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Dan LeBatard
You're listening to Giraffe Kings Network.
Stugotz
Yeah, sure thing. Hey, you sold that car yet?
Tony
Yeah, sold it to Carvana.
Stugotz
Oh, I thought you were selling to that guy. The guy who wanted to pay me.
Billy
In foreign currency, no interest over 36 months.
Stugotz
Yeah, no.
Billy
Carvana gave me an offer in minutes.
Stugotz
Picked it up, and paid me on the spot.
Billy
It was so convenient.
Stugotz
Just like that?
Tony
Yep.
Stugotz
No hassle? None. That is super convenient. Sell your car to Carvana and swap.
Dan LeBatard
Hassle for convenience.
Jessica
Pickup fees may apply.
Mike Ryan
Now's a good time to remember where tequila's story truly began. In 1795, Cuervo invented tequila. Cuervo, what are you doing here?
Stugotz
Cuervo. Anytime someone says Cuervo, I show up.
Mike Ryan
Well, I do know that to be true. But even during ad reads like Cuervo, I think he could lay out, especially for one of our great partners.
Stugotz
Sweet, delicious Cuervo.
Mike Ryan
Since then, Cuervo has stayed true to its roots. The same family, the same land, the same passion.
Stugotz
Cuervo.
Mike Ryan
So enjoy the tequila that started it all.
Stugotz
Cuervo. Cuervo.
Mike Ryan
The tequila that invented tequila. Proximo. Cuervo.com, please drink responsibly.
Stugotz
Cuervo. Shadow Show.
Dan LeBatard
Shadow Show.
Stugotz
Shadow Show.
Jonathan Zaslow
Shadow Show.
Stugotz
Shadow Show.
Jonathan Zaslow
Shadow Show.
Stugotz
Shadow Show. Shadowing it. Shadowing it. Roy. I'm scared of backward cap Billy with the mischievous grin. And I'm scared of backward cap Billy with a mischievous grin On a day that there's no Chris Cody. Oh.
Billy
Cause he's got a tight ship here.
Stugotz
No stugats, no Mike Ryan, no Lewis. It's just Billy. And now Billy's turned his.
Dan LeBatard
No, Lewis, let me.
Tony
Lewis hasn't been to work in three weeks. Where is the. He's. He's been missing more than stugats.
Billy
Who are you to talk. Your brother was here working last week and you weren't.
Tony
I didn't. I didn't approve that, by the way.
Stugotz
I don't really understand.
Jessica
We liked him better.
Stugotz
Our vacation policy is not something that I totally get. So I. But it seems nice.
Billy
Some people get to never work, and other people never get to take vacation.
Stugotz
And I'm always here how it works. Well, wait a minute. Wait.
Billy
Some people have kids also on spring break, and they have to come in every day. This weekend they go spend any time with their family. Works.
Stugotz
Yep.
Billy
And other people just went on vacation. And they're back on vacation again now this week.
Stugotz
So I don't understand our. I don't understand our policy. I didn't. I know. I know. That you guys always think that I'm the hot dog meme, pointing back at himself like the spider man meme, but that I'm Tim Robinson. But I find myself wondering how it is we're going to withstand it. And in the breach steps superhero Jonathan Zas.
Billy
Yeah.
Stugotz
Where?
Jonathan Zaslow
Stu Gotz.
Stugotz
Zaz looks like Radio.
Jonathan Zaslow
You said that the other day. What does that mean?
Stugotz
It's mean.
Tony
That's exactly what it is.
Stugotz
Is it mean?
Billy
It's not a compliment.
Jonathan Zaslow
No. I thought, I'm looking handsome these days.
Billy
I think you look great.
Jonathan Zaslow
Thank you.
Stugotz
The bald look is definitely working for you.
Jonathan Zaslow
All right. Thank you.
Stugotz
In outfit and demeanor, he looks like Radio. He comes in, look. I think I'm gonna start the show just asking Zaslow an assortment of questions so that we can get to know the Zas wardrobe. For example.
Jonathan Zaslow
Oh, my wife was not pleased with today's wardrobe.
Billy
That's a great jacket.
Jonathan Zaslow
Thank you. My wife was not happy. I. I go into the closet in the morning. I pick out whatever is the handiest. Whatever is the close. The lights are not on in the bedroom. It's early in the morning. And she looks at me, she goes, that is a terrible, terrible outfit. And I couldn't care less. What do I care? Who am I trying to impress?
Stugotz
See, that's the thing. But I've got a lot of questions, because you guys have to understand that the Zaslo I know never wants to leave Cooper City.
Jonathan Zaslow
They get everything I need when he.
Stugotz
Doesn'T want to see the world, doesn't want to see Europe.
Jonathan Zaslow
My wife's going to Europe on Wednesday. This week I'm staying in Cooper City.
Stugotz
And is thrilled because he'll just watch Panther games.
Tony
Where the hell is Cooper City?
Stugotz
It's. It's.
Jonathan Zaslow
It's a suburb in Broward, and it's got everything I need, man.
Stugotz
Publix and everything.
Jonathan Zaslow
Yeah, it's kind of publix. It's got a gas station in case I need to go somewhere. It's got a liquor store. I'm good to go.
Stugotz
I'm telling you that as close to Venice as Zas will ever get if a college football game is not played there. Now that ESPN is making him travel, is one of those canals on the outskirts of Cooper City like that he'll vacation there. He doesn't want. I'm going to ask a question here. How many coats do you like? You've traveled with college football. When that experiment began, how many coats did you own?
Jonathan Zaslow
Great question. I was not fully prepared for how cold the end of the college football season was going to be like when I'm going to South Bend, Indiana. I was not prepared for that. I need to do a much better job before next college football season. I was cold.
Stugotz
You didn't answer my question.
Jonathan Zaslow
Yeah, I don't have. I don't have coats. I don't. Cooper City doesn't get that cold.
Stugotz
You didn't, you didn't own a coat before traveling for college football season?
Jonathan Zaslow
No, no. And I was just wearing, you know, like hooded sweatshirts, you know, and hope that does the trick.
Stugotz
In Wisconsin.
Jonathan Zaslow
It was so cold. Ann Arbor, Michigan, it was really cold.
Billy
This is the Dan Levatar show with the Stugats podcast.
Stugotz
Is everyone mad at March Madness? Not enough drama and buzzer beaters and upsets and stories and fun and. What? Why are you making a face, Tony?
Tony
Come on. Because I don't like that we get this once a year, okay? We have this incredible tournament where there's basketball everywhere and there's hoops everywhere. And I got my wife being like, are you really going to watch college basketball? Like, yeah, babe, it's March. That's what I do in March. We watch college hoops. And yeah, there hasn't been a ton of upsets. There haven't been a ton of buzzer readers. There have been a ton of the secret sauce, though.
Stugotz
There is always the secret sauce of the white guy. You know, going into this tournament, I told you my analysis was everyone's going to shoot 35%. And so when you go and you watch St. John's and God bless, God bless Calipari here, who beatself. He's got to feel so good. He has to feel so good today. Taking out Pitino and Self at Arkansas. But so everyone told you before St. John's hey, they can't shoot threes and they can't shoot free throws. Can't do either of those. And it's like, okay, if they can't do those. That seems to be problematic in those pesky one on one situations that everyone's going to get bothered by when they're gambling on these games.
Jonathan Zaslow
Does Calipari feel better right now than the Kentucky fan is angry? I mean, Cal missed the sec, lost in the first round, was five consecutive years before he left there and now coaching his ass off. He's the best story of the tournament.
Stugotz
It is nuts that there are only four conferences remaining and one of them is there only because Duke's still there. Like, otherwise you'd have this dominated by all of these same teams and A lot of people see in that St. John's in Arkansas game, which is the one a lot of people were looking forward to. Oh, my God, that's horrific.
Jonathan Zaslow
Woof.
Stugotz
That is horrific to watch. 4 for 41 from 3. You've never seen a tournament game where the shooting is that bad. And you. You realize that no matter how much money is in it, paid for it, or gambled on it. Oh, they're not pros. They're not. They're learning how to play basketball. We're just betting on them. Younger, like, that's. Oh, they're not good yet.
Tony
It's almost like college kickers. Like, where do the NFL kickers come from? Because every college kicker I see.
Jonathan Zaslow
Terrible, terrible.
Stugotz
That's hard to do. It seems like a hard job. College kicking seems like that's not that easy. Just because the pros make. Steph makes it look like that. So we get mad at Pitino for not coaching St. John's better at threes. Like, oh, that's the damage that that does.
Tony
Get some guy that can shoot three. The secret sauce. You know, every coach knows going into March, I need one guy who's white who can shoot, and Pitino has none of them.
Jonathan Zaslow
I love the attention that Calipari's got. I know he's super polarizing. A lot of people don't like him. You could say that he underachieved even though he won a national championship at Kentucky. Think of what Calabari's done this year. That Arkansas team was terrible to start the season. Then they went to Lexington. The whole story. Patino's putting out a video. Don't boo cow. You should treat him with respect. And Calabari goes into Lexington and they. They kick the crap out of that Kentucky team. And then we get to the tournament not only in the Sweet 16, but he beats Bill Self and Patino on the way. This is a grand slam of a year that Cal Bar he's had.
Stugotz
How do I turn him down a little in the morning? What do I need? What do I need to do to turn the zaslo down a little bit?
Jonathan Zaslow
I'm going to be honest with you. I think I'm at exactly the right level right now.
Stugotz
Yeah, he needs the energy.
Billy
He's doing good. I mean, this is morning. He's here.
Dan LeBatard
Why would you want to do that?
Stugotz
I'll tell you why. Thank you for asking. The games weren't worthy of that kind of enthusiasm that the enthusiasm that he is presently showing for this weekend's games. This weekend's Games were a disappointment.
Jonathan Zaslow
Here's the thing though. I like what happened. I don't like the, all the upsets. I don't like all this. And I would like some madness. You know, we got the madness.
Stugotz
There was no madness.
Jonathan Zaslow
Maryland was the only madness.
Stugotz
There was no. Okay, that was madness.
Jonathan Zaslow
Right? That was it.
Stugotz
There wasn't enough madness.
Jonathan Zaslow
There was not enough madness. But I don't like all the upsets. I like when the big teams win. I want the huge matchups in the sweet 16. I don't need a 12 versus an 8 in the sweet 16. I want the great games next weekend. And that's what we're getting now. I was fine with this weekend.
Stugotz
Okay, I want to talk about a couple of the college basketball stories, but because this is the local hour and I know one of the reasons that Zaz is fired up is that he doesn't like the people are taking shots at Pat Riley. I would imagine so.
Jonathan Zaslow
Fight somebody. Fight me.
Stugotz
As I mentioned. So the Miami heat break a 10 game losing streak, the longest since 2008 last night. Oh, that's what it looks like when you trade for Andrew Wiggins. Okay, that's what that was supposed to look like.
Dan LeBatard
That guy's a pretty Good scorer, huh?
Stugotz
42 points. And against Charlotte in a game that means absolutely nothing. But that would help in the fourth quarter over the last month, over the 10 losses. That's not the Wiggins that we have seen. That is not the Heat we have seen. The thing that I wanted to ask you guys about though, because I'm sure as I, I can feel Jessica drift off to sea and I don't even blame her on just Miami Heat talk because I don't think anybody, I don't think.
Billy
Well, it's a big game. It brought him to 11 games under 500.
Stugotz
I, that for that reason I don't believe that anybody wants to hear Heat talk. However, tomorrow there is a game that Jimmy Butler is saying is just another game that he's already been spotted in Miami playing domino and Zaz was scared of going into that game on an 11 game losing streak on national TV.
Jonathan Zaslow
Games on TNT tomorrow. Yeah, you think anyone be talking about that? Jimmy Butler coming in, They've lost like a game since acquiring him and the heat on an 11 game losing skid. You think I need that in my life?
Stugotz
So this is where we are with the, the Miami Heat. And I am torn though because about the only thing worth talking about, like none of these games matter. Like we're going to talk about Jimmy Butler, Denver. Houston was interesting yesterday and nobody cares. Like, basketball people care. Basketball people are like, oh, that's an amazing story in Houston. Oh, Odoka just gets to turn it around like that. We never find out what actually happened. He cleans it up and he goes and he fixes Houston. But Denver's better and Denver's a champion. And we all think Denver can win the championship, while none of us think that Houston can win the championship. But the sport is run at the moment by storyline, by drama, by. Because that regular season game doesn't matter, because it doesn't matter whether Houston or Denver is two or three. We could talk about it, but it doesn't matter. And. And so people latch on to the stuff. Like, Jimmy's back in town. You're mad at people who are coming after Pat Riley. Yeah.
Jonathan Zaslow
And I'll give you a storyline, by the way. Headline tomorrow night on tnt. They could steal it from me if they want. Warriors Owen 1 over their last game, Heat 1 and. Oh, you want a storyline.
Dan LeBatard
Those are just facts.
Jonathan Zaslow
Lead with that.
Stugotz
That's not a good one.
Dan LeBatard
Team's hot one. Team's not. Dano, be fair.
Stugotz
That's not a good lead.
Jonathan Zaslow
Be fair. No, I am mad because you know, what's. You're. You have everyone out there on their podcast or Everybody's got a podcast. Everyone's got a podcast, don't you? And yes, but I'm a professional broadcaster. All right, everyone's got a podcast also because Miami radio kicked me out, so I got a podcast. All right, and everybody's got a podcast now. And everyone is taking potshots at Pat Riley. It's like, all right, we've all been waiting, apparently, for the opportunity to finally be super critical and put Pat Riley out to pasture. Apparently. And it should. You know how you know that everybody's been waiting because the Heat were in the finals two years ago. It's not like they were in the finals 22 years ago. They were in the finals two years ago. So the very first opportunity to take a shot at Pat Riley, everybody's doing it now, and I don't like it.
Stugotz
All right, so we've got plenty of Heat homers around here. I should explain to the people who may be new to us, as Zas has to explain to his 16 year old son, who David Sampson is, that Zaz is not just a Miami radio legend. I would nominate him for honorary shipping container member. Because when 790 started, when all of us started in radio, Zaz was there the first day. Original employee Was there the first day doing what the shipping container would do for us. For Boog. For Boogie. And so I believe that ZSAS is worthy of being an honorary shipping container member. Tony shakes his head vigorously.
Jonathan Zaslow
No, it's just when you know I'm sitting right here.
Tony
Right, I know. I'm gonna explain it to you. I think you're gonna agree with me. Which is why you can't be a shipping container member. Right. You sit on that side of the glass.
Billy
Exactly.
Tony
We sit on this side.
Billy
System.
Tony
It's a class system.
Billy
It's a demotion for you.
Tony
You don't sit here and do your show here. You sit there and do your show there. So there's kind of a separation.
Stugotz
Well, wait. No, no, wait a minute, wait a minute. Like Amin. If you give Amin his choice, he would rather be in there. It's all. It's.
Tony
I mean is. Though Amin is a shipping container member. That's. That's the difference also.
Jonathan Zaslow
I'm above Amin, you're saying.
Tony
No, I mean splits time. But he's honorary here.
Stugotz
Stugat is also in the shipping container also. Yes, I would say it's a. It's a. I'm. When I say honorary shipping container member, I'm bestowing upon him an honor from a group I have found historically distrustful about allowing others into the inner circle. It takes a minute. Nobody's ever arrived here and just gets to be good with the shipping container.
Jonathan Zaslow
Trust me, I do.
Tony
I do have a story about Zaz I've never mentioned on air ever. This is. This is actually a really good story.
Jonathan Zaslow
This is fun now. It's exciting.
Tony
Okay, so I used to work at seven nineties as a. As a promotion assistant. Right?
Jonathan Zaslow
You did, yeah. This is not. Reflect well on me already. Well, he was employed.
Billy
He was employed as a promotion assistant. The working is.
Tony
I mean, I did my job. We went to like a car dealership. And I would have to spin the wheel and, you know, all that stuff.
Stugotz
A hustler. You were. These were the beginnings, you know me. The beginnings of the Kalalud Hustle.
Tony
Exactly.
Dan LeBatard
Right.
Stugotz
Passed down from your father.
Tony
All of a sudden we're. We're coming back from, I don't know, Tropical Chevrolet, somewhere far away, right? We get there, it's nighttime. It's a Heat game. And in the studio, I peek through. There used to be. In the 790 studio. There was a window like this big through the door. It was like a submarine door. And I looked in and they were on break. And it was Zaslow And Tommy Tide. And I was like, oh, my God. I was like, oh, my God. I can't believe it's Zaslo and Tommy.
Stugotz
Ty, Tony. Did it or did it not look like. Look, Radio.
Tony
Smelled like radio.
Billy
You should have walked down the other hallway. There's a giant glass. There's like a fish tank.
Tony
Well, yeah, but I wanted to, like, look into where the studio was. So, like, I was there. And then I kind of poke my head in. And at the same time, Zaz is. Is trying to throw a paper away. So he's shooting like a garbage jump shot where I'm opening the door. So as I open the door, the garbage flings at me. It misses me, it hits the. You made the shot, by the way. Made it. And I'm like, hey, Zaz. Hey, Tommy.
Jonathan Zaslow
Just.
Tony
Big fan, whatever. Didn't say anything. And then just.
Jonathan Zaslow
No, I do not believe that.
Billy
Screw you.
Tony
He had the headphones on, so I don't know if he heard me or not. I didn't know if he was.
Jonathan Zaslow
Okay, important detail. You said I had the headphones on. All right, come on. There's no way that I would just straight.
Stugotz
Regardless, getting back to the original content, He's. It's only in a nerve there.
Tony
I'm just saying I had never threw garbage at you.
Jonathan Zaslow
That was garbage that was ignored.
Stugotz
Hey, I'm a big fan. I'm a big.
Tony
Oh, my God, it's John.
Stugotz
Garbage you throw garbage at doesn't speak to you. That's the headline.
Tony
Yeah.
Stugotz
Who does qualify as an honorary shipping container member? Mina. Has she ever even been in a shipping container? Yeah, she did. Roy's Rome. Okay. Oh, that's right. Forgive me. My apologies.
Jonathan Zaslow
I actually turned to Tommy Tighe. I said, show him out, Please.
Stugotz
Don'T make eye contact, kid, and get out of here.
Mike Ryan
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Tony
Don LeBatard to US residents.
Stugotz
Oh, wow. It's in there.
Tony
You think I haven't been practicing stugats?
Stugotz
I didn't realize we had a substitute. Complicated legacy brought to you.
Tony
Quarter Toyota 441 power line road second down to nine.
Billy
This is the D Ler show with the St.
Stugotz
Jeremy was doing his reports from the game yesterday and I saw him report reporting on behalf of advancing through dancing. He was, he was effervescent. Jeremy is bubbly as a sideline reporter. Perpetual enthusiasm.
Dan LeBatard
Yeah, I bring the energy, Dano. You know, it's my job to make sure that as the heater on a 10 game losing streak, that that's not reflected in the broadcast. We're here for, for people to have a great time to enjoy each individual game. And if I can put a smile on somebody's face, I'm going to do that with my energy and my smiling face.
Stugotz
Well, okay, so. And this is where it is called Heat homers. And a criticism that was levied at me here recently, as it regards Pat Riley, is when I was saying that I got aggregated for saying around here that Jimmy's unstable ingredient had made it so that when he left the Heat organization, there was a relief in the building. And a lot of people, and I understand why they would make this criticism, suggested that I'm just doing mouthpiece work on behalf of executives when I say that. But I wasn't even talking about executives. I was talking about employees. I'm not even talking about the players. I was just talking about like relief in the building. That, that, that whatever that tension was, I was talking to simply about the funny thing about the report and it getting aggregated is that people naturally assumed, oh, Pat Riley's whimpering to Dan about how bad Jimmy was at the end. And it's like, no, I just talk. I know people who work there and they were like, really uncomfortable. Not. Not just at the end, long before the end, because of whatever it is. Like, I don't even know, to work in the secrecy of that building where you're not allowed to say anything about anything to anybody. That basketball is this supreme holy thing that can't be touched. And whatever Jimmy's doing in that setting, Jimmy's getting whatever he wants.
Jonathan Zaslow
I ran into someone from the Heat at the beginning of the season, the very beginning of the season, someone who I see all the time when I was on the broadcast. How you doing? Good to see you. How's everything going? Answered him, and the answer was, everything's all right, you know, staying with Jimmy. And this was the very beginning of the season. Before anything became public with him being angry, his answer was, yeah, I mean, it's good just, you know, dealing with Jimmy.
Stugotz
Okay, so one of the things, though, because I don't want to do revisionist history here, not only did that win, putting the coal in that furnace of conflict like this is, this one, to me, is super, like, super rich for study. Whatever you believe to be that organization over the last 20 years, it thrived in a way that would be really uncomfortable, I think, for most human beings in conflict. Okay, I would not call it a toxic workplace, but there is a boss over the conflict, and the conflict is fuel. The conflict's not bad. The conflict makes everyone who's fighting over money in minutes better. The conflict makes everyone stronger. But you wouldn't want to work around it. And the best of it was Jimmy. And Jimmy wanted to fight. UD and SPO wanted to fight Jimmy, and whatever the manifestations of that are every day. I don't think I'd like to work around it. I think I would crumble around it now. I'm weaker than the people in these workplaces. One of the reasons I love studying the arena is because, my God, they're all bigger, stronger, faster. They're all. They're all speeding up, learning, fighting for money on what the height of competition is, where you've got to earn your shit. You got to earn. You got to. You've got to hunt and kill what you eat for your family. And it's the top 1% of the top 1%. And conflict is the place you're going to get there, and we're going to contain it for culture for five years. We're going to ride that particular locomotive, and then it explodes, and what you're left with is a relief, but also losing, but also, you're terrible. So now what? Like, what what do you do as a sports fan to put the two things together where you can say, no, man, Whatever Jimmy was doing, maybe it wasn't professional. Maybe you didn't like it. Maybe you didn't like it only when you couldn't totally harness it. But whatever he was doing was the winning, like at the center of it. It was him and he took it with him.
Jonathan Zaslow
Yeah, but I feel like. I feel like the way that you're. You're phrasing it is that the Heat were, we're done with it and that's why Jimmy's gone. No, the Heat were totally good with it still happening. Jimmy's the one who made them get rid of him. Like, he was under contract for this season and essentially next season as well. The Heat, by all accounts, wanted him to play out that entire contract.
Stugotz
My point is, in the age of player empowerment, what happens when you can't harness the conflict? It's all fine when you can harness the conflict. Whatever UD and Jimmy might fight with spo. It's good video. It doesn't matter. That was long time ago. Like, what happens when you can't harness it? I've told you guys the story before. Shaq wanted to fight Riley. They escorted him out with security like they always do with employees. But Shaq wanted to fight Riley. He wasn't allowed back in the minute building, Riley will say, of a conflict with Alonzo Mourning, where it seemed like Alonzo Mourning was going to punch his coach. Cuz there was. They were face to face. You can say bleep you to me. Just teach me something when that's an environment. I'm legitimately asking you guys what happens when you can't harness the conflict.
Billy
You trade him and the team falls apart. Because the culture is really just nonsense to sell season tickets. It's all about the talent. And when you get rid of the most talented players on your team, you have off seasons that are not good and seasons that are bad.
Stugotz
You're going to take that, Zazlo?
Jonathan Zaslow
I mean, like, it's an argument that we can go round and round about. I feel like you're saying it just to aggravate me that the culture is just something to sell tickets.
Dan LeBatard
Welcome to my world, my friend.
Jonathan Zaslow
Like, you're just trying to get under my skin here. You're not talking about a franchise, Billy. You're not talking about a franchise that's been terrible for several years. Yes, this has been a bad year. And I kind of feel like I'm willing to give them the benefit of the doubt to fix it in the off season. Now, I think this is a huge off season. I think it's an off season like maybe they've never had before because of the conversation around the team. But it's one bad season that they've had now.
Billy
Well, because they're. But they got rid of their star. That's what I'm saying is the culture exists when you have.
Jonathan Zaslow
And they'll get another one.
Billy
Yeah. And then the culture will be back.
Dan LeBatard
Yeah.
Jonathan Zaslow
They'll get enough.
Billy
It's just talent.
Jonathan Zaslow
Well, it's. It's hard to, you know, it's hard to do this when you don't have anyone, any good players. They'll get another star. They've had. That's. How many different iterations of, you know, winning teams have they had with Pat Riley there. They've done it over and over again. They're going to do it again. They'll get someone else this off season.
Dan LeBatard
The reality is too, like the emotional baggage of all of this and Andrew Wiggins missing half the game since he showed up, they. They haven't been able to get into a GR. Been. It's been one bad season. But to act like, like Jimmy was maximized by this group and sort of the revisionist history because they didn't make certain transactions. I think that's the weird part of this, is Jimmy played the best basketball of his career and the most winning basketball of his career with SPO as his coach, with Bam as his co star, and with all of the surrounding pieces that they had. This isn't. This is just what happened. And so to look back at it now and act like he brought something to the organization and then took it with him when he left, that was never there before.
Jonathan Zaslow
Worst, it was 50. 50.
Dan LeBatard
Right. It was a great partnership. That's why there's so many people around the organization and within the fan base who are so frustrated by the things he said after the last warriors game. Sort of dismissing it as just like a cute little time that he had with some friends when he still hasn't said anything about the guys that were his co stars. I think most people are frustrated by the fact that, you know, he still hasn't said anything about a guy like Bam who. Who took every single bullet that you could imagine while Jimmy was there as sort of his shield, the way Draymond is for Steph.
Jonathan Zaslow
I do wonder all the little things. I do wonder what that was like behind the scenes, because one of my. Well, I mean, something that I feel like is fair to be critical of Bam about when Jimmy was still here this year and Bam's the captain, it's like, why are you allowing this behavior? Why? If you're heat culture guy and you're an extension of the coach and you're an extension of Pat Riley and you're the captain of the team. Like, I don't feel like you, Donnis Haslam is allowing Jimmy Butler to go out into the game and shoot one legged fade away three pointers again. But I don't know what's happening behind this.
Stugotz
Well, but again I ask you what happens when you can't harness the conflict. Bam lived in service of Jimmy. Yep.
Jonathan Zaslow
Like, that's what it looks like.
Stugotz
Well, no, but I mean that and, and was rewarded for it. I mean, Bam does what PR asks him to do. Bam is great team spokesman. Bam is nice. Bam. Bam is, is also not as aggressive as you'd like him to be.
Jonathan Zaslow
But if you're the captain of the team, how are you allowing a guy to be on the floor with you and actively not try?
Billy
What's he going to do?
Jonathan Zaslow
Bothers me.
Tony
Fight him when he's better than you. There's nothing. You.
Billy
Yeah. What are you going to do? Like, that's, that's why, like, from the, like, perspective, that's why they roll their eyes at the whole culture stuff. Because the culture exists as long as the superstar wants to indulge it and participate in the, in, in the culture. He did not want to be participating in the culture. And like, to what you guys are saying, everyone behind the scenes, like, well, we just have to kind of put up with whatever Jimmy's doing.
Dan LeBatard
So.
Billy
Dealing with him. Yeah. So like, then there's not actually a culture.
Dan LeBatard
No, they, I mean, they built a culture around what they did. They maximized the player, they maximized all of the other guys around him. That work ethic never left those guys. And, and Jimmy was there working that way until they brought in his friend in Kyle Lowry. And then those guys separated themselves from the locker room.
Jonathan Zaslow
You guys act like people don't work.
Billy
Hard on other teams to make rosters. Like, that's the part I don't understand about this.
Dan LeBatard
I mean, you can look around the entire NBA, there's nobody who has taken as many second round picks in the last decade and turned them into serviceable NBA players. They've gotten contracts elsewhere and with the team, like, it's, it's silly to put it down as nothing, but also hyping it up as if it's the only thing that matters and that talent doesn't matter would be short sighted. Like I am not saying that they don't need better players on the roster to be able to compete for championships, but it's been about the little things that allow you to be a five seed in the bubble that makes the run to the finals, that allows you to be an eight seed that makes the run to the finals. That's where you can hang your hat on it and you can laugh at it. And by the way, if you're nationally listening to this, you probably should because this will be the one opportunity to do so we don't. Because they'll come back.
Stugotz
Well, you're totally right. And I know you were talking to just me. I know, but you're totally right. There's no need to hang a hat on that.
Tony
Yeah, why we hanging hat?
Billy
I can't LeBron just have his cookies fly in the plane. You just chocolate.
Jonathan Zaslow
You know that story. Bullshit. Come on.
Billy
Oh, LeBron.
Jonathan Zaslow
Get out of here.
Billy
Why would he make that up?
Jonathan Zaslow
Why would Pat Riley, who doesn't travel with a team, sent a text message to the. To the. To the servers on the plane and say no more Cookies.
Billy
Culture.
Jonathan Zaslow
Talking about.
Stugotz
Billy actually moved away from the microphone as if something had exploded nearby just because he looked. Look, I would like to play these particular notes for the next two days, Billy, because I know you can get zaslow easily agitated and you haven't had one.
Billy
That's not what I'm doing. We're just having a conversation about the heat, the culture, the cookies, etc.
Jonathan Zaslow
It's Monday morning. I feel good about the tournament. I feel good about the Panthers. Yesterday the Heat snapped that streaks. They don't have to go into tomorrow.
Billy
With the last one.
Jonathan Zaslow
That's right. I said that. That's my. I own that statement and you get me riled up over nonsense here. Cookies. You know that story's not true. It's stupid.
Billy
Dan reported it was ice cream that they took away from LeBron.
Jonathan Zaslow
Took away.
Stugotz
It was ice cream.
Billy
He was like had a spoonful he was about to put in his mouth and flight attendant slapped it out of his hand and they threw the. They opened the emergency exit and threw the ice cream carton out the airplane.
Stugotz
No, that's not what. How that happened. I remember. Okay, I understand. But that's always because you're here to help.
Dan LeBatard
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Tony
All right, I.
Jessica
Know I gotta do this ad read, but hold on, let me reapply. Did you hear that?
Stugotz
Yep.
Jessica
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Stugotz
Don LeBatard.
Billy
We didn't get to your guys's against this. You're right.
Jonathan Zaslow
You're right.
Billy
You're right.
Stugotz
I don't have it against the spread because I wasn't prepared for this segment.
Billy
You need an Ian in your life.
Stugotz
You have actively played defense against me today in a way that has rarely been this undercutting stugats.
Billy
Defense wins championships, Bab. That's show business. This is the Dan Levatar show with the stugats.
Stugotz
My wife this weekend describes Santa as sexy because he just runs around giving you gifts, and all needs is cookies. You. You just made me think of that because you brought up cookies. And she's also got a type, obviously. Yeah, I'm. I'm better shaped here for Santa than anybody in our. In our offices. Correct. Yes. You're the biggest person here just to. No, for Santa. Biggest. I'm just saying that Danny would be a good Santa.
Billy
Yeah. Short Santa, but short.
Stugotz
No, but Santa. I don't feel.
Tony
It's got to be big, Shanta.
Stugotz
Yeah, I feel like. Yeah, doesn't he.
Tony
He's got to carry the big how tall to Santa?
Stugotz
How. How salt is. How tall does Santa have to be? He can't be Danny's size.
Billy
Why?
Stugotz
Because Danny's like five five.
Tony
It's got to be six foot plus. Santa's got to be over six feet, 65 inches.
Jonathan Zaslow
I don't envision Santa's this giant. You're making him.
Stugotz
Doesn't have to be a giant. He just can't be 5 5. Put it on the pole at le show.
Billy
Can Santa be five small to get into chimneys?
Tony
No, but he. He can contort his body in a different way.
Billy
That's.
Tony
That's the whole thing. Different story. I'm saying Danny is 5 5.
Stugotz
Well, how tall is Danny? I don't know how tall. He just said. That's correct in my ear. Thank you.
Jonathan Zaslow
Okay.
Stugotz
You're right. You work with this person, and so I.
Tony
And so, Dan, you got a good gauge for height.
Stugotz
Well, but I think everyone listening to this would agree with the premise and would say to me, dan, you are correct. My child cannot believe in a 5.5Santa. Even if my child is small and wants to have representation in the world, Santa can't be five'five Also, he can't.
Tony
Be five five, because then it feels like the elves would kind of rebel if they saw Santa as a little bit taller than them. They'd be like, hey, wait a second. You're not telling us what to do.
Billy
Wait, how tall. How tall are they?
Tony
Small.
Jonathan Zaslow
Tell you what a Jewish Santa would be five'five yeah, that's right.
Stugotz
Put it on the poll at Levitage show. Would a Jewish Santa be five'five Janta. So Michigan was eight and 24 with Juwan Howard. That was kind of a really nice story. And then it wasn't. And next thing you know, I'm watching seven footers set screens for each other. And Michigan is the sweet 16 because they. They got. They did the thing. They got hot at the right time.
Tony
Dusty May, good coach.
Stugotz
They ran. They were. Yes, there's that.
Billy
Tim Allen's 510. He played Santa.
Stugotz
Okay, that's a good height form. That's a good height for Santa.
Billy
Going to look for the shortest Santa's.
Stugotz
And when I do word association on Tim Allen, I do cocaine trafficking. Ended up in prison just because it was so shocking to me to learn that the guy who was on Home Improvement did. Did a ride in prison over cocaine sales.
Billy
I think a Woody from Toy Story, but two Americans.
Stugotz
Two Americans.
Tony
Two Americans.
Stugotz
I just was. Jeremy. Just surprised by that. Jeremy.
Dan LeBatard
I learned that on a podcast like a month ago and simply could not believe it because also, like Billy Woody or Santa Claus.
Tony
I was gonna say Woody is not.
Dan LeBatard
Oh, Buzz Lightyear.
Tony
Right?
Dan LeBatard
Yeah, yeah, yeah, right, right. Woody's Tom Hanks. Of course. You know what? My mistake, I think of the mug.
Tony
Shot, Dan, where it's like him holding like the little letters that they put into like that thing, and he's holding it there like that, like a Hawaiian shirt on or something. Right?
Jonathan Zaslow
Would never cat Woody doing lines. That's why you can't be Woody.
Stugotz
I would love a Google Doc or something or just a phone line where people can call in with facts that shock them like that. Because you all have them. You all have these little things that you learned about people. And I'd like to go around the room right now. In fact, if you guys needed to surprise somebody by saying to them, you know, you're having a conversation about whatever and you've got a fact in your arsenal, that would be that you learned. And it was shocking for you to learn, and then you felt the need to share it with somebody, I should give you more time than this and more preparation. That'd be great.
Billy
Here's one.
Stugotz
Tim Allen made me think of it because I always say it when Tim Allen makes an appearance. I. It's the first thought. It's the first thought that I have.
Billy
Ed Asner was 5, 7, he played Santa Claus.
Stugotz
Ed Asner is pushing. He's pushing it. He was pushing it. The late Ed Asner. And. And Lou Grant struck me as taller than that. Like he. He played bigger. He repped Lou Grant.
Tony
It's like Draymond Green. He plays over his size.
Stugotz
Yes, Ed Asner played bigger than. Put it on the poll at Levitage Show. Did Ed Asner play bigger than 5, 7, defending Giannis?
Billy
Like, ah.
Stugotz
I mean, he did. He. He would. Oh, that's a.
Mike Ryan
That's a fine.
Stugotz
That is so amateur.
Tony
That's why you can't be an honorary shipping container. Remember, we know back here.
Stugotz
Amateur mistakes.
Tony
Dan, have a top five for honorary shipping container members?
Stugotz
Oh, you have a top. Oh, this is very exciting. Yes, I would love a top five.
Billy
Are you a member, buddy? Tracy Morgan's five nine. He played Santa.
Stugotz
Any Oli?
Tony
No Oli. We'll get straight to it. Number five, Taylor.
Dan LeBatard
Seems to always be.
Tony
Hanging out underneath the desk here. If you live here, you're an honorary member.
Stugotz
Billy, did you vote on that?
Billy
No, it's not his list.
Tony
It's my list.
Stugotz
Okay? Sorry.
Tony
Number four. We got to pay homage to the ones that came before us. Old money Charlie. Old money Charlie at four. Number three, Izzy. Izzy spends a lot of time here in the shipping container. We're very happy with Izzy. He does occasionally go to the other side of the glass when he needs to, but he's. His home is here in the shipping container with us. Number two, I mean, also a guy that can play both sides, right? He's here with us, and then he goes in with Dan when he needs to and be Mr. Serious Guy, but then he come back here and play with us when. When it's convenient for him.
Stugotz
He's playing both sides.
Tony
Playing both sides.
Stugotz
Playing both sides.
Tony
And number one, Bobby.
Billy
Good list.
Stugotz
Okay. It's not a bad list. But the reason that I wanted to do it, because some of those people are actually in and out of the shipping container. I was thinking of the entire story of going back to first day 7 90. Not even Sedano goes back that far. I'm trying to go back and grab the people who would know the story of this show from the inside of it, as if they were. As if they were a shipping container member. Because that's why I'm nominating Zaslo. I'm nominating Zaslo because he. He understands the specifics of how we do our show, all of it, without needing to be taught any of it.
Tony
So Andy King.
Stugotz
Nobody knows who that is. Not even in the shipping container. Andy King, you're right about. But two people. You just mentioned a name that you'd be outvoted in your room by people who simply don't know who you're talking about. Well, he was originally the executive producer before HOT came in and became. But I'm also talking about. And forgive me for making all of the rules and definitions on this, but somebody that you guys would also respect enough as having understood what it is to do your job, so you would welcome that person in. Look, this is what happens. One of the things that happens in the friendships around our show or community is people meet immediately. And because they have the show as language, they can take a shortcut to. Oh, we like some of the same things. Things. That's what I'm talking about. I'm talking about. Zazzle has a life experience that makes. I mean, we learned radio together. We. He learned. And we learned how to do all this in the same place at the same time.
Jonathan Zaslow
Stugotz interviewed me for the job before 790 a ticket went on air. He was the one I interviewed with and hired me.
Billy
Andy King hired me.
Stugotz
It's the guy's hiring me.
Billy
Tim Conway was 5 6, not Santa. Yeah, he was. He played Santa.
Stugotz
He played Santa.
Tony
He's too thin to play Santa.
Stugotz
Okay.
Billy
I mean, I'm looking at a list of.
Stugotz
I'm sorry. I'm sorry we attacked you.
Jonathan Zaslow
You're trying to, though, put me in the shipping container. But I feel like they're saying that I'm. I'm too big for the shipping.
Billy
That's what I. Yeah, that's almost directly.
Stugotz
And. And. And what I'm saying is that they don't like you enough to put you in the shipping container.
Jonathan Zaslow
There is no way I ignored you when you said hello to me.
Tony
You didn't say anything back to me.
Billy
It's a pattern.
Tony
Allows me to think that it's a pattern.
Jonathan Zaslow
I mean, what's the other example?
Billy
You ignored me when I said you weren't in the shipping container, you were above it. That was just today. Tim Conway, by the way, doesn't really count. It was an animated film. Saving Santa 2013. Voice actor.
Stugotz
Well, you could do it if as a voice actor, I guess you could do it, Right? I was. It's okay to be five six.
Billy
He's got a bigger voice than five six. Tim Conway. We can agree, right?
Stugotz
No, I don't think we can agree with that. Oh, but I don't think we also want to do a show about Tim Conway. But if you want to talk about old things, there was one in sports this weekend that I don't want to go too much time more without addressing. Because in my career watching sports figures, rare is the genuine change I saw about what one man was versus one, what he became than the one that happened publicly with George Foreman, where he went from the most feared man in the universe, Mike Tyson before Mike Tyson, to a jolly spokesman for things that you wanted to buy some because. Buy stuff from. Because he was great at the ministry and great at really reaching the everyman by trying to leave. A minister's life, a minister's narcissistic heavyweight life where you have several kids and name all of them, George, including your daughter Georgina. Because he also had like a number of things from his past life that seeped into what some people thought was dehydration, but he said was finding God. And he changed his life from evermore to become a person who America remembers more for the second half of his career and what he invented than for what he did with his athletic gifts were enough that were enough to beat, to frighten Muhammad Ali and to make Muhammad Ali the boxer that he was because and only, only because he was able to beat George Foreman.
Jonathan Zaslow
Yeah, I mean, it's one of the most famous boxing moments ever. Rope a dope. But I feel like, I feel like Barkley's a similar trajectory there where like both of them were super nasty. Like Barkley was a nasty man when he played. And. And a lot of people like my son, my 16 year old son definitely only knows Barkley as the really cool guy, the funny guy who says whatever he wants on tnt. Like Barkley's pretty similar to George Foreman in that regard.
Tony
One of the things you were saying earlier about like the random facts that you know about somebody or something that you bring up, the George Foreman Grill thing is crazy. Have you heard that story before? Do you know?
Stugotz
Oh, thank you. That is excellent producing by you, Tony. Do we have the sound of Hulk Hogan saying they used to share an agent? Is it true that you passed on the George Foreman Grill idea?
H
No, that's not true. I missed the phone call.
Stugotz
What happened? Tell me the story.
H
Well, I mean, you know, I. George Foreman and I had the same agent and my kids were complaining that I was always towards the end of the line picking them up at school. They would get out of school at 3:00 and these soccer moms would start lining up their minivans and talking shop, you know, and so I would come at quarter to 3:15 minutes before my kids get out of school. And I was at the back of the bus. So I went to McDonald's early, got diet Cokes and got the burgers and the fries, and it was a big surprise. I get to the school about quarter after two. I was the first one in line. My kids came out, they were all excited. I had the drinks and the hamburgers and stuff and we went home and I checked my answer machine and my answer machine. My agent called me, goes, hey, Hogan, I'm calling you. I got two things. I got a grill and I got a blender. I got these two choices for you and George. So when I called him back, my agent says, well, I called you first and I figured you'd take the grill, but you weren't home. So I called George and he took the grill. So four, $450 million later, we've got the George Foreman Grill in every size and color you can imagine. And I got the blender that you put 8 ounces of water, a scoop of protein, and a AA battery in it. It'd spin three times and fart and cut off.
Dan LeBatard
Hey, friends, it's Jerra Baer here and I'm here to tell you all about Boost Mobile, which is now a legit nationwide 5G network. So I must take a break from the jokes here for a second and put on my serious voice, because I would never, ever joke about a 5G network that has invested billions building 5G towers across the country. Not even once. Not even if Mr. Boost Mobile himself asked me to. There is nothing funny about it. Boost Mobile is now a legit nationwide 5G network and also provides coverage across 99% of America.
Billy
Seriously?
Dan LeBatard
Seriously. Visit boostmobile.com or your nearest Boost Mobile store location to learn more. The Boost Mobile network, together with our roaming partners, covers 99% of the US population. 5G speeds not available in all areas.
Host: Dan Le Batard
Co-Hosts: Stugotz, Jonathan Zaslow, Tony, Billy
Additional Contributors: Jessica, Mike Ryan
The episode kicks off with a light-hearted exchange about selling cars, setting a casual and humorous tone. Stugotz initiates the conversation by inquiring about Tony's car sale, leading to a brief discussion on the convenience of using Carvana's services. This segment serves as an icebreaker, showcasing the camaraderie among the hosts.
The initial minutes feature typical podcast ad reads, including promotions for Cuervo Tequila and other products. Stugotz engages amusingly with the advertisements, repeatedly emphasizing the brand name “Cuervo,” which adds a layer of humor and showcases the hosts’ ability to maintain their personalities amidst commercial breaks.
The hosts transition into discussing workplace dynamics, specifically referencing their in-house vacation policies and attendance issues. Stugotz expresses confusion over the inconsistent vacation policies, highlighting the disparity between employees who can frequently take time off and those who cannot. This sets the stage for a deeper discussion on team culture and management practices.
Jonathan Zaslow’s interaction introduces a humorous critique of the team’s internal policies, with playful jabs about missing team members and the overall work environment. This segment underscores the importance of a cohesive team culture and the challenges of maintaining it.
The conversation shifts focus to March Madness, where Tony voices his disappointment over the lack of upsets and buzzer-beaters, stating, “I don't like that we get this once a year... there hasn't been a ton of upsets.” Stugotz echoes this sentiment, critiquing teams like St. John's and Arkansas for poor shooting performances, declaring, “They can’t shoot threes and they can’t shoot free throws.”
Jonathan Zaslow praises Calipari’s coaching success, highlighting Arkansas’s unexpected victories and his admiration for the coach’s strategic prowess. The discussion delves into the impact of coaching decisions on team performance, with particular emphasis on the significance of three-point shooting in college basketball.
Notable Quote:
A substantial portion of the episode is dedicated to analyzing the Miami Heat’s recent performance and the trade for Andrew Wiggins. Stugotz critiques the Heat’s 10-game losing streak, attributing it to ineffective integration of Wiggins into the team. He remarks, “That is not the Wiggins that we have seen,” questioning the overall strategy and its execution.
Jonathan Zaslow counters by emphasizing Jimmy Butler’s influence on the team, suggesting that Butler’s presence is pivotal despite the losing streak. The hosts debate the effectiveness of team dynamics and leadership, particularly focusing on Pat Riley’s management style and its repercussions on team morale and performance.
Notable Quotes:
Stugotz delves deeper into the concept of conflict within sports teams, using the Miami Heat as a case study. He discusses the challenges of managing player conflicts and the impact of such tensions on team performance. Stugotz highlights historical instances, such as Shaq’s desire to confront Pat Riley, to illustrate how unresolved conflicts can destabilize a team's culture.
Jonathan Zaslow counters by suggesting that the Heat’s issues are more about management decisions rather than inherent team conflicts. The debate underscores the complexity of team dynamics and the delicate balance required to maintain a winning culture.
Notable Quotes:
The conversation takes a whimsical turn as Stugotz introduces the concept of “Honorary Shipping Container Members,” a humorous nod to long-time contributors and insiders of the show. The hosts engage in playful banter, discussing fictional criteria for membership and sharing anecdotes about past experiences with colleagues like Jonathan Zaslow and Billy.
This segment highlights the close-knit nature of the podcast team and their ability to infuse humor into discussions about workplace hierarchies and long-term collaborations.
Notable Quote:
In a blend of humor and nostalgia, the hosts share stories about sports figures like George Foreman and their unique ventures outside the sports arena. Stugotz narrates a fictional tale about Hulk Hogan supposedly passing on the George Foreman Grill deal, adding an element of absurdity and entertainment to the show.
This light-hearted exchange serves to break the intensity of earlier discussions, allowing listeners to enjoy relatable and amusing stories about famous personalities.
Notable Quote:
Towards the end of the episode, Dan Le Batard delivers a promotional ad for Boost Mobile, maintaining the show’s balance between content and commercial segments. Following the ad, the hosts return to playful discussions about Santa’s height and other humorous topics, wrapping up the episode on a jovial note.
The final moments emphasize the hosts’ chemistry and their ability to seamlessly transition between serious analysis and light-hearted banter, leaving listeners entertained and engaged.
Tony (06:14): "I got my wife being like, are you really going to watch college basketball? Like, yeah, babe, it's March. That's what I do in March."
Stugotz (10:21): “That would help in the fourth quarter over the last month, over the 10 losses.”
Stugotz (24:03): “I think what happens when you can’t harness the conflict... you don’t have anyone, any good players. They’ll get another star.”
Hulk Hogan (45:53): “When I called him back, my agent said, well, I called you first and I figured you’d take the grill, but you weren’t home. So I called George and he took the grill.”
This episode of "The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz" masterfully blends in-depth sports analysis with engaging humor and personal anecdotes, providing listeners with a comprehensive and entertaining experience even if they haven't tuned in live.