Local Hour: Mike's Big Apology

Summary

The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz

Local Hour: Mike's Big Apology

Date: August 21, 2025
Location: The Elser Hotel, Downtown Miami
Hosts: Dan Le Batard, Stugotz
Panelists: Billy Gil, Mike Ryan, Zaslow, others

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Main Theme / Purpose

The episode centers around the chaotic realities of Miami life as school resumes, family and parental challenges, uniquely South Florida sports controversies (especially Inter Miami and MLS drama), and the always-absurd, communal energy around fantasy football season. The group discusses personal anecdotes about parenting, traffic, office dynamics, and provides humorous takes on local sports stories. Mike Ryan delivers a "big apology" regarding a mistake about a college quarterback's background, and the show spotlights a uniquely Miami scandal involving Inter Miami’s ejected coach.

The tone is irreverent, conversational, and infused with South Florida flavor.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Miami Traffic Woes & Family Chaos

• South Florida Back-to-School Traffic:
  The group complains about the brutal traffic after schools reopen. Zaslow jokes about his newfound annoyance with schoolkids clogging roads ("I had no bad thoughts about children before traffic..." – Zaslow, [01:29]).
• Parenting & Teenagers:
  • Billy Gil and Zaslow detail losing control at home as teens gain independence. Billy’s kids are now driving themselves and "traffic kind of sucks...a little like Mad Max on 95 South" ([02:26]).
  • Dan and Zaslow debate who’s really in charge at home, as the younger generations challenge their authority—often humorously resigned to being the least-respected in their own homes.

“It's become their favorite pastime...shitting on me. That's what they do.”
—Billy Gil, [07:44]

• Father-son Physical Challenges:
  The crew reminisces about generational “I could still kick your ass” attitudes.

“My father still thinks he can kick my ass...Yeah, and he couldn't. I whooped that ass.”
—Dan Le Batard, [05:23]

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2. Modern Parenting & Technology

• Spotify War Story:
  Billy hilariously describes fighting over Spotify in the car with his son, who’s remotely controlling the music from another location.

“So I text him, stop changing the channel. ...He writes back, ‘I was listening first, sugar tits.’”
—Billy Gil, [13:04], [13:34]

This leads to a wider discussion on how technology fuels new forms of parent-child friction and generational disconnect.

• Rules & Household Authority:
  The team explores cultural differences in discipline ("In Latin fatherhood...if you're living under my house, my rules, that's it" — Zaslow, [09:32]) and kids' ability to outsmart the system (with Airbnbs, VRBOs, etc).

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3. Fantasy Football League Drama

• A sprawling, communal office fantasy league is introduced—leading to confusion about who’s actually participating, with Billy defending his non-involvement due to the oversized, chaotic league format and previous office scandals.

“I participated last year. I didn't know until I lost at the end of the season that everyone owed Mike Fuentes money because he made up a buy-in after he won the championship...”
—Billy Gil, [18:33]

• Notable Moment: Billy admits to rare "inter-league trading" (swapping players/info across different fantasy sports)—to the group’s mock amazement.

“I was a scoundrel. …It was me.”
—Billy Gil, [20:03]

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4. Shohei Ohtani & Sports "Evil" Theories

• The panel debates Shohei Ohtani’s off-field controversies, juxtaposing his world-class talent with odd luck and mishaps (interpreter scandal, failed land deals).

“Shohei Ohtani, possibly evil.”
—Mike Ryan, [22:48]

They riff on whether his issues are evil, cursed, or just weird luck, and compare how public perception would be different if an American star like LeBron had similar associations.

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5. Marlins, Messi, and Inter Miami’s Distinctly Miami Scandal

• Marlins' local relevance vs. Inter Miami/Messi Mania:
  The team discusses how local sports coverage shifts by season and why Inter Miami draws national and local attention.

• Cheating or Just Miami? Ejected Coach Controversy:
  In a “uniquely Miami” moment, Inter Miami’s coach is tossed from a match but continues to coach by phone from the stands—on camera and seemingly with impunity.

“Last night, in a distinctly Miami moment, Marciano gets ejected from the game... and he's clearly and obviously on the phone [still coaching].”
—Zaslow, [32:57]

• The broadcast jokes about how blatantly obvious the sideline communication is, likening it to Bobby Valentine’s infamous dugout disguise ([33:29]).
• Turns out, by League’s Cup regulations, this “cheating” is technically not prohibited.

“Cell phone communications are not prohibited per league's cup regulations...What kind of sham throws out a coach and he's then allowed to use technology and still coach the team?”
—Billy Gil, [35:13]

• Mixed Feelings on Inter Miami:
  • The group discusses whether the team's star power and rule-bending make them loveable or hateable.
  • Ticket sales, attendance, MLS playoff implications, and what “legacy” means for the franchise (Messi individually, and growing soccer in Miami).

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6. Mike Ryan’s Big Apology: College Football Mistaken Identity

• Avery Johnson Confusion:
  Mike Ryan publicly apologizes: when analyzing Kansas State QB Avery Johnson, he incorrectly described him as white, only to learn Johnson is mixed race. He chalks it up to seeing him only with his helmet on, and thanks the few fans who pointed out his error.

“I want to apologize...I thought Avery Johnson was white.”
—Mike Ryan, [26:45]

The group finds humor in how such a non-story became an on-air apology, with Zaslow poking fun at the unnecessary controversy.

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7. College Football Expectations & Cold Weather Lessons

• Discussion pivots to college football's upcoming season, the “30 good teams,” and personal anecdotes of unpreparedness as the ESPN crew travels to cold-weather games.

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8. The Decline of Taxis & Overreliance on Phones

• Dan and Zaslow muse on the obsolescence of taxis in an Uber-dominated, phone-dependent world. Zaslow tells a story of being unable to explain "taxi" to a gas station worker in L.A., highlighting generational and linguistical disconnects.

“I'm trying to explain a taxi to a worker... this person doesn't know what I'm talking about.”
—Zaslow, [42:14]

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9. Double Entendres & Lyrics as Life Philosophy

• The episode ends with a celebration of double entendres in lyrics, especially in Pitbull’s work, and a return to playful parent/child power struggles at home.

“As long as I can make you tap, I'm still in charge of this house.”
—Billy Gil, [44:14]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments (w/ Timestamps)

• Zaslow on Miami traffic:
  "Now that they're fouling up my streets...with their learning they can just do on AI that they don't need to go anywhere to go learn." [01:29]

• Billy Gil on Dad Respect:
  "It's become their favorite pastime...just shitting on me." [07:44]

• Spotify Showdown:
  "I'm still in charge of the house. He writes back, 'Two more months, clock's ticking.'" [14:00]

• Mike Ryan’s Race Confusion Apology:
  "I want to apologize...I thought Avery Johnson was white." [26:45]

• On Inter Miami scandal:
  "Cell phone communications are not prohibited per league's cup regulations...What kind of sham throws out a coach and he's then allowed to use technology and still coach the team?" [35:13]

• Dan on Miami Coach Ejection:
  "It’s an overhang. Basically, he's on the bench." [35:50]

• Billy on Parenting:
  "As long as I can make you tap, I'm still in charge of this house." [44:14]

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Important Segment Timestamps

• [01:29] - Miami back-to-school traffic complaints
• [04:38] - Father-son physical challenge banter
• [07:44] - Family teasing the dad
• [10:56] - The Spotify control war between Billy and his son
• [14:00] - "I'm still in charge" / "Two more months" exchange
• [18:33] - Office fantasy football league shenanigans (Billy’s “altruism”)
• [20:03] - Billy admits to inter-league trades: “I was a scoundrel”
• [22:48] - Shohei Ohtani possibly being evil
• [26:45] - Mike Ryan's apology for misidentifying Avery Johnson
• [32:57] - Inter Miami scandal—ejected coach still coaching by phone
• [35:13] - "Not prohibited" ruling by League's Cup; panel's incredulity
• [42:14] - Zaslow’s taxi story and the generational disconnect
• [44:14] - "As long as I can make you tap..." - Billy on family order

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Overall Tone & Takeaways

• The episode is a signature blend of local South Florida ridiculousness, sports community in-jokes, office chaos, and real personal stories.
• It combines playful self-deprecation about parenthood/adulting with wry commentary on sports culture and the absurdity of modern life.
• Standout segments include the farcical Inter Miami coaching scandal, Mike Ryan’s humorous “big apology,” and the generational warfare in Billy’s household—offering something both for diehard sports fans and those who appreciate the lighter side of modern life.

Highly recommended for listeners who love their sports radio with a heavy dose of South Florida weirdness, humor, and genuine camaraderie.

Transcript

[Dan Le Batard]

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[Billy Gil]

Plus the clothes I love today will.

[Dan Le Batard]

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[Zaslow]

And skydiving could never be.

[Dan Le Batard]

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[Billy Gil]

Break the sound barrier.

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[Zaslow]

I know that you guys have spent a lot of time in traffic recently. South Florida is brutal. You've heard us talk about it. It's a reason not to want to live here. Our infrastructure can't handle what it is that we presently have living here. But when the kids go back to school, it gets exponentially worse in a way that makes our streets someplace that makes me like, I don't even mean for it to happen. I just, I had no bad thoughts about children before traffic and now that they're fouling up my my, my streets and thoroughfares with their learning that they can just do on AI that they don't need to go anywhere to go learn. They're getting in the way of everything. That's paradise down here. Zasla, what's your experience been with your kids and traffic? Your kids can now drive, obviously.

[Billy Gil]

Yeah, my, my kids just went back to school yesterday. Yesterday was their first day of school and, and yeah. And they're also driving together now. His own car. And so that's, that's kind of wild. But yeah, I mean traffic kind of sucks on the way here. It's a little bit like Mad Max on 95 South.

[Mike Ryan]

I mean it's do you like Dan have a mile and a half commute. Where are you coming from? What county?

[Billy Gil]

I'm coming from Cooper City, man. We are out west, north and west.

[Dan Le Batard]

Dan's got, like, six stop signs against traffic also.

[Billy Gil]

Yep. I'm a guarantee of. I mean, that.

[Dan Le Batard]

That.

[Billy Gil]

That interchange where I'm trying to merge onto 95.

[Dan Le Batard]

I don't like who I am at that interchange.

[Billy Gil]

I mean, I'm cutting people off.

[Dan Le Batard]

I got to go.

[Billy Gil]

I mean, I gotta go. It's. We're trying to survive out there, Dan.

[Zaslow]

When Zaslow says it's Mad Max, I've seen people get out of cars with clubs that have spikes on them, and, you know, they're wearing masks and eye patches like it is that place. That is an apocalyptic tomorrow. Our traffic cross, you know, crossroads across from just places where they're doing $6 billion of construction.

[Dan Le Batard]

I feel bad for the sheep that just wait at the end of that line sometimes. I'm just driving. I see the same lady there every day. I'm like, you're just. You know, you cut over here, you could save like a half hour.

[Billy Gil]

Yep. Gotta be aggressive, Dan. Come on.

[Zaslow]

This is.

[Billy Gil]

I gotta go. Yeah, this is. This is. This is serious business here. I got places to go. Catch you slipping.

[Dan Le Batard]

You missed out on when we were catching you up to everything that happened. Zaz has no control of his children or his house. One of them booked a flight to Chicago to get a UFC fight without telling him. Same one then ran away from home. It's just things are crazy at the Zaslo manor right now.

[Billy Gil]

Yeah, you weren't here for that. Where he stormed out of the house, took the car. I mean, it's his car, but took the car and like. All right, see ya.

[Zaslow]

Okay. Among all of our friends, when I say this thing about all people who are men who are 40 think they're 20, 20 years younger. Understand that Zaslo is the lead toddler in that house, but what's happening in that house, not unlike what's happening in the Cody household, is there are three toddlers running around in that house, and I'm not sure Zaslo is the most mature of them.

[Billy Gil]

Well, and there's constant challenging to fights. Like last night, right before I went to bed, my younger son. All right. Who's going to be 14 soon. My younger son said because he's growing right now, he's getting a little bit taller. The younger one, Older ones are already taller than me. But the. I took his ass down. The younger one, he. He asked me, when can I jump. When do I get to challenge? I was like, dude, you could. You could step up whenever you want, player. I mean, it's going to end poorly for you, but you know, step up. We'll see.

[Zaslow]

Okay, I look forward to how it is this escalates, Chris, because your father still thinks he can K your ass. My father still thinks he can kick my ass.

[Dan Le Batard]

Yeah, I think my dad does, actually. Yeah. And he couldn't. I whooped that ass.

[Mike Ryan]

I don't have that relationship with mine. I walked all over the guy. It was my mom that beat the shit out of me.

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[Zaslow]

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[Dan Le Batard]

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[Billy Gil]

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[Dan Le Batard]

This is the Dan Levator show with the Stugats podcast.

[Zaslow]

The way that I imagine it in the Zaslow Mansion is that zas to be in charge. But those teenagers are spider monkeys. They're just sort of climbing up the walls of his life and trying to do whatever they want. And every once in a while, dad has to elbow them and remind them that for the moment, for the next year or two, he can still physically handle them well.

[Billy Gil]

And what's happened is especially with my older one, My older one and my wife. It's become their favorite pastime. It's really what bonds the entire family together. What's become their favorite pastime is just shitting on me. That's. That's what they do, you know.

[Dan Le Batard]

Thing in all families, I feel like you just go after the dad. At least in my family.

[Zaslow]

Is it. I don't know. Billy. Billy, you're.

[Dan Le Batard]

It's true. Yeah, it's true.

[Zaslow]

So you are the.

[Dan Le Batard]

In your least respected member of my household. Yes, that's 100% accurate. That's exactly how it works.

[Zaslow]

Okay. So in your.

[Dan Le Batard]

Don't even bother at the point. This point in time and pretending to respect me. And that's fine. They'll learn.

[Zaslow]

They will.

[Billy Gil]

How are they going to learn?

[Dan Le Batard]

I've said too much.

[Zaslow]

Okay. I don't know that they're going to learn. The. So what ended up happening? Did they. Did they go to Chicago for ufc?

[Billy Gil]

No.

[Dan Le Batard]

No.

[Billy Gil]

Because the way they didn't have an adult to go with them because I don't know if you're aware, but you can't be 16 and check into a hotel. They're not going to let you do that. So they postponed and that event took place a few days.

[Zaslow]

I wasn't aware. But that's a good rule, right? That sounds like a good rule.

[Mike Ryan]

You didn't know that then? You can't be 16 and check into a hotel.

[Zaslow]

I did not know that. I did not know that there was an age. I assume that if somebody's got a credit card, they've got a credit card. Whether it's daddy's credit card or not, it's a credit card.

[Billy Gil]

And my son was like, no, no, it's okay. We're going to get someone outside the hotel to check us. And I go, it's not like you're going to the 711 and you're asking a bum to buy you beer. It's not the same thing. You're not going to get in. So they postpone the trip. They think they're now going in. I think it's December, maybe November. November, November. To Madison Square Garden, the Mecca. So we'll see. I don't know that that's going to happen, but I.

[Zaslow]

You've got to be able to control that. What do you mean? You don't know that? They're your kids. They are not only.

[Billy Gil]

It's one of them, one of my boys. Yeah, well.

[Zaslow]

But they're one of the rules here, Tony. You're In Latin, fatherhood. The rule is, if you're living under my house, my rules, that's it. Like, there's not. There's not flexibility on that.

[Dan Le Batard]

No. You got a. So popping. That's it. Exactly right.

[Billy Gil]

When I.

[Dan Le Batard]

Exactly right.

[Billy Gil]

I guess it's not the same rules in the Jewish household.

[Zaslow]

Is that right?

[Dan Le Batard]

No, it's bad. You guys don't do gallettas. Yeah. Just beat your kids and that's it. The end of story. It's Hispanic culture now. We just give them more food, throw something at you. Your kids are dumb. Like, they could just get like, a VRBO or an Airbnb or something. Right. You don't even need to check in. They just. You. You call. They give you a code, you type it into the law.

[Billy Gil]

It's interesting that you said that he suggested that. I'm like, no, you're not going without an adult. So I did kind of handle that situation. He didn't go. The event was a few days ago, but yesterday, man. So like I said, yesterday was the first day of school for my boys. And. And my older one now has a car.

[Dan Le Batard]

A little emotional for you.

[Zaslow]

Not at all.

[Billy Gil]

It couldn't wait for them to get back to school. And so they're on there. They're going to school. You know, my older one, he's got a car now, so they're driving to school and. Great. Okay. I'm on my way down here to Miami yesterday. Listen to talk radio for, like, 25, 30 minutes.

[Mike Ryan]

Big Dog and then FM. And is he still doing the thing? They're listening up in Jupiter.

[Billy Gil]

I was not listening to that. And so I decided I'm like, you know what? I want to listen to music.

[Mike Ryan]

All right.

[Billy Gil]

I'm open on music those days. Yeah. So I pull up my Spotify on my phone. Okay, cool. I pull up the Spotify. It comes up on my screen, and it's rap music that's just playing. It's lol. Yachty. All right. Not little yachts.

[Zaslow]

Yes. Sweet. Yes.

[Billy Gil]

And I'm like, I can't change this fast enough. So.

[Zaslow]

Well, but what is that?

[Billy Gil]

What do you mean, what is that?

[Zaslow]

Okay, I don't like it. Okay, hold on.

[Dan Le Batard]

Let's see where he's going with this. What song was it?

[Mike Ryan]

Do you remember?

[Billy Gil]

No. And so I couldn't change it fast enough. And I put on what I want, and that's Pearl Jam, of course. And so Pearl Jam's on for a.

[Zaslow]

Few seconds, the only thing that's ever.

[Billy Gil]

Playing, and then it changes back to LOL Yachty. Like, what the hell is. And then I realize this son of my son is listening to the Spotify. And so let me take you in this direction. Now. How does Spotify have a function where I pay per month for this Spotify? I can't listen on one end and my son can't listen to what he wants on the other ends. Like, only one channel can be used at a time. Can you imagine if you were watching Netflix and then someone else signs into your account somewhere else and all of a sudden you have to watch the movie they want? Why is that?

[Mike Ryan]

It happens.

[Dan Le Batard]

Well, I think there's new accounts, like family accounts now that you can have multiple people streaming.

[Billy Gil]

Well, who knows that?

[Dan Le Batard]

I did.

[Billy Gil]

So I quickly realized that, oh, my son is listening to LOL Yachty. And so I text him. I text him, I go, stop changing the channel.

[Mike Ryan]

You're so old right now. That's how you text.

[Billy Gil]

I use the one finger. S, T, O, P. And it's especially long to text because I'm using my left finger because I'm a righty. So I'm texting him, stop changing the channel. Can he give a good morning?

[Zaslow]

No.

[Billy Gil]

Have a nice first day of the school year.

[Zaslow]

Wait, so you're driving the car car, and you can't. You don't have control of your life in your own car when you're driving around?

[Billy Gil]

No, like. Like a being is changing the channel.

[Zaslow]

It's not a being, it's your. It's your son. And he's overrun the home because you have no control of your home.

[Billy Gil]

So I text him, no hello, no good morning, no have a great first day of school. Your junior year of high school. I just text, stop changing the channel. Were listening to Pearl Jam. And then he writes back, I was listening first, sugar tits.

[Dan Le Batard]

So no galleta there. You're not.

[Mike Ryan]

You don't want to do a galley there.

[Dan Le Batard]

I think you just drive into a canal and you just say, you know what, I've lost. That's a bar. Yeah.

[Zaslow]

How old is this child?

[Billy Gil]

16.

[Zaslow]

It's unacceptable.

[Dan Le Batard]

What did you say?

[Zaslow]

I cannot. Can you imagine me saying this to my father at 16?

[Dan Le Batard]

Sugar tithe.

[Billy Gil]

I'm listening first. Sugar tits.

[Dan Le Batard]

Yeah. Sugar tits.

[Mike Ryan]

I do not just make it sure.

[Billy Gil]

So I write back, I'm still in charge of the house. He writes back, two more months, clock's ticking. And then I'm like, effort, man. He's going to be. He's going to be to school in two minutes. I'll just use the Spotify when he's done.

[Mike Ryan]

Yeah, this little yachty ain't so bad.

[Zaslow]

Billy, I have an issue here and. And they're actually a couple of them. There's an office issue and there's a content issue. The office issue, as I have seen. It was really nice to see the camaraderie and the love on the board of a bunch of people. A lot of people getting ready for fantasy, getting ready for football. In two weeks, they don't want to talk about Kyle Schwaber. They want to talk about footballs in two weeks.

[Dan Le Batard]

Schwaber's having a season.

[Zaslow]

Oh my God. When does he. When does he. Not that. Three straight seasons of 45 or more homers. Nobody else does that.

[Dan Le Batard]

Well, I mean, he's not going to win the MVP though, because Shohei is going to win the mvp. I accidentally drafted Kyle Schwaber in the second round of my fantasy. Not that you cared, because it was an. Yeah, it was an auto pick. I wasn't intending. I was like, I don't want Kyle Schwaber in the second round. God, what a season he's having. I traded him.

[Zaslow]

That is a crazy stat. That Kyle Schwaber is the only guy in the big leagues with three straight 45 home runs.

[Dan Le Batard]

I think he's a free agent too. He's going to get paid.

[Zaslow]

It's not the body.

[Dan Le Batard]

You say it that way.

[Zaslow]

Why did you.

[Dan Le Batard]

Because that's what happens when you get paid.

[Mike Ryan]

That's right. That's how you say.

[Billy Gil]

Yeah. That's the cool way to say.

[Dan Le Batard]

Is that. How do your kids say it? I just kind of want to. I. Should I call your son and ask him how to say it? Because he's really the authority on this.

[Billy Gil]

I want to know.

[Dan Le Batard]

Well, is he? Do we know that? Seems like the type that goes under the bleachers and you know extracurriculars nowadays, period. Nowadays they say, get a bag.

[Billy Gil]

Whoa.

[Dan Le Batard]

Do they?

[Billy Gil]

I say, you get Purge Dan.

[Dan Le Batard]

That same thing happens to me with Spotify, with my daughters and Moana. I don't even fight it. I'm not gonna threaten a three year old. I'm just like, I'll. I'll just. I'll. I'll drive in silence. And I do that.

[Billy Gil]

But does she then shout derogatory terms at you?

[Dan Le Batard]

No, not yet. That's coming though. Yeah, that's coming.

[Zaslow]

Talk about stepping up. Bang, bang.

[Dan Le Batard]

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[Billy Gil]

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[Dan Le Batard]

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[Zaslow]

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[Billy Gil]

And mild flavors in sauced and dry rub.

[Zaslow]

That's right.

[Dan Le Batard]

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[Zaslow]

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[Dan Le Batard]

Love that chicken from Popeyes.

[Zaslow]

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[Billy Gil]

Tax extra.

[Zaslow]

Don LeBatard.

[Billy Gil]

My algorithm on Instagram is Dan. It's all boobs.

[Mike Ryan]

Stugats.

[Billy Gil]

It's a good algorithm.

[Dan Le Batard]

This is the Dan Levatar show with the stugats.

[Zaslow]

So I was happy to see that all of you were partaking together in a fantasy league, but I saw that Billy was not partaking and it's not. What do you mean? Falsehood?

[Dan Le Batard]

This is a poor representation of the situation.

[Zaslow]

What is the. What is the. Okay, so what is the.

[Dan Le Batard]

Are you, Are you participating?

[Zaslow]

What? Well, wait a minute. What's the truth?

[Billy Gil]

Just got here.

[Mike Ryan]

What do you mean, what is the truth?

[Zaslow]

Hood? I'm looking at a board and I see a lot of names on it and I'm happy to see the community there. And then I don't see your name on it. And I was just asking, hey, Billy, you like fantasy? Why wouldn't you be participating in this?

[Dan Le Batard]

I just like to point there's. We see the board here on the screen. There's lots of people not participating. I was asked two days ago, would you like to be in our fantasy football league? And the response I got, or I was asked, do you want to? And I said, well, when is the draft? And the reply I got was, I don't know. And I was like, okay. So then I come in and I see there's a board of already 12 people. And if I'm added, I'm 13. And then we have an odd number in this league and you never want to be in a league with an odd number. Then teams have a buy one week and it's like this whole confusion and then to add me, then we'd have to, if we don't want an odd number, go up to 14. No one wants to be in a 14 team league either. Last year we were in a 16 team league, which is crazy. So it's not that I have anything against anyone or this fantasy league. I viewed me being considerate by saying, like, when's the draft? I still haven't gotten a date, so I haven't followed up. So Presently, I'm not part of this league.

[Zaslow]

An act of altruism.

[Dan Le Batard]

It's a very big league. Like more than 12 is a lot. It makes it impossible to draft people. It makes it impossible for waiver claims. Like, I participated last year. I didn't know until I lost at the end of the season that everyone owed Mike Fuentes money because he made up a buy in after he won the championship and he texted. He said, hey, everyone needs to sell me $10 or $20 or whatever it is. It was never discussed beforehand until he won. Then everyone had to just send him money, which I did, by the way, because I didn't want to. The guy that owes people, Fuentes, you.

[Zaslow]

Fit right in with this crockery around here that people steal our money from the fine bucket.

[Dan Le Batard]

It's crazy. It might be him and.

[Zaslow]

And now Fuentes. It's one of those Fuentes brothers. You can't trust the Fuentes.

[Dan Le Batard]

None of them.

[Zaslow]

Mike Fuentes. The camera went on him and exposed him as somebody who won last year's fantasy league. And then all of a sudden started throwing in extra charges on people.

[Dan Le Batard]

They didn't exist beforehand. It was never discussed or was never at least clearly communicated. I paid nonetheless. However, there were shenanigans. I also participated and I will say won our very forward WNBA fantasy league last year. Oh, I was the best at WNBA fantasy last year. Also last. Last year we had too many fantasy. We had wnba, we had baseball, and we had football. And what ended up happening is that we had some scoundrels here who are making interleague trades. Dude, you do this. You're the biggest funny business guy. I was the scoundrel. I. I said we had scoundrels. It was me. I was a scoundrel.

[Billy Gil]

There you go.

[Dan Le Batard]

Yes. I didn't even know you were talking about you, but I just know you to be the guy and like, it was always like late in the season. Who. Anybody want this guy? No, no, it wasn't late.

[Billy Gil]

It wasn't technically alive. And he said we had scoundrels.

[Dan Le Batard]

Yeah. I didn't reveal that it was me, but I will come out and say that it was me. This is what happened, is the WNBA league was a joke of all kinds in which everybody could just choose someone that they wanted to call dibs on before the draft even started.

[Billy Gil]

What?

[Dan Le Batard]

Yeah, because Rose wanted to get Caitlin Clark. So then my person that I had dibs on got drafted. So I drafted Caitlin Clark and I said, you want Caitlin Clark? Trade me Tyler Glass. Now, in Fantasy baseball. He was the best pitcher in baseball.

[Billy Gil]

Oh, that's the kind of interleague trading I didn't understand. That's an American League. National League. You can't trade with each other. No, no, that's. You're talking about inter. Fantasy trades. Yeah.

[Dan Le Batard]

When I'm telling you these stories, you should say, I don't want Billy participating in my fantasy football league. But that's not what. We're receiving.

[Billy Gil]

Wow.

[Dan Le Batard]

Criticism.

[Billy Gil]

Dan, do you understand how. How rare that is, what Billy was doing, where he's negotiating trades in one league to get something in another league?

[Zaslow]

I saw how that happened.

[Dan Le Batard]

I was a visionary.

[Zaslow]

It escalated quickly to Tyler Glass now. And now you had me intrigued. Former Ray. Now he fell off. Yeah, I know, right?

[Dan Le Batard]

That's what they do, pitchers, huh?

[Zaslow]

Yeah. And as. As have the Dodgers.

[Billy Gil]

As have been hitters, too.

[Zaslow]

As have the Dodgers. Because Shohei's now all of a sudden getting pelted. He's not pitching very well. Tony's got a theory that Shohei Ohtani is evil.

[Dan Le Batard]

I'm working on it, Dan, because everything around Shohei Ohtani, right. He's been so celebrated. He's got the biggest contract ever. He's got all this stuff. He's a great player.

[Billy Gil]

He pitches, he hits.

[Dan Le Batard]

He's everything. But then you look at him and all the things off the field, and.

[Mike Ryan]

You'Re like, there's something trailing him.

[Dan Le Batard]

I don't know exactly if it's just like, he's just got really bad luck. His interpreter stole $40 million and he betted away. Okay, maybe it wasn't him.

[Mike Ryan]

He screwed up a land deal in.

[Dan Le Batard]

Hawaii worth $240 million. Oh, I don't know what happened. Dan, you were out there. Was that the talk of the Big Island?

[Billy Gil]

You hear about it.

[Zaslow]

Which one's the Big Island?

[Dan Le Batard]

Hawaii. Yeah.

[Mike Ryan]

Hawaii is the big.

[Dan Le Batard]

You just say it. The Big Island. Aren't they all Hawaii? They all are. Hawaii. All of these are Hawaii? Yes. Now all Hawaii Big island is Hawaii. There's actually one island. That's Hawaii.

[Mike Ryan]

There's one island. The Big Island.

[Dan Le Batard]

Nice. What's a cluster of islands? I thought it was like, this is all Florida archipelago, but there's a bunch of cities, so I think. So I think you might. Is that. Let me look this up.

[Zaslow]

I don't know if he pronounced that correctly. I.

[Mike Ryan]

How do you pronounce archipelago?

[Zaslow]

Tony, you're intimidating me with your swag.

[Mike Ryan]

I'm just asking. I think it's arc. At the arc.

[Dan Le Batard]

Archipelago is a group or chain of islands clustered together, often in an ocean or sea. Archipelago. I'm from Miami, dude.

[Mike Ryan]

What do you want me to tell you? Say almond too.

[Zaslow]

Okay.

[Dan Le Batard]

I don't think it's archipelago.

[Mike Ryan]

Is it?

[Dan Le Batard]

I've never heard it that way.

[Mike Ryan]

But anyways, more importantly, Dan, Shohei Ohtani, possibly evil.

[Dan Le Batard]

Okay, If I you make the same.

[Mike Ryan]

Conversation about LeBron, if he was or.

[Dan Le Batard]

If he wasn't, what would you bet your life on?

[Zaslow]

I would. Well, I would. No, wait a minute.

[Mike Ryan]

I would show his evil.

[Dan Le Batard]

Would you bet your life on. No way is LeBron doing what Shohei did. Or you're just saying he's implying LeBron is to steroids what Shohei is to evil. But wait, what?

[Zaslow]

I think you mean cursed, though, not evil.

[Dan Le Batard]

No, he's not cursed.

[Mike Ryan]

He's fine.

[Dan Le Batard]

Cursed.

[Mike Ryan]

He's absolutely fine.

[Zaslow]

Evil. Evil.

[Dan Le Batard]

Where there's smoke.

[Zaslow]

Dan again, he is now back on the mound and everyone is hitting him. The Dodgers are again. That team's over under on the season was 104 and a half. And it's weird to see the Dodgers even a long regular season struggle. But the thing that I was beginning to say around the fantasy league and all of the controversy there, I thought this sense of community around sports was developing. And I wanted to talk Marlins baseball with you and Jeremy. And then Mike Ryan just starts yelling at me that he doesn't want to talk about Marlins, that he's just enough. He's been tolerating these Marlins conversations. And I'm like, but they were beating good teams there. They were playing really good baseball.

[Billy Gil]

You see that game against the Yankees.

[Zaslow]

For like seven weeks. They played best in the sport, baseball. And it was weird to see. And so it got. It got a group of us, a small group of us excited in Marlins baseball. And then of course, it collapsed in the run differential, you know, was minus 60. But we were believing. Or pl. Yeah, plus plus six. No, minus 60. We were believing for a moment that the Marlins might be able to do something because they were playing baseball for a significant stretch. That was very good baseball ball. And then the wheels fell off of the thing a little bit. And Mike Ryan is yelling at everybody that we should be talking about Lionel Messi. We should be talking about Inter Miami. You've got a uniquely Miami scandal last night in soccer where we're using cell phone communications that evidently are nefarious after our. Our coach gets ejected. And everyone hates inter Miami. Everyone.

[Mike Ryan]

I'm not saying talk the same amount. I know it's soccer. It's MLS soccer. I Think we talk inter Miami and Messi. You know, percentage points on what we do compared to the Marlins. I think you covered the Marlin season great. I think we talked more Marlins than we talked Heat basketball last year. Is there a national show talking about the Minnesota Twins this much? I don't. I don't. I don't think so. You covered it.

[Zaslow]

It's a local hour. What do you mean, is this a national show?

[Mike Ryan]

The Marlins are seven games under.500. I feel like we covered it and now it's football season. Thank heavens it is football season. No, we got a ranked matchup in Ireland this weekend. That's great. Which leads me to an apology I have to make. We covered Kansas State briefly earlier, before Dan returned from vacation, and we were talking about Kansas State quarterback Avery Johnson. Gentleman in the TV truck, Can you go ahead and put this image of Avery Johnson on? I said Avery. Amin Alhassan asked me, yeah, he's a good player. Absolutely.

[Dan Le Batard]

He's a good player.

[Mike Ryan]

He's a good player. Good player. Amin Alhassan asked me, without an image, is Avery Johnson related to the other Avery Johnson? I'm like, no, Avery Johnson is white. I have to apologize to Avery Johnson.

[Dan Le Batard]

Whoa.

[Mike Ryan]

Because Avery Johnson is mixed. Show other images of Avery Johnson. There we go. Had that one wrong. Now, you can imagine as someone that has only watched Kansas State on mute and seeing the blonde hair flipped out of the back of the helmet and with that complexion, I got this one wrong, folks. I am really sorry. I want to apologize. And anyone who knows me knows how this could happen. I thought Avery Johnson was white.

[Dan Le Batard]

I love how you go with the muted TV excuse like Dan uses sometimes.

[Zaslow]

The excuse. I don't think I had it on mute.

[Mike Ryan]

I had it on mute. I don't follow their blogs. I just watch them between the lines. Do they say his race when the.

[Dan Le Batard]

TV sound is on?

[Mike Ryan]

I know, but they're never on the main screen, right? So I don't see the cutaways to the sideline. I don't see him with his helmet off. I just see Avery Johnson slinging the pill.

[Billy Gil]

Be amazing. Avery Johnson back to pass. He's mixed.

[Mike Ryan]

Honestly, this one's so tricky that they should work that in occasionally.

[Zaslow]

Oh, no, wait a minute. This one's so tricky. No, I believe that part of the fun is absolutely in the uniqueness of. This is what I've distilled college football down to. I know about 25 of the quarterbacks, and I know that most of them are either white or black or Avery.

[Mike Ryan]

Johnson's one of those quarterbacks that, you know, if you follow the sport, if your cat, like, he's a good player. This is a sneaky Heisman candidate for a sneaky CFP course.

[Zaslow]

No, but hold on a second. Let's go ahead and show this again. Please put on the screen the first photograph. Okay. And I thought this was a Dutch volleyball player, like, so that's just visual there. Or I was there. There's a soccer player running around the Premier League who's also giant like this and. And Norwegian or something like that. That's not merely white.

[Mike Ryan]

But I spoke with conviction. I'm like, no, you silly person, it's not Avery Johnson, son. How can he be. I have eyes. I see a blonde hair flip out of the back of the helmet. I'm thinking Justin Herbert. So I apologize sincerely. Thank you to the two people on social media that alerted me to this, because everybody else just took this one in stride, folks.

[Zaslow]

Okay, A brave move by you, Mike. Thank you for alerting us by way of apology onto controversy that none of us knew about before. You made it a controversy by getting this discernibly, obviously wrong in a way that all of two people noticed. Even though, like this, Kansas State's a legitimate program. And, and. And there are only 25 of these. Correct. Let's see. I know we're going to start changing the conferences into 28 team leagues, but as we head into this season of Notre Dame and Miami at the top of the schedule, Texas and Ohio State at the top of the schedule, you get to see. Well, you get to see right away. Okay, Arch Manning. All right, let's see.

[Mike Ryan]

You get lsu, Clemson. There's so many great games to start.

[Zaslow]

We've been waiting for two years on Arch Manning to take over the sport. Arch Manning, thank you.

[Dan Le Batard]

That's right.

[Mike Ryan]

Do you still know how to pronounce it or no?

[Dan Le Batard]

Are we up in the air on that?

[Zaslow]

No, we're good. I think college football is right on us. And if I ask you guys, how many teams do you know are going to be good? It's 30. 30. Where? You know, and I'm not saying that doesn't mean that you're not going to have a whole bunch of average, you know, Vanderbilts and Wake Forests running around there. But Kansas State would be one of them, would they not?

[Mike Ryan]

Yeah, they're playing another team that I would lump in as good. And I agree, like, good. Duke was good last year. They finished unranked. I think that there's about 30 teams that are good now. Good is subjective. People may say good is only if your top 10 good. If you're CFP good. Relevant in November is good. Whereas, you know, maybe that might be too harsh. Nine WINS is an impressive season.

[Zaslow]

Okay, so Zaslow is about to head out with ESPN Radio. He had to buy gear for this. He didn't have cold weather gear. Zaslow's entire attire. You're looking at it.

[Billy Gil]

It's so unprepared.

[Zaslow]

It's. He went into college. Where'd you end up on the first game you had to buy clothes for and you had no idea, like what. How cold Wisconsin was?

[Billy Gil]

Yeah, it's. It's any number of places. It was Ann Arbor, it was Madison. I'm there in shorts, and they're like, you're in. You're an idiot. Whatever, man. Salad dress.

[Mike Ryan]

It's another good game. Colorado.

[Zaslow]

Georgia Tech.

[Billy Gil]

Yeah, I'm in Columbus next week. I'm very excited.

[Zaslow]

Okay, but. And we'll have time for that.

[Dan Le Batard]

Labor Day savings are happening right now.

[Mike Ryan]

At the Home Depot.

[Zaslow]

So what are you working on? Prep for fall with our wide selection.

[Dan Le Batard]

Of cordless power tools that make it easy to clear your lawn starting at $79. And once the leaves are are clear.

[Zaslow]

Keep your yard looking fresh with colorful.

[Dan Le Batard]

Mums that bloom all season long. Shop Labor Day Savings now through September 3rd only at the Home Depot. See select stores for details. This episode is brought to you by State Farm. Checking off the boxes on your to do list is a great feeling. And when it comes to checking off coverage, a State Farm agent can help you choose an option that's right for you. Whether you prefer talking in person on the phone or using the award winning app, it's nice knowing you have help finding coverage that best fits your needs. Like a good neighbor. State Farm is there.

[Zaslow]

Don LeBatard.

[Billy Gil]

That was a long story.

[Zaslow]

Yeah, it's the only kind he tells.

[Dan Le Batard]

It's a short one for me. I tried to speed it up for you guys.

[Mike Ryan]

You forgot about the league's cup stugats.

[Dan Le Batard]

Yeah.

[Zaslow]

La Carreta is a place where the best of the celebrations has to be the 97 Marlin celebration, because it was.

[Dan Le Batard]

Levant Fidel died the first time. This is the Dan Levatar show with.

[Billy Gil]

The ST.

[Zaslow]

On the inner Miami story. Okay. Because in my lifetime, the most famous managerial malfeasance that there has ever been when someone has been ejected from a game, the. The. The most cartoonishly funny one was Bobby Valentine was ejected from a Mets game I don't know how many years ago. 25 years ago. Bobby Valentine had an amazing career. And this is what I associate with it. The time that he got ejected and he returned to the dugout in a.

[Dan Le Batard]

Cop, I guess.

[Zaslow]

In a costume that's just basically a fake, ridiculous mustache. It's not a good costume.

[Billy Gil]

I don't understand. He just had. Had a fake mustache lying around for like a. Just in case.

[Zaslow]

Yes, well, so it's one of the most ridiculous contro of my lifetime. And I love that the New York newspapers made a big deal out of it. He was caught on camera. But last night, in a distinctly Miami moment, okay, Marciano gets ejected from the game, gets a red card and just goes up in the stands and is as physically close to as possible as he can be to the field while still ejected. And he's on the phone, and he's clearly and obviously on the phone and he's shouting instructions.

[Billy Gil]

Still coaching?

[Zaslow]

Yes. Well, it's not just that he's still coaching.

[Dan Le Batard]

And in the broadcast, they're like, who do you think he's talking to? And then they cut to the sideline and you see the other coach clearly holding a phone on speaker, listening, like, okay, where. Where do you need this guy?

[Zaslow]

It's amazing. So. So that's. So that's Luis Rodriguez Pagano is the assistant coach and he's holding a phone and he's got a speakerphone on the sidelines. And Zanzlo, who's a journalist.

[Billy Gil]

Yeah, of course.

[Zaslow]

I remind you guys. You guys, I don't know whether you guys have noticed recently, but Zazzle has been doing journalism around here because he's a journalist and he read the bylaws. And this doesn't seem to be like, it could be so. Because that's a distinctly Miami. They're cheating. They're obviously cheating. Look, we've got them on camera.

[Billy Gil]

It's so cheating. It's so cheating. And I mean, I'm just. Other teams must see that. And like, I hate this team so much. And. And it's not an isolated incident. It's. It's all encompassing. It's everything that's surrounding Inter Miami, all right? They sign players even though they don't have salary cap space and they already abused their designated players. Like, no, we don't care. We're signing the really pretty looking guy named Rodrigo. Like, they're just doing whatever they want. Everyone must hate Dan. I think I hate them. They're. They're so hateable. I don't think I like that team. Can't be legal. It can't be legal. And then I read here cell phone communications. The league's cup put out a statement. Inter Miami coach was located in a space designated in accordance with tournament regulations. Cell phone communications. Here's the important part, Dan. Don't interrupt. Cell phone communications are not prohibited per league's cup regulations. He's literally allowed to do what he's doing. What kind of sham throws out a coach and he's then allowed to use technology and still coach the team.

[Mike Ryan]

Now Mourinho's been caught doing a similar thing. I don't know if this is a rule in mls. Remember, leagues, cup zaz. Different competition, different set of rules. So also you've got no proof that he was talking to the coach. That's all circumstantial evidence. He's Argentinian. He talks with his hands.

[Dan Le Batard]

He doesn't seem to be hiding it. And on speakerphone, maybe he knows that.

[Billy Gil]

It'S legal because it's not. But prohibited.

[Dan Le Batard]

That's crazy.

[Mike Ryan]

That's also. That seat that he is sitting at is basically the bench. It. It's an overhang. Basically, he's on the bench.

[Billy Gil]

Was someone like, he's in like a club seat, you know?

[Mike Ryan]

Yes.

[Billy Gil]

Like, was someone in that seat? And. And you know, they tapped him on. It's like, listen, like almost like when they're commandeering your vehicle. Police officer, you know, sir, we need this.

[Dan Le Batard]

You have this seat. Unless someone gets ejected, then we're going to need to put them there.

[Mike Ryan]

That seat is so good that I'm sure it's under club control. So there's no, like, hey, we'll get you a signed back.

[Billy Gil]

This is the. In case the coach gets thrown out seat. He has to. So he wasn't thrown out. It just. You have to sit here now is.

[Zaslow]

What happened if Belichick did this with the Patriots, it would be genius. Where you say, what does Inter Miami do to prepare for the apocalypse of. Their coach has been ejected. Throw him in a better section with better WI fi so he can yell at his assistant coach through the speakerphone.

[Mike Ryan]

Loss in all this great win. No Messi. Luis Suarez gets two PKs. They cling on to the game after Tigres hits both posts. It was a great game and it's a great win.

[Zaslow]

Have you guys talked at all about the apple numbers and some of the stuff that's happening behind a paywall when we're about to be headed into a postseason where we're going to get legitimately excited about an Inter Miami team? That's. I don't know if I want to say that they're playing for some legacy stuff, but I don't know how many more years of Messi you think you can have before you build the stadium for whatever the future of this league is.

[Mike Ryan]

The stadium is for next season. Taylor Twillman came on with us a couple of days ago and sounded very confident that Messi would be there for the start of that stadium.

[Dan Le Batard]

When you say legacy stuff, you think there's people on the fence about messing. Like, oh, I don't know. Unless he wins that MLS cup, which. I don't even know if that's the championship. Unless he wins that mls Whatever.

[Billy Gil]

I'm sorry.

[Zaslow]

I meant the Inter Miami club legacy. Obviously, Messi's won't be touched at all, but right now, they're a team. Look, right now, what they are is a team who's got the best player in the world, who very often makes it look like he's playing with players who are outclassed, still the best of them, and they haven't won anything or they have won things, but they've won things. They've won trophies that Greg and Mike celebrate, but that don't feel like, you know, that the world. It doesn't feel like America's celebrating Miami. They should be better.

[Dan Le Batard]

Just what you're getting at. They should be better. They should have been more dominant. They should win more. They get whatever they want. They follow whatever rules they want. They should be better.

[Billy Gil]

Mike, am I wrong in thinking that the choke in the first round of the playoffs last year is bigger than anything they've won so far?

[Mike Ryan]

I think you're wrong.

[Dan Le Batard]

Yeah.

[Billy Gil]

Yeah. Okay.

[Mike Ryan]

Yeah. And one. So far, I got to the knockout stages of the Club World Cup. I'd say that that's actually a bigger achievement than any of the two.

[Zaslow]

Oh. But I think Zaslow's appraisal of this is more the way the casual appraises this with, oh, they lost to Atlanta when I expected them to win. That is a underachievement.

[Mike Ryan]

I mean, Zaz has already gone on the record saying he hates this club.

[Zaslow]

And that's part of the fun of what it is that we're headed into, though. This is not a club that creates indifference.

[Mike Ryan]

I don't. I think people are going to largely be indifferent and only notice if they lose. And they either lose and people will notice or they get to the final and win it. And that's the only way people notice. The only people that are going to be paying attention to the MLS playoffs are MLS fans.

[Billy Gil]

I think that Loss hurt them a lot last year. Like these games aren't sold out, man. I look in the stands on games like last night, there's so many empty seats.

[Mike Ryan]

It's a different competition. It's not grouped in with your MLS season ticket package.

[Billy Gil]

So okay, but, but so what? Like this game last year, this game a year ago would have been sold out. All those games last year place and certainly the year Messi debuted with Inter Miami, that building was packed.

[Mike Ryan]

They get really good crowds for the MLS games.

[Zaslow]

Really good.

[Billy Gil]

They're sold out.

[Zaslow]

Sold out.

[Billy Gil]

Messi, we're talking.

[Mike Ryan]

No, they get really good crowds for the MLS games. They get packed. They get for the season. They have a good season ticket base especially in the seats that are on camera. The ones that are a little thinner on cup matches, especially when Messi doesn't plays are, are the ones that you know, are blocked off for VIPs but they get really good crowds. It's a different, it's a different ticket structure.

[Zaslow]

I was about to compare what happened last night to Bobby Valentine, but I cannot do it. If it's legal, I can't. I'm unable.

[Billy Gil]

How is it legal?

[Zaslow]

Cheating. That didn't. It looked like I was celebrating Miami Che. There are two people who are going to deny that they are going to use the defense. I'm a spicy Argentinian. Everyone's talking that way down here. In every, in every gross and every sedano's that's down here, there are people talking that way. That's just how our people talk.

[Mike Ryan]

Maybe he was getting an Uber. Have you ever been following the Uber and they take the wrong turn and they just keep getting further and further away? It doesn't make any sense. Do you have gps? You have to call them and say where are you going?

[Zaslow]

I wanted to ask you guys a question. I found myself thinking of you guys because I got stuck in Los Angeles. I, I left without a phone to somewhere and you just mentioned Uber and it made me think of this because I cannot believe how tough the taxi industry has to have it right now. And, and Uber's got just like this giant sexual assault problem because oh, what could possibly go wrong if you're just getting into strangers cars all the time and the vetting's poor and we just take all the driver's money and give him percent of what it is that he's making and just, you know, get rid of cabs. But I walked. I'm asking you guys this question sincerely right now. I don't know the answer to what I'M asking you. I don't have my phone on me. And I'm so dependent on my phone that if I can't go now, call an Uber. I'm just walking to a local gas station and I go in and I talk to the attendant and I'm like, can you call a cab for me? And he doesn't know what I'm talking about. He doesn't know what a taxi is.

[Dan Le Batard]

This was this year you did.

[Zaslow]

This was two weeks ago.

[Dan Le Batard]

Then you didn't need your phone. You're disconnected.

[Zaslow]

Dan, what do you do in that situation? What just solved the problem for me. Just walking into the gas station, trying to explain to somebody what a taxi is.

[Dan Le Batard]

I might go, I think they knew what a taxi was, Billy. They just didn't know who to call. I would know.

[Zaslow]

Look, I'm telling you, this happened to me the other day and these are weird things that are happening to me where somebody's look, holding a nickel up to me and saying, how much is this worth? No, if you start putting the 20 year olds in charge of things, they're not going to know what was happening 10 years ago. And so when I say I'm asking you for a legitimate problem solve, I'm trying to explain a taxi to a worker here whose English is a bit spotty, and I'm having trouble explaining what I need and this person doesn't know what I'm talking about.

[Dan Le Batard]

If. If I have cash and there's other people there that aren't the gas station worker, I'm being like, hey, can you order me an Uber and I'll give you cash for it? I mean, I'm just. Start walking, wait to see a cab. I'm with you. There's not a lot of options here without a phone.

[Mike Ryan]

So were you at an Airbnb where.

[Dan Le Batard]

You had a hotel? Like, where were you physically? That you manner?

[Mike Ryan]

Oh, I was just.

[Zaslow]

I was, I was near a gas station.

[Dan Le Batard]

Yeah, but you had to be somewhere.

[Zaslow]

You know, you're right. I have a manor that comes with its own gas station. I was right next door. I didn't even need an Uber. I just wanted a golf cart to take me seven steps.

[Dan Le Batard]

What language did the person speak? They didn't speak English.

[Zaslow]

They did speak English, but it was, you know, was. It was fractured English.

[Billy Gil]

Because if it was Spanish. You know Spanish?

[Dan Le Batard]

Yeah. And Pitbull has a song called A Taxi.

[Zaslow]

So that's how I would have explained it.

[Dan Le Batard]

Yeah, I mean, they should know what a taxi is. If you speak Spanish, you know Pitbull songs. Duh. Okay, well, that's a double entendre. Okay. Could be like it stops, but it could also be like it made it. It made it stand. He was talking about his wiener.

[Mike Ryan]

Pitbull loves those double entendre.

[Billy Gil]

I like double entendres.

[Dan Le Batard]

Yeah.

[Mike Ryan]

Like, when comes to it, he said, here go those egg whites.

[Dan Le Batard]

I think.

[Mike Ryan]

I don't think he's talking about nutrition.

[Dan Le Batard]

Oh, no, no. Guy's an English major.

[Billy Gil]

I like having to think sometimes. What do they mean? It could be two different things.

[Dan Le Batard]

Yachty can do that.

[Billy Gil]

I like that.

[Zaslow]

Put it on the poll, please. Juju at Lebatard show. Do you like double entendres? I did not have Zaz saying that today. I was not. I was not expecting that. Zaslo, how is the audience reacting in general to the fact I'm feeling like you might be being judged or shamed? We all parent differently. But you're ability to get discipline over kids who have run amok on you. And your last stop is, I'll still be able to beat you up physically.

[Billy Gil]

That's right. That's what it boils down to.

[Dan Le Batard]

All right.

[Billy Gil]

As long as I can make you tap, I'm still in charge of this house. All right.

[Zaslow]

This doesn't seem like order, though.

[Dan Le Batard]

This doesn't quite the culture you've created.

[Billy Gil]

I'm doing just fine. Like, everything's worked out all right.

[Dan Le Batard]

What if he hits you with a.

[Mike Ryan]

Spinning nerd's back elbow?

[Billy Gil]

Yeah, we'll see. We'll. I mean, hasn't happened yet.

[Dan Le Batard]

He learned that one, though, on Saturday.

[Billy Gil]

He did.

[Zaslow]

He did.

[Mike Ryan]

Did.

[Billy Gil]

We'll see, Dan. I mean, right now, your boy is still in control.

[Zaslow]

Are you walking around your home and at any point, at any point, there can be an overthrow of the government, a coup.

[Billy Gil]

Well, not with my older son. He has to wait two more months. That's why he said, two more months, clocks ticking. Because you got to wait six months after you attempt, you know? So I got two months before I got looking over my shoulder, you know? But my younger one, like I told you last night before I went to bed, my younger one, who stands no chance, but my younger one was like, do I get to challenge whenever I want? I said, yeah, you can try. So we'll see.

[Dan Le Batard]

I came, I saw, I conquered. Better said, I saw, I conquered, I came. Wow, that was on the radio.

[Mike Ryan]

What do you think he meant when? When he said, yeah, right. Picture that with a Kodak. Better yet, go to Times Square and take a picture of me. With a Kodak.

[Billy Gil]

See? Double entendre, man.

[Mike Ryan]

I don't think that's it.