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Mike Ryan
Now's a good time to remember where tequila's story truly began. In 1795, Cuervo invented tequila.
Dan Le Batard
Cuervo.
Mike Ryan
What are you doing here?
Dan Le Batard
Cuervo? Anytime someone says Cuervo, I show up.
Mike Ryan
Well, I do know that to be true. But even during ad reads like Cuervo, I think he could lay out, especially for one of our great partners.
Dan Le Batard
Sweet, delicious Cuervo.
Mike Ryan
Since then, Cuervo has stayed true to its roots. The same family, the same land, the same passion.
Dan Le Batard
Cuervo.
Mike Ryan
So enjoy the tequila that started it all. Cuervo.
Dan Le Batard
Cuervo.
Mike Ryan
The tequila that invented tequila. Proximo. Cuervo.com Please drink responsibly.
Dan Le Batard
Cuervo. This is the Don Levator show with the Stugats podcast. Football.
Don Levatar
Is back, Jack. Oh, my. We've waited for so long, we're so damn excited that we put it in a song. No need, no check downs give me big hits and quarterbacks keep your fantasy team from falling off the track Football is backjacked Whether on the ground or through the air when the chips are down and you throw a prayer.
Stugatz
When.
Don Levatar
Your team is primed and on the.
Dan Le Batard
Hun.
Don Levatar
It'S four content you refuse to.
Stugatz
Buck.
Don Levatar
When the shoulder pads and helmets crack that's how you know that football is backjack. Let me hear you say football, Football, football. Football is backjacked. This high is wild and out of control and we're gonna ride it every week till we reach the Super Bowl. No need, no check. Big hits and quarterbacks. If you say this game's the best, I'll say Zach. Football is backjacked. Football is backjacked. Football is back. Football is back, Jack.
Jonathan Zaslow
A beautiful morning on the Serengeti. As you see now the zaslo has spotted his plain stick, and he seems to be reveling in the joy that is the plain stick. Beautiful morning on the Serengeti. He's enjoying.
Dan Le Batard
Look, so before we start all this. Hold on a second, because we're coming out of. I just saw a random black dude break a bottle over someone's head in the other room, and I don't know what that was about. Jeremy got a bottle broken over his head, and then I come in here, and he's got the plain sticks. He's finally got the plain sticks. He thinks they're delicious.
Jonathan Zaslow
The Serengeti.
Dan Le Batard
I don't know what you're doing, but I did hear and that I hear. I. Mike, what did you tell me during a liquid IV ad? I don't know why we decided Chris should Be on the reads.
Chris
We don't have to do.
Mike Ryan
We don't have to relive, mispronounce caffeine.
Dan Le Batard
You what? You thought it was a good idea to go live with you reading?
Jonathan Zaslow
I did think it was a decent idea. As the zaslo enjoys his plain stick.
Mike Ryan
And he had work in Serengeti again.
Jonathan Zaslow
In the Serengeti.
Stugatz
In the morning.
Jonathan Zaslow
In the morning.
Dan Le Batard
How did you say caffeine the other day? In the liquor, I said caffeine.
Mike Ryan
All right.
Stugatz
Get over it.
Mike Ryan
Hi, Finane.
Dan Le Batard
How do you guys feel about the plain stick? Before we get. We got plenty of content today. We got way, way, way too much show. We'll get to it in a second. The plain stick. Joy Taylor's been mocking Zaslow for many years about his love of this. The love of this stick. And it's disgusting. Like, of all the donuts, it's the plainest. Right?
Chris
Don't go and touch my lips.
Dan Le Batard
You. But you would agree. Would everyone agree here that it's the plainest of the donuts? Like, this is? Yes. There's no plainer donut than the plain stick. Correct. It's like eating just doughy bread. It's not. It doesn't have very much flavor to it. Correct.
Jonathan Zaslow
Give me one of those things.
Stugatz
I mean, it is glazed.
Dan Le Batard
No, no, his. His is a plain. No, you've got. No, look, what you guys have isn't what he has. He's got one without the glaze. You guys have glaze on it. That changes everything. Good. Of course the glaze is good. Yeah.
Mike Ryan
Chris has a plain one, though, on the Serengeti.
Dan Le Batard
Yeah, you're gonna love it. No, he's not gonna love that. It's like. No, no, it's dry.
Stugatz
Yeah.
Mike Ryan
Not good.
Dan Le Batard
A donut needs to be. A donut needs to be sweet. Put it on the poll at Lebatard show. Doesn't a donut need to be sweet?
Mike Ryan
I think it also needs to be round.
Stugatz
It needs accompaniment, this thing. Like, it needs a coffee or some other flavor to it.
Chris
I need to go on my belly.
Dan Le Batard
Put it on the. Put it on the pole as well. Does a donut need to be round? We've got. The owners are mad at us. Okay. We've got a situation where the big owners club. And this is a problem when you get the owners mad at you. The owner's got all the money. The owners couldn't be in hiding and stuff. And now Mark Cuban is coming after Pablo Torre with. Where are your facts, Jack? And it's like. But But I don't want to do that today because we got football. Because football is back.
Stugatz
We, we were having a conversation before the show, Dan, that I don't think you caught, but we're trying to figure out. Exactly. Because Pablo now, you know, Meadowlark have this partnership with the athletic, so they.
Chris
Go plain stick down.
Stugatz
Does the Steve Ballmer sue Meadowlark or the athletic for this story?
Dan Le Batard
Look, some of this stuff that we're doing is hard to do. I don't know, maybe you didn't notice at the beginning of Pablo Torre finds out, but I had a journalism decision to make on something we were publishing that was going to infuriate hba. And I got the world's most powerful sports guy as our CEO. CEO. And of course you're afraid of the money because these people can bury you in lawsuits. Trump is hurting the media just by grabbing tens of millions here and there with just bogus stuff like, so this stuff's dangerous when you bring the fight to these particular people. Like, they're good at hiding, they're good at avoiding questions. Mickey Harrison's going into the hall of Fame. He's reluctantly doing two five minute interviews. They've offered us a five minute interview that has that. Yeah, but it has five minute interview.
Stugatz
We're really going to get to the.
Dan Le Batard
Nuts and bolts of things like so where we are now agitating people. And Mark Cuban, I want to get to him. But football's back. But. But football's tonight. Football is back, Jack. I'm sorry, I don't know. I mean, geez, why did, why did a random black man break a bottle over the head of Jeremy in the other room? Name's Carl.
Mike Ryan
We've established him as a character. You know, Carl, I was like, all right, he just did it once, but he won't do it again.
Chris
Maybe that should be his gimmick.
Dan Le Batard
Just comes in when somebody is doing too much and breaks a bottle over just Jeremy's head. No, you know what?
Chris
I don't think anyone's claimed that gimmick.
Dan Le Batard
Says, you know what? I would. Let's give Carl that power. Now, when Carl sees that any of us, me included, are using bad judgment or is being Jeremy, let's call it being Jeremy. He's allowed to come in and slap someone over the head and break a bottle over their head. I think that's a great idea.
Stugatz
Well, you would. But here's the. I think that Carl would assume that you just referring to him as the random black man is bad judgment. But then Carl, the Random black man as you referred to him would come in and hit you in the head with a bottle rage video.
Dan Le Batard
Look at him and that video. Everyone else is dancing and having properly raged. He seems properly raged to me, she.
Mike Ryan
Seems delighted giving you a lifesaver and you're just like, I'd rather drown.
Dan Le Batard
There is a bottle broken over a head and he runs off. Scares me if you watch me. You guys saw, look at that. That's just rage. It and obvious rage. We can't have that in the workplace. Look at, look at the Cody's. They're there. Everyone's having a good time. It that's football.
Mike Ryan
Yeah. Now close your eyes and imagine he's a random white man. I don't think you're dubbing it as rage.
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Mike Ryan
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Stugatz
Hey.
Mike Ryan
Hey, Billy. As a proud member of your inner circle, remember when we were hanging out last weekend?
Stugatz
Yeah. Fishtail Palms.
Mike Ryan
Fishtail Palms. Great memories. We made kids playing in the pool and in our hands, a nice ice cold can of Miller. It was so hot out.
Stugatz
I know, but it was so cold in my hand.
Mike Ryan
We took that first sip. It was crisp. It was refreshing. Oh, man. There is nothing like cracking open a Miller Light with your crew and your inner circle bones.
Stugatz
Hell yeah, we fist bumped.
Mike Ryan
Whether it's. We actually really did. Whether it's that touchdown make a sound.
Stugatz
But it just bam, boom.
Mike Ryan
Whether it's that touchdown you didn't see coming, or just arguing about fantasy lineups, you and I did plenty of that. Miller Light has been the taste that you can depend on for 50 years. Brutal for flavor with simple ingredients, rich toffee notes, and that iconic golden color. And here's a kicker. Billy.
Stugatz
What?
Mike Ryan
It's just 96 calories.
Stugatz
What?
Mike Ryan
3.2 carbs per 12 ounces. The original light beer since 1975 and still hitting different five decades later. Miller Lite, great taste. 96 calories. Go to millerlight.com dan to find delivery options near you. Or you can pick up some Miller Lite pretty much anywhere they sell beer. It's Miller time. Celebrate responsibly. Miller Brewing Co. Milwaukee, Wisconsin. 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces.
Dan Le Batard
Don LeBatard. You were that kind of sad this morning, taking the barrage of anger from Stug because you hadn't booked him enough interviews. The only reason I keep bringing this up is because you not are throwing a big party on Thursday. You're doing it, and I want people to support what you're doing because Stugatz has not made this easy Stug.
Stugatz
Well, you know. Well, yeah, you know.
Dan Le Batard
This is the Dan Levatar show with the Stugach. So football is back tonight with Cowboys and Eagles. Zaslow was laughing because he was Saying he was saying that Colin Cowherd didn't know that Friday's game was in Brazil, but I didn't know there was a Thursday game. So I don't think I'm in a position to mock him. I thought I learned watching YouTube ads scroll across my screen. Wait a minute, there's a game on Friday night and it's Chiefs, Chargers. And I thought that's how the season was starting. I didn't realize, oh, of course they're going to start with Thursday Night Football. I missed that.
Billy Gill
Did the Chiefs win the super bowl last year?
Dan Le Batard
I mean, the Chiefs.
Billy Gill
I know they didn't.
Stugatz
The answer is no.
Dan Le Batard
You're right.
Billy Gill
You always start with the super bowl.
Stugatz
Champion on opening night at home Thursday.
Shopify Ad Host
That's what you do.
Dan Le Batard
You. You say that and you can never go wrong, obviously, with the Eagles. Cowboys. Of course not. That's great storyline. But we're not. It's not up for dispute. Is it that you. That the marquee game is the one that has Taylor Swift in. Correct. It's still. That we're still on that, are we not? That the numbers are going to be highest for whatever. That the biggest star in the sport right now is Taylor Swift's fiancee. That. That's the biggest star in the sport. That they just had a record podcast. The podcast that the Kelsey's are doing. That's a very difficult business venture.
Mike Ryan
We're trying to talk ball. Damn.
Dan Le Batard
We're talking ball. No, but I'm asking you the ratings higher for Thursday, Eagles, Cowboys, or the Taylor Swift game on Friday night? Because now they're taking Thursday and Friday. Did they put their. Did they put their big game on Friday? Because they don't have Fridays yet. They've only got Thursdays and Sundays and Mondays.
Stugatz
Well, they have the Black Friday game, too, but Thursday night is on NBC and Peacock and Friday is on YouTube. So I think that NBC, Peacock.
Billy Gill
So can we not get it if we don't have YouTube TV?
Stugatz
I don't know. It's a good question.
Dan Le Batard
So a lot of people are headed to this. This is confusing. This is all getting expensive.
Stugatz
I don't know about Red Zone. Except now there's commercials and Pat McAfee is telling, you know, whatever his name is, Hanson. Oh, no one's upset about commercials. Like, get with the program, Pat.
Dan Le Batard
Now they're saying they've been doing this for a year. They're like, hey, we've been throwing commercials.
Stugatz
At you for a while now.
Dan Le Batard
This is not the ESPN thing.
Mike Ryan
They've been preparing us for this. Also, ESPN is a convenient foil because they don't actually control this thing just yet. They control it next year. So the NFL is using ESPN as a pseudo meat shield here.
Dan Le Batard
Sports fans, I am sorry to say this to you. You've heard Sampson all over our network taking some glee in this. He's been warning you. Him and Skipper have both been warning you. Hey, sports fans are all going to get screwed here, okay? Like, the. The thing that's going to happen is your fandom is so addictive, and we know football is king. You don't want to miss any of those games. Hell, I just got sucked in to mob land. And I didn't have Paramount plus. And I'm like, I don't want Paramount Plus. I don't like what's on Paramount Plus. And then I saw Mobland and I'm like, holy, that's better than the Sopranos.
Mike Ryan
Good show.
Dan Le Batard
No, I'm like that. If they keep.
Mike Ryan
Relax.
Dan Le Batard
If. No, if they keep doing that and it appears from the way that it ended, they're going to keep doing that.
Chris
Who's in that?
Dan Le Batard
Mobland? It's everybody. Mob.
Stugatz
Everybody.
Dan Le Batard
Mobland. Helen Mirren. It plays a bad person for the first time and a great one.
Mike Ryan
Oh, she's always bad.
Dan Le Batard
Pierce Brosnan plays a bad person and a great one. Tom Hardy. And then the king of it. The king of it is Guy Ritchie. That's five Guy Ritchie movies is what Mobland is, one after another. And it would be better than the Sopranos if I gave it eight seasons.
Chris
Paramount plus is good. Don't they have all those Taylor Sheridan shows?
Stugatz
Bangers.
Dan Le Batard
But.
Stugatz
But they have all the different paw patrols also, okay?
Dan Le Batard
So you're going to have to have all them. You understand the competition for money and the competition for content, as the Kelsey's and Taylor Swift and everyone else realizes the value of good content. South park realizes it. Colbert realizes it. Conan o' Brien realizes it. The. The whole entertainment landscape is changing, and everybody wants football. And football is Thursday night and it's Friday night, and then college football, minor league football, our second biggest sport in America. That's all day Saturday. And now you got Sunday. And now. Now you're off and running on what is basically cocaine snorting for 17 straight weeks. Because the gambling action. 300. What is it? Is it 300 billion strong? The gambling action? It might be 30 billion. It might be 30 billion.
Mike Ryan
Nick Wright's account.
Dan Le Batard
It makes it. Oh, on the weekend when you're off, you can just sit there and play with your money on Television while watching football, which makes it easy.
Mike Ryan
Doesn't make describing awesome things.
Dan Le Batard
Well, this is what's upon us. Right?
Mike Ryan
But also, I hear you talk, and I'm like, man, how whack are Tuesdays and Wednesdays?
Dan Le Batard
You say all of this. And I don't want to go super serious on where we're headed because you guys say I always dampen the fun on football. Yeah. So don't do it.
Mike Ryan
Yep, there you go. Boom.
Stugatz
There is a choice. Chris, you're absolutely right. There's a fork in the road here, Dan. There's the fun road, and there's the Dan road. So you get to choose. Which way do we want to go today? The fun road or the not fun road?
Chris
It's true. This segment was headed in a direction where, hey, we're just going to talk about awesome things. Yeah, I like that direction.
Stugatz
Yeah. Then there's always the third one that we don't see because this is like a spork where Dan's like, vaccines. He's like, whoa, hold on a second.
Mike Ryan
A random what guy?
Dan Le Batard
Zaslow, you are sitting there next to me, and you're critiquing the show. You're getting more and more confidence in that seat.
Chris
I'm just telling you what I like.
Dan Le Batard
You're a college football expert. Everybody knows it. Sweets on the road, first class flying. Because everyone knows his knowledge is something that is needed in the top echelon of where sports are described. Your power is hungry. We've seen it physically. Chris, Cody has mocked you on this front. And one of the reasons this show became less fun is because I was starting to do it, as I'm telling you guys, while fighting with owners, which is unpleasant. And next to me is a guy eating a plane stick who can't get his headphones right. And there are people scurrying in under his chair because evidently you didn't know how to do your job while I was talking. Trying to have fun. Right? While you guys were doing that. While you guys were doing that, I'm sitting here trying to do the show. Serious time fighting owners. Football's coming. Dan wants to be Dan. Vaccines. Look out. Florida is the most distressed state. Keep dancing, sports monkey boy.
Chris
I mean, I've been doing this long enough. I know how a microphone and headsets work. Is it possible there was sabotage? Wow.
Stugatz
Wow. A saboteur amongst us.
Chris
You're saying I know how to use equipment?
Billy Gill
Only somebody else in that room other than you, huh?
Dan Le Batard
Who would it be?
Stugatz
Who done it?
Chris
I also want to talk ball clearly, no.
Dan Le Batard
But who would. It would be a guy. Because. Because the women have fled the premises. They're covering college football. They're no longer wanting to be in Miami. Who sabotaged this?
Stugatz
The implication was it was you. So Tony was implying you sabotage wants to talk bald.
Dan Le Batard
You guys were implying it was stugat.
Stugatz
No, the chair. I don't think he's allowed in the building.
Dan Le Batard
That it was the chair.
Chris
Talk about.
Mike Ryan
You gotta worry about typhoid fever now.
Dan Le Batard
Oh, I get it, dog. I know who he is now. You get it's a good impersonation.
Stugatz
Trying to figure it out.
Mike Ryan
Come over here now.
Dan Le Batard
Mike Ryan, were you hurt that your limited fakes none of them won?
Mike Ryan
No, no, no, no. Cause Miranda is a first ballot HOFer.
Stugatz
I have an update. The game you can watch for free on YouTube on Friday. It also says you have access to it with subscription to NFL plus and YouTube TV. But if it's free, you don't need any of that. You can just watch it for free. Yeah, you just watch it on YouTube.
Chris
Do we know how I'm getting red zone this weekend?
Stugatz
Don't ask.
Billy Gill
What do you got?
Dan Le Batard
I needed help with it. I needed help with it. I needed an assistant to come over and help me make sure that I had red zone because of what's happened the last three seasons to me where I'm scrambling the Sunday morning and I don't know what to do or how to call or. No, but. And customer service has died, so nobody picks up a phone. And not at that hour because a lot of people in America are doing what I'm doing.
Mike Ryan
I don't know how you're getting red zone, but I know you're getting measles.
Stugatz
What do you have? I can help you. What do you have?
Dan Le Batard
How do you know I'm good now? No, that's.
Stugatz
What do you.
Chris
I don't know if I'm good or not.
Stugatz
What do you have?
Chris
I feel like I'm going to be scrambling when I get home from Dallas on Sunday morning to watch the red zone. I have DirecTV stream and you could.
Stugatz
Probably just like log on to your account and just like click something.
Chris
Like, I have the channel. You think it's part of the package?
Stugatz
Yeah. Like they let you. Like, so I have like Hulu plus live tv and you go in and you just like check my account and then it's like, just add on and like two seconds later. Okay, have it.
Chris
All right.
Stugatz
Should be good.
Chris
All right.
Stugatz
I can call me if anything.
Chris
All right. You'll come over if I have a problem.
Stugatz
Yeah, I'm here for you, Billy.
Dan Le Batard
You can be hard to reach. You don't text. I don't believe any of what he's saying. I do. Billy can actually be helpful, but he'd have to return your call.
Chris
I mean, I was kind of helpful, what he just told me.
Stugatz
Yeah, I'm trying.
Chris
I feel I.
Dan Le Batard
Do you have any. We've given them in the past, and this might be outdated now, but you can get these companies by threatening to cancel your subscription. Oh, that's a guy who had cable once upon a time. You can negotiate. You can negotiate the price down on some of this stuff if you can get a customer service representative on the line. Billy, you have given great value over the years to our audience. You've saved our audience hundreds of dollars here. Is there any trick like that that can be played that we can tell people without telling people, without bothering the sponsors?
Stugatz
Hmm. I don't know. I mean, I don't know if there's any, like, free subscriptions you could, like, do previews for right now. I mean, everything right now is just like NBC or Peacock. You probably have NBC because NBC is like a free channel.
Dan Le Batard
So how do you get the red zone? How do you get the red zone discounted? You've given.
Stugatz
I have no clue. That. I don't know.
Dan Le Batard
Well, but you've given people that advice in the past.
Chris
No, I mean, it used to be you would just call up, I will cancel my subscription right now.
Stugatz
And then.
Chris
So what if we give you a Sunday ticket for free?
Dan Le Batard
That.
Chris
Yeah, I will not cancel my subscription.
Billy Gill
That used to work with DirecTV.
Stugatz
Yeah, yeah, that was the number one.
Chris
That was the move.
Dan Le Batard
Do you not remember saving people thousands of dollars? It was a moment of great gratitude.
Stugatz
I remember. I tell every. I remind everybody it's an anniversary. Having my calendar every year, the Monday. First Monday after season. Guys, remember, cancel your red zone. You don't need it for the next 10 months. Like, you're good now and then I'll remind you. So, guys, this is a friendly reminder. And gals, everyone out there, if you want to watch Red Zone, resubscribe, But resubscribe. You know what? I'm going to look at the calendar because I resubscribe, like on that Sunday, because if it's month to month, I look to see what the last date is so that I don't get charged an additional month when I don't need that month, you know, So I wait till the last possible second. If I did it two weeks ago, then I May be short two weeks at the end of the regular season and I need to pay another month just for two weeks. So wait till the last possible second.
Chris
This is good advice.
Stugatz
Yeah. Thank you.
Dan Le Batard
I need some good advice from you guys because the fighting of the owners is hard when, you know, there's. There's just access exchange that makes some of this stuff hard. I've covered Mickey Arison, the greatest owner South Florida sports has ever seen, for 30 years. What he has done with that franchise to make it what it is makes him worthy of the hall of fame. He's now being inducted to because as an owner of a sports team, wherever Mike's complaints are on luxury, tax stuff and everything else where he should lose money so that we could have our fun. What they built in South Florida is a model for a sports franchise that became nationally bigger than what the Dolphins were. Were once when Don Shula was building this town. Like what the Miami heat did for 30 years, when the local sports team's not entitled to be taking over the town for 20 years. And being that kind of relevant, his stewardship of this team, governing Pat Riley with his son. Because I've told you guys many times, hey, guys, Mickey and Nick run that team. It's a tight of. It's five people consortium. Everyone thinks Riley's in charge. That works for everybody. The Arisons will hide in the shadows, but if Mickey and Nick want something, it's their team and Pat Riley's in charge. But I've seen, like, I've seen him walk out of stuff where, you know, he wants Marcus Thornton and the answer's no. And like, that's. I've seen it happen. Because this team is run by the Arisons and has been done so quintessentially in a way that has no precedent in this market. Not even the Dolphins, who soiled everything they built with all of their arrogance and losing. While the heat gave us one bad season last year and lost Mike and one bad season in 20 years. Man deserves the hall of Fame. He's doing three five minute interviews, doesn't want to do any of them. Hall of fame is forcing two of them on him. Forcing two of them on him. He's like, okay, fine, I'll do those. And I'm like, mickey, come do our show. We have a relationship. We're across from you. Come do our show. And he's like, okay, five minutes. I'm like, five minutes. It's a great honor for you.
Stugatz
It's a great honor to be on the show.
Chris
Well, is he gonna have a stopwatch. Like what happens in five minutes?
Stugatz
What's he so busy doing? Well, he's on cruise control now. Let's be honest. Literally, cruise control. Nick's running things. He's doing whatever he wants. By the way, I have good news, good breaking news to save you guys money. So I looked up to see when the season ended. Season starts September 7th. In terms of when you need red zone now. Season ends January 7th. We're in a classic pickle.
Chris
Pickles, yo.
Stugatz
If I'm charged on the 7th of every month, am I going to be recharged January 7th for a full month just for that one week in January? I don't know. You don't know? Nobody knows. Someone knows, but we don't know. So I did a little googling. If you go to NFL.com iwantnflnetwork/. This week there's a free preview of NFL Red Zone on Cox, Hulu, DirecTV, Dish, Optimum, Sling, Xfinity. So if you have those, you can get a free preview this week, then subscribe next week, and then we don't need to figure out the 77 situation. You know what I mean?
Billy Gill
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Mike Ryan
Don LeBatard in terms of Heat fans, you're the most irrational of us right now. What what's the pivot?
Dan Le Batard
Stone your voice. You. If I were making thinking a cartoon thing that was meant to symbolize irrational, that's the voice I would give higher.
Stugatz
Premise. Premise.
Dan Le Batard
This is the Dan Levatar show with the Stugach. Chris, you were not helpful that segment as I waited the entire time for the pickles music. 1. It's. It is that Billy said pickles, and I just saw you scanning and searching and did not come up with the Pickles music. So that while Billy was being helpful to the audience, he could explain a classic pickle in a way that would be helpful. Is there any reason you couldn't find the Pickles music?
Stugatz
He didn't know we were doing it. I went a little rogue. I'll defend him on this. I just. I didn't know I was gonna do a pickle until I started talking. It just came out. There we go.
Dan Le Batard
But I'm saying it. I'm saying he opened with the Serengeti and thought that live reading was a good idea to open this particular show. When I'm fighting with owners. This particular show, you know where I think we go? I think we go. Chris reads at the beginning. It's a Serengeti bit. You understand why I might. Why I might be a little agitated. I don't want to fight with owners. You think that was reading all off the dome, baby.
Stugatz
So what do we do with Mickey? Are you going to ask him hardball questions or softball questions? Like, what are we doing?
Dan Le Batard
Should we even take the interview?
Mike Ryan
I don't know if you would ever accept the 5 minute time limit on an interview with any kind of sports owner, but I feel like you're making a special little concession here for your boy.
Dan Le Batard
Okay, so my boy Mickey, is he coming in studio? No.
Stugatz
That would be a giant waste of time for him to drive all the way over here for five minutes.
Chris
Office is right across the street.
Stugatz
That is true.
Billy Gill
You have him at the office?
Stugatz
Cruise control.
Dan Le Batard
Cruise control. Remember, he's actually. Yeah, he lives.
Stugatz
Where does he live? What's his address? Send him some fan mail.
Mike Ryan
He looks at the arena. He's got to be really confused that Lady Gaga is still there.
Stugatz
What was her deal? She just yesterday decided, you know what? I don't want to sing today.
Chris
She didn't do the show.
Mike Ryan
They let people in the building. She was like 40 minutes away from hitting the stage. And they sent out a message on socials and made an arena announcement that her voice just doesn't have it that night.
Chris
I don't know.
Stugatz
But Lip Sync. Lip sync.
Dan Le Batard
Who's.
Chris
What happened all throughout the day.
Mike Ryan
She said, according to her statement, that during voice vocal rehearsal on Tuesday, because Tuesday was an off night, she played Sunday and Monday had an off night in Miami. Those will catch up to you. Lady Gaga and then had a rehearsal again on Wednesday that the decision was made after they let people in the building that her voice wasn't good enough to perform. I don't want to make any reckless accusations.
Dan Le Batard
Wait a minute. I think we're already here. And play the pickle music. I'm gonna follow you journalistically. Time to throw away all journalistic credibility and get reckless.
Don Levatar
Here is something we like to call reckless speculation.
Chris
No, you're good.
Dan Le Batard
I think this is breaking news. I think this has happened to. No. You could report this as happened to. No, because what you're about to say I think is absolutely true.
Mike Ryan
I'm piecing together circumstantial evidence here. You don't make a call on the Voice after people are in the building. My speculation here, albeit reckless, is that off night in Miami got to Lady Gaga. Oh, my God, he knows.
Dan Le Batard
Yeah, I don't think that's reckless at all. I think that's responsible. And furthermore, we just saw her not be immune to. I've only known.
Stugatz
Gaga.
Dan Le Batard
Is James Harden. Is James Harden the only one who survived a Miami night? Who could survive a Miami night? We just. The nflpa, the head of the NFLPA couldn't survive a Miami night. He just lost his job because he went over to tootsies.
Chris
I feel like Michael Jordan would have been okay.
Dan Le Batard
He played 36 rounds of golf before a playoff game and just came from the golf course to the playoff game.
Chris
Well, 36 holes, 36 rounds. Oh, my God, he'd be so tired.
Stugatz
That'd be a record.
Mike Ryan
What is he, president?
Stugatz
So should we just ask Mickey about why Lady Gaga didn't perform last night?
Dan Le Batard
No, Mike just reported it. He happens to know. Like, that's if we just saw Gaga. Listen, man, South Florida is worth a couple of points. Everyone knows this. This is not a surprise. Everyone knows that South Florida Knights are worth a couple of points for any basketball team that comes down here. And on many nights, you see a team that has absolutely no legs. That's a real thing. It can be proven by Haberstro.
Mike Ryan
He happens to know no vaccine for the south beach flu. Actually, in Florida, no vaccines whatsoever.
Chris
But they don't cancel the game after the team is out 40 minutes before games. I mean, people are in the.
Dan Le Batard
No, but a player doesn't Play.
Chris
Right. A player.
Dan Le Batard
That's right. But when she's a player and she's the player, like, this is the economy that these guys are. It's why you see Kawhi Leonard grabbing $28 million on the side, because they know the economy that they are. That would have been funny if her band played without her. That's right. Like, that's. That's the thing, though. About what?
Mike Ryan
I preferred that. You know what? You don't think, like the lip sync thing, fine. Don't let people in the building and say, you got to leave. That's. That's just poor form. That's something like Kanye, bleep.
Don Levatar
Wow.
Billy Gill
Lady Gaga out.
Mike Ryan
Load management.
Dan Le Batard
That's what happened. I don't think. Let's report it. You're a journalist. Like, come on, Zazlo, you're a journalist.
Chris
I'll report it.
Dan Le Batard
No, but report it. Look, if. If Lady Gaga is very popular, she doesn't upset her fans or anybody very much.
Stugatz
Little monsters.
Chris
Little monsters.
Mike Ryan
You should have seen the people spilling out of that arena.
Chris
Little monster Miami.
Mike Ryan
Oh, man.
Dan Le Batard
You drive through this traffic to get to here under that $800 million bridge we're building so no one can get in here.
Chris
I'll bet that parking lot didn't give.
Mike Ryan
You your money back in incredible outfits, let me tell you.
Dan Le Batard
But of course they're furious. They come out for the night. We don't even have the infrastructure to hold what would be the rest of that night. When that gets out over here.
Mike Ryan
Instead of going to the concert, I just ended up going to my bar. And you could tell exactly everybody who was let down by Lady Gaga. Actually, I was a benefactor of that, so thank you, Lady Gaga.
Dan Le Batard
I am seeing in the corner of the screen something that continues to terrify me and I believe is a workplace viol. Immediately after breaking a bottle over the head of Jeremy Tacher in the office, for, I guess, being too theatrical, because he is. Because we've all wanted to do that to him. This person who I've never seen before. I can't see him from here, but it just seems all I'm seeing is rage. Everyone else is dancing. Look at the Cody singing in the back of the screen and what's behind them. A man who is clearly enraged has committed a violent crime and then scampers out of the screen.
Chris
Might be foaming. Is he foaming?
Dan Le Batard
You can't tell me that's not rage. Look at it. What did you say his name was? How did you identify him?
Mike Ryan
He's an established character. It's not even his first video. We played him in videos all week.
Chris
Last week, but we haven't seen his behavior.
Dan Le Batard
That's right.
Mike Ryan
Are you all right?
Dan Le Batard
He's over thanked him.
Stugatz
Worried about Jeremy.
Chris
When I see someone behave like this, I get choked up.
Dan Le Batard
It.
Chris
You know.
Mike Ryan
That's the second time.
Dan Le Batard
No, but choked up. Emotional or scared because you're scared. This look we've got. That is a. That is a human resources problem. That right there, that's proof.
Chris
We haven't seen Jeremy since.
Dan Le Batard
That he had a bottle broken over his head. Because. What do you mean we haven't seen him since. Is he at the hospital? Like. That's what clearly happened. We have video proof and he's rabid before he runs out of the screen. This. This is enough to convict this man.
Chris
He might have rabies.
Dan Le Batard
So we've got. Football is upon us. Mickey Arison. What do I do? Can I get some creative judgment here, please? Seriously? Because.
Mike Ryan
Gotta be five minutes.
Dan Le Batard
It's five minutes. He's got. He's got five minutes is what he's willing to give us. Should we be grateful for the five minutes?
Stugatz
Absolutely not. We have to put his feet to the fire on this. This isn't a power grill. Exactly. Right. Zaz needs to accuse him of that insider trading that he did yesterday. That. What were you accusing him of? That he. Some backdoor deals that he got.
Chris
Oh, with Anthony Carter?
Stugatz
Yeah. You got to ask about Anthony Carter.
Chris
Well, that's true.
Stugatz
You got to ask about the air and the chair. You got to ask about all kinds of stuff.
Dan Le Batard
Should we ask him about leaving the arena in a disguise after they were swept like Poppy claim.
Stugatz
Got to ask him about that. That is true, yes.
Dan Le Batard
Let's put together a list of questions. Now you're doing it. But we only have five minutes. We only have five minutes. And I'm asking you just journalistically. These are not concessions we've ever made for anybody.
Chris
Mike's got a question for sure.
Dan Le Batard
More of a statement.
Mike Ryan
Okay, but my question is Terry Rozier.
Dan Le Batard
Yeah. All right. So true or false?
Stugatz
True or false.
Dan Le Batard
Well, so you guys tell me what to do about this because I don't want to be in bed with the owners. I do not. Mark Cuban is now rabid with Pablo Torre. Rabid. Going after Pablo Torre. And we're fighting with owners. And this is a day of celebration. This is a man who does not trust the media. Does not like. Like speaking in public. Does not want the attention. Does not need the attention. Would prefer to be in the shadows. They've run this franchise really well. He deserves the honor that he's getting this week. No one would dispute it. Right?
Stugatz
He let Michael Beasley and Rio go and they won a championship more recently than the Heat. So.
Dan Le Batard
So you guys don't think. I mean, Zaslow, you're a two time champion broadcaster. Like the legacy and the legacy of Arison. In a minute.
Chris
Oh, I mean, best owner we've ever had down here. I know people get on him for the spending, but money's never been an issue. When the team is good, he doesn't want to spend it. The team is not going to be good. It's a franchise that, you know, you don't have scandal, you don't have embarrassment, and the actions speak for itself when the building is packed every single night. It's a great franchise, Mickey, true or false.
Jonathan Zaslow
You know who Jonathan Zaslow is.
Dan Le Batard
All right, if you want to do it that way, we can do it that way. But it'll require us to make it entertaining in a. In a period of time that's not. It's not reasonable. And I don't want to agree to these terms. I think, I think they're shit terms. But I'd also. I'd also like to give him his respect, right? I'd like to. I would like to celebrate someone worthy of celebration.
Chris
What if you tell him, in order for me to give you the proper respect, any more than five minutes?
Dan Le Batard
The answer is no. The answer is no. It's five minutes. It's the most he's giving anyone. Look, the corridors of power on this stuff. These people don't have to answer to anyone anymore. Anyone. Five minutes can be an eternity. Five minutes is more than anyone else is getting because there's so many layers.
Mike Ryan
Look what your wife tells you.
Dan Le Batard
Bulmer is sitting here saying, I didn't know anything. I didn't know anything.
Stugatz
Closed.
Dan Le Batard
Yeah, I didn't know anything. And. And I'm remembering a 60 Minutes piece they did on Prokorov. Oh, this owner, he's got this suspicious money, but look at him. He's on jet skis and he's so quaint. He doesn't have a computer. He doesn't even have a computer. That's right, because it ties him to nothing. You idiots. You're 60 minutes. You don't understand that there's so much space between where people get in trouble and the money. That we've seen it climb to the top of the presidency and putting in place someone who's going to make us all sick in Florida. It's going to make us all sick in Florida.
Stugatz
But that's why the Mickey thing is weird, because he's not going to give us any real answers.
Dan Le Batard
But so. So no, you say don't take him. Make a stand.
Mike Ryan
Let's take Vinnie Viola for 10 minutes.
Dan Le Batard
So reject Mickey. Reject the Mickey Harrison interview.
Stugatz
You wouldn't play hard to get.
Mike Ryan
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Dan Le Batard
Cuervo? Anytime someone says Cuervo, I show up.
Mike Ryan
Well, I do know that to be true. But even during ad reads like Cuervo, I think he could lay out especially for one of our great partners.
Dan Le Batard
Sweet, delicious Cuervo.
Mike Ryan
Since then, Cuervo has stayed true to its roots. The same family, the same land, the same passion.
Dan Le Batard
Cuervo.
Mike Ryan
So enjoy the tequila that started it all. Cuervo.
Dan Le Batard
Cuervo.
Mike Ryan
The tequila that invented tequila. Proximo. Cuervo.com, please drink responsibly.
Dan Le Batard
Cuervo.
Mike Ryan
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Date: September 4, 2025
Episode Theme:
A lively, irreverent return to football season—with the crew riffing on (and sometimes derailing from) NFL kickoff excitement, South Florida sports ownership, streaming headaches, pop culture, and the show’s colorful cast dynamics.
This “Local Hour” finds Dan, Stugotz, and their cast celebrating the return of football (complete with off-key theme song), dissecting sports content trends, and getting lost (as usual) in digressions ranging from donuts to Lady Gaga’s canceled Miami show. At its core, the episode is a celebration of football’s status as American cultural king, while also poking at the fraught relationship between fans, team owners, and the realities of modern sports media and streaming.
The episode oozes the show’s trademark mix: part sports satire, part South Florida flavor, part existential/cultural critique, and always a little self-mocking. The language is casual, irreverent, and full of in-jokes, tangents, and group dynamics that veer from wisecracking to heartfelt to meta.