The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Local Hour: "Jeff-Initely or Jeff-Initely Not?"
Date: November 19, 2025
Setting: Elser Hotel, Downtown Miami
Hosts: Dan Le Batard, Stugotz, Mike Ryan, Chris Cody, Zaslow, Louis, Reese, Eddie
Episode Overview
This episode of the "Local Hour" is signature Le Batard Show: a rapid-fire, spirited, and absurd trip through college football outrage, committee conspiracies, Miami sports, NBA injury debates, and nostalgia for athletic glory (and mediocrity). Behind the tongue-in-cheek banter lies real discussion about subjectivity in sports rankings, the modern NBA landscape, and how generational memory shapes sports conversation. There’s plenty of Miami homerism, meta-commentary on made-for-TV arguments, and a generous helping of sports-adjacent nonsense, all delivered with the show’s familiar irreverence.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. Cream Cheese, Grit of Death, and the Vibes of the Room
- [02:20] The show opens post-ads with Dan discovering a half-eaten bagel slathered with cream cheese, a mystery tied to Zaslow’s breakfast habits.
- [03:07] Cream cheese policing in the studio: Ethan questioning Louis on cream cheese usage.
- [03:24] Zaslow is serving a “grit of death” punishment, dressed as a "pope who really likes his cream cheese" and apparently a Chicago White Sox fan.
2. College Football Playoff (CFP) Committee: Outrage and Absurdity
- [03:34] Mike Ryan's visible CFP-related hostility sets the tone.
- [04:27] Dan’s analogy: “This is like complaining about the judges in boxing… The whole thing that college football is is feed the argument, feed the outrage before it even matters. Let’s do a television show on total contrivances.” [Dan – 04:27]
- [05:11] CFP committee compared to open scoring in boxing; outrage as sport.
Key Segment:
- [07:14 – 13:54] Extended argument over CFP rankings, especially the lack of consistency:
- Why is Notre Dame’s loss to Miami viewed as a moral victory, while Miami’s win over Notre Dame is disregarded?
- Year-to-year, criteria change (one year it’s “quality wins,” another it’s “quality losses”).
- “Why in the hell is Notre Dame ranked ahead of BYU?” [Stugotz – 10:15]
- “Because this year, for whatever the reason, they're measuring the losses.” [Dan – 11:25]
- Betting lines as "the ultimate judgment of quality": "When it comes to the judgment of money, Miami will be favored in all of its games." [Dan – 16:03]
Notable Quotes:
- “It’s made-for-TV gymnastics... If you’re gonna make something for television, entertain me, man.” [Dan – 09:08]
- “They went to this committee because we were upset with the computers…but there is no consistency.” [Stugotz – 09:24]
3. Notre Dame Bias, Miami Homerism, and CFP Conspiracies
- [16:48] “Why does everyone love Notre Dame so much?” [Reese – 16:48]
- “Sometimes the Pope knows why everyone loves Notre Dame so much.” [Dan, mocking Zaslow in costume – 16:52]
- [17:29] Running gag: Does Notre Dame give a “kickback to the Vatican”?
- “Put it on the poll plays at @LeBatardShow: Does Notre Dame have to kick back to the Vatican?” [Dan – 17:37]
- “I’m Christian. But, yes, I do believe that there is a little bit of kickback back to the Vatican. Like, it’s tied in.” [Eddie – 22:55]
4. Human Judgment vs. Computers in Rankings
- [24:06] Should the CFP use AI/computers instead of humans? AI would be less biased, but could they consider “head-to-head” if we write it into the algorithm?
- “Here we are, 20 years later, and the committee that was supposed to be a guardrail against bypassing Head to Head is once again bypassing Head to Head.” [Stugotz – 24:35]
- “Now it's like having a conversation with you.” [Mike Ryan on AI's sophistication – 25:07]
5. Meta Commentary: Arguing for the Sake of Arguing
- [25:29] Dan’s awareness: Debating rankings in November is just content filler.
- “It’s just something we do to entertain ourselves during the week, during a content week where you need stuff to feed on.” [Dan – 25:29]
6. John Oliver References – Death Metal Beauty Pageant
- [26:29] Dan references John Oliver’s “Last Week Tonight”: “...a talent portion of a beauty contest... the woman... was just doing death metal.”
- Followed by a bit on "robots on TV committees" and slapstick robot fail videos.
7. NBA Road Woes, Schedule Complaints, and Resting Stars
- [27:51] Focus shifts to the visiting Golden State Warriors: Steve Kerr complaining about the toughest road trip ever.
- “I never expect a star to play in that league.” [Stugotz, discussing expected absences of Steph Curry, Draymond Green, and Jimmy Butler – 28:30]
- [29:25] Mike Ryan’s take: The NBA’s rest/injury rules are easy to game – “If you just start the lie a little earlier…” [29:25]
Notable Quote:
- “What is the league gonna do, fly doctors in? Like, open your mouth, stick out your tongue... No, they're just gonna take your word for it.” [Mike Ryan – 29:25]
8. The Pace and Injury Problem in NBA Basketball
-
[34:44] – [36:26] Steve Kerr soundbite and discussion:
- More pace, more possessions = more injuries (mostly soft tissue/non-contact, not “physical” injuries)
- “Players are running faster and further than ever before…We’re trying to protect them, but basically have a game every other night and it’s not easy.” [Steve Kerr – 34:44]
-
Developmental debate: Single-sport focus (AAU) vs. playing multiple sports to avoid overuse injuries (Gretzky, Jerry Rice, Jordan anecdote) [37:04–38:35]
9. NBA Softball League Tangent
- [39:00] Who’d be the #1 pick in a fictional NBA men’s softball league?
- Banter about NBA players’ athleticism and size (with comical takes on Victor Wembanyama’s “strike zone”).
10. “Stat of the Day” and Basketball Nostalgia
- [40:38] Stat: Steph Curry has 47 games with 9 or more three-pointers made (next closest: Damian Lillard with 14).
- Reminiscing about Brian Shaw’s 10-threes game as a groundbreaking event, compared to today’s barrage.
11. TV Show Wars: “Get Up” vs. Le Batard Show
- [44:03] Mike Ryan (half-mocking): “Dan, Get Up is doing a better show than you right now.”
- Introduction of the bit: "Jeff-initely or Jeff-initely Not?" inspired by ESPN’s programming.
12. Legacy and Generational Amnesia in Sports & Comedy
- [45:08] – [46:46] Will Eddie Murphy be remembered by Gen Z the way older generations remember Richard Pryor or George Carlin?
- Dan’s point: “None of you saw Babe Ruth play, but you all know who Babe Ruth is.” [46:11]
- Mike Ryan pushes back: “Kids nowadays don't know shit about anything that happened before they were alive. These are people who have never watched The Godfather.” [47:07]
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
-
Dan’s boxing analogy on CFP outrage:
“Let’s do a television show on total contrivances. It’s like doing a television show after the third round in boxing by asking the judges what they think so far.” [04:27] -
On CFP’s lack of consistent criteria:
“We went to this committee because we were upset with the computers…there is no consistency.” [Stugotz – 09:24] -
On betting lines as truth:
“When it comes to the judgment of money, Miami will be favored in all of its games...they are always expected to win every single game they play this season.” [Dan – 16:03] -
On TV argument culture:
“It’s just something we do to entertain ourselves during the week, during a content week where you need stuff to feed on.” [Dan – 25:29] -
On NBA injury landscape:
“[Injuries are] not like, ‘Oh, I got hit and then my chest caved in or whatever.’ It's soft tissue injuries... due to wear and tear.” [Mike Ryan – 36:41] -
On generational memory:
“Kids nowadays don’t know shit about anything that happened before they were alive.” [Mike Ryan – 47:07] -
On NBA players in a softball league:
“He would help you, though. Anything that is a ground ball to the infield, anywhere in the infield, he just stretches and you can just flip him... the third baseman. Can you picture that visual?” [Dan – 39:23]
Timestamps for Important Segments
- 02:20–04:00: Cream cheese banter and Zaslow’s “pope” grit of death costume
- 04:27–09:24: CFP outrage, boxing analogy, and committee critiques
- 13:17–16:48: “Quality losses” vs. “quality wins” and betting lines as justice
- 16:48–17:43: Notre Dame Vatican “kickback” conspiracy
- 24:03–25:07: Should computers run the playoff rankings?
- 26:29–27:25: John Oliver’s death metal beauty queen; “robots on the committee”
- 28:28–30:51: NBA star rest/injury politics, league fines, and loopholes
- 34:44–36:41: Steve Kerr on NBA pace and injuries; multi-sport athlete advantage
- 40:38–41:30: “Stat of the Day” – Steph Curry’s dominance from three
- 44:03–44:33: TV programming wars: “Get Up’s” ‘Jeff-initely or Jeff-initely Not?’
- 45:08–47:24: Comedy legacy, sports memory, and generational disconnect
Overall Tone and Style
The episode is breezy, irreverent, and hyper-local in flavor, mixing serious sports analysis with surreal bits, inside jokes, and Miami-centric pride. The tone swerves easily from genuine frustration about college football’s subjectivity to playful mockery and pop culture tangents.
Recommended Listen If...
You want:
- Sharp, funny commentary on the absurdities of college football rankings
- A little NBA injury/pace nerding
- Miami sports talk plus TV/media self-awareness
- What it sounds like when a group of friends continually challenge each other on “what really matters” in sports
(End of summary)
