The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz

Local Hour: Mike's Big Apology

Date: August 21, 2025
Location: The Elser Hotel, Downtown Miami
Hosts: Dan Le Batard, Stugotz
Panelists: Billy Gil, Mike Ryan, Zaslow, others

Main Theme / Purpose

The episode centers around the chaotic realities of Miami life as school resumes, family and parental challenges, uniquely South Florida sports controversies (especially Inter Miami and MLS drama), and the always-absurd, communal energy around fantasy football season. The group discusses personal anecdotes about parenting, traffic, office dynamics, and provides humorous takes on local sports stories. Mike Ryan delivers a "big apology" regarding a mistake about a college quarterback's background, and the show spotlights a uniquely Miami scandal involving Inter Miami’s ejected coach.

The tone is irreverent, conversational, and infused with South Florida flavor.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Miami Traffic Woes & Family Chaos

• South Florida Back-to-School Traffic:
  The group complains about the brutal traffic after schools reopen. Zaslow jokes about his newfound annoyance with schoolkids clogging roads ("I had no bad thoughts about children before traffic..." – Zaslow, [01:29]).
• Parenting & Teenagers:
  • Billy Gil and Zaslow detail losing control at home as teens gain independence. Billy’s kids are now driving themselves and "traffic kind of sucks...a little like Mad Max on 95 South" ([02:26]).
  • Dan and Zaslow debate who’s really in charge at home, as the younger generations challenge their authority—often humorously resigned to being the least-respected in their own homes.

“It's become their favorite pastime...shitting on me. That's what they do.”
—Billy Gil, [07:44]

• Father-son Physical Challenges:
  The crew reminisces about generational “I could still kick your ass” attitudes.

“My father still thinks he can kick my ass...Yeah, and he couldn't. I whooped that ass.”
—Dan Le Batard, [05:23]

2. Modern Parenting & Technology

• Spotify War Story:
  Billy hilariously describes fighting over Spotify in the car with his son, who’s remotely controlling the music from another location.

“So I text him, stop changing the channel. ...He writes back, ‘I was listening first, sugar tits.’”
—Billy Gil, [13:04], [13:34]

This leads to a wider discussion on how technology fuels new forms of parent-child friction and generational disconnect.

• Rules & Household Authority:
  The team explores cultural differences in discipline ("In Latin fatherhood...if you're living under my house, my rules, that's it" — Zaslow, [09:32]) and kids' ability to outsmart the system (with Airbnbs, VRBOs, etc).

3. Fantasy Football League Drama

• A sprawling, communal office fantasy league is introduced—leading to confusion about who’s actually participating, with Billy defending his non-involvement due to the oversized, chaotic league format and previous office scandals.

“I participated last year. I didn't know until I lost at the end of the season that everyone owed Mike Fuentes money because he made up a buy-in after he won the championship...”
—Billy Gil, [18:33]

• Notable Moment: Billy admits to rare "inter-league trading" (swapping players/info across different fantasy sports)—to the group’s mock amazement.

“I was a scoundrel. …It was me.”
—Billy Gil, [20:03]

4. Shohei Ohtani & Sports "Evil" Theories

• The panel debates Shohei Ohtani’s off-field controversies, juxtaposing his world-class talent with odd luck and mishaps (interpreter scandal, failed land deals).

“Shohei Ohtani, possibly evil.”
—Mike Ryan, [22:48]

They riff on whether his issues are evil, cursed, or just weird luck, and compare how public perception would be different if an American star like LeBron had similar associations.

5. Marlins, Messi, and Inter Miami’s Distinctly Miami Scandal

• Marlins' local relevance vs. Inter Miami/Messi Mania:
  The team discusses how local sports coverage shifts by season and why Inter Miami draws national and local attention.

• Cheating or Just Miami? Ejected Coach Controversy:
  In a “uniquely Miami” moment, Inter Miami’s coach is tossed from a match but continues to coach by phone from the stands—on camera and seemingly with impunity.

“Last night, in a distinctly Miami moment, Marciano gets ejected from the game... and he's clearly and obviously on the phone [still coaching].”
—Zaslow, [32:57]

• The broadcast jokes about how blatantly obvious the sideline communication is, likening it to Bobby Valentine’s infamous dugout disguise ([33:29]).
• Turns out, by League’s Cup regulations, this “cheating” is technically not prohibited.

“Cell phone communications are not prohibited per league's cup regulations...What kind of sham throws out a coach and he's then allowed to use technology and still coach the team?”
—Billy Gil, [35:13]

• Mixed Feelings on Inter Miami:
  • The group discusses whether the team's star power and rule-bending make them loveable or hateable.
  • Ticket sales, attendance, MLS playoff implications, and what “legacy” means for the franchise (Messi individually, and growing soccer in Miami).

6. Mike Ryan’s Big Apology: College Football Mistaken Identity

• Avery Johnson Confusion:
  Mike Ryan publicly apologizes: when analyzing Kansas State QB Avery Johnson, he incorrectly described him as white, only to learn Johnson is mixed race. He chalks it up to seeing him only with his helmet on, and thanks the few fans who pointed out his error.

“I want to apologize...I thought Avery Johnson was white.”
—Mike Ryan, [26:45]

The group finds humor in how such a non-story became an on-air apology, with Zaslow poking fun at the unnecessary controversy.

7. College Football Expectations & Cold Weather Lessons

• Discussion pivots to college football's upcoming season, the “30 good teams,” and personal anecdotes of unpreparedness as the ESPN crew travels to cold-weather games.

8. The Decline of Taxis & Overreliance on Phones

• Dan and Zaslow muse on the obsolescence of taxis in an Uber-dominated, phone-dependent world. Zaslow tells a story of being unable to explain "taxi" to a gas station worker in L.A., highlighting generational and linguistical disconnects.

“I'm trying to explain a taxi to a worker... this person doesn't know what I'm talking about.”
—Zaslow, [42:14]

9. Double Entendres & Lyrics as Life Philosophy

• The episode ends with a celebration of double entendres in lyrics, especially in Pitbull’s work, and a return to playful parent/child power struggles at home.

“As long as I can make you tap, I'm still in charge of this house.”
—Billy Gil, [44:14]

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments (w/ Timestamps)

• Zaslow on Miami traffic:
  "Now that they're fouling up my streets...with their learning they can just do on AI that they don't need to go anywhere to go learn." [01:29]

• Billy Gil on Dad Respect:
  "It's become their favorite pastime...just shitting on me." [07:44]

• Spotify Showdown:
  "I'm still in charge of the house. He writes back, 'Two more months, clock's ticking.'" [14:00]

• Mike Ryan’s Race Confusion Apology:
  "I want to apologize...I thought Avery Johnson was white." [26:45]

• On Inter Miami scandal:
  "Cell phone communications are not prohibited per league's cup regulations...What kind of sham throws out a coach and he's then allowed to use technology and still coach the team?" [35:13]

• Dan on Miami Coach Ejection:
  "It’s an overhang. Basically, he's on the bench." [35:50]

• Billy on Parenting:
  "As long as I can make you tap, I'm still in charge of this house." [44:14]

Important Segment Timestamps

• [01:29] - Miami back-to-school traffic complaints
• [04:38] - Father-son physical challenge banter
• [07:44] - Family teasing the dad
• [10:56] - The Spotify control war between Billy and his son
• [14:00] - "I'm still in charge" / "Two more months" exchange
• [18:33] - Office fantasy football league shenanigans (Billy’s “altruism”)
• [20:03] - Billy admits to inter-league trades: “I was a scoundrel”
• [22:48] - Shohei Ohtani possibly being evil
• [26:45] - Mike Ryan's apology for misidentifying Avery Johnson
• [32:57] - Inter Miami scandal—ejected coach still coaching by phone
• [35:13] - "Not prohibited" ruling by League's Cup; panel's incredulity
• [42:14] - Zaslow’s taxi story and the generational disconnect
• [44:14] - "As long as I can make you tap..." - Billy on family order

Overall Tone & Takeaways

• The episode is a signature blend of local South Florida ridiculousness, sports community in-jokes, office chaos, and real personal stories.
• It combines playful self-deprecation about parenthood/adulting with wry commentary on sports culture and the absurdity of modern life.
• Standout segments include the farcical Inter Miami coaching scandal, Mike Ryan’s humorous “big apology,” and the generational warfare in Billy’s household—offering something both for diehard sports fans and those who appreciate the lighter side of modern life.

Highly recommended for listeners who love their sports radio with a heavy dose of South Florida weirdness, humor, and genuine camaraderie.