The Dan Le Batard Show w/ Stugotz

Local Hour: "The Dead Dog In Zaslow's Kitchen"

Date: September 23, 2025
Location: Elser Hotel, Downtown Miami
Hosts: Dan Le Batard, Stugotz, Greg Cody, Billy Gil, others

Overview

This episode of the "Local Hour" opens with the usual in-studio banter and sponsor reads before launching into a signature swirl of South Florida sports, college football rankings, NFL storylines, and some trademark, meandering hijinks about pet mortality and shirt fabrics. The running argument focuses on whether the University of Miami (UM) is "back," if FSU or Miami has the better resume, and how to view early-season successes in both college and NFL. The hosts also touch on the evolution of football, especially around ball security and offensive styles, and sprinkle in local color through tales of pets, shirts, and Miami minutiae.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Greg Cody’s “New Old” Shirt, Material Debate, and Sweating in Miami

• The show kicks off with lighthearted ribbing about Greg Cody’s shirt, which is described as terry cloth/bath towel material:
  • Greg Cody: “It feels like a bath towel. It seems like something that would be very sweaty in South Florida given our general humidity.” (01:45)
  • Discussion veers into Dan joking about how he “gave up sweating” and prefers long sleeves to hide bruises.
  • Billy Gil: “That’s how little he’s active, that he thinks he doesn’t sweat. Did you give it up?” (03:05)
  • The conversation segues into pet stories as Dan mentions his arms improving after a “talk” with them.

2. Dead Pets & "The Dead Dog in Zaslow’s Kitchen"

• A broad, darkly hilarious contest emerges over whose pets have died and how the remains were handled:
  • Dan: “The cats I bury in the backyard. The dogs, we just let the vet take care of that.” (04:32)
  • Billy Gil: “So I got the paw print, you know, in the clay.” (04:49)
  • [Memorable Moment] Billy gets teased about whether he keeps “a dead dog in your kitchen” (05:01–05:03), when in fact it’s just a paw print mold.
  • The group riffs on cultural rituals around pet death and the logistics (dogs too big to bury, cats get the backyard treatment).

3. Miami vs FSU: Who's Actually Played “Somebody”?

• The real meat of the show is a multi-segment, often circular argument over college football resumes, led by Greg Cody and Dan:
  • Greg asserts FSU “hasn’t played anybody,” dismissing Alabama’s perceived strength and downplaying Miami’s wins over Notre Dame, Florida, and USF.
  • Dan: “After the FSU-Alabama game, we’re all burying Alabama...Now all of a sudden, we're saying they’re not that bad. No.” (06:42)
  • They dissect Miami's lack of dominant offense despite tough opponents, while Billy and Dan maintain the Gators, USF, and Notre Dame are still quality wins.
  • Greg Cody: “I think it’s fair to say that Miami hasn’t played anybody either...Notre Dame’s shown you nothing, Florida’s shown you nothing...” (07:23)
  • Billy Gil (sarcastic): “So FSU winning against...Alabama doesn’t impress you, but if they beat Virginia this week, that will really show you something.” (07:35)

Notable Quotes

• Greg Cody: “You can sit here and make a good argument that Miami’s opponents haven’t shown you much this season.” (09:21)
• Dan: “Most people...were very impressed with the way Miami beat Florida. I was. The poll voters were.” (09:47)
• Billy: “They haven’t played a single road game yet, and they don’t even leave the state until November. Yes, that’s important to point out. So is the U back or not?” (12:42)

Discussion Flows:

• Debating whether resume-building matters when most top teams haven’t played anyone with a strong pedigree
• The importance (or not) of style points vs just accumulating wins

4. Broader College Football Landscape — “Who’s Played Who?”

• Comparison of resumes continues, expanding to other programs:
  • Greg and Billy fire at Texas, Penn State, LSU, Georgia, Oregon — ultimately agreeing every “contender” is only as good as their most recent poll boost.
  • Dan: “Ohio State is number one, period. There’s really no argument.” (24:01)
  • The futility of early-season ranking debates is openly acknowledged.
  • Group notes how groupthink and preseason rankings color every week’s poll.

5. NFL Deep Dive: Ball Security, Derrick Henry, and Evolving Quarterback Standards

The Value and Detriment of Turnovers

• Shift to NFL, starting with Derrick Henry’s recent fumbles:
  • Dan poses: “How many turnovers does a Derrick Henry have to have that it dilutes his excellence?” (27:16)
  • Greg & Billy note that “RB1s” get benched for three lost fumbles—except for Henry, who gets leeway but might suffer if the trend continues.
  • Dan: “The timing of his fumble loss last night was the turning point.” (28:20)

The Rise of “Safe” QBs:

• They riff on Aaron Rodgers’ claim that he "invented" the low-turnover quarterback, drawing contrasts to past eras where top QBs threw 5 picks routinely (citing Dan Fouts).
• The group humorously addresses the premium on “not making plays for the other team”—creating a game that prizes caution.

6. Petty Sniping, Dolphins’ O-line, Lions’ O-line and NFL “Who’s Good?” Debate

• Local hour flavor: weighing Dolphins’ and Hurricanes’ offensive lines
• Billy relays Miami radio personalities lauding UM’s O-line
• Discussion of the Detroit Lions’ ascendance, dominating last night’s game due to their O-line, and general exasperation at how NFL teams like Detroit fix their O-line so easily compared to Miami.
• Greg: “The Detroit Lions have one of the two best offensive lines in the league and have had it for three years. They’ve made Man Campbell look like a genius, even though he’s not a genius.” (34:06)

Who’s Actually "Good" In the NFL?

• Billy and Dan try to count "good" NFL teams. Candidates include Rams, 49ers, Bucs, Packers, Lions, Eagles, Chargers, Chiefs, Ravens, Bills (interminable debate).
• Greg: “If I asked you guys for a number of good teams in the NFL... is it seven? Is it six?” (36:35)
• Billy: “I got 12 good teams.” (40:07)
• Punchline: They can't agree on criteria for “good.”

7. Miscellaneous Banter: Dog Years, Cat Years, and Football Rule Changes

• Billy rants against the concept of “dog years,” noting no one applies the principle to cats or other pets. (45:06–45:43)
• Zaslow points out the NFL’s likely move to ban the “punch out” fumble, saying, “You can’t just throw haymakers during the game at players.” (38:08)

Memorable Moments & Notable Quotes

• Billy Gil [on dead pets]: “You have a dead dog in your kitchen?” (05:01)
• Dan [on Miami's win over Florida]: “That’s a game they lose last year, if Cam Ward has that kind of game last year. They don’t beat anybody this year, despite their quarterback having a terrible game. Really, really bad. They ran the ball. They played defense.” (11:49)
• Greg Cody [pet contest]: “I've had three die. And cats. The cats I bury in the backyard. The dogs, we just let the vet take care of that.” (04:32)
• Dan Le Batard [on college football resumes]: “Let’s just agree on that, because it is... They haven’t played on the road yet. That in and of itself is a big [test].” (13:13)
• Billy [on UCF/O-line]: “The Big Dog was saying that the UM offensive line could be better than the Dolphins right now.” (30:37)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 01:26–03:12 – Shirt material debate, sweating, Dan controlling his own body
• 04:09–05:12 – Dead pet handling contest (“dead dog in your kitchen” joke)
• 06:16–16:33 – Miami, FSU, and the college football “haven’t played anybody” debate
• 20:01–24:16 – Dismantling the logic of college football rankings/poll voting
• 27:16–29:44 – NFL running back fumbles: Derrick Henry & the premium on ball security
• 34:06–36:33 – Detroit Lions’ line, NFL “who’s actually good” spiral
• 38:08–45:44 – Football rules on “punch out” fumbles, debate on dog years vs cat years

Tone and Style

The tone is quintessentially “Local Hour”: irreverent, rapid-fire, self-effacing, and Miami-centric. The hosts seamlessly mix sports analytics with farcical asides (shirts, pets, dog years), and the debates swing between faux-serious and all-out jest. The language is colloquial, with frequent cross talk and occasional feigned exasperation—delivering both insight and entertainment for Miami sports die-hards and casual fans alike.

Useful For...

• Fans wanting a breakdown of early college football narratives around UM and FSU
• Listeners curious about NFL storylines (turnover trends, offensive line dominance)
• Anyone looking for the show’s unique blend of serious sports debate and absurd local comedy

Summary by [your assistant], preserving the hosts’ original energy and banter.