The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz – Local Hour: “If It Wasn't For Me”

Date: September 5, 2025
Recording Location: Elser Hotel, Downtown Miami
Hosts: Dan Le Batard, Stugotz, Billy Gil, plus contributors

Episode Overview

This Local Hour episode focuses on the recurring theme of sportsmanship and disrespect following multiple high-profile spitting incidents in sports. The crew discusses recent events in the NFL and international soccer, dives into the legacy and impact of such acts, and segues into notable sports reporting with a playful takedown of “journalistic heroics.” A major portion of the show humorously debates the ongoing NBA salary cap scandal surrounding Steve Ballmer, Pablo Torre’s role in uncovering it, and the bizarre interplay between billionaire owners and the sports world. The conversation repeatedly returns to the ever-present weirdness of South Florida, its sports fans, and the unique cast of characters populating these stories.

Main Discussion Themes & Key Segments

1. Spitting Incidents in Sports: A Symbol of Disrespect

[02:08 – 06:44]

• The episode opens with a rundown of not one but three spitting incidents: two in NFL Thursday Night Football and one in MLS (Luis Suarez).
• Key Quote (Dan Le Batard, 02:27):

  “If you're going to start the season in a way that gets my interest, do it that way as a symbol where Philadelphia and Dallas hate each other so much … I spit in your face. Because I'm that kind of disrespectful.”

• The hosts break down the difference between spitting at someone's feet (Dak Prescott) vs. in someone’s face (Jalen Carter), contextualizing the varying levels of disrespect.
• Reference to infamous sports spitters: Roberto Alomar (“That’s the guy who spit in the face of an umpire”), Luis Suarez, and even a Jose Fernandez story.

2. Dak Prescott, Jalen Carter, and Game Tactics

[06:44 – 08:27]

• New details reveal Dak Prescott instigated the NFL spitting altercation with a disrespectful spit at the ground, leading to Carter's retaliatory ejection.
• Quote (Billy Gil, 07:28):

  “If this was genius by Dak Prescott… The ultimate game plan. The thing the quarterback doesn't want is pressure up the middle. The thing that guy provides... is pressure. And when you look at what Dak Prescott did…after that, spit lands on his face, he's got to be feeling pretty good about himself that he's just eliminated the thing that was among the most problematic things in the game plan…”

3. Pablo Torre, Steve Ballmer, and Journalism as Spectacle

[08:41 – 17:04]

• The show pivots to the NBA scandal involving Steve Ballmer, Mark Cuban, and a $50 million mysterious payment, with Pablo Torre uncovering the story.
• The crew mocks Pablo’s self-congratulatory tone and playfully exaggerates Ballmer’s “confused billionaire” persona.
• Quote (Dan Le Batard, 10:45):

  “He found somebody who would keep a deal for his most important player... secret so successfully that he would have gotten away with it if it wasn't for me.”

• Stugotz (11:00):

  “He hit him with that Scooby Doo, Dan. Oh, he hit him with that Scooby Doo.”

• The “if it wasn’t for me” phrase becomes a running gag throughout the segment.

4. The Journalist Archetype and Ownership Ethics

[15:51 – 18:21]

• More jokes about journalistic bravado (“Jim DeFede is what a real journalist looks like... Paolo's walking around with like a quarter zip on and some shoes with tigers on them, probably…” [16:21]) and billionaire oblivion.
• The morality and impact of major reporting and the ethics of billionaire team owners are discussed.
• Quote (Dan Le Batard, 17:04):

  “How is Pablo’s brand such that he makes the billionaire likable?”

5. Mark Cuban’s Motives & NBA Owner Solidarity

[18:22 – 22:57]

• The group questions why Mark Cuban would spar with Pablo Torre given his limited knowledge on the subject, theorizing that he wants to keep club business private and protect owner solidarity.
• Ongoing critique of salary caps as anti-player and pro-owner, referencing injustices like the disparity between Juan Soto and LeBron James’s earnings.

6. Salary Cap Hypocrisy & Owner Behavior

[22:57 – 25:15]

• They confirm that, contrary to oversimplified narratives, salary caps serve to depress player wages rather than ensure parity—billionaires always seek competitive advantage via loopholes.

7. Acts of Disrespect in Sports: Ranking the Worst

[27:50 – 39:49]

• The crew recalls not only spitting, but other shameful, creative, or bizarre moments: George W. Bush dodging a thrown shoe, JR Smith throwing soup, Lance Stevenson blowing in LeBron’s ear, Brad Marchand licking an opponent.
• Quote (Stugotz, 33:17):

  “I'd rather have soup thrown at me than someone spit at me.”

• Context provided around cultural meanings of disrespect (shoe-throwing, etc.).

8. South Florida’s Iconic Sports Fans

[39:49 – 41:09]

• Tribute to “Fake Ric Flair” — a beloved Florida Panthers fan, recently passed away — and a rundown of legendary South Florida superfans: Marlin’s Man, Dolphan Denny, Yamayama, Cutler Ridge Laz.
• Jokes about how local celebrities evolve from fans to mascots and how everyone “knows Chris’s friend Steve.”

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Dan Le Batard, on Ballmer’s Confusion [09:13]:

  “I believe that he could actually be confused and just not know how $50 million of his ended up somewhere … a bumbling idiot type of guy.”

• Billy Gil, on Pablo as heroic journalist [11:09]:

  “Paula's acting like he's rummaging around in, like, garbage bins, finding these things. If it wasn't for me…”

• Stugotz, on "expectoration" [08:27]:

  “You're only the second person that I ever heard use the term expectorating, the first being Gaston from Beauty and the Beast.”

• Dan Le Batard, on salary cap [23:51]:

  “I don't think that the salary cap in the NBA is really leading to the parity that they're parading around that it is.”

• Billy Gil, on comparative value [24:39]:

  “If Juan Soto gets hurt today and never plays again, he makes $200 million more than LeBron made for a career that's six years longer than Juan Soto's contract. That's what I'm saying. That's stupid.”

• Stugotz, on legendary sports fans passing [39:49]:

  “And one of the goats, the fake Ric Flair from Panther games... It's sad to see an iconic Florida Panthers fan pass away. Rest in peace.”

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Spitting Incidents in Sports: 02:08 – 06:44
• Football Game Day/Strategy Analysis (Dak/Jalen Carter): 06:44 – 08:27
• Pablo Torre/Steve Ballmer Reporting: 08:41 – 17:04
• Journalism & Owner Ethics: 15:51 – 18:21
• Mark Cuban/Sports Ownership Solidarity: 18:22 – 22:57
• Salary Cap Discussion: 22:57 – 25:15
• Acts of Disrespect in Sports: 27:50 – 39:49
• Tribute to Iconic South Florida Fans: 39:49 – 41:09

Additional Running Jokes & References

• Multiple callbacks to Scooby-Doo's villain reveal line: “...if it wasn’t for me.”
• Billy’s light-hearted confusion between reality, AI, and Caddyshack.
• Ongoing “Team Ballmer” versus “Team Pablo” satirical debate.
• Local color: South Florida personalities and the peculiar nature of fandom in Miami.

Tone & Style

The episode maintains classic Dan Le Batard Show energy: irreverent, fast-paced, and self-aware, with a blend of zany humor and real sports cynicism. The hosts mix sharp media critique, authentic sports analysis, and Miami-centric storytelling, punctuated with friendly mockery and memorable soundbites.

Summary Prepared for Listeners Seeking Deep Dives, Hot Takes, or a Taste of Miami Sports Radio at Its Wisest—and Weirdest