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Dan Le Batard
Now at McDonald's a McDouble is $2.50
Stugotz
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Dan Le Batard
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Chris Cote
Prices and participation may vary.
Stugotz
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Zaslow
Let's go get ready for a new case.
Stugotz
We're gonna crack this case and prove we're the greatest partners of all time. New friends you are Gary the Snake
Zaslow
and your last name Desnake.
Chris Cote
Dream Team Hidden new habitats.
Stugotz
Zootopia has a secret reptile population. You can watch the record breaking phenomenon at home. You're clearly barking at. Zootopia 2 now available on Disney Plus. Rated PG.
Chris Cote
Chris, where's your father? I wanted to start the show with catchphrases.
Mike Ryan
He's sleepy.
Chris Cote
Is he gonna be part of our draft coverage on Thursday night? Is he resting? Does he need to. Does he need to pace himself? Is he at the point where he has to pace himself if he is doing a change of show regimen where instead of doing two shows consecutively, he's doing a show in the morning and a show at night. Is he now just stamina broken?
Mike Ryan
He did say when I told him of this week's schedule, he's like, you get me for one on Thursday. I'm not doing both. So we will have him tomorrow, main show and then Thursday night for the watch along.
Dan Le Batard
I also had that decree. So I'm only on live show at night.
Chris Cote
I don't believe that we should be making decrees around here, you or him. I don't think that decrees are what we need.
Stugotz
I made a decree. The Marlins are playing a midweek game and that's the only time I go to a baseball game. So I will not be here. I'll be at Lone Depot.
Dan Le Batard
I won't be here either.
Stugotz
I'll see you there.
Mike Ryan
I'll be here.
Zaslow
I'll be here.
Chris Cote
Zazzle, did you cut Yourself shaving?
Zaslow
Oh, underneath here? Yo, don't worry about that.
Dan Le Batard
What's on that gullet? Let me see.
Stugotz
Wow, it's a nice little chunk you took out.
Zaslow
Thank you.
Stugotz
This is the Dan Levatar show with the Stugats podcast.
Chris Cote
Did Zaslow watch that Anaheim game against Edmonton late into the night, one o' clock in the morning yesterday? Did you?
Zaslow
Okay, I didn't watch that one, but I, I, I was lying in bed. We established late at night, after I was watching my stories, I went upstairs to bed. The stories is wrestling. And I brought out the tablet because my wife doesn't let me watch TV in the bedroom anymore when she's trying to sleep. And I was watching hockey.
Chris Cote
When did that get banned?
Zaslow
Few months ago.
Chris Cote
Oh, wait a minute. What happened? So you made it through two years of majestic playoff runs in hockey. What do you, what, what happened A couple of months ago?
Zaslow
She feels that she's got hand now, I guess, in the relationship.
Chris Cote
So you've got to watch it on the tablet in a different part of the house.
Zaslow
No, no, I'm watching it next to her. But, like, I got the AirPod in and, you know, I, I'm lying next door, pitch black, sucking his thumb. I got, I got the tablet on, on a pillow, on my stomach.
Stugotz
Your powers of Pain pajamas.
Mike Ryan
If you're on pinky on your back, you'll fall asleep and drop it on your face.
Stugotz
Yeah, that's embarrassing your tummy.
Zaslow
I can't. And I can't put the, the brightness. I got to put the brightness down a little bit on the iPad because, you know, it could wake her up.
Mike Ryan
There's nothing better I'm with him on this than, like, when it's dark in a room and you put that brightness down and like, the, there's nothing better
Chris Cote
feeling of that choice.
Mike Ryan
Turn down the brightness.
Chris Cote
That would prefer sex, but that would be your choice on nominating something for the feeling of. Okay, all right, that's.
Zaslow
And I can tell you, Dan, if I position the iPad properly on my, on my stomach, it kind of feels like I'm watching the tv, you know, because it's like the same shape. Oh, I trick myself.
Stugotz
You're cosplaying. TV time.
Zaslow
I trick myself. This is early a TV I'm watching.
Chris Cote
What happened in the last couple of months? You've been watching sports and way too much sports for way too long. What happened in the last couple of months that finally fed up your wife? I don't know.
Zaslow
She, like I said, she feels that she's got hands in the relationship right now. Like, at some point, I guess the tables turned where she feels like she's in control. But can I tell you something? Okay. Because you're saying I've been watching a lot of sports. Last night was like a breaking point for my wife because it was. It was 8pm all right? And that's when my stories come on, of course, on Monday nights. And I yelled upstairs to my son, Jordan, go, Jordan, come on. Raw's about to start. And like, he watches it with me. He watches wrestling with me. And my wife turns to me because she was watching TV in the family room and she knows that means that I'm about to take over the remote and tv and she says, it's every single night. And I go watch, goes, I don't remember. Like, you're watching wrestling six nights a week.
Stugotz
Yeah, it's been a big week for that.
Zaslow
That's what I tried to explain to her, but she says, like, it's every night now. When did this start? You're watching wrestling every night.
Stugotz
Well, make sure to treat her real good. Today is a Tuesday because right back on Wednesday. You know what that means? It's Wednesday night. Dynamite.
Zaslow
I'll turn the brightness down extra low on the iPad tonight.
Chris Cote
Were you watching Senators? Hurricanes Were watching. You were watching that live? This was before tablet time?
Zaslow
No, I was watching on the tablet. Okay.
Chris Cote
Yeah, that's what you were watching. What, what were your thoughts on that over time?
Zaslow
I mean, it was wild, right? Like, I'm rooting for the centers, of course, because it's always after Hurricanes. Not the Miami Hurricanes, the Carolina Hurricanes. Like, that's a given.
Stugotz
Manny Diaz did ring the, the alarm, the siren before.
Zaslow
You felt like that was a good sign for Ottawa, you know, and yeah, the centers, they blew it. The centers dominated the third period. They played really well in overtime. I hate the canes and the canes once, that was obnoxious. Hockey's good, man. Glad it was.
Stugotz
That was a great game. That was playoff hockey. Everybody eating pucks. Omar was out of his mind. There was a game save on Kachuk. There was a game winning goal. Dan, that off the board after, like what had happened in the build up to the play. There was like a full like 90 seconds that happened after the offside. You get the game winning goal from Martin Nook and they go to the, the replay system, they decide, hey, no, in this build up before the penalty, they were offside. However, in this instance, while they pull the goal back, the penalty call stands and they awarded a penalty shot. In which Martin hook miss a penalty. But then later on in the game, Roy Mort Nook gets to be the hero. Yeah, absolutely.
Chris Cote
Like he was.
Stugotz
That was vindication right there for him. So good on him. Ended up scoring the game winning goal. And now hurricane's up 2 nothing going to Ottawa. This Ottawa team is so deep. I don't think this series is over. It hasn't started because no road team has won just yet. Oh, yeah.
Zaslow
Come on.
Stugotz
I like the way they play. I think they're deep. And it's not a popular stance to take a lower seed down in an 02 hole, but I would not write them off.
Mike Ryan
Flyers Penguins has definitely started. Geez, poor Danishek fraud.
Chris Cote
Put it on the poll, please. At Lebatard show. Was everyone eating pucks last night? There are a couple of things here locally that I wanted to talk about, including Mike Ryan saying with a straight face, you heard him say this, right? Quote, I know the brain of the Heat fan. You heard him say this today, correct?
Zaslow
Yeah, he said it. He said it like it was chest out too.
Stugotz
Sick, sick mind.
Chris Cote
And he was mentioning this because he was saying if Bam were not on the Heat, he would be the disgruntled superstar that the Heat would be trying to get.
Stugotz
Tell me I'm wrong. Tell me. I'm. I'm telling you a lie right now. He is absolutely the superstar in purgatory on a middling franchise that is saying all the things after games that Heat fans would absolutely read into and photoshop him. So today he's a superstar. No, I'm saying this is. This is the mind of the Heat fan. The Heat fan doesn't think Bam is good enough. However, if he were on another team and he would be.
Zaslow
That sounds like what you're saying.
Stugotz
Yeah, that's you. No, I. Look, you know where I stand on Bam. We stand.
Dan Le Batard
Where do you stand on him? Is he a superstar? Is he not a superstar?
Stugotz
I don't think he's a superstar. I think he's. He's an all star. He's a tremendous two weight player. He's one of the best players in franchise history. We have seen the ceiling of this team when Bam is your best player. But what. Tell me what I'm telling.
Chris Cote
How are you guys defining superstar? Okay. Because there's.
Zaslow
Can he be your best player and you can win a championship?
Chris Cote
Well, how many of those are there? Five.
Dan Le Batard
Handful.
Chris Cote
Five?
Stugotz
Yeah. I mean, there are guys like that just don't have the right supporting cast.
Chris Cote
Jokic has won one.
Stugotz
Yeah, yeah. Like Anthony Edwards. Is a superstar. He hasn't won a championship yet, but if you surround him with the right team and the right organization, he's certainly.
Chris Cote
But when I. When I ask you guys, though, to name the superstars, the. The reason I'm doing this is because I guess Jalen Brunson is now becoming a superstar.
Dan Le Batard
He's a superstar.
Chris Cote
Yeah. But I don't know if I can win something with him as my best player. I don't know that. And so if that can't be the definition of what a superstar is.
Zaslow
But I think, see, Jalen Brunson's a tricky one because isn't the reason. Wouldn't we agree. The reason we don't think that you could win with him is because of his stature, which we saw in full display last night, by the way.
Chris Cote
Yeah, the stature makes it that throughout basketball history, somebody that size. Unless you're saying. Unless you're. Isaiah. There's no one who wins at that size as the. As the lead player.
Dan Le Batard
Allen Iverson got close, but, like, if we're talking about winning a championship defines you as a superstar, I don't think that's the metric. That's what was revolutionary. Beyond superstar.
Stugotz
AI would get you Seals. Isaiah Thomas was a tremendous defender on the ball. Jalen Brunson, defensively, liability.
Zaslow
They killed him last night.
Chris Cote
Yeah. And there. I want to talk about that game in a second. But, Tony, when you mentioned Alan Iverson got to the Finals. Yeah, he got to the finals in the same way Jimmy Butler got to the finals and got swept in five games. And Mike has called them a failure since. Like. And. And we. We had.
Stugotz
He did get swept in five games. That's how that Lakers one felt, and that's how that Nuggets one fe.
Chris Cote
Jimmy Butler is a superstar. Correct.
Dan Le Batard
Yes, he is.
Chris Cote
It can't be that I can win something with him as my best player. When we had that conversation for three years and then they ran into.
Stugotz
All right, like, just Amin was pounding the table that Jimmy was a superstar. And I mean, he almost got there. Who knows how that bubble shakes out of everybody, carry that team in the
Zaslow
finals twice, like superstar.
Chris Cote
Okay, but the question before he got here was, can you win with him as your best player? And then they couldn't with him as their best player. And the other person we're talking about here, we're having this conversation as bam, when I can make a pretty decent argument that bam's as good a number two as there is in the league. But that doesn't make you a superstar.
Zaslow
Yeah, see, your definition of that's different than mine. It's like this idea that if you didn't win the last game of the season, you weren't good enough.
Mike Ryan
And that.
Zaslow
That to me. That to me is bullshit. You know, like you. You could. You could lose to a team that was better. Like, your team is good enough if you're in the final round, your team's good enough. You're there, you're playing for the championship.
Stugotz
Yeah, you.
Chris Cote
You say this, but Vince Carter got to the finals, never won anything, was a superstar, and when he got to the finals, got swept. And they didn't actually have a chance in those Finals. That team is forgotten forevermore because that Nets team of Vince Carter and Richard Jefferson ends up getting to the Finals, and it's not REM winner. The Nets are a loser franchise. And that's remembered as their best season, but it ended at the end with them not actually being closed because they got swept.
Zaslow
I mean, they lost the Lakers and the Spurs.
Stugotz
I mean, eye on the ball, though. The mentally deranged Miami Heat fan would absolutely be photoshopping Bam out of bio is the larger point as he professes his love to his coach after the 83 point game. Like, I. I understand what you're saying. There's. There's been plenty of sound. I'm sick of being in the play in.
Zaslow
I don't think Mike is saying that Bam. Purgatory believes Bam is disgruntled.
Stugotz
No, no. What I'm saying is. And you're getting to it, the Heat fan would absolutely decontextualize something. Wouldn't take all the other, we're not beating the teams that we should like. He said enough things that he. Fans who have a supreme radar for these things would absolutely seize on and say, that's our guy.
Chris Cote
Tony. What happened there? That sounded like an off.
Stugotz
What happened?
Chris Cote
That sounded like an off. It's fibula, Mike Sneeze. Exactly what it was into your hands. Was it wet?
Dan Le Batard
It looked a lot when it was into my. Because I do the crook of the elbow. Dracula sneez.
Chris Cote
But you didn't get into the elbow, though. It looked like you were sneezing into your bare hands. That they were lower and you were catching it like you would in a bucket.
Dan Le Batard
It was close, but I was able to get to the crook. The issue is, Dan, that we're renovating the house and yesterday I had to de. Dust the walls. You know what that means? So I got the compound all over it. I know you're a homeowner so you got the compound all over it, right?
Stugotz
He is.
Dan Le Batard
I don't know, it almost got taken by somebody else. But he is a homeowner. Close to the bone.
Zaslow
My bad.
Dan Le Batard
Okay, so we got compound everywhere, right? And then I gotta sand the compound down, and then the dust of that stays on the wall. So I have to sit there with a microfiber towel and wipe off the dust of the walls. Had a mask, had goggles, but the mask, it didn't. It was like kind of halfway open and it snuck in. So I got all the dust in my lungs and in my nose. So I'm battling through the dust right now.
Stugotz
Dan.
Zaslow
Sounds terrible.
Stugotz
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Mike Ryan
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Stugotz
See moneylion.com Don LeBatard I went in the margins. I'm like. I'm like, you're money ball of sex. I'm basically Scott Hatterberg. Stu.
Mike Ryan
Lot of walks, but I'm on base
Stugotz
when it comes to sex. A lot of foul tips. Other. Other dudes, they can be Giambi.
Dan Le Batard
You know your role, you play.
Stugotz
I know my role. This is the Dan Levatar show with the stug.
Chris Cote
Zaz, what happened to that mark on your chin? It looks like somebody hit you in the face with a cleaver.
Zaslow
I mean, we already established. Caught myself shaving. My God. You don't know how to. You don't sometimes shave and cut yourself? And then you walk around, everybody asks you about it. How annoying is that? Whatever. All right. See, everybody can see now.
Chris Cote
No, they can't see it because of the angles in here. It is. It is a chunk of blood that you have on the lower part of your face. And while you say, what's the matter, Dan? You never seen someone cut themselves shaving before? Never before on a national sports television show? No, I've never seen it before.
Zaslow
What am I supposed to do?
Chris Cote
But I'm saying, keep it tight. You ask me a question. You ask me a question, and I will ask you. Tony Kornheiser's been an old man on television for 25 years. I have never seen his face with a cut from shaving. I've never seen anybody who does national sports television have. Do the show with blood on their face.
Zaslow
Awesome. Maybe that's why I'm here. I'm doing stuff that's never been done before.
Stugotz
We seize on insecurities, but we do so in the form of a question that makes it more palatable.
Chris Cote
Do you guys have for me, can you give me some sort of photo of Tony battling the dust? Did you get any of that on camera? Him sneezing into his hand? There you have it there. That looks like Tony.
Mike Ryan
That's fighting a sneeze.
Stugotz
If I lost.
Chris Cote
That looks like Tony reacting to Mike's bad opinion. That's what that looks like.
Dan Le Batard
No, I was. No, I was on point.
Stugotz
Is that we'd absolutely be Photoshopping Batmona Biological.
Dan Le Batard
He's an all star. He's not a superstar.
Chris Cote
I didn't say that your opinion was bad. I said that the video they just showed me made it look like if I just had to put a caption on it, I would say, here's Tony reacting to a stinky Mike Ryan opinion because it doesn't look like he's batting ballot battling allergies there. It looks like what he's battling is,
Stugotz
why are we all being attacked by Dan today? This is nuts. Who I want to get attacked? I think that if you built a perfect team around Bam the same way, you've built a pretty perfect.
Zaslow
No, no, no.
Stugotz
They've built a hell of a qualifier. All right, so. All right, so if you built a very good supporting cast, win a gold medal. You're right. Listen, if you build a really good supporting cast around Bam the same way you've built a really good supporting cast around Brunson, you're more likely to win a title with Bam as your number one than Brunson. Well, a lot of the guys that
Mike Ryan
are saying they haven't done that.
Stugotz
A lot of the guys that are built around Brunson are guys that were readily available via trade in the Miami Heat decided we're not going. The conversation I'm having, okay. I'm doing a theoretical thing. It's interesting because theoretically, they have failed Bam Adebayo in doing that. While other teams in the east have built around, like, plug and play guys like Siakam. The NBA has moved away from the model that Pat Riley is still married to. They are building more complete teams right now. And the Miami Heat seem to be really struggling with this.
Zaslow
I always run into a problem when I have to sneeze on a plane. Like, that happened to me a couple weeks ago when I came back from Colorado because I don't want to be rude. And then, like, if some of the sneeze gets on the person sitting next to me, because it's just me and my wife on the plane. And I don't know how you sit on the plane, Stan, but I buy an aisle seat, and my wife gets the aisle seat right next.
Mike Ryan
I do, too.
Zaslow
We don't sit next to each other because, you know, she doesn't want to sit in the middle. And obviously, she'd be the one sitting in the middle, not me. And then when I have to sneeze, it's like how if I sneeze into the. Into the pit of my arm, I don't want a little bit to go somewhere, and then it gets on somebody, and it's very disgusting.
Mike Ryan
You ever go inside shirt?
Zaslow
No.
Stugotz
Yeah, that's.
Dan Le Batard
That's what I.
Mike Ryan
That's what I would do on a plane, really. Unless it feels super like mucusy, which is rare. If it just feels like a standard sneeze, you just lift up the shirt.
Chris Cote
Boom.
Dan Le Batard
Zaz, you had Dan in, in economy with three people in a seat where he sits, where there's only two buys all three. So he's on the. There is no three. When you're in first class, there's only two.
Mike Ryan
But if he were in economy, he'd buy all three.
Chris Cote
Zaz, how would you feel about us calling Tamara and having her maiden voyage on the show and just asking her what happened here? That makes you now tablet time guy that like what happen happened in the last two months that she has finally grown fed up with the television and its light?
Zaslow
Right. Well, first of all, she has a job. All right? That's, that's first and foremost. Got to point that out. It's after nine.
Chris Cote
I mean, so does Greg Cody's wife running a law firm. And she takes time out of her day to call the show on Tuesdays to celebrate how we come back. Her husband is.
Zaslow
Good comeback.
Stugotz
My wife, when you're a partner, it's a little bit different. My wife's got one of those real jobs.
Zaslow
My wife's not good under the, under the lights, you know, she, she buckles under the pressure. She gets very nervous. All right, we established that many years ago when Booge Shambi tried this with her and we brought her on the air and she was a mess. She did not like it.
Chris Cote
Let's not take the hand.
Stugotz
Keep pushing.
Chris Cote
Send Chris Cody her contact information to see if we could get Tamara before the end of the show. My man. I'll get to that Knicks Hawks game in a second because you guys are talking about. Yeah, they gave up five first round picks because Bridges was the last piece they needed to win a championship. And then all of a sudden, right, this happened. You guys remember that one brief moment in time where a rod changed everything by trading five first round picks for Rudy Gobert? And then for, for a little bit of time, I don't know how long it was. The going rate for A Bridges was five first round picks when the Knicks decided that was the last piece and then they stopped doing that. They did it for how long? Was it just a crazy spell of like 18 months where go Bear. Gobert's the first human being ever. That bothers Jokic a little bit every once in a while.
Stugotz
He's so confusing to watch in certain series because in this series you absolutely get why they paid the price that they did and then depending on the opponent that they get in the next round. Totally played off the court. It's just a bizarre player.
Chris Cote
Yeah, but there's only one human being on earth who bothers that guy. There's not a second one. Like, it ain't Wemby. It ain't Wemby yet. He put up 40 points three straight times on Wemby.
Stugotz
You remember when the Miami Heat made Bismarck Biyombo like a trillionaire?
Zaslow
Oh yeah. And that seven game series in 2016.
Chris Cote
Do you remember when I yelled at Stephen A. Smith for choosing Tim Duncan over Roy Hibbert?
Zaslow
Everyone remembers that.
Chris Cote
Was that my inner monologue?
Stugotz
You buried yourself here.
Chris Cote
I have a number of different things to discuss locally and not a lot of time to do it. I have not yet had time to celebrate the Cyclones. The Cyclones had what Mike Ryan was calling their biggest match of the year last Thursday. And they have survived the team, the Hilai team that we own as we continue to try to keep Jai Alai alive throughout the region and internationally by owning a team, a defending champion team. What happened in the last game, the penultimate game? You were terrified. You were scared, you were mad at the television. And that wasn't even the most important game. This was the most important match of the season, was it not?
Stugotz
It was because it was a win. And in scenario for your Cyclones. Now there was an interesting development in Battle Court, Dan. The players were complaining about the balls on this new court. The balls would get cold as the game would go on and it would lead to some pretty unpredictable bounces. And for a team that is built via backcourt, Dan, that is a huge problem when our world class backcourt ers cannot read the backbone. It's the Repotes. You gotta be able to read the Repotes anyways. More consistent play out of the pelota now. And it resulted in us, you know, beating down the Warriors. The oldest rivalry in Battle Court and we have punched our ticket to the playoffs. This is the final week of the regular season. We are now playing for seeding. And an interesting question is being asked around highlight circles. Do you tank to avoid go cherry?
Mike Ryan
I say no. Anytime you do this, anytime you try to win or lose for playoff seatings to avoid to go after certain teams, just a bad omen. You just play the game, you play to win the game and you let the chips fall where they may.
Stugotz
I will give you insight into our culture. Our culture is to not tank. Primarily because we have no say in the matter Right.
Chris Cote
Put it on the poll, please. Do you have to be able to handle the rivote and also put it on the poll? Do you know what a rivote is? Chris, do you have that sound, please? I saw it on last week tonight, and we can't play that sound. But there are an assortment of Pittsburgh broadcasters who were trying. And rabote is what made me think of this. Who were trying to pronounce the word boricue.
Stugotz
And boricua.
Chris Cote
Boricua. I'm sorry. Thank you.
Dan Le Batard
That's a bet, Dan.
Chris Cote
Abort, abort, abort.
Stugotz
Woof. It's draft week. Transition. Ty Simpson.
Zaslow
Ooh.
Dan Le Batard
Do you see, Michael?
Chris Cote
To the Rams, boricua is the. Is the phrase for a Puerto Rican. And in Pittsburgh, they are selling the hot dogs, and they're just calling. I guess they're just calling them boricua dogs. But in Pittsburgh, an assortment of broadcasters were trying to pronounce this word, and it's spelled at the end cue, and so they were all struggling with it. Chris, do you have that sound? Play that sound of. You have.
Mike Ryan
I have a bunch of them separated, so I have a bunch of different examples.
Chris Cote
Okay, so just how do you spell Tony? I don't know how to spell boricua.
Dan Le Batard
There's no e whatsoever. There's an E in Spanish, which is I in English, but B, O, r, I, C, U, a boricua.
Chris Cote
And so let's hear the sound here from an assortment of Pittsburgh broadcasters.
Dan Le Batard
Oracula.
Stugotz
That's tough. It's almost as bad as Dan, though, let's be honest.
Tamara
Whoa.
Stugotz
I don't get this. How is this so hard? Did nobody listen to Big Pun?
Dan Le Batard
Boricua.
Stugotz
Boricua Morena.
Chris Cote
They were having some trouble with that. Can you guys give me some information on the boricua hot dog? Like what it. What makes it a Puerto Rican hot dog? What is it? What. Why are they selling in Pittsburgh a Puerto Rican hot dog? I don't know what a Puerto Rican hot dog is. I don't know how it's different than any other hot dog. You will get me that information at your leisure. Somebody mentioned the draft on Thursday night. We are, as a show, doing a livestream the evening of Thursday. And I don't know how long we'll be on, but you can watch the draft with us. And it's. It's a big day locally because it's not just that the Miami Dolphins have a whole bunch of picks and you don't know who their players are, and they've fumigated. The building. And so it's just a total reset on the franchise that we have not seen before. But also the University of Miami is going to have three first round picks and that hasn't happened in a minute I'd mentioned before. Or that the Miami Hurricanes have never really had one pass rusher off the edge the way that they had two this season. Like in the history of the program, they haven't had one guy like the two that they had on the edges this season because Calais Campbell is the closest thing. I guess Daniel Stubbs was. Bill Hawkins was a first round pick. But it wasn't like this where they're the names of the draft, Rousseau and Jalen Phillips.
Stugotz
People sleep on them. They were highly productive players. At the same time, I think you can say now with certainty it was a hyperbolic take in the middle of the season and you were weighing it against history, but this was a national runner up. I think you can say with conviction that this was the best pass rushing duo on the edge that Miami has ever had in their illustrious program. History. Sports fans, all the sports are coming together. It's a great time to just sit on your couch, text your friend, hey, come over, let's watch the game. And when I do that to my friends, guess what? They text me back, I got the Miller Lights. That's right, they pick up Miller Lite pretty much anywhere they sell beer. And they come over to my place, we take that first sip and we realize, man, we just made a regular old fashioned night into a special night. Thank you Miller Lite. And shortly thereafter we got multiple screens on. Everybody's dialed into something different and the whole night just keeps building and building and building. That's why I reached for Miller Light Light. It can take an ordinary night and take it to an extraordinary place. It's clean, refreshing, easy to drink, brewed for taste with simple ingredients, just 96 calories and 3.2 carbs. The original light beer since 1975 and still hitting different cheers to legendary moments with Miller Lite. Great taste. 96 calories. Go to millerlight.com dan to find delivery options near you. Or you can pick up some Miller Lite pretty much anywhere they sell beer. It's Miller time. Celebrate responsibly. Miller Brewing Co. Milwaukee, Wisconsin 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces.
Dan Le Batard
Sometimes I feel like we're all really good at handling everything around us and just ignoring what's going on in our own head. Like your phone breaks, you fix it immediately, your car makes A weird noise. You're like, all right, let's figure this one out. But then your brain's off. Stress, burnout, not sleeping, right? We just kind of go, yeah, I'll deal with it later and later. Just keeps moving and moving and moving. And that's why therapy matters. Not because something's wrong. Wrong because it gives you a way to sort things out before it all stacks up. The problem is that actually getting started has always felt like a process. Finding someone, figuring out insurance, waiting weeks just to talk to somebody. And that's usually where people tap out. And that's where RULA comes in. Rule is a healthcare provider group that makes therapy easier to actually access. They connect you with licensed therapists who take your insurance, and sessions can be as low as 15 bucks. You answer a few questions, find someone who fits what you need, and you could be talking to someone as soon as the next day.
Mike Ryan
Day.
Dan Le Batard
Thousands of guys have already used RULA to finally get the care that they need. Don't keep putting it off. Go to rula.comdan and get started today. That's Rula. R u l a.com dan take the first step. Get connected and take control of your mental health.
Stugotz
Hey, Roy, buddy. Yo. You know that energy shift when the game gets good and everybody all together in unison knows to stand up on their feet? Oh, I have, Absolutely. Mike. Yeah. You've been at many big time sporting events. You know that moment quite well. That's what it's like when you take your first sip of Cuervo.
Dan Le Batard
Oh, delicious.
Stugotz
It's the signal that says, we're not checking the time anymore, pal. It's when small talk turns into stories. Cuervo, man. It's that high five. A random stranger effect.
Dan Le Batard
That's right.
Stugotz
The game is popping. You're hugging people you never met before. That's the kind of energy that Cuervo brings. It's so smart, so delicious. That's the Cuervo effect. Keep it Cuervo. Don Lebatard.
Zaslow
My algorithm on Instagram is Dan. It's all boobs,
Stugotz
stugats.
Zaslow
It's a good algorithm.
Stugotz
This is the Dan Levatar show with the stugats.
Chris Cote
I really do think I can formulate an argument on these guys as just talents that you draft. Each one of them is better than almost anyone they've ever had doing that. Just how the NFL assesses these things. Are we taking you in the top 20? Miami has had guys who come up the middle who they'll take in the top 20, but not. Not even Calais Campbell, not Jalen Phillips. There, there. There's not something I, I don't think. I think I can make the argument that either one of these guys are as, as talented an edge rusher as they have ever had. But what is it that you're most interested? Mike, you were at the spring game. You. You.
Stugotz
Yeah. All the prospects, two for the NFL draft. Because Miami has an outside shot at four first round draft picks. We'll see if a front office falls in love with Keonte Scott. Everybody was at practice. And also Elijah Arroyo. Jesus, he's put together. He's got that super bowl glow on him. They've been at all the practices. Cece Ma, who seems to be at the center of one of the more interesting storylines right now because it seems as though Arizona is trying to put out smoke signals that they're interested in Jeremiah Love at number three when most people have Maanoa going there. Now, Mawanoa has a back injury that has come to light throughout this process. It's an asymptomatic disc in his back, but it does have teams a little bit worried, so it may hurt his stock. We still expect him to go top 10. Ruben Bane went through the news stream because of his off the field thing. And very interesting reaction to that because it was a sensational headline. People wrongfully call it reckless driving when it wasn't. That citation was dismissed.
Zaslow
Yeah, those are two different things.
Stugotz
Well, here's what it was an accident because it wasn't either of those things. That's what the law enforcement people decided. And he wasn't going over the speed limit. He wasn't inebriated. He wasn't given even a field test. The officers on the scene didn't feel like that was required. What he did do, though, was this happened before his worsey at the University of Miami. It obviously, I asked around. It messed with him. How could it not? He was in a car in which somebody months later after the accident passed away. And I was in one sense, like, I felt bad for the young man. That's a horrible thing to go through. You're kind of refreshed that it actually did weigh on him. He'd be a sociopath if he was just able to move on through life.
Chris Cote
Todd McShay called the reporting on Stugatz's podcast. He called the report. The reporter on that called him a scumbag.
Stugotz
Yeah, you don't. You don't really hear that. Although Todd does tend to shoot from the hip a little bit, especially nowadays. But that was surprising because it's not like the report was wrong. Ali Conley was first. It was just in NFL circles, unseemly. I think Ali was kind of used, and I think he was kind of used by a team that wanted to use this really tragic moment to actually perhaps tank Ruben Bane stock so they could get him, which is an interesting move. Mezador should certainly get drafted in the first round. Keonta Scott, who's one of my favorite players to ever put on that uniform. Honestly, absolute dog. It will be interesting to see how we replace that mentality. I hope he gets drafted in the first round.
Chris Cote
Yes. This is very exciting. Look at this. We've got. Tamara's here. And I don't want to bury her in questions, but I do want to bury her husband. Thank you for joining us. It's nice to see you.
Tamara
Good morning. Likewise.
Chris Cote
Just want to know why it is that he's got tablet time now. He's not allowed to have the television on anymore. Over the last couple of months, he's got to watch it under the covers. Hiding what happened here that changed the rules in the house.
Tamara
Sleep is important.
Chris Cote
Yeah, but it was important before the last couple of months. And clearly you've reached a breaking point. So what happened?
Tamara
I have. Unfortunately, between the snoring and the bright lights.
Dan Le Batard
Whoa.
Tamara
It's just time to establish some boundaries.
Zaslow
She says the TV emits too much heat.
Chris Cote
Yeah, but. But what? And forgive me for being a nosy journalist that continues to ask follow ups as if it's an interrogation, but what specifically happened? He's been somebody who watches too much sports in bed for the entire time you've known him. Now it's a problem. Why is it now a problem?
Mike Ryan
Snoring, she said.
Tamara
Yes, it's just excessive. Especially it's. It's now wrestling, so I can't stand it. So wrestling at night.
Chris Cote
Okay, that's what it is. So you're okay with the heat? You're okay with the Panthers? It's these guys. It's these guys all lathered up in oils, running around in tights that remind you that you're married to a toddler, basically. Okay.
Tamara
It's nonsense.
Chris Cote
The breaking point is wrestling, Zads. It's that wrestling is. It's not that it's sports. It's specifically wrestling is the problem.
Tamara
Problem. And the snoring.
Mike Ryan
What kind of snoring are we talking here? Just on your back snoring? Or even on his side, too? Because that's dangerous.
Tamara
It's. It's. It's all the time, it's a light rumble. It's disruptive. If I wake up in the middle of the night, it takes me 15 to 20 minutes to fall back asleep. I have to nudge him. He apologizes. It's a mess. So at least this way I can go to sleep by myself. I can enter into deep REM sleep. And then when he joins in the bed, I don't even know he's there. There. That's the best case scenario.
Zaslow
That's. That's her preference. Not knowing I'm there.
Tamara
No wrestling.
Zaslow
That's the best scenario. Not knowing I'm there.
Chris Cote
She's got to go. Unfortunately. Just one last question, Random. No reason at all that I'm asking it. Have you ever been watching a news anchor of any kind in all of your history watching television and that person has a cut on their face?
Tamara
I don't think so.
Mike Ryan
I'll see that.
Zaslow
I mean, Dad's making fun of me because you see under here, like, I have a cut today, you know? And he says, who shows up to war with blood on their chin? And that's me. I'm the answer.
Tamara
How'd you do that?
Zaslow
Shaving.
Tamara
Oh. Be more careful.
Chris Cote
Good advice. Thank you, Tamara. It is nice seeing you.
Zaslow
Thanks. This went well for me. Thank you.
Dan Le Batard
Yo, you snore.
Stugotz
So. But we just did a zoom in on your face. There's a fair amount of hair on your face still. Did you cut yourself early on and decide, you know what? This is for the birds?
Zaslow
Yeah. Like, it grows back. Like, I'm a werewolf.
Stugotz
But that's a fresh wound and you got like several days growth. I don't understand it. 5 o' clock shadow at 9:30.
Chris Cote
It's a great question. Okay. I don't know who you guys would nominate, because History of sports Kurt Warner, for me, is the guy who shaves at 9am and by the 10am interview, he's already got stubble because his face just gives off aggressive human growth hormone in terms of just growing and sprouting air at a rate of speed that's unreasonable. But what a great question Mike Ryan has asked. It doesn't make sense that we have. What is. It appears to be a fresh cut in the face of a man who has stubble that just. The timeline doesn't add.
Zaslow
It's not that fresh. I think I touch it and all of a sudden I. Blood on my hand. It's a scab.
Chris Cote
If I had detectives here, they would say that this is a crime scene and the evidence doesn't add up. It doesn't make sense that you're alleging this.
Zaslow
I did not expect this when I came in today on patience.
Stugotz
Twere and thin. Don't like this.
Tamara
Beginning to know why I'm in this seat right now.
Zaslow
Don't like it. Okay. The inner monologue graphic of me is offensive.
Chris Cote
The draft on Thursday night, when you talk about the University of Miami hasn't had one like this in 15 years. Or we're looking at more than 15 years. And the Dolphins are going to have their best day of the year, are they not? Is there. Are the Dolphins going to have a better day that this entire year that feels better than whatever it is that happens tomorrow is going to feel when you're going to be filled with hope on something?
Stugotz
I don't think the Dolphins will have a better day this season. Maybe they can snipe a good team during the course of the regular season, make you feel like you're on the right track. Also, a lot. You have a new course. So if he looks good.
Zaslow
Right.
Stugotz
That's a huge opportunity for you to get excited for the season. That's a big unknown. Interesting stuff surrounding Achan. There's been a lot of posturing through NFL insiders, and it's weird. If I were to read it right now and trying to read between the lines as to who this benefits, it kind of seems like the Miami Dolphins are really trying to get out there that Achan is kind of like, available. So I'd be curious.
Chris Cote
Well, they've done the opposite of that.
Stugotz
Yeah. But I kind of kind of don't believe him. I feel like they're doing that to get attention.
Chris Cote
Okay, so. But what are we doing? So what we're saying, just to be clear, is that the new people who run the Miami Dolphins are opening the bidding on how they're going to be received by the audience by telling you publicly and loudly that the one remaining players anyone has an attachment to is the one who's not available. Like, that's where they're going to start their introduction to Miami.
Stugotz
We've seen this in the NBA all the time. This person is not available. We are not taking calls on.
Zaslow
It's a new regime.
Chris Cote
But we've had this discussion before. Okay. And like, I can't believe that your skepticism rises to the level that the people would start by lying on something that they don't need to lie about. They could just make him available privately or not. They don't need to go to an insider and say this isn't available just to drum up interest either people are interested or they're not.
Stugotz
And it's been reported that they are far apart on contract talks. I think that this is part of that game.
Dan Le Batard
It's also smokescreen season. Like that's what we see now during the draft. Oh, this guy's not available. He's the number one prospect ever. Like never going to get rid of him. And then you come with something nice and it's like, okay, yeah, he's gone. And also, have you not looked around? Lying is everywhere.
Zaslow
I would also point out as far as is is Thursday going to be the best day of the season? Like, if they didn't sign Malik Willis, I would agree with that. But every week now, next season, even if the Dolphins are bad, every week now, next season is going to be an opportunity for the Dolphin fan to be excited to have interest because you have this new toy that you're hoping can be a long term toy.
Stugotz
And part of the course of these things with the star player that may or may not be available via trade is he did the part where you see Zon, he didn't show up to the off season workout. So that sends a signal across the league if you're far apart on contract talks, if you're not showing up to the workouts. And part of this could also be the new administration being like to their fans, look, we tried. We said we valued him, we said he wasn't available via trade trade, but we can't come to terms. I guess we're going to have to trade him.
Chris Cote
I understand the skepticism for a variety of different reasons. What I'm simply saying to you is that people who have earned no trust cannot open the bidding by telling us volunteering for no good reason, volunteering the information. Well, I shouldn't say for no good reason because if they're volunteering the information, they have a reason, but they're telling their fan base. The one guy on offense that you've seen play football and make plays for you, the one guy. The one guy everyone in the league knows, oh, that guy can be a little bit of a game breaker. And I haven't seen one of those very often in a Dolphin uniform recently. That's the guy that they're gonna say is untouchable. To do what?
Mike Ryan
Get the price higher.
Stugotz
Yeah.
Chris Cote
Come on, guys. So Adam Schaeffer.
Stugotz
Come on, guys. Are you gaslighting us? This is how this goes?
Chris Cote
No, the price isn't gonna be higher by. Look, the part I'm reacting to is this. The draft that happens on Thursday comes with all of these players going through a full day medical where every part of their body is tested. You think these people are so flippant with these trades that Adam Schefter's information is going to move them off of what they already think or know?
Stugotz
Here's what I would tell you. If they really sincerely valued him the way that they're projecting to their fan base, which by the way, is all PR spin, they wouldn't be far away on a contract.
Chris Cote
No, the running back position has changed so much in value that you could get Kenneth Walker for $48 million. And I'm guessing that HN wants to be worth something like that.
Stugotz
Yes. And. And they don't want to pay him that. And he will be available if the price is right. And that's what they're signing, guys.
Chris Cote
But what I'm telling you about Achan and the running back market and just how diluted all of the currency has become in that, like Achan's gonna be far apart with anybody because they've made the position worth very little. Like Achan is HN now with that team, has more value than he's ever had.
Zaslow
It's really not that bad. Going to sleep watching the tablet. I watch whatever I want.
Stugotz
Sports fans, all the sports are coming together. It's a great time to just sit on your couch, text your friend, hey, come over. Let's watch the games. And when I do that to my friends, guess what? They text me back, I got the Miller Lights. That's right, they pick up Miller Light pretty much anywhere they sell beer. And they come over to my place, we take that first sip and we realize, man, we just made a regular old fashioned night into a special night. Thank you, Miller Light. And shortly thereafter, we got multiple screens on. Everybody's dialed into something different. And the whole night just keeps building and building and building. That's why I reached for Miller Light. It can take an ordinary night and take it to an extraordinary place. It's clean, refreshing, easy to drink, proof of taste with simple ingredients. Just 96 calories and 3.2 carbs. The original light beer since 1975 and still hitting different cheers to legendary moments with Miller Lite. Great taste. 96 calories. Go to millerlight.com dan to find delivery options near you. Or you can pick up some Miller Lite pretty much anywhere they sell beer. It's Miller time. Celebrate responsibly. Miller Brewing Co. Milwaukee, Wisconsin. 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Local Hour: The Tablet Time Decree (feat. Tamara Zaslow)
April 21, 2026
Broadcasting from the Elser Hotel in Downtown Miami, Dan Le Batard, Stugotz, and the crew take listeners through a hilarious, open-ended exploration of sports, pop culture, and South Florida living. This “Local Hour” zeroes in on domestic “decrees” (the newfound home rule against TV in Zaslow’s bedroom), sports fandom psychology, defining “superstar” status in the NBA, Miami-based sports storylines, and closes with a special guest appearance by Tamara Zaslow. The tone is light and irreverent, with frequent teasing and asides.
Irreverent, quick-witted, and collaborative, the episode flows with good-natured ribbing and spontaneous detours, blending local sports enthusiasm with self-deprecating humor about domestic life. The crew pokes fun at each other’s habits, insecurities, and takes, while providing listeners in South Florida and beyond the feeling of eavesdropping on a group chat among friends, rich in Miami references and sports inside jokes.
This “Local Hour” captures the best of the show's blend: inside-the-home relatability, Miami sports pulse, meandering philosophical debates, and the personal touches that render sports talk radio into community storytelling. For listeners, it’s a revealing yet playful look at how sports obsessions play out in real life, where “decrees” in the bedroom matter as much as on the basketball court.