Local Hour: The Upset Bird & The 'Very Good' Parrot

Summary

The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz

Episode: Local Hour: The Upset Bird & The 'Very Good' Parrot
Date: April 23, 2026
Setting: Elser Hotel, Downtown Miami

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Episode Overview

This Local Hour episode, recorded live from the Elser Hotel in Miami, is a classic, free-flowing roundtable featuring Dan Le Batard, Stugotz, Greg Cody, Chris Cody, Mike Ryan, Trista, Rose, and Brooks Austin. Grounded in the quirky energy and friendly chaos characteristic of the show, it toggles between sports talk (heavy on South Florida sports and the NFL Draft), local Miami flavor, and comedic digressions—anchored by repeated references to Greg Cody’s “Upset Bird” and the kind of inside jokes only longtime listeners will fully appreciate.

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Major Discussion Points & Insights

1. Stat of the Day: Marlins Talk

• Dan’s Skepticism about Jeremy’s much-hyped “Stat of the Day” (00:24) launches the show’s first big topic: the Miami Marlins.
• Mike Ryan delivers two stats:
  • “The Marlins have three of the top seven hitters in baseball in batting average.”
  • “They’re the only team in the history of baseball to never lose 12 straight games.” (01:12)
• Show consensus: The second stat is the true stand-out.
  • Chris Cody (01:39): “The first I did not care about. The second one, though, that’s... you got something there.”
• Old School Baseball Discussion:
  • Greg Cody lauds the Marlins' “station to station” style, noting their baserunning struggles (01:51).
  • Extended riff on Chandler Simpson and the dwindling art of the “speed guy who doesn’t hit home runs.”
    • Dan (02:21): “He’s faster D. Gordon. But Dee Gordon hit home runs. Chandler Simpson does not.”
  • Dan (03:08): “I can never get you guys interested in the Rays.”

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2. NFL Draft Excitement, Media Personalities, and the Dave Damaschek Arm Mystery

• Draft Talk:
  • Dan (03:42): “We don’t usually cover the draft. We’re going to cover it this year.”
  • Photo of Dave Damaschek triggers a prolonged, comical examination of his “deformed” arm positioning in a Steelers’ office (03:42-04:47), with speculation on everything from insecurities to prosthetics.
    • Chris Cody (04:25): “Why is his arm so heavy?”
    • Mike Ryan (04:57): “This is a classic. I’m a little nervous about the midsection... This is just insecurity.”
  • Rose nails the vibe: “It’s a classic Ricky Bobby situation where he didn’t know what to do with his hands.” (05:25)

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3. Miami Food Culture, Stadium Eats & Ropa Vieja

• Mike Ryan's Marlins Matinee Rituals and the legendary “El Machete” quesadilla:
  • Dan (06:02): “How much does that cost, Mike?”
  • Greg Cody: “Only $26... actually in the bargain bin in terms of baseball food because you could legit feed a family with this.”
  • Discussion veers into the Cuban staple ropa vieja (06:23–07:07), its origins, community lore, and how regional variants get confused ("birria but without the consomme").
• Classic Show Banter:
  • Dan (07:24): “Is the meat always cheap when it comes in a can?”

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4. Awkward Show Moments Hall of Fame

• Reflection on Vince Wilfork’s infamous “I have a new wife now” interview moment:
  • Trista (09:52): “It's one of the most awkward sounds in the history of our show... might go on the Mount Rushmore of awkward.”
  • Dan (10:45): “We didn’t make it, though. That’s not divorce. That’s not separation. That’s people dying at the end of... a horrible, tragic thing.”

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5. Miami Hurricanes, The Dolphins, and Draft Day Hopes

• UM Players in the Draft:
  • Dan (11:30): “Would you bet that the Hurricanes are going to have two top ten picks tonight?”
  • Discussion on Malinoa and Reuben Bain’s draft stock, with Dolphins fans dreaming both could land locally (12:05–14:02).
  • Greg Cody: “There should be three Hurricanes in the first round. Yes. With an outside shot at four.”
• Potential for Draft-Watch Heartbreak:
  • If Reuben Bain falls to Miami and the Dolphins pass on him for yet another offensive lineman, Le Batard predicts fanbase calamity (18:05–20:16):
    • Dan (19:02): “That’ll go on the Mount Rushmore of unpopular things... if Reuben Bane falls to the Miami Dolphins and they don’t get him.”

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6. Greg Cody’s 'Upset Bird,' The 'Very Good' Parrot & Show Lore

• Deep Dive into Cody’s Best Bit:
  • Origin story of the “Upset Bird” column and how an actual “Upset Bird” bumper sticker from Dan’s brother surfaces as a local artifact (23:07–24:09).
  • Mythology: Explaining how “awk” sounds signified the Upset Bird’s picks.
    • Greg Cody: “It was crudely forced in, which made it funny.” (24:51)
  • Parrot Bit: Confirms “very good” parrot and “Upset Bird” are separate characters.

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7. Debate: College Football Player Allegiances

• When Players Transfer, Who Claims Them?
  • Lengthy discussion on whether players like Carson Beck, Dylan Gabriel, Jalen Hurts, and Cam Ward should be “claimed” by their final college, their most successful school, or their entire playing history (25:07–28:44).
    • Trista (25:57): “Do you claim Carson Beck? Like, is he one of the great Hurricanes?”
    • Greg Cody (26:18): “It’s weird. I don’t claim him as much as I claim Cam Ward... when I think of him, I still think of him in that red Georgia jersey.”
    • Mike Ryan (28:08): “It’s always going to be wherever their last stop was.”

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8. Coach Dave Wannstedt, 'Stache Lore & Miami Football History

• Remembering Coach 'WonStache':
  • Flashback to when Miami reportedly offered the Dolphins’ head coach a 20-year contract (33:48–34:55) and the uncertainty over whether that's just South Florida myth.
    • Greg Cody (33:48): “That’s why we can’t book him [as a guest].”
  • Greg Cody recalls apologizing to Wannstedt for all the “mustache” jokes over the years.
  • Old jokes like “mustache-shaped chicken fingers” and “vanilla offense with no nuts” rehashed (33:20–34:16).

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9. Coaches’ Contracts and the Value of Alabama Football

• Kaylen DeBoer’s $87 Million Extension Debated:
  • Dan (37:13): “Who gets seven year extensions like that? You don’t give seven year extensions to... you’ve shown me a little bit.”
  • Is Alabama football worth more than some NFL teams?:
    • Trista (40:02): “$7 billion.”
    • Dan (40:03): “Alabama football is worth twice as much as the Padres. ...almost twice as much as the Broncos.”
  • Thought experiment: If boosters, TV money, and the state itself could “buy” Bama football, what would it cost?

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10. Claiming College Football History, Nostalgia, & Newspaper Erasure

• Frustration over being unable to find old Miami Herald stories online:
  • Dan (43:40): “I am worried about the ability to get anything from newspapers that existed in 1990 in the modern age.”
  • Mike Ryan (43:49): “I’m worried about getting anything newspapers now.”
  • Underlining Miami’s changing relationship with both legacy and legend.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Draft Anxiety:
  • Dan (19:02): “You cannot have such a lack of history in this market that that’s how you introduce yourself, that you’re going to take an offensive lineman no matter what when for 25 years they’ve been taking offensive linemen and they can’t block anybody.”
• Awkward Classic:
  • Trista (09:52): “It’s one of the most awkward sounds in the history of our show... might go on the Mount Rushmore of awkward.”
• Cultural Miami:
  • Greg Cody (07:05): “It’s not close to Spam. It’s actual beef, but the communist version.”
• College Allegiances:
  • Mike Ryan (28:08): “It’s always going to be wherever their last stop was.”
• Bama’s Worth:
  • Trista (40:02): “$7 billion.”
  • Dan (40:03): “Alabama football is worth twice as much as the Padres.”

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Key Timestamps for Important Segments

• 00:24 – Debating the Marlins “Stat of the Day”
• 04:20 – Dave Damaschek’s “arm mystery” & sports radio shenanigans
• 06:00 – Quesadillas, Miami stadium food, and Cuban culture
• 09:52 – “Mount Rushmore of awkward” moments
• 11:30 – Hurricanes’ NFL Draft expectations
• 18:00 – If Dolphins pass on Reuben Bain, Miami would riot
• 23:07 – “Upset Bird” lore, bumper stickers, and local nostalgia
• 25:07 – Who claims whom in college sports? The transfer portal debate
• 33:48 – Reigning “WonStache” and Miami football lore
• 37:13 – DeBoer’s Bama mega-contract and college football economics
• 40:03 – What’s Alabama football actually worth?

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Episode Tone & Style

• Warm, conversational, Miami-centric with irreverent humor.
• Deeply referential—expect callbacks, inside jokes, and family stories.
• Alternates between sports insight, nostalgia, and gentle self-mockery.

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Summary

This episode is a tapestry of Miami sports anxieties, ongoing bits (the Upset Bird, Greg Cody’s parrot impressions), NFL Draft hopes, and hilarious group therapy about awkward media moments and what it means to claim a player or a tradition. Anchored by the personality-driven banter that defines the show, it’s both an affectionate roast of Miami sports culture and a love letter to South Florida fandom and its enduring, weird legends.

Transcript

[Dan Le Batard]

Start of the day start of the day it is the start of the day Start of the day Start of the day it is the start of the day Start of the day Start of the day it is the start of the day Start of the day Start of the day it is the start of the day.

Zaz, I need your help with something. I don't totally trust 100% Jeremy's judgment, and he's been bothering me for about four days. I've got a marlin stat of the day. I got a marlin stat of the day, and I haven't gone to it because I don't 100% trust that it's going to be a 10, that it's gonna. That it's not gonna be like a six or a five, that it's gonna be a ten. Is that misplaced? Am I doing that?

[Chris Cody]

No, no. I mean, my, my. My first reaction is, I mean, what, what a week. If we're on Thursday and Jeremy's been hounding you all week.

[Greg Cody]

So glad to be back.

[Dan Le Batard]

What do you have? Jeremy, here's your big chance. And we'll judge afterward what the stat of the day was, how good it was. How about this?

[Mike Ryan]

I've got two Marlins stats of the day now.

[Dan Le Batard]

Well, you've started poorly because it's one stat of the day.

[Brooks Austin]

You know what they say when you have two.

[Mike Ryan]

The Marlins have three of the top seven hitters in baseball in batting average. Also, they're the only team in the history of baseball to never lose 12 straight games.

[Dan Le Batard]

That look from Zaslo was shock. And so I would say that you deem that worthy of status. The second one more than the first, though, right?

[Chris Cody]

The first I did not care about.

[Mike Ryan]

Well, the first one was three of the top four two days ago. But then I wasn't here and I didn't get to it on the first day. So.

[Chris Cody]

The second one, though, that's. You got something there.

[Greg Cody]

Thank you. I like the first one. I like how the Marlins play. The Marlins are kind of like an old school team. They need a better baserunning coach to be like a full, like, old school team. Because that was disastrous yesterday and apparently this is a thing with the Marlins. But station to station baseball, I like it.

[Dan Le Batard]

Have you watched Chandler Simpson at all with the Tampa Bay Rays? Like everyone else in the sport is going power lift and exit velocity, and all he does is hit the ball on the ground. His career. His career.

[Brooks Austin]

Still a race guy.

[Dan Le Batard]

He's got one minor league home run. It was an inside the park Home run and one spring training home run and that's it. Four year career. He. All he does is hit the ball on the ground and run crazy fast. And it's going to be a double if you don't. If you let him have first.

[Greg Cody]

He's Walt Weiss.

[Dan Le Batard]

No, it's. No, he's. He's an incredibly fast Walt Weiss. He's like Vince Coleman. But Vince Coleman hit home runs. He's actually, he's de. He's faster. D. Gordon. But Dee Gordon hit home runs.

[Chris Cody]

Nah.

[Dan Le Batard]

No, he hit. Dee Gordon in his professional career has home runs, plural. Chandler Simpson does not. He does not have a major league home run. He's got a spring training home run and he's got a minor league inside the park home run. I can never get you guys interested in the Rays.

This is the Dan Levator show with the Stu Guts podcast.

He's the only expert NFL draft guest we've had on in years. We got a draft party tonight. Dr. Fred Johnson will be our draft analyst. We don't usually cover the draft. We're going to cover it this year. Please get me a photo of Dave Dashek and his Dan.

[Chris Cody]

Oh, my God.

[Dan Le Batard]

Deformity.

[Chris Cody]

Oh, my God.

[Dan Le Batard]

Dave Damaschek. Somebody explained to me because Lucy and Damasek are in Pittsburgh because we're really going to cover the. The draft. We're going to do this tonight. We're going to do a livestream. I don't like the draft. That should be interesting. But Lucy and Demos Sheik love the draft. And this photo that we have on your screen. Apologies to the audio audience. His right arm and he's. He's in the Pittsburgh office. He's in. He's in the headquarters of Pittsburgh right now. That is the. If you're not in the Steelers offices, that is the headquarters of Pittsburgh. Looks very much like a coach's office. The. That left arm goes down to his knee. Nobody understands why it is that this deformity is happening. He could not look more uncomfortable.

[Chris Cody]

Why is his arm so heavy?

[Dan Le Batard]

It's weird, right?

[Chris Cody]

It's weird.

[Trista]

It's a prosthetic.

[Brooks Austin]

I think this is just him not wanting to go arm around Coach Pat and he's just like, that might be awkward. He thought it would be awkward to go arm around the coach. So he's like, I'll just let this thing dangle.

[Dan Le Batard]

Are you sure he doesn't want to put his right arm either around? Like, he seems to be hiding.

[Chris Cody]

Clearly.

[Brooks Austin]

His left arm.

[Dan Le Batard]

No, but his. But he's hiding. His right arm. Like it looks like he has only one arm. It looks like he's the guy who would make an argument on behalf of the one legged punter.

[Mike Ryan]

No. This is a classic. I'm a little nervous about the midsection and the way it's going to stick out if I put both arms behind people and that shirt bunches up. This is. I've been here before. This is just insecurity.

[Chris Cody]

I don't want to put. That is a button down shirt. That's exactly right. Could happen.

[Dan Le Batard]

We will get answers tonight.

[Brooks Austin]

I think it could be just trying to feel young. He's doing content this weekend with a lot of young people. With Lucy, with Rose. Like, this is like I got to feel young here.

[Rose]

Yeah. It's a classic Ricky Bobby situation where he didn't know what exactly to do with these guys.

[Dan Le Batard]

They're in Pittsburgh. Metalark is covering the draft tonight. You should be a part of our live stream tonight because we intend to have a lot of fun around. Around all of the ridiculousness. Mike Ryan is now a human being who regularly attends Marlin's matinees. He. They're undefeated when he goes. He tried yesterday. Zaz. That. That. I'm not going to call it a sandwich. It's a quesadilla sort of burrito. Ish. El machete it is. How much, how much does that cost, Mike?

[Greg Cody]

Only $26.

[Chris Cody]

Oh my God.

[Greg Cody]

It's not. It's defeated a family, honestly, with that thing for $26. This is actually in the bargain bin in terms of baseball food because you could legit feed. Feed a family with this.

[Dan Le Batard]

And so what is it? A quesadilla?

[Greg Cody]

It's a quesadilla kind of taco thing. Yeah. Yeah. But with ropa vieja. What?

[Dan Le Batard]

Oh, Trista doesn't know what ropa vieja is.

[Greg Cody]

Yeah, it's like a shredded.

[Dan Le Batard]

Shredded meat.

[Greg Cody]

Shredded beef.

[Trista]

Oh, so it's like birria but without the consomme.

[Greg Cody]

Kind of like a birria. Yeah.

[Dan Le Batard]

My father's favorite food is ropa vieja. And I regret that Tony is not here today to help us with the ingredients and the sauces because I don't think this is a. It's a cheaper meat and it's something that is super, super tasty.

[Greg Cody]

Yeah. Post communism came in cans.

[Dan Le Batard]

Right. It's. Yeah, it's. I'm not gonna say it's spam adjacent, but it's the. I think. I believe it's like viewed as the cheaper of the meats. But when people in Cuba, you know, had trouble getting meat. This was an affordable kind of meat. I think I had that right.

[Greg Cody]

It's not close to Spam. It's actual beef, but the communist version. There's actually, like this banger Cuban restaurant in Louisville. Because Kentucky has a huge Cuban population. I think it's like the second biggest one in the United States outside of South Florida. And their post communism Cuban restaurant, the Ropa Vieja, comes in a can.

[Dan Le Batard]

I did not mean that it is like Spam in terms of contents. I meant in sort of reputation. You think of spam in terms of

[Greg Cody]

coming in a can.

[Dan Le Batard]

You think of cheap meat? Yes, generally speaking. Put it on the poll at Lebatard show. Is the meat always cheap when it comes in a can?

[Trista]

So, okay, when I get a machete in Portland, it's the same shredded beef that comes in the birria tacos, only it's a larger tortilla, and it's flattened and sort of crispy, and the cheese is melted. Is this different?

[Greg Cody]

This is different in that. Don't expect melted cheese.

[Dan Le Batard]

Well, what she said, though, sounds like the same. It sounds like they're serving the same Latin thing, the allegedly same Latin thing in Portland that they are in Miami. But what are they calling it in Portland? Because that sounds like the same thing, Mike. It doesn't sound like it's any different.

[Trista]

Different machete, but the beef is just the same quality beef as the birria.

[Greg Cody]

There's a little salsa verde on it. And like I said, unmelted cheese.

[Trista]

Need the melted cheese.

[Greg Cody]

You do, but they get it out of this big, like, you know, when Vince Woolfork was dancing around the ribs like that kind of meat locker, but the meat locker is set to maybe 84 degrees, and they bring it out. I went there early because I wanted to make sure they didn't run out. And I had, like, four friends with me, and we couldn't even finish it. It was huge and not bad for something without melted cheese.

[Dan Le Batard]

I really don't like what it is that just happened in the middle of that. Cause I don't think you noticed it, but I actively have an executive producer who's secretly taunting me during the show. And while there's a glass here that is soundproof, I could see and read his lips. So that while you were talking and as soon as you said Vince Wilfort, I heard my inner monologue, which then made an appearance on Chris Cody's lips as I'm looking straight ahead, and he's like, I have a new wife now. And that's not helping me. That's not. That's not aiding me to do this show. You are very comfortable talking about how you met your wife, how much you love her, how important she is to you. And that's the reason that I asked the question. I've always admired that about you, that you are. You have no problems whatsoever professing your love. Well, the thing is, I have a new wife now. You know, me and Bianca didn't make it.

[Trista]

What?

[Brooks Austin]

That was our interview with Vince Woolfork.

[Dan Le Batard]

The. Me and my wife didn't make it. I remember it as a plane crash. That's how you would describe it if you were in the afterlife, wandering around, and you were just talking to other dead people and that's how you'd perished in a plane crash.

[Trista]

So on a scale of one to Dr. Fred Johnson, where are we at on that interview?

[Dan Le Batard]

Well, I was just gonna ask you guys the same question because that was a SUI award winner. It's one of the most awkward sounds in the history of our show. At might go on the Mount Rushmore of awkward. It's why Chris did it to me. And again, not helpful. I've got a long day today. It's the draft. I don't really care about the draft generally. I've never cared about the draft. Decided to have a draft expert on yesterday. You saw how that went. Where does that rank in terms of awkward? We can't put that in the will fork class, can we? We can't put what happened yesterday in the will fork class, can we?

[Trista]

I think it's a cut above. I have a new wife now is just a vulnerable admission.

[Brooks Austin]

I have a new wife now. Makes me happy. What a fun mistake that was.

[Rose]

I think the funniest part is me and Bianca didn't make it. Like he put Bianca on it. That's what's hilarious.

[Dan Le Batard]

We didn't make it, though. Like, that's not. That's not divorce. That's not separation. That's people dying at the end of a horrible, tragic thing that we didn't make. It is free. It's unbelievable phrasing there. The Dolphins. This is a day of great hope for the Dolphins, but I'd like to talk about the University of Miami, because if you are on Calci, you should. If there was prediction market stuff that you could do, which you shouldn't be. No, you should not be. Let's use another name for prediction market. If you were doing something that was trying to. Predictions available now. This. This one's not available. Because that's right.

[Greg Cody]

Because we have a partner with integrity.

[Dan Le Batard]

That's right. With licensing, with rules and regulations, so that you can believe in everything. But if you could take a bet tonight on Mike Ryan and whether or not he has emotional investment in the Hurricanes needing to have two top 10 picks, that Mike Ryan is going to be crushed. Not like he was when they lost against Indiana, but is going to be crushed if they don't have two top picks. Two top 10 picks tonight. Would you bet that the Hurricanes are going to have two top ten picks tonight?

[Chris Cody]

Yeah. Yeah, I think they will. I think Bain and Maligo will Both go top 10.

[Greg Cody]

Yeah. Yeah. Malinois had the back thing which has him sliding according to some mocks. And we all know the Ali Conley story that the perception is that Bain might fall over there. But I still think Miami gets to.

[Chris Cody]

And I think they will.

[Greg Cody]

Yeah, that's good for the narrative.

[Dan Le Batard]

Didn't your father, Greg Cody, who will be with us tonight, have Malinoa to the Dolphins? Yes, he does.

[Chris Cody]

A lot of people do.

[Greg Cody]

Malanoa, I want to. Sorry for everybody. Well, there's a G in it. We ran into this with Tua.

[Dan Le Batard]

What is it that your father has him at 11, right. Your father has the Dolphins. So what do you want to happen tonight? Does anyone here have some rooting interests in this?

[Chris Cody]

Dolphins related? I don't really have a rooting interest. Dolphins related, because I don't know how these guys do business. Like, I don't know how, like, we're going to get a sense of what this front office is about tonight, but we really don't know. It also kind of feels like that with the entire draft, like, we know that Mendoza is going one. And then after that, even with someone as high profile as Jeremiah Love, we really don't know what's happening after number one, which actually makes this draft tonight potentially fun locally.

[Greg Cody]

It makes sense because there's a nice little chunk in that Venn diagram of hurricanes. Dolphins fans, a lot of people are hoping, like, there could be there should

[Chris Cody]

be three Hurricanes in the first round.

[Greg Cody]

Yes. Yes. With an outside shot at 4. A lot of Dolphin fans are hoping Ruben Bane falls. Yeah, that seems to be the consensus.

[Chris Cody]

That'll be interesting, though. Like, Ruben Bane were to fall, which I don't think he will. But if Ruben Bane falls to number 11, like, is the Dolphin fan gonna be mad when they don't select him?

[Greg Cody]

An interesting storyline, too, that I saw yesterday on DK Sportsbook was that the team most favored to select Carson Beck was actually the Miami Dolphins at plus three.

[Chris Cody]

Really?

[Greg Cody]

Yeah, that was yesterday.

[Trista]

Well, I was looking at the odds market and it looks like Malinoa's over eight and a half is actually minus money. So some of the Mount drafts actually have Ruby Bane going before him.

[Greg Cody]

Chatter that I was hearing around spring game was Bane to the Saints, Ma Noah to the Chiefs. I know Nick Wright is hoping that the Saints pass up Reuben Bain so he can get it and I don't think Nick Wright's going to be super happy with an offensive lineman.

[Rose]

Yeah, I think where Jordan Love ultimately goes is going to basically determine the rest of the draft. You dig?

[Greg Cody]

So yeah, Jeremiah Love is and he's being tossed around as a smokescreen at number three. Number three is an interesting pick. Ty Simpson is favored to go to Arizona, but not at number three. Everyone's assuming Ty Simpson may fall out of the first round or that Arizona may secure a deal that gets them another pick at the back end of the first round to go Draft Ty

[Trista]

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[Rose]

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[Dan Le Batard]

Done.

[Rose]

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[Brooks Austin]

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[Dan Le Batard]

See moneylion.com Don LeBatard Football Football Footballaaaaaood Ball.

[Greg Cody]

Two guts.

[Dan Le Batard]

This is the Dan Levatar show with the stuff.

Let's entertain what it is that Zaslo is saying there. If the hurt if Ruben Bane falls to the Miami Dolphins, they can't not select him.

[Chris Cody]

I will want them to select Ruben Bane so bad if he's available at number 11. It'll be really disappointing if they don't.

[Dan Le Batard]

But what you just said, you're gonna go look 25 years. Okay. The Dolphins, it can be argued, are as bad as anybody in football. No playoff wins over those 25 years. They've spent a lot of time tell me. And selecting offensive linemen and rarely being able to block anybody. If tonight you're taking an offensive lineman because that's the need you have and Reuben Baines there and that's not the need you have another offensive lineman after 25 years, I don't think you can do it. Like I really don't think you can introduce yourself to the Miami market. I when we had Jeff Halfley on the last south beach session, any Dolphin fan who's been here for 25 years might get a little spooked at the idea that if he had one coach to call for advice anywhere in the universe in any, any kind of crisis, the calls to Dave Wanstadt. Yeah.

[Chris Cody]

Read the room a little bit. Coach.

[Dan Le Batard]

You cannot have such a lack of history and this market that that's how you introduce yourself, that you're going to take an offensive lineman no matter what when for 25 years they've been taking offensive linemen and they can't block anybody like what you just set out for the possibility of happening tonight. I don't believe we will be given that gift from heaven where the Dolphins like that'll be as unpopular as we drafted the Ginn family and it'll go on the Mount Rushmore of unpopular Things to ever happen on draft day. If Reuben Bane falls to the Miami Dolphins and they don't get Reuben Bain,

[Chris Cody]

like, do they factor that in at all? Like, do they say to themselves, all right, you know, there. There's something that happened with Reuben Bain, you know. You know, that just became public. Maybe he winds up dropping a couple spots. If he is available to us at number 11, do we take him like that? That. That gets in the good graces of everybody, of our entire fan base, and he's a really good player. It'd be great value because he's expected to go before number 11. Like, we kind of have to take him, you know, very similar to where. When the Dolphins selected Laramie Tunsil, no one was talking about the Dolphins being able to select probably the best left tackle in the draft, but because he dropped, it's like, we got to do it. And they did.

[Dan Le Batard]

I want to just examine for a moment what I'm asking you guys about draft day hope and the drafting of offensive linemen. This franchise has done a lot of that, zaz, and they can never block anybody. Like, this is a day of great hope for fan bases. But the great hope generally revolves around skilled players, players I've heard of, players who I feel like I can measure myself, how good they are instead of having to read draft reports telling me how good there are they are. I see it on the field. Myself a playmaker, but, I mean, you want to go through the list. They've drafted a lot of offensive linemen that and. And it's probably where they'll go tonight as well. That's how you introduce yourself. The new. The new people in charge. That's how you introduce yourself to Miami.

[Greg Cody]

I understand it's not sexy. Look, I've been there. When I was a Browns fan, they were always picking top five. The year of that, Brady Quinn actually got passed up on initially by the Browns and then later the Dolphins. I was pissed. You know who the Browns picked over Brady Quinn? Joe Thomas. I was furious. Who's this stiff from Wisconsin on a fishing boat? I want Brady Quinn. I saw Brady Quinn. I actually left that draft for a mail house, went to my graduation, couldn't have my phone on me because George W. Bush was speaking at mdc. And then I later found out that the Browns still got Brady Quinn. And then I knew the franchise was saved.

[Mike Ryan]

We love who made it.

[Chris Cody]

I mean, do they have to pick an offense? Like, the Dolphins have three offensive linemen that are pretty good. Do they have to take an offensive

[Dan Le Batard]

lineman in the First, Chris, what happened? You're so busy there looking for will fork sound to embarrass me that you just fired off a who maketh the salad for no reason. Why'd you do that? Any particular reason? Okay, very good. Excellent work. Tonight at 7:30 we go live. Live draft coverage. You can expect some of that as Chris Cody steers our plane into. We're not going to make it. We didn't make it.

[Greg Cody]

And we actually have expertise on this. Brooks Austin, a film guy, a guy that knows these prospects inside and out will be there whenever we actually need to get serious.

[Rose]

And you guys bury in the lead tonight. Tonight is the battle for zagactos. Greg Cody vs Mel Carpet Kuiper Jr no sense, no mercy.

[Dan Le Batard]

Okay, that'll be big tonight as we we will have Greg Cody here. It's a very serious night for him and he will be working and he's already told me he wants to be left alone, which doesn't really work for what it is that we're doing tonight. We kind of need his help.

[Trista]

How do you factor in the time management that it takes to make a list like he does with the catchphrases and also go so in depth on these mock drafts?

[Dan Le Batard]

He works very hard. I keep asking him, when are you going to retire? Like, are you thinking about that? And he's. The Miami Herald will go down before he does. He just wants to keep picking, wants to keep consulting an imaginary bird to help him with his selection.

[Trista]

Oh yeah, what about the parrot again?

[Dan Le Batard]

What was that?

No, that's a different thing though. The parrot that he goes very good out of the side of his mouth with has nothing to do with the upset bird, which he consults and has consulted for 30 years on his pics. Every week two different birds. Get your shit together, Trista.

[Chris Cody]

I've mentioned before that the upset bird, you know, Sunday morning Miami Heralds. The upset bird when I was a kid was my absolute favorite.

[Greg Cody]

Wasn't it Friday? I would always look, oh, you know,

[Chris Cody]

maybe it was Friday.

[Greg Cody]

You would see his dog of the week, his game of the week.

[Chris Cody]

Absolutely. Favorite thing.

[Greg Cody]

Same, same.

[Chris Cody]

I loved it.

[Dan Le Batard]

So you know what?

[Greg Cody]

I would flip the paper over and here's this athlete apologist.

[Dan Le Batard]

He just gave me a treasure. Help me do this tonight, okay? Help me give away. Greg Cody just gave me a treasure fished out of his garage. I believe it's my brother's original work, was the upset bird bumper sticker that he did for Greg Cody and he gave me like 40 of them the other day. We should give some of those away tonight. Not too many of them, but like, just some of them as part of what it is that we're doing. Because the upset bird is a. It's a local icon.

[Greg Cody]

It would talk as a bird in print.

[Chris Cody]

Yep. It would give its opinion on the. On the upset of the week. The upset bird would tell you.

[Brooks Austin]

Why wouldn't it start with like a written.

[Chris Cody]

Yes.

[Greg Cody]

Yeah. And then it would. It wouldn't even be like. It would really force the ox.

[Rose]

No.

[Greg Cody]

Yeah, it would force the ox. It would be like Jeff Ox.

[Chris Cody]

Yep.

[Dan Le Batard]

There would be aux at the beginning and at the end to signify that it was a bird. But it was a bird that talked and he consulted it on his pit. That is correct. Triste. Yes.

[Trista]

Nurse, stay off the weed.

[Dan Le Batard]

I believe he really enjoyed spelling the name Carl Macklinberg. Mocklenberg would have been better. You guys think it was always an awk. It was. There were different.

[Greg Cody]

It was crudely forced in.

[Dan Le Batard]

It was.

[Greg Cody]

Which made it funny.

[Dan Le Batard]

It was W's and K's. That's correct. Something else that's funny. I wanted to ask you guys this. Carson Beck, when he identifies publicly with a school, which school is it?

[Greg Cody]

Like, I have a pretty good idea of what he will identify with. I think the interesting question is what other people do. He didn't have the greatest breakup with Georgia, and he went to the national championship game. Granted, he did win national championships as a backup with Georgia, but he played in the national championship game with Miami. So I think if he ever has a Sunday Night Football treatment, Dan, he probably introduced himself as a Miami Hurricane.

[Dan Le Batard]

Well, that's. But that's. What. And. And so Dylan Gabriel, what does he introduce himself as?

[Greg Cody]

That's tough. So if you check the Browns website, he's listed under Oregon. I do think that this is player preference. Now, usually they just end up going with a school that they most recently played with because that's the one that they had their best memories with. But that's a. That Dylan Gabriel's a spicy one. Trissa, you're an Oregon Ducks fan. Do you consider him an Oregon Duck?

[Trista]

I do, but I don't claim him. So that's what I wanted to know when we were chatting about. This is like, do you claim Carson Beck? Like, is he one of the great Hurricanes? Biggest game in 20 years. Like, he. He gave you that over and over and over again. So is he a cane?

[Greg Cody]

It's weird. I don't claim him as much as I claim Cam Ward because he played

[Chris Cody]

for Georgia for five seasons he had.

[Greg Cody]

He won SEC championships with Georgia. When I think of him, I still think of him in that red Georgia jersey. But also Carson Beck with his legs. Why do you think most iconic moment.

[Chris Cody]

Why do you claim. Is it because he went number one overall? Is that why you claim Ward before Beck also?

[Greg Cody]

I mean, I was a big college football head. I was well familiar with Cam Ward, but I think most people were introduced because he played out on the west coast with Wazoo, that you couldn't really find their games all that much. Like, I think most people were introduced to Cam Ward playing football as a Miami Hurricane. And, yeah, he went number one.

[Trista]

I claim Cam Ward and Jaden Daniels for the Pac 12.

[Dan Le Batard]

Am I a fool in being ignorant about not knowing the history of how Washington State becomes Wazoo? Am I. Am I the one who does it? I'm like, I'm asking you guys, because he said that rather casually. And I just. Now I've heard it referred to as Wazoo. I just don't know why it would. Because why it would be.

[Greg Cody]

I think it's wsu. Washington State University.

[Dan Le Batard]

So they're spelling it the way Greg Cody's bird talks a little bit. Okay,

[Rose]

what do we consider? Jalen Hurts. Is he a Sooner or is he Crimson Tide?

[Greg Cody]

That one's. That one's difficult because his last act for Alabama was getting benched in the national championship game, and he kind of rebuilt himself at Oklahoma. What does the. What does the Eagles website say?

[Mike Ryan]

The uniforms are the same color, though, so I just picture just a. Like, the same exact thing, no matter what.

[Greg Cody]

Right. Burgundy. Do we go by the website or do we go by what they say on Sunday Night Football when they introduce Question.

[Chris Cody]

Because, like, I click on Jalen hurts profile on ESPN.com college Oklahoma.

[Greg Cody]

That's interesting.

[Mike Ryan]

It's always going to be wherever their last stop was.

[Greg Cody]

That's what.

[Mike Ryan]

That's what is going to happen on a website. It might not be where they introduce themselves from, like, Willie Gabriel, ucf.

[Greg Cody]

Yeah. And that's harder to answer without them here. I know what Russell Wilson used to do.

[Chris Cody]

That's what I'm looking up right now. Russell Wilson. Russell Wilson on ESPN College. Wisconsin.

[Brooks Austin]

That's the last place he was.

[Greg Cody]

That's not. Well, when he introduces himself on Sunday Night Football, it's Wisconsin Wolf Pack or something corny like that.

[Trista]

Well, with Dante Moore, because of how things went in Dante Moore's college career where he wasn't getting burned, and then now he's, you know, a top five pick and Stays at Oregon. I think he solidified himself as an organ duck.

[Rose]

Also, Dion Dawkins, he went to you already. Snow University on Sunday Night Live. So I'm not sure what we do with that.

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[Greg Cody]

Sports fans, all the sports are coming together. It's a great time to just sit on your couch, text your friend, hey, come over. Let's watch the games. And when I do that to my friends, guess what? They text me back, I got the Miller Lights. That's right. They pick up Miller Lite pretty much anywhere they sell beer. And they come over to my place, we take that first sip and we realize, man, we just made a regular old fashioned night into a special night. Thank you, Miller Lite. And shortly thereafter, we got multiple screens on. Everybody's dialed into something different. And the whole night just keeps building and building and building. That that's why I reached for Miller Lite. It can take an ordinary night and take it to an extraordinary place. It's clean, refreshing, easy to drink, brewed for taste, with simple ingredients, just 96 calories and 3.2 carbs. The original light beer since 1975 and still hitting different cheers to legendary moments with Miller Lite. Great taste. 96 calories. Go to millerlight.com dan to find delivery options near you. Or you can pick up some Miller Lite pretty much anywhere they sell beer. It's Miller time. Celebrate responsibly. Miller Brewing Co. Milwaukee, Wisconsin. 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces. Hey, Roy, buddy. Yo. You know that energy shift when the game gets good and everybody all together in unison knows to stand up on their feet? Oh, absolutely, Mike. Yeah. You've been at many big time sporting events. You know that moment quite well. That's what it's like when you take your first sip of Cuervo. Oh, delicious. It's the signal that says, we're not checking the time anymore, pal. It's when small talk turns into stories. Cuervo, man. It's that high five. A random stranger effect. That's right. The game is popping. You're hugging people you never met before. That's the kind of energy that Cuervo brings. It's so smooth, so delicious. That's the Cuervo effect. Keep it Cuervo.

[Dan Le Batard]

Don Libertard.

[Rose]

I ain't never met nobody in the world that's done. Hate on Blues.

[Dan Le Batard]

Great nomination.

[Rose]

Like who don't like blues? Clothes Clues, bruh. If you don't like Blues Clues, you're a loser.

[Greg Cody]

Stugats.

[Rose]

Look, you get one paw print. That's the first clue. You put it in a notebook. Now what do you do? Blues Clues. Blues Clues.

[Brooks Austin]

Sit on the chair and think about it.

[Dan Le Batard]

This is the Dan Levitar show with these two gods.

So you guys are doing two different things and I'm doing two different things. How does a player introduce himself? Because there is a Key and Peele sketch in here somewhere of the next player who's going to have seven schools that he introduces himself with. But where Carson Beck identifies or how he identifies as a player and where other people look at him and say, I consider him this. Those being two different things is interesting, right? Because I. I don't know. The audience at large, I would think, associates Carson Beck with. I've watched him for five years in important games around. Important games are, you know, he didn't play in some of them, but still, he played in a lot of big games in a Georgia uniform. More. More, I dare say, than he did in a Miami uniform. So it's one year. It's. Does. Does Miami get to claim him as our guy? If he spent five years somewhere else and he had one year here?

[Trista]

What if he becomes a Dolphin? I Think then you can automatically claim him as a cane.

[Dan Le Batard]

Can you? What does that have to do with anything?

[Greg Cody]

It does help. It does help Regional. Yeah.

[Dan Le Batard]

So he's just stayed in the market playing football, and therefore I'm going to grandfather him in.

[Trista]

Not a falcon.

[Dan Le Batard]

The way that things change. Do you remember, Zas, the report? The way. How quickly things change around here and how they stay the same. So Jeff Haffley says that the one call that he makes in a crisis is to Dave Wanstead. Dave Wanstadt. Like we. We called him Won Stache. We made fun of the beginning of the end that started with Won Stache. We had chicken fingers at a restaurant wanting McStaches that were mustache. Fried mustaches. Vanilla offense with no nuts was the dessert. Punta tizers.

[Brooks Austin]

That's why we can't book them.

[Dan Le Batard]

Yeah, Wandstache was that we made some fun of. But I don't think that anyone here remembers that. When Wandstache was in good graces with the Miami Dolphins, it was reported that the University of Miami offered him a 20 year contract. Do you guys remember this?

[Greg Cody]

No, I do.

[Dan Le Batard]

It was crazy. The University of Miami was thinking about trying to steal Dave Wandstach from the Miami Dolphins.

[Chris Cody]

We're talking like around 2000 when.

[Dan Le Batard]

When things were better for when it was all 11 and fives and 10 and sixes before it got to that last, you know, 4 and 12 or whatever happened at the end there. And that was the beginning of the end of Dan Marino, Jimmy Johnson, that. Relevant. Relevant winning franchise. Important. Now it becomes a regional franchise.

[Chris Cody]

So it's a takeover after Coker.

[Dan Le Batard]

But yeah, it's not just a takeover, though. It was stealing the head coach of the Dolphins to signal that the University of Miami intended to be good for 20 years by signing Dave Watts. Dash, you got to look up for me, please, what that amount of money associated with that contract was, because I have it right. It was some. It was a real thing.

[Greg Cody]

Yeah, it was a real thing.

[Chris Cody]

And he ended up going to Pitt.

[Greg Cody]

He did. He ended up going to the college game after he parted ways with the Dolphins. Did I ever tell you about the most recent conversation I had with Dave Wanstadt? It was this decade and our show made a lot of fun of Dave Wanstadt. As Dan mentioned, we did want him to, but when I was doing the musical, I wanted him initially to be a part of the musical, and then afterwards I wanted him to promote the musical. And so I had an.

[Chris Cody]

How would he promote it?

[Greg Cody]

He would. I was like, can I film a video? It'd Be great. We have this number one musical that we did. It's a love letter to football. And I had to explain to him that the Dan LeBatard show, which openly beefed with him, would like. And use him as a punchline. Would like to use him. Because that would be really funny for our legacy fans as well. If you did a testimonials to how great this musical about the super bowl was. And he was on a golf course, and he was very nice. And I do think he kind of forgave us for what we did.

[Chris Cody]

He's a nice guy.

[Greg Cody]

He is. And it's like, I'm sorry we leaned a little too hard on the mustache, but it was all in good fun.

[Dan Le Batard]

You apologized to him during the little bit.

[Greg Cody]

Yeah. I had to feel it out.

[Dan Le Batard]

We leaned. And part of your apology was we leaned too hard on the mustache.

[Chris Cody]

He's trying to get some. And done right.

[Brooks Austin]

Well, did we not.

[Greg Cody]

The rumor was that the mustache was there for a reason. That was a rumor because, I mean, he was doing the mustache well after it had fallen out of favor.

[Trista]

The tickler.

[Greg Cody]

Anyways, he passed on our show.

[Dan Le Batard]

He's still with us.

[Greg Cody]

Yeah. In football, he ran famously. Very rarely passed.

[Dan Le Batard]

Punted.

[Greg Cody]

Yeah. Punt, run. LaShawn McCoy, 45 carries.

[Dan Le Batard]

So how are you using past? Because. Didn't make it. Like you both.

[Greg Cody]

It was. I. I probably could have done that conversation a little bit better.

[Dan Le Batard]

No, no, I disagree. Well, this particular conversation, you couldn't have done better because. Because there aren't as many words in the English language or any as funny as past being in the middle of that sentence. Given everything that we've discussed, that includes the fiery death of Vince Woolfork's marriage. Dave Wanstadt, I want you to just consider that for a moment as they look up the numbers on what that contract is. And Kaylan DeBoer just signed in Alabama, and when he signed, and I read this, that I'm reading seven years, $87 million. I'm like, why?

[Greg Cody]

It's a great question you have to take.

[Dan Le Batard]

But wasn't that. Wasn't that. But wasn't that everybody. Wasn't that everybody's reaction on. Well, that's about as bad an Alabama team as I have seen in a while.

[Chris Cody]

They want a playoff game this year.

[Dan Le Batard]

That's about as bad an Alabama team as I have seen in a while. And. And I thought they didn't have much faith in DeBoer, except that every once in a while he convinces Georgia. And that's where we are with The. Or he beats Georgia. That's where we are with the Alabama, Alabama program that you've gone from you need to beat everybody to all you got to do is be Georgia.

[Chris Cody]

Well, wouldn't, wouldn't we be using comment? Not.

[Dan Le Batard]

Not.

[Chris Cody]

You know, you just need to beat Georgia. You know, it's. But aren't we using common sense then where. Yeah, that's. That's not how this game is anymore. You're not going to beat everyone every year. That game is long gone.

[Greg Cody]

You get an extension when someone else is interested in your services.

[Chris Cody]

That's the weird part.

[Greg Cody]

When your agent effectively curates a marketplace for you. And there was a lot of that talk to some of us, inexplicably so, because we were doing the direct comparison to Saban's Alabama to Kaylin Deborah's Alabama.

[Chris Cody]

But it's the end of April, right?

[Greg Cody]

I. It's weird.

[Chris Cody]

Weird.

[Greg Cody]

The timing, like you can understand, like they would announce the extension and then the other schools interested in his services would. Would find their other candidates. So this took some dialogue. But he's. He got an extension because of other schools being interested in him.

[Dan Le Batard]

Why?

[Greg Cody]

You're asking the right questions, dude.

[Brooks Austin]

It is weird, right?

[Chris Cody]

Like the initial deal he wants to sign with Alabama had to have been at least five years, which would tell you he has at least three more years.

[Greg Cody]

He ended up losing to Indiana. He did go on the road to beat Oklahoma in a college football playoff game. And we're not too far removed from him taking Washington to the national championship game.

[Dan Le Batard]

I'm just simply saying college football fans, serious or casual? Has Calen DeBoer done a good job, yes or no? I don't believe anyone's answering that question. Yes, vigorously. Yes, for sure. That's. Who gets eight seven year extensions like that? You don't give. You don't give seven year extensions to. Maybe you don't give seven year extensions to. You've shown me a little bit. If I say to everybody who watches college football, the job Kaylin DeBoer has done so far, now that might not be fair because what we expect from that uniform is it's not a regional team, it's a national team, what would they be on the open market? Alabama football. What's Alabama football worth if I make this the big business, all of this that it is, right. This is the top of the mountain in college football, which is the highest of the minor league professional sports. It's the second biggest sport in this country. If I put the Alabama football team on the market, to all the billionaires and said, you want a toy, you want something that feels like a professional football team, you want to play over here. You don't. You don't have the five or six billion dollars to get into the NFL club because they won't welcome you in. Do you have 5 or 6 billion for a college team? What's Alabama worth?

[Trista]

7.

[Dan Le Batard]

$7 billion. $7 billion. Alabama football is worth twice as much as the Padres. Is worth almost twice as much as the Broncos.

[Greg Cody]

I think if you were to put it in an open market, the state of Alabama may pay $10 billion for it because it's literally their economy.

[Dan Le Batard]

So as we see what is an overt and obvious capitalism and commercialization. This is giant sport now, right? Wnba, a business that has a streaming product. Everybody wants to get into the television business with its programming. NFL is reworking all of its deals. Alabama is its own genre. It's the Shark movie. It's the only thing you can come close with Ohio State, I suppose. But what Saban built there, the professionalization of it makes it in reputation a place that has no business having this, by the way, like just a city that has no business. I'm not has the tradition for it, but it doesn't really make sense that all of the players would go to that city except for that. This is what it's been the birthplace of college football for 50 years.

[Greg Cody]

The real Notre Dame paying the players too.

[Dan Le Batard]

But the real Notre Dame, right, Like Notre Dame did it one way. And then over time the Alabama program has such a prestige because who are the three college coaches for all time? The three college coaches for all time. Two of them are there. It's Bear Bryant and Nick Saban. And you take all the rest of college football and two of them are there. And so that that program is worth more than the worst of the NFL teams, is it not? If I just said to you, somehow we are going to combine Ryan Day's thoughts that college football should also have a draft and NFL is going to actually make this its professional minor league. Because we're going to merge the biggest powers in sports, pro football and college football, in that setting, when everyone's throwing around television dollars, what's that program worth? Why are you giving this man this money to run that program when that's the worth at this time?

[Greg Cody]

It's tough too because you have like guaranteed labor costs are going to be way lower than in the NFL. And also it's a publicly funded university and I don't know exactly how that works. With a private enterprise, it probably goes away. Be curious to see where all this goes.

[Dan Le Batard]

I'll just read to you the recent history. Missed the playoffs in 2024, lost to Michigan in the ReliaQuest bowl at full strength. Upset by both unranked Vanderbilt and Oklahoma in 2024. Upset by 2 and 10 Florida State last year 2 and 10. And you said he won a playoff game and lost 383 in the last one that he played. And it has to be shocking. Bear Bryant is rolling around in his grave at the idea of wait a minute, Indiana's that much better than us. How, in what world?

[Greg Cody]

He ain't the only one.

[Dan Le Batard]

How? How in what world is Indiana football this much better than Alabama football? You just gave that guy an extension.

[Greg Cody]

Well tune into the draft tonight and see who goes number one.

[Mike Ryan]

A guy who Indiana can claim, by the way, even though it was just one year.

[Greg Cody]

Also, the Internet had Dan, I don't think this is Mandela effect. Right? But like there's no Internet proof that Miami actually offered Dave Wansat a 20 year contract. I have canvassed the Internet.

[Chris Cody]

Tell them whoppers.

[Greg Cody]

I have. No, I remember this. This was a thing, but I don't know if it showed up in like a Barry Jackson opinion thing.

[Dan Le Batard]

No, it was a Miami Herald. It was absolutely a Miami Herald. I remember the headline. It was that shocking?

[Greg Cody]

Yes. I remember picking up the newspaper and pointing to it.

[Dan Le Batard]

Jeremy, I am worried about the ability to get anything from newspapers that existed in 1990 in the modern age.

[Mike Ryan]

I'm worried about getting anything newspapers now.

[Greg Cody]

Tell me about it. Sports fans. All the sports are coming together. It's a great time to just sit on your couch, text your friend, hey, come over, let's watch the games. And when I do that to my friends, guess what? They text me back, I got the Miller Lights. That's right. They pick up Miller Lite pretty much anywhere they sell beer and they come over to my place, we take that first sip and we realize, man, we just made a regular old fashioned night night into a special night. Thank you Miller Light. And shortly thereafter we got multiple screens on. Everybody's dialed into something different and the whole night just keeps building and building and building. That's why I reached for Miller Lite. It can take an ordinary night and take it to an extraordinary place. It's clean, refreshing, easy to drink, brewed for taste, with simple ingredients, just 96 calories and 3.2 carbs. The original light beer since 1975 and still hitting different cheers to legendary moments with Miller Light Great Taste. 96 calories. Go to Millerlight. Com Dan to find delivery options near you. Or you can pick up some Miller Light pretty much anywhere they sell beer. It's Miller time. Celebrate responsibly. Miller Brewing Co. Milwaukee, Wisconsin 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces.