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Dan LeBatard
You're listening to Giraffe Kings Network.
Stugotz
Stugach. I want to tell you a story. I'm serious here. My wife and my two daughters, they begged me to buy a peloton. So I bought a peloton and then I watched that peloton sit in my office and stare at me. So you know what I did one day? I looked at it and so I decided to get off my ass and I jumped on the peloton because no one else was using it and I paid for it. I mean, so why not? Then I realized eventually that they bought it for me. And I got to tell you, way more challenging than I could have ever imagined. Peloton coaches are walking the walk. I love the coaches. I do the Grateful Dead one. It's fantastic. They have a sub three hour marathon runner, military trained athlete, a former college basketball player, and so many other well rounded coaches on their team. All this experience really shows in their classes, which are never short of challenging, especially for me. So I jumped on it that first time. It was challenging, more challenging than I thought. And then I wanted to beat the bike and so I kept jumping on it. And I absolutely love it. I mean I'm the only one who uses it, but again, they got it for me. I mean I had no idea. That's a little passive aggressive that you think. Find your push, Find your power with peloton@1peloton.com Folks, the playoff season is here and the only thing better than the game day predictions are the foods that come with them. Introducing Tom's Fantasy Food Ball Pool brought to you by Tums, America's number one anti asset brand and DraftKings each week leading up to the big game, turn football into football by building your best game day plate for a shot at winning a share of $40,000 in cash prizes. Inspired by game day bites and tailgate treats. Join the Tums foodball action during this playoff season's most heartburn inducing times. Visit draftkings.com tumspoodball between January 6th and February 9th to enter for free and and select your game day plate before the start of each playoff round. Age and eligibility restrictions apply. Void where prohibited. See terms@draftkings.com tumsfoodball when you feel the.
Andrew Hawkins
Heat of the game, don't let the.
Stugotz
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Andrew Hawkins
This is the Dan Levator show with the Stugats podcast.
Mike Ryan
I would like to understand because I've been asking Andrew Hawkins here for a while to please teach me how to be a boss. I don't know how to be a boss. I don't understand how to be a boss. I've got a media company in Miami. Those are difficult. Not many of those ever. It's a little bit hard. Please teach me how to be a boss. And I'm listening to Trevor Noah and Josh Johnson talk about the boss should be voted by employee vote. And I'm thinking I might want to do that around here. Is that a good idea or a bad idea to make the boss? Who would be the boss?
Dan LeBatard
Rose is going to end up winning that. So probably a big mistake. Josh Johnson, the former Marlins pitcher with.
Andrew Hawkins
Trevor Noah quarterback for the Ravens.
Mike Ryan
I think he's talking about America's three Americas. Actually, it's the Daily Show. Guys, I wanted to talk to you about what's going on in Buffalo this weekend because it's one of these seismic, epic games before they get really seismic and epic. And I'm guessing most people listening to this, nobody wants Houston to win because you want the next round to like, Houston is the team everybody in America wants to lose. Get out of here. We want to see the big boys play. And don't, don't sneak up on something and make this not about the Chiefs and that the Ravens or, you know, the Ravens or the Bills have to go through the Chiefs to get past the Chiefs.
Dan LeBatard
It's the Royal Rumble before Wrestlemania. The winner of the Royal Rumble gets to punch his ticket to the main event of WrestleMania. But oftentimes, Royal Rumble is better and more exciting than the main event of WrestleMania. That's what's happening. The Ravens and Bills battling for a shot to finish their story and go through the guy that has been standing in their way for the last few years.
Andrew Hawkins
Damn, that's good. That's it. I mean, the games might get worse as you get to the Super Bowl. We might be less interested every round. Well, but it is possible.
Mike Ryan
But it is possible given that football, maximum footballs and always surprises us and keeps. The super bowl used to stink, used to be terrible. Now everything builds up to the moment where we're like, oh, the football gets real this weekend. Everyone's in agreement. Like, oh, this is. There's no one sneaking in here. Like, get tamp out of here. Get some of these people out of here. There's no.
Dan LeBatard
Don't get Tampa.
Mike Ryan
You guys understand what I'm saying? The point that I want to get to, though, because I find this all to be an imperfect measurement. I don't know whether Buffalo's better than Baltimore. I don't know. I don't. They. So they both seem really, really good. But now you're putting it in the snow, and now it's a real field temperature of negative 3. And I'm like, that's not how I want football to be played.
Dan LeBatard
Oh, shut up. This is how you. This is what the Bills have earned. This is how real football gets played in Buffalo, and they earned it by having a better season. Now the Ravens beat them straight up. Let's see if they can do it again in Buffalo's barn.
Stugotz
Put your hand in the snow.
Andrew Hawkins
Put your hand in the snow. I don't want to watch football in the snow. But it is cool to see the way that it's all shaped up. Like, this is the football that you want. You're neutralizing Lamar Jackson with negative 3 degrees. He's from Pompano.
Mike Ryan
I know.
Andrew Hawkins
So if he overcomes this.
Mike Ryan
I know. That's not what I want to watch.
Andrew Hawkins
What do you.
Dan LeBatard
What do we want to watch about both these teams? The quarterback position. And when you have weather like this, they're incentivized to keep it in their hands and do what they do almost better than anybody else in the league. And that's run the damn ball.
Stugotz
This is great.
Andrew Hawkins
2003. Everything was better in 2003.
Billy Corben
That's crazy.
Mike Ryan
All right.
Andrew Hawkins
Am I right?
Mike Ryan
All right, let me kill. Let me explain something to you guys, because what I'm talking about, I don't want to be sour on the game everyone's sweet on. That's not what I'm doing.
Billy Corben
Sounds like that's what you're doing.
Dan LeBatard
You're going to put a roof on the stadium, and I don't like it. No, not. Not. Not this week, man. This is perfect. The weather actually leans into the strengths of these team. Leans into the best player. We're not calling plays, we're calling players. And that's what both these teams are lining up to do as a hopefully. God, man, it would really suck if Houston ends up beating Kansas City.
Billy Corben
Don't say that.
Dan LeBatard
Because if the, the narrative is Patrick Mahomes is there waiting and watching these two teams battle it out for a chance to take down their boogeyman. It's. Oh man, this is great. This is the biggest game in a long time.
Billy Corben
You guys keep talking about that. I'm going to text Arian Foster right now. He has the script.
Mike Ryan
The part that I don't like about what's happening here, Andrew, is that Mike Ryan is giving a lot of expertise about playoff football, about football in the snow, about real men playing real football. Okay, I hear you. And then I hear on the set of Amazon Prime, Richard Sherman saying when we're talking about playoff football, no offense, Ryan Fitzpatrick, your Ryan Fitzpatrick here. And I'm asking Andrew Hawkins if the point of the games is to measure who's the best. Okay, who's just the best. The year that Aaron Rodgers, the best I've ever seen at that won the super bowl was the year he got to go through only domes. And those playoff numbers were insane because there were no elements. It was a disadvantage for him to play at Lambeau. It was a disadvantage for him to play in the snow because he couldn't be his regular kind of great. Mike Ryan is asking for more and more of Josh Allen and Lamar Jackson. It's a tough position they've given us more and more. I want to see them at their best. I don't want them challenged by the elements because one of them grew up down here with us in this swamp.
Andrew Hawkins
No excuses, Dan. I'm not, I'm not buying it.
Billy Corben
I got a text back from Arian foster. He says C.J. stroud's going to have a hell of a game. But at the end, Mahomes is going to pull it out just like the script demands it. So don't worry guys, we got it.
Dan LeBatard
Dan just wants to change the football calendar. Weather always impacts the playoffs. It always does. And that you overcome that, it's part of the things that you overcome.
Billy Corben
Dan, are you engagement farming right now? I kind of feel like he's engagement farming. We were talking about this outside, about the concept of people saying very kind of outlandish things just cuz they want responses like unpopular opinion. Charles Barkley was better than Michael Porter Jr. And it's like, of course. But like you say unpopular opinion and now everyone goes crazy. And now Dan is doing like the opposite. He said, oh, you know what, it sucks that the snow is happening. These guys should play in a dome.
Dan LeBatard
But the argument that I'm making is the elements actually lean into the Strengths of these two unbelievable talents. At quarterback.
Andrew Hawkins
It's green eggs and ham, okay? And you're like, what the hell does that even mean? 2003 version of Hawk. I'll tell you what it means. It's. Would you. Could you in the snow? I would. I could in the snow. It doesn't matter. That's what playoff football is. Yeah, we want the best to be the best, but it should be any given day, any element. It does not matter if you are truly the best. You line up wherever we're at, whatever the elements are, and I will beat you.
Billy Corben
That's crazy. Killers. Wherever the web. The elements. Where? Wherever they at.
Andrew Hawkins
Wherever they at. Murder.
Billy Corben
Crazy.
Andrew Hawkins
You understand what I'm saying? It doesn't matter.
Stugotz
Anywhere.
Andrew Hawkins
We could do it in Buffalo or Baltimore. Either.
Billy Corben
You say you could do it where?
Andrew Hawkins
Anywhere.
Billy Corben
Oh, whoa.
Andrew Hawkins
Oh. That's crazy.
Billy Corben
That's crazy.
Andrew Hawkins
That's crazy.
Billy Corben
He could do it anyway.
Andrew Hawkins
That's crazy. Murder. Murder. Tell him I had no idea. Mean.
Dan LeBatard
Had that in his locker.
Andrew Hawkins
That might be his best.
Dan LeBatard
That's crazy.
Andrew Hawkins
I'm not kidding. That's crazy. Killer.
Billy Corben
It's two America's dead. You don't get it.
Andrew Hawkins
You talk about this snow murder.
Billy Corben
You ain't afraid of those snow killers. That's.
Andrew Hawkins
Wow, that's wild style.
Mike Ryan
I thought the point of what we were doing in watching on weekends, you guys are telling me it's entertainment. And I'm legitimately saying to you, if we're going to analyze things all season, if we're going to make this all about measurements at all times, who's the best? Is Josh Allen more MVP than LaMar Jackson is MVP?
Dan LeBatard
Oh, yeah. Good storyline, Dan. Keep going. Yeah. That's a great question to ask ourselves.
Mike Ryan
If that's what we're doing around.
Andrew Hawkins
Did you know one was black and one was white?
Mike Ryan
Dan?
Andrew Hawkins
That'll probably get you some engagement.
Billy Corben
What was black and what was white?
Dan LeBatard
There's so much great drama around this game. And to not have it be the game that actually defines your legacy, to just merely get to the game that may define your legacy, it's just insane drama for a divisional round game. It's awesome.
Billy Corben
I do feel bad for the Houston Texans, though, because no one wants him any other circumstance.
Dan LeBatard
Everyone's going for the underdog here. No one. We want to see one of these two teams playing Sunday evening in Buffalo. Get to the point where they have to go through Patrick Mahomes. CJ Shroud ruins that. I will resent him forever.
Andrew Hawkins
My favorite part is the like all the conversation that happens this year about who is the MVP between Lamar, between Josh Allen. Two incredible players have had incredible seasons and for it to culminate in them having to go against each other, I've actually felt like the conversation about them has dropped this week. Almost like everybody who was arguing one side or the other is like, oh, excuse my language, we're gonna find out this week. So I can't say too much because it'll be an immediate, you're wrong. Whereas before it, you could just, oh, this guy's better, this has a better season, they're the better team, this is the better roster. We're gonna find out.
Dan LeBatard
It's a ladder match where the MVP is above the ring, but it also give you an opportunity at the world title.
Andrew Hawkins
Tapping in, you're tapping in, you're tapping in. Everything is wrestling, wrestling. I have a Madden theory about Josh Allen and Lamar that I'd like to share. I kind of teased it a little bit before the show because there's so much, there's so many people and like, hey, I'm a Lamar, Josh Allen is this. And where I am is they are two incredible players, like out of a lab. And then I thought about it and I asked people in the, in the producer room and I said, hey, did you guys play Madden? Did you create a player? And like, yeah, I did. Well, who was your player? And the white guys are like, oh, he was 65230, 99s everywhere. Could run, could throw it across the hundred yards down the field. And then when I was a kid, my quarterback was about 6 2, he was lean, he ran like a wide receiver, he could throw it all over. And I feel like the Madden theory is whoever was your creative player when you were a kid is who you are rooting for between Josh Allen and Lamar Jackson. Because they are two built in lab quarterbacks that you could only access if you had Madden 2003.
Stugotz
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Andrew Hawkins
Yes.
Stugotz
You know what we've been talking about all season long?
Andrew Hawkins
Smirnoff.
Stugotz
Yeah. How'd you guess? I'm a good guesser. You are. They are the official sponsor of the Dan LeBatard show with Stugat, so you already know that. It's an official vodka partner of the NFL. And Super Bowl 59. We're gonna be there.
Andrew Hawkins
Oh, yes. I can't believe we're by 59 already.
Stugotz
Yeah, time flies. It does.
Mike Ryan
Yes.
Andrew Hawkins
We're old.
Billy Corben
I'm old.
Andrew Hawkins
Hey, you know what, Stu? Guys, I was thinking.
Stugotz
Yes.
Andrew Hawkins
Since football season's winding down, Super Bowl's coming up. Super Bowl 59. We've been celebrating football all year. I have an idea. What? Let's do a toast.
Stugotz
Okay. Oh, wow.
Andrew Hawkins
To football.
Stugotz
Really?
Andrew Hawkins
Yeah. Me and you. Let's toast football.
Stugotz
So, just a toast. So we're. We're raising our glasses of Smirnoff.
Andrew Hawkins
Glasses up. Yeah.
Stugotz
All right. And we are toasting. To football.
Andrew Hawkins
To football.
Stugotz
To football, everyone. What we love about Smirnoff is that you can get the world's number one vodka without breaking the bank. This feeling is what the good folks over at Smirnoff call. Billy, you want to take a stab at this? Yes.
Andrew Hawkins
Smirnoff Strawdinary.
Stugotz
Nailed it.
Andrew Hawkins
I told you. I'm a good guesser.
Stugotz
And right now, Smirnoff has partnered with Complex, letting fans get their hands on some amazing items handpicked by celebrities including NFL legend and super bowl champion Vernon Davis for the unbelievable price of $12.99. Just like a bottle of Smirnoff. So head on over to smirnoff drops.com to check out upcoming drops. And check out. Oh, Billy. You want to take a guess again? These Smirnoff Strawdinary items.
Andrew Hawkins
Oh, look at us. What's the website?
Stugotz
It is smirnoffdrop.com Smirnoff. We do game days. Please drink responsibly. Smirnoff number 21 vodka distilled from grain 40 alcohol by volume. The Smirnoff Company, New York, NY. Pricing is at the sole discretion of the retailer and may vary by state. Please do not share with anyone under legal drinking age. Billy.
Andrew Hawkins
Yes.
Stugotz
You know what we've been talking about all season long?
Andrew Hawkins
Smeared off.
Stugotz
Yeah. How'd you guess?
Andrew Hawkins
I knew it.
Stugotz
I'm A good guesser. You are. They are the official sponsor of the Dan LeBatard show with Stugot. So you already know that. It's an official vodka partner of the NFL. And Super Bowl 59. We're gonna be there.
Andrew Hawkins
Oh, yes. I can't believe we're by 59 already.
Stugotz
Yeah, time flies. It does.
Andrew Hawkins
Yes. We're old.
Billy Corben
I'm old.
Andrew Hawkins
Hey, you know what, you guys, I was thinking.
Stugotz
Yes.
Andrew Hawkins
Since football season's winding down, super bowl is coming up. Super Bowl 59. We've been celebrating football all year. I have an idea. What? Let's do a toast. Okay.
Stugotz
Oh, wow.
Andrew Hawkins
To football.
Stugotz
Really?
Andrew Hawkins
Yeah. Me and you. Let's toast football.
Stugotz
So just a toast. So we're raising our glasses of Smirnoff Vodka.
Andrew Hawkins
Yeah.
Stugotz
All right. And we are toasting to football.
Andrew Hawkins
To football.
Stugotz
To football, everyone. What we love about Smirnoff is that you can get the world's number one vodka without breaking the bank. This feeling is what the good folks over at Smirnoff call. Billy, you want to take a stab at this?
Andrew Hawkins
Yes. Smirnoff Strawdinary.
Billy Corben
Nailed it.
Andrew Hawkins
I told you. I'm a good guesser.
Stugotz
And right now, Smirnoff has partnered with Complex, letting fans get their hands on some amazing items handpicked by celebrities including NFL legend and super bowl champion Vernon Davis, for the unbelievable price of $12.99. Just like a bottle of SP smeared off. So head on over to smirnoffdrops.com to check out upcoming drops. And check out I'll bill you. Want to take a guess again? These smearn off extraordinary items.
Andrew Hawkins
Oh, look at us. What's the website?
Stugotz
It is Smirnoff drop dot com. Smirnoff. We do game days. Please drink responsibly. Smirnoff number 21 vodka, distilled from grain 40 alcohol by volume. The Smirnoff Company, New York, New York. Pricing is at the sole discretion of the retailer and may vary by state. Please do not share with anyone under legal drinking age.
Andrew Hawkins
Don LeBatard.
Stugotz
Number three. Chick Fil? A waffle fry.
Dan LeBatard
Yeah, we can get mine.
Billy Corben
Love it.
Stugotz
I mean, no, I think it's an overrated. You guys go ketchup or Chick Fil? A sauce when you have the Chick Fil?
Dan LeBatard
A Polynesian sauce.
Billy Corben
Polynesian. That's my brother right there.
Stugotz
Good call.
Dan LeBatard
You're my brother. Stugats. Oh, my God.
Stugotz
What a weird interaction. Wow.
Andrew Hawkins
This is done Levitar show with the stugats.
Stugotz
Nothing to do with race. Just mad.
Andrew Hawkins
Just mad. It's all mad. It has nothing to do with race. You might have made your guy white if you were white. You probably made your guy black if you were black. But it wasn't about race. It was trying to see yourself as the best quarterback in the world.
Billy Corben
You were seeing yourself as a quarterback killer.
Andrew Hawkins
That's crazy. Killer.
Billy Corben
Crazy.
Andrew Hawkins
I could see myself in them.
Stugotz
Pause.
Andrew Hawkins
That's wow, yo. That's wow, fam.
Stugotz
Now, I know what impression of means doing, but tell Jeremy.
Mike Ryan
Guys, the thing that's funniest about what you're saying is I don't know if this is the best Houston Texan season that there's ever been, but it has the potential to be if they go on the road and beat Kansas City. And yet the situation they're in is not just everything. You're saying where. No, this year, we know the good teams. We know who's actually good. This will be all great to see the great teams play against each other. Hey, Texans, get out of the way. They're looking at the other conference. So jealous of the Rams because the ramp. Because people are looking at the Rams and they're like, yeah, go get them, Rams. Go drag everyone down from behind. I know this sweet Detroit story. That city really wants the Lions to win. That's nice. Philadelphia, you're spoiled. It'd be really nice if the Rams just hunt everyone down and ruin the nfc. What's happening in football that the Texans are looking at the Rams and are jealous when this might be the best Texan season there's ever been.
Billy Corben
Now, I did find one scenario, Mike, where it's okay for CJ Stroud to win on this weekend, right? Follow me, if you will. He beats Patrick Mahomes, then he beats the winner of Lamar versus Josh, and then he wins the super bowl. And it's the beginning of a new story. At the moment, we're like, no, you ruined it. But then we realize at the end of it, like, oh, no, this is the arrival of the next generation of superstar quarterbacks.
Dan LeBatard
So you got two guys tangled around the top rope, and they're tussling to eliminate the second to last guy. And then a guy comes out of nowhere. Just eliminates them both simultaneously. And we've used the Royal Rumble now as a launchpad. Everything is wrestling.
Billy Corben
Hold on, let me text Arian Foster. I'll ask him about that one.
Mike Ryan
Can you guys tell me. I was very disappointed earlier this week when we unveiled our Pat Riley statue. After everything that happened with the Miami Heat and our statue, it was just Lacking. Generally, not enough funds were spent on it. We made a big deal about we're going to have this statue, and it's going to lord over the arena, and it's going to celebrate Pat Riley forever because this town should honor his greatness and shouldn't run someone like that out of town because of the whim of the moment. From the diva of the moment. What are you doing to me?
Billy Corben
Oh, Aaron Foster texted me asking about ivermectin and novovirus, and I'm like, what does that have to do with what we're talking about?
Mike Ryan
Rose is ready. Is she out there right now? I'd like to go to live Commentary. It is unpleasant out there. Oh, for the love of God. The Pat Riley statue is in disrepair. Can Rose hear me?
Stugotz
Pat Riley doing.
Mike Ryan
Can Rose hear me? Pat Riley appears to be undulating for some reason.
Andrew Hawkins
Twerking.
Mike Ryan
Rose, can you give us a report? Why did this become a storm report? Can you give us a report from up there? Why is Pat Riley in such bad shape?
Billy Corben
Because yesterday was optimal.
Andrew Hawkins
The weather. And we were having a great talk.
Mike Ryan
With Pat, and today, now it's raining.
Andrew Hawkins
So we're trying to share our umbrella together.
Mike Ryan
So he's a little bit down, right, Pat?
Andrew Hawkins
I don't know if he can talk now.
Mike Ryan
Rose, do you know who Pat Riley is?
Andrew Hawkins
I knew that. I thought this question might come up. Yeah, I actually asked.
Billy Corben
He has something to do with movements.
Mike Ryan
With the heat.
Billy Corben
Movement, Yes.
Mike Ryan
I mean, yes. Yeah, that's right.
Dan LeBatard
He's moving right now.
Mike Ryan
Yes. What do you imagine his. What do you imagine his job is with the heat? Making people move? He's gonna decide whether the guy that.
Dan LeBatard
Wants to leave leaves, maybe not. That's part of the problem.
Mike Ryan
Or stays. Yeah. Who is that guy? Who is that guy?
Andrew Hawkins
Jimmy Butler.
Mike Ryan
All right, thank you, Rose. We appreciate you.
Stugotz
He knows her ice cats.
Andrew Hawkins
Not as much.
Mike Ryan
The heat. Look, we need a better statue. Thank you, Rose. And I failed here. This was my fault from begin to end. She was out there yesterday, and it was sunny, and it was beautiful, and it was not windy and it was not rainy. And I forgot to go to her because the first time I went to her with the statue, I was so disappointed by the statue. That's not honoring Pat Riley.
Dan LeBatard
She's been up there for 36 hours.
Mike Ryan
That's right. You guys have made a farce of this. Now, me trying to honor somebody at the end that. That even people around here. Mike, Bryan's commentary gets me compromised on. On not wanting to dishonor somebody at the end of their career. Just because they put the standard in a place where you're going to care about regular season games for 15 years around here, because all of them are going to matter.
Andrew Hawkins
Welcome to my world, Dan.
Stugotz
Mike Ryan putting you in compromising positions.
Andrew Hawkins
With his, with his analysis of the, hey, that's crazy. He put him in compromising. That is crazy.
Dan LeBatard
I love how, I love how the compromising position is just telling you like it is. Like, I, I, I was actually having this conversation yesterday. Let's remove the expansion years from the equation. Certainly for the Pat Riley years, you can make it a solid argument that these last two seasons are the leanest years in franchise history when it comes to their, their chances of being competitive. You can maybe highlight the four or five seed years where they had Jermaine O'Neal and we were all just kind of buying time before the, the, the free agency, but that wasn't even as long and as prolonged as this was. And even when they, they were bad, when Deon Waiters had that, they still had the win streak in the season to get people excited and think like, man, if we only got in the playoffs, this is so lean and so helpless and so boring that you could actually point to this and say, if it's not the leanest portion of Pat Riley's career, it's certainly top three. It's on the medal stand.
Billy Corben
Can I introduce you to someone named Michael Beasley?
Dan LeBatard
That was one year, one tanking year. And they also had the best player, one of the best players in the world on their team to keep you locked in because, yeah, I was thinking about, like, after they won the 06 championship, there was a slight rebuild, but they had Dwyane Wade, who was one of the top five players in the league at that time. What do they have right now? Let's hope Tyler Herro just increases his trade value.
Stugotz
Dwayne Wade value.
Billy Corben
Dwayne Wade was amazing. Yes. When I say Michael Beasley, I'm not just talking about the year before they got him. Otherwise, after they got him, right? That was some lean ass years.
Dan LeBatard
But they still had Dwyane Wade.
Billy Corben
That was lean cuisine.
Dan LeBatard
They had a reason. Like, we know that we got the guy. We know that we have the franchise guy. And you always had the hope. Like, if we make a move and we add to Dwyane Wade, we're good. Right now. You're just hoping that what Kevin Love posted on Instagram is true.
Billy Corben
It was lean rhymes. Aline Alhassan linguine. Damn.
Mike Ryan
Come on, man. Come On. No, I can't kick you out because it's time for First Fake. Ready?
Andrew Hawkins
I have to quit. Welcome to First Fake, presented by Tough Actin Tenactin'jimmy.
Mike Ryan
Butler is where we're going to start. Even though people are tired of Yimmy Butler, as we call him in Miami and many a household, people are tired of us talking about this. And it's only going to get worse. One would presume. Correct. There are going to be little things in practices. Maybe Jimmy Butler has an amazing practice against Tyler Hero. Maybe there's a fight at practice, right? All of this stuff is going to get dirtier before it gets clean, right? Like it's not going to just. Well, let me ask you.
Dan LeBatard
I was going to say the moderator's talking way too much for this.
Mike Ryan
I'm sorry. This is the opposite of first.
Stugotz
It's my turn.
Mike Ryan
Jimmy Butler. I mean.
Billy Corben
Well, Dan levitar. When you talk about Jimmy Butler, you're talking first of all, a player who's been a multiple time all NBA player, multiple time all defensive team taking this team to the NBA finals twice what I add. And now you mean to tell me he's the problem. You gotta be out of your mind. This is unacceptable. Jimmy Butler should be telling the Miami he get me the help I need so I could take you where you need to go.
Andrew Hawkins
Hey, yo, what is we talking about murder, huh? Yeah, we down in Miami. Yo, Jimmy gotta chill for fam. He gotta stay where he at. Yo, I'd have spent a lot of years in Miami. Trust and believe, okay? I've been there. I done did it all. I was in Club Dream Club, Bad mansion. I'm talking about when it was the real mansion and we had. We had got Denali's caddies on the block. I'm talking about 20 deep. But what I'm saying is. Hey, yo, Jimmy, man, what is we doing? Every three years you're gonna try to just leave to a new tv? Have we not done this before?
Billy Corben
Oh, yeah, that's crazy.
Andrew Hawkins
Come on, man.
Billy Corben
Yeah, I'm just saying.
Andrew Hawkins
Yo, yo, Pack, get your stuff together down there. You in charge or not? Yo, I can't imagine running the spot and I can't have control of nobody down there. You know what I'm saying? Yo, this man is wild. Get him out of here.
Billy Corben
It's crazy. He said you gotta control him down there.
Andrew Hawkins
Control him down there. Yo, get control of your people, yo. Could never be me.
Mike Ryan
Deion Sanders to the Cowboys. This one feels suspicious to me. Jerry Jones is never gonna give up. That Much ego to that position.
Andrew Hawkins
And that's crazy.
Dan LeBatard
Usually the moderator lobs it up for somebody. That's crazy.
Andrew Hawkins
It's your first time hosting a show.
Billy Corben
Not Molly Caram.
Andrew Hawkins
Hey, murder this man.
Billy Corben
He folly caram.
Andrew Hawkins
Come on. Yo, what is he doing? That's crazy.
Billy Corben
He's Molly not caring.
Andrew Hawkins
Hey, if I'm Prime, I'm going to Dallas. And if I'm Jerry Jones, I'm going to get Deion. Like, go get Prime.
Billy Corben
He's jolly, Carol. Cause he fat. That's crazy.
Andrew Hawkins
That's crazy. Murder.
Mike Ryan
Juju is jolly just for fat people at Lebitar show.
Billy Corben
I gotta ask Uncle Mike about this. He gonna get Di back in Dallas.
Andrew Hawkins
You're probably Dallas. Yo, if I'm Jerry Jones, it's the only thing that makes sense. Who else could deal with his ego? You know what I'm saying? You got your owner who's the gm, and it's cool to be the GM if you know how to pick players. He don't know how to do none of that.
Billy Corben
He said he don't know how to pick him.
Andrew Hawkins
He don't know how to pick him. It ain't the X's and O's, it's the Jimmy's and the Joes. That's a. That's the saying all this time, Murder, you know? So you get Dion in there, get Shador in there, get Shiloh in there, get Dion Jr. He do the videos in Colorado. Throw a uniform on him. It's better than what we see out there. Now, Murder. He's tripping.
Billy Corben
He's shooting the videos.
Andrew Hawkins
Come on.
Billy Corben
That's crazy.
Andrew Hawkins
Everybody down there with the podcast, and I like podcasts. We got a podcast. We got the best podcast in the game.
Billy Corben
Shout out.
Andrew Hawkins
Come on. We ain't out there having to tackle Derrick Henry. Somebody gotta do. Do your job. Yo, get prime down there so we can get the players to do their jobs.
Billy Corben
That's crazy.
Mike Ryan
Who's under more pressure this weekend? Josh Allen or Lamar Jackson? I mean.
Billy Corben
Oh, yeah, hold on. How. What characters?
Mike Ryan
That's the problem. That's the problem with hosting this.
Stugotz
This.
Mike Ryan
No one considers the host. I don't know who I'm talking to. Which character would you like to play?
Andrew Hawkins
You mad? You mad? You mad?
Billy Corben
Bill O'Reilly. He look like a fat.
Andrew Hawkins
Let's try this again. I'm a mean assassin. Yo, Dan, he's the man. He's a mean old bastard.
Mike Ryan
Look, let's try this again. Get me some different imaging. Let's do this better. Please.
Andrew Hawkins
Welcome back to First Fake presented by Circuit City. Oh, my God.
Mike Ryan
Who's under more pressure this week? And Josh Allen or Lamar Jacken?
Dan LeBatard
I'm sorry, what?
Andrew Hawkins
Yo, that's crazy.
Dan LeBatard
That's crazy.
Andrew Hawkins
Lamar Jacking is wild, son.
Billy Corben
He's Lamar Jackson is what he say.
Andrew Hawkins
Lamar was doing Lamar Jacking. Hey, yo, that's wild.
Billy Corben
Crazy.
Andrew Hawkins
You wilding, man. That's crazy. Hey, yo, stat man said Lamar jacking. Hey, yo, how you start the show to say, let's do it right and it come out with Lamar Jacking? That's. That's crazy.
Billy Corben
He not stat, baby. He fat baby.
Andrew Hawkins
That's wild, son.
Dan LeBatard
Back to not care about the moderator.
Andrew Hawkins
That's crazy. Lamar Jacking is absurd.
Mike Ryan
Try it again. Run it back. I'll do it. I'll do it better this time. Try it back. I'm sorry. It's live. Mike didn't trust me on live. He said, dan, don't do it live.
Andrew Hawkins
Welcome back. I could have written First Fake presented by Circuit City.
Mike Ryan
I'll tell you what happened last time, too. I tripped on my way there. Like, who am I gonna ask? Am I gonna ask Andrew Hawkins? Am I like, I haven't gotten Shannon Sharpe yet. I'd like Shannon Sharpe. I wanted to do first fake with Shannon Sharpe. I didn't get that. He's doing his own script. He's audible.
Andrew Hawkins
Well, it's really weird to spoof a show that I'm actually on. Can we address that elephant in the room? That's so I gotta go into character. Two for two. I never got it this early. Hey, that's crazy. That's crazy.
Billy Corben
Killer. You said you never got it when.
Mike Ryan
Wow.
Andrew Hawkins
That's crazy. That's on me.
Mike Ryan
That's on me.
Andrew Hawkins
We never even addressed why I'm in 2003 garb.
Mike Ryan
No, and don't.
Dan LeBatard
We'll get to Ed in the B block.
Andrew Hawkins
Golly.
Mike Ryan
Yeah.
Andrew Hawkins
Why is he gonna pink me? That never. You guys didn't ask question.
Mike Ryan
No, no. We want. Want the joke to stand for itself.
Billy Corben
It.
Mike Ryan
It speaks for itself.
Andrew Hawkins
It doesn't because I did it for liangelo Ball.
Mike Ryan
Well, I'm not there yet.
Andrew Hawkins
Oh, so.
Mike Ryan
All right, I'll do this better. Let's go.
Andrew Hawkins
Welcome back to First Fake, presented by Circuit City.
Mike Ryan
Andrew Hawkins. Which ball brother is the biggest star?
Andrew Hawkins
I gotta give props to Jello. Jello's the biggest star. Shout out to Lavar Ball in the ball and gang, he in the hall of fame. I'm from hall of Maine. We having breakfast but no club. I'm not Charlemagne. It's The Jello. It's Jello Ball.
Billy Corben
It's Jello.
Andrew Hawkins
He's done the thing that we didn't expect, okay? He signed with Def jam with a 2003 hit.
Billy Corben
He got that.
Andrew Hawkins
That was my era. So if you wonder why I'm in the pink meek bandana long chain.
Mike Ryan
Nobody was wondering.
Andrew Hawkins
Everybody was wondering. They was wondering. Hawk, when was your era? It was 2003. That's when I. That's when I came into myself. Hey, yo, that's crazy.
Mike Ryan
Lamar. Jack.
Andrew Hawkins
That's wild. That's crazy.
Billy Corben
Yeah, that's crazy. It's Jello Ball. Because you gotta look at it like this. Lamelo Ball could walk down the street. Ain't nobody know him. It's like, yo, who is he? But. But you walk around the stereos and the cars is all bumping Jello. It's Jello. He famous. Cause he got a top 10 hit. What LaMelo Bell got, he played in Charlotte. I lost the accent there for a second. That turned into I was jolly from.
Mike Ryan
No one knew you had it. I didn't know you had this. This. I did not know you had this.
Billy Corben
You know I had it.
Andrew Hawkins
It is so hot in this. In his coat. Where'd you even get that, man? I, I, I had to go to great lengths to put all this together.
Billy Corben
Yo, he said he had to go to grade one. That's crazy. Killer.
Andrew Hawkins
That's on me. That's on me. That's on merch.
Billy Corben
You had to go to great one.
Andrew Hawkins
That's. That's on me. Jello is the most famous ball brother to put a. To put a button on that. He signed with Def Jam, and also he is the best athlete who is a musician of all time.
Mike Ryan
Whoa.
Andrew Hawkins
Immediately. Day one.
Mike Ryan
Come on now.
Billy Corben
I can't get with you on that one.
Andrew Hawkins
Prove me wrong. Engagement forming. Prove me wrong.
Mike Ryan
Hold on a second.
Andrew Hawkins
Unpopular opinion.
Mike Ryan
Hold on. Say it again. Say it again. Look into a camera. Which camera does he need?
Andrew Hawkins
Because my ISO.
Mike Ryan
Okay, let's. Yes. Because you are saying something I have not heard anywhere else. You are taking the take far too far. Too taken. Like it's a. It's a take too far.
Andrew Hawkins
I think liangelo Ball is the best musician athlete in the world and of all time. Day one.
Billy Corben
I can't get with that killer.
Dan LeBatard
Who else? It's not the best athlete. Musician. It's the best musician.
Andrew Hawkins
Athlete.
Dan LeBatard
Athlete.
Andrew Hawkins
So not athlete who wants to do music on the side. I'm talking about Maine.
Billy Corben
Source of income is Shaquille O'Neal. Music was way better his music was way better. He. He had a track with Big. Jello ain't got no track with Big.
Andrew Hawkins
Big's Dead Jesus. I had a lot to do with.
Dan LeBatard
But people knew about Shaq because of his athleticism. And then it opened the door for his music. Really? Jello. More people know him because of the music than his basketball prowess.
Billy Corben
That's cause he couldn't play.
Dan LeBatard
That's what. But that's what Hawk is saying.
Andrew Hawkins
Isn't that wild?
Dan LeBatard
Musician.
Billy Corben
And then you could say. What's his name? Bruce Hornsby. Then would be the best athlete musician.
Andrew Hawkins
Well, no.
Mike Ryan
Did you not hear Roy? He came out swinging in the middle of that. He hit us in the face with a guitar. The guitar of Bronson Arroyo is what?
Andrew Hawkins
Yes.
Mike Ryan
You guys didn't even hear that. It's the only thing Roy has said in 30 minutes is. And it was. And it was perfectly timed, but it was exactly not the winner in the conversation. We're present.
Dan LeBatard
Can I introduce you to Barry Zito?
Andrew Hawkins
That's crazy.
Billy Corben
That's crazy.
Mike Ryan
We've got a lot.
Dan LeBatard
Iglesias.
Mike Ryan
We've got a lot of guitar players in baseball.
Billy Corben
Bernie Williams.
Dan LeBatard
Yes, but that's an athlete musician. You're not into the game. It's gotta be a musician first.
Andrew Hawkins
Gotta be first job, musician second job.
Billy Corben
I said Bruce Hornsby.
Dan LeBatard
Okay?
Billy Corben
He beat Allen Iverson one on one. Y'all think I'm playing?
Dan LeBatard
No, Allen Iverson is an athlete first.
Billy Corben
Then came you penalizing them for being nice on the court. They should have been scrubs so they can win this argument. Come on, man.
Andrew Hawkins
Masterpiece has a case.
Billy Corben
Yeah, he was a scrub on the court.
Andrew Hawkins
Master B has a case. So all that, you got to put the musicians in the room and then say, yo, who is the best athlete?
Billy Corben
Yeah. He said, master B. That's crazy. With a B. Killer.
Mike Ryan
Hold on, Hawk. Give me the list here. If you're making the argument, you're making it because you think it's unassailable. So who are the arguments against it that you would rebuff one after another?
Andrew Hawkins
I would put Master P in the. In the argument. I would put Sam Hunt, country music artist who played quarterback at UAB and signed with the Kansas City Chiefs before going into country music? Julio Iglesias, I got from Mike Ryan.
Dan LeBatard
Reserve goalkeeper for Real Madrid.
Andrew Hawkins
That's legit. Has to be legit. Toby Nwigwi, who is a music rap artist who played linebacker at North Texas, would be in there. I would put two chains. Two chains.
Billy Corben
Two chains. Play. Call it basketball.
Andrew Hawkins
They lost Like a six, five big, though. I don't know.
Dan LeBatard
What are we doing with Nelly? He dominated Rock and Jock.
Andrew Hawkins
He did dominate Rock and Jock, but I don't feel like he had, like, an. He can't contend with the officials who, like, have played at a high level.
Billy Corben
J. Cole.
Andrew Hawkins
J. Cole played pro basketball. Do you think? All right, so do you think J. Cole could beat LiAngelo Ball one on one?
Billy Corben
That's not what you asked me. I gave you guys that could beat him one on one. That's crazy.
Dan LeBatard
Who's a better basketball player, J. Cole or Master P?
Billy Corben
J. Cole.
Dan LeBatard
Really?
Mike Ryan
He is, but he has played overseas. And Amin is also in the tank for J. Cole because he would not say. He would not say a negative word about J. Cole.
Dan LeBatard
Well, it's a better release.
Andrew Hawkins
Love J. Cole. He's not a better basketball player than Master P. Yeah.
Dan LeBatard
J. Cole's release. I don't know.
Andrew Hawkins
Master P played for Houston in college.
Billy Corben
No.
Mike Ryan
Yeah.
Andrew Hawkins
Master P was a Division 1 basketball player.
Billy Corben
It was Omada up.
Andrew Hawkins
What?
Billy Corben
Go look it up. It was all made up.
Andrew Hawkins
Master P was not a Division 1 basketball player.
Billy Corben
Master P created this myth in a time when the Internet wasn't a thing.
Andrew Hawkins
I know why I don't believe it. You know why I don't believe that? Because three of Master P's kids are Division 1 basketball players, and his nephew is starting at, like, Kansas or something.
Billy Corben
So let me get this straight.
Andrew Hawkins
That's how genetics works. That is the reason why I believe that. Master.
Mike Ryan
Hold on. Is this. Is this. Hold on, hold on.
Andrew Hawkins
Time to throw away all journalistic credibility and get reckless. Here is something we like to call reckless speculation. You're good.
Mike Ryan
I mean, what are you alleging?
Billy Corben
I'm not alleging. This is. It's been debunked. This is like saying, oh, man, we never. We never figured out who shot jfk. They figured that out. We all know the answer to it. And so he didn't play college basketball. That was something that he said over and over again, like in interviews early on, before people could fact check stuff. And people just took it and ran with it, and no one ever fact checked it. It's like the whole Hakeem Olajuwon went to Houston because he landed at JFK and it was too cold. And then it's all mythology.
Andrew Hawkins
I thought you were gonna say Olajuwon didn't play Division 1 basketball. Then I was like, okay, now I'm pretty certain.
Mike Ryan
I've never seen Andrew Hawkins undress that way on American television. That's the first time I've ever seen that happen.
Billy Corben
I shattered his time. Childhood.
Andrew Hawkins
That's why you did. I shattered this dream. You shattered the dream of Master P being a Division 1 basketball player who went on to play for the Charlotte Hornets in a preseason game and dropped 20. So those are facts.
Billy Corben
Jeremy whispered in my ear, it says that he got us. No, he didn't get a scholarship. They like they looked at. They went to University of Houston. Like was this guy ever like. No, none of it actually happened.
Stugotz
So not even got a scholarship? Dropped it and transferred. It was never even recruited.
Billy Corben
Never.
Andrew Hawkins
That makes him an even better athlete that he went to preseason with the Charlotte hornets and dropped 18 in the fourth.
Billy Corben
He dropped 18 in the fourth.
Andrew Hawkins
More myth. I don't know.
Dan LeBatard
I gotta research this one. Was that for the Internet too?
Andrew Hawkins
Do we have no researchers here?
Mike Ryan
No, it's the seat. It's the seat. Look it up. Look it up. He gets it wrong. Cuz he got it wrong. He gets undressed. He gets undressed in front of everybody because he's got his facts wrong. He's just out here spouting propaganda. You know what? I'm sorry to do this to you. Hawk. This actually, no. And it does. It hurts me. It hurts me to do. This is. You are.
Stugotz
Minor penalty.
Andrew Hawkins
Two minutes.
Dan LeBatard
Spreading propaganda.
Andrew Hawkins
Don't sit in the pebble phase me.
Mike Ryan
No, I know it doesn't phase you.
Andrew Hawkins
Well, I'm a boss man.
Mike Ryan
Yeah.
Billy Corben
Okay, Dan, I have another answer for you. And I think this one is unassailable. Prince. Prince, greatest music person athlete.
Dan LeBatard
His preseason high for points was eight points.
Billy Corben
Master P. Was that Toronto or Charlotte?
Dan LeBatard
That was in which he scored during his time with the Toronto Raptors against Vancouver.
Stugotz
Billy Ray Cyrus got a baseball scholarship to Georgetown and later dropped out to become a musician. That one's up there. He had hits in multiple different decades.
Billy Corben
Wait, as a baseball player or as a nice.
Andrew Hawkins
Thanks for watching. First fake presented by Oodles and Noodles.
Dan LeBatard
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Stugotz
All set for your flight?
Billy Corben
Yep.
Andrew Hawkins
I've got everything I need.
Mike Ryan
Eye mask, neck pillow, T Mobile, headphones. Wait.
Andrew Hawkins
T Mobile? You bet.
Mike Ryan
Free in flight.
Andrew Hawkins
Wi Fi 15 off all Hilton brands. I never go anywhere without T Mobile. Same goes from a water bottle, chewing gum, nail clippers. Okay, I'm gonna leave you to it.
Stugotz
Find out how you can experience travel.
Mike Ryan
Better@T mobile.com Travel qualifying plan required Wi Fi were available on select US airlines. Deposit and Hilton Honors membership required for 15. Discount terms and conditions apply.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz Episode: Local Hour: First Fake.. That's Crazy Release Date: January 17, 2025
From the Elser Hotel in Downtown Miami, hosts Dan LeBatard and Stugotz dive into the heart of the South Florida sports scene, blending in their signature humor and insightful commentary. This episode, titled "Local Hour: First Fake.. That's Crazy," offers a lively exploration of the 2025 playoff football season, team dynamics, and some entertaining skits that showcase the hosts' chemistry.
Stugotz opens the conversation with a relatable anecdote about purchasing a Peloton bike, humorously highlighting his initial reluctance and eventual love for the intense workouts provided by the platform's coaches.
“[00:12] Stugotz: I decided to get off my ass and I jumped on the peloton… It was more challenging than I could have ever imagined.”
The hosts pivot to the excitement surrounding the playoff season, focusing on key matchups and the strategic maneuvers of top NFL teams.
The Ravens vs. Bills Showdown
Dan LeBatard compares the impending game to WWE’s Royal Rumble, emphasizing the high stakes and the intense rivalry between the Ravens and the Bills as they vie for a spot to challenge Patrick Mahomes.
“[04:05] Dan LeBatard: It's the Royal Rumble before Wrestlemania… the Ravens and Bills battling for a shot to finish their story.”
Weather Woes: Snowing in Buffalo
The discussion turns to the challenging weather conditions in Buffalo, with Mike Ryan expressing his apprehension about playing football in the snow, while Dan defends the Bills' resilience.
“[05:17] Dan LeBatard: This is how real football gets played in Buffalo, and they earned it by having a better season.”
A heated debate unfolds over who deserves the MVP title, with Andrew Hawkins and Mike Ryan championing Josh Allen and Lamar Jackson, respectively.
“[10:23] Mike Ryan: Who's under more pressure this weekend? Josh Allen or Lamar Jackson?”
The "First Fake" segment introduces a playful twist, where hosts adopt various characters to satirize sports personalities and scenarios.
Mocking Team Management
Mike Ryan takes center stage, humorously critiquing Pat Riley’s impact on the Miami Heat and the team's current performance.
“[21:17] Mike Ryan: What are you doing to me? … The Pat Riley statue is in disrepair.”
Athlete-Musician Hybrids Debate
An animated exchange sparks debates on whether athletes like Master P and LaMelo Ball excel more as musicians, blending sports prowess with musical talent.
“[36:20] Andrew Hawkins: I think LiAngelo Ball is the best musician athlete in the world and of all time.”
The hosts delve into the legacy of figures like Pat Riley and Jimmy Butler, discussing their contributions and the current state of the Miami Heat.
Pat Riley's Statue and Legacy
Dan LeBatard and Mike Ryan analyze the significance of Pat Riley’s statue, debating whether it adequately honors his legacy amid the team's recent struggles.
“[24:51] Billy Corben: Can I introduce you to someone named Michael Beasley?”
Jimmy Butler’s Role
Billy Corben passionately defends Jimmy Butler, arguing against portraying him as a problem and instead highlighting his critical role in the team’s success.
“[26:47] Billy Corben: Jimmy Butler… should be telling the Miami Heat he gets me the help I need.”
The episode is peppered with humorous interactions and playful jabs among the hosts, showcasing their camaraderie and improvisational skills.
Engagement Farming and Fact-Checking
Billy Corben challenges Andrew Hawkins on his claims about Master P’s basketball career, leading to a lighthearted exchange about myth-busting and journalistic credibility.
“[40:19] Billy Corben: Never. [pause] [42:08] Dan LeBatard: I gotta research this one.”
Character Confusion and Live Challenges
The hosts experiment with different characters, leading to amusing misunderstandings and attempts to stay in character amidst laughter.
“[32:56] Billy Corben: Killer. You said you never got it when.”
As the episode wraps up, Stugotz and Andrew Hawkins participate in a humorous toast to football, highlighting their ongoing celebrations of the sport throughout the season.
“[14:48] Stugotz: So we're raising our glasses of Smirnoff. … To football, everyone.”
Conclusion
This episode of The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz masterfully balances insightful sports analysis with engaging humor and camaraderie among the hosts. From dissecting high-stakes playoff matchups to entertaining skits that parody sports personalities, Dan and Stugotz deliver a compelling narrative that resonates with both avid sports fans and casual listeners alike. Their ability to weave together serious discussions with lighthearted banter ensures a rich and entertaining listening experience.
Notable Quotes:
Note: Timestamps are based on the provided transcript and correspond to the moments of the notable quotes.