Local Hour: Dan's Car Alarm (feat. Widespread Panic)

Summary

Podcast Summary

Podcast: The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Episode: Local Hour: Dan's Car Alarm (feat. Widespread Panic)
Date: January 7, 2026
Setting: Elser Hotel, Downtown Miami

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Overview

This Local Hour episode brings Dan Le Batard, Stugotz, and the usual cast together for a lively mix of sports—especially college football—media hijinks, Miami-centric banter, and a series of comic mishaps. The show jumps between a viral "studio undressing" incident, Miami Hurricanes football analysis, major college sports storylines, and the chaotic new world of NIL and transfer portal. The hosts’ chemistry, self-deprecating humor, and layered local knowledge make for an episode that’s as playful as it is insightful.

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Key Topics & Discussion Points

1. The Zaslow Green Room Fiasco

Timestamps: 00:30–07:42

• Zaslow is caught on studio cameras undressing in what he believed was a private green room. Chris Cody discovers the situation and (helpfully) alerts everyone.
• The crew riff on HR violations, privacy, and the unintended voyeurism of workplace cameras.
• Notable Quote:
  • “Chris Cody actually said ‘He’s taking his shirt off. I hope he doesn’t take his pants off. My God, he’s taking his pants off!’” —Dan (06:02)
• There’s collective embarrassment, with Zaslow self-consciously asking if the footage will air.
• The conversation devolves into wrestling references and playful fines for botching wrestler names.

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2. Greg Cody’s Pen Feud & “Lockeroom Penmanship”

Timestamps: 07:43–12:32

• Dan prompts Greg Cody about an old “feud” with Richie Rosenblatt—a fellow sportswriter who was allegedly refused a pen by Cody in a freezing Buffalo locker room.
• Greg downplays it, but the crew teases the outdated nature of using pens in modern reporting.
• They challenge Greg to transcribe Dan’s speech at live speed, testing his “shorthand” skills with a telestrator, leading to comic doodles.
• Notable Quote:
  • “How do you read it after?” —Chris Cody (09:49)
  • “It’s my own hieroglyphic. I can read it.” —Greg Cody (09:50)

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3. College Football’s Wild West: NIL, Transfer Portal, and Coaching Carousel

Timestamps: 13:13–27:20

• Dan and Mike join topical discussion on the rise of “instant free agency” in college football.
  • Schools are openly poaching coaches and quarterbacks for multi-million-dollar NIL deals.
  • Agents (not boosters or school reps) are now brokering these NIL/transfer moves, using loopholes and inciting chaos.
• The case of Brendan Sorsby ($5 million NIL) and movement of key QBs draws a parallel to pro sports free-agency but with even fewer rules.
• Notable Quote:
  • “All the enforcement is toothless… $20 million is cheap if I tell Auburn right now, hey, you can get into the game by skirting some of the gray areas…” —Dan (21:29)
• Mike points out the competitive madness—schools are willing to double the unspoken cap to “get back in the game” (22:22).
• Government action or a new super-league structure is predicted as the eventual fix for the chaos (24:41).

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4. The Impact on the Miami Hurricanes and National Title Talk

Timestamps: 27:20–38:36

• Discussion turns to Miami’s playoff quest: the rarity of two-loss national champions (only two in history: 2007 LSU and 1960 Minnesota).
• Greg Cody and Dan express more anxiety over Miami’s upcoming game vs. Ole Miss (“Mississippi”) than their recent upset of Ohio State.
• Dan reveals his deliberate use of “Mississippi” (not “Ole Miss”), riffing on his father's repeated mispronunciation.
• The crew breaks down matchup worries:
  • Ole Miss executes the up-tempo, quick-pass offense that previously beat Miami twice.
  • Miami's strength is pass rush—but that can be neutralized by quick-release quarterbacks.
• Notable Quote:
  • “If you play a style that’s super fast and also the QB gets rid of it very fast and doesn’t get sacked and doesn’t throw interceptions, I’m just scared of that.” —Dan (42:11)
• Coaching trust issues: While Cristobal is credited with recent big-win decisions, some remain skeptical if he’s ready for 4th-quarter, high-pressure situations (37:47).

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5. Signature Chaos: A Car Alarm Interrupts

Timestamps: 40:37–41:39

• In the midst of a heated football breakdown, a car alarm (possibly Dan’s) goes off.
• The crew jokes about fines, interruptions, and the Miami experience.
• Notable Quote:
  • “That might be my car alarm. I don’t know what’s happening.” —Dan (40:37)
  • “That’s a hundred dollar fine… to everybody.” —Team (41:03)

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Notable Quotes & Exchanges

• Workplace Voyeurism:

  • “I do feel a little bit exposed here because if I stand up, you know, the pants do a real good job of leaving little to the imagination.” —Zaslow (07:22)

• New Sports Economy:

  • “Drew Rosenhaus is realizing, wait a minute, I can get a percentage… salaries are now going to keep going up in college football.” —Dan (14:13)

• College Football’s New Order:

  • “We are making up all of these rules as we go along… Thy’re going to just continue breaking all of these rules and testing anyone to try and make them stop.” —Dan (20:51)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• Zaslow Camera Debacle: 00:30–07:42
• Greg Cody’s Pen Feud: 07:43–12:32
• NIL & Transfer Portal Chaos: 13:13–27:20
• Miami Hurricanes Title Talk: 27:20–38:36
• Car Alarm/Signature Chaos: 40:37–41:39

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Episode Tone & Style

• The show is irreverent, fast-paced, and leans into comic awkwardness (Zaslow’s undressing, the car alarm, telestrator mishaps).
• Smart, self-mocking sports analysis is layered throughout; local references and in-jokes abound.
• Frequent friendly jabs, rule violations (“that’s a fine!”), and performative exasperation build a familiar, inside-joke-rich environment for regular listeners.

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SUMMARY

The episode careens between a viral in-studio moment, deep dives into the unraveling world of college football economics and ethics, and a heartfelt but anxious preview of Miami’s playoff hopes. The chaos of both college football and studio life serve as metaphors for each other, as Dan and crew laugh, argue, and argue about laughing, making this local hour an ideal blend of sports, comedy, and Miami color.

Transcript

[A]

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[B]

That's gonna be poor for the touchdown.

[A]

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[C]

Only on Prime.

[A]

Sign up for a 30 day free trial today. Restrictions apply. See Amazon.com amazonprime for details.

[B]

I think ZSAS would be mortified by everything that just happened right now, where I don't think ZSAS knows because he's not in his seat yet, that all of us were watching him in the green room taking his shirt off. And then at some point he took his pants off.

[D]

What?

[B]

And, and there were, there are cameras everywhere around here. All I heard was Chris Cody screaming. Chris Cody was just yelling like, zaz. Zaz. Zaz doesn't know that he's on on video.

[E]

I did not like any of that. I felt very uncomfor right away. I, I saw his shirt come off and that was the sight to see. And I was like, okay, if that's where it ends, it's fine. And then he went, he took his pants off. Luckily he had his underwear on. And from there I started shouting to the video team guys, I could see Zaslow.

[B]

Yeah, well, no, you brought everyone's attention to. Wait a minute. No, no, it wasn't from there that you started bringing attention to this. Because the only reason I looked at any of the cameras is because you were yelling about the fact that his shirt was not on.

[E]

And I was, I was being helpful though. I was not doing it like, oh, this is fun for me. I was doing. I would hate to be in this spot where people were seeing me without me knowing. That's a vulnerable spot.

[D]

I think the natural follow up question is why is he disrobing in the studio?

[E]

That's a good question.

[B]

Well, it wasn't in really the studio. This is the studio. He was in the green room and he thought it was a private area. And it is usually a private area. If you close the door, it's private. But there are cameras everywhere here.

[D]

But that doesn't answer the question. Why was he disrobing while on the Levitar clock?

[B]

We'll inform him of all of this when he gets here because I don't think he knows that we were watching him. We will get to see his face together and notice how disoriented he is. And bothered and shocked he is by that. I see just a great deal of unrest in the other studio. None of this sounds as audio the way that it's supposed to. I'm judging just from the horrified look on Roy's face and the fact that Mike just fled the room to go be with a pantless. Zazler.

[E]

Have I kept you? Because I felt the panic and I was like, guys, we need to keep Dan cool here. So I was like, nothing going on wrong here.

[B]

No, no. I just saw Widespread Panic on what the audio was here. What's the matter with the audio?

[F]

You just sound a little hollow to me right now. I want more robust Dan Lebatard. But also, you got this weird shadow show voice when you start. That's always, like, way lower on the levels.

[B]

Yeah, fix that.

[F]

No, don't fix it. It's your trademark. Whatever we. We adjust on on our end. It could also be because Zaz isn't in the room and we only have those two mics crack cracked open right now, and it sounds different white. Widespread Panic is a band.

[D]

I thought so. Yeah, I thought so.

[F]

He said he saw Widespread Panic. I was like, okay, where West Palm.

[D]

Do you like that band?

[F]

I.

[B]

First time I'm hearing about Widespread Panic, other than the one that I just saw on the face of Roy and Mike, because I. We're playing the hits, I sounded a little bit hollow.

[F]

20 years, I still care like that, Dan. Like, that's not a robust mic.

[D]

Big, Big Hill show.

[F]

Yeah.

[D]

Biggest game in 20 years.

[B]

History is gone. We are right here, right now, and every team they thought was going to be us is taking they ass home.

[D]

University of Miami, another pass play.

[B]

That's intercepted.

[D]

Taking it back is Keonta, Scott, all missed tackles.

[B]

Chambers lobbing it up behind the defense. Dejon Strug, tackle from behind. Well, Come back. Don't fall.

[D]

Hello. Fake. Break him. Show.

[B]

We put belt to ass. We did it every week, and we going to keep doing it until we land back home in our stadium for the national championship next week. Same deal, same bat channel, same bad time. Bump the ass. Just having fun, man.

[D]

Malachi.

[B]

So did we, bro. We only got 30 more minutes. 30 more minutes.

[F]

We get everything.

[B]

We work for them boys.

[F]

Ain't work how we work.

[B]

They ain't feel how we feel.

[D]

They ain't cry how we cry, gang.

[B]

You can see they don't got the energy we got, bro. They don't want it how we want it, bro. 30 moments.

[D]

Biggest game in 20 years.

[B]

Mass kicks Ass fake.

[D]

Big camera show.

[B]

Zaslo. You look great, punk. You look. You look like no one in dodgeball. No one in the movie dodgeball, but you look like you're going for it. And I don't think that you know that. While you were getting dressed, we could see you on the cameras taking your shirt off and then your pants off and. And Chris Cody was sh. Shouting to everyone here, trying to be helpful. And I believe there are human resources violations with the fact that there are cameras everywhere and there was flat rampant voyeurism going on as you took your shirt off and then took your pants off. And Chris Cody did play by play where he's like, fortunately, Chris Cody actually said he's taking his shirt off. I hope he doesn't take his pants off. My God, he's taking his pants off.

[F]

Why is Morgan Spurlock changing our green room?

[B]

The late Morgan Spurlock?

[C]

I thought I had avoided human resources by asking. Asking, you know, our makeup girl to leave the room. Because I don't want there to be an issue. I thought I was doing the right thing here.

[F]

You look like you're about to slap John Stossel.

[C]

Well, I will tell you, I look.

[B]

Like Dr. Dallas Diamond Page.

[C]

What a great. What a great reference.

[F]

David Schultz.

[B]

I thought it was. I thought it was Dallas Diamond Page.

[F]

That slapped John Dallas Page. That's a fine.

[E]

No, that's a play on for me.

[B]

What? What?

[F]

First off, that's not his name. That's a fine. You messed up the name. But it's also the moment. It's a different guy. It wasn't DDP.

[C]

Dr. D. David Schultz smacked him up.

[F]

You think he was an actual doctor? It's a question PhD.

[C]

Something to think about.

[B]

Dr. David. David Schultz does look like Dallas Diamond Page, does he not?

[F]

Diamond Dallas Page.

[B]

Does he not? Yeah, look.

[F]

Yeah, yeah, you get that all.

[B]

Okay.

[F]

Blonde curl and the. The. The skin that probably should have had some sun protective stuff on it.

[B]

Are we.

[C]

Are we going to air the footage of me changing?

[F]

We're not gonna do that. No, we're not gonna.

[D]

Yeah, we are.

[C]

All right.

[B]

Would you like us to do. Not really.

[D]

I would.

[C]

I do feel a little bit exposed here because if I stand up, you know, the pants do a real good job of leaving little to the imagination.

[E]

Yeah, we had the side profile, so you feel like.

[B]

You feel like you are exposed. You feel a little exposed now because you should have seen yourself a. When you were on all the cameras in here changing in the other room.

[C]

That's horrible.

[B]

Horrible. Greg Cody you know, we're looking. Greg Cody, before we get to your University of Miami thoughts and before we get to the Dolphins and the availability of John Harbaugh, I want to know, and I have wanted to know for 24 hours the nature of your feud with Richie Rosenblatt.

[D]

I don't consider it to be a feud. Is this mic on? It doesn't sound like it's on.

[B]

It is.

[F]

You're fine. Maybe turn up your headphones.

[D]

Okay. No, they're loud enough so you can hear it. Okay. No, I can hear it. I don't consider myself to have or have had a feud with Richie Rosenblatt. Now, for several years, I covered the University of Miami full time and he covered the University of Miami for the then rival Miami News back in the heyday of newspapers. So we had sort of a fierce back and forth. But you know, this, this alleged thing that happened with me refusing to give him a pen or something, that's lost in time.

[B]

Well, it's not lost in time because I mentioned yesterday and for those who do not know what happened, was in a freezing Buffalo outside the locker room because Greg Cody had a rivalry with Richie Rosenblatt. Richie Rosenblatt's pen froze. Greg Cody had a number of different pens that worked fine and hadn't frozen. Greg Cody would not lend Richie Rosenblatt any of the pens.

[D]

Allegedly. You're going to go to Buffalo with Bernie Parmalee? No, as a matter of fact, I don't recall Richie Rosenblatt covering the Dolphins. He covered the King. My rival on the Dolphins beat was Charles Bricker.

[F]

So was it. Did you do this Move to Bricker?

[D]

I may have.

[E]

Funny part about all this is that aren't you now the last person still using a pen in the locker room? I pretty writing down your chicken scratch. My dad's like quoting them like, do.

[G]

Not erase Barry Jackson from the narrative.

[E]

Oh, he's still using it.

[B]

And Ira.

[D]

Yeah, there's a few of us left. Dave Hyde, occasional Will. Chicken scratch.

[C]

It's such chicken scratch. Like it's just lines.

[B]

How do you read it after?

[D]

It's my own hieroglyphic. I can read it like I've never been accused of misquoting anybody. And if it's a very important interview, I'll record it. But a routine interview where Mike McDaniel is eyeing and humming through a post game talk.

[C]

Do you write the ums?

[D]

Yeah.

[E]

Or multiple times he has recorded an interview with somebody and forgot to hit record and then needed them to come back and do the interview.

[H]

Again.

[D]

Oh, boy. That's embarrassing. That's embarrassing.

[E]

Happened with Mario Cristobal.

[D]

It also happened with the president of the Marlins.

[B]

Put it on the poll, please. At lebatard show. Do reporters in the locker room still use pens? Yes or no? Because that's not something that I had actually considered. The fact that you would be alone in a locker room using a pen, taking notes.

[D]

Yeah. And I feel embarrassed doing it, but I do it anyway. But I'm very selective in my quotes. I only write down the things that I think have a chance to get into my column. If somebody is saying some benign comment about we gave it our all.

[B]

Yeah, that's how quotes work. Thank you for explaining that to me.

[D]

Some people write verbatim what everybody can't.

[B]

That's not possible to do that.

[D]

No, I think it is.

[B]

It's not possible to keep up with someone speaking writing at the same pace that they're speaking. That's not human.

[D]

No, it is, Greg.

[B]

It's not humanly possible when you have.

[D]

Your own shorthand, which I've developed over the years.

[E]

I want to play this game where, like, Dan gives a quote and you do your chicken scratch.

[B]

Let's do this now. Let's do it right now. We've got a new budget around here. Okay. We've got. We're still a growing show. We're still. No, he's got a telestrator now. He's got. No, do it with the telestrator. Try and keep up with me by writing what it is I'm saying. Because you now have access to a telestrator. I do not believe that you will be able to keep up with us in any way while we speak. Also, put this on the poll Juju at Lebatard show. Can you write as fast as someone speaks for 20 minutes? That's the question that's being asked that Greg Cody is alleging that he could transcribe correctly. There are people who can do it. Like, I'm forever amazed by closed captioning. Before AI took over, closed captioning or court stenographers and stuff. I'm amazed by it, but I don't think you could keep up with the written hand. I don't think that that's something that's possible, but we will test it. Greg Cody now has a telestrator that.

[E]

He can play with, drawing a smiley.

[B]

Face throughout the show. And. Yeah, we've made bad. It's bad judgment to give him the telescope. Yeah.

[E]

Do you not delete it?

[B]

Wow.

[C]

He.

[B]

Delete.

[D]

All right.

[B]

Oh, why is that?

[E]

To use this thing.

[F]

This is one hell, that's a good.

[C]

Job out of you. Like when. When ESPN started doing that. They throw like Tim Legler.

[B]

Oh, two circles.

[E]

Oh, no.

[B]

Tough.

[F]

No.

[B]

What do you know.

[F]

Already?

[B]

And it took 10 already.

[F]

Those are cherries.

[H]

Those are cherries.

[D]

Could have been anything.

[C]

Grow up.

[D]

Best grow down is more like it.

[F]

Preview I've ever seen.

[B]

Craig.

[F]

What?

[B]

10 seconds into the Telestrator, you're drawing balls.

[E]

I mean, we all root for it. When you see two circles.

[B]

Yeah. Inadvertently. You root for it. You root for it for somebody to do it accidentally, you don't root for it for someone.

[D]

Somebody had to do it.

[B]

John Harbaugh is now available, and people were talking about this for weeks. And I just, I know that Miami Dolphin fans are going to be excited about go get the guy who's a giant name and has done some winning. I'd prefer if he came with Lamar Jackson. I actually prefer if the pros just started doing what Auburn and what college football is doing, what Oklahoma State is doing. Oklahoma State just goes and gets North Texas as coach and quarterback. Now Auburn just gets the University of South Florida's coach and quarterback. When they talk about paying Byron Brown more than anybody in nil, what's that number going to be? Now? Those numbers going to keep going up, right? If Carson Beck's between three and four million dollars a year and now Auburn wants to get in the game because they've fallen behind everybody in the SEC and they just steal South Florida's coach and quarterback, where's the, where are these numbers going to end up? When I'm reading quotes from Drew Rosenhaus, who's representing Byron Brown, and Drew Rosenhaus is realizing, wait a minute, I can get a percentage here on people who are going to be making 3, 4, 5 million dollars because the salaries are now going to keep going up in college football, because it's not like Auburn is going to show restraint if they need a quarterback.

[F]

It's been reported that Brendan Sorsby kind of set the market at. At $5 million. It's tricky because even though Steve Sarkeesian mentioned, like, I don't know if anybody's actually following the salary cap, but these are capped rosters. They're supposed to be.

[C]

No, they're not.

[F]

They're supposed to be. Anyway. So you're, you're. The way you're supposed to go about it is like, do we really want to pay a Brendan Sorsby $5 million of our approximately $21 million cap? How do we build a roster that way.

[H]

One of my big goals for 2026 is just less money stress. How about that? I've got a kid now and I want to start a real travel fund, knock down some debt and not feel like every surprise expense is a mini heart attack, which I've had about 11 now since the holidays. Managing your money doesn't have to be a struggle this year. Monarch is the all in one personal finance tool designed to make your life easier. It brings your entire financial life, budgeting accounts and investments, net worth and future planning together into one dashboard on your laptop or phone. Start the new year on the right foot financially. After the chaos of the holidays, Monarch has been my full financial reset. I can actually see what I'm spending, set realistic budgets and track goals. I'll stick with past February. It even tells me what goals are doable based on our real numbers, which I desperately need. The weekly recaps alone keep me honest even when I'm sleep deprived. Like the last three days, the baby has been absolutely insane. But Monarch helps me know that I'm financially okay. Monarch help users save over 200 bucks per month on average after joining this new year. Achieve your financial goals for good. Monarch is the all in one tool that makes proactive money management simple all year long. Use code [e-mail] for half off your first year. That's 50% off your first [e-mail] with code dan.

[F]

Hey, Jeremy. Happy holidays.

[G]

Happy Januka.

[F]

I want to toast you. Actually, I don't. I will toast with you.

[E]

Okay.

[F]

We're co workers, friends, you could say. No, we cannot say that. But we both enjoy an ice cold Miller Lite.

[E]

That's true.

[F]

Especially around the holidays. You know, it's a 50th anniversary of Miller Lite.

[G]

It's really amazing every time we say that. I can't believe it.

[F]

Well, it's crazy because, like, they've basically been partners with the Dan Lebatard show for half of their existence. When I put it to you that way, we got an old ass show. Yeah, we do. That's crazy. Hey, let's look around at our friends, not each other and our family, even though they're not here. I do miss your brother, though.

[G]

Yeah, I know.

[F]

I'll bring him back and take that first sip, look around and know that we made the right decision. When it comes to a domestic light lager, Miller Lite is the best. And it's the holiday season, as we mentioned. Why don't you enjoy that holiday season by drinking a beer that won't weigh you down. The original light beer since 1975 still hinted different 50 years later. Brewed for flavor with simple ingredients like malted barley, rich balanced toffee notes, and that iconic golden color that you can see from across the room. The best holiday beers are the ones you don't expect. Miller Lite great taste. 96 calories. Go to millerlight.com dan to find delivery options near you. Or you can pick up some Miller Lite pretty much anywhere they sell beer. Tis Miller time. Celebrate responsibly. Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin. 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces.

[H]

All right, kicking things off with Smirnoff, the official vodka sponsor of the NFL and the number one vodka in the world. Chris Cody, you're here.

[F]

Smirnoff.

[B]

Wow.

[H]

You're on the money with Smirnoff, Chris. You know what goes great with Smirnoff? Yes, but I'm really talking about the game day fit. The style's gotta match the vibe. All right, here's the deal.

[D]

Game day is everything.

[H]

And that's exactly why your fit has to match the occasion. Starting this December, Smirnoff is giving fans 21 and over the chance to score limited edition Smirnoff commission merchandise from some of today's top creators, including Kayla Jones, Gavin, Matthew and Aleli. Mix me. Here's the kicker. One lucky fan will take home the grand prize. A trip to the biggest game of the off season. Plus, one fan will win a Laylee May's 1 of 1 game day jacket.

[F]

Wow.

[H]

The merch will be dropped on select dates from December to January 21st. And it's all courtesy of what brand? That's right, Chris. Fans 21 and over can head to Smirnoff Socials to learn how to sign up. And don't forget to grab a bottle of Smirnoff vodka number 21 at your local retail. Please drink responsibly. Smirnoff number 21, vodka distilled from grain 40 alcohol by volume. The Smoff Company, New York, New York. Please do not share with anybody under legal drinking age. No purchase necessary. Must be legal. US resident, 21 or older. Sweepstake starts 12:15, 2025 at 12:00am Eastern and ends 1:23, 2026 at 11:59, 59:00pm Eastern. See official rules at program website.

[B]

Don Leardard. You don't remember the idea?

[E]

I was probably like, that kind of thing.

[B]

Something.

[D]

Okay, no, the home run call was that kind of swing. That kind of thing.

[F]

Stugats oh, it's a good call.

[D]

Thank you. And plus, it doesn't matter who's hitting it. Like, you're not tailoring it to a particular name. You know, all that jazz, you know, you don't got to do that.

[F]

Oh, that would be a great call.

[D]

Swing, that kind of thing.

[B]

This is the done Levatar show with the stugats. So you're going to have a lot of situations like the Demond Williams situations, are you not? For those that are not familiar where the University of Washington quarterback it signed and then entered the portal while signed.

[F]

Yeah, it was announced that he re upped with Washington after it was initially reported he was going to entertain the portal and he had signed his contract and it's been reported that it is signed, executed. And yesterday it was reported at a bad time because they were doing a celebration of life over at the University of Washington when all this stuff started to break that he was re entering the portal with a do not contact tag on it. The early reports suggest LSU is in the mix and all that was breaking while Sam Levitt was at a basketball game sitting next to Lane Kiffin. Sam Levitt, by the way, also has a do not contact and he's touring the entire Southeast right now. This is the Damon Williams.

[C]

What does that mean? Do not contact? Just like don't contact me, I'll contact you.

[F]

Exactly. But Miami got sued by Wisconsin for what happened with Xavier Lucas. Now, Darren Heitner, the attorney that helps out a lot of athletes in these, has provided plenty of color on the situation, saying that Wisconsin acted illegally in that they didn't allow for Xavier Lucas to enter the portal. This is a different situation. It is a marquee Big Ten quarterback. It's gonna get ugly. It's a bit of a shit show.

[B]

Well, it's already ugly. All of it's a bit of a shit show. And when I say I understand that there are rules, but there are no rules, like, no one's going to abide by these rules. $20 million is cheap. If I tell Auburn right now, hey, you can get into the game by skirting some of the gray areas around. We're making up all of these rules as we get along, as we go along. I believe that they're going to just continue breaking all of these rules and testing anyone to try and make them stop. Especially when the penalties end up being, oh, you'll forfeit games nobody cares about from a couple of years ago.

[F]

Every.

[B]

All the enforcement is toothless.

[F]

Right? I mean, Michigan gets to keep their national title. I get it. Also, I think the Auburn thing is kind of a disaster. Like Deucent is a much better quarterback and they let him go. I don't. Bringing over a Group of 5 roster to the P4 level. That's all plan. I don't think it's a great one.

[B]

I love Byron Brown like I did as soon as they took him out for the dollars. I don't. Okay. I mean, you're in the market of knowing what these things cost. If you watch South Florida play last year, as many of you did, you know that their offense was great when Byron Brown played and then the moment that he wasn't the bowl game, they couldn't do anything at all. Like they have. They have an enormous number of athletes over there. He's somebody I would want as my quarterback.

[F]

Yeah, but. But that's a. That's an insane price. Like who are you negotiating against?

[C]

It's only insane price though, if we're actually doing a salary.

[B]

That's correct, Mike. It's only an insane price if you're abiding by 20 and 21 million. And I'm telling you that if I tell any of the big programs right now, if I tell the people who run Auburn, hey, you want to get back in the game in SEC, it's going to cost you more than 21 million. They'll go give double, we'll go double, we'll go twice that high in order to get into this particular game. I can buy myself into the Ohio state category with $21 million. You got the ASU coach out here begging for money yesterday on the show where he's just saying one booster, please give us $20 million so that we can get into this game.

[F]

I understand why you hope Traffic and Oklahoma State, they're in a different situation because they're in the Big 12 and offense is king there. And maybe Messamaker translates in that conference. Maybe they can microwave it. They also got the running back from North Texas too. Right. And that guy is sensational. So maybe that that translates.

[B]

They'll be better, period.

[F]

Yeah.

[B]

Because they can't be worse.

[F]

Yeah, I'll go on the record. I think the Skull ish thing at Auburn is a disaster. I don't. I don't think it like early returns on this. It's not a great situation. Maybe he can program build. He did a good job at USF and I rated him there. But this is not a good start.

[E]

That's on the record.

[B]

We do put it on the record, but I would Say to you though that all it is that you need to do if you're a nowhere program like Auburn this year, a total afterthought in the sec, there aren't a lot of better options than go get the coach and the quarterback at another school. I'll try and fix it that way. Like it's one thing like if I told you right now John Harbaugh is coming to Miami, there'd be a level of excitement. If I tell you it's John Harbaugh with Lamar Jackson, all of a sudden it's a totally different fact. That these programs can now go get a coach and a quarterback and turn everything else in college football into the minor leagues of business is crazy.

[F]

Yeah, it's going to need to be cleaned up. But it proof positive. Look at the semifinal, how quickly Signetti turned things around and he got Fernando Mendoza in the portal and he already announced that he's getting Josh Hoover next year. All these quarterbacks are transfer quarterbacks. Miami is back legitimately in the game because of this transfer portal and the ability to turn over a roster at the game's most important position.

[C]

Primarily you're saying it's going to turn around, but like, all right, what's the tipping point? What, when is it going to turn around?

[F]

I mean the government needs to get its crap together. I mean things aren't even reaching the floor because they're so flawed. Ultimately we're headed to super league in which a television company or a cfp, some kind of government takes over for the, some sort of governing body takes over for the NCAA. And you have a group of 50 teams that collectively bargain this stuff and there are harsh penalties for tampering and tampering. You mentioned Damon Williams. This is a two way street and most people don't know this. And Lane Kiffin is going to be the villain here because people are already teeing off on LSU and Lane Kiffin for being the ones to tamper with Damond Williams. Most of the people talking to other teams right now and there's about 4,500 players in the portal. As I checked, most of the high end quarterbacks that are taking meetings with teams aren't even in the portal because tampering is a two way street. It's the agents. It is 100% the agents that are initiating the illegal contact. Yes. Are some team. High end teams would be stupid not to listen because this is a talent acquisition game. And I would venture to say there are certainly plenty of programs that skirt the rules and initiate contact deion Sanders has spoken about this, which was funny coming from him, but like this is a thing, but it always will go on. And it's highly convenient that Lane Kiffin is involved in this process in particular because this is an agent thing. Well, Mon Williams signed this contract and I believe Jed Fish, the head coach at Washington and Damon Williams are repped by the same agency. Shit show.

[B]

The reason that I think all of this is both amazing and fascinating to see happen, because it was right before the pandemic we were talking about. No players were being paid at the beginning of the pandemic. I've seen some of this happen in Hollywood. Agents running things that have no laws, super dangerous, involving kids. Kids and families from poverty. Like. Like the idea that the agents can step into a breach where there are no consequences.

[C]

You think it'll take advantage.

[B]

It's crazy. You can't. You cannot have this be what it is that's governing college sports and expect anything that resembles order. You mentioned Indiana, okay? And Indiana has a chance here to win the championship as a true undefeated team. Do you know how unusual it is that Miami's got a chance at the championship with two losses? Like in the history of the sport? I'm going to guess that there have been maybe the history of the sport. Take a guess how many two lost champions there are. Because I definitely.

[C]

None before any kind of playoff.

[B]

No, I. Well, none before. Obviously none before a playoff. Les Miles is the last one that I can remember and I don't know if it's happened before that.

[F]

Bama. I think Bama recently got in.

[C]

But that was a 14 playoff.

[F]

Yeah, but. Yeah, but that's even harder to do with two losses.

[D]

It's definitely not unprecedented, it's just rare. But you know what's going to happen. I foresee a time and it's very soon where the NFL is going to have to completely redo their rookie wage scale to compete with the colleges. Because if you get a situation where a star quarterback can make more money by returning for his senior season than he would as an NFL rookie, that's a problem for the NFL and they're going to have to deal with that.

[B]

Please look up for me two loss champions all time in college football. Because I cannot imagine that there had been very many in all of the years that this has been going on all time.

[F]

Like especially now with a bunch of teams claiming championships afterwards. Miami had a team that was a two loss national champion, right?

[B]

I don't think so.

[F]

The team that lost to Florida. Or is that a One loss.

[B]

I don't. There might have been a team in the 60s that won.

[F]

A team's got it.

[G]

According to the Athletic, an article from just around this time last year There are only two teams ever to have won the national championship with two losses. 2007 LSU, which lost a pair of triple overtime games to Arkansas and then beat Ohio state in the BCS title game. And then 1960 Minnesota, which had lost to Purdue and it's second to last game of the year, but moved back to number one a week later and was crowned the national champions.

[B]

Right, Cody, Was that a good Minnesota team in the.

[D]

I remember that team. And here's another fun fact. That Minnesota team in 1960 shared the national championship with Ole Miss. Ole Miss claims three national championships. The only one they actually get universal credit for is the co Championship in 1960 with Minnesota.

[B]

Greg Cody has proclaimed that if Miami beats Mississippi they will be champions. He's not worried about the next game. He thinks that Mississippi is the difficult game. I'll say something that may surprise you. I'm more scared of Mississippi than I was of Ohio State because Mississippi does the things well that already beat Miami twice this year with lesser teams and lesser quarterbacks. SMU and Louisville do not do as well what Trinidad Chambliss does. Well, nobody stopped Mississippi this year. There's not a there. You will not win this game. You will not win this game with the 10 points against Texas A and M. And I'm not sure you win it with the 24 that you scored against Ohio State either.

[C]

Can I ask you real quick, is that a power move where you're calling them Mississippi? Is that. Is that what's going on there? Cuz if it is, I'm okay with it. I'm just wondering. It feels like a power move.

[F]

You're pretty consistent on this. And it's weird because they're famously Ole Miss. I mean you're not wrong. It's a weird preference.

[D]

Yeah. University of Mississippi would be the formal. Why don't you go there?

[C]

That's really taking it another step.

[F]

Like Roy's often said, why he refuses to do it. Are you doing a Roy thing? Are you an ally?

[B]

No, I'll tell you what it is that I'm doing. What I'm doing is that my father, whenever it is, it would appear on a script on the highly questionable page. My father would always read it accidentally as Olay Miss. And so I just. I just dismissed it from like any compartment in my head and I just.

[E]

I prefer that actually.

[B]

I just I just turned. Well, that's. That's how Greg says they tackle as Ole Miss tackles.

[D]

Ole Miss tackle.

[G]

Hello, listeners. You know that I live in Miami, which means my idea of quote unquote winter is just putting on a hoodie or a cardigan and acting like I've suffered. But every time that I travel somewhere that's actually cold, I'm reminded that my wardrobe is completely and utterly unprepared. But that right there is where Quince comes in. I also realize that if I'm gonna be on camera for broadcast gigs, I probably shouldn't look like I just grabbed whatever was closest to the door. Quince makes clothes that deliver premium materials, thoughtful design, and pieces that hold up season after season after season after season. And particularly with quints. Their outerwear has been the thing that's especially impressed me. Those down jackets, wool coats, Italian leather. And, folks, that cashmere sweater, ridiculously soft, looks great and somehow doesn't cost what you'd expect. Trust me, I am the only one on this show who actually dresses to impress. And Quince is what's now helping me do it. Refresh your winter wardrobe with quince. Go to quince.com dan for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada, too. That's Q-U-I-N c e.com dan free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com dan don lebatard.

[D]

What do I got here? I got a Magnum condom. We won't get that out.

[B]

That's shocking. ST.

[D]

Here's a picture of Christopher when he was like three years old.

[B]

Right next to the condom.

[F]

Yeah. Reminder.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Never forget, this is the D? Ler show with the st.

[F]

I'm with you, though. I. I'm more nervous about this one, which is ridiculous.

[E]

This sounds wacky.

[G]

All I've heard all season is about.

[E]

That Ohio State roster.

[F]

Yeah. I mean, Miami was a nine and a half point dog against Ohio State. Miami had to travel to College Station. I understand why it sounds weird, but stylistically, this is difficult. I mean, we mentioned the top three passers. When it comes to getting the ball out quick, the numbers 2 and 3 were Miller Moss and Kevin Jennings.

[B]

That is how. That is how Louisville and SMU beat Miami. Get rid of the ball quick. Eliminate Macedore and Ruben Bane. Eliminate them like you. If in fact, SMU should have won that game earlier. There was a play early in that game where they just called a screen pass where they just lobbed it over the head of Ruben Bane. And they didn't connect on it. It would have gone for 80 yards. But the whole game plan was just make sure we get rid of the ball before Ruben Bane can go from over there to our quarterback. And, and, and, and Chambliss doesn't get sacked. He got sacked against Florida, but he doesn't get sacked.

[F]

Very elusive. They have a left tackle that hasn't given up a sack all season. But the also is a reason why they don't give up sacks. But let's look at those games with Louisville and smu. It's not like these offenses torched Miami early. Like Louisville goes for a fake field goal that everybody knew was coming and Miami wasn't prepared for. They get lucky on a crossing route and then Miami settles into that game. Their offense doesn't do much. Louisville wins that game because of four turnovers.

[B]

Miami should win that team. This team is better and this quarterback better.

[C]

I get it.

[F]

I get it.

[D]

But like defense is not.

[F]

But here's the tempo conversation.

[C]

Can we all say the Canes are better now too?

[F]

Yes. Like the tempo conversation. Miami did a pretty good job against these offenses. When you mentioned smu. Look at the rushing yards from that game. They were negative until OT in that game. And let's, let's be honest now. Now that Miami's built up the credibility in the playoffs and I'm not just some like wacko yelling head to head should matter. Miami lost the game against SMU for one reason and one reason only. The officiating. And I do think one storyline that has gone totally uncovered throughout this run is you cannot ignore the amount of success that Miami's had with referees from different conferences.

[B]

You can say that the only reason they lost the game against SMU was officiating. But that game was close. And SMU's not as good as this team and Jennings is not as good as Chambliss. The two teams that beat Miami did so with quarterbacks who are not as good as this one.

[F]

I'm also not on team. Let's just say SMU's not as good as Ole Miss. While I tend to agree. But sm like, let's stop talking about the SEC like they are not capable of losing at smu.

[B]

I'm just talking about what the Ole Miss offense is. Mike. I'm not.

[F]

Chambliss is a different quarterback. He's the best quarterback that we face in two years.

[G]

We also shouldn't just make Ole Miss a referendum of the sec. They're the last.

[F]

They're the last one Standing. They're a good team just like Miami. No, I'm co signing. I'm nervous about it. They do, they do things. But while the comparisons to SMU and the lore fine, inaccurate. Miami is a different team now. And I think that's very clear.

[B]

Maybe because the team absolutely has been playing better over the last six weeks than when it is that it lost. But it will only take a couple of coaching mistakes to remind us that this coach is not someone you trusted before two games ago.

[F]

Why, why don't you trust Mario Crisol? What is he? What is he? What is he messing up on game day?

[B]

Historically or this season?

[F]

Yeah, no, I'm saying this season I'm. I'm well aware of what history will say. Well, and not let him forget Lashley.

[B]

And Brahm handed him his head. With lesser teams.

[F]

No, they didn't hand him his head. Those were one score games. And what did they do from a game?

[B]

SMU and Louisville are not as good as Miami and both of those coaches figured out by getting the ball out early and in Louisville's case making Beck beat them. And it couldn't because he kept throwing the ball deep when he shouldn't have. Both of those coaches undressed Cristobal with.

[F]

Lesser teams, okay, a coaching gets one score loss is not an unjust favored by double figures. I think it's fair, I think that Miami made coaching mistakes. We were sounding the alarms that we have tendencies. Teams are over these tendencies. And in that SMU game Shannon Dawson started to mix things up. There was a weird game. Penalties kind of took over. Miami should have won that game, no doubt. But in terms of like game management and clock management, if you're still like touting that Mario Cristobal is a up of a game coach, you're not watching.

[B]

I'm saying I am watching. And I'm saying that two victories ago you didn't trust crystal ball in any of these games historically.

[F]

And I'm saying from two years ago, I have. Miami was in plenty of one score games last year and people just want to say like why didn't he go for it against Syracuse? What was that like? He's been good.

[C]

I think the question is are we at a place then even if you trust crystal ball now compared to the past, are we in a place where if it's the fourth quarter, it's the middle of the fourth quarter and it's a tie game? Are you not saying anymore I hope that Mario Criswell doesn't f this up? Are we at that place. And if we're at that place, okay, fine, but I don't know that we're.

[F]

At that place in the cfp. There have been two instances where I'm like, that's not my favorite. It was the approach to close the first half, the settling for a field goal at College Station that they eventually missed. I think that was more like Carson Beck not wanting to mess around with the win because he had no interest in putting those balls in play. And the one that almost burned Miami was to close once again. End of the first half, Cotton Bull, we take a timeout and aid Ohio State's clock management. They end up taking a field goal attempt. They miss it, Miami stays up 14 0. Those were two that I think that you can isolate.

[C]

And there are plenty of coaches who you don't second guess that.

[F]

Right. But we also do this thing where we don't give him credit for when he gets it right because there's just this narrative that I think is pretty unfair.

[B]

We have given him credit. You called him a genius several times earlier this week because he's won the two most recent games.

[G]

Games.

[B]

One of the issues that they're going to have tomorrow night is that their defensive players are going to get tired. They're going to have to rotate players. The pace that that Mississippi keeps is, is very fast. And by the fourth quarter, if that game is close, I am scared of what that quarterback can do.

[F]

I was 100% though, Dan.

[B]

I was confused.

[F]

We're different there, too. Let me like, you're worried about rotation, that SMU game. Well, I know you're frustrated, but. But I need to stop you because Miami is rotating players. You're seeing players develop. Marcus Lightfoot, Marquis Lightfoot is beating double teams. Now when Ohio State goes on that run, yeah, they're doing tempo, but Miami is saving guys for the fourth quarter. That is where they're different from mid season.

[B]

The thing changes I'm worried about that's different from mid season is that Mississippi has lost one game this season. They could have beaten and should have beaten Georgia both times they played them. The first time they played them in the fourth quarter, Chambliss was 1 for 10 and the last time he played him, he couldn't incomplete a pass in the fourth quarter. That's what I'm worried about. I'm worried about in the fourth quarter because Georgia has plenty of rotating defensive linemen as well in the fourth quarter. Nobody could do anything with Chambliss.

[G]

Look, we also know their coach is going to be good to go in the clutch, even if he hasn't been a head coach because did you guys see what he said yesterday? He was asked about how hectic this week has been. He said, my next door neighbor was Aaron Hernandez. I know this is more chaos.

[F]

Yeah. Joe Judge, who's in charge of the game flow operations, and he had a spectacular failure in the Sugar Bowl. I think that Miami's reputation precedes itself and people think that they're the team that lost to Louisville and smu. I think if you watch those games back with the benefit of hindsight and knowing how far Miami has come and how they've broken tendencies and how they've changed personnel and how players have developed and what Mario Crisabal and his staff have learned from those games, I think you realize that Miami has the ability to slow this offense down. In fact, when Ole Miss ran up against a team that was a good defense, someone alarm is. I'm hearing a car alarm right now.

[B]

That might be my car alarm. I don't know what's happening.

[E]

It has to be.

[F]

You're the closest car here. Yeah, they played Oklahoma. They played Oklahoma and beat Oklahoma. And I've listened to a lot of Ole Miss, Ole Miss podcast invoking.

[D]

That's a fine right there. Imagine if that happened to me.

[F]

That's worse.

[B]

That's true.

[F]

That's worse than a text message going off.

[B]

I didn't set off the alarm.

[G]

That's a hundred dollar fine.

[H]

That's a hundred.

[D]

$100 to everybody.

[C]

Thousand dollars.

[E]

Just unlock the door for the person out there breaking in.

[F]

We should check up on your car. Ole Miss, good about tempo. One of the fastest teams in the nation. They had their slowest pace of the year when they played Oklahoma. The best defense that they face, a defense that they compare a lot to Miami's. But I also think you should pay attention to what Lane Kiffin said after that game because he apparently was holding the ball because he was weary of Brent Venables stealing sides.

[C]

All right, the way we're talking about Trinidad Chambers and my God, I can't wait for this game. Mainly because I'm tired of hearing about Trinidad Chambliss. How quick it's John Elway, apparently that we're going up against on Thursday nights.

[D]

But.

[C]

But if. If the way we're talking about Trinidad Chambliss, it sounds like this, this is the most difficult game the Canes are going to have, then this can't be true.

[E]

I know what you guys are doing, Styles, but the rosters here, I Disagree with that.

[D]

I don't think Ole Miss is as good as Indiana or Oregon, but if they get past Ole Miss, which I think they will, they have a home game and um, does not lose home games for the national champions.

[B]

I just said earlier that I fear this game more than I feared Ohio State and they were a nine and a half point dog against Ohio State. And the reason I'm saying that is only because Ole Miss plays the style that already beat Miami twice better than the two teams, Louisville and smu, who beat Miami with that style. If you knew the reason Miami is here is pass rush. It's not, we can say running game, we can say Carson Beck's been a game manager. The reason they're here is because they've got two, two first round picks as edge rushers. And if you play a style that's super fast and also the quarterback gets rid of it very fast and doesn't get sacked and doesn't throw interceptions, I'm just scared of that. I think you're going to need to outscore them in a high scoring game. I don't think defense wins this game.

[F]

I get it, I get it. No defense is going to have to win this game. But also important for you in the audience, let's a take. Stop pretending like Louisville and SMU are the only teams that play tempo against Miami. Miami's run up against most of the teams in their sketch on their schedule, play high tempo, but it's not tempo.

[B]

But it's not tempo. That the tempo is not what worries me. It's the quarterback getting the ball out so fast is what worries me.

[F]

I just played a few of those.

[B]

As soon as I saw what Brom was doing with Louisville, okay, as soon as that game started, I was like, oh shit. He's making sure that Reuben Bain can't wreck this game. He's not trusting his quarterback. He's telling his quarterback, just throw, throw it to Bell the first round pick as quick as you can on slants and make sure that Ruben Bane does not take the ball in the other direction. That. And so as soon as that started happening, it puts the game in Carson Beck's hands. How do you guys feel right now about that? About the idea that this game might come down to you need Beck to be better than Chambliss?

[F]

Oh, you don't? You don't. I think Beck has been really smart and Beck has fundamentally changed himself to the point that you can say, you can call him a game manager. I think his greatest asset right now is checking into runs. He's a very smart quarterback. Teams are daring him to find holes in the zone. He has totally reshaped the way that he plays. I think he's going to have to play his best counting numbers game of the playoffs because I do think this offense will be challenged early on to keep pace. Something that they've had the luxury of not having to do. But Carson Beck has totally reshaped himself.

[C]

I really think you got to give back a lot of credit because it seems that you're right with everything you're saying there and everything that he's doing and the way that, that he's changed his game is absolutely for the betterment of the team and it is worse for his future as an NFL prospect.

[B]

Well, it's a little bit crazy when you consider it actually Zaz, because it would be totally normal for any college kid after playing that FSU game where FSU is daring them to throw deep with their corners, playing one on one coverage to get filled with yourself. You're unbeaten, you're a top five team in the country and you love the deep pass because you get to show off your arm. That seems like it'd be a great deal of fun for him to go from that to the humbling of no, I lost the Louisville game. That's my fault. They're not better than us. We're playing that game at home. We're down 9 in the fourth quarter and only in the game because we're recovering a fumble we never should have had because our quarterback threw us all in a ditch. The pain of whatever that wallowing was to change a kid did. Who could fall in love with. Wait a minute. I'm a star quarterback. I'm the highest paid quarterback in the.

[D]

In.

[H]

In.

[B]

In college football. People want me, they know my name. To go from that to Alex Smith.

[C]

It's impressive.

[B]

It's a, it's a big ask.