The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Local Hour: Kids Are Ingrates
August 28, 2025
Episode Overview
Broadcasting from the Elser Hotel in Downtown Miami, Dan Le Batard, Stugotz, and the crew deliver their signature blend of sports analysis, irreverent banter, and local flavor. The episode navigates the onset of college football season, workplace dynamics within the studio crew, the woes of sick kids and parental stresses, the quirks of South Florida fandom, and some hilarious detours on pop culture and local sports institutions. Appropriately titled “Kids Are Ingrates,” the hour also reflects on the disconnect between generations—both on campus and at home.
Table of Contents
- Billy Gil’s Inner Circle and Thermometer Woes
- College Football Kickoff: Miami, Notre Dame, LSU, Clemson & Belichick
- Sick Kids, Scarlet Fever & Parental Nightmares
- The Devil on ESPN: Mel Kiper Jr. and Tangents
- The Sueys: Best Dismissal and Bits
- FIU Football, Campus Fame, and “Kids Are Ingrates”
- Panthers Front Office and Franchise Culture
- Memorable Quotes
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1. Billy Gil’s Inner Circle and Thermometer Woes
[02:02 – 05:27]
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Group Dynamics: Dan and Chris discuss how Billy Gil’s “inner circle” is notoriously hard to penetrate, joking about how rare it is to get a text back from Billy.
- Chris Cody: “Fuentes was telling people that he got a return text from you... We're like, you got a blessed return text from Billy. You're in the inner circle, Fuentes.” [02:54]
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Billy’s Family Health Saga:
- Billy shares a stressful parenting story: with his kids sick and their pediatrician gone, he navigates urgent care chaos, head vs. ear thermometer debates, and ends up at a CVS hunting for a locked thermometer.
- He laments the “black market” restrictions on thermometers compared to other pharmacy goods:
- Billy Gil: “Why are they locking up thermometers? ...What are people gonna do with a thermometer?” [05:27]
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2. College Football Kickoff: Miami, Notre Dame, LSU, Clemson & Belichick
[10:01 – 24:51]
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3. Sick Kids, Scarlet Fever & Parental Nightmares
[25:05 – 28:31]
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4. The Devil on ESPN: Mel Kiper Jr. and Tangents
[29:18 – 31:38]
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5. The Sueys: Best Dismissal and Bits
[10:06 – 11:35, 21:43 – 22:13]
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Award Show for Show Bits
- The “Sueys” entries for “Best Dismissal” (split into Stugotz and non-Stugotz categories) and “Best Limited Fake” are announced amid laughter and confusion about the process. [10:19 – 11:25]
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Limited Fake Al Pacino
- Zaslow attempts an Al Pacino impression; scores a “7.6” from Chris Cody. [21:43]
- Dan: “That’s a Suey nominee right there.” [22:12]
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6. FIU Football, Campus Fame, and “Kids Are Ingrates”
[32:21 – 35:33]
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7. Panthers Front Office and Franchise Culture
[41:20 – 47:57]
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8. Memorable Quotes & Moments
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“Why are they locking up thermometers?...What are people gonna do with a thermometer?”
—Billy Gil, [05:27]
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“I can honestly see how people without the Internet, without WebMD in the 1800s said, this isn’t scarlet fever. This girl’s possessed.”
—Dan Le Batard, [28:06]
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“Mel Kuiper Jr. looks like the devil.”
—Chris Cody, [37:35]
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“Kids are ingrates. I don’t know if you know this...Kids are generally ingrate. Zaz can tell you. He’s nodding along.”
—Billy Gil, [35:15]
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“Belichick is a bit of a fart this weekend.”
—Chris Cody, [18:34]
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“It is more stunning than seeing them win the championships... to see them be the organization that is the model franchise for everyone else.”
—Dan Le Batard, [46:02]
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“I don’t think I need to even aspire to objectivity this season.”
—Billy Gil, [33:12]
Key Segment Timestamps
- [02:02]: Billy Gil's “inner circle” texting banter
- [03:57]: Billy’s locked thermometer/CVS story
- [10:19]: Suey categories & show bits
- [16:40]: Big college football weekend games debate
- [18:34]: “Belichick is a bit of a fart”—generational fan divides
- [25:05]: Sick kids, scarlet fever, paranoia
- [29:18]: Mel Kiper Jr./“devil” laughs
- [33:12]: Billy's objectivity at FIU games
- [34:35]: Campus fame and “kids are ingrates”
- [41:20]: Panthers front office departures & sports business talk
- [46:02]: Panthers as the new model franchise in sports
Summary
This “Local Hour” explores everything from heated college football debates, the anxiety of modern parenting, and generational sports fandom, to the quirky insularity and humor of the show’s cast. While Miami sports, college football, and the local flavor provide the backdrop, the real value shines through in honest admissions, comedic self-awareness, and a group dynamic that feels like a conversation among old friends—punctuated, always, by zingers, pop culture references, and a loving roast of Billy’s parenting worries and his unique status on campus.