The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz

Local Hour: The Great Cream Cheese Debate (August 19, 2025)

Hosts: Dan Le Batard, Stugotz, and the crew
Location: Elser Hotel, Downtown Miami

Episode Overview

This episode takes listeners on a typical wild ride with Dan Le Batard, Stugotz, and the rest of the crew. What starts as a seemingly minor culinary argument about cream cheese escalates into a hilarious and heartfelt debate, opening doors to classic “Local Hour” shenanigans: multigenerational family gripes (Greg and Chris Cody), insider Miami sports talk, and their trademark needling humor about everyday things. The discussions slide seamlessly from bagel toppings to NBA national TV snubs, and eventually to the eternal hope (and despair) that is the Cleveland Browns QB situation, all sprinkled with rapid-fire jokes, honest admissions, and playful grievances.

Cream Cheese Armageddon

[01:13–13:20]

The Incident & The Argument

• The episode opens “charged up” after a morning altercation: Greg Cody and his son Chris get into a heated shouting match.
  • Dan: “Sometimes someone takes out a grenade and rolls it in and…oh, we got ourselves a show today.” [01:26]
• This kicks off a wider debate—what’s the right cream cheese for a bagel?

The Cream Cheese Debate

• Crew quickly takes sides: “Bar” (brick/block) cream cheese vs. whipped.
  • Stugotz: “I like the bar cream cheese. That’s the cream cheese I really like.” [03:24]
  • Mike Ryan: “I want...thickness with my hands. I want to have to work. I want that thing to almost break the plastic knife.” [03:27]
  • Amin: “It’s terrible to put on a bagel because it’s such a laborious occasion every time…” [03:36]
  • Frustration emerges over the messy logistics of bar cream cheese versus the “sissified” whipped version:
    • Stugotz: “Whipped is for sissies.” [04:15]
    • Dan: “Bar cream cheese just for making cheesecake. That’s it? ...It’s not for eating with toast.” [04:17]
  • The group crowdsources:
    • Dan: “Juju, put on the poll: block cream cheese or whipped cream cheese.” [04:43]
  • Jeremy briefly denies the existence of “block” cream cheese, before apologizing:
    • Jeremy: “Hand up. My bad… I dug my heels in because I was worried about my Jew credentials.” [07:52]

Shmear or Not to Shmear

• The cultural context comes up:
  • Stugotz: “If you’re real, you call it shmear.” [11:53]
  • Stugotz: “That’s a Jewish thing. It’s a deli. I don’t call it shmear. I call [it] cream cheese.” [12:01]
• Topping purity:
  • Greg: “...An ingredient you don’t need: chives. Let’s keep the cream cheese pristine.” [12:32]
  • Stugotz: “Couldn’t get the hell out of my life with these chives.” [12:38]
  • Dan: “What’s wrong with the regular cream?” [12:47]
• Potential rap name tangent:
  • Dan: “Rapscallion. There it is. Oh, that would be a great rap name.” [13:08]

Family Tensions: Chris vs. Greg Cody

[05:43–11:04]

• Chris and Greg pull back the curtain on their working dynamic (and mild dysfunction) as a professional father-son duo.
  • Chris: “He does annoy the...out of me all the time. So that’s what I have to deal with.” [05:43]
  • Greg’s gripe: Chris never uses his carefully crafted topic suggestions.
    • Greg: “I spend 20 minutes every morning...coming up with good notes. And I don’t even....He doesn’t even acknowledge he got them.” [06:35]
    • Chris: “You’re annoying.” [07:10]
  • They air out Greg’s rejected topics:
    • Dolphins exhibition wins, Marlins (“rip”), Chinese robot Olympics, Little League World Series weight limits, and “NCAA punishment: a wrist slap to Michigan.” [09:53–10:18]
  • Greg: “If you think it’s tough working with your dad, imagine working with your son.” [06:35]

Spotlight: The NBA National TV Snub

[16:50–25:00]

Miami Heat – Forgotten on National TV

• Greg’s serious topic finally gets airtime: The Heat only got 5 national TV games.
  • Greg: “Are the Heat seven times diminished from the top teams in the league?…I just think, wow, this is how far the Heat have fallen in terms of national regard.” [17:44]
  • Dan: “For the Heat to be on [just] five times despite all of these opportunities…is pretty shocking.” [17:55]
  • Crew breaks down expanding TV access (Amazon, Peacock) and why Heat aren’t box office anymore, despite their history.

“More or Less?” Game: Who Gets More TV Love?

• Dan leads the crew in guessing which teams have more or less national games than Miami:
  • More: Indiana Pacers (9 games), Portland Trail Blazers (8 games)
  • Less: Utah Jazz (2), Chicago Bulls (3), Charlotte Hornets (3)
  • San Antonio Spurs: “a lot more” (22 games)
• Stugotz: “How can the Hornets be on national TV three times?” [24:04]
• Factual surprise: Every team gets at least one national TV game by rule. [24:39]

Economic Impact

• Local broadcast implications, fewer national games equals happier local TV employees (e.g., Jeremy gets paid more when not pre-empted). [25:38]

Throwaway Grievances and Classic Banter

[28:40–30:58]

Headphones: Left or Right?

• Greg poses a typical “Greg Cody” topic: why do headphones label left and right?
  • Greg: “Why does it matter which one's left and which one's right?” [29:10]
  • Dan: “I think this is all a scam. It’s like the Twix thing.” [30:01]
  • Greg and Dan agree to “fight the system” by purposely wearing their headphones backward.
    • Greg: “Not only that, I feel empowered. …I am bigger than my headphones.” [30:59]

NFL and Browns QB Talk

[31:13–41:17]

Browns Quarterback Situation

• Shift to football: Joe Flacco named Browns starter, fanbase fever dreams of Shadour Sanders.
  • Dan: “How long before a QB switch happens? Flacco is the number one for now…” [33:16]
  • Greg: “Joe Flacco is a pretty damn good safety net. He’s one of the better backups in the league.” [34:15]
  • Mike Ryan: “Joe Flacco took that and shoved it up people’s asses.” [34:52]
  • The Browns' first 7 games detailed; tough schedule likely brings “quarterback controversy” chatter early.

Old Guy Empathy

• Crew finds themselves rooting for older QBs as they age:
  • Mike: “As I approach 40, it’s just rallying around the old guy that people are writing off. But I still hate Aaron Rodgers and will actively write him off. It’s a weird place that I’m in.” [36:07]
  • Brief stats break: Flacco’s 2024 performance with the Browns, career symmetry.

Conspiracy Theory Corner

• Mike introduces a Colin Cowherd theory: Nick Saban, Arch Manning, and the Browns, connecting dots between the Haslams, Peyton Manning, and Jimmy Sexton.
  • Dan: “That’s a lot. He laid it all out as the host of a podcast with the word Illuminati in it. Keep your third eye open.” [39:44]
  • Mike: “League circles!” [39:54]
  • Round-robin of who’s “inside the league circle,” ending with playful exclusion of Zas.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Whipped is for sissies.” – Stugotz [04:15]
• “The block is basically rubber cement. You could fortify steel structures with a block of cream cheese.” – Amin [09:09]
• “If you think it’s tough working with your dad, imagine working with your son.” – Greg [06:35]
• “Chives. Let’s keep the cream cheese pristine.” – Greg [12:32]
• “Rapscallion. That would be a great rap name.” – Dan [13:08]
• “I think this is all a scam. It’s like the Twix thing.” – Dan [30:01]
• “I am bigger than my headphones.” – Greg [30:59]
• “Joe Flacco took that and shoved it up people’s asses.” – Mike Ryan [34:52]
• “League circles.” – Multiple

Timeline of Key Segments

| Timestamp | Segment | |-----------|-----------------------------------------------------------------------| | 01:13 | Opening banter, morning “grenade,” and Greg vs. Chris argument | | 03:03 | Cream cheese debate – block vs. whipped | | 05:43 | Chris and Greg air their podcast process and topic tensions | | 16:50 | Heat snubbed on national TV; NBA game counts analysis | | 28:40 | Headphones L/R labels: rant and rebellion | | 31:13 | Cleveland Browns QB controversy, Flacco vs. Shadour Sanders | | 33:16 | Browns schedule breakdown | | 36:24 | Sympathy for aging athletes – “old guys” | | 39:15 | Haslam-Manning-Saban conspiracy and “league circles” |

Closing Thoughts

This “Local Hour” exemplifies the Dan Le Batard Show’s DNA: trivial feuds expanding into bigger stories, classic Miami sports lamentations, mock-serious family dynamics, and irreverent queries about life’s little oddities. Whether you care about cream cheese or football, you’re guaranteed a good laugh and some genuine insight amid the chaos.