Local Hour: Happy Gilmore Reviews

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Episode: Local Hour: Happy Gilmore Reviews
Release Date: July 28, 2025

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Introduction

In this episode of The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz, recorded live from the Elser Hotel in Downtown Miami, hosts Dan Le Batard and Stugotz delve into a variety of topics ranging from celebrity transformations to sports highlights. The conversation is interspersed with humorous banter and insightful commentary, making it both entertaining and informative for listeners.

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Celebrity Weight Loss: A Double-Edged Sword

Discussion Overview:
The hosts engage in a lively debate about celebrities who have lost weight, exploring whether these transformations have positively or negatively impacted their public personas and comedic value.

Key Points:

• Perception Shift: Weight loss can alter how audiences perceive a celebrity's humor and relatability. For instance, Dan and Stugotz argue that a comedian's physique contributes to their comedic persona.

• Notable Opinions:

  • Dan Le Batard expresses that humor is closely tied to a comedian's physical appearance:

    “if you're funny and you're heavy, then you get skinny. It's like you're not funny anymore.” [02:27]

  • Stugotz concurs, emphasizing that weight loss can "soften the jokes" and make comedians seem less approachable:

    “It softens the jokes. It allows the jokes to come out, and we feel all right.” [06:04]

• Specific Celebrities Discussed:

  • CC Sabathia: Transitioned into the Hall of Fame, but concerns about his weight loss potentially affecting his legacy.
  • John Goodman: Critiqued for appearing too thin, with Stugotz describing his look as "gaunt" [04:03].
  • Fat Joe: Praised for maintaining a proportionate and healthy appearance post-weight loss [04:16].

Notable Quotes:

• Billy Gil humorously notes:

  “People say that Rob Ryan looks like Rex Ryan with a wig on. So I'm saying with your beard, you look like...” [02:30]

• Stugotz adds a historical twist:

  “You look like George Washington...” [02:49]

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Cooperstown Inductions and Bob Uecker

Discussion Overview:
The conversation shifts to the recent Cooperstown Hall of Fame inductions, with a focus on baseball legends and the humorous aspects of the ceremony.

Key Points:

• CC Sabathia's Induction: Debated whether he should be considered a Yankee due to his lengthy tenure with the team despite starting elsewhere.

• Bob Uecker's Passing: The hosts briefly acknowledge the passing of the beloved broadcaster, Bob Uecker, reflecting on his impact on baseball and popular culture.

Notable Quotes:

• Dan Le Batard muses on team affiliations:

  “He played for the Yankees so much longer than every other team.” [09:27]

• Stugotz humorously notes about Ichiro Suzuki's Hall of Fame speech:

  “That's my favorite thing. Like is that, oh, his English is perfect...” [11:02]

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Happy Gilmore 2: A Cinematic Review

Discussion Overview:
The hosts review the sequel to the classic comedy Happy Gilmore, sharing their mixed feelings and humorous takes on the film's execution.

Key Points:

• Mixed Reactions: While some hosts found the sequel lacking compared to the original, others appreciated certain elements and humor.

• Nostalgia Factor: Dan emphasizes that enjoyment of the sequel is heavily tied to fondness for the original film.

• Technical Flaws: Critiques include the movie's extended runtime and the inclusion of numerous cameos, which some felt detracted from the storyline.

Notable Quotes:

• Stugotz on the movie's reception:

  “That's why it's the first one. I'm not expecting it to be nominated for best Screenplay at the Oscars.” [27:24]

• Dan Le Batard shares his enthusiasm:

  “I was laughing out loud throughout the movie, man.” [25:53]

• Chris Cote adds humor on visual gags:

  “He chugged an entire bottle of Lemon Pledge.” [35:55]

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MLS All-Star Game and Messi's Absence

Discussion Overview:
The episode delves into recent developments in Major League Soccer (MLS), focusing on Lionel Messi and Jordi Alba's decision to skip the MLS All-Star game and the implications for the league.

Key Points:

• Rule Enforcement: MLS's strict stance on player participation in All-Star events led to suspensions for Messi and Alba after they opted out of the game.

• Inter Miami's Strategy: The team, backed by high-profile signings like Messi, has pushed the boundaries of league rules, causing tension with other MLS clubs.

• Financial Implications: Despite individual achievements, MLS faces challenges with low streaming numbers, impacting overall growth and revenue.

Notable Quotes:

• Mike Ryan explains the situation:

  “Messi and Jordi Alba decided to skip the MLS All Star game. This was something that kind of came together pretty quickly.” [37:22]

• Stugotz comments on MLS's financial struggles:

  “They released the streaming numbers... it is a really, really bad number.” [40:40]

• Billy Gil poses a hypothetical scenario:

  “If MLS looked at the entire situation and decided not to suspend Messi and Alba for this one game, how would that be received?” [39:45]

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Personal Anecdotes and Light-Hearted Banter

Discussion Overview:
The hosts share personal stories and engage in light-hearted conversations, adding a relatable and humorous touch to the episode.

Key Points:

• Dan's Bachelor Date: Dan recounts taking himself out on a date, highlighting the joys and challenges of solo outings:

  “I watched it with my older son.” [28:13]

• Smoking and Vaping Humor: The conversation touches on vaping habits and their portrayal in media, infused with comedic remarks.

Notable Quotes:

• Stugotz jokes about the best activity for an open house:

  “Number one activity has to be jacking it.” [31:26]

• Mike Ryan shares observations on solo dining experiences:

  “He looked like he would, that guy.” [30:20]

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Conclusion

The episode wraps up with the hosts reflecting on the discussions, reaffirming their enjoyment of both serious topics and comedic exchanges. Their balanced approach ensures that listeners are entertained while being thoughtfully engaged with the subjects at hand.

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Notable Quotes Compilation:

• “I'm a bachelor now this week, myself.” — Dan Le Batard [28:05]
• “Any of them accidentally expose it, you could be at risk for identity theft.” — Mike Ryan [00:26] (Note: This is part of an advertisement and was skipped in the summary)

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This comprehensive summary captures the essence of the episode, highlighting key discussions, humorous exchanges, and insightful commentary, enriched with notable quotes and timestamps for reference.

Transcript

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[Billy Gil]

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[Chris Cote]

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[Dan Le Batard]

This is the Dan Levatar show with the ST Podcast.

[Stugotz]

Oh, it's a whole week with old Daniel Levitard. Not in the office.

[Billy Gil]

Just one, huh?

[Stugotz]

What do we do, guys? We gotta light some fires here. I. Whenever he's gone, I want him to be tuning in and freaking out about what he's seeing. I want him to be feverishly on the phone with somebody, anybody. What's happening? Tell them to get a grip. What are they doing? What are they doing to my precious child that I created and crafted over 20 years.

[Billy Gil]

Zaszlo forgot to wear his hairpiece today.

[Dan Le Batard]

Nah, I'm looking confident today. I mean, come on. I'm feeling good. Got the beard flowing and everything.

[Stugotz]

This is a good look for you.

[Mike Ryan]

You look like a. You look like an adult with that beard.

[Dan Le Batard]

Thank you. That's what I've been saying.

[Billy Gil]

It's filling in just like Rex Ryan's.

[Dan Le Batard]

I'm looking good, right?

[Mike Ryan]

Or Rob Ryan, but.

[Dan Le Batard]

Well, you know, people said we look a little bit alike. I kind of see it.

[Billy Gil]

People say that Rob Ryan looks like Rex Ryan with a wig on. So I'm saying with your beard, you look like.

[Dan Le Batard]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Mike Ryan]

Kris Kristofferson for me.

[Stugotz]

Ooh, Whistler Yeah.

[Mike Ryan]

Whistler from Blade.

[Stugotz]

Yeah.

[Dan Le Batard]

I got a little bit of Dee Snider as well.

[Billy Gil]

Okay.

[Dan Le Batard]

Yeah.

[Stugotz]

Like current D. Snider, right?

[Dan Le Batard]

Yeah.

[Stugotz]

Like he's finally accepted and aged into it. Actually, you know what? You look like? You look like what I think George Washington actually. Actually look like. Like all the paintings when he got out of bed, all the dollar bills. That's like. You know how the paintings used to be, like, the nicest version of someone. Yeah. Yeah. And that's what he actually looked like.

[Billy Gil]

Before he got his hair did.

[Stugotz]

Before he got his hair did. So they had the hall of Fame enshrinement up in Cooperstown this weekend.

[Billy Gil]

What's that?

[Stugotz]

Baseball? Yeah, baseball. Yeah. You guys catch that?

[Billy Gil]

No.

[Dan Le Batard]

I saw some clips.

[Stugotz]

Yeah, man. My guy, CC Sabathia, he's so thin. Lost a lot of weight.

[Dan Le Batard]

Maybe too thin.

[Stugotz]

Is it too thin?

[Mike Ryan]

I like this take. I like it.

[Frank Caliendo]

Star Jones or somebody.

[Dan Le Batard]

Right? Right.

[Stugotz]

Here's a look. There's a.

[Gina]

People should be fat.

[Dan Le Batard]

Like, 100% true.

[Gina]

Like, you know, some people, they look better fat.

[Chris Cote]

Let's play this game. Celebrities who've Lost Weight and Look Worse.

[Stugotz]

Big Boy Radio. Dj.

[Mike Ryan]

Radio. Dj. Not from outkast.

[Billy Gil]

Yeah.

[Stugotz]

Not from Outcast. Big Boy out in la. Ever since he lost the weight, I'm like, I don't like it.

[Dan Le Batard]

I'll tell you who's another one. I thought Anthony Anderson looked better when he was heavy.

[Stugotz]

I'll give you that one as well.

[Dan Le Batard]

Yeah. Too thin.

[Stugotz]

Too thin.

[Mike Ryan]

What do you think of John Goodman now?

[Stugotz]

Worrisome.

[Dan Le Batard]

Too thin.

[Stugotz]

Yeah.

[Billy Gil]

When you're used to a face looking a certain way, just leave it looking that way. Don't get all skinny and sad looking.

[Dan Le Batard]

Go back. Smell bees.

[Stugotz]

Gaunt. He looks gaunt.

[Dan Le Batard]

Yup. Wonder. I don't like it.

[Chris Cote]

Fat Joe.

[Dan Le Batard]

Not so Fat Joe.

[Stugotz]

Nope. Fat Joe, he's just. Joe has done it well.

[Dan Le Batard]

He. He does look well, actually.

[Stugotz]

He looks. He looks proportionate.

[Dan Le Batard]

Yeah, he looks good.

[Stugotz]

Lose the weight. Be proportionate. Don't. It can't be, like, sunken cheeks and.

[Billy Gil]

And you got to put little cotton balls in your cheeks so you look the same.

[Stugotz]

Yeah.

[Billy Gil]

Still healthier.

[Stugotz]

Yeah.

[Dan Le Batard]

Yeah, he looks good. But I see CC Zabathia on that stage. Like, I wouldn't be afraid of that guy on the mound.

[Stugotz]

Well, he's not on the mount anymore.

[Dan Le Batard]

I know, but if that's what he looked like when he was on the mountain, I'm not afraid. You look like everybody else. Too thin.

[Stugotz]

Mike Golick Sr. No. Yeah. Just Saturday.

[Dan Le Batard]

No. Saturday looks good, too. Not too Thin. He looks good.

[Mike Ryan]

His face maintained its shape.

[Stugotz]

This feels like a two America's thing right now. Oh. Other than John Goodman, I feel like we're hitting.

[Billy Gil]

Look at Joe.

[Stugotz]

We're batting through Americas.

[Mike Ryan]

I mean, he started with Star Jones. Well, yeah, that's true.

[Dan Le Batard]

That's leader in the clubhouse. Star Jones.

[Mike Ryan]

Yeah.

[Stugotz]

I'll give you Al Sharpton, I think. Al Sharpton, Yeah.

[Mike Ryan]

Yes. That's a good one.

[Stugotz]

Definitely a trend. Now. Hold on, let me write this down.

[Dan Le Batard]

Yep.

[Stugotz]

All the fat people should be black. Apparently.

[Dan Le Batard]

At first. At first.

[Billy Gil]

In 2003, when I first saw you, Don is Haslam. After he lost all the weight, I said, too thin. But then I got used to it. Now he looks great.

[Dan Le Batard]

Yeah, well, he's been thin for so much more of his life now.

[Billy Gil]

Yeah, he looked unhappy. I don't know. Something about when you go from. From a little big and jolly to super thin, you just get an unhappy face about you.

[Stugotz]

Well, you're. You're a prime example, right? You were. You were jolly at one point in your life.

[Billy Gil]

Was I jolly? I was a jolly MF and eight, eighth grader. And, you know, probably around sophomore year, college, started losing the weight. My mom didn't like it. My mom hated it. She's like, oh, you're too skinny. So I think she would have vibed with you then. But I think you do it young enough. You're fine. I think when you do it older in life, when people are just used to this certain look, that's when it's like, ah, you went too far.

[Stugotz]

Particularly, like, being like. For all these people we're talking about, they're on camera, so we got to know them. We fell in love with them looking a certain way. And then, you know, they lost the weight. And now it's like, well, you're messing up with my concept of who you are. As opposed to Izzy did it behind the scenes in the shadows. Because came out like a butterfly.

[Dan Le Batard]

Well, and the hard part is when you're heavy. If you're funny and you're heavy, then you get skinny. It's like you're not funny anymore. That's ain't funny anymore.

[Mike Ryan]

We mentioned it last week. Shane Gillis, don't lose weight.

[Stugotz]

Yeah.

[Mike Ryan]

It's part of your.

[Billy Gil]

Would not be funny.

[Stugotz]

No, absolutely. It softens the jokes. It allows the jokes to come out, and we feel all right. Because, yeah, he's just some fat dude.

[Mike Ryan]

It would change his posture, too. He'd all of a sudden hold the mic differently.

[Dan Le Batard]

We can't have that Like Tom Segura's one now. Tom Segura. I don't know if I would say he was fat, but he was definitely heavy. And now he's in. He's in, like, really shape.

[Chris Cote]

That's a good example, too much, like.

[Billy Gil]

Because he was more of an everyman, right?

[Dan Le Batard]

Yeah.

[Chris Cote]

Now it's like. Now he's talking all the time about Super Fit. I fasted for four. It's like, dude, this is not coming.

[Dan Le Batard]

You're not funny.

[Billy Gil]

Oh, he's doing a lot of lifting with that podcast.

[Chris Cote]

Fasting's not funny.

[Stugotz]

Tom Seor. The one that toys. Still playing basketball.

[Dan Le Batard]

Yes. Yes.

[Frank Caliendo]

Well, Frank Calenda lost weight.

[Mike Ryan]

Still funny, but his face was still round.

[Stugotz]

Yeah, I can't tell because I never see him, like, below his.

[Mike Ryan]

And he did that before Ozempic was a thing.

[Stugotz]

He did it the right way. Yeah.

[Mike Ryan]

Frank Caliendo lost a lot of. A shocking amount of weight well, before.

[Stugotz]

Frank Caliendo gets into Cooperstown.

[Mike Ryan]

Yes.

[Dan Le Batard]

Yeah.

[Stugotz]

All right.

[Mike Ryan]

And he's also, like, UD class, where now he's been skinny longer than he was fat.

[Gina]

If Santa wasn't fat, would you let him into your house?

[Stugotz]

Absolutely not.

[Gina]

I mean, I guess you let him in, he just breaks it anyway. But, like, would you be cool if just some jacked guy was going down your chin?

[Billy Gil]

Well, it depends. Does he wear fitted clothing now or is it still the.

[Gina]

I feel like it's just suspenders. No shirt.

[Stugotz]

Okay. So I gotta ask you, Billy, because this is right up your alley. Did you see red one?

[Gina]

Yes.

[Stugotz]

Okay. In that one, Jake J.K. simmons plays Santa, and he's jacked. Like, he's in great shape.

[Dan Le Batard]

Oh, he isn't rock in that movie, too. I mean, Rock. Not. Not Charles S. Dutton.

[Stugotz]

Yeah.

[Frank Caliendo]

That's no K in that.

[Stugotz]

That's not Michael Beasley's grandfather, by the way.

[Dan Le Batard]

That was a crazy mistake last week.

[Stugotz]

That's a callback. Folks.

[Gina]

So would you like Al Roker being skinny? I mean, he is skinny, but, like.

[Stugotz]

Old Al, I feel like I. I.

[Dan Le Batard]

Liked him better heavy.

[Stugotz]

I liked him better heavy. I don't like where this game is going, but I did like him better heavy. But I think he's. After he lost the weight now, he started to gain back, and now he's kind of like he found the equilibrium point. So, Al, you good now, but we talk about CC Sabathia, not about his weight, but being in the hall of Fame. Do you guys think of him as a Yankee? I think of him as a Yankee, Right? Yes. Brewer.

[Dan Le Batard]

Brewer. For Real Cleveland. Unreal.

[Mike Ryan]

Run as a Brewer, that was like one of the great deadline acquisitions ever. He was just on fire.

[Billy Gil]

When you make your name somewhere else and then end up with the Yankees, I always think of you as the former place. The Yankees is sort of like the finishing school, but like, really where you went to school.

[Dan Le Batard]

He played for the Yankees so much longer than every other team.

[Billy Gil]

That's his bet.

[Stugotz]

Paul o'.

[Mike Ryan]

Neill.

[Billy Gil]

Well, he's a Reds, all right. To me, he's a Yankee.

[Stugotz]

Chuck Knobloch.

[Frank Caliendo]

Twins.

[Mike Ryan]

Twin.

[Billy Gil]

Twin.

[Chris Cote]

Those are all Yankees.

[Stugotz]

These all Yankees.

[Chris Cote]

See, those are all Yankees except for cc.

[Mike Ryan]

Roshius is absolutely a Yankee.

[Stugotz]

A Yankee. These guys are all Yankees, man.

[Billy Gil]

Okay.

[Stugotz]

Pinstripes. Wade Boggs.

[Dan Le Batard]

Yankee, Red Sox, Yankees. He rode the horse.

[Stugotz]

He didn't ride the horse in Dave Boston. He rode a horse.

[Mike Ryan]

Isn't his jersey honored by the Tampa team?

[Billy Gil]

Is that a Brad Marchon situation?

[Dan Le Batard]

H. I remember Wade Boggs. When he was inducted into the hall of Fame, he wanted to go in as a Ray, which obviously is insane, except it's not really a thing. You don't go in as a member of a certain team.

[Gina]

Baseball.

[Billy Gil]

You do.

[Dan Le Batard]

Yeah. They have a baseball cap. They do have the logo of the team on the cap.

[Stugotz]

Yeah, buddy. You go in as a xyz. Yeah, you gotta. You gotta call what you want.

[Chris Cote]

What does a Rod say?

[Billy Gil]

He is.

[Chris Cote]

What do we think of a Rod?

[Mike Ryan]

A Ranger. He says.

[Stugotz]

Oz.

[Billy Gil]

Epic. He says, no need to ask.

[Frank Caliendo]

I'd go Mariner, Temple, Timberwolf.

[Mike Ryan]

I know what we. We would go with, but honestly, his best seasons were probably as a Texas Ranger. But he. He. He identifies as a Yankee.

[Stugotz]

A Rod is an Ozempic.

[Mike Ryan]

Really?

[Stugotz]

I mean, for Cooper's talent sake.

[Mike Ryan]

Yes, yes, I get it.

[Gina]

Yeah, I got it.

[Mike Ryan]

Yeah.

[Stugotz]

Winfield. Dave Winfield, to me, is a Yankee.

[Mike Ryan]

That one's a tough one.

[Stugotz]

Yeah, he went in, I think, as a Padre, but I'm like you. A Yankee, bro. I don't care what you want. Weight, boxer. Yankee, too. They're all Yankees. Someone else went into the hall of Fame. One Ichiro Suzuki. He had a pretty interesting shout out during his speech.

[Dan Le Batard]

What a bar.

[Chris Cote]

This is the Marlins encapsulated in one sentence.

[Stugotz]

And to the Miami Marlins.

[Mike Ryan]

I appreciate David Sampson and Mike Hill for coming today. Honestly, when you guys called to offer me a contract for 2015, I have never heard of your team.

[Dan Le Batard]

There's no way that's true.

[Chris Cote]

He probably played again.

[Stugotz]

Let's look this up.

[Chris Cote]

Interleague. They never played. They never played.

[Dan Le Batard]

Marlins.

[Billy Gil]

I hadn't heard that sound. When you guys told me it was going to be funny and listen to it during the show, I swore he was going to stop at thanks for coming. And that's it for the Marlins. They get no further reference. But that part, I mean, I would believe him.

[Dan Le Batard]

He's clearly joking.

[Chris Cote]

But it's a great joke.

[Stugotz]

It's a great bar and it's. And it's like that's how David Sampson should ever be shouted out in a Hall of Fame speech.

[Dan Le Batard]

How do they not. How did the camera not find like David Sampson at that point?

[Stugotz]

He's this.

[Dan Le Batard]

He's probably sitting next to Mike Hill.

[Stugotz]

They couldn't find him either.

[Chris Cote]

There was such an opportunity for like a panning and then you pan down.

[Stugotz]

That's only. The camera guy was in there. He got the show. Yes.

[Billy Gil]

Did you have Ichiro that gray at this point in his life? I did not see him going gray.

[Gina]

Like he was playing at like 90 for the Marlins.

[Dan Le Batard]

He was.

[Gina]

He batted.195 against the Marlins. Suck it, idiot.

[Chris Cote]

He never spoke to the media while being able to speak English.

[Stugotz]

That's. That's my favorite thing. Like is that, oh, his English is perfect. He didn't just learn this in the last couple of years. His English is perfect the whole time. It's the same thing. By the way. That's the same hustle that Shohei's running on all you people with the interpreter.

[Mike Ryan]

I'm interested in Billy's reaction to it because Billy's passionate about the Marlins and he didn't appreciate the joke.

[Stugotz]

You didn't like the swipe?

[Gina]

Not necessarily.

[Billy Gil]

It was also weird that he was looking me dead in the eye when he said suck it. And I was like, oh, that was weird. I don't want to look at you.

[Chris Cote]

Why did so like that really got you. You don't take that as just.

[Gina]

I thought it was unnecessary, man. Funny guy over there. Please out of here. Should be grateful to the Marlins. If not, you would never would have gotten 3,000 hits.

[Billy Gil]

You don't like the fact no one wanted them in a Hall of Fame speech. I think that's.

[Gina]

I mean they're on his. His hall of Fame like plaque. Yeah, sure, but. But unnecessary swipe by Ichiro Counterpoint baseball historian doesn't know who to Funny guy over here. Big stand up comedian. Go on.

[Stugotz]

Counterpoint. He puts us on the. On the right side of history with David Sampson. Right.

[Gina]

He likes Sampson, clearly.

[Billy Gil]

Billy, how funny was that joke really? Like, it really wasn't that funny. Right? Like if. Who's the last Marlin to get inducted if he makes that joke, Is it be as funny?

[Chris Cote]

It's funny because of how out of left field it is. There's like, you're not expecting a shot at the Marlins there. It's just. You think he's just doing the David Sampson, thank you for being here. But it's just he decides to, like, go for comedy. And because it was so I. You genuinely laughed out loud at it. I like you were cackling over there.

[Billy Gil]

It's because of Samson.

[Gina]

It's funny. It's not something that, you know, you would expect in a hall of fame speech.

[Chris Cote]

And because it's going after Samson, that's why. Just for us. I think nobody laughs harder at that than this room.

[Stugotz]

Of course.

[Mike Ryan]

Howdy, folks. It's Mike Ryan. If you were listening to the show just a couple days ago, you know that Jeremy came up with the top five breath of fresh air type of list. A really refreshing feeling. And on that list, Jeremy, help me out.

[Chris Cote]

I mean, that first sip of a.

[Dan Le Batard]

Miller light at the barbecue on a.

[Stugotz]

Hot day, crack it open.

[Dan Le Batard]

That sound feelings better.

[Mike Ryan]

That sound ultra satisfying. And then that first sip, it hits. And yes, while it's hot outside as it is presently, cools your body down, it hits a little different down here in South Florida. But as someone that had Miller Light north of the border and basically football tailgates as the leaves turn, there really isn't a bad time to turn into Miller time.

[Chris Cote]

Next time, we should do a top five times to have Miller time.

[Mike Ryan]

I like where your head's at because it's every time. That's right, Every time. Morning time.

[Dan Le Batard]

Problem.

[Mike Ryan]

Well, scratch that. Nah. Morning time.

[Dan Le Batard]

Morning.

[Mike Ryan]

Morning.

[Dan Le Batard]

Morning time.

[Mike Ryan]

If you're on vacation, if you're on vacation, if you're on vacation, if you're.

[Chris Cote]

At a morning tailgate, there's a noon game.

[Mike Ryan]

It's Miller time somewhere. Miller Light. Great taste. 96 calories. Go to millerlight.com dan to find delivery options near you. Or you can pick up some Miller Lite pretty much anywhere they sell beer. Cheers to 50 years of Mil. Celebrate responsibly. Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin. 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces.

[Frank Caliendo]

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[Chris Cote]

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[Dan Le Batard]

Don Levator Tae Tas Stugats Tae Tas this is the Don Levatar show with the Stugats.

[Gina]

Let's just get dunked on so often it's just like, can we not for a day. Let's celebrate today. Yeah. Series win against the Brew Crew. Best team in baseball. Almost a sweep. I mean, don't look now.

[Chris Cote]

People were saying at the start of two series ago that this stretch, the Marlins have, they've been on, they've been hot, but they have like five hard series in a row.

[Stugotz]

Yeah, one.

[Chris Cote]

First two.

[Dan Le Batard]

I was, I was watching, I was watching yesterday. They were four outs away from sweeping the Milwaukee brewers in. The brewers hadn't lost a home game in like, for like all month, I think until the Marlins got there, won the first two games. Marlins were four outs Away from sweeping that ass. And then the brewers tied in the eighth. They walked off in the night from.

[Stugotz]

The makers have took that ass.

[Billy Gil]

Is that the same sweeping that ass?

[Dan Le Batard]

Yeah, of course.

[Billy Gil]

That like cleaning that ass for sweeping that ass.

[Stugotz]

The ass is there and then a.

[Billy Gil]

Broom comes in and then they have no ass.

[Dan Le Batard]

Yeah, I gotta sweep that ass.

[Gina]

How do we feel about.

[Billy Gil]

Like, do you take it after you sweep it?

[Dan Le Batard]

Well, no, because you already swept that ass. You don't have to.

[Billy Gil]

Where does it go?

[Dan Le Batard]

Away.

[Frank Caliendo]

Okay, a dustpan.

[Gina]

How do you feel about Craig Counsel?

[Dan Le Batard]

Well bound.

[Gina]

Just, you know, he did the thing.

[Dan Le Batard]

Winning Run 97 World Series.

[Gina]

Yeah, but I'm saying, like, do we. Do we like Craig Counsel? Do we not like Craig?

[Dan Le Batard]

Great mid season acquisition. 97.

[Gina]

Yeah, but then he kind of did the brew crew dirty right where he left to go to the Cubs. I guess.

[Dan Le Batard]

What does that matter to me here?

[Mike Ryan]

I don't know.

[Gina]

I'm just. I'm just asking a question.

[Dan Le Batard]

All right, well, why don't you ask better questions? Why do I care about the Brewers? Hey, remember when the brewers got done? Why don't you ask me next if I'm upset when the Knicks got done dirty? Who cares?

[Gina]

Are you?

[Dan Le Batard]

No. Oh, remember that time, though?

[Stugotz]

The.

[Dan Le Batard]

The Maple Leafs were done dirty.

[Stugotz]

So it is a weird.

[Dan Le Batard]

Mitch Marner did them so dirty. What do I care?

[Stugotz]

Billy, why did you care about Crick Council?

[Gina]

I was just looking at the standings. I see now the Cubs are tied with the Brewers. The brewers are the best team in baseball. And here comes Craig Counsel with another team that he betrayed his team for. I was just wondering. We were talking about the Brewers.

[Dan Le Batard]

Yeah.

[Gina]

What else you want to talk about? Bob Eucre is dead.

[Frank Caliendo]

Rest in power.

[Dan Le Batard]

I mean, I don't know why Bob Euchre. I don't know why. It's the. The only thing Brewer.

[Gina]

What do you want to talk about?

[Dan Le Batard]

The Brewers. We already.

[Gina]

Sabathia. We checked that off the list. Bob Uecker. What are we going to say? We've talked about Bob Ucher before.

[Dan Le Batard]

I don't want to talk.

[Gina]

Council comes up. It's a shared thing. The Marlins, Brewers, Craig Counsel Stanis.

[Stugotz]

Bob Euchre is a good transition point to Happy Gilmore 2 came out on Netflix and shock of everyone's life. It sucked.

[Billy Gil]

Wow.

[Dan Le Batard]

Okay.

[Billy Gil]

I don't think that is a consensus in the room.

[Dan Le Batard]

Really.

[Billy Gil]

I mean, I'm with you.

[Stugotz]

You like Happy Gilmore too.

[Chris Cote]

I have some complaints, but overall, I left the movie at the end saying this was good.

[Billy Gil]

Can we start with spoiler alert. Just in case.

[Chris Cote]

This could have been way worse.

[Stugotz]

That's what I left the movie. Meaning you turn the TV off?

[Chris Cote]

Yeah, like, just like I remember.

[Dan Le Batard]

Like, we were like, you have a hard time getting out of the theater.

[Chris Cote]

We were midway through the final scene and it hadn't even ended yet. I kind of knew where it was going. And I'm just like, this wasn't terrible.

[Dan Le Batard]

You found Happy Gil more predictable is what you're saying, right?

[Chris Cote]

I was able to figure out what was going to happen, but I just.

[Billy Gil]

I'm.

[Chris Cote]

I do have major issues with a big plot twist at the beginning. Hated that. But I got past that and I thought it was a fine movie there.

[Billy Gil]

I had my issues with it initially when I turned it on. Then I saw the runtime. An hour and 57 minutes immediately. At the very least, 17 minutes too long. And that's a long time. 17 minutes is a long time. And when you include a lot of the family, lovey dovey stuff in the movie, I kind of fell asleep.

[Stugotz]

Well, Izzy, if they don't have that extra 17 minutes, how will they get 7 billion cameos?

[Billy Gil]

That's a great question.

[Stugotz]

Especially when professional golfers, who are, as everyone knows, the best actors, shot.

[Chris Cote]

Scottie Scheffler was good. Bad Bunny was good.

[Mike Ryan]

I don't understand.

[Billy Gil]

Scheffler was not good. He was good. For an athlete. He was not good.

[Dan Le Batard]

I don't understand the complaints. It's Happy Gilmore. Did you think it was going to be up for an Oscar? Like, did you think that Becky lynch was going to be up for supporting actress? What are you expecting out of Happy Gilmore?

[Stugotz]

I'll tell you what I expect out of every Adam Sandler thing that comes out now.

[Frank Caliendo]

Rob Schneider.

[Billy Gil]

Yes.

[Stugotz]

Number one. Well, it's part of that number one.

[Dan Le Batard]

I thought they weren't boys anymore and he was in the movie.

[Stugotz]

Yes.

[Frank Caliendo]

All of.

[Stugotz]

All of the Sandler flunkies are always gonna be in every movie, number one. Number two, we're gonna do it in kind. I won't call them destinations, but places where people wanna hang out. Number three, we're gonna give a bare minimum thought to plot, dialogue, or any other sort of kind of work on this thing. I'm just gonna collect money, pay my friends, hang out for a couple of weeks, and boom. And then have cameos from famous people that I would love to have in my thing.

[Dan Le Batard]

I loved it.

[Stugotz]

I'm not. You loved it.

[Dan Le Batard]

I loved it. I'm not afraid to admit that I loved it. I'm hearing what you guys are saying. And I'm seeing it all over social media. The movie, like, people hate it, whatever. On Rotten Tomatoes. It's got very high scores from media and from audience. Who are all these people that hated the movie?

[Billy Gil]

I think it's just a matter of you have the proper expectations for the movie versus other people who know 1996 is a long time ago. So you're probably reading a bunch of reviews from people who didn't see it back then, didn't fall in love with it back then, kind of knew it, and then saw this movie. And it's like, that premise is crazy. I don't like the jokes.

[Dan Le Batard]

If I can tell you the first 30 minutes of the movie in particular, I was laughing at every line in the movie.

[Stugotz]

Really?

[Dan Le Batard]

Out loud? Out loud.

[Chris Cote]

How many things can he drink out of?

[Mike Ryan]

It was funny.

[Billy Gil]

The golf ball was a surprise.

[Chris Cote]

I got an Instagram ad for that exact golf ball after watching the movie.

[Stugotz]

Of course you did.

[Dan Le Batard]

I loved it. The movie was so funny. It was exactly what I wanted.

[Billy Gil]

What was your favorite line?

[Dan Le Batard]

I. I don't. I don't have a favorite line in Happy Gilmore too, but I loved Margaret Qualley. She made me laugh the whole time that she was in it.

[Stugotz]

She made you laugh the whole time?

[Dan Le Batard]

Yeah. Everything she did I was laughing at. She was funny.

[Stugotz]

I just. Well, give me some other comedies you enjoy maybe.

[Dan Le Batard]

I have no problem giving you the comedies I enjoy.

[Stugotz]

Yeah.

[Dan Le Batard]

Best comedies. Forgetting Sarah Marshall. That's my favorite comedy. 40 Year Old Virgin.

[Stugotz]

Okay.

[Dan Le Batard]

All right. Love 40 Year Old Virgin.

[Stugotz]

Okay.

[Dan Le Batard]

You know, if you want to go old school, obviously I've come into America.

[Stugotz]

Oh, I thought you could say old school.

[Dan Le Batard]

No, old school is good, but also a little overrated. A little overrated?

[Stugotz]

Old school's overrated.

[Dan Le Batard]

So it is a little overrated.

[Stugotz]

Gilmore, too, had you laughing continuously for. No.

[Dan Le Batard]

Hold on a second. Overrated doesn't mean that it's not good. Overrated. Like, I think, okay, the Hangover, over. I think it's most overrated movie of all time.

[Mike Ryan]

You know, there's a theme here.

[Dan Le Batard]

Todd Phillips of all time.

[Mike Ryan]

The Todd Phillips comedies, I always found overrated.

[Dan Le Batard]

Really?

[Chris Cote]

I didn't find them like old school slaps. I'm with you on the Hangover.

[Dan Le Batard]

Yes, old school is good. And the Hangover is also really good. But people talk about the Hangover like it's the greatest comedy. It's not. And hence it's over.

[Mike Ryan]

It's funny. It's a solid flick.

[Stugotz]

All right, all right, I'll give if you're saying it's funny, it's just not the greatest. I don't think it's the greatest comedy either. I think it's a very funny movie. All right, so what? So forgetting Sarah Marshall is my take, but you're giving me, like. All right, so Todd Phillips, funny movies. He makes funny movies.

[Dan Le Batard]

Didn't he also do Joker?

[Mike Ryan]

Yeah, he won a Golden Globe, I think, for Joker.

[Stugotz]

Yeah, and then he also did Joker, the other one.

[Mike Ryan]

Yeah, full hood. You know, I sent him back. I'm like, that's Todd Phillips for you. Phillips experience.

[Stugotz]

And. And then you got Judd Apatow movies.

[Dan Le Batard]

You're naming love Judah.

[Stugotz]

That was funny for the most part. So how are you saying, like, sitting here and say Happy Gilmore 2 was funny? Because it was.

[Chris Cote]

You're basing it off of what the first one was. Ridiculous comedy. That's just, like, absurd.

[Stugotz]

Okay.

[Chris Cote]

Because, like, if you really. I re watched the first one, there are some. There's a lot of ridiculous stuff that happens that you're like it. And I'm with Zaz on this. Like, you have to know what movie you're watching.

[Stugotz]

Yeah, what am I. I know what movie I'm watching.

[Chris Cote]

This is not a rated R, like, really smart comedy. This is Happy Gilmore, too.

[Billy Gil]

They had a golf green that was rotating as you moved on it. And. And maxi golf. Whenever. Whenever the thing, the ball stops moving, if you move, the green still counts, can still go in the hole.

[Dan Le Batard]

That's maxi golf.

[Billy Gil]

Well, I get it.

[Mike Ryan]

Cravel lies, man.

[Stugotz]

But it's just funny. Yeah.

[Dan Le Batard]

Like, I was laughing out loud throughout the movie, man.

[Stugotz]

I'm like. I'm not a highbrow comedy person. Like, I like.

[Gina]

You sound like a snob.

[Stugotz]

I like Fairly Brothers movies. I think those are funny. I don't think that's another one.

[Dan Le Batard]

Something about Mary. That's. That's one of the top funny movies.

[Stugotz]

Yeah. Dumb and Dumber.

[Dan Le Batard]

Yeah, of course.

[Stugotz]

Right? But this, guys. Oh, man. Come on. You. You know what it is?

[Dan Le Batard]

We're also partial to Adam Sandler movies in my house. My wife. He is her favorite. We see all the Adam Sandler movies. We love Adam.

[Billy Gil]

That's why I never come over.

[Dan Le Batard]

We love Adam Sandler.

[Stugotz]

I tell you what.

[Dan Le Batard]

I just don't know what you're expecting when it's like, oh, man, those could be really. You know, I'm expecting. I'm expecting to make me think the movie.

[Stugotz]

No. Dumb and Dumber made you think.

[Dan Le Batard]

No, that's my point.

[Stugotz]

Dumb and Dumber is funny.

[Dan Le Batard]

This isn't it's like I don't understand the people. Like, take for instance, the Fast and the Furious movies. Like, oh man, you know, the new ones or whatever. And you leave like all the movies suck. What are you expecting?

[Billy Gil]

If you had no attachment to the original Happy Gilmore, would you somebody else, not you.

[Dan Le Batard]

Like, if I tell you, if somebody.

[Billy Gil]

Else had no attachment to the Happy Gilmore movie, every original, would you tell them, hey, go watch Happy Gilmore 2? It's gonna be great.

[Dan Le Batard]

If I didn't know anything about the first movie. If you didn't know anything.

[Stugotz]

If you're referring to.

[Dan Le Batard]

I could totally understand someone who knows nothing about the original Happy Gilmore if they see this movie. Like, this is some stupid shit. Totally.

[Stugotz]

Yeah.

[Dan Le Batard]

You're not going to watch that then if you don't love the original.

[Billy Gil]

So doesn't you're liking it have everything to do with the original and it's just back nostalgia. So it's not actually a good movie. It's just bringing back feeling.

[Dan Le Batard]

That's why it's the first one. I'm not expecting it to be nominated for best Screenplay at the Oscars.

[Stugotz]

Yes, there's an in between here that you keep skipping over that it can be not nominated for an Oscar and.

[Dan Le Batard]

Still, you know, this really is so good to me. I don't understand anyone. And I don't need to sit here and be like some Happy Gilmore Stan. Who gives a shit? All right.

[Stugotz]

But you kind of, kind of come.

[Billy Gil]

On like the most Happy Gilmore Stan ever.

[Stugotz]

A lot of us.

[Dan Le Batard]

If you loved Happy Gilmore, how did you not enjoy this movie? I don't get it.

[Billy Gil]

I think those are the people who did enjoy it. Your yourself and those who loved Happy Gilmore so much and, you know, watched it. Are you home alone when you watch this? Or did you. Is your.

[Dan Le Batard]

I'm a bachelor now this week, by the way, myself.

[Billy Gil]

As if it couldn't tell by the beard.

[Dan Le Batard]

Yeah, yeah. No, it was before my family left, so I watched it with my older son.

[Mike Ryan]

Okay, Don LeBatard, you're getting started on the breakfast flan.

[Stugotz]

Oh, man. I've been singing a song to myself all morning long. Breakfast Fl.

[Mike Ryan]

Stets.

[Stugotz]

Have you never heard the Breakfast Fl song?

[Mike Ryan]

Hit me with it, okay?

[Stugotz]

I wish I had some breakfast fl. Where can I find a breakfast like that?

[Dan Le Batard]

This is the D. Levatar show with the st.

[Stugotz]

The whole family's out.

[Dan Le Batard]

Yeah, I got this look like. Yeah, bachelor pad, big dog. Oh, yeah, baby. Took myself out on a date last night.

[Stugotz]

Where'd you go?

[Dan Le Batard]

That's right. My Pal. DAVID DENNIS jr. Did you put out great tip yesterday? I got lucky the other night. Wow. My pal David Dennis Jr gave me a good tip yesterday. Okay. Where I was telling him how. Because we were on ESPN radio.

[Mike Ryan]

Thanks for clarifying the Junior part. I didn't want to confuse him with David.

[Stugotz]

Oh, well, David Dennis. David Dennis Sr. Is a civil rights activist. Right. David Des Jr.

[Dan Le Batard]

I think he's got that in his family. Yeah. And, and he told, I told him, I was like, hey, I'm a bachelor this week. It's great. And, you know, one of the best parts about being a bachelor is, so for dinner tonight, your boy's gonna order whatever he wants. I don't have to worry about what the boys want, what my wife wants. I'm gonna get what I want. All right? I'm gonna do whatever I want. And he told me, you know what you do? You take yourself out to a nice restaurant, to a nice steakhouse. You go dress up a little bit.

[Billy Gil]

You go to the same side of the booth.

[Dan Le Batard]

No, come by myself. You go to the bar. Okay. You get yourself an old Fashioned, you get yourself a nice steak. So guess what I did. I got dressed up. I went to the steakhouse by my house. Mr. Steal Yo Girl arrived at the bar. I watched the Marlins, the Marlins game there. I had a nice little date with myself last night.

[Stugotz]

Jacket or no jacket?

[Dan Le Batard]

No jacket. No jacket.

[Stugotz]

Collared shirt?

[Dan Le Batard]

Yeah.

[Stugotz]

Okay.

[Mike Ryan]

Yeah.

[Dan Le Batard]

Pants. Yup. I wore slacks.

[Mike Ryan]

I went to dinner in Chicago a couple weeks ago, and I saw a dude take himself out on a date. He was dressed really nicely.

[Dan Le Batard]

I enjoyed myself.

[Mike Ryan]

He was eating a chicken parm. He had a glass of wine. He was totally by himself. I'm like, look at this king.

[Stugotz]

Yeah. Did he get lucky at the end of the night?

[Mike Ryan]

I'm sure he did.

[Billy Gil]

Did you pull your own chair out?

[Mike Ryan]

He looked like he would, that guy. No. Like, there are certain people that you can look at and, like, that guy's jerking it, like, currently, or like, he's going to jerk it. Like, it's like, his option.

[Billy Gil]

Why is Chris waving?

[Stugotz]

You look forward to that.

[Dan Le Batard]

Like, I've never done that before.

[Stugotz]

The hat. What?

[Dan Le Batard]

Jacked it, like.

[Mike Ryan]

You should try it. It's pretty awesome.

[Stugotz]

Empty house.

[Billy Gil]

Most people figure that out around, you know, eight or nine.

[Mike Ryan]

I, I. It's probably a big weekend for that at the manor.

[Frank Caliendo]

Oh, mansion.

[Billy Gil]

You do with the door open?

[Dan Le Batard]

Better believe it.

[Stugotz]

There's, there's no, there's no expectation of privacy.

[Billy Gil]

Like, the front door.

[Mike Ryan]

Chris, Door is open.

[Stugotz]

Come on. In I come through like Tom Cruise in Risky Business. Dun dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun.

[Frank Caliendo]

In your underwear.

[Billy Gil]

I set up a night for myself.

[Stugotz]

Saves me a whole step, like 40.

[Dan Le Batard]

Year old virgin where he's got the candles, you know, around his bed. No. I've had the house myself many a time. Okay. So, yeah, I'm looking forward to this week. It's been a great week.

[Stugotz]

But I feel like, what's the number one activity for Open House? Number one activity has to be jacking it. But number two has to be, I watch whatever I want to watch more than I eat whatever I want to eat. I watch whatever I want to watch.

[Mike Ryan]

That's pretty clutch, right? Yeah. I had basically a weekend to myself here, and I enjoyed my evening last night of just. You know what? I'm going to watch this Billy Joel documentary. I don't have anybody to tell me that they don't want to watch Billy Joel.

[Billy Gil]

That's against the rules. You can't watch something that. Okay, so she doesn't want to watch the Billy Joel.

[Mike Ryan]

She's not the Billy Joel guy. I'm the Billy Joel guy.

[Stugotz]

Okay. So point is, he is that I.

[Billy Gil]

Can'T watch something that I think I'm going to like because I know Anthony will like it. And then if I watch it without him, he's going to get upset about it. So if I'm in the bachelor mood mode, I've got to specifically look for things that I like and he wouldn't.

[Dan Le Batard]

You got a TV cheat.

[Stugotz]

Hold on. There you go, Chris. Allow me, Izzy. This is what you do.

[Billy Gil]

I gotta go ass off.

[Stugotz]

You watch it. Yeah. And then you say, anthony, I heard about this thing, this Billy Joel documentary. You want to check it out? And it's like, sure. And then you start watching it and you're like, wow. You just make these little.

[Billy Gil]

Surprise them with, like, some predictions in there.

[Stugotz]

You've gone too far. You've gone too far. You just got to. You got to be. Wow. A little bit of like. Huh? Little interstitials there. You just expect that. Yeah.

[Billy Gil]

Well, how about if I fall asleep, though? Because I already know what happened and I fall asleep and then he gets angry.

[Stugotz]

Oh, well, then.

[Dan Le Batard]

Well, then he's going to watch it again because he doesn't want you to miss it, so you're not watching for a third time.

[Billy Gil]

All right. I don't know if I like this.

[Stugotz]

Play it.

[Mike Ryan]

I definitely had Cynthia with a Your loss. Because she came home, she's like, oh, I watch Happy Gilmore too. I was like, all right, I guess I was waiting without. But I'll just, like, go F myself. Like. And I was like, you know what? I'm like, I've only heard certain things about this movie. I'm like, your experience with it was diminished because there are certain jokes that I could have explained to you, like, you don't know who Will Zalatoris is. I could have explained that to you, and you would have found it funny.

[Billy Gil]

I must have fallen asleep with him.

[Dan Le Batard]

Did she enjoy the movie?

[Mike Ryan]

Yeah. I mean, I think there's a lot of people. I want to see it because of the polarizing reaction. I've seen a lot of people say this is crap, but a Netflix sequel, Cash grab from Adam Sandler. I know what I'm getting into.

[Stugotz]

How could it go wrong?

[Mike Ryan]

Yeah, I want to watch it for the nostalgia. I want to watch it for the cameos.

[Dan Le Batard]

But some of his Netflix movies have been good. Like that mystery date with Jennifer Aniston, who's funny man.

[Mike Ryan]

I gotta be honest, didn't care to even consider watching that film. Yeah, I watched the. The one with Chris Rock where they were like, seven. No, no, the other one where they were like, having a wedding grown up six. That one.

[Billy Gil]

I don't know about you guys. A movie has to really reel me in. Like, I will. It's stupid. You look at a two hour movie versus a show with eight episodes. I'm watching the show with eight episodes. That's eight hours versus the movie. I feel like it's less of a commitment in terms of this better be good. Because, like, in that eight episode show, if I get one good episode, two good episodes, I'm happy in the movie if it sucks. I'm so pissed off.

[Mike Ryan]

The Billy Joel doc, it gets you right in because he's like, he was living with his best friend. He ends up having a relationship with a best friend's wife, and then he's like, yeah, drink an entire bottle of Lemon Pledge. All right, let's see where this goes. Billy, I apprec your.

[Billy Gil]

And it's a movie, not a series.

[Mike Ryan]

No, it's a documentary. It's a docu series. There's more than one episode.

[Billy Gil]

See, that's. That's what you get me.

[Stugotz]

But here's. You go, you watch it, and then you watch it again with Anthony. And then when that happens, you go, huh? The lemon fledge comes out. Wow.

[Mike Ryan]

Also, he's just vigorously, like, ripping a vape the entire time. And the aggressive vape pools, which is, like, deep in through the mouth. And out through the nose. Oh, he's.

[Stugotz]

Power move.

[Mike Ryan]

Yeah, it's a power move. Like, you sit back and you're like, man, damn, this guy's immature.

[Stugotz]

Immature? You're a little too old to be doing that. You're a rock star, Billy Joel. Smoke cigarettes, smoke heaters.

[Gina]

Smoke crack.

[Stugotz]

Yeah. Do it your style, you're vape.

[Billy Gil]

Bachelor pad. You can smoke anything.

[Mike Ryan]

He's so far beyond smoking crack. The guy just downed a bottle of Lemon Pledge. I think he's operating on a different level.

[Gina]

Why did he drink Pledge?

[Billy Gil]

Does it smell good?

[Mike Ryan]

He was really depressed and unhoused, like, sleeping in laundromats. And he's like, I'm not gonna be here anymore. But then, you know, the best friend actually drove him to the hospital and saved his life. And he's featured prominently in the thing.

[Billy Gil]

Hang on a second. Do you, like, spray it directly into your mouth?

[Chris Cote]

Do you like collagen?

[Dan Le Batard]

No.

[Mike Ryan]

He chugged an entire bottle of Lemon Pledge. According to him, in this documentary.

[Billy Gil]

I thought that was an aerosol.

[Stugotz]

No, they've got a. They got a liquid version. Also, the reason why he did Lemon Pledge is because he's very brand conscious. Procter and Gamble guy. Yeah.

[Mike Ryan]

And also that flavor, I guess.

[Dan Le Batard]

I think I'm calling bullshit.

[Mike Ryan]

You think? I mean, these are documented things.

[Dan Le Batard]

Yeah. No, you just said that he. It like, they didn't document him downing.

[Mike Ryan]

I'm sure we can. I'm sure we can, like, figure out if he checked himself into an emergency room.

[Stugotz]

You got him taking, like, a swig.

[Dan Le Batard]

I do.

[Stugotz]

I have an upset stomach, and then I take it to the hospital and, like.

[Mike Ryan]

Like a cry for help, Lemon Pledge type?

[Billy Gil]

Yeah.

[Stugotz]

Yeah.

[Dan Le Batard]

You're telling me you drink a bottle of Lemon Pledge, you're not dead.

[Gina]

You're dead.

[Stugotz]

I mean, it depends. What's your intestinal fortitude like?

[Dan Le Batard]

I think he took a sip. He's like, this tastes terrible. I drink a whole bottle.

[Mike Ryan]

Well, he also. He also did an. Apologies if this is a triggering conversation, but he also took, like, a handful of sleeping pills that he was in a coma for several days. Like, this was during a.

[Stugotz]

Wait. Did he apologize? Did you just apologize?

[Mike Ryan]

No, I apologize for the content. Because when you talk about self harm, these things are triggering. So we should put a description in the episode. But no, he was very. He was in an era in which he was really into self harm.

[Stugotz]

That makes this episode sound like a downer. We've had so much fun.

[Mike Ryan]

I know. We're just having the conversation. I want to be fair.

[Stugotz]

All right. Well, let's. Let's switch gears then. Let's talk about ya boy thinks he's too big for league things, right? We add MLS All Star game. Everyone's really excited. Hey, this is a showcase. We sell our game to people. We're trying to grow our game and our biggest cash cow. Hey, hey, Leo, where you at? Nowhere to be found.

[Mike Ryan]

Yeah, Messi. For those that don't know the story, Messi and is my neighbor. Teammate. He is your neighbor, yeah.

[Billy Gil]

For those who don't know the story.

[Mike Ryan]

Messi and Jordi Alba decided to skip the MLS All Star game. This was something that kind of came together pretty quickly. And MLS had a league rule that if you willingly decided to not participate in the MLS All Star game, you'd be suspended for a game. Inter Miami, we got into it last week with a Rodrigo DePaul signing. No one really knew if it was a designated player or a TM signing. The. He's very handsome. We can talk about that in a second. But there is this notion that Inter Miami and the league have a unique relationship. They push the boundaries of what the rules are. And other MLS clubs are like pointing the finger at them, saying, how are they allowed to do this? So Messi and Alba got suspended. Jorge Moss came out with a statement that was basically threatening MLS like this will no doubt have an impact on how Leo thinks of this league. You're talking about a player that is out of contract come December. They're trying to keep him leave. So like he was basically upset that MLS didn't change its rules for Messi. Here's where the inner Miami argument is, which is, look, we advanced to the knockout round of the Club World cup up. We made MLS millions of dollars by doing this. We made our own club millions of dollars. Like in the neighborhood of $24 million approximately in getting that far. Meanwhile, all the MLS clubs were embarrassing in this tournament. We were.

[Billy Gil]

How many extra games was that then?

[Mike Ryan]

It was just one extra game because they played psg, who was just on an unbelievable tear and murdered. They got to the final. Yeah, they were in that first half. There were three successful patches, passes beyond midfield in the PSG zone. So it was a. It was a. It was a. It was an ass kicking.

[Stugotz]

It was what was supposed to happen.

[Mike Ryan]

Yeah, but no, we wouldn't be.

[Stugotz]

We wouldn't be surprised that the Nuggets destroyed the Mexico City Capitanas of the G League. Right.

[Billy Gil]

Like, here's my question to Mike, though. If, like, let's say MLS looks at the entire situation like you just laid out and says, okay, you know what? Last second rule change. This team in particular has done so much. They've represented our league very well. Not injured per se, but we want to avoid that possibility going forward. We are not going to suspend him or Jordi Alba for this particular, you know, not showing up for the All Star game. How do you think that's received?

[Mike Ryan]

I think that MLS was put in a difficult spot because they're already kind of pushing the rules a little bit with this Rodrigo DePaul signing, and a lot of teams were confused as to how they were able to pull it off. Basically, he's a TAM player this year, but next year he gets to be a designated player. It does. There was a genuine confusion in the MLS office.

[Billy Gil]

They're just working through loopholes, basically.

[Mike Ryan]

Right. And to the Moss family credit, like, these people push the limits. They want to spend more money, they want mos and make more aggressive moves because they think the league is being held back by this conservative approach. And their argument is pretty solid when you consider Don Garber released the streaming numbers for the first time last week and they are abysmal. Abysmal. Less than 200,000 people a game. Your average audience for MLS. That is terrible. And he felt almost proud in saying, like, that's way up from last year.

[Dan Le Batard]

Whoa.

[Mike Ryan]

This is not a way to grow the league at this moment. They probably went too early in this paywall model. And there are so many free deals out there now for mls. If you have a certain cellular character carrier, a certain cable carrier, you essentially get this for free. So that is a really, really bad number.

[Stugotz]

But I think when we found this even on the NFL side with, with, with the Amazon games, it's like, it's. Whenever you have these non traditional ways of viewing games, even if they're free, you are automatically losing a portion of your audience because people are like, I can't figure it out.

[Mike Ryan]

Where the hell is it is confusing, but I will say that I think MLS probably would have made a concession like you're playing. Remember, only three or four MLS clubs made the club World cup, so those are extra fixtures. And this week begins the league's cup where MLS plays Liga and Meki. So there's a lot of extra games that Inter Miami have to play compared to other MLS teams. And I can totally imagine a 39 year old Leo Messi who's got a World cup on the horizon, playing all these games. Like, you want me to play an All Star game, an exhibition?

[Billy Gil]

Well, my follow up, Mike Is that who. If he didn't get suspended, if they did bend the rules for him and Jordy, who really would have been that upset? We're talking one game. Like, would Cincinnati have just been like.

[Stugotz]

Oh, this is bull.

[Billy Gil]

Like, we're talking one game and they understand, I would say, the finances, the business of it. Right.

[Stugotz]

Dude, that's bullshit.

[Chris Cote]

Do we prefer Drew Carey when he was heavier?

[Stugotz]

Yes.

[Dan Le Batard]

Yep. Absolutely not funny anymore.

[Stugotz]

Way to bring it back, man. I was really worried about the tenor of our conversation.

[Mike Ryan]

That dude's a fiend.

[Dan Le Batard]

Yeah.

[Stugotz]

Huh?

[Mike Ryan]

Yeah. Drew Carey.

[Stugotz]

That's how he lost.

[Mike Ryan]

Collects sex dolls.

[Stugotz]

Oh, that kind of fiend.

[Mike Ryan]

Wow.

[Stugotz]

Yeah.

[Mike Ryan]

Let me. Let me Google that real quick. Howdy, folks, It's Mike Ryan. If you were listening to the show just a couple days ago, you know that Jeremy came up with the top five breath of fresh air type of list. A really refreshing feeling. And on that list, Jeremy, help me out.

[Chris Cote]

I mean, that first sip of a.

[Dan Le Batard]

Miller light at the barbecue on a.

[Stugotz]

Hot day, crack it open.

[Gina]

That sound feelings better.

[Mike Ryan]

That sound ultra satisfying. And then that first sip, it hits. And yes, while it's hot outside, as it is presently cools your body down, it hits a little different down here in South Florida. But as someone that had Miller light north of the border and basically football tailgates as the leaves turn, there really isn't a bad time to turn into Miller time. Next time, we should do a top.

[Chris Cote]

Five times to have Miller time.

[Mike Ryan]

I like where your head's at because it's every time. That's right. Every time. Morning time, probably. Well, scratch that.

[Dan Le Batard]

Morning time.

[Mike Ryan]

Morning, morning.

[Dan Le Batard]

Morning time.

[Mike Ryan]

If you're on vacation. If you're on vacation.

[Chris Cote]

If you're at a morning tailgate, there's a noon game.

[Mike Ryan]

It's Miller time somewhere. Miller Lite. Great taste. 96 calories. Go to millerlight.com dan to find delivery options near you. Or you can pick up some Miller Lite pretty much anywhere they sell beer. Cheers to 50 years of Miller time. Celebrate responsibly. Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin. 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces.