Local Hour: Football Is Back, Jack!

Summary

The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz

Local Hour: "Football Is Back, Jack!"

Date: September 4, 2025
Episode Theme:
A lively, irreverent return to football season—with the crew riffing on (and sometimes derailing from) NFL kickoff excitement, South Florida sports ownership, streaming headaches, pop culture, and the show’s colorful cast dynamics.

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Episode Overview

This “Local Hour” finds Dan, Stugotz, and their cast celebrating the return of football (complete with off-key theme song), dissecting sports content trends, and getting lost (as usual) in digressions ranging from donuts to Lady Gaga’s canceled Miami show. At its core, the episode is a celebration of football’s status as American cultural king, while also poking at the fraught relationship between fans, team owners, and the realities of modern sports media and streaming.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Football Fever Kicks Off

• The episode opens with Dan and crew joyfully (and satirically) singing “Football Is Back, Jack!” as a musical welcome to the NFL season.
• (00:50-02:33): A tongue-in-cheek anthem celebrates the “highs and wild” of football’s return.
• There’s confusion over the NFL’s schedule—highlighting the chaotic modern broadcast landscape with games split across Thursday, Friday, and multiple streaming platforms.
• Quote:
  • "No need, no check downs give me big hits and quarterbacks keep your fantasy team from falling off the track. Football is back, Jack!” — Dan Le Batard & crew, (00:50)

2. Donut Debate: The Planest Stick

• (03:01-04:58): The cast mockingly debates the merits of the "plain stick" donut, led by Zaslow’s controversial love for this bland bakery item.
  • Is it the worst donut?
  • Does a donut need to be sweet? Round?
  • Polls proposed: "Does a donut need to be sweet?" and "Does a donut need to be round?"
  • Quote:
    • "Of all the donuts, it’s the plainest, right? It’s like eating just doughy bread. It doesn't have very much flavor to it." — Dan Le Batard, (04:16)

3. Owners, Journalism, and Media Pressure

• (05:12-07:54): Le Batard discusses the tricky position of sports journalism when faced with powerful owners who control access and can threaten lawsuits.
  • Example: Mark Cuban publicly coming after Pablo Torre over reporting.
  • Dan references how legal threats from wealthy, well-connected figures (including Trump) can intimidate or exhaust media outfits (“these people can bury you in lawsuits”).
• The show is torn between digging into serious issues ("owner fights") and just celebrating football.
• Quote:
  • “Of course you’re afraid of the money, because these people can bury you in lawsuits. Trump is hurting the media just by grabbing tens of millions here and there with just bogus stuff... this stuff’s dangerous when you bring the fight to these particular people.” — Dan Le Batard, (05:54)

4. The Streaming and NFL Viewing Maze

• (12:28-14:16, 19:39–22:12):
  • Confusion about which NFL games are on which nights, and whether fans need specific streaming services (YouTube TV, Peacock, NFL+, etc.).
  • Discussion of Red Zone access, troubleshooting, and tips for saving money (“call up and threaten to cancel—used to get you Sunday Ticket for free!”).
• The growing “paywalling” of sports and the proliferation of streamers is making fandom expensive and complex.
• Quote:
  • "This is confusing. This is all getting expensive." — Dan Le Batard, (14:21)
  • “Your fandom is so addictive, and we know football is king… The thing that’s going to happen is you’re all going to get screwed here, okay?” — Dan Le Batard, (14:53)

5. The Triumph of Content: Taylor Swift, the Kelseys, & South Florida Ownership

• (13:19, 15:57–16:59):
  • The biggest draw in the NFL? Taylor Swift’s fiancé’s (Travis Kelce’s) game—her star lifts ratings above even storied franchises.
  • Le Batard riffs on “Mobland,” streaming competition, and how everyone—from celebrities to podcast hosts—recognizes that “good content” is king.
• (25:56–26:49):
  • The Miami Heat’s owner, Mickey Arison, is lauded for making the team a model franchise under the spotlight, even as he shuns interviews (accepting just a few short five-minute slots for his Hall of Fame nod).
• Tension: Should the show stick to its journalistic guns or accept Arison's tight interview terms?

6. Classic Show Hijinks & Miami Madness

• Workplace bits:
  • Running joke: A character named "Carl" breaking bottles over Jeremy’s head for “bad judgment”—a satirical take on dealing with outlandish coworkers and show theatrics.
  • “Let’s give Carl that power. Now, when Carl sees that any of us, me included, are using bad judgment or is being Jeremy, let’s call it being Jeremy. He’s allowed to come in and slap someone over the head and break a bottle over their head." — Dan Le Batard, (07:22)
• Lady Gaga Show Cancellation (29:26–33:25):
  • Miami’s party scene claims another victim: Lady Gaga cancels her show after fans were already in the arena. Reckless speculation blames “an off night in Miami.”
  • Quote:
    • "Off night in Miami got to Lady Gaga." — Mike Ryan, (30:35)
    • “South Florida is worth a couple of points. Everyone knows this... South Florida nights are worth a couple of points for any basketball team that comes down here… you see a team that has absolutely no legs. That's a real thing." — Dan Le Batard, (31:34–31:55)

7. Should the Show Play Ball with Power? The Mickey Arison Dilemma

• (35:04–37:28):
  • The team debates the ethics and logic of accepting a five-minute, highly-regulated interview with the Miami Heat owner.
  • Is it worth sacrificing the show's standards for a powerful figure, even one who has done a lot for the community?
  • “Five minutes is more than anyone else is getting because there’s so many layers.” — Dan Le Batard, (37:32)
  • “These are not concessions we've ever made for anybody.” — Dan Le Batard, (35:49)
• (36:35-36:42): Zaslow and Chris Cody praise Mickey Arison as “the best owner we've ever had down here,” highlighting team stability, lack of scandal, packed arenas.

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• "Football is back, Jack!"
  "We’ve waited for so long, we’re so damn excited that we put it in a song... Football is back, Jack!” — Dan Le Batard and cast, (00:50)
• On Streaming Confusion:
  “A lot of people are headed to this. This is confusing. This is all getting expensive.” — Dan Le Batard, (14:21)
• On Sports Media and Ownership:
  “Trump is hurting the media... this stuff’s dangerous when you bring the fight to these particular people.” — Dan Le Batard, (05:54) “Should we even take the interview?” — Dan Le Batard (28:50)
• On the Miami Nightlife Effect:
  “South Florida is worth a couple of points... on many nights, you see a team that has absolutely no legs. That's a real thing.” — Dan Le Batard, (31:34–31:55) "Off night in Miami got to Lady Gaga." — Mike Ryan, (30:35)
• On Fan Exploitation:
  “Your fandom is so addictive... The thing that’s going to happen is you’re all going to get screwed here, okay?” — Dan Le Batard, (14:53)
• On Show's Style and Chaos:
  “I was starting to do it, as I’m telling you guys, while fighting with owners, which is unpleasant. And next to me is a guy eating a plane stick who can’t get his headphones right...” — Dan Le Batard, (17:47)
• Plain Stick Donut Debate:
  “There’s no plainer donut than the plain stick. Correct? It’s like eating just doughy bread... doesn't have very much flavor to it." — Dan Le Batard, (04:16)

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Important Timestamps

• 00:50 – “Football is Back, Jack!” musical segment.
• 03:01 – The plain stick donut debate begins.
• 05:12–07:54 – Media/owner legal tension, Mark Cuban/Pablo Torre mention.
• 12:28–14:16 – NFL schedule confusion, streaming frustration.
• 15:57–16:59 – Modern “content is king” era, Taylor Swift in the NFL.
• 19:39–22:12 – Red Zone access, cord-cutter advice.
• 25:56–26:49 – Mickey Arison’s moves as Heat owner.
• 29:26–33:25 – Lady Gaga concert cancellation discussion and Miami nightlife effect.
• 35:04–37:28 – Show’s ethical debate: do you “play ball” with powerful guests under their rules?
• 37:32–37:48 – On the symbolic power of a five-minute interview with an owner.

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Tone & Style

The episode oozes the show’s trademark mix: part sports satire, part South Florida flavor, part existential/cultural critique, and always a little self-mocking. The language is casual, irreverent, and full of in-jokes, tangents, and group dynamics that veer from wisecracking to heartfelt to meta.

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Takeaways For New Listeners

• Football is life... and content, and business, and chaos. The NFL is bigger than ever, but viewing it is getting complicated and expensive.
• The show is as much about the cast’s chemistry and comic disorder as about sports.
• Sports journalism vs. power: Access is complicated; big owners wield immense (quiet) influence.
• Pop culture, Miami, and show bits (“plain stick,” workplace mayhem) are as much a part of the show as the X’s and O’s.
• At its core: Football is back—and so is the joyful, unruly crew of Le Batard, Stugotz, and their fellow Miami misfits.

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Transcript

[Mike Ryan]

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[Dan Le Batard]

Cuervo.

[Mike Ryan]

What are you doing here?

[Dan Le Batard]

Cuervo? Anytime someone says Cuervo, I show up.

[Mike Ryan]

Well, I do know that to be true. But even during ad reads like Cuervo, I think he could lay out, especially for one of our great partners.

[Dan Le Batard]

Sweet, delicious Cuervo.

[Mike Ryan]

Since then, Cuervo has stayed true to its roots. The same family, the same land, the same passion.

[Dan Le Batard]

Cuervo.

[Mike Ryan]

So enjoy the tequila that started it all. Cuervo.

[Dan Le Batard]

Cuervo.

[Mike Ryan]

The tequila that invented tequila. Proximo. Cuervo.com Please drink responsibly.

[Dan Le Batard]

Cuervo. This is the Don Levator show with the Stugats podcast. Football.

[Don Levatar]

Is back, Jack. Oh, my. We've waited for so long, we're so damn excited that we put it in a song. No need, no check downs give me big hits and quarterbacks keep your fantasy team from falling off the track Football is backjacked Whether on the ground or through the air when the chips are down and you throw a prayer.

[Stugatz]

When.

[Don Levatar]

Your team is primed and on the.

[Dan Le Batard]

Hun.

[Don Levatar]

It'S four content you refuse to.

[Stugatz]

Buck.

[Don Levatar]

When the shoulder pads and helmets crack that's how you know that football is backjack. Let me hear you say football, Football, football. Football is backjacked. This high is wild and out of control and we're gonna ride it every week till we reach the Super Bowl. No need, no check. Big hits and quarterbacks. If you say this game's the best, I'll say Zach. Football is backjacked. Football is backjacked. Football is back. Football is back, Jack.

[Jonathan Zaslow]

A beautiful morning on the Serengeti. As you see now the zaslo has spotted his plain stick, and he seems to be reveling in the joy that is the plain stick. Beautiful morning on the Serengeti. He's enjoying.

[Dan Le Batard]

Look, so before we start all this. Hold on a second, because we're coming out of. I just saw a random black dude break a bottle over someone's head in the other room, and I don't know what that was about. Jeremy got a bottle broken over his head, and then I come in here, and he's got the plain sticks. He's finally got the plain sticks. He thinks they're delicious.

[Jonathan Zaslow]

The Serengeti.

[Dan Le Batard]

I don't know what you're doing, but I did hear and that I hear. I. Mike, what did you tell me during a liquid IV ad? I don't know why we decided Chris should Be on the reads.

[Chris]

We don't have to do.

[Mike Ryan]

We don't have to relive, mispronounce caffeine.

[Dan Le Batard]

You what? You thought it was a good idea to go live with you reading?

[Jonathan Zaslow]

I did think it was a decent idea. As the zaslo enjoys his plain stick.

[Mike Ryan]

And he had work in Serengeti again.

[Jonathan Zaslow]

In the Serengeti.

[Stugatz]

In the morning.

[Jonathan Zaslow]

In the morning.

[Dan Le Batard]

How did you say caffeine the other day? In the liquor, I said caffeine.

[Mike Ryan]

All right.

[Stugatz]

Get over it.

[Mike Ryan]

Hi, Finane.

[Dan Le Batard]

How do you guys feel about the plain stick? Before we get. We got plenty of content today. We got way, way, way too much show. We'll get to it in a second. The plain stick. Joy Taylor's been mocking Zaslow for many years about his love of this. The love of this stick. And it's disgusting. Like, of all the donuts, it's the plainest. Right?

[Chris]

Don't go and touch my lips.

[Dan Le Batard]

You. But you would agree. Would everyone agree here that it's the plainest of the donuts? Like, this is? Yes. There's no plainer donut than the plain stick. Correct. It's like eating just doughy bread. It's not. It doesn't have very much flavor to it. Correct.

[Jonathan Zaslow]

Give me one of those things.

[Stugatz]

I mean, it is glazed.

[Dan Le Batard]

No, no, his. His is a plain. No, you've got. No, look, what you guys have isn't what he has. He's got one without the glaze. You guys have glaze on it. That changes everything. Good. Of course the glaze is good. Yeah.

[Mike Ryan]

Chris has a plain one, though, on the Serengeti.

[Dan Le Batard]

Yeah, you're gonna love it. No, he's not gonna love that. It's like. No, no, it's dry.

[Stugatz]

Yeah.

[Mike Ryan]

Not good.

[Dan Le Batard]

A donut needs to be. A donut needs to be sweet. Put it on the poll at Lebatard show. Doesn't a donut need to be sweet?

[Mike Ryan]

I think it also needs to be round.

[Stugatz]

It needs accompaniment, this thing. Like, it needs a coffee or some other flavor to it.

[Chris]

I need to go on my belly.

[Dan Le Batard]

Put it on the. Put it on the pole as well. Does a donut need to be round? We've got. The owners are mad at us. Okay. We've got a situation where the big owners club. And this is a problem when you get the owners mad at you. The owner's got all the money. The owners couldn't be in hiding and stuff. And now Mark Cuban is coming after Pablo Torre with. Where are your facts, Jack? And it's like. But But I don't want to do that today because we got football. Because football is back.

[Stugatz]

We, we were having a conversation before the show, Dan, that I don't think you caught, but we're trying to figure out. Exactly. Because Pablo now, you know, Meadowlark have this partnership with the athletic, so they.

[Chris]

Go plain stick down.

[Stugatz]

Does the Steve Ballmer sue Meadowlark or the athletic for this story?

[Dan Le Batard]

Look, some of this stuff that we're doing is hard to do. I don't know, maybe you didn't notice at the beginning of Pablo Torre finds out, but I had a journalism decision to make on something we were publishing that was going to infuriate hba. And I got the world's most powerful sports guy as our CEO. CEO. And of course you're afraid of the money because these people can bury you in lawsuits. Trump is hurting the media just by grabbing tens of millions here and there with just bogus stuff like, so this stuff's dangerous when you bring the fight to these particular people. Like, they're good at hiding, they're good at avoiding questions. Mickey Harrison's going into the hall of Fame. He's reluctantly doing two five minute interviews. They've offered us a five minute interview that has that. Yeah, but it has five minute interview.

[Stugatz]

We're really going to get to the.

[Dan Le Batard]

Nuts and bolts of things like so where we are now agitating people. And Mark Cuban, I want to get to him. But football's back. But. But football's tonight. Football is back, Jack. I'm sorry, I don't know. I mean, geez, why did, why did a random black man break a bottle over the head of Jeremy in the other room? Name's Carl.

[Mike Ryan]

We've established him as a character. You know, Carl, I was like, all right, he just did it once, but he won't do it again.

[Chris]

Maybe that should be his gimmick.

[Dan Le Batard]

Just comes in when somebody is doing too much and breaks a bottle over just Jeremy's head. No, you know what?

[Chris]

I don't think anyone's claimed that gimmick.

[Dan Le Batard]

Says, you know what? I would. Let's give Carl that power. Now, when Carl sees that any of us, me included, are using bad judgment or is being Jeremy, let's call it being Jeremy. He's allowed to come in and slap someone over the head and break a bottle over their head. I think that's a great idea.

[Stugatz]

Well, you would. But here's the. I think that Carl would assume that you just referring to him as the random black man is bad judgment. But then Carl, the Random black man as you referred to him would come in and hit you in the head with a bottle rage video.

[Dan Le Batard]

Look at him and that video. Everyone else is dancing and having properly raged. He seems properly raged to me, she.

[Mike Ryan]

Seems delighted giving you a lifesaver and you're just like, I'd rather drown.

[Dan Le Batard]

There is a bottle broken over a head and he runs off. Scares me if you watch me. You guys saw, look at that. That's just rage. It and obvious rage. We can't have that in the workplace. Look at, look at the Cody's. They're there. Everyone's having a good time. It that's football.

[Mike Ryan]

Yeah. Now close your eyes and imagine he's a random white man. I don't think you're dubbing it as rage.

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[Mike Ryan]

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[Stugatz]

Hey.

[Mike Ryan]

Hey, Billy. As a proud member of your inner circle, remember when we were hanging out last weekend?

[Stugatz]

Yeah. Fishtail Palms.

[Mike Ryan]

Fishtail Palms. Great memories. We made kids playing in the pool and in our hands, a nice ice cold can of Miller. It was so hot out.

[Stugatz]

I know, but it was so cold in my hand.

[Mike Ryan]

We took that first sip. It was crisp. It was refreshing. Oh, man. There is nothing like cracking open a Miller Light with your crew and your inner circle bones.

[Stugatz]

Hell yeah, we fist bumped.

[Mike Ryan]

Whether it's. We actually really did. Whether it's that touchdown make a sound.

[Stugatz]

But it just bam, boom.

[Mike Ryan]

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[Stugatz]

What?

[Mike Ryan]

It's just 96 calories.

[Stugatz]

What?

[Mike Ryan]

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[Dan Le Batard]

Don LeBatard. You were that kind of sad this morning, taking the barrage of anger from Stug because you hadn't booked him enough interviews. The only reason I keep bringing this up is because you not are throwing a big party on Thursday. You're doing it, and I want people to support what you're doing because Stugatz has not made this easy Stug.

[Stugatz]

Well, you know. Well, yeah, you know.

[Dan Le Batard]

This is the Dan Levatar show with the Stugach. So football is back tonight with Cowboys and Eagles. Zaslow was laughing because he was Saying he was saying that Colin Cowherd didn't know that Friday's game was in Brazil, but I didn't know there was a Thursday game. So I don't think I'm in a position to mock him. I thought I learned watching YouTube ads scroll across my screen. Wait a minute, there's a game on Friday night and it's Chiefs, Chargers. And I thought that's how the season was starting. I didn't realize, oh, of course they're going to start with Thursday Night Football. I missed that.

[Billy Gill]

Did the Chiefs win the super bowl last year?

[Dan Le Batard]

I mean, the Chiefs.

[Billy Gill]

I know they didn't.

[Stugatz]

The answer is no.

[Dan Le Batard]

You're right.

[Billy Gill]

You always start with the super bowl.

[Stugatz]

Champion on opening night at home Thursday.

[Shopify Ad Host]

That's what you do.

[Dan Le Batard]

You. You say that and you can never go wrong, obviously, with the Eagles. Cowboys. Of course not. That's great storyline. But we're not. It's not up for dispute. Is it that you. That the marquee game is the one that has Taylor Swift in. Correct. It's still. That we're still on that, are we not? That the numbers are going to be highest for whatever. That the biggest star in the sport right now is Taylor Swift's fiancee. That. That's the biggest star in the sport. That they just had a record podcast. The podcast that the Kelsey's are doing. That's a very difficult business venture.

[Mike Ryan]

We're trying to talk ball. Damn.

[Dan Le Batard]

We're talking ball. No, but I'm asking you the ratings higher for Thursday, Eagles, Cowboys, or the Taylor Swift game on Friday night? Because now they're taking Thursday and Friday. Did they put their. Did they put their big game on Friday? Because they don't have Fridays yet. They've only got Thursdays and Sundays and Mondays.

[Stugatz]

Well, they have the Black Friday game, too, but Thursday night is on NBC and Peacock and Friday is on YouTube. So I think that NBC, Peacock.

[Billy Gill]

So can we not get it if we don't have YouTube TV?

[Stugatz]

I don't know. It's a good question.

[Dan Le Batard]

So a lot of people are headed to this. This is confusing. This is all getting expensive.

[Stugatz]

I don't know about Red Zone. Except now there's commercials and Pat McAfee is telling, you know, whatever his name is, Hanson. Oh, no one's upset about commercials. Like, get with the program, Pat.

[Dan Le Batard]

Now they're saying they've been doing this for a year. They're like, hey, we've been throwing commercials.

[Stugatz]

At you for a while now.

[Dan Le Batard]

This is not the ESPN thing.

[Mike Ryan]

They've been preparing us for this. Also, ESPN is a convenient foil because they don't actually control this thing just yet. They control it next year. So the NFL is using ESPN as a pseudo meat shield here.

[Dan Le Batard]

Sports fans, I am sorry to say this to you. You've heard Sampson all over our network taking some glee in this. He's been warning you. Him and Skipper have both been warning you. Hey, sports fans are all going to get screwed here, okay? Like, the. The thing that's going to happen is your fandom is so addictive, and we know football is king. You don't want to miss any of those games. Hell, I just got sucked in to mob land. And I didn't have Paramount plus. And I'm like, I don't want Paramount Plus. I don't like what's on Paramount Plus. And then I saw Mobland and I'm like, holy, that's better than the Sopranos.

[Mike Ryan]

Good show.

[Dan Le Batard]

No, I'm like that. If they keep.

[Mike Ryan]

Relax.

[Dan Le Batard]

If. No, if they keep doing that and it appears from the way that it ended, they're going to keep doing that.

[Chris]

Who's in that?

[Dan Le Batard]

Mobland? It's everybody. Mob.

[Stugatz]

Everybody.

[Dan Le Batard]

Mobland. Helen Mirren. It plays a bad person for the first time and a great one.

[Mike Ryan]

Oh, she's always bad.

[Dan Le Batard]

Pierce Brosnan plays a bad person and a great one. Tom Hardy. And then the king of it. The king of it is Guy Ritchie. That's five Guy Ritchie movies is what Mobland is, one after another. And it would be better than the Sopranos if I gave it eight seasons.

[Chris]

Paramount plus is good. Don't they have all those Taylor Sheridan shows?

[Stugatz]

Bangers.

[Dan Le Batard]

But.

[Stugatz]

But they have all the different paw patrols also, okay?

[Dan Le Batard]

So you're going to have to have all them. You understand the competition for money and the competition for content, as the Kelsey's and Taylor Swift and everyone else realizes the value of good content. South park realizes it. Colbert realizes it. Conan o' Brien realizes it. The. The whole entertainment landscape is changing, and everybody wants football. And football is Thursday night and it's Friday night, and then college football, minor league football, our second biggest sport in America. That's all day Saturday. And now you got Sunday. And now. Now you're off and running on what is basically cocaine snorting for 17 straight weeks. Because the gambling action. 300. What is it? Is it 300 billion strong? The gambling action? It might be 30 billion. It might be 30 billion.

[Mike Ryan]

Nick Wright's account.

[Dan Le Batard]

It makes it. Oh, on the weekend when you're off, you can just sit there and play with your money on Television while watching football, which makes it easy.

[Mike Ryan]

Doesn't make describing awesome things.

[Dan Le Batard]

Well, this is what's upon us. Right?

[Mike Ryan]

But also, I hear you talk, and I'm like, man, how whack are Tuesdays and Wednesdays?

[Dan Le Batard]

You say all of this. And I don't want to go super serious on where we're headed because you guys say I always dampen the fun on football. Yeah. So don't do it.

[Mike Ryan]

Yep, there you go. Boom.

[Stugatz]

There is a choice. Chris, you're absolutely right. There's a fork in the road here, Dan. There's the fun road, and there's the Dan road. So you get to choose. Which way do we want to go today? The fun road or the not fun road?

[Chris]

It's true. This segment was headed in a direction where, hey, we're just going to talk about awesome things. Yeah, I like that direction.

[Stugatz]

Yeah. Then there's always the third one that we don't see because this is like a spork where Dan's like, vaccines. He's like, whoa, hold on a second.

[Mike Ryan]

A random what guy?

[Dan Le Batard]

Zaslow, you are sitting there next to me, and you're critiquing the show. You're getting more and more confidence in that seat.

[Chris]

I'm just telling you what I like.

[Dan Le Batard]

You're a college football expert. Everybody knows it. Sweets on the road, first class flying. Because everyone knows his knowledge is something that is needed in the top echelon of where sports are described. Your power is hungry. We've seen it physically. Chris, Cody has mocked you on this front. And one of the reasons this show became less fun is because I was starting to do it, as I'm telling you guys, while fighting with owners, which is unpleasant. And next to me is a guy eating a plane stick who can't get his headphones right. And there are people scurrying in under his chair because evidently you didn't know how to do your job while I was talking. Trying to have fun. Right? While you guys were doing that. While you guys were doing that, I'm sitting here trying to do the show. Serious time fighting owners. Football's coming. Dan wants to be Dan. Vaccines. Look out. Florida is the most distressed state. Keep dancing, sports monkey boy.

[Chris]

I mean, I've been doing this long enough. I know how a microphone and headsets work. Is it possible there was sabotage? Wow.

[Stugatz]

Wow. A saboteur amongst us.

[Chris]

You're saying I know how to use equipment?

[Billy Gill]

Only somebody else in that room other than you, huh?

[Dan Le Batard]

Who would it be?

[Stugatz]

Who done it?

[Chris]

I also want to talk ball clearly, no.

[Dan Le Batard]

But who would. It would be a guy. Because. Because the women have fled the premises. They're covering college football. They're no longer wanting to be in Miami. Who sabotaged this?

[Stugatz]

The implication was it was you. So Tony was implying you sabotage wants to talk bald.

[Dan Le Batard]

You guys were implying it was stugat.

[Stugatz]

No, the chair. I don't think he's allowed in the building.

[Dan Le Batard]

That it was the chair.

[Chris]

Talk about.

[Mike Ryan]

You gotta worry about typhoid fever now.

[Dan Le Batard]

Oh, I get it, dog. I know who he is now. You get it's a good impersonation.

[Stugatz]

Trying to figure it out.

[Mike Ryan]

Come over here now.

[Dan Le Batard]

Mike Ryan, were you hurt that your limited fakes none of them won?

[Mike Ryan]

No, no, no, no. Cause Miranda is a first ballot HOFer.

[Stugatz]

I have an update. The game you can watch for free on YouTube on Friday. It also says you have access to it with subscription to NFL plus and YouTube TV. But if it's free, you don't need any of that. You can just watch it for free. Yeah, you just watch it on YouTube.

[Chris]

Do we know how I'm getting red zone this weekend?

[Stugatz]

Don't ask.

[Billy Gill]

What do you got?

[Dan Le Batard]

I needed help with it. I needed help with it. I needed an assistant to come over and help me make sure that I had red zone because of what's happened the last three seasons to me where I'm scrambling the Sunday morning and I don't know what to do or how to call or. No, but. And customer service has died, so nobody picks up a phone. And not at that hour because a lot of people in America are doing what I'm doing.

[Mike Ryan]

I don't know how you're getting red zone, but I know you're getting measles.

[Stugatz]

What do you have? I can help you. What do you have?

[Dan Le Batard]

How do you know I'm good now? No, that's.

[Stugatz]

What do you.

[Chris]

I don't know if I'm good or not.

[Stugatz]

What do you have?

[Chris]

I feel like I'm going to be scrambling when I get home from Dallas on Sunday morning to watch the red zone. I have DirecTV stream and you could.

[Stugatz]

Probably just like log on to your account and just like click something.

[Chris]

Like, I have the channel. You think it's part of the package?

[Stugatz]

Yeah. Like they let you. Like, so I have like Hulu plus live tv and you go in and you just like check my account and then it's like, just add on and like two seconds later. Okay, have it.

[Chris]

All right.

[Stugatz]

Should be good.

[Chris]

All right.

[Stugatz]

I can call me if anything.

[Chris]

All right. You'll come over if I have a problem.

[Stugatz]

Yeah, I'm here for you, Billy.

[Dan Le Batard]

You can be hard to reach. You don't text. I don't believe any of what he's saying. I do. Billy can actually be helpful, but he'd have to return your call.

[Chris]

I mean, I was kind of helpful, what he just told me.

[Stugatz]

Yeah, I'm trying.

[Chris]

I feel I.

[Dan Le Batard]

Do you have any. We've given them in the past, and this might be outdated now, but you can get these companies by threatening to cancel your subscription. Oh, that's a guy who had cable once upon a time. You can negotiate. You can negotiate the price down on some of this stuff if you can get a customer service representative on the line. Billy, you have given great value over the years to our audience. You've saved our audience hundreds of dollars here. Is there any trick like that that can be played that we can tell people without telling people, without bothering the sponsors?

[Stugatz]

Hmm. I don't know. I mean, I don't know if there's any, like, free subscriptions you could, like, do previews for right now. I mean, everything right now is just like NBC or Peacock. You probably have NBC because NBC is like a free channel.

[Dan Le Batard]

So how do you get the red zone? How do you get the red zone discounted? You've given.

[Stugatz]

I have no clue. That. I don't know.

[Dan Le Batard]

Well, but you've given people that advice in the past.

[Chris]

No, I mean, it used to be you would just call up, I will cancel my subscription right now.

[Stugatz]

And then.

[Chris]

So what if we give you a Sunday ticket for free?

[Dan Le Batard]

That.

[Chris]

Yeah, I will not cancel my subscription.

[Billy Gill]

That used to work with DirecTV.

[Stugatz]

Yeah, yeah, that was the number one.

[Chris]

That was the move.

[Dan Le Batard]

Do you not remember saving people thousands of dollars? It was a moment of great gratitude.

[Stugatz]

I remember. I tell every. I remind everybody it's an anniversary. Having my calendar every year, the Monday. First Monday after season. Guys, remember, cancel your red zone. You don't need it for the next 10 months. Like, you're good now and then I'll remind you. So, guys, this is a friendly reminder. And gals, everyone out there, if you want to watch Red Zone, resubscribe, But resubscribe. You know what? I'm going to look at the calendar because I resubscribe, like on that Sunday, because if it's month to month, I look to see what the last date is so that I don't get charged an additional month when I don't need that month, you know, So I wait till the last possible second. If I did it two weeks ago, then I May be short two weeks at the end of the regular season and I need to pay another month just for two weeks. So wait till the last possible second.

[Chris]

This is good advice.

[Stugatz]

Yeah. Thank you.

[Dan Le Batard]

I need some good advice from you guys because the fighting of the owners is hard when, you know, there's. There's just access exchange that makes some of this stuff hard. I've covered Mickey Arison, the greatest owner South Florida sports has ever seen, for 30 years. What he has done with that franchise to make it what it is makes him worthy of the hall of fame. He's now being inducted to because as an owner of a sports team, wherever Mike's complaints are on luxury, tax stuff and everything else where he should lose money so that we could have our fun. What they built in South Florida is a model for a sports franchise that became nationally bigger than what the Dolphins were. Were once when Don Shula was building this town. Like what the Miami heat did for 30 years, when the local sports team's not entitled to be taking over the town for 20 years. And being that kind of relevant, his stewardship of this team, governing Pat Riley with his son. Because I've told you guys many times, hey, guys, Mickey and Nick run that team. It's a tight of. It's five people consortium. Everyone thinks Riley's in charge. That works for everybody. The Arisons will hide in the shadows, but if Mickey and Nick want something, it's their team and Pat Riley's in charge. But I've seen, like, I've seen him walk out of stuff where, you know, he wants Marcus Thornton and the answer's no. And like, that's. I've seen it happen. Because this team is run by the Arisons and has been done so quintessentially in a way that has no precedent in this market. Not even the Dolphins, who soiled everything they built with all of their arrogance and losing. While the heat gave us one bad season last year and lost Mike and one bad season in 20 years. Man deserves the hall of Fame. He's doing three five minute interviews, doesn't want to do any of them. Hall of fame is forcing two of them on him. Forcing two of them on him. He's like, okay, fine, I'll do those. And I'm like, mickey, come do our show. We have a relationship. We're across from you. Come do our show. And he's like, okay, five minutes. I'm like, five minutes. It's a great honor for you.

[Stugatz]

It's a great honor to be on the show.

[Chris]

Well, is he gonna have a stopwatch. Like what happens in five minutes?

[Stugatz]

What's he so busy doing? Well, he's on cruise control now. Let's be honest. Literally, cruise control. Nick's running things. He's doing whatever he wants. By the way, I have good news, good breaking news to save you guys money. So I looked up to see when the season ended. Season starts September 7th. In terms of when you need red zone now. Season ends January 7th. We're in a classic pickle.

[Chris]

Pickles, yo.

[Stugatz]

If I'm charged on the 7th of every month, am I going to be recharged January 7th for a full month just for that one week in January? I don't know. You don't know? Nobody knows. Someone knows, but we don't know. So I did a little googling. If you go to NFL.com iwantnflnetwork/. This week there's a free preview of NFL Red Zone on Cox, Hulu, DirecTV, Dish, Optimum, Sling, Xfinity. So if you have those, you can get a free preview this week, then subscribe next week, and then we don't need to figure out the 77 situation. You know what I mean?

[Billy Gill]

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[Mike Ryan]

Don LeBatard in terms of Heat fans, you're the most irrational of us right now. What what's the pivot?

[Dan Le Batard]

Stone your voice. You. If I were making thinking a cartoon thing that was meant to symbolize irrational, that's the voice I would give higher.

[Stugatz]

Premise. Premise.

[Dan Le Batard]

This is the Dan Levatar show with the Stugach. Chris, you were not helpful that segment as I waited the entire time for the pickles music. 1. It's. It is that Billy said pickles, and I just saw you scanning and searching and did not come up with the Pickles music. So that while Billy was being helpful to the audience, he could explain a classic pickle in a way that would be helpful. Is there any reason you couldn't find the Pickles music?

[Stugatz]

He didn't know we were doing it. I went a little rogue. I'll defend him on this. I just. I didn't know I was gonna do a pickle until I started talking. It just came out. There we go.

[Dan Le Batard]

But I'm saying it. I'm saying he opened with the Serengeti and thought that live reading was a good idea to open this particular show. When I'm fighting with owners. This particular show, you know where I think we go? I think we go. Chris reads at the beginning. It's a Serengeti bit. You understand why I might. Why I might be a little agitated. I don't want to fight with owners. You think that was reading all off the dome, baby.

[Stugatz]

So what do we do with Mickey? Are you going to ask him hardball questions or softball questions? Like, what are we doing?

[Dan Le Batard]

Should we even take the interview?

[Mike Ryan]

I don't know if you would ever accept the 5 minute time limit on an interview with any kind of sports owner, but I feel like you're making a special little concession here for your boy.

[Dan Le Batard]

Okay, so my boy Mickey, is he coming in studio? No.

[Stugatz]

That would be a giant waste of time for him to drive all the way over here for five minutes.

[Chris]

Office is right across the street.

[Stugatz]

That is true.

[Billy Gill]

You have him at the office?

[Stugatz]

Cruise control.

[Dan Le Batard]

Cruise control. Remember, he's actually. Yeah, he lives.

[Stugatz]

Where does he live? What's his address? Send him some fan mail.

[Mike Ryan]

He looks at the arena. He's got to be really confused that Lady Gaga is still there.

[Stugatz]

What was her deal? She just yesterday decided, you know what? I don't want to sing today.

[Chris]

She didn't do the show.

[Mike Ryan]

They let people in the building. She was like 40 minutes away from hitting the stage. And they sent out a message on socials and made an arena announcement that her voice just doesn't have it that night.

[Chris]

I don't know.

[Stugatz]

But Lip Sync. Lip sync.

[Dan Le Batard]

Who's.

[Chris]

What happened all throughout the day.

[Mike Ryan]

She said, according to her statement, that during voice vocal rehearsal on Tuesday, because Tuesday was an off night, she played Sunday and Monday had an off night in Miami. Those will catch up to you. Lady Gaga and then had a rehearsal again on Wednesday that the decision was made after they let people in the building that her voice wasn't good enough to perform. I don't want to make any reckless accusations.

[Dan Le Batard]

Wait a minute. I think we're already here. And play the pickle music. I'm gonna follow you journalistically. Time to throw away all journalistic credibility and get reckless.

[Don Levatar]

Here is something we like to call reckless speculation.

[Chris]

No, you're good.

[Dan Le Batard]

I think this is breaking news. I think this has happened to. No. You could report this as happened to. No, because what you're about to say I think is absolutely true.

[Mike Ryan]

I'm piecing together circumstantial evidence here. You don't make a call on the Voice after people are in the building. My speculation here, albeit reckless, is that off night in Miami got to Lady Gaga. Oh, my God, he knows.

[Dan Le Batard]

Yeah, I don't think that's reckless at all. I think that's responsible. And furthermore, we just saw her not be immune to. I've only known.

[Stugatz]

Gaga.

[Dan Le Batard]

Is James Harden. Is James Harden the only one who survived a Miami night? Who could survive a Miami night? We just. The nflpa, the head of the NFLPA couldn't survive a Miami night. He just lost his job because he went over to tootsies.

[Chris]

I feel like Michael Jordan would have been okay.

[Dan Le Batard]

He played 36 rounds of golf before a playoff game and just came from the golf course to the playoff game.

[Chris]

Well, 36 holes, 36 rounds. Oh, my God, he'd be so tired.

[Stugatz]

That'd be a record.

[Mike Ryan]

What is he, president?

[Stugatz]

So should we just ask Mickey about why Lady Gaga didn't perform last night?

[Dan Le Batard]

No, Mike just reported it. He happens to know. Like, that's if we just saw Gaga. Listen, man, South Florida is worth a couple of points. Everyone knows this. This is not a surprise. Everyone knows that South Florida Knights are worth a couple of points for any basketball team that comes down here. And on many nights, you see a team that has absolutely no legs. That's a real thing. It can be proven by Haberstro.

[Mike Ryan]

He happens to know no vaccine for the south beach flu. Actually, in Florida, no vaccines whatsoever.

[Chris]

But they don't cancel the game after the team is out 40 minutes before games. I mean, people are in the.

[Dan Le Batard]

No, but a player doesn't Play.

[Chris]

Right. A player.

[Dan Le Batard]

That's right. But when she's a player and she's the player, like, this is the economy that these guys are. It's why you see Kawhi Leonard grabbing $28 million on the side, because they know the economy that they are. That would have been funny if her band played without her. That's right. Like, that's. That's the thing, though. About what?

[Mike Ryan]

I preferred that. You know what? You don't think, like the lip sync thing, fine. Don't let people in the building and say, you got to leave. That's. That's just poor form. That's something like Kanye, bleep.

[Don Levatar]

Wow.

[Billy Gill]

Lady Gaga out.

[Mike Ryan]

Load management.

[Dan Le Batard]

That's what happened. I don't think. Let's report it. You're a journalist. Like, come on, Zazlo, you're a journalist.

[Chris]

I'll report it.

[Dan Le Batard]

No, but report it. Look, if. If Lady Gaga is very popular, she doesn't upset her fans or anybody very much.

[Stugatz]

Little monsters.

[Chris]

Little monsters.

[Mike Ryan]

You should have seen the people spilling out of that arena.

[Chris]

Little monster Miami.

[Mike Ryan]

Oh, man.

[Dan Le Batard]

You drive through this traffic to get to here under that $800 million bridge we're building so no one can get in here.

[Chris]

I'll bet that parking lot didn't give.

[Mike Ryan]

You your money back in incredible outfits, let me tell you.

[Dan Le Batard]

But of course they're furious. They come out for the night. We don't even have the infrastructure to hold what would be the rest of that night. When that gets out over here.

[Mike Ryan]

Instead of going to the concert, I just ended up going to my bar. And you could tell exactly everybody who was let down by Lady Gaga. Actually, I was a benefactor of that, so thank you, Lady Gaga.

[Dan Le Batard]

I am seeing in the corner of the screen something that continues to terrify me and I believe is a workplace viol. Immediately after breaking a bottle over the head of Jeremy Tacher in the office, for, I guess, being too theatrical, because he is. Because we've all wanted to do that to him. This person who I've never seen before. I can't see him from here, but it just seems all I'm seeing is rage. Everyone else is dancing. Look at the Cody singing in the back of the screen and what's behind them. A man who is clearly enraged has committed a violent crime and then scampers out of the screen.

[Chris]

Might be foaming. Is he foaming?

[Dan Le Batard]

You can't tell me that's not rage. Look at it. What did you say his name was? How did you identify him?

[Mike Ryan]

He's an established character. It's not even his first video. We played him in videos all week.

[Chris]

Last week, but we haven't seen his behavior.

[Dan Le Batard]

That's right.

[Mike Ryan]

Are you all right?

[Dan Le Batard]

He's over thanked him.

[Stugatz]

Worried about Jeremy.

[Chris]

When I see someone behave like this, I get choked up.

[Dan Le Batard]

It.

[Chris]

You know.

[Mike Ryan]

That's the second time.

[Dan Le Batard]

No, but choked up. Emotional or scared because you're scared. This look we've got. That is a. That is a human resources problem. That right there, that's proof.

[Chris]

We haven't seen Jeremy since.

[Dan Le Batard]

That he had a bottle broken over his head. Because. What do you mean we haven't seen him since. Is he at the hospital? Like. That's what clearly happened. We have video proof and he's rabid before he runs out of the screen. This. This is enough to convict this man.

[Chris]

He might have rabies.

[Dan Le Batard]

So we've got. Football is upon us. Mickey Arison. What do I do? Can I get some creative judgment here, please? Seriously? Because.

[Mike Ryan]

Gotta be five minutes.

[Dan Le Batard]

It's five minutes. He's got. He's got five minutes is what he's willing to give us. Should we be grateful for the five minutes?

[Stugatz]

Absolutely not. We have to put his feet to the fire on this. This isn't a power grill. Exactly. Right. Zaz needs to accuse him of that insider trading that he did yesterday. That. What were you accusing him of? That he. Some backdoor deals that he got.

[Chris]

Oh, with Anthony Carter?

[Stugatz]

Yeah. You got to ask about Anthony Carter.

[Chris]

Well, that's true.

[Stugatz]

You got to ask about the air and the chair. You got to ask about all kinds of stuff.

[Dan Le Batard]

Should we ask him about leaving the arena in a disguise after they were swept like Poppy claim.

[Stugatz]

Got to ask him about that. That is true, yes.

[Dan Le Batard]

Let's put together a list of questions. Now you're doing it. But we only have five minutes. We only have five minutes. And I'm asking you just journalistically. These are not concessions we've ever made for anybody.

[Chris]

Mike's got a question for sure.

[Dan Le Batard]

More of a statement.

[Mike Ryan]

Okay, but my question is Terry Rozier.

[Dan Le Batard]

Yeah. All right. So true or false?

[Stugatz]

True or false.

[Dan Le Batard]

Well, so you guys tell me what to do about this because I don't want to be in bed with the owners. I do not. Mark Cuban is now rabid with Pablo Torre. Rabid. Going after Pablo Torre. And we're fighting with owners. And this is a day of celebration. This is a man who does not trust the media. Does not like. Like speaking in public. Does not want the attention. Does not need the attention. Would prefer to be in the shadows. They've run this franchise really well. He deserves the honor that he's getting this week. No one would dispute it. Right?

[Stugatz]

He let Michael Beasley and Rio go and they won a championship more recently than the Heat. So.

[Dan Le Batard]

So you guys don't think. I mean, Zaslow, you're a two time champion broadcaster. Like the legacy and the legacy of Arison. In a minute.

[Chris]

Oh, I mean, best owner we've ever had down here. I know people get on him for the spending, but money's never been an issue. When the team is good, he doesn't want to spend it. The team is not going to be good. It's a franchise that, you know, you don't have scandal, you don't have embarrassment, and the actions speak for itself when the building is packed every single night. It's a great franchise, Mickey, true or false.

[Jonathan Zaslow]

You know who Jonathan Zaslow is.

[Dan Le Batard]

All right, if you want to do it that way, we can do it that way. But it'll require us to make it entertaining in a. In a period of time that's not. It's not reasonable. And I don't want to agree to these terms. I think, I think they're shit terms. But I'd also. I'd also like to give him his respect, right? I'd like to. I would like to celebrate someone worthy of celebration.

[Chris]

What if you tell him, in order for me to give you the proper respect, any more than five minutes?

[Dan Le Batard]

The answer is no. The answer is no. It's five minutes. It's the most he's giving anyone. Look, the corridors of power on this stuff. These people don't have to answer to anyone anymore. Anyone. Five minutes can be an eternity. Five minutes is more than anyone else is getting because there's so many layers.

[Mike Ryan]

Look what your wife tells you.

[Dan Le Batard]

Bulmer is sitting here saying, I didn't know anything. I didn't know anything.

[Stugatz]

Closed.

[Dan Le Batard]

Yeah, I didn't know anything. And. And I'm remembering a 60 Minutes piece they did on Prokorov. Oh, this owner, he's got this suspicious money, but look at him. He's on jet skis and he's so quaint. He doesn't have a computer. He doesn't even have a computer. That's right, because it ties him to nothing. You idiots. You're 60 minutes. You don't understand that there's so much space between where people get in trouble and the money. That we've seen it climb to the top of the presidency and putting in place someone who's going to make us all sick in Florida. It's going to make us all sick in Florida.

[Stugatz]

But that's why the Mickey thing is weird, because he's not going to give us any real answers.

[Dan Le Batard]

But so. So no, you say don't take him. Make a stand.

[Mike Ryan]

Let's take Vinnie Viola for 10 minutes.

[Dan Le Batard]

So reject Mickey. Reject the Mickey Harrison interview.

[Stugatz]

You wouldn't play hard to get.

[Mike Ryan]

If you got an email that said blank owner for five minutes, you wouldn't take it. Now's a good time to remember where tequila's story truly began. In 1795, Cuervo invented tequila. Cuervo, what are you doing here?

[Dan Le Batard]

Cuervo? Anytime someone says Cuervo, I show up.

[Mike Ryan]

Well, I do know that to be true. But even during ad reads like Cuervo, I think he could lay out especially for one of our great partners.

[Dan Le Batard]

Sweet, delicious Cuervo.

[Mike Ryan]

Since then, Cuervo has stayed true to its roots. The same family, the same land, the same passion.

[Dan Le Batard]

Cuervo.

[Mike Ryan]

So enjoy the tequila that started it all. Cuervo.

[Dan Le Batard]

Cuervo.

[Mike Ryan]

The tequila that invented tequila. Proximo. Cuervo.com, please drink responsibly.

[Dan Le Batard]

Cuervo.

[Mike Ryan]

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