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Dan Le Batard
You're listening to Giraffkings Network.
Stugotz
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Stugotz
This is the Dan Levatar show with the Stu guys.
Billy
Strange. Strange Open.
Jessica
I thought it was great.
Billy
It was also great. I didn't say I know that strange is viewed as pejorative. There are many, many same many many things in the world that I think are strange that I love.
Jessica
Like me.
Billy
Like Billy.
Stugotz
Oh, wait, what? So I think I'm normal. I know that people think I'm strange. In my world, I'm the most normal thing.
Billy
Do you think that strange people know they're strange? Do you think strange people identify because.
Stugotz
Everyone else is strange?
Mike Ryan
To me, Whitney knows he's strange.
Billy
Witty's a good example from our world. I believe we have a lot of strange people in our world. I believe I am one of them. But I know I'm strange. I don't know how many people know they're strange.
Stugotz
I don't think that I would classify myself as strange. I think I would classify myself as a non conformist who's not much interested in society's views of him.
Billy
Yeah, you're an anarchist.
Stugotz
No, not an anarchist. I just, you know, like I'm fine. Like, oh, if I'm strange, okay, I'm strange. Whatever I like, you know what I like and that's fine.
Billy
I happen to gravitate toward weird people. I think that weird is interesting, and I would love for everybody in our audience to have permission to be weird without being judged by the alleged normal. But let's put it on the poll. Do strange people know they're strange? Let me ask the group, though, how do you feel about Valentine's Day? Because I would say I have a new relationship with love in the last four or five years. And it's. It's as much to do with my wife as it is to do with the death of my brother. And so today is a day like every day is for me. When you start realizing or come to grips with the idea that life is short. Any day is a good day to celebrate the people that you love. But people actively don't like this holiday because there's a commercialization of it that cheapens love.
Stugotz
This is dangerous ground. But, like, did you and Lebo get each other Valentine's gifts? I don't understand why this is like a particularly that I appreciate love more.
Billy
I appreciate love more than I did before. That's. It's as simple as that.
Mike Ryan
And it feels like your wife expects you to do stuff on Valentine's Day in a way that maybe you didn't do stuff on Valentine's Day prior.
Billy
Well, she expects me to pay attention about being present is what she expects me to do. And there are many things that this job does that don't allow that. What are you laughing about, Billy?
Stugotz
Well. Cause you're here, so you're here.
Billy
Yeah, that's right. Well, and so now you know why it is that I come in stomping in. I've got. Now you know why on Valentine's Day, I come in stomping in cuz Stugatz was supposed to work today and I was not. We'll get back to love in a second. I want Tony and Jeremy and Jessica's opinion on Valentine's Day. Well, less so yours. There are a lot of plates you're spinning in the executive producer chair. So you don't have to concentrate on love today. You just have to concentrate on not making me hate you.
Stugotz
You sound like my wife. Honestly, like, this is the most home I've ever felt is the way he was talking to me. I got. Don't worry about me. Worry about yourself.
Billy
Before we get to the back rows opinion about Valentine's Day, though. Because of Stugatz's general unreliability, we've had a number of meetings with him about being more courteous with his schedule and literally present. And literally present. That's right. We're asking him to be in a conscious state of literally present. Thank you. Yes. We are asking him to reach enlightenment by being just simply present. But as you can see over there, his chairs not even in the right place. He's not here. And I wasn't supposed to be here today. But I want to play for you guys some sound at the beginning of Shannon Sharpe and Ochocinko talking on Nightcap. They've got a very popular show. They've got a growing show. It's easy to see why it is. It's popular and growing. And Ochocinco plays the perfect role to Shannon Sharpe as Stugats. He's playing a much more cartoonish and athlete soaked and famous Stugats. So listen to how the show after the super bowl, you have to understand, okay, Shannon Sharpe has explained everyone who works for him. I can't even imagine what that environment is like. If I call you at 2 in the morning, you're picking up the phone. Because not everybody wants to work for me. Not, not everyone can. I need things at 2 in the morning. That's how it works. He's very professional, very responsible, crazy about that sort of stuff. And Ochocinko is not in any way.
Mike Ryan
Tight ship, lose ship situation there. Dan, you think Unk drives a tough ship?
Billy
Well, Shannon Sharpe has said so. And he gets very frustrated with Ocho in ways that are real. And so while they do the professional wrestling stuff well. And Ocho Cinco has always done it well. I do believe after 20 years of marriage to somebody who frustrates me in a number of different ways, who I also value in a number of different ways. Because the tension between us is something that makes it a rare thing that can exist for 20 years. These details are things that are dangerous to these kinds of marriages. I will tell you that Tony Kornheiser and Michael Wilbon have survived all. And that's why I know the love. This right here is why I know their love is real. Because for more than 20 years, Tony Kornheiser is waiting for 45 minutes for Wilbon to finish his sandwich. And he complains about it every day. And he complains about it every day for 25 years. And it never changes. Here is Shannon Sharpe and Ocho Cinco as Ochocinko. This is listen as if it's Stugatz. And listen to Ochocinko explaining why after the super bowl, his partner, Shannon Sharpe, he can't be there on time for him. And Shannon Sharpe has to wait after the Super bowl for 40 minutes for Ochocinko. Tell the people why you were late today. Tonight.
Ochocinco
Listen, so check me out, right? Check me out. People, people, listen to me real quick.
Billy
Now.
Ochocinco
This wasn't my fault. This wasn't my fault. Like, see?
Billy
Who fault was it? You. Late. It's Ocho. Was Ocho late or was it the default Late?
Ochocinco
All right, you know, it was Ocho. It was Ocho that was late, right? So I went. I went on a bland date tonight, right? I went to a restaurant very early on. The reservation was for 8:00. The renovation was at 8:00.
Stugotz
You hear me?
Ochocinco
I went to a restaurant in Wynwood called Sparrow. It was called Sparrow. Very, very nice place. And they had live music, and I had no idea what the individual who I was going to dinner with. I had no idea what she looked like. So it was a blind date. So you never know. So, boom, I walk in, boom. She's already sitting down. I sit down, I order my food. They give me a latte. They got live music playing. We having a good time. We exchanging pleasantries. So, boom, the game starts. So I told her, listen, miss, I got nightcap tonight, so I need to be able to watch the game. You know, the Thunder and the goddamn Wolves. I need to watch the game, but I can still talk to you as I'm watching the game. So I get up, I say, listen, I ate. We ordered our food.
Stugotz
I ate my food.
Ochocinco
I go outside to get. To go to my car. It's 10:00. I only need. I only need 20 minutes to get home. So I'm gonna be here on time. I go outside. They done tow my trucks.
Stugotz
Were you parked, Were you parked in.
Billy
A no parking zone?
Ochocinco
Yeah, I was. Hey, they would. Listen, listen, hold on.
Stugotz
Wait. Wait a minute.
Ochocinco
Let me tell you why. Now, at Sparrow, they have valet in the front. I pulled up the valet and asked, valet, how much was it for valet parking? He said, a hundred dollars. So I take. I catch a Uber to the tow place. I catch Uber to the tow place. I told him, like, sir, I'm in a rush. It's about 10:35 now. It's 10:35, sir, I'm in a rush at Nightcap tonight. I got to do a show. Can I please pay real quick? Here's my license. So he run my license and said, listen, Ocho, we know who you are, but your truck is already in the system, and we can't give you your truck because you owe money for parking tickets, the tolls. I don't know.
Stugotz
Yeah.
Ochocinco
So I got Sun Pass. I just been running through it and I didn't even realize I done ran out of money on my Sun Pass.
Stugotz
Okay?
Ochocinco
So I say, listen, sir, if I can't get my car, can I please get the keys to my house inside the car? And I'm an Uber, bam, Uber home. And so I ubered home and boom, I got here at 11:15.
Billy
Yeah, it's a good show. I don't know if it's going to last.
Stugotz
Why?
Billy
Because I don't think that Shannon Sharpe will abide that behavior for as long as I have.
Stugotz
Well, none of that was his fault. He walked us through what happened.
Mike Ryan
What is 100 bucks for valets?
Billy
Una uso, by the way, that's Miami. That's if you go to a popular restaurant in Miami that a lot of people are at, that's what it's going to cost you to put your car out front.
Stugotz
I've never heard that a tow truck company who we all know are super on the up and up decide to abide by you owe Sun Pass bills and we're not going to give it back to you. Like I, I think respectfully, to all tow truck drivers and tow truck companies out there. And trust me, I don't want to get on your wrong side because I don't want my car to go missing, but I would think that they don't exactly have the closest relationship with the law since they're stealing your car.
Jessica
That's where the, the story falls apart to me because otherwise we're good to go. 8pm reservation. He's there for a couple hours. Jeremy, if the latte doesn't make a lot of sense.
Billy
Hold on, Jeremy. You say it holds up. Just for the record, Ochocinko is late to give his analysis of a game that he was on a blame blind date on when it was happening. That's right. Just so you understand, you can have all of the expertise of the Internet on analysis for the game. That's one person who wasn't paying attention to the game because he was on a blind date.
Stugotz
The timelines didn't line up because he said that the reservations were at 8 and that he had to eat dinner quick to go watch the game when kickoff was at 6:30. So there's kind of like, I don't exactly know what timeline was here. He said he was in Miami. So it wasn't a situation at times, which can be very tricky. We've gone over that a number of times, but that wasn't at play.
Jessica
There, See, I thought the same thing. But then he started talking about a Thunder game against either the Bulls or the Wolves. I didn't know. And so it made me think that this was not in reference to super bowl night because that was where it started.
Stugotz
Confusing.
Jessica
Why would you have your reservation at 8pm for a 6:30 game, but you get out in about two hours and you feel like you're making good time, but the sun pass part of it, that's where it really, really falls apart.
Mike Ryan
What I loved is that I was looking at it like you said as Stu Gotz. Everything was filtering what Ocho was saying through a Stu Gotts prism. And I was like, ooh, that's a good one. He got the valet had to park somewhere that was a little, you know, sketchy. But then he got towed. But then, oh my God, he forgot about the sun passed and they can't give him the thing. So it's like lie on top of. Lie on top of lie from Stugas.
Billy
I also may have some bad information here in assuming this was after the Super Bowl, Jeremy, because it may be another game or day. It is the second or third time this has happened between them and Shannon Sharpe keeps getting mad. I thought it had happened again after the super bowl. So I might have that part wrong. Going back to what it is that we were talking about before and Valentine's Day, the group of you feel. How about this? Jeremy, Tony, Jessica, do you have any. Are there any requirements in your relationship on Valentine's Day?
Mike Ryan
For me, I don't have strict requirements. Right. Like, my wife is like, you know, I like Valentine's Day, but it's not like the end of the world. So I was, I was explaining him. Yesterday we were doing a walk with my, with my daughter and I explained to my wife, I was like, hey, Chris and Mike. She's like, oh, why weren't they on the show? I was like, oh, Chris and Mike somehow convinced their wives to go on a boys trip for Valentine's Day out of the country. Out of the country. Like, not like anywhere close. And she's like, oh, that's interesting. Okay.
Dan Le Batard
Sounds like a great present to their wives.
Mike Ryan
Touche. I was like, you think that I would be able to do some of that? She's like, no, no, no, absolutely not. And I was like, oh, okay, so you've value Valentine's Day. She's like, not really. You're just not leaving me with the kid on Valentine's Day.
Dan Le Batard
But if you were Chris, Cody's wife wouldn't you be like, yeah, get out of town.
Mike Ryan
Oh, no.
Stugotz
Yeah.
Mike Ryan
Again, different circumstances if you're Kyle.
Dan Le Batard
Yeah, yeah. Kyle's like, go ahead, Kyle.
Mike Ryan
Please go.
Dan Le Batard
They're both Kyle. Yeah, I don't. We don't have requirements of my. In fact, I forgot today was Valentine's Day until I woke up and Lehman handed me a gift card to get a massage and a book about Cold War spies. And I'm like, I love Valentine's Day.
Jessica
Oh, yeah, That's a sweet man.
Stugotz
Okay, so what do you do now? Because, like, Dan, this is one of the benefits of working on Valentine's Day that you didn't consider is you. You get to rush out of the house, right? And you're like, oh, Valerie, I have to go to work. Don't worry. We got something big planned later. And then you have, like, a shorter day, and now is when you spend the time planning what that big thing is later. Yeah. Now that you're out at work, now is when you can do all of the Valentine's errands. And then when you get home is when you go and you do, like, the big gesture. And by the way, also, if you do like what you think is a big gesture and it gets a bad reception early on, then you have all of work to figure out how to make up for the fact that you had a bad gesture in the morning.
Dan Le Batard
No, it's funny you mentioned the work part, because my plan was to get Lehman's present on the way home from work, but then he surprised me with mine at like, 7am and I was like, oh, come on. Like, why are we doing this so early? I'm not ready yet. And now I have to be like, by the way, here's your present. Yes, I did get it this morning.
Mike Ryan
Here's some lure.
Stugotz
Exactly. You never.
Dan Le Batard
You never mention I'm getting him fresh bait. So, I mean, I couldn't have got it ahead of time.
Stugotz
You tell him. I could. These worms are going to die.
Jessica
I've been planning it months. I just couldn't get it before.
Stugotz
By the way, worms.
Mike Ryan
Can I say something on worms really quick?
Stugotz
Sure, of course. What better day?
Mike Ryan
Do you see worms anymore, Dan?
Billy
Do I see. Yeah.
Mike Ryan
I haven't seen a worm in a very long time. I haven't seen a worm since, like, the early 2000s, if you want me to be honest.
Stugotz
What do you think that's about?
Mike Ryan
I don't know. But when was the last time you saw a worm?
Billy
I see worms fairly regularly. I walk my dog. I walk my dog in grass all the time. And you see a worms, and I work with one. I don't see him always on Fridays.
Dan Le Batard
I see. I feel like I see worms.
Mike Ryan
Really?
Dan Le Batard
Yeah.
Mike Ryan
I haven't seen a live worm. No.
Billy
Well, that's the reason.
Tony
But neither do you.
Billy
No, I don't garden, but I'm walking a dog around grass and stuff. And grass, by the way, the things I find in the grass. Look, where I live. I live on south beach, right? And my dog is a scavenger. So I have to be paying attention all the time because, hey, there's a baguette in his mouth all of a sudden. Or there's a chicken wing. Because somebody is deciding and I'm like, wait, how does this happen? There's a full pizza in my dog's mouth. Because I was in my phone for five seconds.
Dan Le Batard
Exact. Like living in New York City. You'll walk down the street and all of a sudden your dog is eating a rotisserie chicken and you're like, where did you get that?
Billy
I'm not kidding you. That one of the times. Because I can be distracted by my phone, job, other things in a perpetual quest to be present. There was a time I looked up and found in my dog's mouth a dead iguana.
Stugotz
Are we sure? Or was it just like a cold, frozen. Right. Exactly.
Billy
I left the house this morning, and thank you, Billy, for that advice. It is very, very hard to trick my wife to get out and about in a way that gives me the time to do something that requires hours of thoughtful. Okay, I had the plan to allege I was going to work this morning and then go handle what I needed to handle.
Stugotz
This is perfect. Now you're not even lying.
Billy
Well, but I'm here, and I don't have the time to get the gift because the gift I have is to spend Valentine's Day with Billy. Gil.
Stugotz
Well, I mean, I appreciate that gift, but now you have time to go do stuff, Valerie. Yeah, it was a long day. Lots of me. You're a big man of business now, dad. You're a baron of sorts. You know, you have to go around and you have to have all these meetings and do all of these things and just. Look, this is. This is why you have assistance. You just say, fill up my schedule with nonsense. Just put on there a meeting with, you know, whoever it is. And then I would even. And I. I hope. Does Valerie listen to the show?
Mike Ryan
She's probably listening because she's like, where was Dan?
Stugotz
Perfect. My wife doesn't listen to the show. Either. So don't feel bad. Don't think it's, like, a personal thing. Valerie doesn't listen to the show. It's not. All of our spouses hate the show. They just. It's not the show. It's us that they really are tired of. So it's the show, too.
Dan Le Batard
They resent it.
Stugotz
I think what we should do is the five of us in here should make a pact, right? And I think that we should all come up with a code word together for no reason other than funsies. And then what you do, Dan, is you tell your assistant whenever it is that you have, like, errands to run or whatever and you don't want Valerie to know, you say that I have a meeting with. And then the code word, like the code name. And that's just like a fun little thing for all of us to share together. And then we can all use that on our own thing. So then when you're like, hey, Jeremy, like, I can't do, you know, pitch clock or whatever, I have a meeting with Keith, or whatever name we decide, then we know. No, not Kyle. Because Kyle.
Dan Le Batard
Oh, that's Chris's point.
Stugotz
It's really gonna confuse Chris if we do that. So we can't. Like, don't let. Let's not overcomplicate things, all right?
Billy
We'll work. We'll work on the simplicity of this plan. But when you say to me, just tell your assessed assistant. Fill your schedule with nonsense. She's already doing that.
Stugotz
Yeah, yeah.
Billy
And it's not because I'm asking her.
Stugotz
No, I know, but you instruct on Valentine's Day. All nonsense.
Billy
Okay.
Stugotz
No business.
Billy
Okay.
Stugotz
All nonsense on Valentine's Day.
Billy
Wow.
Stugotz
Take my nonsense to noon, please.
Billy
Good.
Dan Le Batard
It's like the special Lucky Charms. That's all Charms.
Tony
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Stugotz
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Mike Ryan
Kmart, into your Late Late show studio.
Billy
Yes.
Stugotz
I didn't even think about that. Wow, That's a theater right there. This is the Dan Levatar show with the Stugach. Oh, my God. Guys, I saw something the other day, and we'll get back to whatever it is that we were talking about before.
Billy
Thank you. I appreciate you allowing me that privilege.
Stugotz
I saw something the other day, and, like, we can criticize the Kelsey's for any number of things, right? Like, it just. Sometimes it's overexposure. It's too many things. On the Kelsey's. The Kelsey's reinvented cereal, and I didn't even know that cereal needed to be or could be reinvented. And they made a mix. They must have made a deal with, like, General Mills or something, right? Where they basically took, like, three of General Mills most popular cereals, and they just re released it as, like, a Kelsey mix. So I have a picture of it right here, which is not great. So it's a tv. If you want, you just scroll at Twitter.
Dan Le Batard
Billy. I've never seen this before. It's Reese's Puffs, Cinnamon Toast Crunch, and Lucky Charms.
Stugotz
Yeah. All mixed together in one box. So, like, they just did, like, a third. Oh, my God. It's diabetes in a box. Like, honestly, I feel like that would be.
Dan Le Batard
It's like marsh. The sweet marshmallows of Lucky Charms, the peanut buttery Reese's Puffs, and then the cinnamony ctc.
Mike Ryan
Yeah, that's too much.
Stugotz
It's. No, it's great. I didn't buy it, but it's great. No, it's good.
Dan Le Batard
That sounds like a amazing. You put a bowl of vanilla ice cream, and you put that on top as a little topping. You mix it in and make, like, a milkshake with it.
Stugotz
Yeah. So what are we doing for Valentine's Day? Do we get the gifts? Are we doing flowers? Do you need to do more than just.
Dan Le Batard
I'm getting that for Lehman. I think you would really like.
Stugotz
Yeah, you should. 1-800-FLowers. Shout out to them.
Billy
You know, put it on the poll, please. Juju at LeBatard show. Juju and a group of others. We've got A whole cavalcade of people at the basketball. At the NBA All Star game. We got a ton of people there. So I don't know if juju is handling the polls today or not, but did the Kelsey's Reinvent cereal? Does cereal need reinventing? And is sugary cereal Diabetes in a box? Put all three of those questions up on the poll.
Dan Le Batard
Do you think people are finding out as they're watching this today's Valentine's Day. Like, are we doing a solid for a bunch of listeners that forgot?
Stugotz
Yes.
Billy
A public service.
Dan Le Batard
So, like, if it's. If you're listening to this live, it's Friday morning. What, Billy, is a good thing for our listeners to get their significant others that it's not too late because we all know there's going to be a long line at the florist right now. Don't waste your time in the florist line. What should they get them, Billy?
Stugotz
Go to 1-800-FLowers. Obviously should have already done that.
Billy
You should have already done it already.
Stugotz
But it's not too late.
Dan Le Batard
People have already forgotten. Yeah, we're past that point.
Stugotz
It's not too late. I don't.
Dan Le Batard
What do they do?
Mike Ryan
They should shop local.
Stugotz
Yeah, you. Yeah, you can go around. I think that you need to get. Honestly at this point in time, it depends on your budget. Right. But I think that the way you can get away with it if you don't want to spend a lot of money is you just get a lot of nonsense. Again, we just fill our schedule with nonsense for the day, and then you get a lot of nonsense, and then you fill it with why it's meaningful and why it's so important to you and to your spouse. And then if you can find things that are actually meaningful, that's absolutely great. But if you can't, then what you do is you get something so obscure and so meaningless that what you do is you then try to take back to, like, your first date or second date.
Dan Le Batard
Wait, this is the cereal we ate on the first day?
Stugotz
Exactly. Right. You just get something that has absolutely no meaning whatsoever. Hold on a second. Something so bland that could be simply forgotten because why would anyone remember it? And then what happens? There's no way to disprove it. Right. And then your spouse or significant other in turn feels bad for not having such a fondness for this item that you think is so important to your relationship that you just made up because you forgot about Valentine's Day, that then it. It strengthens your bond. The problem is you also then need to kind of really like what that is, because then that will be a meaningful thing in your relationship moving forward. So, like, partially lie. But if you're on a budget, what you need to do is just get trinkets and then try to fill it with meaning, and then you just write, like, a nice letter. The problem is it's always, like, the same, like, I love you so much. Thank you for being part of my life journey. This. Whatever. Our souls united. Something about boats. And then boom, done. Xoxo.
Billy
Excellent work. Especially punctuating it. The dismount. Like a gymnastics routine with the kiss. Yes. That was beautiful. The way that.
Stugotz
That's why you call me Carrie Strugg of love.
Billy
The way that you link up with your significant other is to be aggressively bland. Lie and strengthen your bond by making that person feel bad because they don't remember something that you're lying about. Being meaningful. I'm here for Billy Love coach, to work alongside Billy, Yesterday's fear coach. However it is that you want to give seminars on this stuff, perhaps like Tom Cruise in Magnolia.
Stugotz
Listen, I think everybody knows that the true foundation of a healthy relationship is a good dollop of lies.
Dan Le Batard
Yeah.
Billy
Oh, yeah. Put it on the poll at Lebatard show. Is the good foundation to a good relationship a healthy dollop of lying?
Stugotz
Do you guys make Valentine's Day and other holidays a contest? Also? Like, you want to win Valentine's Day, right? Like, you try to see what it is that the gift was. And, like, I'm gonna. I'm gonna get a better gift, and I'm really gonna make you feel better.
Billy
I.
Stugotz
In fact, I have a healthy relationship.
Billy
I. In fact, I put it on the poll as well. Are you competitive on Valentine's Day?
Stugotz
You got to win the day. Well, imagine the Harbaughs doing Valentine's Day. Not to bring this back to sports.
Billy
Carpe diem. I am the opposite on that. I would be perfectly fine if Valentine's Day was just me giving and not getting anything.
Dan Le Batard
That means you want to win.
Mike Ryan
Yeah.
Stugotz
Yeah.
Jessica
You desperately want to.
Stugotz
Yeah. You want to run up the score.
Billy
Really?
Stugotz
Yeah.
Billy
Right.
Dan Le Batard
So you. You are the opposite.
Billy
Yeah.
Stugotz
Well, because, like. Like, Valentine's Day is to make your partner feel bad, but there's different ways of making them feel bad. There's either the guilt of, oh, wow, I didn't do enough, or then just the feeling bad of, they didn't do enough for me. They don't love me. So, like, there's only two feelings, and it's bad or bad so you need to choose which bad you want to deliver that day.
Dan Le Batard
I thought Valentine's Day was about having a fun, sexy time.
Stugotz
You're not married yet.
Dan Le Batard
I guess I am the only unmarried person on the show right now.
Billy
Tony. Tony. I will say some people have noticed. Tony. Young, vibrant, young buck have noticed that 43 days of having a baby have had their toll on Tony.
Stugotz
Oh, wow. Wow, that's rude. Guy hasn't seen a worm in 25 years.
Mike Ryan
That's also true, by the way. I haven't seen a worm in a long time.
Stugotz
Yeah.
Mike Ryan
Hey, you know, I don't sleep. There's that. I feel like Dan, where I'm like writing emails to myself at three in the morning to make sure that I remember Miami's top five smells. I'm like, oh, this is great. This is great content at 3:45 in the morning.
Billy
Let me explain to you something that's been happening here because I'm trying to take some advice from John Amici on how to properly run a company. And John, am I. She has suggested, among other things, that whatever emails I have in thoughts at 3 o'clock in the morning to just program my devices so Those send at 8 o'clock in the morning. And so I just learned the other day this is not something that I even knew I could do with my email that if I just hold and press on the send for a little bit, it will give me some options on what time I can send. So I've been doing that for about 10 days, but I have not received an answer for one of those emails. So I'm pretty much assuming I'm doing something wrong because not a one of those emails. Do I have confirmation that it has landed wherever it is that it's supposed to land?
Dan Le Batard
Have you considered it's the content of the email that is.
Billy
It might be. No, I can't tell. Nobody around here. You can't tell, like the way people infrequently answer stuff around here. I really have no idea.
Stugotz
They could just be in drafts and they were scheduled to send. Or maybe you put like the wrong year and then like we're really going to 2027. Exactly. What is this?
Billy
Now, speaking of sports, let's go ahead to this incriminating photo of what would appear to be Jimmy Butler pooping his pants. We've got Jimmy Butler created all of that for the Miami Heat at the end and then he took it with him and now it resides in. In his uniform. And people are just assuming. Right? There is no other answer for that. It's not Golden State warriors person is having a bad laundry day. It's not like that is what it takes to get 13 free throws a game.
Dan Le Batard
What is bad laundry day entail? I've never heard of one.
Mike Ryan
You don't put enough detergent. Sometimes all of a sudden you look at you like, oh, that's a stain. But you know what? They won't notice.
Jessica
It's like a bad arm day.
Billy
Have you never thrown anything in the laundry and it comes out a different color than it was supposed to be because you did something wrong, whatever that is. I don't. What other explanation does the laundry do we have for this? What other explanation?
Dan Le Batard
I mean, maybe like a very. We mentioned this very briefly yesterday. Maybe a very unhydrated pee. Yeah, like really, like bad on the pee chart in terms of, you know, not staying very hydrated. So a very dark urine.
Mike Ryan
Little back there, though.
Billy
And all of the people are assuming it is poop. But I'm with Jess on this. I thought, well, that's urine colored. That's like a very light poop that. That Jimmy Butler is producing.
Jessica
He drinks a lot of coffee, Daniel.
Billy
That lot of coffee.
Dan Le Batard
Okay, so he's dehydrated is what you're saying.
Jessica
That is what I'm saying.
Dan Le Batard
Not that he has.
Jessica
But he's not holding himself.
Dan Le Batard
As a result, drinking a lot of coffee could also be super full.
Jessica
I was. I was insinuating dehydration.
Billy
I don't know if you guys have ever seen this video. I learned this from Floyd Mayweather. I learned it from that, I would say, pioneering sports series that followed Floyd 24 7. Floyd Mayweather was training and I did not understand how this could be. I still don't understand how it can be. His urine was brown and I don't know what was happening there in terms of how he is training that would make it. Because obviously he's exercising more than most human beings exercise in a day. But I did not know that a healthy person could have brown urine. Put it on the poll at Lebatard show. Can a healthy person have brown urine? Because this is not merely a healthy person. This is one know, ostensibly one of the healthiest people one would imagine. Even if you're living your life recklessly, you're certainly living it in a way that is adhering to fitness. At the very.
Mike Ryan
At the very least, you would think maybe some extra substances around the, you know, interesting.
Billy
Can you guys explain to me. Can you guys look up some things that would explain to me? Because I Still don't have the answer as to why it is that Floyd Mayweather might have brown urine other than dehydration, because that's what I assumed was happening.
Dan Le Batard
Liver related.
Stugotz
Yeah, that's.
Dan Le Batard
Kidney related.
Mike Ryan
Perhaps some bodily functions not working.
Dan Le Batard
One of the. One of the lower organs, perhaps.
Billy
It was stunning to see, I'm going to say, 10 years ago from somebody who doesn't have any public health issues. Anyway, I just don't have an explanation.
Jessica
For what it's all saying. Just severe, severe dehydration. Severe dehydration. So he was constantly getting IV drips to try to avoid that. But.
Stugotz
But that seems to be.
Jessica
It was literally brown. Crazy reddish brown is how it's described.
Mike Ryan
So Jimmy. Do we have Jimmy having that same situation?
Stugotz
No.
Billy
Well, that's not even brown, though, is the thing. Jessica was very astute here, and I don't know if she wants to be our uranologist or not, but she was very astute in saying that. This does not look like brown. This does not look like the color of anything that comes from the back.
Mike Ryan
It looks like my babies.
Billy
Liquid.
Mike Ryan
Yeah.
Stugotz
What?
Mike Ryan
Yeah, like, you know, when you. The babies obviously taking leche from. From a petrol, all of a sudden you look into the. Into the diaper and it's like, oh, that's a. Interesting color of.
Stugotz
The color of the stuff that comes out of babies is wild. Sometimes it's green, sometimes it's yellow. There's a dark brown, a light brown, there's purple. Like it's insane how much whatever.
Mike Ryan
Black.
Stugotz
Yeah. You could fix a roof with baby. Literally when it comes out, the first couple weeks, it's crazy. Dan, put it on the pole.
Billy
Juju at Lepentard show. Can you fix a roof with a baby's first negro?
Stugotz
Yeah, it's as sticky and like the crazy thing is doesn't smell at all. At all. Like, doesn't smell.
Mike Ryan
I got real close to me too.
Stugotz
Doesn't smell like anything. And then all of a sudden you hit like one and. And you're like, what? Like, what is this horrific smell? Is there a dead animal in the house? It's like, no. The baby's poop smell kicked in and now it's terrible forever. But it starts at like 1 years old.
Billy
So it happens with all babies overnight. Like that first poop doesn't smell like anything. But the second one is the worst. No it's ever been in your house.
Stugotz
No. You have like a year where it doesn' smell like anything. So it's like, I don't care about any of this. You get it on your hand, you're like, yeah, whatever. You lick it off. Whatever. Well, this is unbelievable.
Jessica
Why don't they teach us in school?
Stugotz
I gotta tell you something. If you guys have children, they don't teach you anything. They don't. They don't. Not a thing. Like these movies that are like, oh, I need to go to parenting class. That's not a thing that exists. I mean, I guess it is. If someone's out there trying to, you know, take money from you, they'll tell you, like, I'll teach you how to be a parent. But, like, they send you out of the dealership without even a manual on this car. They're just like, you ready to go? And you're like, this baby popped out like 24 hours. They were like, yeah, you got this. Good luck.
Mike Ryan
They don't even walk you to the car anymore. No, they put you in the wheelchair. Jenny was sitting outside a South Miami hospital. I'm driving around the car and she's there by herself.
Stugotz
Buyers shot. She doesn't have the brakes of the wheelchairs. Well, don't mention the hospitals by name.
Mike Ryan
Sorry.
Billy
You guys have to understand. And you know, I'm gonna say that my childhood was filled because I, you know, had parents who were exiles and living in this country and scared and in their second language. My life early on was filled a great deal of responsibility, okay? Just, I was responsible too early for childhood to be normal. When you tell me the idea, when you give me the idea of here's this thing that you don't know how to take care of, and if you do this poorly, it can die. And then they wave to you where the machines and the experts are and they send you in the car to even put that thing in the car. To me, begins a life that I clearly do not want. Like, I clearly don't want that responsibility for a screaming shit monster. Even if the shit doesn't smell like anything for a year. Because you're not going to give me a handbook. You're not going to tell me what I'm going to do alone at 2 o'clock in the morning when a sound gets made that I don't understand.
Mike Ryan
And they make a ton of them, by the way.
Stugotz
Oh, they won't shut up in the morning. Oh, my God, shut up. Exactly. Grunting like, did we bring them a pig? What is this?
Mike Ryan
And then the arms are flailing and you're like, oh, she okay.
Stugotz
Oh, no, you got to put it in a SWAT swaddle that. Well, no, I know, but swaddle that baby hard. Make sure those arms can't move.
Mike Ryan
She didn't like the swaddle. She wanted her arms.
Stugotz
That's what you say. Hey, baby, tough shit. You're getting swaddled.
Mike Ryan
I would swaddle her underneath her arm so her arms could be free.
Stugotz
No rookie move.
Mike Ryan
She sleeps like this.
Stugotz
You've lost all control. Have another kid because you've lost control of that one. That kid is never going to listen to you. Now, if that kid doesn't put on the swaddle properly, you're never going to get control of that child. It's lost. It's a lost battle.
Mike Ryan
Okay, so next one.
Stugotz
Next Baby, give up on this one already. Okay, lovely. Just give up on it. Lost causes, baby. Sorry.
Billy
Put it on the poll at Lebatard Show. You are not sorry. Do you swaddle that baby hard? Tough shit, baby. Yes or no?
Stugotz
You have to. You need to let the baby know really early on who's boss. And it's hard to do so because you see the baby like, oh, I love you. You're in charge, but you're the boss and never forget it.
Billy
Jessica, I heard you mention you want to be swaddled. I'd never heard the words swaddled before. You guys just mentioned it. It's not a word I had.
Dan Le Batard
What about baby Jesus? He was swaddled.
Mike Ryan
He was in a manger. Thank God for that.
Billy
Put it on the poll as well. Juju. Even though it might not be juju. Have you ever used the word swaddle? Yes or no? I wanted to ask you guys something here before we get out of the local hour. Bill Simmons reported that he saw Tyreek Hill at the Super Bowl. And this is some of the greatest flimsy reporting I've ever heard in my life. Like, I'm here for all of it. I wish more people would do it more. I'd be totally fine. I would be totally fine with a channel, a network dedicated every day to getting news this way. Bill Simmons saw Tyreek Hill at the super bowl, and somebody in Tyreek Hill's group just said while leaving, watch out for the Chargers. I would have a news network dedicated to the people around athletes just telling me what to watch out for. Because Tyree Kill has already done stuff on. On social media that points out the Chargers. The Chargers are going to do something. Like, it's not. It's not going to be Harbaugh saying, hey, Herbert's the best quarterback and talent wise, that I've ever seen. And I'm not going to get him another Keenan Allen and I'm not going to get him another Mike Williams. They're going to get something over there that ends up feeling a little more stronger on offense. And Tyree Kill, I don't know how much time he has here, but he has liked the Chargers however it is. You do that privately, publicly, when you're liking stuff on the Internet. And I think. Didn't he just retweet something? Didn't he retweet a story about interest from the Chargers?
Stugotz
Yeah, I was worried how that story was going to start because I thought that we wanted to have a channel dedicated to following tyree kill around 24 hours.
Billy
No.
Stugotz
Which I thought, bad idea, bad idea. We don't need that.
Dan Le Batard
Speaking of people, the last thing he retweeted was the story about Noah Lyles challenging him to a race, which I, I'm not like a. Oh, I want to watch this. Like, I care so much about the track versus football. I would watch the out of this. I would watch this race.
Mike Ryan
How would you handicap that?
Billy
Man, I don't think it's close. Like, I think the track star is better at running tracks than anybody who plays sports.
Stugotz
Like, well, I think Tyreek wanted to do a shorter distance. So then it's all about the burst at the start.
Billy
Okay, well, I guess that's a different thing. But I thought we were doing it over the. I thought we were doing it over 100 meters.
Mike Ryan
How about you put some pads on? No, Lyle. Okay. Get out to the one yard line. All right. And then run 99 yards against Tyreek Hill.
Billy
I think most people would watch that. What I am though deeply tired of is Tyreek Hill threatening to make that happen with everybody. And then it never happens. Like with anybody never happens. It doesn't like, okay. And at this point, Tyreek Hill's not in his prime on speed anymore. Like whatever that. I'm not saying anything that's shocking to everybody, to anybody. Correct. Like, you don't get how many world class sprinters are there in the 30s. I thought the prime for an athlete is going to always be in your 20s. So I would assume that whatever Tyreek Hill is of fast now, it's not the fastest he's ever been. My guess would be that it's the slowest. He's been in his athletic prime, I would guess. Yes.
Stugotz
You gotta sell on him. Right? Like if you can get anything for Tyree Kill, you sell now. Cuz before it's too late.
Dan Le Batard
Well before he loses the race potentially. Which apparently is on sometime this spring or summer.
Billy
Yeah, maybe it's already too late, Billy. It's already too late. I'm sorry to break your heart.
Stugotz
I mean, on Valentine's Day.
Tony
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Jeremy
Alright, I know I gotta do this ad read, but hold on, let me reapply. Did you hear that?
Billy
Yep.
Jeremy
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Podcast Summary: The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz – "Local Hour: The Kerri Strug of Love"
Episode Overview Released on February 14, 2025, "Local Hour: The Kerri Strug of Love" delves into the intricacies of modern relationships, the challenges of balancing personal life with professional commitments, and humorous takes on everyday mishaps. Hosted by Dan Le Batard and Stugotz, alongside regular contributors Billy, Mike Ryan, Jessica, and Tony, the episode intertwines personal anecdotes with light-hearted banter, offering listeners both laughs and relatable insights.
1. Embracing the Strange The episode opens with a discussion on the concept of "strangeness" in individuals, exploring whether people recognize their own quirks and how society perceives them.
The dialogue delves into self-perception versus external perception, with Mike Ryan contributing, “To me, Whitney knows he's strange” (02:00).
2. Valentine's Day: A Double-Edged Sword Transitioning from personal quirks, the hosts tackle the theme of Valentine's Day, discussing its significance beyond commercialization.
The hosts explore strategies for celebrating love amidst busy schedules, emphasizing the importance of presence over presents.
3. Anecdote: Stugotz’s Valentine's Day Mishap A humorous yet insightful story unfolds as Billy recounts a mishap involving renowned personalities Shannon Sharpe and Ocho Cinco (referred to humorously as "Ochocinko").
This segment underscores the challenges of balancing personal life with professional obligations, all while maintaining humor.
4. Navigating Relationships and Gifts As Valentine's Day takes center stage, the hosts brainstorm creative yet practical gift ideas, steering away from traditional, potentially rushed options.
This segment offers listeners unconventional yet relatable advice on cultivating meaningful connections without the stress of traditional gift-giving.
5. Light-Hearted Banter: Worms and Baby Swaddling Injecting humor into the episode, the hosts delve into quirky topics like the rarity of seeing worms and the challenges of swaddling babies.
These segments provide levity, showcasing the hosts' ability to find humor in everyday situations.
6. Sports Talk: Jimmy Butler and Tyreek Hill Reverting to their core niche of sports, the hosts analyze a controversial incident involving NBA star Jimmy Butler and NFL superstar Tyreek Hill.
These discussions reflect the hosts' blend of humor and genuine sports analysis, engaging listeners with both entertainment and insight.
7. Closing Thoughts and Listener Engagement As the episode wraps up, the hosts reflect on the day's discussions and encourage audience participation through polls.
The episode concludes on a light note, with playful exchanges about missing quality sleep and the unpredictability of parenting, leaving listeners with both laughter and food for thought.
Notable Quotes:
Conclusion "The Kerri Strug of Love" episode masterfully blends humor with heartfelt discussions, navigating the complexities of love, personal quirks, and the ever-present demands of modern life. Through candid conversations and relatable stories, Dan Le Batard and Stugotz, along with their co-hosts, offer listeners a mix of laughter and valuable insights, making it a memorable addition to their Local Hour series.