The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz

Local Hour: The Brown Man Group (feat. The Dr. Seuss of Masturbation Jokes)

Date: December 9, 2025

Episode Overview

Broadcasting from the Elser Hotel in Downtown Miami with a crew split between Miami and New York, this “Local Hour” of The Dan Le Batard Show dives into a rapid-fire mix of sports, pop-culture, office life, and the group’s signature comedic asides. The team covers the aftermath of a chaotic NFL game, deepens into the ongoing Notre Dame-ACC-CFP crisis, debates the Miami Heat’s trade prospects, and meanders into their infamous “hog first” etiquette bit — all studded with the show’s improvisational banter and irreverent analogies.

1. NFL Follies and Alt-Broadcast Bingeing

Timestamps: 02:18 – 04:34

• Opening Banter:

  • The group is aghast at the previous night’s NFL game between the Eagles and Chargers, which devolved into a turnover-fest.
  • “What the hell was that football game last night?” – Amin Elhassan (02:18)
  • Eight turnovers, multiple on the same play, prompt wild reactions.

• Pop Culture Sidebar:

  • Conversation pivots to the proliferation of “alt-broadcasts” like those themed around “Monsters, Inc.” and “Monsters University,” and Hank Azaria’s obscure show "Hollywood Dog."
  • “They watched Who Framed Roger Rabbit and were like, yeah, we could do that.” – Mike Ryan (04:20)

2. Office Holiday Parties: Nostalgia, Gratitude, and Realities

Timestamps: 07:00 – 09:50

• Dan’s Sincere Moment:

  • Dan Le Batard expresses gratitude to his colleagues for building Meadowlark Media despite media challenges:
  • “…I am proud to be with you guys here. I’m genuinely moved that even with the technical difficulties, we have two spaceships in New York and Miami…” – Dan (07:36)

• Holiday Parties: What’s Changed?

  • Pablo Torre playfully pushes back:
    • “I don’t think holiday parties show gratitude. I think they show a budget line item…” – Pablo (08:04)
  • Sampson and Zaslow reminisce about the pre-cancel-culture debauchery of team holiday parties and how those days are gone.

3. Notre Dame, the ACC, and College Football Playoff Drama

Timestamps: 10:41 – 18:57; 21:14 – 25:54

• Notre Dame’s Outrage:

  • The crew laughs at the melodramatic reaction of Notre Dame and its athletic director after being left out of the CFP.
  • “When their AD goes on the Dan Patrick Show and says the ACC has done irreparable damage… And when asked if it’s fixable, he says, oh yeah, of course it’s fixable.” – Chris Cody (11:15)
  • Panel discusses Notre Dame’s unique position — not fully in the ACC for football, leveraging its status for TV revenue, and its AD’s failure to pick the real fight:
    • “If Notre Dame thinks it has the power to bring about change… go ahead and kill [the ACC]. Miami is well positioned if this conference were to dissolve.” – Mike Ryan (17:19)
  • Sampson calls Notre Dame’s public whining “a bit of a chicken shit presser.”

• Media and Perception:

  • Zaslow:
    • “I want kids today to understand why Notre Dame matters … they’re a character because they have an overinflated sense of self that’s also backed up by a truly impressive amount of national television money.” (13:50)
  • Tonal debate about the AD’s job — should he lobby the public or do business behind closed doors?

• Details of Notre Dame’s Complaint:

  • The crew mocks the pettiness of Notre Dame’s grievances — mainly about the ACC Network re-airing the Miami-Notre Dame game:
    • “This is disproportionate in reaction … It feels like coming home from a bad day at work and kicking the dog.” – Chris Cody (22:47)

• Insider Tidbits:

  • CFP committee members may have been “assigned” to re-watch the Miami-Notre Dame game.
  • Nick Saban’s comments on Notre Dame’s line play may have swayed opinions.

4. “Hog First”: The Dr. Seuss of Masturbation Jokes

Timestamps: 25:59 – 31:33

• Podcast Trademark Segment:
  • The crew revisits Amin’s controversial etiquette for passing through tight aisles:
    • “What I said was … I’m coming through hog first.” – Amin Elhassan (27:18)
    • The team riffs endlessly on “hog” euphemisms for the penis, debating whether “hog,” “hammer,” “snake,” or “rooster” is the best or funniest slang.
    • “Now we’re doing Dr. Seuss of masturbation. He’s not an animal. Crank is not an animal.” – Chris Cody (30:51)
    • The segment is quintessential “Local Hour” — sophomoric, playful, and unfiltered.

5. NBA: Heat Trade Prospects, Cup Money, and Rozier Controversy

Timestamps: 35:37 – 46:28

• Miami Heat’s Dilemma:

  • The group discusses trade rumors around Giannis Antetokounmpo and Ja Morant:
    • “The Giannis problem… there are so many suitors with more attractive pieces.” – Mike Ryan (39:21)
    • Amin explains why targeting Ja Morant might be easier — and why it may not help the Heat as much.

• NBA Cup Incentives:

  • They highlight the real stakes of the NBA Cup:
    • “…half a million dollars. So it’s real money that’s being played for in the NBA cup no matter how irrelevant people might think it is.” – Chris Cody (38:13)

• Terry Rozier Scandal:

  • In-depth discussion of how the ongoing FBI investigation into Terry Rozier’s gambling activities is hamstringing the Heat’s flexibility.
  • “The people I’ve talked to say that it’s not eligible to be traded until this thing is clarified… it’s really hampering the Heat’s ability to make a move.” – Mike Ryan (44:36)
  • The Heat were reportedly unaware of the ongoing investigation at the time of the trade, per ESPN sources (45:18).

6. Miami vs. Texas A&M, Trash Talk, and College Football Culture

Timestamps: 35:37 – 37:54

• Bulletin Board Material:
  • Clip of Texas A&M’s Trey Zune dismissively saying Miami’s Reuben Bain “isn’t a threat” (36:23).
  • Group discusses the stupidity of providing motivation to a top pass rusher.
    • “Now you have motivated a guy that’s going to be a top five draft pick in the NFL draft … I was so happy to see Trey Zune III, please, single-cover him.” – Mike Ryan (37:23)

7. Weather, New York/Miami Culture Shock, and “The Lord’s Start Time”

Timestamps: 42:13 – 44:36

• Florida vs. New York:
  • Dan rails against the cold, lamenting how New York never feels warm, even inside.
  • Zaslow: “Seasons are character building.” (43:07)
  • Pablo’s Florida nostalgia: “My blood is still thin … Florida right now is no picnic.” (43:09)
  • Group debates benefits of 6pm NBA tip-offs — Amin dubs it “The Lord’s start time.” (43:33)

8. Notable Quotes and Moments

• “Thank God Dan’s not here.” – Chris Cody (05:16), reflecting the show’s self-awareness about chaos.
• “When I think of Amin and David Sampson, I immediately say … those are not possessors of hogs.” – Chris Cody (28:42), sparking laughter.
• “I go stub first.” – Pablo Torre (29:17), one-upping the ongoing bit.

9. Timestamps for Key Segments

• NFL/Monsters Inc. banter: 02:18 – 04:34
• Dan’s gratitude/office party discourse: 07:00 – 09:50
• Notre Dame/ACC drama: 10:41 – 18:57
• “Hog First” segment: 25:59 – 31:33
• NBA Heat trades/Rozier investigation: 35:37 – 46:28
• Weather & city culture shock: 42:13 – 44:36

Tone and Language

The episode is fast-paced and irreverent, blending serious sports analysis, industry-insider perspectives, candid emotion, and relentless locker-room banter. The crew, as usual, modulates between heartfelt reflection (Dan’s gratitude speech), in-the-know sports takes (Notre Dame, Heat trade situation), and comedic chaos ("hog first" bit, animal euphemisms). Their ability to veer from the economics of sports media to penis slang (with Seussian flair) is classic Le Batard Show.

For listeners or readers who missed the episode, this hour embodies all facets of the show — unfiltered sports takes, team camaraderie, and the type of mischievous, off-color humor that keeps its fans tuning in.