Local Hour: Kyrie Eleison

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Episode: Local Hour: Kyrie Eleison
Release Date: August 14, 2025

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Introduction

In this engaging episode of The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz, hosts Dan Le Batard and Stugotz delve into their recent experiences and shift gears to discuss the latest in sports, particularly focusing on the Miami Dolphins and their joint preseason practices with the Detroit Lions. The episode is filled with humorous banter, insightful analysis, and lighthearted moments that provide both entertainment and valuable perspectives for listeners.

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Bowling Night Banter (01:05 - 07:18)

The episode kicks off with Dan noticing that he and the crew appear sleepy, leading to a conversation about their night out bowling.

• Chris Cote shares his newfound bowling habit, stating, "the last couple of years I've done bowling on Wednesdays and so I've kind of gotten the habit" (01:21).
• Stugotz humorously questions, "Nobody knows how to keep score in bowling" (01:28), sparking a playful debate about traditional vs. electronic scoring.
• The hosts engage in a lighthearted attempt to manually calculate bowling scores, highlighting the complexities and occasional frustrations of keeping score without technological assistance. Dan humorously claims, "I do" know how to keep score, despite evident struggles (04:50).

Notable Quote:

• Dan Le Batard: "I don't need a few minutes. Give me 20 seconds to write it down. I'll give you the score. No problem." (05:10)

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Transition to Football Discussion (07:18 - 29:57)

Shifting from bowling, the conversation moves towards local sports, specifically the Miami Dolphins and their recent joint practices with the Detroit Lions.

• Dan Le Batard raises concerns about the Dolphins' performance, pondering whether preseason games might be replaced with joint practices for more controlled environments (20:46).
• Israel Gutierrez criticizes the Dolphins' offensive strategies, particularly their red zone play-calling: "over an eight play stretch during a red zone situational period. The Dolphins first team gained little traction despite trying to sow confusion with misdirection tactics" (27:42).
• Greg Cody and Stugotz add to the critique, questioning the Dolphins' ability to compete effectively: "Your backup is a name that we recognize. Who has looked the worst of all the backups that we've seen in preseason?" (37:38).

Notable Quotes:

• Israel Gutierrez: "I would be surprised if Tua makes it through all the snaps in the first two games." (37:06)
• Stugotz: "If the dolphins start 2-2, 0-2, you would not be surprised." (36:52)

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Analysis of Dolphins vs. Lions Joint Practices (29:57 - 39:35)

The hosts delve deeper into the implications of the Dolphins' joint practices with the Lions, analyzing media reactions and potential impacts on the Dolphins' season.

• Dan Le Batard cites tweets from Detroit media praising the Lions' dominance during the joint practice, suggesting a lack of confidence in the Dolphins: "Lions dominated both sides" (24:47).
• Stugotz and Chris Cote discuss the cultural and strategic differences between the two teams, emphasizing the Dolphins' perceived weaknesses.
• The conversation highlights the Dolphins' defensive issues, particularly in the secondary, and questions the coaching staff's approach to managing these deficiencies.

Notable Quotes:

• Colton Pouncy (Detroit media): "The Dolphins offense just ran 16 or so plays in the red zone versus the Lions. Didn't score until the final play." (24:58)
• Dan Le Batard: "We think coaches would rather join practices than preseason games because the joint practices, like, it's a controlled environment." (20:46)

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Break and Brief Ads (39:35 - 43:05)

The episode includes brief commercial breaks promoting various products and services, including Miller Lite, Chime Credit Builder Visa, Chewy for pet supplies, Zinn for nicotine satisfaction, DraftKings Sportsbook, and streaming services bundles. These segments maintain the show's flow while providing listeners with relevant advertisements.

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Discussion on Jacob Marcy and the Marlins (43:05 - 42:58)

Post-ad break, the hosts return to discuss the Miami Marlins, focusing on a promising prospect, Jacob Marcy.

• Dan Le Batard introduces Jacob Marcy, highlighting his impressive debut: "he was great and he's been great. Last night he was 4 for 5 with two home runs and seven RBI in the Marlins 13-4 win" (40:08).
• Stugotz humorously questions Marcy's OPS (On-base Plus Slugging) score, enhancing the lighthearted nature of the discussion: "I do know what OPS is?" (40:58).
• Israel Gutierrez expresses cautious optimism about Marcy's potential, comparing his debut to legendary performances: "I have not watched the Marlins in forever. For them to get me back is Tell me we got the next Barry Bonds." (43:05).

Notable Quotes:

• Dan Le Batard: "He has an OPS of 1400 right now." (41:15)
• Stugotz: "That's better than Bonds, I think." (42:25)

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Conclusion

The episode concludes with the hosts wrapping up their discussions, maintaining their signature blend of humor and sports analysis. They leave listeners with ongoing thoughts about the Dolphins' prospects and the exciting potential of emerging talents like Jacob Marcy in the Marlins' lineup.

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Key Takeaways

• Bowling Humor: The hosts' playful struggle with bowling scoring exemplifies their chemistry and ability to entertain through everyday activities.
• Dolphins' Performance Concerns: A critical analysis of the Miami Dolphins' preseason practices with the Detroit Lions reveals significant doubts about the team's offensive and defensive strategies.
• Emerging Talent in MLB: Jacob Marcy's standout performance offers a silver lining for Miami Marlins fans, hinting at a potentially bright future.
• Engaging Banter: The episode is peppered with witty exchanges and humorous remarks, making complex sports discussions accessible and enjoyable.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Chris Cote: "the last couple of years I've done bowling on Wednesdays and so I've kind of gotten the habit" (01:21).
• Dan Le Batard: "I don't need a few minutes. Give me 20 seconds to write it down. I'll give you the score. No problem." (05:10).
• Israel Gutierrez: "I would be surprised if Tua makes it through all the snaps in the first two games." (37:06).
• Colton Pouncy: "The Dolphins offense just ran 16 or so plays in the red zone versus the Lions. Didn't score until the final play." (24:58).
• Dan Le Batard: "He has an OPS of 1400 right now." (41:15).
• Stugotz: "That's better than Bonds, I think." (42:25).

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Note: This summary captures the essence of the episode, focusing on key discussions and memorable moments, ensuring that listeners who haven't tuned in can grasp the main themes and enjoy the hosts' engaging dialogue.

Transcript

[Mike Ryan]

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[Dan Le Batard]

This is the Dan Levatar show with the Stugats podcast. So you're looking a little bit sleepy. You're looking a little bit tired. Chris, Cody, what do you have going on last night?

[Chris Cote]

Bowling got me.

[Stugotz]

Really?

[Chris Cote]

I used to not partake in the, you know, the beverages in the mid.

[Dan Le Batard]

What does that mean? You cannot partake?

[Stugotz]

What do you mean? You used to. Right.

[Chris Cote]

On school nights. I don't really get down.

[Stugotz]

Right.

[Chris Cote]

You know, the last couple of years I've done bowling on Wednesdays and so I've kind of gotten the habit.

[Dan Le Batard]

Are you in like. Are you on. In like a bowling league?

[Chris Cote]

Yes, sir.

[Stugotz]

Yeah.

[Chris Cote]

Great. He's on the team. Yeah, we got a whole squad.

[Stugotz]

So the bowling didn't get to you? The drinking did.

[Chris Cote]

Correct.

[Stugotz]

Okay.

[Chris Cote]

And it doesn't always.

[Stugotz]

Right.

[Chris Cote]

But it did last night.

[Dan Le Batard]

Let's backpedal for a second. So how many people are on a bowling team?

[Chris Cote]

5.

[Dan Le Batard]

And is it like total score? Is it average? How does that work?

[Chris Cote]

It's three games a night, and you do have an average. And then you're based off your average, you're given a handicap to kind of balance it out. You know, if you're really good, you have a zero handicap.

[Dan Le Batard]

Why is that? Why is there a handicap to balance it out? Why isn't just you versus another team?

[Chris Cote]

Because Then there's like, a few teams out there that are just so good that they would just win everything. This makes like a crappy bowler can compete with the good bowlers because of handicap.

[Stugotz]

I mean, Zaslo, it's like golf. The reason you have handicaps is so bad players can compete with good players. You know, I mean, bowling's no difference.

[Dan Le Batard]

Well, why don't you just. Why don't bad players compete in a league that's bad players and good players compete in a league?

[Stugotz]

Is there a bumper, like an ABC league, something like that?

[Chris Cote]

Bumper league, yeah.

[Dan Le Batard]

How about them bumpers?

[Israel Gutierrez]

Let's be honest. Nobody actually knows how to keep score in bowling. So if you just take off the TV on the top, right? No, no, nobody. Come on.

[Stugotz]

They're all lying.

[Greg Cody]

He's right about that.

[Dan Le Batard]

He's right.

[Stugotz]

He's right about.

[Dan Le Batard]

How do you score a spare?

[Chris Cote]

It's one of those things where old people like my dad can tell you he can look at a thing and be like, you're going to get.

[Israel Gutierrez]

It's been Dec decades since they've had to do it on their own. There's no way they remember how to do it. You're telling me off the screen and just bowl and then at the end have a big reveal as to who won. I guarantee you, everybody's like, maybe I won. I don't know how to keep score.

[Stugotz]

He just made bowling better.

[Dan Le Batard]

He did.

[Stugotz]

I mean, that is a reveal at the end.

[Israel Gutierrez]

Everybody goes and they show who what.

[Dan Le Batard]

And then, you know, I mean, Israel, you're. You're in North Miami beach guy. Like a tennis replay, like growing up.

[Israel Gutierrez]

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

[Dan Le Batard]

Are you.

[Israel Gutierrez]

Let's be specific.

[Dan Le Batard]

North Miami.

[Israel Gutierrez]

You are a North Miami beach guy. Yeah, North Miami guy.

[Dan Le Batard]

We are rivals.

[Israel Gutierrez]

We are not the same.

[Dan Le Batard]

This is true. Rival high schools.

[Stugotz]

That's down.

[Dan Le Batard]

Yeah, I remember. I have to get off the bus. I played varsity basketball.

[Israel Gutierrez]

Don't make me have to go get my North Miami police hat from the other room.

[Dan Le Batard]

I get it.

[Stugotz]

Please get it. Please get it.

[Dan Le Batard]

I would get off the bus. Israel's going to get the North Miami police hat. I'd get off the bus. When we were at North Miami, we were escorted into the gym by police.

[Stugotz]

Oh, wow.

[Dan Le Batard]

It was a big rivalry, huh? That was when. That. And it was my first experience at North Miami, you know, for a big rivalry game. That was when I walked next to our 6 foot 8 center into the gym.

[Greg Cody]

So you walked next to him, who is also walking next to police. So you were like, Three police was.

[Dan Le Batard]

Surrounding all of us. I'm like, I'm walking next.

[Stugotz]

And you still felt the need. Yep.

[Dan Le Batard]

Oh, yeah. He was a big boy. I'm walking with you.

[Stugotz]

Yeah. Cops with you, Zaslo.

[Dan Le Batard]

Now, I wasn't enough. None of Those cops were 6 foot 8. All right. Oh, look at Israel. He's got his North Miami police hat. Oh, look at you, looking very handsome. There you go.

[Mike Ryan]

It's incredible. Zaz still looks more like a cop.

[Greg Cody]

Oh, I don't know. How about now?

[Chris Cote]

Is he also in the sweat stain.

[Greg Cody]

In the flex cap?

[Mike Ryan]

No, that still says.

[Stugotz]

Yep.

[Israel Gutierrez]

You know, your mic's off, and you still got the NMPD thing right there.

[Dan Le Batard]

I'm throwing off.

[Israel Gutierrez]

I came in in the middle of the segment.

[Dan Le Batard]

I don't know what the hell's happening. So the point I'm making. All right, you're a North Miami kid. You don't remember going to Cloverleaf bowling and having to keep score by hand? You weren't able to do that?

[Israel Gutierrez]

Yeah, no, we were. Had to do it by hand. Nobody knew if we were right.

[Dan Le Batard]

True. I know.

[Israel Gutierrez]

All just pretty much a guess.

[Dan Le Batard]

I can keep score. I know.

[Stugotz]

Can you really?

[Dan Le Batard]

Absolutely.

[Stugotz]

All right, so you start your. You start your bowling game out with two strikes, a spare, and a seven.

[Dan Le Batard]

What do you have you're asking me to do? Give me a few minutes to write it down.

[Greg Cody]

Few minutes?

[Dan Le Batard]

I don't need a few minutes. Give me 20 seconds to write it down. I'll give you the score. No problem.

[Greg Cody]

Do it.

[Dan Le Batard]

What is it again?

[Stugotz]

It's two strikes.

[Dan Le Batard]

Okay. Strike, spare.

[Chris Cote]

Xx.

[Stugotz]

And a seven. Yeah.

[Israel Gutierrez]

Wait, what was the seven? Was it like a four three?

[Dan Le Batard]

It was like a spare.

[Stugotz]

It was a. A four. Three. Four three.

[Dan Le Batard]

Terrible.

[Chris Cote]

First shot.

[Dan Le Batard]

I'm score.

[Stugotz]

It's a four three. So it's two strikes. It's a spare, and it's a seven. I have no idea what that adds up to.

[Dan Le Batard]

I do.

[Greg Cody]

That's why I look at the screen, and it tells me, oh, 42. I'm like, okay, sick.

[Stugotz]

All right, do you guys. If you had the choice to choose electronic scoring or writing it down on your own? Because I've had this conversation with Greg. Cody. No, your dad likes to write it down. Chris. He.

[Greg Cody]

You guys are old.

[Mike Ryan]

No, no, you need the. The electronic scoring because you get the turkey. Animation. Animations.

[Greg Cody]

Yeah.

[Israel Gutierrez]

How do you know if you did something good without the animation?

[Mike Ryan]

Yeah, me, the turkey.

[Greg Cody]

The animations are the greatest part about bowling. You have, like, the JFK one where he's, like, in the book depository.

[Dan Le Batard]

And then it's like.

[Greg Cody]

And then the pin explodes.

[Israel Gutierrez]

That's definitely your bowling alley.

[Greg Cody]

You guys didn't see that one?

[Mike Ryan]

The JFK one? No, that's a. That's probably the deep red one.

[Stugotz]

Who the fuck wants to bowl with Zaslow if he's taking this long to add up the numbers?

[Chris Cote]

Working on that.

[Dan Le Batard]

Okay, I think I have the score.

[Israel Gutierrez]

Yeah, that. That's exactly what we said.

[Dan Le Batard]

I noticed you were done a. Since I've done this. Okay.

[Stugotz]

He was so confident.

[Dan Le Batard]

Again. Strike. Strike. Spare. Four three.

[Stugotz]

Four, three.

[Dan Le Batard]

I think at the end of that fourth frame, you have 71.

[Mike Ryan]

Damn.

[Israel Gutierrez]

I don't think that's anywhere close.

[Dan Le Batard]

It's definitely close. If it's not 100% spot on, I don't know. But nobody here is able to correct me.

[Mike Ryan]

I have no idea how to check you on this.

[Dan Le Batard]

I think it's 71.

[Chris Cote]

I'm being. AI is telling me it's 57.

[Israel Gutierrez]

Yeah, I think it's 57.

[Chris Cote]

I just put in, like, bowling score.

[Dan Le Batard]

Strike.

[Chris Cote]

Strike. Spare seven.

[Dan Le Batard]

And it's. Where did I mess up?

[Greg Cody]

When did you put four, three?

[Chris Cote]

Oh, I didn't put four three. Yeah, I don't think that really matters.

[Stugotz]

Right? Yeah, I think that's four onto the spare.

[Israel Gutierrez]

Right?

[Stugotz]

Yeah. All right. I'm telling you, that's 14 onto 7.

[Israel Gutierrez]

Which ends in a 1. So I think Zaz is closer to.

[Dan Le Batard]

Right.

[Israel Gutierrez]

But the 70s.

[Dan Le Batard]

Actually, I think it might be 61. It might be better. So I think I fixed it.

[Mike Ryan]

Just do the turkey dance.

[Dan Le Batard]

I think it's 61.

[Mike Ryan]

Let's do the turkey dance, and let's move on.

[Dan Le Batard]

So.

[Stugotz]

Thank you, Izzy.

[Dan Le Batard]

Harder to do these days. Keep score for bowling by hand or keep a box at a baseball game. Can you. Can you do a box? Put it right in front of you right now. Stugots, you went to the Marlins game, and you sit there with a box. Would you be able to keep score?

[Stugotz]

No.

[Dan Le Batard]

Really?

[Stugotz]

Probably not.

[Mike Ryan]

I would be able to, but I'd probably fall asleep in the middle.

[Stugotz]

Do I have to stay for the whole game?

[Mike Ryan]

Yeah. Don't make me do that. If I have to, say for nine innings, no deal.

[Chris Cote]

If you look up the. They're looking at it on the computer.

[Greg Cody]

Okay.

[Dan Le Batard]

Video calculated it, and what do they have?

[Chris Cote]

I, you know, says 69. Nice.

[Stugotz]

Yeah. All right.

[Dan Le Batard]

69. All right.

[Israel Gutierrez]

Did you accidentally do this one where the score gets you 69?

[Stugotz]

Yeah, I did.

[Greg Cody]

You're that much of a mathematical genius, and off the top of your head? He went 69 with. What was it? Strike. Strike. Spare. Seven.

[Stugotz]

Yeah. Four three. Yes.

[Chris Cote]

Seventy.

[Dan Le Batard]

Oh, so I was so close.

[Chris Cote]

If you got a nine. If it's strike, strike. Nine. Spare. Four three.

[Israel Gutierrez]

Seventy.

[Dan Le Batard]

Oh, all right. All right, Zaz. Okay.

[Chris Cote]

Wrong.

[Dan Le Batard]

What do you mean? Okay.

[Israel Gutierrez]

I don't think the computer's right either.

[Dan Le Batard]

How dare you doubt computer actors?

[Israel Gutierrez]

I'm pretty sure he put in the same numbers twice, and it came up with two different hands.

[Chris Cote]

Because it matters what you got on the spare. If you got a seven spare or nine spares.

[Dan Le Batard]

And what the first and the four three roll was.

[Stugotz]

Yeah, the four three after two strikes at a spare.

[Dan Le Batard]

Wow, you are drunk. So, Chris, on. On, like, a regular night, like last night, bowling, you go out there. What's. What's an average score for you?

[Chris Cote]

I average, I believe 180. My first game, I got my first game, I got a 216. My second game, I got a 177. You know, we started going this way. The beers were flowing.

[Stugotz]

Right.

[Chris Cote]

And the third, I usually actually. Because it keeps track of your averages through the whole season, I generally go up, like, my third game, which is surprising. You think as the.

[Stugotz]

The drunk or you get. Right, Right.

[Chris Cote]

But apparently, like, kind of like golf, I get a little better as the night goes on. But, yeah, I had a good night last night.

[Dan Le Batard]

St. You just showed up tonight to a bowling alley. You roll. What one Say roll. That's. That's bowling parlance.

[Stugotz]

You got to roll.

[Dan Le Batard]

I want to be inclusive, you know?

[Stugotz]

Right. I would say like a 150, tops. Not bad. Right?

[Dan Le Batard]

That's like what I would do if I just showed up to. I gave 150.

[Chris Cote]

That's what everyone says. They would bowl.

[Israel Gutierrez]

I don't.

[Chris Cote]

I'm not saying you wouldn't, but that's.

[Dan Le Batard]

Just what you say, Tony, you show.

[Greg Cody]

Up snooty boulder right here. By the way, did you feel it? Did you hear that? He's like, yeah, I bowled to something. Yeah, 180. That's what they say.

[Dan Le Batard]

That's what they say.

[Stugotz]

Do you have a handicap or.

[Dan Le Batard]

Yeah, you do.

[Chris Cote]

I. I average. Like, I had get 54 pins. So the average is to 230. So what's 230 minus 54? That's my average.

[Dan Le Batard]

176.

[Chris Cote]

That's my average.

[Dan Le Batard]

Tony, you showed up tonight. No bumpers.

[Greg Cody]

No bumpers. Bumpers. I'm in the 150s for sure.

[Dan Le Batard]

Yes. It's so much higher.

[Greg Cody]

No bumpers. I'm bowling.

[Dan Le Batard]

Like, the thing is, you got to.

[Stugotz]

Be in the twos.

[Greg Cody]

I mean, no bumpers are bullet 150. No bumpers. I'm bowling like a 96.

[Mike Ryan]

Oh, 96.

[Dan Le Batard]

Yeah.

[Mike Ryan]

At your bowling alley, you get a nice little animation of Tom Hanks human trafficking kids in an Amway cabinet. It's pins, though, specifically.

[Greg Cody]

I don't know what the kids situation is. It's pins. Remember, it's a bowling alley, Mike.

[Dan Le Batard]

You show up tonight, we're bowling.

[Mike Ryan]

I don't do bowling.

[Stugotz]

Oh, wow.

[Dan Le Batard]

Too cool for that.

[Israel Gutierrez]

Israel, did you say bowling parlance?

[Stugotz]

Yeah, yeah.

[Dan Le Batard]

It's like language.

[Israel Gutierrez]

You just dropping words on stugats like that and you expect everybody to just know what you're doing. Saying like, that's a Dan word.

[Stugotz]

Yeah. If I've ever heard one.

[Israel Gutierrez]

The answer is 140.

[Greg Cody]

All right, with bumpers or no bumpers?

[Israel Gutierrez]

No bumpers. Second game, two beers in what a first game is going to be?

[Chris Cote]

Bumpers.

[Greg Cody]

The bumpers are fun. If you're an adult, you play bumpers game. It's fun.

[Stugotz]

I know, but if you have bumpers, Tony, you should be in the 2002, don't you think?

[Mike Ryan]

Very true. Yeah, very true.

[Stugotz]

They have a gutterball.

[Dan Le Batard]

Yeah.

[Greg Cody]

But you can get like the last little corner, you can hit a one and you're like, ah, come on.

[Dan Le Batard]

So, Israel, before we get into the.

[Israel Gutierrez]

Really important stuff, maybe 160 if I'm feeling really good.

[Dan Le Batard]

All right.

[Israel Gutierrez]

I don't do the curve throw thing. I do the straight throw thing.

[Greg Cody]

The curve throw thing is bad for your elbow. Have you tried to like, really curve it, like, hurts.

[Chris Cote]

Your guys sound like, let's make some bowlers or let's.

[Mike Ryan]

Let's say we're going to make content and not actually make the content, but we should do a bowling thing, huh?

[Dan Le Batard]

So, Israel, you weren't here yesterday. Any observations?

[Israel Gutierrez]

Are you asking or telling?

[Dan Le Batard]

Kind of both. Any observations from yesterday's show? You got any beef with yesterday's program?

[Israel Gutierrez]

I don't know if it was necessarily a beef. It was funny to me that Greg Cody figured out that his testicles are two different sizes after he got hit in them with a tennis ball. That's when he realized, oh, one one's a little lower than the other one. And I'm pretty sure that's everybody's. Unless you've got some weird stuff going on.

[Dan Le Batard]

Did you know that, Stugots?

[Stugotz]

I did, yes. I've looked at my balls before.

[Israel Gutierrez]

Have you looked at Great Cody's?

[Stugotz]

I haven't.

[Dan Le Batard]

What else you got from yesterday, Israel?

[Israel Gutierrez]

From yesterday in particular, not a whole lot, to be honest, because I did have a question for Mike and it had nothing to do with yesterday's show.

[Mike Ryan]

Over easy.

[Chris Cote]

I'm an over medium guy.

[Greg Cody]

Sunny side up.

[Mike Ryan]

Sunny side up too. I like a runny egg.

[Stugotz]

I like Dan.

[Chris Cote]

I used to like the runny egg. I like a congealed egg.

[Israel Gutierrez]

Can somebody tell me the difference between over easy and sunny side up?

[Mike Ryan]

Yes, yes. You flip it over real quick so there's like, you still keep the consistency of the yolk, but it has a little over thicker over the top.

[Chris Cote]

Sunny side up never flipped. Yeah, Sunny side up is just.

[Israel Gutierrez]

Is it sunny side up that has more likely some uncooked whites around it perhaps?

[Dan Le Batard]

Yes. It could be a little snotty.

[Israel Gutierrez]

There needs to be somewhere in between a little snotty and over medium because it's never over medium. It's always works into.

[Chris Cote]

I'll make it nice over medium.

[Mike Ryan]

You're Dominican, right? You do the Dominican eggs.

[Israel Gutierrez]

Which one is that?

[Mike Ryan]

You don't know the Dominican eggs where you get like the corn oil and you just basically fry them to the crisp.

[Israel Gutierrez]

I was going to say every egg I've ever eaten growing up was ridiculously overcooked. And I didn't know what an actually properly cooked egg tastes like until I was maybe 35.

[Mike Ryan]

That's a. That's a Dominican egg.

[Israel Gutierrez]

Yeah. But that was not my question.

[Mike Ryan]

Howdy, everybody. It's Mike Ryan and we're starting to see stock footage of sprinklers spraying over football fields. That means two things. Summer is almost over and football is almost here. So let's make the most of your summertime by making it a Miller time. Haven't you shared some moments this summer that you wish lasted forever? I know I have, especially around the hockey team. But right there by my side were my friends, family, and an ice cold can of Miller Lite. That's right. Miller Lite has been making superlative summertime memories for 50 years. That's right. It's our 50th anniversary. So whether it's a long weekend coming up or a full on vacation, just know it's the perfect time to get your crew back together and go to the beer. That's been your go to way to stock the cooler and celebrate great moments. That's right. I'm talking about Miller Lite. Brewed for flavor with simple ingredients like malted barley, it delivers that rich, balanced toffee flavor and golden color that just hits different Miller Lite. Great taste. 96 calories. Go to millerlight.com dan to find delivery options near you. Or you can pick up some Miller Lite pretty much anywhere they sell beer. Cheers to 50 years of Miller time. Celebrate responsibly. Miller Brewing Co. Milwaukee, Wisconsin 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces. You start off thinking your little day to day purchases don't mean much. A coffee here, takeout there. No big deal. Until one day your credit score is out here looking like a struggling batting average. The Mendoza Line that's why something like Chime makes sense. If you're trying to get your credit together without dropping through hoops. Head to chime.com dan with the Chime Credit Builder Secured Visa credit card. Folks can build credit using money they already have. No credit check, no annual fees, no interest. Just regular spending and on time payments. Simple as that. And it's not just a card. You also get credit tracking tools, personalized tips, and automatic credit reporting to help you stay on top of it without overthinking everything. If I had something like this earlier, let's just say things might have looked a little cleaner on paper. Make everyday purchases count with Chime's Secured Credit Builder Visa Credit Card get started [e-mail] Dan Chime feels like progress.

[Israel Gutierrez]

The Chime Credit Builder Visa credit card is issued by the bank, corporate bank and a or stripe bank and a Chime checking account required to apply. Money added to Credit Builder will be held in your secured deposit account as collateral and is your Credit Builder cards available to spend amount?

[Mike Ryan]

This is money you can use to.

[Israel Gutierrez]

Pay off your monthly charges out of network, ATM withdrawal and oc. Advance fees may apply. Late payment may negatively impact your credit score. Results may vary. Go to chime.com disclosures for details.

[Roy Bellamy]

I'm just trying to live up to be the version of me my dogs think I am. Don't be an Izzy. They assume I've got it all together. Meanwhile, I'm googling can dogs eat watermelon? And realizing, hey, we're out of food and I forgot the flea meds. Total chaos. But Chewy had both delivered fast. Now they're well fed, itch free, and still convinced I'm a responsible adult. Chewy makes it super easy to get everything your pets need. Food, treats, meds, even toys shipped right to your door in one to two days. They've got vet visits, pet insurance, and even in person clinics popping up. Oh, and fleas. Yeah, summer's peak season, even for indoor pets. Chewy's got vet recommended treatments to help protect the Dopey and Izzy or whoever's running your house. And here's my favorite feature. Auto Ship. It keeps the essentials coming. And if you're running out of food faster this month than last month, just change the date of arrival. They got you covered. No days with no food, plus 24. 7 customer support. And if something's not right, send it back, no questions asked. Chewy has everything you need to keep your pet happy and healthy. And right now, you can save $20 on your first order and get free shipping by going to chewy.com that's chewy.com dan to save $20 on your first order with free shipping. Chewy.com dan minimum purchase required. New customers only. Terms and conditions apply.

[Dan Le Batard]

C Site for complete details Don Le Cheaters never prosper. St. This is the Dan Levatar show with the st.

[Chris Cote]

I like the ramen egg.

[Mike Ryan]

What could it possibly be?

[Chris Cote]

You know that ramen egg where it's like, cut in half?

[Greg Cody]

Soft boiled egg is what you like?

[Dan Le Batard]

Yeah, that's the good stuff right there.

[Israel Gutierrez]

So I was in a publix the other day, and I was jamming out and I was like, wow, this song is definitely a potential CVS and Walgreens song. But for the entirety of my life, I've had no idea what this dude is saying in this song. And I wanted to take it back to, like, you know, the 1990s, where I couldn't just ask my telephone and. And I said, I'm going to wait and ask Mike this question because I'm pretty sure he knows the answer.

[Dan Le Batard]

Flattered.

[Israel Gutierrez]

Okay, you ready for the song?

[Mike Ryan]

Yes.

[Israel Gutierrez]

It goes like this.

[Chris Cote]

Mumble it through.

[Israel Gutierrez]

The road that I once traveled.

[Mike Ryan]

Oh, it's a kid.

[Israel Gutierrez]

What the hell does he say right there?

[Dan Le Batard]

That I must travel to the darkness.

[Mike Ryan]

Is that Men at work?

[Israel Gutierrez]

I think it's Mr. Mister. Okay, if I'm. If I'm correct.

[Mike Ryan]

Yeah.

[Israel Gutierrez]

No, no, no. One of the band names I have, they're Australian.

[Mike Ryan]

Either way, is it a Kerry Erie him?

[Israel Gutierrez]

I don't know. Is that English?

[Dan Le Batard]

Kiriyuri is Kiryri. What? Oh, no. Kiry is a road.

[Mike Ryan]

I googled it. Kyrie Irving came up. But either way, also Australian crazy. Maybe they were just foretelling. Kyrie.

[Israel Gutierrez]

We are living in a projection, and this is just like a cycle. But no, I have no idea what that person says. I swore that I would throw that out there and. And Mike would just be on it. But this might be one of the greatest mysteries of our time.

[Mike Ryan]

So it's. I Guess it's a name because it's Kiri Ellison. Kiri Elison. And then it goes Kiri Eli. Like it just cuts it off.

[Stugotz]

What's the Elison, though?

[Mike Ryan]

Let me find out.

[Dan Le Batard]

Who's this Kiri Elison?

[Stugotz]

That's what it is.

[Mike Ryan]

I don't think it's a name because the Ian Ellison is lowercase. It's a Greek phrase meaning Lord have mercy.

[Stugotz]

Wow. Huh.

[Israel Gutierrez]

So the Australians singing in English used a Greek phrase saying lot of mercy.

[Mike Ryan]

Well, let me confirm the darkness of the night.

[Stugotz]

Yes. Right.

[Mike Ryan]

Let me confirm that Mr. Mr. Is Australian. They are not.

[Stugotz]

So from Ohio.

[Greg Cody]

Yeah, Delaware, like Dante DiVincenzo.

[Mike Ryan]

No, they're from Phoenix, which is way different.

[Israel Gutierrez]

Kyrie has never played in Phoenix. What is this?

[Mike Ryan]

I really did confuse him with men at work who may also may not be Australian. And they just saying I can. I came from a hand down under. And then I just never fact check it. I just assume that they're Australian.

[Stugotz]

You're saying it right.

[Mike Ryan]

No, but the Vegemite sandwich thing lyric is damning. Yeah. Mr.

[Israel Gutierrez]

That I was trapped. There's people in a. In supermarkets right now singing along and just going have no idea. And will. Will go to their deathbed not knowing what that song is. But damn it, it'll play at their funeral.

[Mike Ryan]

Well, in the very unlikely event that Mr. Mr. Isn't from Phoenix, Arizona, and they are actually from Australia, which they are not. There's a lot of Greek influence in Australia. Nick Kyrios, for example.

[Israel Gutierrez]

I think in this country, they're going to have to change their name soon.

[Stugotz]

Yeah. Izzy, that song's a bit upbeat for a funeral, don't you think? I mean.

[Israel Gutierrez]

I mean, it's a celebration of life.

[Chris Cote]

Whatever.

[Dan Le Batard]

Roy, good morning. You all right?

[Mike Ryan]

I had to drop off clear to school.

[Stugotz]

First day of school.

[Dan Le Batard]

School traffic kind of school is bad.

[Israel Gutierrez]

That is quite the transformations as I had no idea he was there. I was looking to my right. I was expecting to see Chris. And I see Roy. That is jarring.

[Dan Le Batard]

Very sneaky. All right. Good to have you here, Roy.

[Israel Gutierrez]

Thank you.

[Dan Le Batard]

So I don't know if you saw.

[Israel Gutierrez]

Yesterday, hey, back row Chris, how are you?

[Dan Le Batard]

But the Miami Dolphins, that's our local football team.

[Stugotz]

Law.

[Dan Le Batard]

Local professional football team. And they are in Detroit right now because they have a preseason game this weekend at the Lions, but they've been in Detroit for the last couple of days because.

[Israel Gutierrez]

Did you say Lions?

[Dan Le Batard]

They're doing joint practices with the Detroit Lions. I do think, by the way, we're going to get to a place where there's going to be maybe one preseason game and teams are just going to schedule joint practices. I think coaches would rather join practices than preseason games because the joint practices, like, it's a controlled environment. Like, hey, I want to. I want to practice red zone. Like, are you okay with that? I want to do this. I want to do this. And in preseason, like, anything can happen. I think. I think if you polled NFL coaches, you guys, they would tell you, we would rather do away with preseason and just do joint practices, all of the preseason games.

[Stugotz]

I think coaches are such creatures of habit that they feel like they need a couple of games to get their team kind of organized and ready.

[Dan Le Batard]

Why doesn't college football. I mean, Texas is playing Ohio State Week 1, and so here we are.

[Stugotz]

It's a great question. I don't have the answer for you. Perhaps they're not allowed to do it in college football. College to play preseason games. I have no idea.

[Dan Le Batard]

No, they're probably not. But the point being, the college where a regular season loss is so much more damaging than in the NFL.

[Stugotz]

Yeah.

[Dan Le Batard]

They get right out there and they play and. And they don't always play. You know, school for the blind in week one. Right. They're playing a massive game. Right.

[Stugotz]

But for the most part, when the NFL guys get out there, Week 1, for the most part, that's the first time they're seeing the field. I'm not saying that's the case for everyone. Joe Burrow obviously saw the field week one preseason. But for the most part, I think the preseason is to figure out who's going to be those final guys on the roster.

[Dan Le Batard]

Right? Yep.

[Stugotz]

So I think, therefore, it has a value to coaches. You want to see them play in the game. Says you do.

[Dan Le Batard]

So, Israel, you are our main Lions. Detroit Lions.

[Greg Cody]

That's just world's number one.

[Israel Gutierrez]

Thank you.

[Chris Cote]

We're enjoying this hypothetical matchup against blind you.

[Dan Le Batard]

How do you think I would go? It's just.

[Chris Cote]

I mean, I love the visual.

[Dan Le Batard]

Like, hot.

[Chris Cote]

No, this way.

[Israel Gutierrez]

Watch the ball. I mean, damn it, it's over your head.

[Dan Le Batard]

What are you laughing at, Stugots?

[Stugotz]

Blind you.

[Dan Le Batard]

Israel, did you see all the reports around the team that you covered the Detroit Lions yesterday with their joint practice with the Miami Dolphins?

[Israel Gutierrez]

Hit it, Roy. Thank you.

[Mike Ryan]

I did already.

[Chris Cote]

All right, go ahead.

[Dan Le Batard]

It's.

[Israel Gutierrez]

Turn my headphones up. Thank you.

[Greg Cody]

Oh, it's Honolulu themed.

[Israel Gutierrez]

Wait for it. There's the lion. He's chilling, though. He's not a crazy lion. Yes. This is the part where My worlds collide here as my expertise on the Detroit Lions. Growing expertise. I don't want anybody to challenge me at all. Okay? It's a growing expertise. Honolulu Blue. Although the wardrobe getting a little limited right now. I had to wear a Honolulu Blue with a bit of a graphic on it today. Who knows what's coming tomorrow? I don't know. But yes, my worlds are colliding here. The reason I got on this Detroit Lions beat was because my Dolphins fandom had just fallen off of a cliff because they're regularly mediocre and this season gave me no hope. Now they have this joint practice and what I have confirmed, everyone, the Dolphins are going to be awful this year. Just terrible. The Detroit Lions went into this joint practice saying, we don't know what our problem is. Our offense sucks. Our defense is pretty good, but our offense is terrible. We need something to make us feel better about ourselves. And they got it. Because the Dolphins came into town and granted Tyree Kill wasn't there or didn't play. Jalen Waddle was limited. They didn't have the right tackle, but they got eaten alive to a point where the Detroit Lions now feel good about themselves. No longer worried about their.

[Dan Le Batard]

Yeah, like so, so the Detroit media who, who are there, they're getting their first look obviously at the Dolphins so far this season. Stugots. And you should see some of these tweets that were coming out of that practice yesterday from what I assume is. Is Lions media. Okay. I mean, all right, so. So take for instance this one. This is Nick Baumgartner. I don't know that fool, but he, he covers, you know, the Lions. All right. Lions just out everything The Dolphins for two hours. Never good as lopsided a joint NFL player practice as I've ever seen.

[Stugotz]

Congratulations to the Lions for winning practice. I mean, who cares?

[Israel Gutierrez]

They didn't just win practice, they won like by 70 points. Here's some more details. Safety Brian Branch. You ever heard of Brian Branch?

[Dan Le Batard]

I don't know that fool.

[Israel Gutierrez]

He forced incompletions on all three repetitions he took during one on one drills, locking up Todd Washington twice. There goes the Taj Washington hope. And also bumping Eric as Ukanma.

[Dan Le Batard]

Yeah. Receiver as opposed.

[Israel Gutierrez]

In the first seven on seven period, the Lions foiled five straight plays. Five straight. Okay. DJ TJ Tongue of a loa looked terrible. Zach Wilson looked even worse throwing an interception on his first pass. It was a disgusting display for the Miami Dolphins and made me sort of feel way better about my choice to be a Lions guy this year.

[Greg Cody]

Izzy, I will tell you one thing. Brian Branch, good player.

[Dan Le Batard]

Oh, okay.

[Chris Cote]

There's a chance Nick Baumgartner hasn't seen a lot of joint practices, right?

[Stugotz]

Yeah.

[Chris Cote]

You know, he says the craziest he's ever seen. Maybe he's only seen a couple.

[Stugotz]

In fairness to the Dolphins, the team you don't want to play in practice is. Is Dan Campbell and the Lions, right?

[Israel Gutierrez]

Well, they did. They do have Aiden Hutchinson and he did.

[Stugotz]

Yeah, but they practice hard. There's no plays off for anyone so hard.

[Dan Le Batard]

Well, if you looked at those two coaches, dan Campbell, Mike McDaniel. Which team? Team practices really hard to get a fair observation.

[Israel Gutierrez]

Isn't that the problem with the Dolphins? Like, they're considered to be soft. So you would want in these joint practices to show that you're not soft.

[Dan Le Batard]

Well, you had one of the players from the Lions, defensive tackle, I forget his name. And he said, I don't think they practice the way they. The way we do. Like, that's what he said after. Yes. All right, let me.

[Stugotz]

Well, no one does.

[Dan Le Batard]

Let me read you a few more of these tweets from again, Detroit media. Who's there seeing the Dolphins? All right, this. This is Colton pouncing out. I don't know that fool, but he's there in Detroit. That was the most lopsided joint practice. Not the same tweet. That was the most lopsided joint practice I've ever seen. Lions dominated both sides. So now you got a couple that are saying the same thing. Now, you know, I've never been around Detroit media. I don't think they all get together and decide, hey, we should all tweet this. These people are watching it like, all right, so let me. Let's. Let's see another one here. Okay, so again, this is also from a Detroit media member. This guy is called Mike Peyton. Oh, my. I don't know that fool. Either the Dolphins are really bad or the Lions are just a juggernaut. Not a great day for Miami Stugots.

[Israel Gutierrez]

You know, one of the things that really annoyed me with the Dolphins is their play calling on goal line plays, like short plays are always trying this misdirection nonsense. Never really fooling anybody. Very rarely executing. Here's over an eight play stretch during a red zone situational period. The Dolphins first team gained little traction despite trying to sow confusion with misdirection tactics. Several runs went for minimal gains. So basically trying the same shit and not being tough.

[Stugotz]

Again, you don't want to show him too Much, Izzy. I mean, it's preseason, it's practice, you know, I mean, if you weren't trying.

[Israel Gutierrez]

To show him too much, you would run that bitch right up the middle instead of all this nonsense.

[Greg Cody]

He's right about that. He is right about that.

[Dan Le Batard]

Let me read you one more here. All right? So again, this is from Colton Pouncy. Now the only reason I know this is because I already saw a tweet from him. Otherwise, I don't know. That fool Dolphins offense just ran 16 or so plays in the red zone versus the Lions. Didn't score until the final play between second units. Miami's first team offense didn't score in the seven to eight plays versus Detroit's first team defense. It was ugly. Lions died. Is having a day.

[Chris Cote]

I mean, was it seven or eight plays? I mean, geez, are you watching this.

[Israel Gutierrez]

Practice right in the punts?

[Chris Cote]

How do you not know?

[Dan Le Batard]

Now we were hearing the same kind of stuff last week when they were doing the joint practice with the Bears. And I understand, like Mike McDaniel after the practice, like, you know, Detroit players are saying they don't think that you guys know how to practice. They don't practice the same way. And Mike McDaniel chalks it up to the whole, you know, there's, there's a lot of noise and that's all it is. Just, it's just noise around us. But man, like we're going into a season. You got these two joint practices where it seems like the other team kind of thinks you're a joke. You got Jalen Ramsey out there talking about no one respects the head coach. The major buzzword around the Dolphins right now is culture and of course coming and, and by the way, you got the Tyree kill situation. I don't know, man. Like, it's a lot of things that are out there right now, right. That would signal the Dolphins might be sneaky, terrible team this year.

[Israel Gutierrez]

I don't think it's sneaky at all. Amanra St Brown said that the quote, white elephant in the room was that their offense had been terrible all the way up to Detroit practices. Detroit's offense had been terrible all the way up to these practices until they.

[Stugotz]

Saw the Dolphins defense and now they're.

[Israel Gutierrez]

Totally comfortable, they're fine with their offense. My question there being is, is he conflating two different phrases? The white elephant in the room, isn't it, Isn't that a game?

[Stugotz]

It's just an elephant.

[Mike Ryan]

Yeah. The white elephant in the room is a nice little present.

[Stugotz]

Who knows?

[Mike Ryan]

It's a mystery.

[Israel Gutierrez]

Right? So it's confusing, but I'm pretty sure we know he's basically saying the dolphin.

[Dan Le Batard]

Isn'T white elephant, like Yankee swap for, you know, Christmas.

[Israel Gutierrez]

Right?

[Dan Le Batard]

Yeah, yeah, That's a fun game.

[Israel Gutierrez]

That's what they call it in Tony's house. Yankee swap.

[Greg Cody]

Are you concerned about Don Carter's in Kendall? Rest in peace. By the way, I have the. The animation that I was talking about that they played at Don Carter's.

[Mike Ryan]

You guys have to see this. I know, I know. Ask a question. But for a moment, let's. Let's pause this.

[Greg Cody]

This was Don Carter's circa 21998 ish. That you would bowl a strike and this would happen.

[Dan Le Batard]

Oh, yes, The. The video Tron, which. Oh, okay. So it's. Oh, my God.

[Stugotz]

Wow. They put a face on the bowling pin.

[Greg Cody]

The pin is JFK and Jackie O. Yeah.

[Dan Le Batard]

In the back of the Cadillac.

[Greg Cody]

And then guess what? Thumbs up. You got a strike, baby.

[Dan Le Batard]

Nailed it. The Terminator soon.

[Stugotz]

What?

[Greg Cody]

So I remember seeing that in my childhood, being like, yeah, okay, cool.

[Dan Le Batard]

That is crazy.

[Israel Gutierrez]

And you see how they made the shooter blue.

[Dan Le Batard]

All right, so again, because this is, you know, for some people, it's not a visual medium, the Ebola strike. And like a cool video comes on the screen, makes you excited for your great accomplishments. And they show a cartoon. It's a blue circle, you know, sticking kind of guy, smiley face.

[Greg Cody]

It's a bowling ball. Yeah, that's why it's.

[Dan Le Batard]

Yes, it's a bowling ball guy.

[Israel Gutierrez]

Yeah. The eyes are holes.

[Dan Le Batard]

And he's a sniper. He's in a building and he's peering out the window. And with his sniper gun, he shoots and kills. JFK.

[Stugotz]

Just has his face on it.

[Dan Le Batard]

It has JFK's face on the bowling pin.

[Israel Gutierrez]

And then just to make it worse, they take the X, which is the sign for the strike, and. And they crush something, and they call it the exterminator. That's effed up.

[Dan Le Batard]

That's crazy.

[Greg Cody]

Don Carter's early 90s. You had to be there.

[Stugotz]

Wow.

[Chris Cote]

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[Israel Gutierrez]

Freedom to do what you love and choose your rewards. With Zinn Rewards, you can redeem points for premium tech outdoor gear and gift.

[Chris Cote]

Cards to your favorite retailers. Find your Zin and keep finding rewards that fit your [e-mail] rewards.

[Dan Le Batard]

Warning.

[Chris Cote]

This product contains nicotine. Nicotine is an addictive chemical.

[Greg Cody]

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[Dan Le Batard]

Gambling problem. Call 1-800-GAMBLER in New York, call 877-8-HOPENY.

[Israel Gutierrez]

Or text HOPENY at 467-369 in Connecticut.

[Dan Le Batard]

Help is available for problem gambling.

[Israel Gutierrez]

Call 888-78-9777 or visit ccpg.org Please play.

[Dan Le Batard]

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[Israel Gutierrez]

Age and eligibility varies by jurisdiction. Void. In Ontario, bonus bets expire seven days after issuance. For additional terms and responsible gaming resources, see DKNG Co audio. The Disney Plus Hulu HBO Max bundle.

[Dan Le Batard]

Plant starting at just 16.99amonth.

[Mike Ryan]

No one will ever break us apart.

[Greg Cody]

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[Mike Ryan]

You can't escape the past.

[Israel Gutierrez]

Alien Earth on Hulu, this Ship Collected.

[Dan Le Batard]

Monsters and Final Destination Bloodlines on HBO Max. Death is coming for our family.

[Greg Cody]

The Disney Hulu HBO Max Bundle plans starting at 16.99amonth.

[Dan Le Batard]

All these and more streaming soon.

[Greg Cody]

Visit Disney/Hulu HBOMaxBundle.com for details.

[Dan Le Batard]

Don LeBatard all right, we gotta go back out there.

[Chris Cote]

That was big. Wake him up.

[Israel Gutierrez]

Uh oh, he doesn't want. He doesn't want to be bothered anymore. Now it's getting tense because he didn't need that. As a result, he needs something that happens.

[Chris Cote]

You can see mother, he says, can we bother? Are we bothering you right now?

[Israel Gutierrez]

Turn on your microphone.

[Stugotz]

My microphone's on st.

[Chris Cote]

Paint the scene.

[Stugotz]

The paint the scene is. I got to go to work. Good night. This is the D?

[Dan Le Batard]

Ler show with the stuff. Stots. You asked me, am I concerned about the Dolphins because of practice? No, I'm not concerned about the Dolphins because of practice. I'm concerned about the Dolphins because of all the things that I just laid out to you, like for inst. Like Chris Greer is doing the thing again. You've noticed this, right? Where fans and media like Chris, if I were to ask you, what is the thing about the Dolphins personnel wise? What is the thing about the Dolphins that you are concerned most about right now going into this?

[Israel Gutierrez]

What's the white elephant in the room?

[Chris Cote]

Worst quarterback, I mean, cornerback room I've ever seen.

[Dan Le Batard]

Right. That's what the fans, the media are questioning right now is the cornerbacks and, you know, the secondary, minus Mika Fitzpatrick and Chris Greer is doing the thing again where it's. You all seem to be a lot more concerned about that than we are. And we did the exact same thing with the offensive line last year where he literally, in front of everybody, he laughed and said, you guys are a little bit more concerned about that than we are. And as we learned, there was reason to be concerned about it.

[Stugotz]

What would you like Chris Greer to say? We're not good at that position. I wasn't doing my job. No. He's going to say, I'm confident in the cornerbacks that we have.

[Israel Gutierrez]

Of course, don't put yourself in position to be caught. And just to be dead wrong midway through the season. Like, when all your fans are like, we told you the cornerback situation was going to be a problem and you're getting lit up for 400 passing yards every game, then what's he going to say at that point? You probably should be. Should say, hey, yeah, we're taking a chance some chances on some guys. We're trying just because obviously we don't have the big names that you're used to and then try to, you know, manage the situation if you're struggling. But right now saying, we're not worried about it the way you guys are, if you get lit up, you're fired.

[Chris Cote]

The Dolphins might be the first NFL team in history to not play a single play in man coverage all season. I think they're going to play zone defense the entire season. I'm telling you, dude, these cornerbacks. I could could be out there.

[Mike Ryan]

I don't think you could.

[Dan Le Batard]

I could.

[Stugotz]

You know, how's your backpedal? You're hurting for bowling.

[Dan Le Batard]

Okay, now, everything we just said about this joint practice yesterday, which, you know, people think the Dolphins were an abomination. Preseason game two this Saturday afternoon. Dolphins, Lions. Like, what if they play well? Like, what if the. Dolph, it's 2424 again, just like, it's a Bears. They look like shit. Against the bears. It was 2424. Like, what happens if. All right. They looked okay.

[Stugotz]

No, but that's my point. Like, you guys are down in the Dolphins because of a couple of lousy practices and reports from guys. Guys you've never heard of. And would you be surprised if the Dolphins go to Indianapolis and win in Week one? No.

[Dan Le Batard]

There's no way anyone would be surprised.

[Stugotz]

If the dolphins start 2.

[Dan Le Batard]

0.

[Stugotz]

You would not be surprised.

[Dan Le Batard]

Who's the second game?

[Stugotz]

Patriots at home. You wouldn't be surprised, Stu.

[Israel Gutierrez]

I would be surprised if Tua makes it through all the snaps in the first two games.

[Stugotz]

Right.

[Israel Gutierrez]

I would be shocked if he makes it through all the snaps through the entirety of the season.

[Dan Le Batard]

He played all 17 games two years ago.

[Israel Gutierrez]

He did two years ago. Right. So you're holding up one year out of how many this is. Okay, so the odds are in my favor. And if he doesn't play the entire season again, Your backup is a name that we recognize. Who has looked the worst of all the backups that we've seen in preseason?

[Dan Le Batard]

Get off my team.

[Israel Gutierrez]

And so what. What exactly are we to feel good about a miracle season? Maybe I guess that's what we have hope for.

[Greg Cody]

How could it be a miracle season if, you know, going into it, there's no reinforcements coming for the secondary?

[Israel Gutierrez]

I don't understand miracles. They just happen.

[Greg Cody]

Okay, touche.

[Stugotz]

That's.

[Greg Cody]

That's true. But your corners are weak, your safeties are okay. Minga, I guess, could be somewhat decent.

[Dan Le Batard]

No safety is an improvement. Javon Holland sucks, and Minka Fitzpatrick is good, so, okay, that's an improvement.

[Greg Cody]

He's on. On the kind of downturn of his.

[Dan Le Batard]

Career, so we could say same thing about Jalen Ramsey, though.

[Greg Cody]

Sure, sure. But your secondary is toast. There's nobody there, and it's like there's nobody else coming.

[Israel Gutierrez]

Well, I already lost your best corner for the season, by the way.

[Dan Le Batard]

You see Chop Robinson yesterday?

[Greg Cody]

He says he's fine.

[Dan Le Batard]

I don't know. Yes. I don't understand. If a cart comes out and takes you out, you better be on the verge of a leg amputation. You can't come back and say, it was my collarbone. All right? And all's good because he did. Like, he came back, he said everything's good, nothing serious. I went out on a cart.

[Chris Cote]

I texted my dolphin people. I'm like, no carts unless it's serious. And their reasoning, it's a far away. Like the practice field to where they're taking him. It's just like, what are you gonna make a guy with a hurt elbow walk 400 yards?

[Stugotz]

Does that change your opinion? I mean, they're wearing a bunch.

[Dan Le Batard]

Okay. But I want to know right away. I want someone to Tell me. I want it to be two golf carts.

[Chris Cote]

We need a golf cart for everything's okay. Golf cart. And a golf cart with like, whoa, this is not good.

[Stugotz]

Just need a ride. Golf cart and an injury golf. Right? Yes. Right. I like that.

[Chris Cote]

Like, they should decorate, like, man, I don't know. If you make it dark, like, put a siren on the important one. I don't know.

[Dan Le Batard]

What, like an ambulance? Yes.

[Chris Cote]

Two golf carts. A nothing's wrong golf cart.

[Stugotz]

Right.

[Chris Cote]

And a shit's hit the fan golf cart.

[Stugotz]

Like that.

[Dan Le Batard]

Unless anyone else has anything else on the Dolphins. I do want to get on to something that was pretty awesome last night.

[Israel Gutierrez]

Anybody have anything else on a terrible team?

[Stugotz]

No.

[Israel Gutierrez]

No, we're good.

[Mike Ryan]

All right, wait. One final point. The Cuban relationship with JFK is completely different than Americans.

[Israel Gutierrez]

Still.

[Greg Cody]

So you're saying a Cuban made that?

[Mike Ryan]

If that's playing a Don Carter, did.

[Dan Le Batard]

A Cuban own that? Don Carter is very Cuban.

[Israel Gutierrez]

So you think he took shots? Every time that one came up, it's like, oh, we both a strike.

[Dan Le Batard]

Are you ready?

[Israel Gutierrez]

Which one's it going to be? Ah, JFK dead again.

[Mike Ryan]

Just providing context of the nation.

[Dan Le Batard]

What year you think that was, Tony?

[Greg Cody]

I'm being told 95 in my ear. So around 98. 99. When I would be bowling as a kid, seven, eight, nine years old, that's. That's what I would see.

[Mike Ryan]

That's still feeling the residual effects of the. The bay of pigs.

[Israel Gutierrez]

30 years.

[Greg Cody]

That's nothing.

[Dan Le Batard]

What a time, man. Unbelievable.

[Israel Gutierrez]

What a terrible invasion.

[Dan Le Batard]

So last night, the. The Marlins wanted the guardians. Last night, who cares? Doesn't matter. Whatever, they're. They're. They're four games under.500. No big deal. But you see what this Jacob Marcy did last night?

[Stugotz]

No.

[Dan Le Batard]

So Jacob Marcy.

[Stugotz]

Who is Jacob Marcy?

[Dan Le Batard]

All right, that's. That's a fair question. Is Jacob Marcy. He was the. The prize prospect in last year's Luis Arise trade. Remember? We all freaked out real quick.

[Israel Gutierrez]

Who's Luis Arise?

[Dan Le Batard]

Oh, come on, get out of here.

[Mike Ryan]

Oh, you kidding?

[Dan Le Batard]

What are you doing doing, by the way?

[Israel Gutierrez]

Definitely people listening, asking the same damn question.

[Dan Le Batard]

Oh, come on. Terrible day, by the way, for Billy and Jeremy not to be here, though. But Jacob Marcy was the prize prospect they got in return. And he made his debut. It was. It was like a week and a half ago. He made his debut with the big league club and he. And he came right away, like, first game. He was great and he's been great. Last night he was 4 for 5 with two home runs and seven RBI in the Marlins 13. Four win.

[Israel Gutierrez]

When are they trading him?

[Dan Le Batard]

He has an OPS right now. Stu Gotz.

[Stugotz]

Yeah.

[Dan Le Batard]

You know what OPS is?

[Stugotz]

No.

[Dan Le Batard]

On base plus slugging.

[Israel Gutierrez]

That doesn't seem like enough letters, right? OPS for on base plus slugging. I feel like it needs one more.

[Dan Le Batard]

You want it to be an obps?

[Israel Gutierrez]

Yeah.

[Stugotz]

Yes.

[Dan Le Batard]

All right. I would have knew you could start that movement. He has an OPS of 1400 right now.

[Israel Gutierrez]

Is that a lot?

[Stugotz]

That's good.

[Dan Le Batard]

That's like Barry Bonds. All right.

[Stugotz]

It's better than Bonds, I think.

[Dan Le Batard]

I think it's better than Bonds. I mean, I don't, like. I don't know. Is that something to be super excited about? Like, is it possible they got one of these kids who is just going to be a superstar? Like, like, finally, did they trade a player for a prospect that is going to be like a serious dude?

[Chris Cote]

I'm not gonna. I'm gonna go more macro. Like, obviously, Marcy, we're gonna see what he turns out to be. But overall, it's seems like this Bendix guy knows that's the part. It just seems like guys that we've acquired are turning out to be decent, which is not something we're used to down here.

[Dan Le Batard]

And then I see, like, these highlights of, hey, look who we got, you know, in the minors right now. This pitcher and this. They're mowing people down. I don't know. Like, is Peter Bendix look like a dork when they signed him? You know, they brought him in. Like, I don't know. Maybe this guy knows what he's doing.

[Israel Gutierrez]

I'm glad you went to Chris for expertise on that because right before you started talking about. What's his name?

[Dan Le Batard]

The president of the team?

[Israel Gutierrez]

No, the player.

[Dan Le Batard]

Oh, Jacob. Marcy.

[Stugotz]

Yeah.

[Israel Gutierrez]

Chris called him Jacob Mars.

[Dan Le Batard]

I didn't.

[Stugotz]

Don't.

[Chris Cote]

Don't undercut me like that.

[Dan Le Batard]

Why is he saying you did.

[Israel Gutierrez]

Just didn't say it on air, but he said it.

[Chris Cote]

This is gross.

[Stugotz]

What's his ops?

[Dan Le Batard]

It's 1400.

[Stugotz]

All right. Bonds best season was 1422.

[Dan Le Batard]

That's crazy. I don't know. It feels like a little something to get excited about. A good player, it looks like.

[Israel Gutierrez]

I think he's got to keep it.

[Stugotz]

Up for a little while longer.

[Dan Le Batard]

I get it. I understand. How many games for the Marlin fan to be excited about something? Maybe like 10 games.

[Stugotz]

I mean, Bonds did it for a.

[Dan Le Batard]

Season and I understand. I get it. All right. And Barry Bonds, the greatest player I've ever seen.

[Stugotz]

But you're excited.

[Dan Le Batard]

I just, as someone who has not paid very much attention to the Marlins this year, I don't know, that's something I feel like that's kind of cool. That's kind of fun. All right, there you go. So, yeah, something to keep track of.

[Israel Gutierrez]

You know what? I'm going to back you up.

[Stugotz]

I'm not going to keep track.

[Israel Gutierrez]

I have not watched the Marlins in forever. For them to get me back is Tell me we got the next Barry Bond.

[Mike Ryan]

Howdy, everybody. It's Mike Ryan and we're starting to see stock footage of sprinklers spraying over football fields. That means two things. Summer is almost over and football is almost here. So let's make the most of your summertime by making it a Miller time. Haven't you shared some moments this summer that you wish lasted forever? I know I have, especially around the hockey team, but right there by my side for my friends, family and an ice cold can of Miller Lite. That's right. Miller Lite has been making superlative summertime memories for 50 years. That's right. It's our 50th anniversary. So whether it's a long weekend coming up or a full on vacation, just know it's the perfect time to get your crew back together and go to the beer that's been your go to way to stock the cooler and celebrate great moments. That's right. I'm talking about Miller Lite. Brewed for flavor with simple ingredients like malted barley, it delivers that rich, balanced toffee flavor and golden color that just hits different Miller Lite. Great taste. 96 calories. Go to millerlight.com dan to find delivery options near you. Or you can pick up some Miller Lite pretty much anywhere they sell beer. Cheers to 50 years of Miller time. Celebrate responsibly. Miller Brewing Co. Milwaukee, Wisconsin 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces.