Local Hour: The Aaron Judge Discovery

Summary

The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz

Local Hour: The Aaron Judge Discovery

Date: March 26, 2026

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Episode Overview

Broadcasting from the Elser Hotel in Downtown Miami, Dan Le Batard, Stugotz, and their ensemble explore a blend of sports, pop culture, and their signature offbeat humor. This "Local Hour" episode pivots around Opening Day in Major League Baseball, the quirks of sports fandom, the rise of streaming in live sports (especially with Netflix and MLB), and a running fascination with athlete ages—especially Aaron Judge. The crew also dives into fan stories, Heat basketball, and the oddities of international sports culture.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Most Surprising Places to Encounter Fans

Theme: How far the show’s influence and sports fandom stretches globally.

• Dan LeBatard marvels at unexpectedly finding fans in Australia, and especially the Philippines, attributing the latter to Heat coach Erik Spoelstra ("Filipino Jackson") making Miami culturally relevant there.
  • "I’m always surprised at the reach of some of this..." (01:15)
• Mike shares he was "Hawaii’s national morning sports radio show" for a stretch.
  • "The place that surprised me the most in terms of sheer volume was when I was in Hawaii..." (02:35)
• Zaz and others share their awkward fan encounters—bathroom stalls included.

2. "Looks Like" Game and Heat/NBA Talk

Theme: Blending sports banter with music and humor.

• Musical segment riffing on "Looks Like His Back, Jack," playfully comparing sports figures to unlikely lookalikes.
• Dan nudges Jeremy for not getting a baseball-themed version for Opening Day.

3. Baseball Opening Day & Aaron Judge Age Revelation

Theme: Baseball’s kickoff, fantasy baseball, and the shock over players’ ages.

• Jeremy Teshe and crew relive Opening Day: Yankees beat the Giants despite Judge going 0-4 with 4 strikeouts.
  • "Aaron Judge hadn’t looked like that in a baseball game in more than a year." (05:41)
• Mike stuns the crew: "Do you know he’s 33?... Ohtani’s two years younger than Aaron Judge. Aaron Judge is 33 years old." (06:12)
• Ongoing segment where cast discovers Aaron Judge is older than various surprising athletes: Anthony Davis, Jonas Valančiūnas, Jarvis Landry, and many more.
  • “He’s older than Bert Kreischer.” (30:03)
• Dan: "Put it on the poll... Are you shocked that Ohtani is two years younger than Aaron Judge? And also, are you shocked that Aaron Judge is 33 years old?" (06:36)
• Discussion of fantasy baseball rules involving Shohei Ohtani being split into two separate players—hitter and pitcher.

4. The Philippines, Viral Memes, and AI-Generated Sports Fandom

Theme: Sports memes, international fandom, and confusion over what's real.

• Le Batard describes being perplexed by a viral building banner in the Philippines celebrating an 83-point Bam Adebayo game with a photo of Dwight Howard instead ("It’s blue jersey. It’s not even Dwight Howard recently..."). (08:41)
• The crew unpacks the oddities, AI-like nature, and "proud of you" message in the meme.
• Zaz: "People in different parts of the world, they play by different rules... You know who we love? We’re gonna throw him in a Michael Jordan thing with Kobe..." (11:08)

5. Heat Basketball: Up-and-Down Performances & The "Turd Quarter"

Theme: Miami Heat rollercoaster, fan anguish, and NBA trivia.

• Recap of Heat’s win over the Cavaliers, rare praise for Khalil Ware, and ongoing jokes about Miami’s infamous third-quarter slumps ("The Turd Quarter").
  • Dan: "I’ve been hearing it called the turd quarter for four years." (13:16)
• Insistence that this bizarre third-quarter phenomenon "has to be totally random" and unexplainable (13:42).

6. NBA Statistical Oddities & Boredom with Greatness

Theme: Outlandish NBA achievements, especially Nikola Jokic and Luka Dončić.

• Dan: "Jokic again last night... He leads the NBA in rebounds per game, assists per game, triple-doubles... he goes 23-21-19." (14:36)
• Only Jokic has multiple 20+ point, 20+ rebound, 15+ assist games.
• Dan: "We’ve become... I’m so indifferent." (15:31)
• Luka Dončić has more 40-point games than Kawhi and Larry Bird combined.
  • "Luka now has 60 40-point games. That is more than Kawhi and Larry Bird combined." (20:04)
• Historic Timberwolves comeback against Houston: erasing a 13-point overtime deficit, a statistical first (21:27-22:35).

7. MLB’s Netflix Opening Day Broadcast: Revolution or Rejection?

Theme: The future of sports broadcasts, pushback from traditional fans, and the place for comedy in slow sports.

• Netflix’s $50 million, three-year MLB rights: Opening Day, Home Run Derby, Field of Dreams game.
• Fans reacted negatively to Netflix’s pregame coverage: comedians (Bert Kreischer), cross-promotion, lack of focus on baseball tradition.
  • Stugots: "It feels very similar to what Netflix did with WWE... it’s all about Netflix. MLB is not the main attraction..." (25:06)
  • Jeremy Teshe: "It was just an advertisement for itself..." (25:42)
• Traditionalists (and some of the crew) push for classic broadcasts.
  • Dan: "Baseball fans are the last place that wants a comedian around their broadcast... It’s the first place in sports that I want a comedian..." (27:06)
• Discussions on the balancing act between entertainment, accessibility, and respecting hardcore sports fans.

8. Athlete Names That Sound Like Candy Bars

Theme: Playful sidetrack inviting listener participation.

• Brainstorming game: Athletes whose names could be mistaken for candy bars ("Lars Nootbaar" as crowd favorite).
  • Jeremy Teshe: "Where else are you gonna get players who sound like candy bars, when Lars Nootbar comes into town?" (29:53)

9. Barry Bonds Returns, Tells Yankees Story

Theme: Baseball legend and his mythic New York almost-story.

• Barry Bonds on Netflix’s MLB coverage recounts a negotiation with the Yankees where George Steinbrenner gave an ultimatum, leading Bonds to hang up and sign with the Giants:
  • "George isn’t here anymore, so I can tell the truth, right? Well, I would have been [with] the Yankees, but Steinbrenner... you have to sign by 2:00... and I just hung the phone up." (36:36)
• Dan questions the veracity: "Do you believe that story?" (37:28)

10. Athlete Aging, PEDs, and Performance

Theme: When is the drop-off, and how much do steroids matter?

• Mike & Dan: Only outliers improve after age 33 (Paul O’Neill, Barry Bonds, with caveats)—implying fans should brace for an Aaron Judge slowdown:
  • "There’s the normal human aging process and then there’s going through the pharmacy and changing everything..." (40:23)
• Jokes about Gary Sheffield’s legendary "bat speed" and his stare-down with Pedro Martinez.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Dan (On global fans): "Our show’s very popular in the Philippines, and it’s because of Erik Spoelstra... Filipino Jackson and all of that stuff made him very popular in the Philippines." (01:15)
• Mike (On Hawaii Fandom): "I wasn’t aware that we were essentially, for a while there, Hawaii’s national morning sports radio show." (02:35)
• Mike (On Judge/Ohtani): "Ohtani’s two years younger than Aaron Judge. Aaron Judge is 33 years old." (06:12)
• Dan (On disbelief over athlete ages): "Put it on the poll... are you shocked that Aaron Judge is 33 years old?" (06:36)
• Jeremy Teshe (On Netflix pregame): "It was just an advertisement for itself... so many different promotions for their programming." (25:42)
• Dan (On streaming & tradition): "If you’re inviting the streaming services into the game... you’ve got to allow them to change some of what it is that you’re doing in the future. But... baseball fans are going to be more reluctant than any other fans." (27:06)
• Barry Bonds (On the Yankees negotiation): "George isn’t here anymore, so I can tell the truth, right? ... you have to sign the contract by 2:00 this afternoon. And I said, excuse me. And I just hung the phone up." (36:36)
• Dan (On performance-boosted aging athletes): "There’s the normal human aging process and then there’s going through the pharmacy and changing everything and playing until you’re 40 years old..." (40:23)

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Important Timestamps

• [01:15] – Dan’s surprise at global show fandom (Australia, Philippines).
• [02:35] – Mike on "Hawaii’s national morning sports radio show."
• [06:12] – Mike’s revelation that Aaron Judge is 33 (and Ohtani is younger).
• [13:16] – Miami Heat and the "Turd Quarter" issue.
• [14:36] – Jokic’s historic stat line.
• [20:04] – Luka Dončić surpasses Kawhi + Larry Bird in 40-point games.
• [21:27] – Minnesota erases a 13-point OT deficit, a statistical first.
• [25:42] – Critique of Netflix’s MLB Opening Day pregame show.
• [27:06] – Dan: "Baseball fans are the last place that wants a comedian around their broadcast..."
• [29:53] – "Athletes who sound like candy bars" game begins.
• [36:36] – Barry Bonds tells the Yankees contract ultimatum story.
• [40:23] – Dan on "human aging" vs "pharmacy" in MLB careers.

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Tone & Style

The episode features the show's classic mix: irreverent, fast-paced, and full of inside jokes, playful branded polls, and light-hearted ribbing about sports, pop culture, and themselves. The crew seamlessly segues from earnest sports analysis to absurdist games and meta-media commentary, inviting listeners to join in on both the mockery and the nostalgia.

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For Further Listening or Engagement

• Participate in the day’s polls ("Are you shocked that Aaron Judge is 33?" etc.)
• Tweet athlete names that sound like candy bars
• Reflect on what makes a good (or bad) sports broadcast in the streaming era

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This summary gives you a comprehensive look at the content, jokes, debates, and tangents that make the Dan Le Batard Show both a sports institution and a cultural comedy show—perfect even if you missed the episode.

Transcript

[Mike]

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[Dan LeBatard]

Ugh.

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[Zaz]

Hey, still got my hoodie?

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[Dan LeBatard]

I'd like to know the answer to this question from all of you. The place where you've been most surprised to run into a fan of the show. Because I'm always surprised at the reach of some of this and have been for a long time. Australia, we have a big following and the one that surprised me the most. Although when it was explained to me, I understood it better. Our show's very popular in the Philippines, and it's because of Eric Spoelstra. It's because of everything that happened in 2010 with our show and that team and Filipino Jackson and all of that stuff made him very popular in the Philippines. Zaz. Every time Zaz goes somewhere, he tells me, whether it's the Grand Canyon or Notre Dame, anytime he goes somewhere, he's surprised, even though he just joined us, that someone is walking up to him and catching him off guard. So what's the answer to that question around the room?

[Stugats]

What was the question?

[Jeremy]

I would say the most awkward place I've met a fan is in the bathroom stall at Oktoberfest in Palm Beach.

[Zaz]

Is it awkward or is it random?

[Dan LeBatard]

What was the question? Is where Zaz started the bidding?

[Mike]

Where is. Where have you been most surprised to find a fan of the show?

[Stugats]

Okay. Because, like, yeah, I remember now because you asked that and then you did a lot of talking after and then laid out. I. I forgot the I didn't remember the question.

[Mike]

I mean, when we were on espn, it would happen. Whenever I would travel, like over to Europe, I would always run into folks. So the place that surprised me the most in terms of like sheer volume was when I was in Hawaii and I wasn't aware that we were essentially, for a while there, Hawaii's national morning sports radio show.

[Dan LeBatard]

That one caught me off guard too. When I went to Hawaii, I was treated the way that I'm treated in Miami. It was. And I had no idea. Like I just, any, any restaurant I would walk into, all of a sudden it would have the, the tables ready for us and people would be excited.

[Mike]

And that's just a five star resort.

[Jeremy]

It couldn't have been the bungalow that you had.

[Dan LeBatard]

No, it's what Mike said. It's, it's the same thing that happened to Mike except it happened to me.

[Jeremy]

You're being carried on a chariot.

[Dan LeBatard]

Yeah, and that by Mike. So you can imagine how excited they were to meet me. When they were excited down there to meet Mike, just Mike Purdue was the number one seed. As Kirk cousin look like JCPenney.

[Martin]

Looks like his back Jack hits racket time so make a chart. Does Jeff and Gundy look just like the queen of heart? Does Adam Silver look like a torpedo bat? Let's get Martin sadness back on track Looks like his back Jack

[Barry Bonds]

when the

[Martin]

donuts are in front of you

[Barry Bonds]

does

[Martin]

Eddie Reeves say don't mind if I

[Jeremy]

do

[Martin]

Adam Silver looks like a cute kid thing or fried a bag of onion ring When Timmy laughs until he hats that's how you know that looks like his bag Jack

[Dan LeBatard]

Let me hear

[Martin]

you say what's love? Looks like his back, Jack let's keep on doing it every year though. Ed Bur says Piston welcome to Tanjir. Jeff Fisher looks like shotgunning beers at a NASCAR track. If you say this game the best I'll say the gag.

[Dan LeBatard]

Looks like his back, Jack Northwestern is gone from the tournament. Jim Harbaugh looks like a casket Salesman Fairleigh Dickinson 16 seed repped by Mike McDaniel look like a college student on a full ride scholarship for esports.

[Stugats]

What a run.

[Martin]

Looks like he's back, Jack.

[Dan LeBatard]

Jeremy has been wandering around here muttering under his breath not understanding why it is we didn't make a baseball is back Jack introduction for him. We did it for basketball. We did it for high lie. We did it for Looks like we did not do it for baseball.

[Jeremy]

We're getting to it.

[Jeremy Teshe]

That's right.

[Dan LeBatard]

Pitch clock will be on the show today during the show, you will have an hour two. You will get some opening day celebration and also a live pitch clock today at 3:00 with Jeremy Teshe and Chris Cody. Because baseball opened last night. The Giants got clubbed. The Yankees got four strikeouts from Aaron Judge and still crushed the Giants. Aaron Judge hadn't looked like that in a baseball game in more than a year.

[Stugats]

Good showing coming off the WBC for fans.

[Jeremy Teshe]

He has as many ribbies as the Giants.

[Mike]

Do you know, he's 33. That one surprised me. I was picking number one overall in the fantasy baseball because I do fantasy baseball just so I can know some of these names. And it was, you know, it's between Judge and Ohtani, so I Google the age just to see like this is usually. Let me see if one of these guys I can forecast him dropping off. Ohtani's two years younger than Aaron Judge. Aaron Judge is 33 years old.

[Dan LeBatard]

Good pick.

[Mike]

Honestly, I'm shocked how good Aaron Judge is.

[Dan LeBatard]

Put it on the Polette lebatard show. Are you shocked that Ohtani is two years younger than Aaron Judge? And also, are you shocked that Aaron Judge is 33 years old?

[Stugats]

When you draft Shohei Ohtani in your fantasy baseball league, the hitter, he can only be one.

[Mike]

He's. He's two different players in fantasy baseball, he's Shohei.

[Stugats]

Somebody drafts him as a hitter and somebody drafts him as a pitcher.

[Mike]

I mean, that's some bs. This has been like the known rule with Ohtani for years.

[Jeremy]

Just feel like that's how rare. That's how rare. I do fancy baseball, but I would just think you get this guy, you use them both ways.

[Jeremy Teshe]

Yeah, I've played in leagues where that's the case.

[Mike]

Really, you can just. That's a cheat code. He's been ripped off players. No, no, no. Most in most leagues, trust me, this is a.

[Stugats]

So in your league, two teams have Shohei Ohtani.

[Mike]

One has the Shohei Ohtani, the pitcher who's a completely different person than Shohei Ohtani, the utility.

[Stugats]

That's whack, right?

[Jeremy]

As a pitcher, he's more, you know, normal.

[Dan LeBatard]

I was mentioning during the shadow show for a reason, that we have a lot of fan base in the Philippines, as does in general, the Miami Heat because their coach is Filipino Jackson. And the thing that I saw yesterday that I didn't believe was real, the people here have been making fun of me because I didn't see that Jurassic Park Xfinity commercial until yesterday. And I was confused. And it's the first time I Saw it and I'm like, those people aren't real. Like, what have they done to these people's faces?

[Jeremy]

At which point we were confused. We're like, is he talking about that commercial from a few months ago?

[Dan LeBatard]

Yeah, the one from the Super Bowl. I didn't see it for the first time until yesterday, but because everything in the algorithm is tricking me because I can't trust the Internet because we're in a post truth apocalypse, basically anything I see, I'm questioning. And I didn't believe that the way that the Philippines was celebrating Bam Adebayo's 83 point performance on a building, I didn't believe that this was real.

[Mike]

There is like one shop there definitely that does this every time. They congratulated Michael Jordan on winning at nascar and it was like somebody else's picture.

[Stugats]

Philippines is proud of you.

[Mike]

Yeah. They do this and get the attention

[Dan LeBatard]

and it works every time for the audio audience. We just put up a side of a building banner celebrating Bam Adebayo's 83 point performance, which what is clearly a photo of Dwight Howard back when he was with the Magic. Like it's blue jersey. It's not even Dwight Howard recently is.

[Mike]

It's one of the greatest things I've ever seen.

[Dan LeBatard]

It is. It is tremendous. It's. But what, what you see around him like that Simone Fontechio in the background now.

[Jeremy]

That one.

[Dan LeBatard]

Yeah. Well, but Simone Fontechio was Happy Adnan Burke's son. The part that I'm confused by is it looks like behind Dwight Howard, it's clearly the Heat celebration that I think was Bam being interviewed. But they knocked out Bam and they put Dwight how in there? Like, I'm pretty sure the rest of that celebration is the Dwight Howard. I'm sorry, now I'm making the mistake. The Bam Adebayo interview immediately after he had 83 points. Jeremy, is that background? Like, did they just swap out. Was Bam there? And now it's. It's Dwight Howard. But they could have just used Bam.

[Jeremy Teshe]

It just feels a little AI generated because if you look not just at the player, that's supposed to look like Uncanny Valley, Simone Fontechio over Dwight Howard's right shoulder. But then there's a player screaming.

[Jeremy]

Is that supposed to be Tyler Hero?

[Jeremy Teshe]

I think it's Vlad golden. So I can't tell. Wearing red.

[Jeremy]

That's a Heat player.

[Jeremy Teshe]

He were wearing red.

[Dan LeBatard]

Oh, then that's.

[Jeremy Teshe]

Then that's probably got to be the same photo. But I just don't understand why there's Photoshop Of Dwight Howard. Clearly with veneers, by the way. Like, there's. If there's just something off. Look at all of it.

[Stugats]

Look, the guy wearing the white headband there. Is that not Bam.

[Jeremy Teshe]

Oh, that Bam right there behind.

[Mike]

Holy.

[Jeremy]

That's Bam.

[Dan LeBatard]

That has to be.

[Stugats]

That's Bam.

[Dan LeBatard]

That is Bam. I'm sorry, does congratulations have an S at the end?

[Stugats]

No.

[Zaz]

Congratulation. Also, if you look down, it says the Philippines is proud of you.

[Jeremy Teshe]

It's just two U's, right?

[Zaz]

It's not Y O, U.

[Dan LeBatard]

Who are they proud of, though? Dwight Howard.

[Zaz]

Proud of you.

[Dan LeBatard]

Bam is in the photo.

[Show Announcer]

Yes.

[Dan LeBatard]

Behind. Engulfed.

[Jeremy Teshe]

Incredible.

[Dan LeBatard]

Engulfed by Orlando. That is correct.

[Stugats]

I mean, maybe that. Maybe they. They're. They know that that right there is Bam at a bio and they're just like, you know, this picture would be better. Let's put Dwight Howard in it, too.

[Jeremy Teshe]

He's more recognizable, maybe to the Filipino fan base.

[Zaz]

People in different parts of the country, there are different parts of the world, they play by different rules.

[Dan LeBatard]

Yeah.

[Zaz]

They're like, you know who we love? We love Kobe. We're going to throw him in a Michael Jordan thing. They're going to be hugging and they were just going to sell that. When I went over to. To Thailand very famously for my honeymoon.

[Jeremy]

And Covid.

[Zaz]

Yeah. Brought Covid back. They have so many things for sale there that you cannot find that are very risque and very, like, not good. But they're. But they sell them everywhere, in every single street corner.

[Dan LeBatard]

The Miami Heat win last night against the Cleveland Cavaliers to end their losing streak. It was a good win. Khalil Ware played very well and got the rarest of things. Filipino Jackson in the locker room, giving him praise. You see Khalil Ware back there? Is that Dwight Howard? Khalil Ware is hiding in the background, as he often does when SPO is speaking, because bad things usually come out of Spo's mouth headed Khilil Ware's way. But not after last night. K. Damn right, man, you're big. You're big tonight. That changes things for us.

[Stugats]

Smattering of applause plus 32 in 20 minutes. If you played the whole game, they'd won by like a hundred. Why don't you play more the way

[Dan LeBatard]

that Cleveland won against Miami to end their last playoff run?

[Stugats]

Yo, that's in the past, Dan.

[Jeremy Teshe]

That is in the past.

[Dan LeBatard]

So is last night's game.

[Stugats]

Well, they're playing them again tomorrow, so I wouldn't look too far in the past. It's coming up.

[Jeremy]

What a roller coaster. Last night's game was big lead blow. The big lead the group chat ever. Oh, we stink. We suck again. And then they have a good fourth quarter.

[Stugats]

Yo, Pell Larson's my dog. I love watching.

[Mike]

How is this third quarter thing still happening?

[Stugats]

Crazy.

[Jeremy Teshe]

It's crazy.

[Mike]

It's been a decade.

[Jeremy Teshe]

No, it was great because they had a little stretch here and it was leading into the win streak. And then throughout the win streak where they had won something like 11 or 12 straight third quarters, they had fixed the problem. And Solana, Alex. Solana asked SPO about it. Alejandro, look, that SPO gave Solana. And then the next game, it ended.

[Dan LeBatard]

It hasn't ended. I've been hearing it called the turd quarter for four years.

[Mike]

Yeah, this dates back to LeBron days. Yeah, it's back. We would always struggle in the third quarter for whatever reason. It's like part of. They should put that in the culture mantra that they put on the court occasionally. You know, hardest working.

[Jeremy]

Worst third quarter.

[Mike]

Yeah, worst third quarter.

[Dan LeBatard]

Oh, but that fourth quarter, that can't be a thing.

[Jeremy]

Throwing it in the sand. Yeah, that probably won't work.

[Dan LeBatard]

It has to be totally random. There's not an explanation for that. That is not something that scientists, numerologists, analysts. That's not something anyone in basketball is going to be able to explain. In fact, it's gotta be a weird anomaly. Like I've heard that for too long and that makes no sense. There's not a. There's no such thing as a team. That's only bad in the third quarter.

[Jeremy Teshe]

I would bet that there are several teams and fan bases around the league that feel the same way. Because basketball is so random and is, as they say, a game runs. And so you take those double digit leads and then the team comes back. The thing though is that you've mentioned over the last couple of years, the Heat have blown more double digit leads than anybody in basketball. They did it last night. They lose that game most of this season. And then they were able to pull it out last night with like you mentioned, like Pella Larson diving on the floor for loose balls and Khalil Ware and bam. Playing together on the floor down the stretch.

[Dan LeBatard]

Let me give you some basketball stuff from last night because this stat. Jokic again last night and I think, don't we have imaging that is boards. Get me the imaging that is just bored of Jokic being great because he leads the NBA in rebounds per game. He leads the NBA in assists per game. He leads the NBA in triple double

[Stugats]

offensive though, to Nick Wright that he's mentioned in the MVP conversation.

[Dan LeBatard]

Fourth.

[Zaz]

At fourth, by the way.

[Dan LeBatard]

He's averaging more points per game, rebounds per game, assists per game and true shooting percentage than his last MVP season. And last night he goes 23 points, 21 rebounds, 19 assists. He's got two such games on his his resume. Everyone else in NBA history has zero such games in their history. Here's a start of the day from that big man.

[Mike]

Usually the other way around.

[Dan LeBatard]

Godlike skills put on display. But we're feeling so blase. Setting records all the time. We've become. I'm so indifferent.

[Mike]

You have another stat.

[Dan LeBatard]

We're all bored. What the hey, Jokic stat of the day?

[Mike]

We need WEMBY vs. Jokic. The sport needs it. The world needs it.

[Zaz]

Also another quiet 50 point game from Jamal Murray, who only has 50 point games.

[Mike]

He's backjack.

[Dan LeBatard]

Luka is the first player Luka is the first player to average 40 points a game over a six game span. All on the road since Michael Jordan in 1986.

[Mike]

Hey, Roy, buddy. Yo. You know that energy shift when the game gets good and everybody all together in unison knows to stand up on their feet? Oh, absolutely, Mike. Yeah. You've been at many big time sporting events. You know that moment quite well. That's what it's like when you take your first sip of Cuervo. Oh, delicious. It's the signal that says, we're not checking the time anymore, pal. It's when small talk turns into stories. Cuervo, man. It's that high five. A random stranger effect. That's right. The game is popping. You're hugging people you never met before. That's the kind of energy that Cuervo brings. It's so smooth, so delicious. That's the Cuervo effect. Keep it Cuervo.

[DraftKings Announcer]

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[Dan LeBatard]

Yes, I know.

[DraftKings Announcer]

March is more than half halfway over.

[Dan LeBatard]

Don't bog me down with details. Just stick with me here.

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[Dan LeBatard]

You kind of like me.

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[Dan LeBatard]

Hey, who wants to hear me do

[DraftKings Announcer]

that crazy noise again?

[Dan LeBatard]

I do.

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[Mike]

Don LeBatard it sounds to me like

[Jeremy Teshe]

everybody could use a hug because a

[Mike]

hug is always the right size. Stugats All I have put in my body today is three cups of coffee

[Dan LeBatard]

and an entire cup of coffee go to the penalty box.

[Jeremy]

Don't let him fool you. He said in the break that he's jittery.

[Show Announcer]

This is the Dan Levatar show with the St Gods.

[Dan LeBatard]

Give me the other stat of the day music. Chris not the long version, the short version. I've got another stat of the day for you that is Luca related.

[Martin]

It

[Show Announcer]

start of the day, start of the day it is the start of the day Start of the day start of the day it is the start of the day Start of the day start of the day it is the start of the day.

[Mike]

This is the order.

[Show Announcer]

Start of the day, start of the day it is the start of the day.

[Dan LeBatard]

Luka now has 6040 point games. That is more than Kawhi and Larry Bird combined. How old is Luka?

[Zaz]

27.

[Dan LeBatard]

So seven years younger than Aaron Judge because Aaron Judge turns 34 next month

[Zaz]

and he just turned 27 February 28th.

[Dan LeBatard]

Think about what I just said because Kawhi's been in the league for a long time and Larry Bird obviously was in the league for a long time. That's crazy. That stat is crazy. But the craziest thing to happen last night in basketball was that Minnesota Houston overtime. You want to take a guess? Zaz? How Many times In the last three decades, just a team has been up by 10 plus points in overtime. Just take a guess. Last three decades, how many times has a team been up by 10 get up by 10 points?

[Stugats]

Not a lot. And when you are, it would be like really late in the overtime.

[Dan LeBatard]

It's been 180 times. Okay, so basically over 30. It happens five times. An average of five times a season where a team wins in overtime by 10 plus points. But it's not happened at all that a team rallies to beat the team that got up by 10 points.

[Stugats]

Yeah. Cause normally you build a 10 point lead with no time remaining.

[Dan LeBatard]

It doesn't make any sense that the Minnesota Timberwolves, even in the age of three, and even though you only need five threes to get 15 straight points, it makes no sense that Minnesota had the time in that game to erase a 10, a 13 point lead that Houston had. Can you imagine if you're betting on that game and you have Houston and I'm assuming the point spread in that game was something that was close, and you have Houston in overtime and you were rooting for overtime, you were rooting for the game to get, get to overtime and you're up 13 points and then you lose the game because Minnesota does something that is, that hasn't been done since they, since they began tracking this stuff, which is they erase a 13 point lead in overtime. Put it on the poll at Lebatar show. Did you think it was possible for a basketball team to erase a 13 point lead in overtime? Because I didn't think it was mathematically possible to get up 13 points and then have time remaining in a five minute overtime to erase a 13 point lead.

[Stugats]

That's the most impressive part. They went up by 11. They went up by double figures just a minute 35 into overtime. So yes, the Wolves had some time to come back. 3 minutes and 25 seconds. But I wonder what the math is like with 3 minutes and 25 seconds left in overtime. Could the Rockets have just had consecutive 24 second violations and the Wolves just not had enough time to come back from an 11 point deficit?

[Dan LeBatard]

Let me think about this for a second. So 24, 24. You're gonna make me do math on the show in real time. So just call your math friends. Three minutes has.

[Stugats]

It's 205 seconds.

[Dan LeBatard]

So it's at least six possessions. Seven possessions. Yes, you can. If you do it that way they can make seven threes and come back on you. It's not mathematically impossible. Even if they drain the shot clock. But it's pretty close. And it's. And the whole thing is, is an absurdity. Like, I'm Tony, you know basketball. You played basketball for a long time. If I come up to you and I simply say, there's A team up 13 in overtime, do you think that can happen in a minute and a half?

[Mike]

Do you think.

[Dan LeBatard]

Do you think that in a minute and a half I can get to an overtime where a team is up 13 again?

[Zaz]

You have to hit five threes in a row. Then the other team comes down and hits nothing. And at that point, the other team's packing in and being like, right, all. All right, we're not coming back.

[Jeremy]

There's nothing to do here.

[Mike]

Aaron Judge is two years older than Austin Hooper.

[Dan LeBatard]

That was shocking, what you said, that Aaron Judge is 33, and he turns 34 in a month. There were a lot of complaints about that Netflix broadcast. Baseball fans do not like their product bleeped with. They are very protective about their product. And do you guys know any of the details of what Netflix has bought for three years at $50 million? They get opening day, they get the Home Run Derby, and they get the Field of Dreams game.

[Stugats]

Ooh, I like the Field of Dreams game.

[Dan LeBatard]

But that's what they get every year. Opening day. They started the season on Netflix. And it appears that people are mad at Netflix because it's not a traditional broadcast. This happened with Apple as well. This happened to Katie Nolan. Bert Kreischer evidently last night really annoyed people. Bert Kreischer can annoy people. And Bert Kreischer on your baseball broadcast is not something I would do. If Dennis Miller and Tony Kornheiser don't work on the Monday Night Football broadcast. And you think that is some kind of sacred. A comedian around baseball is just simply not going to work on the broadcast, given what the customer base is.

[Stugats]

I saw some of it, but it appears to me a lot of the reaction that I'm getting and a lot of the things that I see that the Netflix debut broadcast did last night, it feels very similar to what Netflix did with WWE when Monday Night Raw debuted on Netflix, where it became like just, it's, hey, it's all about Netflix. What about it doesn't. It doesn't matter so much. Monday Night Raw is not the main attraction. MLB is on the main attraction. It's Netflix. We're going to do Netflix.

[Mike]

Yeah. We're not just the broadcast partner. We're the chief advertiser.

[Stugats]

Yeah.

[Jeremy Teshe]

It was just an advertisement for Itself like that was everybody's issue. And Kreischer was in the Pre game in McCovey Cove and he's not doing a story, he's just being Burt Kreischer out there. And so it's. That's one of several things. Like there were so many different promotions for their programming where they had John Cena explaining the ABS system sort of incoherently and they had Kreischer there and they had a teaser for the Stranger Things cartoon that's coming out. Like they had all of this sort of integrated to the pregame show and the broadcast. When it's opening day, what you want in your pregame show is hype for the major league season.

[Jeremy]

I was going to say you must be talking mainly pregame because I got home after the game had started and it seemed like a normal broadcast in the game.

[Jeremy Teshe]

That's right, the normal. That's the thing is a lot of the criticism came from the pregame show. Their broadcast was relatively traditional.

[Stugats]

I saw the broadcast though getting crushed for their spot with Rob Manfred.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Jeremy Teshe]

Because they didn't ask anything of. Of note whatsoever as the league is in a really interesting time now. What do you expect?

[Dan LeBatard]

Questions.

[Jeremy Teshe]

Easy to say.

[Zaz]

Exactly.

[Jeremy]

Right. When Adam Silver joins the NBA broadcast, they just talk. They don't give them hard hitting questions.

[Jeremy Teshe]

Not necessarily hard hitting questions, but like any questions about what's going on, they can have a canned answer. They don't have to push back. But they pretty much avoided anything that was of interest to people around the league. When you're going to hear from the

[Dan LeBatard]

commissioner, the part that is interesting to me about this as all of this changes and I've wanted changes in broadcasting for a long time but. But when you make a change and your customer base objects, then what ESPN does is they go grab Joe Buck and Aikman, they make them the most expensive things and they say please fix everything we've got going on here by just making it the most traditional of things. That's what fans want. If you're inviting the streaming services into the game, if they represent the future of all of this, because you see that some of these regional networks are falling apart because they need the of help of the big daddies here. You've got to allow them to change some of what it is that you're doing in the future. But baseball fans are going to be more reluctant than any other fans. I would love comedians to be around the broadcast. I would like more entertainment and I can't think of a game that's slower other than cricket. That would allow me for more room to have comedians as part of a broadcast. You already have a number of things that baseball has been willing to change. They are micing the players in a way that players are miked while making plays in the field because they want to give you more and more access. We were talking about the NCAA tournament. Now that you find it all over hbo, Max and everywhere else, they're interviewing the players at halftime. They're giving more and more access in exchange for this money. But you can only push the envelope so much, and you can't do it with baseball fans. Like, baseball fans are the last place that wants a comedian around their broadcast. But it's the first place in sports that I want a comedian around the broadcast because the comedian has plenty of room to stretch out during a baseball broadcast.

[Jeremy Teshe]

Well, that's why you get me on Marlins tv. But what people wanted on Netflix was Elle Duncan was running point with CC Sabathia and Barry Bonds and Albert Pujols and Anthony Rizzo. Like, all of these people who are involved.

[Stugats]

Is that how you pronounce it?

[Barry Bonds]

Yeah.

[Dan LeBatard]

Is that where you thought to interrupt him? Because me, I didn't even see Mike and Tony, and I looked up and they were shaking their head, and they. They were shaking their head about the same thing I was, I'm assuming, which is, if you want a comedian, that's why you go find Jeremy.

[Mike]

That was one of the things. Also, I just discovered Aaron Judge is like a full year older than Anthony Davis.

[Depop Advertiser]

Whoa.

[Zaz]

That's crazy.

[Dan LeBatard]

But Pujols put it on the poll at Lebatard show. Are you surprised that Aaron Judge is a full year older than Anthony Davis? You were saying, Jeremy, who you are?

[Jeremy Teshe]

Pooh Holz.

[Zaz]

With an L, by the way.

[Jeremy Teshe]

You're asking me to say Poohs?

[Stugats]

Yeah, just, you know, say his name properly. That's all.

[Jeremy Teshe]

Albert Pujols.

[Mike]

He's older than Harrison Barnes.

[Dan LeBatard]

Marlins dot tv.

[Jeremy Teshe]

Yeah, that's right.

[Dan LeBatard]

Where you find the comedy stylings of Jeremy?

[Jeremy Teshe]

Where else are you gonna get players who sound like candy bars when Lars Newt Bar comes into town?

[Mike]

Dan, he's older than Jonas Valencunas.

[Zaz]

Can't be true. You're making things up. No, you're making things up.

[Mike]

I mean, this is according to famousbirthdays.com he's older than Bert Kreischer.

[Stugats]

Jonas Valanchunas is on famousbirthdays.com yeah, so

[Mike]

is like an antetokounmpo. That's not the famous one.

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[Dan LeBatard]

at the Home Depot.

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[Dan LeBatard]

Rated R. Don LeBatard Punctuate this segment with what is your strike three call?

[Jeremy]

Strike one would be strike.

[Jeremy Teshe]

And then you stand up and you

[Jeremy]

give a good point to the right stugats. That's same for strike two. But strike three. You get down low. You got your hands behind the camera. Catcher. All right. The right arm goes up into the air.

[Dan LeBatard]

Yeah.

[Jeremy]

And then you finish it with the punch. The right arm flings way up into the air.

[Dan LeBatard]

I wish I could see that air. Audio's great.

[Show Announcer]

This is the Dan Levatar show with the stugats.

[Dan LeBatard]

I'd like some more of the names on that list of athletes who sound like candy bars.

[Jeremy Teshe]

I'm on it. I'm going to my email right now

[Dan LeBatard]

to find that list. Well, but let's include the audience here.

[Mike]

Shotgun older than Victor Oladipo.

[Dan LeBatard]

Let's include the audience on this game because it's a good game. Just athletes throughout sports history who sound like candy bars. You can imagine either their first or last name being a candy bar. I don't want you to take the Almond Joys of the world and Then just, you know, find some player named Joy. I want you to give me. I want you to give me just. You don't want it farted out, so

[Stugats]

you're not looking for it.

[Dan LeBatard]

I want it farmed out, not farted out.

[Jeremy Teshe]

You don't want Frank Hershey.

[Mike]

This is unbelievable.

[Jeremy Teshe]

Or Oscar Charleston Chu.

[Mike]

I mean, Austin Rivers is out of the league. He's doing broadcast. He's broadcasting. And he's younger than Aaron Judge.

[Dan LeBatard]

Aaron Judge turns 34 in a month. Mike is already waiting for the downfall. He's saying it was last night, four strikeouts. That hasn't happened to Judge since 2024. Can you tell me, Jeremy, how many balls have been harder than. Giancarlo Stanton had a single in that game that was 115 miles an hour. And I'm sure that he is at the top of the list of players in the sport who hit the ball the hardest.

[Mike]

He's older than Shabazz Muhammad, who famously lied about his age.

[Stugats]

Gary Sheffield was the guy who, like the third base coach, is afraid when Gary Sheffield would get up to bat. And Stanton is probably hitting the ball so much harder.

[Dan LeBatard]

I really enjoyed. I'm assuming so. Although Gary Sheffield represents the best bat speed I've ever seen, maybe there's somebody else who has better bat speed that somebody can think of. But when I think of bat speed, the first thing I think of is Gary Sheffield.

[Jeremy]

Babe Ruth,

[Mike]

he's older than Johnny Manziel.

[Dan LeBatard]

I heard a story Gary Sheffield told on all the Smoke about Pedro Martinez hitting him. And it was just so funny to hear his analysis and see the accompanying video. Pedro Martinez, Gary Sheffield was told by some of his teammates to try and bother Pedro Martinez by stepping out of the box a couple of times mid at bat. And he did it a couple of times. And then Pedro just hit him.

[Stugats]

He was such a badass. Pedro.

[Dan LeBatard]

Pedro was a badass, but Sheffield was also a badass. And so you saw them staring at each other as Gary Sheffield sort of walked to the mound. And Sheffield is explaining to the all the smoke guys, he said, saying, I was looking at Pedro's face to just see if he raised an eyebrow at me, if a lip moved, if he made one movement with his face, I was going to charge them out. But Pedro just stared at him unblinking and never move. Like, purposely never moved an eyebrow, never moved. Nothing on his face moved. And so Gary's like, okay, all right, you're lucky. That's good. But if one thing I was going to go over there, one thing on your face moves. I'm going to charge the mound. And Pedro just stared at him without ever saying anything.

[Mike]

Aaron Judge is older than Jarvis Landry.

[Jeremy]

You had to be lying about Bert Kreischer.

[Mike]

You got me there.

[Dan LeBatard]

Let's get to some sound from Barry Bonds during the telecast. Badger, because I really do want more Barry Bonds with my telecast. And they, I don't know if they've welcomed him back to baseball. Like, I don't know what his situation is with that park. Jeremy, didn't they. Did they take down his statue? Weren't there some issues there because of the steroids where he. It felt like he was not somebody who was very welcomed. When baseball is good in San Francisco, as it has been for many years,

[Jeremy Teshe]

San Francisco is really welcoming him back. What it is, is he hadn't gotten a statue despite the fact that he should have. And In July of 2025, they announced he would be getting a statue in San Francisco.

[Dan LeBatard]

Okay, so finally some of this stuff is thawed. Even though they haven't put him in the hall of Fame, even though he's the best player I've ever seen other than Shohei Ohtani. And here he is during the broadcast telling a story had not heard before about George Steinbrenner.

[Barry Bonds]

George isn't here anymore, so I can tell the truth, right? Well, I would have been the Yankees, but Steinbrenner got on the phone and they called us and they told me, barry, we're going to give you the. The money. The highest paid player at that time, but you have to sign the contract by 2:00 clock this afternoon. And I said, excuse me. And I just hung the phone up.

[Martin]

Wow.

[Jeremy Teshe]

Wow.

[Barry Bonds]

And I went to go get lunch watching my, you know, Dennis Gilbert, my agent. Then we're like, what do you know? You just did. I'm like, did you know what he just said? I just said, forget it. And I went to go get. By the time I walked down the street to go get lunch, I said, let me just think about this. The Giants called me and I said, I'm going home.

[Jeremy]

Why does he talk like someone's holding his nose?

[Barry Bonds]

George isn't here anymore, so I can tell the truth.

[Dan LeBatard]

It sounds like he's wearing a scuba mask and is at the bottom of McCovey Cove.

[Barry Bonds]

George isn't here anymore, so I can tell the truth. Right?

[Dan LeBatard]

Do you believe that story?

[Stugats]

The part where I'm hesitant is the way that I remember it, it was always a foregone conclusion that he was gonna leave the Pirates and go to the Giants. But now he's saying that he, he was going to go to the Yankees. So I don't know.

[Dan LeBatard]

I like a couple of negotiating stories that I've heard in my time. But you guys have heard Dan Patrick on this show tell one of the best ones which, which is they offered him Dan Patrick, the Price is Right job that ended up going to Drew Carey. He was offered it, but he had to accept it without knowing what it paid because Bob Barker and they are just totally old school. So this suggests that Drew Carey took that job without knowing what it paid. Dan Patrick turned it down because he's like, what do you mean? I'm not going to take that job. Job. What it's got to be one of the best jobs in the history of game shows. Correct.

[Stugats]

Old school is accepting a job without knowing what the salary is.

[Dan LeBatard]

Well, I just think that Price is Right comes from a different time and they probably want to know how much. Do you really actually want to be a part of the family? It can't just be about money.

[Zaz]

I want to be a part of the family when I know what I'm getting paid.

[Mike]

Have you been following what's going on

[Dan LeBatard]

with Bob Barker, the late Bob Barker and the documentaries being made about how toxic an environment that was?

[Mike]

Yeah. About, you know, allegations being his sex slave and whatnot.

[Jeremy]

What?

[Dan LeBatard]

Evidently Jeremy hasn't heard about this. Look up some details for me.

[Mike]

Aaron Judge is also older than Bob Bark.

[Jeremy]

Back to Bonds real fast. The one thing I do like about that story, you don't get the most out of a negotiation unless you hang up on somebody.

[Jeremy Teshe]

Yeah.

[Jeremy]

If you, if you didn't have a hang up in this negotiation, you didn't get all your.

[Mike]

Let's add David Sampson that. How many times has he hung up the phone as a negotiation tactic? I bet you it's more than once.

[Dan LeBatard]

I'm interested in his thoughts on all the things from Netflix last night, but let's play that sound for him and find out whether or not he thinks that story is true or not. The job ended up being $10 million a year is what the salary was for President Trump.

[Zaz]

Is that a cut for Dan or is it not a cut for Dan? Is he alright?

[Dan LeBatard]

I'm gonna go ahead and say that $10 million a year is a job he would have accepted if he had known that's what it was, a job.

[Mike]

Which one's the craziest one, Anthony Davis or Jarvis Landry? Those right there are the two. Top of the mountain.

[Zaz]

Jarvis is out of the League. But Anthony forever, Victor Olad has been out of it.

[Stugats]

Victor Oladipo is a good one.

[Mike]

There's no way this guy can continue to be this good. He's got to fall off. He's gotta.

[Dan LeBatard]

Traditionally, historically, I think Paul o' Neill is one of the only players ever, mathematically, who has improved after that age. 33 years old is Gary Bonds. Well, right, right. Yes. Barry Bonds also.

[Mike]

How did he do it?

[Dan LeBatard]

I was doing non steroid symptoms.

[Stugats]

Forget about me.

[Mike]

Oh, my God. That's a great Barry Bond Bonds.

[Dan LeBatard]

I do two different classifications of baseball players. There's the steroids and the non steroids. There's normal human aging process and then there's going through the pharmacy and changing everything and playing until you're, you know, 40 years old. But mathematically, this would be the time that Aaron Judge would drop off. And I don't. I don't assume that at 33 years old, but what I saw last night is as bad as Aaron Judge can look.

[Jeremy Teshe]

He called his dressing room daddy's room.

[Mike]

That's actually a play on for me.

[Dan LeBatard]

What other details do you have there? You are going to ruin this for a lot of people. Bob Barker was considered America's sweetest man. He was dating many of the. Dating might not be the right term, but he was doing inappropriate things with a number of.

[Jeremy]

I don't like what we're doing here with the daddy thing because that. That needs, like, you need to hear how it's said. I often around here, I'm like, daddy needs a soda. But like, if that was put in writing of like, I'm walking around here saying, daddy needs.

[Jeremy Teshe]

Yeah.

[Mike]

But handing it to you.

[Dan LeBatard]

There's the rest of the context, but

[Jeremy]

just that isolated ways like Daddy's. Like, I might call my office here.

[Dan LeBatard]

Daddy's.

[Mike]

I get you. That's why it's a play on. We'll keep taking that up.

[Dan LeBatard]

It can't be a play on when.

[Jeremy]

More info on Bob.

[Dan LeBatard]

Jeremy is telling us on the front end that he had sex slaves reported.

[Jeremy]

Like, wait, now, I regret this.

[Dan LeBatard]

Yes.

[Jeremy Teshe]

Beginning of the quote was she told me Bob Barker made my life a nightmare. Then they said Barker always called himself daddy and called his dressing room Daddy's room. And that for more than three years, he forced this person to have sex against her will.

[Mike]

Drew Carey's also got some kinks. Not me. Not like that. That's real bad.

[Jeremy Teshe]

This isn't a kink.

[Dan LeBatard]

That's not kink. That's criminal behavior. Yeah.

[Mike]

Yeah, you're right. Daddy would like to take that back.

[Jeremy]

That's right.

[Jeremy Teshe]

Play on.

[Jeremy]

This is two days in a row where I've kind of just walked into something here that I really regret.

[Dan LeBatard]

I think Daddy's going to have to leave.

[Jeremy]

Who, me?

[Zaz]

Other daddy?

[Dan LeBatard]

Uncle?

[Mike]

I'll go.

[Dan LeBatard]

Minor penalty. Two minutes. I mean, you usually have better judgment than that sex slave. It's not a. It's not a. It's. It's not a kink. Barry Bonds, as part of your broadcast, Is that something that you guys want? And how do you feel in general, Zaz, about the overall of what I'm saying, which is I want more goofiness with my broadcast, but you're not gonna get more goofiness with your broadcast when the fans are so serious about baseball. Like, you cannot. This is a funny time to combine two things here. Netflix is getting into the live sports game because Netflix wants to replace all of television. Wants to beat. YouTube wants to beat everybody wants to be the movies. Wants to be. Television has all the money in the world, and they're getting into the sports game because they want everything. But of course, if they're paying three years, $50 million, which is nothing for them.

[Jeremy]

That sounded really low to me for sports negotiations.

[Dan LeBatard]

Well, but it's just. It's three years and it's just a couple of games.

[Zaz]

It's three things. Right? You said it's opening day.

[Dan LeBatard]

It's a home run derby, but in

[Jeremy]

the NFL, go for like a quarter billion.

[Dan LeBatard]

Yeah, but it's the Field of Dreams game. Yes, it would. It would have a lot of money if it's the NFL, but not the NFL. Famously not the NFL.

[Stugats]

I get the heart because I'm going to come from a hardcore fan perspective. And not that I'm a hardcore baseball fan anymore, but I'll come from that perspective because I understand the hardcore baseball fan not wanting all the extracurricular stuff. It's how I felt when WWE debuted on Netflix. I don't want all this other. So, like, I get some of those complaints. It makes sense to me now. Some of the complaints. I mean, there's, you know, like, the people complaining about l. Like, they're just looking for a reason to get mad at El Duncan. Okay. And those people obviously suck, but I get some of the complaints where you just want your baseball. I understand.

[Dan LeBatard]

Well, but she referred to home plate as what she.

[Stugats]

Home base.

[Jeremy Teshe]

Home base.

[Dan LeBatard]

Oh, yeah, That's a play on.

[Jeremy Teshe]

Yeah. No, that's a real play on.

[Dan LeBatard]

No, but wait a minute.

[Stugats]

Baseball fans are to get a play

[Dan LeBatard]

on for you guys, please, please.

[Jeremy]

Baseball fans.

[Dan LeBatard]

No, no, you're not.

[Jeremy Teshe]

Live stream.

[Dan LeBatard]

You guys are not the baseball fans we're talking about.

[Zaz]

Dan, I'm the baseball fan you're talking about. I felt offended.

[Jeremy Teshe]

Speaking of, by the way, hardest hit home run ever. Your boy, o', Neill, Cruz.

[Stugats]

Finally.

[Dan LeBatard]

What are the numbers on the velocities? The hardest hit balls ever. Because Giancarlo Stanton hit a ball yesterday 115 miles an hour. It was just a single. What are the numbers here?

[Jeremy Teshe]

O', Neill, Cruz, hit a ball baseball, 122 miles per hour.

[Dan LeBatard]

Shohei Otani is on this list.

[Jeremy Teshe]

He's on the list. Stanton is on the top 20 hardest hit baseballs for home runs eight times.

[Jeremy]

Mike, you know I have one rule to live by, right?

[Mike]

Don't place parlays on multiple long shots. Don't say a game is won when it hasn't hit triple zero.

[Jeremy]

Always drink your Jagermeister ice cold. That's the rule. Everything else is merely a significant suggestion.

[Mike]

Everything else?

[Jeremy]

Everything else.

[Mike]

Wearing clean underwear every day, well, that's

[Jeremy]

just a personal decision. Brushing your teeth, obviously smart, but not a rule.

[Mike]

Never pee pee on an electric fence.

[Jeremy]

Okay, maybe there are two rules. But the one that is a hundred percent that I insist on completely, Jagermeister must be drank ice cold or don't drink it at all.

[Mike]

Damn, that's cold.

[Jeremy]

Exactly. You're finally starting to get it.

[Mike]

Drink responsibly. Jagermeister liqueur, 35% alcohol bar by volume, imported by Mass. Jaegermeister, US White Plains, NY.