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Dan Le Batard
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Billy Gill
When did making plans get this complicated? It's time to streamline with WhatsApp, the.
Greg Cody
Secure messaging app that brings the whole group together. Use polls to settle dinner plans, send.
Billy Gill
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Greg Cody
Learn more@WhatsApp.com this episode is brought to.
Billy Gill
You by State Farm.
Dan Le Batard
Checking off the boxes on your to.
Greg Cody
Do list is a great feeling.
Mike Ryan
And when it comes to checking off.
Dan Le Batard
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Dan Le Batard
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Mike Ryan
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Billy Gill
I'm worried, Zaslo and Cody, that we've got too many people here today and too much show. And we've already started with Sparks because. Zazlo, could you tell what Greg was mad about, why he stormed from the room?
Zaslow
It's fairly obvious he's upset that and I'm not trying to talk as if you're not in front of me. All right. But Greg was clearly upset that his topics were on the billboard for the show. There's a lot to get to today. Greg specifically is upset that none of his topics are on the billboard.
Greg Cody
Well, I'm not throwing anybody under the bus, but I do spend 15 or 20 minutes the morning, the very, very early morning before coming in here to write out my topics and I send them. Now, in fairness, I didn't know Roy was going to be in that seat. I did not send them to Roy. So part of that is on me. But they need to be distributed and represented accordingly.
Billy Gill
I saw his rage that he wasn't properly represented in the meeting when with a sports weekend like that you don't need anyone to come in with any topics. It's fine. We can talk about anything that happened this weekend. That's true for four straight hours.
Chris Cody
I'm not going to let Dan do this today. This is a big Monday. Dad, I'm sorry. I did not put your topics on. That is 1,000% on me. You work very hard on those topics.
Greg Cody
Wow.
Chris Cody
And I should have had them up there as soon as you were in here.
Greg Cody
Wow.
Chris Cody
Who are you on? Me. And we're going to have a great show today. I love you so much. I love working with you, love spending time with you. You're a great person.
Greg Cody
Wow. Who is that person?
Billy Gill
That's an accountable Chris Cody rising up the executive ranks at Metalark by taking accountability for places where he has been a bad leader or a bad organizer.
Mike Ryan
Dan, he said that so you can move the show along and get to football, not so you can stay there so you can get to the football.
Billy Gill
The show hasn't started yet.
Mike Ryan
The shit stirring as the heat got.
Chris Cody
Zero votes to make the point. God, I'm just this over this guy's topics.
Greg Cody
Wait a minute. You were just nice to me.
Chris Cody
It just can't with you.
Zaslow
It's a lot of good topics on the board though. Greg, you would admit, right?
Billy Gill
Greg, you could, you would admit that. Look, I'm. I've never seen that Dolphins game before that. That in my lifetime. I've been watching this team for 50 years. I've never experienced that game. I've seen him lose 62 to 7. That's. But what happened yesterday puts the Dolphins like so, so far behind the best things happening in that sport that I could do four hours on the Dolphins or I could ignore them all show.
Zaslow
Today if you did a 1 through 32 listed. Dolphins are 32.
Billy Gill
Right. I mean everybody played close games yesterday except the Giants, the, the Jags. That game, all the, all the games were close.
Dan Le Batard
They're only a game back in the AFC East.
Billy Gill
They're two point favorites. They're favorites this weekend.
Dan Le Batard
I mean if it wasn't for a miraculous comeback, they would have been first in the FCS this morning. So you know, things are looking up.
Billy Gill
They, they are, they are two point, they are two point favorites against the Patriots this weekend.
Greg Cody
And what does that tell you? That's worth exploring.
Chris Cody
The whole league. Does that tell you the whole league.
Billy Gill
The whole league is the greatest thing we've ever seen. Because I certainly went into that final game last night saying, okay, well clear the story tomorrow is going to be the four time mvp, Jets, Steelers. The lowest total in the sport goes way over, is the highest scoring game because holy shit, wait a minute. Do the jets and Steelers have offense? Because we know they both have defense. So that was pretty good offense happening to pretty good defenses. Oh no, that's not the biggest story. The biggest story is going to happen is the punctuation to the evening when the Ravens, the most flawed, great team I've ever seen. That happens to them more often than it happens to anybody.
Zaslow
I love when that happens.
Billy Gill
You have to love it. It happened to them three times. More like no other team in the sport has had it happen even three times as much as it's happened to Harbaugh. Eight times a 15 point lead in the fourth quarter.
Zaslow
I love watching them lose like that.
Greg Cody
And talk about two great offenses overcoming two pretty solid defenses. That's another example of that. Even more so for me than Pittsburgh.
Billy Gill
All right, we're going to, we're going to have to start with the Dolphins, though. Go ahead, start the show.
Dan Le Batard
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Billy Gill
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Mike Ryan
Bank ranking and number of ATMs.
Billy Gill
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Mike Ryan
Hey, listeners, it's Mike. Hey, Billy Gill.
Dan Le Batard
Hey.
Mike Ryan
Hey, Billy. As a proud member of your inner circle, remember when we were hanging out last weekend?
Dan Le Batard
Yeah. Fishtail Palms.
Mike Ryan
Fishtail Palms. Great memories. We made K in the pool and in our hands, a nice ice cold pan of Miller Light. It was so hot out.
Dan Le Batard
I know, but it was so cold in my hand.
Mike Ryan
We took that first sip. It was crisp. It was refreshing. Oh, man. There is nothing like cracking open a Miller Light with your crew and your inner circle bones.
Dan Le Batard
Hell yeah, we fist bumped.
Mike Ryan
Whether it's we we actually really did. Whether it's that touchdown didn't make a.
Dan Le Batard
Sound, but it just bam, boom.
Mike Ryan
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Greg Cody
What?
Mike Ryan
It's just 96 calories.
Dan Le Batard
What?
Mike Ryan
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Billy Gill
Football. Football.
Greg Cody
Is backtracked. Oh, my. We've waited for so long we're so damn excited that we put it in a song no need, no check downs give me big hits and quarterbacks keep your fantasy team from falling off the track Football is backjacked Whether on the ground or through the air when the chips are down and you throw a.
Dan Le Batard
Prayer.
Greg Cody
When your team is priming on the hunt it's four contenders the shoulder pads and helmets crack that's how you know that football is backjack Let me hear you say football is backjack this high is wild and out of control and we're going to ride it every week till we reach the Super Bowl. No need, no check downs give me big hits and quarterbacks if you say this game's the best. I'll say the gag. Football is back, Jack. Football is back, Jack. Football is back. Football is bad, Jack.
Billy Gill
I really, I really did think that I was gonna start the show today with Jet Steelers four time MVP Aaron Rodgers. What was that sound? What happened?
Chris Cody
It's the Dolphins. They do it to me. Sorry, that was me.
Dan Le Batard
Yeah.
Mike Ryan
No, there was a. Yeah, there. Is that the end of the song? Is there like.
Chris Cody
I don't know what that was. I was trying to just cover it up.
Billy Gill
I thought there was a child somewhere in the studio.
Mike Ryan
Sounded like Rose.
Billy Gill
Okay, well, Depeche Mode.
Mike Ryan
Enjoy the silence. Fake out.
Billy Gill
I thought I was gonna start the show today. Four time MVP Aaron Rodgers. 60 yard field goal. Jalen Ramsey. At the end of that game, I didn't think anyone would feel worse today than Garrett Wilson. I thought that's the person in the sport who was going to feel the worst. Oh my God, I dropped the ball. I don't know how the kicker from the Browns spells his name. How do we spell that last name for the Browns kicker?
Mike Ryan
Missed it.
Billy Gill
I think that guy was going to feel really bad today. And then Jalen Ramsey does that to Garrett Wilson. And I thought that was the best game of the day. And then the night game happens and what happens in the night game? And I gave the stat poorly before. So this has happened to the Ravens. They have lost eight times since 2021. When in the game, at the end of the game, they've got a win probability of over 90% like they do last night in the fourth quarter where they're up 15. And Derrick Henry doesn't fumble like that. Derrick Henry is averaging 10 yards of carry. There's no way the Ravens can lose that game. They kick the Bill's ass up and down the field.
Zaslow
When he fumbled there, I lit. The first thought that came to my M.O. was I don't think I've ever seen Derrick Henry fumble.
Billy Gill
It happens very infrequently. It happened once last year and it. And I reacted as if Chewbacca had run across the field like, you know, a space alien had appeared. Because Derrick Henry doesn't fumble. He was averaging 10 yards of carry in that game. 10 yards of carry. Everybody knows he's going to get the. How is that person still doing that?
Zaslow
How good?
Billy Gill
How is he still? He ran through the SEC like that and I'm like, well, that's going to carve up his body. How is that person still Earl Campbell and Ricky Williams and faster than everyone else at a size that's not normal. How is that body not breaking down?
Zaslow
I did a lot of thinking to myself last night during that game, you'll notice. And I also thought Derrick Henry might be the best running back ever. And I don't know that that's a crazy thing to say because when is he actually going to slow down? Because if he keeps doing this for.
Billy Gill
Years and years, like it's just, it's just lunacy, okay? At that sport, disposable position, even he got. The Ravens got him cheap because it's a disposable position. Marian Barber, if you run like that, your career will be over in three years. If you are Sean Alexander and you run like that, you can't keep running like that. You cannot keep being more physical than all the young people in that sport.
Mike Ryan
Yeah, at that size too, it's carrying your own weight. Like Merion Barber was a very violent runner, but carrying your own weight, falling down when you're that big at that position, that also takes a toll. He's just unprecedented in that way. I understand why you want to talk about Derrick Henry, but from that it was pretty obvious to the eye how overwhelming Baltimore has that offense. They are so talented. You just have DeAndre Hopkins as a, as a ball winning role player on that team and you just look at Buffalo and you're like, there is quite a gulf in offensive talent between these teams, but they have that quarterback and he was unbelievable. And really where the game might have been won, I know there's a 15 point comeback that everybody wants to talk about their execution at the end of the first half. When you look at that game in totality, those are just incredible winning plays by Josh Allen, who might be the second greatest quarterback of all time. Just unlucky enough to be playing in the same generation as Patrick Mahomes.
Billy Gill
All right, I'm going to slow everything down here because when you say unlucky enough to play same generation of Patrick Mahomes, Patrick Mahomes empirically yards per attempt since he lost Tyree Kill, only Daniel Jones throws the ball less downfield than Patrick Mahomes every time he drops back. So whatever you're remembering about what Patrick Mahomes was with Tyree Kill since then, he does not throw the ball down the field. And you've seen what's happened to the Chiefs since then. Everyone's caught up to them. Like they're not going to win all those one score games anymore because they can't get the ball downfield. But in the breaking up of the Chiefs, when Tyree Kill was Saying we can win seven, eight championships, him going deep all the time. And then he comes to Miami, and Miami takes the two years that are left of his prime run through his body. And now what I saw yesterday was. And I'm. I'm not being prisoner of the moment with this, even as Zaz says, Derrick Hendrick, best running back ever. And Mike's here, Josh Allen, best quarterback ever. I'm saying, that Dolphin game. I've been watching Dolphin football for 50 years.
Zaslow
It's a horror movie.
Billy Gill
I've never seen that game before where it's not your dad complaining. They can't stop anybody.
Zaslow
No snuff film.
Billy Gill
They could not stop Daniel Jones and the Colts empirically, as the Colts looked like the best offensive football team there's ever been statistically, that touches the ball seven times, scores seven times, because the Dolphins can't stop anybody. And then two is terrible as well. And Zaslo comes in here today, comes in here today, guys on fire, and wants to blow the whole thing up.
Zaslow
That's right.
Chris Cody
I'm glad to.
Zaslow
Yeah, I'm glad you said that. We're starting the show today with truth bombs. That's a good place to start on a Monday.
Billy Gill
Yeah.
Zaslow
I'm firing Mike McDaniel. And I'm not someone who fires the coach. I'm not someone who takes a lazy approach and blames the coach. Oh, this happens on the coach. No, no, I've seen enough. At this point. When you. When you look at the Dolphins, is there any part of you? And we can take all of us here and now. We had eight months, eight months to wait and look forward to yesterday. And all of the talk, all the conversation around Mike McDaniel, all the criticism, all the noise, all the culture talk, and that's the very first game that right there. There is no way that anyone can look at Mike McDaniel and say, that is a coach who could take you to a Super Bowl. You cannot make that case. And if that's the case, what are we waiting for? I get rid of them today. You can't have all off season, and that's what you put out there. I get rid of them today.
Billy Gill
Zaslow also says it's over for tua.
Zaslow
It is over for two. And the reason that I say that is because I think that we're going to look back and we're all going to remember that game yesterday. As we can now, like, to a super polarizing. I've been in on tua. You're either in, you're out. Like Very polarizing. I think we're all going to look back one day and we're all going to remember we were all on the same page after that Colts game. When it comes to Tua, there's. There was something wrong with him yesterday. I don't know if it's because of the injuries that he's had in the past or whatever it is, but that was a really bad quarterback.
Billy Gill
That's, that's. So that's the worst game I've seen him play. And it's not only the worst game I've seen him play, there are some others. That Dolphin game felt like all the games when two was out and they have to go to the backup quarterback and you know they're not going to get any offense. Let's examine this for a second because I'm not being prisoner of the moment when I say that Dolphin game has never been played. It's not something any of us have ever seen. Greg Cody's been covering the team forever. You've never seen that game. Let me give you some of the stats, okay? Because they were the only team beaten like that yesterday, the only one in the entire sport. And it was Daniel Jones, unstoppable. Daniel Jones, you can tell me all you want about he's going to be improved in that offense and everything else. There was no pass rush, there was no coverage. They could not stop a team that was unstoppable for seven drives.
Dan Le Batard
We also are not mentioning and haven't taken into account that they were playing for Jim Mercy.
Mike Ryan
That's true.
Dan Le Batard
So there was a lot of emotions running high yesterday as well, Dan.
Billy Gill
So some stats for you. Thank you, Billy. The Colts were winless in their last 11 home openers. The 43 yards the Dolphins had in the first half is the fewest since 1991. Okay? These, the Colts hadn't scored okay on the possessions that way. Going down, the 15 play drives, they had three 15 play drives. They had five. All of last year. All of last year the Colts had five. You tell me if you guys have ever seen that Dolphin game ever played before where you can simply not stop someone and you know you've got no chance of coming back. You're down 30, nothing. No. Every. Every game in that sport is close and you. And you're down 30 to nothing and no chance of coming back.
Zaslow
And it's a team that, like I know Greg was saying in the week leading up to yesterday, how, you know, Dolphins, you look at the schedule, that's a game you gotta win. Okay? The Colts. I'm not gonna say the Colts are bad. Colts were an average team last year, and you have to take that into account where they lost that way to an average team last year who by all accounts was being quarterbacked by a bad quarterback. That's why I think we've never seen what we saw yesterday.
Greg Cody
Yeah. I was in Jacksonville when they lost 62. 7 in Dan Marino's last game. So I'm not going to call it the worst Dolphins performance ever. I am going to say, and I wrote in my column, I was as vicious as I can possibly be about that performance. It was inexcusable. It was sub putrid. Every worst fear of a Dolphin fan was not only came true, but was magnified. I'm not going to equivocate how awful the Dolphins played. As I wrote, they were the week one. On week one. But I'm also. That's good.
Billy Gill
That's a writer.
Dan Le Batard
I like that.
Mike Ryan
You're a writer.
Billy Gill
He liked it so much that he waited for it to land and then stumbled over his next words because he's like. Yeah, I said it right.
Greg Cody
When I quote myself, you know, I like the line, but I'm also not going to over. See, I knew we were going to get this today. Okay. I knew what I.
Zaslow
What tipped you off?
Greg Cody
I knew what I was walking into. The fact that. Fire. Everybody, fire. Tua. Trade this guy McDaniels out. He's. I was actually making fun of that in the column about how this is. This stink is so colossal.
Dan Le Batard
Zach Wilson.
Greg Cody
It's going to be major. Over. Yeah. Zach Wilson went in garbage time. Which describes the Dolphins entirely.
Chris Cody
I think we should add a seventh offensive specialist.
Dan Le Batard
Huh?
Chris Cody
Bobby Slowik. Not enough. We brought in so many coaches. The same. Like.
Greg Cody
Like, they.
Chris Cody
They got you figured out. Mike McDaniel.
Billy Gill
Yeah.
Chris Cody
They got you figured out with this offense. Show me something.
Billy Gill
Okay, so this is the figure out. It's been crazy. The way we. The way we analyze this sport is crazy. Hey, when Tyree's faster than everyone else, the Dolphins have great offense. And. And when he's not. Oh. Oh. They're fragile. But you guys are. You guys are funny in that. Billy and Greg said, must win week one.
Dan Le Batard
Well, it was. I'm sticking to that. This season's over. I. I'm not. Zaz is. I'm telling you right now. Season's over.
Zaslow
It's over.
Greg Cody
No, it is obviously not.
Zaslow
You said it was a must win. Yeah, and they lost my 25.
Greg Cody
Allow me to explain.
Chris Cody
Do it into the mic.
Greg Cody
Maybe I said it was a must win from the standpoint of energizing a blase fan base, which they failed miserably to do. But when I say this, when you all say the season's over, comical excess, comical overreaction, it does not surprise me in the least. In fact, I would have predicted that Miami would be a slight favorite at home against New England next week. Team Even bad teams tend to bounce back, particularly in a home opener. Dolphins have won several home openers in a row. The idea that the Dolphins are going to be one and one a week from now is not the least bit improbable. And I think we just have to not fire everybody and not do anything so drastic after even the worst performance.
Billy Gill
But. But for you to go from must win Greg and me to be me to be here saying worse, it's not the worst thing I've ever seen. It's just I've never seen that. It's they lost 62 to 7 and I think they were up early in that game like I think did they score first? Like it wasn't. It wasn't what that was right like it and I understand that the that the Jags offense but we're talking week one on must win Brunell was so good after after that game and it's as it's so calamitous that anyone who watched it can tell you for that day oh that's the worst team in the league. The Dolphins are the worst team in the league. And I watched the Saints. I watched the Saints yesterday.
Mike Ryan
Carolina was pretty bad. Yeah the the fan base is really upset. Dan Norley tweets Offense clicking defense clicking dead owner so jealous of the col. What's up listeners?
Billy Gill
I don't know about you but when.
Chris Cody
I was a kid I certainly dreamed big.
Mike Ryan
I think when we were all kids.
Chris Cody
We dreamed big whether we wanted to be astronauts, presidents. Personally I wanted to be a pitcher for the then Florida Marlins. Now we're dreaming of something else like.
Billy Gill
Owning our own businesses.
Mike Ryan
But let's be honest, launching it is total chaos.
Chris Cody
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Billy Gill
AI tools want customers built in email.
Dan Le Batard
And social tools and if you get.
Mike Ryan
Stuck 247 support real award winning human Beings turn those dreams into and give.
Chris Cody
Them the best shot at success with Shopify. Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at shopify.com batard go to shopify.com batard shopify.com.
Billy Gill
Howdy.
Mike Ryan
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Billy Gill
Don Levitard.
Chris Cody
All right, we gotta go back out there. That was big. Wake him up.
Billy Gill
Oh, he doesn't want. He doesn't want to be bothered anymore. Now it's getting tense because he didn't need that. As a result, he needs something that happens.
Chris Cody
You can see Mother effing.
Billy Gill
Can we bother?
Chris Cody
Are we bothering you right now?
Billy Gill
Turn on your microphone.
Greg Cody
My microphone's on stugats.
Chris Cody
Paint the scene.
Greg Cody
The paint the scene is. I gotta go to work. Good night.
Dan Le Batard
This is the Dan Levatar show with the Stugach.
Billy Gill
Andrew Luck made a comeback yesterday.
Chris Cody
Thank you for bringing this up, Dan.
Dan Le Batard
We have video.
Chris Cody
ESPN did like these original. I don't even know what this is. Some sort of documentary where they're just like a day in the life of Andrew Luck. And it just. It. You know what made me smile on a dark day with the Dolphins? It was that I know we have. We're gonna get this video ready. But this is just Andrew Luck. If we were doing a parody of what Andrew Life's Lux life is like now, this is what it would be.
Dan Le Batard
Hit it, guys.
Billy Gill
This place, it's magical.
Greg Cody
Nerd. Nerd.
Mike Ryan
What a great life I have. I get to ride my bike to work every day.
Billy Gill
That is like a spoof. That is. They're messing with us. If you told me that that was Mike Ryan who was doing that, that he was in costume and that that is perfect as spoof. That bicycle, that helmet are ridiculous. Do you do electric bike, by the way?
Chris Cody
Cheating a little bit.
Billy Gill
The Colts haven't looked as good as they looked yesterday since that guy.
Mike Ryan
It's magical.
Dan Le Batard
Why was Greg screaming nerd at him?
Greg Cody
I mean, come on.
Chris Cody
He's not wrong. Let's play the full thing again. I need this again.
Billy Gill
I mean, it's really good. The helmet is what you'd imagine it would be. The music isn't even something that we created. It's just the soundtrack in his head.
Mike Ryan
This place, it's magical. What a great life I have. I get to ride my bike to work every day.
Chris Cody
Of course, Andrew Luck, when he makes a left turn on his bike, he does the hand signal, of course, of like making the left here.
Mike Ryan
On your left.
Chris Cody
Yeah, on your left.
Zaslow
That's not Saturday live, right?
Billy Gill
Mike Ryan, are you jealous of the way that he says magical when talking about Stanford and goes and gets it from the Fleming part of his joy.
Greg Cody
Go.
Mike Ryan
It's magical. I'm jealous. I didn't think of this.
Chris Cody
I get to ride my bike tour.
Billy Gill
But that bike, if you had thought of it, tell me what you would have put on that bike. Maybe like one of the little bells, like, what would you have put on that bike?
Mike Ryan
That's all it's missing.
Billy Gill
But that bike is the safest bike that's ever been ridden.
Dan Le Batard
Well, the front looks like it's for a child to be sitting. And he has children.
Billy Gill
Give it to me again. Give it to me again. That helmet place.
Mike Ryan
It'S magical. What a great life I have. I get to ride my bike to work every day.
Billy Gill
And Andrew Luck did not wear a helmet that thick when he was playing football.
Greg Cody
I think that video should have ended with two Hell's Angels running him off the road.
Mike Ryan
It's magical.
Billy Gill
Why?
Dan Le Batard
Stanford seems lovely. Like, he seems happy. We're laughing at this man's happiness.
Billy Gill
No, I. I love him. No, Jealous of his happiness. See, he is. Look, he's got it figured out on his very safe bicycle. No one is going to do to him. What could have happened to Pennix at the goal line if Penix weren't an extraterrestrial. There was so Much from yesterday's football to talk about, but I'm magical.
Dan Le Batard
They're 0 and 2 by the way. Stanford, like, it's magical now, but buddy, start being a little stressed out here.
Billy Gill
Billy's team. Look, I don't know. Billy got a lot of texts this weekend. We're not going to do a lot of college football today. Although I suspect we'll make fun of the Gators. But Billy, I imagine you got a lot of texts when your team. The FIU. Golden Panthers.
Dan Le Batard
Yeah, like the Cardinal.
Billy Gill
The FIU are down 10, nothing at number two, Penn State. Deep into the third quarter, chance to.
Dan Le Batard
Take a lead, three nothing. At the beginning of that game, Willie went for it. A fourth down within field goal range, Willie went for it. Which by the way, I co signed on that because I was texting along. They didn't. They didn't get it. But I was texting along. I said, you know what? You're not going to beat Penn State. Playing scared. Got to go for it there. Now granted, when you end up losing, you know, 35 to nothing, garbage time, points, but whatever. When you end up losing 35, nothing. Three would have looked nice in the score.
Billy Gill
That was a good showing by fi.
Chris Cody
Hell yeah.
Dan Le Batard
Was you kidding me? That was awesome.
Mike Ryan
They got some push early on.
Dan Le Batard
I was getting texts from people I haven't heard from in some time saying, you know, if fiu, they cover the spread, they should cancel. They should cancel school on Monday. School money.
Zaslow
Am I the only one?
Dan Le Batard
Everyone was watching that game. For some reason, I didn't understand it. So many people were texting me about fiu. Penn State. Yes.
Zaslow
S. Am I the only one who knows that they didn't score?
Dan Le Batard
Yeah.
Mike Ryan
Ant it is a little odd, the game. Everyone just remembers that it was tightly contested for about two and a half.
Dan Le Batard
Quarters, but not two and a half. They were down 20 nothing with like five minutes left in the fourth. It's a close game.
Chris Cody
Did they lose their vote?
Mike Ryan
Everyone's like super jacked. Oh, I got zero points. Anytime that you can score zero points at State College, you gotta be fired up.
Zaslow
Has anyone ever been pleased with their performance when scoring zero points?
Greg Cody
It's sad. It is. And nothing personal, Billy, but when you.
Dan Le Batard
Guys are all miserable for me, it's very personal.
Greg Cody
When you're excited. When you're excited about losing 35 to nothing, that's a bad sign. That's a B. You don't think Penn State led up a little bit? They could have won 50 to nothing if they wanted to. Come on.
Mike Ryan
I Mean, they were pouring it on at the end. They were going for style points because.
Dan Le Batard
They couldn't get them. At the beginning of the game.
Mike Ryan
Yeah, they were. They were trying to score touchdowns with a minute left. It was James Franklin doing his absolute best. James Franklin.
Billy Gill
I don't want to bury Billy for being excited about his team that scored zero points.
Dan Le Batard
People that don't want to be happy here. Greg.
Billy Gill
Greg. It was 35, nothing. But in the third quarter, it. Look, everyone was asking, Billy, is your defense good? That's the number two team in the country. It was squeezed over Arch Manning in front of the right behind the defending champions. We're all assuming that's a good football team, okay? And FIU goes on the road and it's. And they're down 10, nothing. And in the game, in the third. In the third quarter, this is.
Greg Cody
This is the one. A great example of the one reason why I prefer the NFL over college football. In that game, there was zero chance FIU was going to win that game.
Dan Le Batard
Well, FIU played closer to Penn State than the Dolphins did to the Colts.
Greg Cody
It was like Bethune Cookman against Miami Hurricanes. It's just a matter of how badly are they going to lose.
Billy Gill
Did you hear what Billy said?
Greg Cody
Yeah, I did.
Billy Gill
Because you're in here defending the Dolphins.
Greg Cody
I am not defending the Dolphins.
Dan Le Batard
Today you said that Mike Daniel should get promoted.
Billy Gill
Greg, this is where the Flames are on this. Pete Prisco, CBS quote. The problem is Mike McDaniel. I think his seat just got really, really hot. And all the reallys are capitalized. Like both of them are capitalized. All the letters.
Greg Cody
No duh. Pete Prisco, no duh. I wrote that in my column. By the way, I have a column on the game that you might want to read in the Miami Herald, because I said exactly that. I said, Everybody knows Mike McDaniel came into this season coaching for his job, but nobody expected the Heat to be turned up this high after one effing game. I wrote all that. I am not apologizing for the Dolphins in any way. What I'm doing is getting over the overreaction that, hey, because they lost this game the way they did, McDaniels has no future with this team. Two is done.
Zaslow
They've gotten progressively worse with Mike McDaniel. From year one to right now. They've gotten progressively worse.
Greg Cody
They were pretty good in year two.
Zaslow
I know, I understand. But from 1, 2, 3, 4 now, they've gotten progressively worse.
Greg Cody
Yeah, right. If you want to judge this season by one of 17 games you're welcome.
Billy Gill
Greg.
Dan Le Batard
Greg. That's all we have.
Billy Gill
I do think it's fair to say. With eight months of. Of prep and with you saying. And Billy saying it was a must win game, even though I laughed at you guys about it, was the absurdity of that to have the game played that way again. Everyone's watching. That's the worst team in the league. They cannot stop the Colts. It's empirical and it hasn't been seen in the league in a long time. Like that team had Peyton Manning. It's been like a decade since they had that kind of drive efficiency. They don't. No team in the sport scores all seven times it touches the football. Like that's not a thing.
Greg Cody
I couldn't agree more. And I want to quote myself again, because you guys are saying things that I wrote as if I don't believe in all that. I'm quoting myself. I mean, seriously, Miami had an entire off season, a whole training camp, and then a full prison to come out like this.
Billy Gill
What was that?
Greg Cody
Is the this capitalized this is in itels? I love itals. Oh, yeah, I love itels because I picture the reader obeying the itel and going like this.
Billy Gill
Put it on the poll, please. Juju our italics the Lord's font.
Dan Le Batard
Just a quick correction. If I only lost 34. Nothing. Not 35. Nothing.
Billy Gill
Billy, I'm sorry. Billy, I'm sorry. They urinated on your joy. That.
Dan Le Batard
That's fine. Shul Bull is this weekend joy. Craig's. Greg's worried because he knows what's coming for FAU this week. The shulable fiu. Fau. And I'm on the call, so I'm gonna be talking a lot of to.
Greg Cody
You, Greg Cody, the prestigious Shoela bowl urinated.
Dan Le Batard
What gets you happy at this advanced stage in your life?
Greg Cody
Everything gets me happy. I got a big grin on my face.
Mike Ryan
Urinated. I mean, we only. There was. There was a lot of pro FIU spin on that. And I think we just helpfully pointed out zero points.
Zaslow
Zero points.
Dan Le Batard
I gotta be honest with you. The fact that you guys are this worried about FIU's successes or failures is more telling on you than it is on me. What are you guys afraid of, dad?
Chris Cody
Can you believe me?
Dan Le Batard
Why are you afraid to schedule fiu.
Chris Cody
Billy, being a homer since you lost that fight?
Dan Le Batard
If I remember correctly.
Mike Ryan
Yeah, that's what's happening.
Dan Le Batard
If I remember correctly, I also would say FIU and um have one common opponent this season. Bethune Cookman. FIU won that game 42:9. And I believe you guys won what, 45 to 3? Not that different those two teams, I would say.
Chris Cody
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Billy Gill
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Chris Cody
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Zaslow
Warning.
Chris Cody
This product contains nicotine. Nicotine is an addictive chemical.
Mike Ryan
I want to talk about home security for a minute. For the longest time I thought it was just alarms and sirens. That once somebody breaks in, you deal with it. But when you think about it, that's already too late. That's reactive. I had my car broken into on my property a while back. The only thing I could do was call 911. That's reactive. I don't like leaving things up to chance. That's why I decided to install Simplisafe. Why? Because they flipped the idea of home security by making it proactive. Their Active Guard Outdoor Protection uses AI powered cameras to actually identify people lurking around your property. And here's the key. SimpliSafe's monitoring agents step in before anything goes down. They'll talk directly to intruders through the camera, light them up with spotlights, and even call the cops if they need to. That's not reacting. That's stopping crime before it starts. No contracts, no hidden fees. That's why they've been named best home security system by U.S. news & World Report five years in a row and they back it up with a 60 day money back guarantee. SimpliSafe is offering Levitage show listeners 50% off a new system with professional monitoring. Plus your first month is free. Visit simplisafe.com DLB to claim the offer. That's simplisafe.com DLB there's no safe like SimpliSafe.
Dan Le Batard
Don LeBatard Football.
Billy Gill
Football, football, football, football. St. This is the Dan Levatar show with the St. I don't know how, how good or bad obviously FIU is at offense.
Dan Le Batard
They have a guy named Chainsaw. What are you talking about?
Billy Gill
This is a Billy Gill specialty. This is his beat and so he can tell you how good they are.
Zaslow
Blades.
Billy Gill
But I assume that they had zero points in that game in the third quarter because.
Dan Le Batard
Because they were going for it because Willie said, you know what? Foot on the gas. We're not gonna let up. We're not kicking field goals.
Greg Cody
No.
Dan Le Batard
And you know they didn't. They didn't score the touchdown. But they also didn't settle for field goal.
Mike Ryan
That's right. They said we're not kicking field goals because we're not scoring any points.
Greg Cody
Yep. We don't want to score.
Billy Gill
I. I assume.
Dan Le Batard
I feel for all of you, honestly. You guys are sad, pathetic people.
Zaslow
Your team scored zero.
Dan Le Batard
Yeah. How'd you have to.
Zaslow
Yo. I don't know why we're not talking about uf, all right? We're talking about FIU right now.
Billy Gill
Okay, hold on, everybody.
Greg Cody
My L's won.
Dan Le Batard
Sorry. You went to Santa Fe saying yo.
Greg Cody
Fau. Big win yesterday. Who. Or Saturday, whenever the hell it was.
Dan Le Batard
Who they play?
Greg Cody
I can't remember. Some bad team. Famu, I think. A and M, the Tough Rattlers. But FAU with a big.
Dan Le Batard
Why are you disparaging fau?
Greg Cody
Foul isle on the prowl. I'm not. The Owls one big. They're either two and oh. Or one and one. I gotta. I gotta look that up.
Billy Gill
I'm sorry I brought this descent of football.
Dan Le Batard
I don't think you are. I think you're happy. Everyone's fighting with each other. I don't know what it is. We play Andrew Luck. He's so happy and everyone's laughing at him. Then we start taking shots at each other's successes or non failures.
Billy Gill
You're coming at me right now.
Chris Cody
Can we hear it again?
Billy Gill
No. Yeah. Which one? Andrew Luck. Let's. Yeah, go ahead. Play it again. This place.
Mike Ryan
It'S magical.
Greg Cody
Is it?
Mike Ryan
What a great life I have. I get to ride my bike to work every day.
Dan Le Batard
My Lord.
Billy Gill
It's honestly how I imagined his life was. All of it. I imagine that that's what he was doing in retirement. An old school educ. Driving, you know, riding his bike to campus to live the rest of his life without concussions.
Mike Ryan
It's magical.
Billy Gill
I'm just.
Zaslow
I'm just gonna say. I'm just gonna say it out loud. Riding your bike to work isn't even close to as good as driving your car.
Dan Le Batard
Especially in a suit.
Billy Gill
Car is so much better than a bike.
Zaslow
Nobody has a choice. Do you want a bike or do you want a car? They say, you know what? I'd rather have a bike.
Billy Gill
You really got that off your chest there. The game for the Miami Dolphins. And I will get off this subject, okay? I will get this sent off of me in 10 minutes and we will talk about the rest of the insanity that was yesterday and the weekend. But you guys see that Orioles game? It's a good Orioles game. There was so Much in the weekend it was. They were won out from being no hit and then they scored four runs.
Greg Cody
It's football. Dodgers, Orioles. You know what?
Dan Le Batard
Yeah, you can cuss what's happening right now.
Greg Cody
Ridiculous.
Billy Gill
We will, we will put the Dolphins, if not the season, this game, in the garbage bin within the next 10 minutes. But these are some extreme opinions here that Billy and Zads are having after week one. And I believe they speak for the fan base your son is in. I see him nodding vigorously on this season is over. This team is done. There's no reason to put any hope in this particular basket. And also injuries yesterday along the offensive line and at corner the two positions. Like they couldn't stop anything with those guys on the field. So like a real apocalypse yesterday could not have gone worse.
Chris Cody
Their only NFL corner gets hurt. Their new offensive lineman gets hurt. Waddle turns into a piece of glass again. Every time he gets tackled, he's hurt. It's ridiculous.
Billy Gill
And. And John New Smith, the ball's bouncing off him. And the Steelers are winning the way they do. And. And Jalen Ramsey at the end of that game finishes the Jets.
Zaslow
And who forced the fumble on Tua? Xavier and Howard? Like everything went wrong for them yesterday.
Dan Le Batard
Steelers are done, by the way.
Billy Gill
What?
Dan Le Batard
Yeah, Steelers are done.
Zaslow
Who had a better weekend, FIU or Steelers?
Billy Gill
Hold on a minute. Let's put a bookmark in that one. Billy, I want to get all the Dolphin stuff out of here. I want no more nothing but Dolphins. Get purge yourselves. I want to be done with this. I do not want to talk about this team all season like that was an apocalypse. It's the worst thing that can happen. Zaslo's here and he says two is done, McDaniel's done. And you can argue if you want, but it's like the game yesterday does not provide any kind of rebuttal to what it is that says is saying, hey, Coach, this thing unrebutable, this thing, this thing collapsed on McDaniel yesterday. Their two point favorite next weekend against the Patriots. Right?
Greg Cody
Welcome to the NFL. You look like shit. One week, you win the next week and all your fans are going all right. Okay, yeah.
Dan Le Batard
Then you got Bills.
Greg Cody
We had a bad first game, now we're back. Okay, calm down. You know, I'm just saying. I'm predicting that's what's going to happen.
Billy Gill
But Greg, that's the reaction if they lose 26, 24. Not like that.
Zaslow
None of the fans are going to have that reaction. You just portrayed if they win next week against the weekend.
Greg Cody
None of them. Okay, Greg. I disagree.
Billy Gill
Greg. There's no dispute on what I'm saying. Like you can say one game at a time. You can say the NFL is unpredictable to week to week. If. If what we're looking for is what will the Dolphins look like next week? What they just looked like. Like is as bad as it could have looked like. There's nothing. I don't know how you have it being worse. The first half is something that hasn't happened to them offensively in 30 years.
Greg Cody
And when you say I don't know how you. How you have it worse. I don't have it worse. Quit trying to say that. I'm apologizing for that performance. It was so putrid that the 30 to 8 score flattered the Dolphins.
Chris Cody
There's nothing that could have happened yesterday.
Greg Cody
Performance was worse than that score.
Chris Cody
Nothing could have happened yesterday to push you to.
Billy Gill
It gets injured to also gets injured.
Greg Cody
What? I'm not optimistic about the Dolphins.
Chris Cody
You just said they're going to win on Sunday and everything's going to be fine.
Greg Cody
I said I'm not the least bit surprised that they're a two point favorite because that's the way the NFL.
Billy Gill
The line went down since I said it. One and a half.
Greg Cody
Okay, there you go. And New England might be favored by.
Zaslow
Next Sunday on the Patriots.
Dan Le Batard
Yeah, but that one and a half you told us last week really means that the Patriots are one and a half point favorite because you get three points when you're at home. So the Patriots are technically favored.
Greg Cody
Well, we'll see at kickoff.
Chris Cody
Maybe the Colts are just the new Chiefs.
Dan Le Batard
It's possible.
Chris Cody
Have we thought about that time?
Billy Gill
No.
Greg Cody
Daniel Jones. The new Mahomes.
Dan Le Batard
Daniel Mahomes.
Chris Cody
That would make me feel better. If they turn out to be like a 15 and 2 team, I'd be.
Billy Gill
Like, okay, no, no. There's no. There's no. There's no feel better on. They have the ball seven times. They score seven times. And Peyton Manning didn't do that in that uniform there. I don't know. We knew defense was going to be a problem. And then you're saying to yourself before the game if we want to do analysis, hey there, front 7M. Cover up the corners. They don't have. They've got the worst corners in the league. Oh my God. There's no pressure. Oh my God. Oh, Daniel Jones is just going to do whatever he wants all game and it's. And they're not going to be able to stop them in any way in A way that has not been seen in dolphin football in my lifetime. Covering them. And statistically, when you go through the numbers, there haven't been a lot of football games where any offense has ever looked as good as Daniel Jones's did yesterday because. Not because Daniel Jones is so good in his first game with the Colts because the Dolphins look looked that bad. It could not have been worse. I'm telling you, unless TUA had had gotten a concussion.
Zaslow
I just don't know how you come back from Greg. One of the biggest problems with the team last year was it felt like the rest of the league had kind of caught up to McDaniel and the offense and we liked through the hall. He's not making adjustments.
Billy Gill
This.
Zaslow
That all right. Week to week basis, I guess. But at least this here before this season, you have an entire off season to. To do something different.
Greg Cody
Okay, so I wrote and.
Zaslow
And it felt like it felt the same as last year where the offense is totally inept again. And that wasn't. Now look, maybe Cold Stevens will be good this year. They were terrible last year.
Greg Cody
Well, so wait a minute. Timeout. They were 8 and 9 last year. That's not, that's not terrible.
Zaslow
But the defense was terrible.
Greg Cody
Don't talk like they were 3 and 14. They were 8 and 9. They missed the playoffs by one game.
Zaslow
I think their defense is ranked 29th last year though.
Billy Gill
Again.
Zaslow
Maybe their defense will be good this year. That was a terrible defense last year.
Greg Cody
Okay, it was. It was very bad defense last year.
Zaslow
And, and that's. That's why I'm totally out on Mike McDaniel at this point. You can't have the off season with all the chatter and then this is what we get right out the gate. Like I don't have any faith. I don't have any faith in him being able to solve the problem.
Chris Cody
Let's bring in another specialist.
Greg Cody
I think the blame starts with Chris Greer, who. Who knew four months ago that he had an awful cornerback situation and didn't do anything to fix it other than signing the ghost of Rasool Douglas just before opening day. That's a big problem. The offensive line has been a problem for years. Everybody knows Tyreek Hill is getting slower and probably will be traded by mid season. There were problems that they failed to address that don't come right to Mike McDaniel's lap.
Billy Gill
What do you do with all of this, Tua? Finish with a QBR of 2.7 out of 100. Okay. McDaniel entered the season as the betting favorite. To be the first coach fired. And now that rises. We're in agreement on that. Yes. And right before the game, Tim Reynolds, four minutes before kickoff, my official Dolphins prediction, 11 and six wild card. Admittedly, I'm not the brightest dude sometimes, but I think they're better than most people expect at this point. Okay. And I watched the Saints play yesterday. At this point, there is no team in football. I watched the Carolina Panthers play yesterday. I saw the New York Giants. There is no. I saw the Titans of Cam Ward play yesterday. There is no team in professional football that had a more apocalyptic beginning than the Miami Dolphins yesterday.
Greg Cody
Correct.
Billy Gill
They looked like a minor league team trying to play professional football. When you paired it against what was happening in the rest of the league. All of the close games everywhere, everyone, everyone is a bounce away. Except in this one place where you're just seeing every single time it's Colts marching down the field and Dolphins being more and than they've been since. Since 1991.
Greg Cody
11 of the 15 games were one scored decisions. The Dolphins unequivocally played the worst of any team on opening day.
Dan Le Batard
They didn't lose a preseason game.
Greg Cody
Right. And the perfect season. Dolphins had a losing record.
Dan Le Batard
Exactly. So.
Greg Cody
But the question going forward is, are we burying the entire season based on a terrible.
Billy Gill
You said it was a must win, so what has to happen?
Greg Cody
I said it was a must win. Not for the season. For the confidence and faith of the fans. It was a. It was a faith quaking performance. If you're a Dolphin fan right now, you guys are the majority in saying trade him, fire him. You guys are the majority.
Dan Le Batard
Did you see the rumors of who's going to replace McDaniel?
Greg Cody
I'm trying to be the VOR here, Gruden. Oh, God.
Billy Gill
Let's do a top five quarterbacks that Chris Cody, your son is ready to replace Tua with right now. If he could get the option of replacement placing him right now.
Chris Cody
First I got Oli. These are ones are that I feel like are obvious.
Zaslow
Like are these guys who are like available.
Chris Cody
No, I mean these are just quarterbacks in the league that I just right now give them to me over to these first ones. Oli are obvious. Like I don't think I'll have any push back here. Drake May, Michael Penck Jr. Cam Ward and Bon.
Billy Gill
Hold on, hold on.
Chris Cody
Drake May, Michael Penck Jr. Cam Ward and Bonix. Those are Oli. Like those are just easy. I would do that right now.
Dan Le Batard
Ammo is getting hit Yesterday, man.
Chris Cody
Number five, J.J. mcCarthy. Haven't seen him yet? I'll roll the dice.
Zaslow
He's literally never played a game.
Chris Cody
Number four, Aaron Rodgers. I'll take one year with Aaron Rodgers and then I'll take Nussmeier next year.
Billy Gill
I don't give a.
Chris Cody
Number three, Justin Fields. I said he should have been the.
Billy Gill
Backup a year ago.
Chris Cody
He looks better than Tua did. Number two, Joe Flacco. Same thing as Aaron Rodgers. I'll take one year with Joe Flaccid. Flacco. Give me Nussmeier. Like, let's.
Greg Cody
I'm done with it.
Billy Gill
Oh, no.
Chris Cody
Joe Flacco is better out of the pocket than two is.
Billy Gill
Oh, I'm telling you.
Chris Cody
And number one, Arch Manning. I'll roll the dice. I don't give a. I'm done with two.
Dan Le Batard
I can't play quarterback right now.
Chris Cody
He will next year.
Dan Le Batard
What about Tannehill? You didn't mention him. He's out there.
Chris Cody
I would sign up for Arch Manning right now, ahead of time.
Mike Ryan
Bull take out of you.
Zaslow
Did you know Tannehill was a wide receiver in college?
Billy Gill
Tannehill. Tannehill's out available.
Chris Cody
He has toes for them.
Mike Ryan
Hey, listeners, it's Mike. Hey, Billy Gill.
Dan Le Batard
Hey.
Mike Ryan
Hey, Billy, as a proud member of your inner circle, remember when we were hanging out last weekend?
Dan Le Batard
Oh, yeah. Fishtail palms.
Mike Ryan
Fishtail Palms. The great memories we made. Kids playing in the pool. And in our hands, a nice ice cold pan of Miller. It was so hot out.
Dan Le Batard
I know, but it was so cold in my hand.
Mike Ryan
We took that first sip. It was crisp. It was refreshing. Oh, man, there is nothing like cracking open a Miller Light with your crew and your inner circle bones.
Dan Le Batard
Hell, yeah, we fist bumped.
Mike Ryan
Whether it's we. We actually really did. Whether it's that touchdown didn't make a.
Dan Le Batard
Sound, but I just thought, bam.
Billy Gill
Boom.
Mike Ryan
Whether it's that touchdown you didn't see coming or just arguing about fantasy lineups. You and I did plenty of that. Miller Lite has been the taste that you can depend on for 50 years. Brewed for flavor with simple ingredients, rich toffee notes, and that iconic golden color. And here's a kicker, Billy.
Greg Cody
What?
Mike Ryan
It's just 96 calories.
Zaslow
What?
Mike Ryan
3.2 carbs per 12 ounces. The original light beer since 1975 and still hitting different five decades later. Miller Lite, great taste. 96 calories. Go to millerlight.com dan to find delivery options near you. Or you can pick up some Miller Lite pretty much anywhere they sell beer. It's Miller time. Celebrate responsibly. Miller Brewing Co. Milwaukee, Wisconsin. 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces.
Date: September 8, 2025
Hosts: Dan Le Batard, Stugotz, Billy Gill, Greg Cody, Chris Cody, Mike Ryan, Zaslow
Location: Elser Hotel, Downtown Miami
This “Local Hour” episode opens the NFL season with the Le Batard crew coming together—live and lively from Miami—to vent, debate, and spiral after one of the most miserable Week 1 performances the Miami Dolphins have delivered in decades. The fate of coach Mike McDaniel and quarterback Tua Tagovailoa are debated with the surly zeal only Miami sports can inspire. A healthy side of Dolphins despair is seasoned by mockery, overreactions, running jokes, and a little Andrew Luck magic. The show blends incisive football analysis, South Florida sports angst, and the show’s trademark comedy as the cast processes what feels like an “apocalypse” for Dolphins fans.
The episode perfectly encapsulates the “local hour” at its finest—equal parts sports group therapy, overcaffeinated overreaction, and comedic Miami chaos. The tone is boisterous, irreverent, and delightfully self-aware, with hosts poking fun at themselves and each other. Regular doses of football insight sit alongside signature running jokes and Miami-centric banter.