dinner. You guys go back to the hotel. Me and Lehman, we gotta go to a bar. We gotta watch this game, tell my wife.

[Mike Ryan]

You know what? Go watch Netflix in the bedroom. I need to be alone for this.

[Stugotz]

So, Jess, this is the problem that I had as I came in today, wanting to make sure that we get the most inspired of content. It is refreshing to see something around here that isn't University of Miami and Jimmy Butler come to life with real roaring, inspired fandom, where you're being soothed by the mothers of the players in the stands because you get the joyride of a lifetime. Play for a championship, be around the team, be seen publicly as one of the coolest things we've Birthed around here. You are. People now know you as something that's associated with that football team. Football team adjacent. You're going to the game. You went to New Orleans. You. You came back battered.

[Mike Ryan]

You haven't thanked us yet.

[Stugotz]

I wanted you to be on after the game. And I'm hoping to bask in you wearing a crown because you're a national champion. Like, I'd love to have our show have something be adjacent to that and feel like it did with the Panthers.

[Dan Le Batard]

Like it did. You may be alone on that one. Lucy and I will have a new gen CFB this week in which I talked about a little bit of my. My thought process going into the game. Best case scenario, Notre Dame wins. I retire from my job. I move to an island somewhere. You never hear from me again. My life's work is complete. Love that for you, it's over. I have nothing to live for. I'll just paint, like, pictures or make greeting cards. I don't know, like, do one of my life's passions somewhere. I don't need. I don't need anything anymore. I'm happy. I'm content. My soul's complete. Or Notre Dame loses. They're the second best team in the country this year. I keep doing what I'm doing. Either way, I'm a happy little clam.

[Mike Ryan]

And my life has renewed meaning.

[Stugotz]

So I think you underestimate how you might feel both ways on Tuesday, or what I thought was Monday, which made me against Martin Luther King Day, because I want the content of this. I'm down for the idea, Jessica, of making the stakes something similar to that, where if they actually win, you get some sort of metal arc bonus package that sends you off to an island somewhere for. For a couple of days to be the champion, queen of Notre Dame or whatever. Like Jess wins a trip of her choosing as the champion, as the public sportsman for Notre Dame, when it's very much us against the world, just terrible negotiation.

[Jessica]

And do Roy, Mike and I get something for this Panthers championship?

[Stugotz]

That happened a few months, Josh.

[Jessica]

I mean, what are we doing here? We? To keep our job, and she gets a bonus vacation.

[Mike Ryan]

Yeah, that seems fair.

[Dan Le Batard]

Yeah.

[Stugotz]

Look, she's doing the brave thing. This show's been us against the world for a long time. Nobody's rooting for Notre Dame except Notre Dame. Who the hell's rooting for Notre Dame?

[Greg Cody]

Apparently, Jesus. According to Riley Leonard, Jesus is.

[Dan Le Batard]

Well, he said so. If you've been following this football season, Ohio State's players have been extremely, like, vocal about being Religious. And so Riley Leonard as well, and he made a comment yesterday, he was like, God's been on our side this season. We're the two most vocally religious teams. And look, we're in the national championship game. Some people obviously took offense to that. Some people were like, that's awesome. I don't know.

[Greg Cody]

I just know Jesus hates Texas and Penn State.

[Jessica]

It's a God off.

[Stugotz]

But why don't.

[Mike Ryan]

Colorado's also religious. It's not all puppy dogs and ice cream.

[Stugotz]

So why don't you know though, Jessica, like, where do you stand on this? Because Cody, I never got to this because we were riding the joyride of Greg Cody. A prime times performance this week by Greg Cody. Back to the old days. And so I never was able to get to this part with you. Greg Cody believes that America believes that they would like for Ohio State and Notre Dame to play each other on Monday night and for both of them to lose. That what America is watching on Monday is hate watching. It's like everyone here lose and then you make sports a religious war because they are the two most religious teams at a time where the presidency is surrounded in a religious war. And Donald Trump holds a Bible upside down because he's so religious and the things that he hides sides in the Bible. Then we can turn the sports thing into Greg Cody is here. I wouldn't mind hearing from him on this. He thinks both teams want to lose and both teams should lose. And I think he's on the right side of how America feels about it.

[Dan Le Batard]

Yeah, I think like a lot of people have been writing like, is Notre Dame likable now takes. Which I get what we're doing with that. That's like a hey, Brian Kelly's not their head coach anymore. The new head coach is actually like, seems like a nice guy. I think fans of either team. If I want. I may speak for Ohio State fans. They don't really care if people like them. They just want to win the football game. So like there I could think of 100 national championship matchups where I would be rooting for the asteroid too. And that doesn't really offend me as a Notre Dame fan, as I think Mike Ryan wouldn't be offended if we were like, ew, Miami and Ohio State disgusting. I don't want one of these teams to win. You'd be like, yeah, haha, suck it. I'm in the game.

[Mike Ryan]

Yeah. And also you lean in Ohio against the world, embrace villainy, hate us because.

[Dan Le Batard]

Exactly. So like, doesn't bother me.

[Stugotz]

You Guys are doing that, though, with an indifference. And what I'm telling you is when you talk about regional prides and the stuff that college football taps into, do you guys not understand that the indifference of, hey, Ohio State's a nine half point favorite. That conference kind of dragged the sec. That that conference has kind of taken the top of the sport from the sec. It is us against the world. It's it. It is a situation where Ohio State is feeling what Miami Heat fans felt. What? I don't know if.

[Mike Ryan]

No, Notre Dame's basically ACC adjacent.

[Dan Le Batard]

No, no. Again. On gen cfb, Lucy said, I consider Notre Dame spiritually Big Ten. And I threw up on my sweatshirt when she said that. No, spiritually, Notre Dame is nothing.

[Mike Ryan]

If anything, they're partially accol.

[Dan Le Batard]

I guess, technically, but not in a conference.

[Stugotz]

Is Jen Phillips sucks. Is anything. Is anyone going to be watching Monday.

[Mike Ryan]

Agnostically, honestly, like, I've just knows this. Like, I've kind of been on Notre Dame for a couple of months now. I love their style of play, love how they rebounded against Northern Illinois. And there's a lot of reasons to hate Notre Dame. Historical rivalry with Miami out Golden, stupid face. But I got. I'll be damned. I like this Notre Dame team. I like the way that they play. It's old school. They are gutsy. They are tough. I know that that was a big discussion last week, but I was marveling at their ability to climb back into that game. They had every reason to quit in that game and everybody would brush their hands off and say, that's a great season. You overachieved.

[Dan Le Batard]

I do want to go back to something I said last Friday, which was like, they, they played bad in the first half and then they just like played tough in the second half. Every coordinator after the game was like, yeah, we didn't really make any halftime adjustments. Like, we just played like, Al golden was like, we just played better in the second half. So that corny analysis was accurate. And I will say one more thing. Al golden has done such a good job at Notre Dame. I know several people that are like, no, he is the hot coach of the football team. They love him. They love his glasses. They love his rosy cheeks.

[Mike Ryan]

He's got like early onset Paterno. He looks like a different person. Like the way that Greg Williams came back to the NFL. Al golden looks borderline unrecognizable. It's not just a necktie. Like, he looks like an older man now. And have you seen him be. Have you seen him be interviewed like, they bass him, hey, you're a leading candidate for the Cincinnati Bengals. D.C. and he's like, huh? I haven't left the building. And I believe him. I feel like he hasn't left that building since he signed there.

[Dan Le Batard]

I think that's true. But going back to your point, Dan, like, if my kid said, I hate Notre Dame with a burning passion, I want them to lose by 60 points. I want them to have the most embarrassing game ever, I would be like, that's fair. I get that.

[Mike Ryan]

I also hate Ohio State, like, a lot. Because of, you know, the Fiesta Bowl. So, yeah, there's. There's. I've seen Ohio State win national championships. I haven't. I haven't seen Notre Dame win a championship in my lifetime. The last time they won a national championship, the radios were tinny. I was all like, choppy shack are going down the sideline.

[Dan Le Batard]

Weren't you born in the 80s? You were probably like 6 years old.

[Mike Ryan]

I don't remember them, actually. Not a. Come on. Not the co Championships. No one recognizes that.

[Jessica]

Mike, you just gave me the idea.

[Dan Le Batard]

1988.

[Jessica]

I know how this game needs to end.

[Mike Ryan]

It was three.

[Jessica]

It needs to end with Notre Dame winning on a questionable pass interference call.

[Mike Ryan]

Yeah, I'm down for that. Down for that.

[Dan Le Batard]

You know who's really in a pickle right now? Michigan fans. I've heard several different, different. Sorry. You have a little schmutz on your face. It distracted me first.

[Mike Ryan]

I'm sorry. Is it a booger?

[Dan Le Batard]

No, it's like a little fuzz on the other side. It looks like a bug, actually. I don't think it's a bug.

[Mike Ryan]

That'd be horrible, cuz.

[Dan Le Batard]

Michigan fan. I got it. It was a little fuzzy. Michigan fans, they don't want Ohio State to win, obviously. But then at the same time, they're like, well, Ohio State wins. We've won. We've beaten the best Ohio State team in like a decade. And so that means, like, we're actually the best. But then at the same time, they're like, if Ohio's Michigan. Michigan finally won the national championship last year, and then Ohio State comes along. They're like, what? Like, it's hard. Like, you don't want them to win. They're hated.

[Mike Ryan]

Rival Dana just. I saw like one of these things like, be bandied about on the Internet, like, well, the expanded playoff makes like the regular season meaningless, and it makes upsets like Northern Illinois super meaningless. I'm like, what are you talking about? Can you imagine if Notre Dame actually wins the Championship. That Northern Illinois upset lives forever.

[Dan Le Batard]

Oh, my God. All the championship penance with like the scores of every game. And this NAU 16 to 14. That would be amazing. I said this last week and I stand by it. If Notre Dame wins the national championship, Thomas Hammack gets a ring. Gets a ring? Yeah, he gets a ring, I'll give him a statue.

[Mike Ryan]

Yeah, that narcissist.

[Dan Le Batard]

And he'll have the second best.

[Mike Ryan]

You know what he did right after, after he beat Marcus Freeman, he's like, hey, I'd love to give you some tips on how we beat you. And he like, gave him like the whole playbook. And then Notre Dame's been damn near unstoppable since then.

[Chris Cody]

Oh, well, that's not.

[Mike Ryan]

It's been. It's a little unfair.

[Dan Le Batard]

Thomas Hammack was like, here's how you. Here's how you beat Notre Dame. Have Riley Leonard have the worst game ever as a starting quarterback.

[Chris Cody]

It's like, it's like the. These analysis after the Penn State game.

[Stugotz]

Right?

[Chris Cody]

Just like, play harder and like. Oh, thanks, thanks. I appreciate that.

[Mike Ryan]

I find that refreshing. No, no, convoluted, you know. Well, we started spying. None of that. No, no, we just, you know, we just executed.

[Dan Le Batard]

Yeah, laugh at it, but like, sometimes I don't know if you've ever been in an athletic pursuit. Sometimes you just, you know, you have to dig really deep. And some days you do. Some days. Some days I run a nine minute mile and I'm slow as shit and I feel like, asshole.

[Chris Cody]

What's happening?

[Dan Le Batard]

Some days I dig deep. What's seven and a half?

[Chris Cody]

What's happening on those dialogues?

[Dan Le Batard]

It's mental. It's totally mental.

[Chris Cody]

What's going on? Give me the dialogue.

[Dan Le Batard]

You're slow as shit, you complete asshole. Run faster, you dumbass. This shouldn't this. I'm really mean to myself.

[Chris Cody]

Do you answer? Do you ever answer inside your head? Because I have.

[Stugotz]

I have. Yeah.

[Dan Le Batard]

I'm like, oh, I just worked out yesterday.

[Jessica]

You. You.

[Chris Cody]

That's what I wanted.

[Dan Le Batard]

And then when I'm running fast, I'm like, I'm unstoppable. I'm the fastest man in the whole world. No one can stop me. I'm so good at this. I'm so good at running. And then there's like seven people zooming by me.

[Stugotz]

Rage, running and loving yourself at the same time. I have a lot that I want to throw back at you guys because. Chris, do we have Sound of Mike doing Chubby Checker? The last time that, that Chubby Checker ran down the sidelines. I don't know if we have that sound, but I. I do want to ask the audience.

[Greg Cody]

No, I'm not Bane Misogynist Bane is.

[Chris Cody]

The voice in her head who tells.

[Dan Le Batard]

Her that she's not even be allowed to run. Our uteruses will fall out. Oh, it won't, I think. Is that even a thing?

[Jeremy]

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[Jessica]

Smirnoff I love it. Smirnoff knows there's no I in football. It's a we thing best enjoyed with good drinks and great company. Homer away. We rally together, cry together and always rally. Cry together. Because there's no I in fandom. Smirnoff, the world's number one vodka, is perfect for easy, delicious cocktails for fans over 21. As the official vodka partner of the NFL, Smirnoff's award winning taste has been igniting the collective spirit since 1864. Grab a bottle of Smirnoff at your local retailer and head to smirnoff.com to find recipes of delicious cocktails perfect for game day. Please drink responsibly. Smirnoff number 21 VOD distilled from grain 40% alcohol volume. The Smirnoff Company New York, NY please do not share with anyone under legal drinking age.

[Greg Cody]

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[Stugotz]

LeBatard but it's just his titties are sitting on the shelf that is his belly stugats.

[Mike Ryan]

He said titties like shocked me a little bit. I wasn't quite prepared for titties.

[Stugotz]

This is the Dan Levatar show with the st. Put it on the poll, please. Does Al golden have early onset Paterno? Because Al Golden, I have to explain to the audience, you don't understand how confusing it is to be somebody who hoped that Miami could build these championship dreams. And Al golden came to town with a tie, an orange tie and a binder on how it is he was going to fix Miami and get them to all these things we're talking about faster than anybody because he was given the keys to the kingdom long before Mario Cristobal and he drove the program and wearing that tie the entire time, sweaty on the sidelines all the time, cared deeply, was a young man when he was here and the job did that to him, has turned him into a mutant with early on, said Paterno, because Al golden was a clown in Miami, cared deeply, knew what he was doing, but failed miserably. Everybody ran him out of town and now he's trying to climb back up into coaching and he's done so at Notre Dame, bringing the rah rah. Man, he gave and gives great coach.

[Mike Ryan]

Oh dude, I watched that press conference again last week when he was asked like, so why did you take this job? And he goes, you kidding me? Oh man, I love that guy so much. And I think, look, he's been very good behind the scenes, almost too good. And a little disingenuous about like not knowing the full scope of the sanctions. It's completely untrue. He knew, but he's very good at putting that out there that he didn't know so much so that he's convinced everybody of this, even though it's completely untrue. And he knew everything that was going to happen. But he was young enough, and we've seen coaches fail their first time. The greatest head coach of all time had a head coaching job in Cleveland. Didn't go great. Became the greatest head coach of all time. He's done so much, and you can learn from your failures, and Al golden has certainly done that. And, dude, this guy was like, coaching tight ends for the Bengals like he was an afterthought. It never felt like that guy would amount to anything.

[Dan Le Batard]

Linebackers coach.

[Mike Ryan]

Well, no, no, no. He went from tight ends and then he went to linebacker and then.

[Dan Le Batard]

Cause he was on the Bengals team that played in the Super Bowl, I believe.

[Mike Ryan]

Yeah, I think. I think at that point he might have switched. And now that's how he got the defensive.

[Stugotz]

We laughed him out of town. Relieved.

[Mike Ryan]

Dude, his final act was dabo, like, sunning him at midfield. One of the more embarrassing results in program history.

[Chris Cody]

58. 0 that game.

[Mike Ryan]

Yeah.

[Dan Le Batard]

He was like, what, 40 when Miami hired him to be the head coach. Like he was a head coach at Temple and then came to Miami. And you're saying that he knew Miami was on pro double secret probation. Whatever.

[Mike Ryan]

Whatever the hell I'm saying behind the scenes is very good at convincing people that he didn't know the full scope of the sanctions when it's not totally true.

[Chris Cody]

Al golden is in his 50s.

[Mike Ryan]

He's like, these things suck up on me. It's not exactly accurate, but it's okay, man. Like, at the end of the day, you're the dc, But I don't know.

[Dan Le Batard]

I wasn't. I was like, in middle school when this happened.

[Chris Cody]

So he looks like he's like 70.

[Mike Ryan]

Yeah. I don't know what's happening. Like, it's wild. Al golden now. Yeah, it's wild.

[Chris Cody]

He looks old.

[Dan Le Batard]

He looks younger than Dan.

[Chris Cody]

No, he does. How dare you?

[Stugotz]

How dare you?

[Mike Ryan]

No, he doesn't. That's just a clean shape.

[Stugotz]

I want side by side photos of me and Al golden immediately because you're telling me the point. I was about to make.

[Mike Ryan]

Jessica.

[Stugotz]

The point. No, you know what? No, Jessica, it's okay. I deserve it.

[Dan Le Batard]

But Dan looks young. That was my point.

[Stugotz]

Jessica.

[Dan Le Batard]

Jessica, dan doesn't look 70.

[Chris Cody]

Not a kick save in a view.

[Stugotz]

Jessica, I swear to you that you rage running and taking me inside the thoughts on wherever it is you're meanest to yourself. Like, I'm fine. Whatever the last three. Three years has done to you being in the middle of this slop. University of Miami, people yelling at you about how much more special University of Miami time is than Notre Dame time. Because we wear the scars of those wars. Back when Mike's allegiances were made. Even though he didn't go to the school. Because Miami fighting Notre Dame was the top of the sport. And that was amazing fun. I. I need to celebrate the fact that Notre Dame is here because the stakes for them. I can't believe that what I'm about to say. What I'm about to say. We laughed Al golden out of town. We laughed Dan Campbell out of town. That laughing hardened those men. And now one of them looks like Al golden and one of them looks like Dan Campbell. Because the sport will do that to you. It's stresses will do that to you. Climbing to where Marcus Freeman looks beautiful atop the sport.

[Mike Ryan]

You do look older than.

[Chris Cody]

That's not a good thing.

[Greg Cody]

Sorry.

[Mike Ryan]

You have to get the glasses and him looking over his glasses on like. Huh?

[Stugotz]

What?

[Jessica]

This almost looks like you am Al Golden.

[Chris Cody]

They picked the best version of Al golden as a photo.

[Dan Le Batard]

That's what he looks like.

[Mike Ryan]

I try to protect you, Dan. I'll get one of him looking really old.

[Chris Cody]

Mike's right.

[Dan Le Batard]

That's from this week. This is from the Orange Bowl.

[Chris Cody]

Doesn't matter. Mike's right. When he wears the glasses, he looks like. It looks like Mr. Magoo.

[Mike Ryan]

Yeah. Early on set. Paterno.

[Dan Le Batard]

Then we need a glasses photo of Dan to go next to it.

[Mike Ryan]

Yeah.

[Stugotz]

Oh.

[Chris Cody]

What?

[Stugotz]

Damn.

[Jessica]

And just put your glasses.

[Dan Le Batard]

And also you're moving the goalposts. You never said glasses. No glass.

[Mike Ryan]

I never pretended to not be.

[Chris Cody]

We're gonna do this fair. Dan. Put on your glasses right now.

[Jessica]

You got to.

[Chris Cody]

Dan, put on the glasses.

[Stugotz]

I will. Dan.

[Chris Cody]

Don't talk. Put on the glasses. Put on the glasses. Don't say a word. Put it on the glasses.

[Mike Ryan]

He looks really old there. He looks like, you know, Christopher Walken and Blast from the past.

[Dan Le Batard]

He looks weird.

[Chris Cody]

How dare you?

[Mike Ryan]

That's early onset Paterno. We'd all agree he looks like that.

[Dan Le Batard]

Means that has a different kind of taste.

[Mike Ryan]

Not the really bad way. Guys. Don't make this more awkward.

[Jessica]

Dan doesn't have his glasses on. I can't tell. He looks older.

[Stugotz]

I will get to putting my game would speak up. Okay.

[Dan Le Batard]

I only made the comparison because they're the same age. Okay.

[Chris Cody]

You still got the Moakleys.

[Stugotz]

Jessica.

[Mike Ryan]

I hope he would.

[Stugotz]

Jessica. I swear you have not insulted me.

[Chris Cody]

I'm insulting.

[Dan Le Batard]

I have And I feel bad about Dan.

[Chris Cody]

I'm insulted. Oh, no, I'm insulted on your behalf.

[Stugotz]

Okay.

[Mike Ryan]

That was the picture I was hoping for, though.

[Stugotz]

I would like the help of the group. Okay, this is what I wish for. The crescendo of whatever this is to be, I want it to be a golden off. I want two pictures on the screen of your choosing. Whatever unfairness or fairness the video department wants to put together right now. What the sport has done to Al golden, it has also done to be here, to be adjacent to those sports and try and build a media machine. And that too has aged me. And my brother died. My face got gray very fast.

[Dan Le Batard]

But we saw the will for clip yesterday. You look better now.

[Mike Ryan]

Oh, way better. Yeah.

[Stugotz]

Okay, thank you.

[Mike Ryan]

Because of all the grief weight that you lost?

[Dan Le Batard]

No.

[Jessica]

Great.

[Chris Cody]

I mean, hell, what are you guys doing?

[Mike Ryan]

What?

[Chris Cody]

Why are you doing this?

[Mike Ryan]

I mean, there's the occasional, like, happy byproduct.

[Chris Cody]

Look, I. Dan, I'm offended on you.

[Stugotz]

I ate my feelings and my cortisol shot up and deathbed stuff is gruesome for 10 months. Thanks, Mike, for doing that. But I want you guys to put a picture of me up at my worst, if you wish, because I want to have a contest here.

[Jessica]

Or your best.

[Chris Cody]

That is your worst.

[Mike Ryan]

You look better now than you did in that. Like, that is by far one of the worst photos ever seen.

[Chris Cody]

Man, I'm sticking up for you here.

[Mike Ryan]

But come on, man, you look better now.

[Chris Cody]

You're not giving me ammo here.

[Mike Ryan]

We were talking to you in the back. You have a literal silver lining on your mouth.

[Stugotz]

Okay, you know, it's totally fair. And I'd like to stay here.

[Jessica]

You look like if Chris Penn got sick.

[Stugotz]

He's dead. He's dead.

[Mike Ryan]

Sicker.

[Jessica]

Yeah.

[Stugotz]

Than dead. You think I look sicker than Chris Penn after he died?

[Mike Ryan]

You have, like. I can't. You have, like, south park teeth. I can't describe it any. Any better.

[Stugotz]

Okay, you know what?

[Jessica]

Oh, no.

[Stugotz]

Come on, man.

[Mike Ryan]

Hey.

[Chris Cody]

How dare all you people, man. This man is an economy, you know?

[Stugotz]

How dare you? No, look, I will travel this path, wherever it is that everyone wishes to take it. And may Jessica be able to mock here forevermore. Please play this game with me at the end of this segment. I've got a couple of different things happening because Jeremy is. Look, Jeremy hasn't said anything he. I shouldn't. Well, okay, just. But Jeremy has Breaking Heat news that we haven't been able to get to. He's an inside information guy. He's Got news that no one else has that he can break right now, but he can't tell me what it is. And he's like, it's fun. It's fun news. It's good news. And I'm like, you have Heat news? And I'm like, yes. And I'm like, well, let's do it. And he's like, no, we've got to embargo it. And I'm like, what? We're Heat. We're. We're bought and paid for. Like the rest of the Heat media. We've got to embargo things. We're doing the Heat favors now. Like, if we've got news, we break news. If we've got news, we break news. Like what? We vetted it. We know that the news is news. And you're in. You're an insider, and we have the news. We haven't been able to get to it. It. When can I get to it? Because I want to betray the Miami Heat. I wish to. I wish to break this news before the Miami Heat wishes to have this news broken.

[Greg Cody]

Let me triple confirm on this news, make sure that I have enough sources to guarantee that everything I'm going to be reporting is real. But you know what, Dan? You're right. I don't want to be viewed as a Heat mouthpiece either. Oh, maybe. Maybe we break this news a little early.

[Chris Cody]

Wait a second. You got a job to worry about. And I'm not talking about the one here. You work there.

[Mike Ryan]

Yeah.

[Greg Cody]

I mean, I'm not gonna betray anybody.

[Stugotz]

But you know I am. So wait a minute.

[Greg Cody]

You wanna betray people?

[Stugotz]

Yes.

[Greg Cody]

Including me?

[Stugotz]

Yes.

[Jeremy]

Yes.

[Stugotz]

Yes.

[Chris Cody]

And especially you.

[Stugotz]

Yes. Mostly you. Yes. But also, I'm not comfortable with how it is that I have staked my national reputation on. I. I am Miami Heat adjacent. I'm a homer. I'm journalistically bought. And then that births Mike ryan in the LeBron years, and he's bought and Parakeet Cortez, and he's bought and a yet more extreme and more extreme bought Heat media member. And you represent either the best or the worst of that evolution where you're hiding news on behalf of. Of the Miami Heat. I don't work for the Miami Heat. You have.

[Greg Cody]

Well, neither do I.

[Stugotz]

Well, okay, technically, so. So I want that news. If you have the news, if it's vetted, if we're a news organization or a network, and if I don't want to be a Heat mouthpiece, I wish to break the news. You have.

[Mike Ryan]

Dan, rest easy. This show will have that news before anyone else.

[Greg Cody]

We will be first. I can promise you that.

[Mike Ryan]

We will be first. And I know the. This embargo that's kind of in place. We're going to bypass that approximately 10 seconds before the embargo is lifted. Wow.

[Jessica]

You hear that, Barry Jackson?

[Stugotz]

Ten seconds.

[Dan Le Batard]

Hear that, kid? Reporters.

[Stugotz]

No. Okay, how much time do we have? When's it been embargoed to. Because I want to break that rule now. You guys are just being kind to the heat. You don't. You want to make sure.

[Mike Ryan]

20 seconds.

[Greg Cody]

Oh, man.

[Mike Ryan]

20 seconds early.

[Greg Cody]

20 seconds is a long time in social media world.

[Jessica]

I think the new is breaking at 10 o'clock. In 10 seconds.

[Mike Ryan]

I think by that time we beat the YouTube delay.

[Stugotz]

I will naturally break that story in seconds. But getting back to whether I look worse than Chris Penn getting sick after he's dead. Getting sick after he's dead. Getting sick.

[Dan Le Batard]

I don't know who that is. So if I laughed, that was.

[Stugotz]

You don't know who Chris Penn is? Well, Chris, Sean Penn is Sean Penn's brother.

[Greg Cody]

Yes.

[Stugotz]

And he was in Reservoir Dogs. That's his most. Is that his most famous role?

[Chris Cody]

He was in Rush Hour. He was a guy in jail who sold the C4. I don't want to touch that, cuz you're going to have my fingerprints on that. That guy. No.

[Stugotz]

What is Chris Penn's most famous role?

[Mike Ryan]

I say, I say it's Rush hour in terms of like commercial success.

[Stugotz]

Put it on the poll at Lebaton show Chris Penn's most famous role. Reservoir Dogs or Rush Hour.

[Dan Le Batard]

It's more disrespectful that I said I didn't know who he was than laughing at the mean joke.

[Chris Cody]

Absolutely.

[Dan Le Batard]

Okay.

[Mike Ryan]

Jessica, he's been dead for like 20 years.

[Stugotz]

Jessica, this, this is what I'm telling you is that this is not a mean joke. That since I've been on television, I've been compared to visually two people. Chris Penn and Flounder from Animal House Facially. Jessica, you're finding that too funny. The woman who's rage running, saying, being a mean saying. You saying the things you say to.

[Dan Le Batard]

Yourself comedically is a funny fish. Okay?

[Jessica]

Is there any Oliver Platt in there?

[Mike Ryan]

There is. He's. He's being omitted. Oli.

[Chris Cody]

Yeah. I mean, look, I'm on your side, Dan, but damn, I'm.

[Stugotz]

I'm fine with this. I've endured the scars of 20 years. Look, man, when I appeared on television, I was a pioneer for fat people. I was, I was representation.

[Mike Ryan]

I Think Oprah. Oprah. Then you.

[Stugotz]

I opened the door to Wind Horse Worldwide. That was not allowed.

[Mike Ryan]

That's a different flounder.

[Jessica]

A different flounder.

[Stugotz]

Wrong flounder. So. So I. I wear the scars. And when I'm meanest to myself, I'm mean to flounder.

[Mike Ryan]

Yeah, you represent. Like, you represent so little, but so many.

[Stugotz]

So much to.

[Mike Ryan]

No.

[Stugotz]

So many with so much.

[Mike Ryan]

No, I said so little on purpose.

[Stugotz]

Okay? It's my scar. Allow me to play with it. I've been fat on television for 20 years.

[Greg Cody]

People have been telling me I look like. Like you, Dan. Like a young you. So that might be worse.

[Jessica]

I'm sorry, man.

[Mike Ryan]

Better get that shit fixed.

[Greg Cody]

It's not great.

[Stugotz]

Well, young me, broadcasting legend, me begins. You guys can find the bowels of that if you want. My. I think my youngest Internet photo would be covering you. Donnis Haslam in high school, I think. The Miami Herald high school sports show, I think is me stiff. And my friends now, my college friends do an impersonation of me from back then, and it's, wow, what a play. Because I didn't know how to be a broadcaster.

[Chris Cody]

It's like, he's right here in front.

[Stugotz]

Of us, right here. He's grown up all bloated, all fat. On your television for 30 years. Really?

[Mike Ryan]

What do you think is the best photo you've ever taken? And not just for, like, laughs, but, like, how you look. The Speedo one. You don't look bad in that one. That one? Yeah. The Most eligible bachelor 1.

[Dan Le Batard]

How old are you in this spot?

[Jessica]

What's going on with the face?

[Mike Ryan]

31. Is he taking his shit on a pool table?

[Chris Cody]

Cause he's on a pool table. That's what makes him look great, right? It's like, look, you know what?

[Greg Cody]

Like, here's the thing.

[Chris Cody]

Like, most people are like, oh, you guys play on this device. I sit on it, I squat on it. That's how I do it. Cause I'm eligible. Ladies who want some of this.

[Mike Ryan]

You were barefoot on this pool table.

[Stugotz]

If I may, that story, you guys have no earthly idea, okay, what it is you've now opened, that is just a real sneak peek into some of my real vulnerabilities where there is maximum shame. Like, you guys are going to basically right now see me naked because People magazine wanted me coming out of the shower naked.

[Chris Cody]

No.

[Mike Ryan]

Why would they want that?

[Stugotz]

Okay, listen to me. There was a man in this. There was a stuntman, and People magazine's 100 Most Eligible Bachelors who was on Fire. There was a man, you know, he was on fire because he was a stuntman. They made three requests of me. This was the least bad of the three. The only one willing. I was willing to do. However, while I was doing it.

[Chris Cody]

What were the other two requests?

[Stugotz]

Go back. Yes, of course. I mean, I know how to do my own show. Yes, yes. I'm right here. I'm doing. He's here. I'm in the middle of doing it. Yes.

[Mike Ryan]

I have this shirt, by the way.

[Stugotz]

Listen to me. I wore that shirt because it was in that magazine for about nine years after that because it's the only shirt I've ever looked good in.

[Mike Ryan]

That's like one of the most 90s. Can we put that shirt back up there? Is it a long sleeve? Is it a short sleeve? Is it a. Is it a turtle?

[Greg Cody]

Is it a mock turtle?

[Dan Le Batard]

It's a mock turtle. Like, that was hot back then.

[Stugotz]

So 90s.

[Dan Le Batard]

And it's back now. I saw Matt Ryan wearing one on CBS this weekend. Dan.

[Mike Ryan]

He dyes his hair now.

[Chris Cody]

Let Dan finish the story.

[Stugotz]

Thank you.

[Mike Ryan]

It's.

[Chris Cody]

We're listening.

[Stugotz]

So I am really vulnerable here, as I probably don't need to tell you. Really. We're gonna do a People magazine photo shoot, and you guys are making pretty ridiculous requests. Okay, I'll do. I guess I'll do that one. I'll squat on the pool table. There's a camera crew there. People magazine is throwing money at whatever this ridiculous photo is. My front door opens, and with a laundry bag of dry cleaning coming home, my roommate at the time in a home, Cubs announcer John Boog Shambi.

[Dan Le Batard]

No way.

[Stugotz]

Sees his friend and roommate in the middle of a photo shoot and says, what the you doing squatting on the pool table?

[Mike Ryan]

Get your feet off the pool table.

[Stugotz]

That's incredible.

[Mike Ryan]

He had no idea this was happening?

[Stugotz]

No.

[Mike Ryan]

That's stunning. To walk in on.

[Stugotz]

He came home to that.

[Dan Le Batard]

Was he also an eligible bachelor? Because that. That's.

[Stugotz]

Do you think he'd be jealous there? No, because he's only mocked me for it for the rest of my life. He walked right into the center of. I shouldn't be doing this, but this seems like a decent way to not be single and date. No.

[Chris Cody]

He's got a confession.

[Greg Cody]

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[Chris Cody]

Set for your flight?

[Stugotz]

Yep. I've got everything I need. Eye mask, neck pillow, T Mobile, headphones. Wait.

[Dan Le Batard]

T Mobile?

[Stugotz]

You bet. Free in flight wi fi 15 off all Hilton brands. I never go anywhere without T Mobile. Same goes from a water bottle, chewing gum, nail clippers. We're gonna leave you to it.

[Jeremy]

Find out how you can experience travel.

[Stugotz]

Better@T mobile.com Travel qualifying plan required.

[Greg Cody]

Wi Fi were available on select US airlines.

[Stugotz]

Deposit and Hilton honors membership required for 15. Discount terms and conditions apply.