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Dan Le Batard
You're listening to DraftKings Network.
Stugotz
This episode is brought to you by Amazon Prime. There's nothing sweeter than baking cookies during the holidays.
Lucy
With Prime, I get all my ingredients delivered right to my door, fast and free.
Stugotz
No last minute store trips needed.
Lucy
And of course, I blast my favorite.
Stugotz
Holiday playlist on Amazon Music. It's the ultimate soundtrack for creating unforgettable memories. From streaming to shopping.
Billy
It's on Prime.
Lucy
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Stugotz
Shadow Show.
Jessica
Shadow Show.
Stugotz
Shadow Show.
Jessica
Shadow Show.
Stugotz
Shadow Show.
Jessica
Shadow Show.
Stugotz
Shadow Show. Shadowin it. Shadowing it. Jessica's getting her lips painted.
Dan Le Batard
Painted. That's not the term for that.
Lucy
Sticked.
Stugotz
What? What is the verb? What is the.
Dan Le Batard
I would just say like getting your lips done. Putting lipstick on painted is. That's a new one. I've never heard that.
Stugotz
Okay, can you guys tell me how you would start the show if you were me? I don't know where to start.
Billy
Today's my birthday.
Lucy
I would start with Josh Allen being the best quarterback that I've ever seen. Oh my God, he's so good. Maybe the Dolphins and their conspicuous and forever mediocrity. I don't ever want to talk about that team again. Yeah, me either. I don't care about them. But it feels like the place we're supposed to start were South Florida show.
Dan Le Batard
I'd start with the TikTok ban.
Stugotz
What?
Dan Le Batard
I'm going through some things personally right now and it's just that they're banning TikTok. I don't want to get up in the morning, the sun's not shining as bright. The birds are no longer chirping the trying to take away our precious TikTok.
Billy
I would start with the pop Tart bowl as a real toaster this year.
Dan Le Batard
That's so sick.
Lucy
It's awesome. You have to plug it in or it's like on charge. Plug it in.
Billy
Plug it in investigate. I don't know if it's battery powered or not.
Stugotz
You guys haven't made fun of Mike yet for the Pop Tart bowl, you.
Dan Le Batard
Guys, that's a very prestigious bowl.
Billy
It is a prestige bowl, Dan. Thank you, Lucy.
Lucy
I think the name does plenty.
Mike Ryan
The Pop Tart bowl.
Lucy
Like, you just can't feel good about that. Even if it's a prestigious bowl, you don't feel good about it. I did it on social media, but I refuse to add him because I'm scared.
Billy
Yeah, we're all a little scared of him.
Stugotz
I'm actually interested, lucy, in the TikTok addiction. You are officially so addicted that if they take this thing from you, it is a source of stimuli. They're unlike any other. Right? Because it's just it. It's the more aggressive addiction than any of the social medias, is it not?
Dan Le Batard
It definitely is. Now, I'm very Sad about the TikTok ban happening, but I have a personal goal to watch all the tiktoks ever made before they get rid of the app. So it's just scroll, scroll, scroll, scroll, scroll. It's. I feel like I'm losing a part of me, and it's really, really sad.
Lucy
TikTok is just better than the other ones. Like you say, it's the most addicting. It's just the best.
Dan Le Batard
Oh, my God.
Lucy
It knows me. My TikTok knows me.
Dan Le Batard
There's this great trend right now, and it's of this muppet and it's singing. It's singing like a prayer by Madonna. It's just people talking about incredibly barracing things that have happened to him. And there's this one girl and she was talking about she's olive oil girl, and she put an olive oil hair mask in, and then all the olive oil, like, fell out. And she, like, fell in the middle of the night and set off their security alarm. And her dad came out and he was super, super pissed. And she was like, oh, no, I'm so sorry. And then the security alarm went off, so she went back to bed. And then a bunch of the cops showed up, all because she did an olive oil hair mask.
Billy
And the water was out, Lucy, so she couldn't wash it out of her hair. And then she had to go to school with Saran wrap on her head.
Dan Le Batard
Rock and roll. You can't get that anywhere else.
Stugotz
The painted smile on Jessica's face as Lucy yammered.
Mike Ryan
This is the Dan Levator show with the Stuttgarts podcast.
Stugotz
Today's episode is sponsored by Draftkings Stay tuned because you'll Hear more about DraftKings.
Mike Ryan
And all it has to offer throughout the show. Draft Kings, the crown is yours.
Stugotz
We are awaiting Billy and Stu Gotz who are going to bomb in from God Bless Football. Getting out a lot of content early because football gave us so much to talk about yesterday. And I don't know how you guys feel about this, what I'm about to say, but I'm a little bit ashamed that the feeling that swept over me yesterday was a combination of, my God, this is the coolest. Three dudes have just straight up punched a football. Just throwing punches on the field. They're knocking the football out. Oh, there's a couple of fat guy touchdowns. Isn't that delightful? Oh, and also a of guys dropping the ball right before the goal line, just giving away these touchdowns that all these people are fighting over while throwing punches. And in the middle of it I'm like, tua, don't run headfirst into anything. Tua, stop. It's not worth it. You're six and seven. We all see you're not that close. That team closer than you're close. Look out, Tua, be careful.
Lucy
I love that character, whatever it is.
Stugotz
Tell me you didn't feel that. The announcers are doing it. Everyone's doing it. He runs in the open field there. And I hesitate to laugh about this because yesterday Grant Dubose has taken off the field in a stretcher and he's shirtless and he's taken his helmet off and you're horrified. And then let's go out to Jacksonville where the jets are in the red.
Lucy
Zone, where Mac Jones is doing a spin move. And then there is face celebration.
Stugotz
Mac Jones is doing finger guns. What's going on, Dan?
Billy
That voice sounded like you doing an impression of Charlie Kravitz doing you an inception of impressions.
Stugotz
Kravitz. Can you guys get me the sound of that? He does a good whiny me.
Billy
What are we gonna do about that? By the way? Someone needs to put their foot down. He's just being straight up disrespectful.
Stugotz
Well, we've got beef. We've got legitimate beef. So we'll get to that in a second. I just didn't want to be too publicly offended in a way that, you.
Billy
Know, I'll be offended for you.
Stugotz
Okay, help me there. I'd like.
Billy
Damn you, Charlie.
Stugotz
I need the protection in the middle of all that yesterday. So I'm watching over here. Here's a 300 pound guy doing a backflip over here, here's a patriot, he is pantomiming, doing a fencing move while he throws, gets a flag thrown at his feet because he just horse collared and none of it counts. So. And I'm watching like all this dance of these violent. The violent Giants enjoying Aaron Rodgers rushing for 45 yards, six carries for 45 yards, enjoying the football of it all. And in the middle of it there are the Miami Dolphins. Having us argue in a 6 and 8 season about whether the interceptions were Tyreek Hill's fault or were they Tua's fault. As another season falls by the wayside with a Jason Sanders missed extra point that now only makes me think of Billy. Do you know how funny it is that Jason Sanders exists as a guy who only makes all the field goals, all the 50 yarders, but Mrs. Extra points in a way that makes me think of you every time because you question him even though he's great at everything.
Mike Ryan
But extra points, I don't understand it because he really like can't kick extra points for some reason, which are like the gimmes, but he'll hit every single field goal. And the thing about him missing the extra points is like, it's just like a slow bleed where then you're playing and you're like, oh, now we need a two point conversion. If we even get the touchdown and then we're pressing and then they don't get the touchdown and they don't get. Because two, every time he touches the ball he's throwing interceptions. Which is actually Tyreek Hill's fault. If you believe what it is that the Dolphins fans say. Because no one wants to blame tool for anything, which I'm starting to catch on to. But you couldn't blame him yesterday. I mean that's Tyree kills fault. I mean two hands on the ball. If one hands on the ball, you have to make the catch. Two hands on the ball. How do you have someone take it away? Tyree Kill. Tyree Kill might be washed.
Stugotz
No.
Mike Ryan
Maybe. Maybe they needed to trade him at the deadline and get anything you possibly can for him because he is not good right now. What? Hey, happy birthday, Billy.
Stugotz
You can't storm in here.
Jessica
Hey, happy birthday.
Stugotz
Thank you. That was very good. Hold on. Happy birthday to him. I don't care.
Jessica
Good luck.
Stugotz
I'm not good at birthdays.
Mike Ryan
Successful deflection.
Chris Cody
How do you be?
Dan Le Batard
How are you? How does one be good at a birthday? Because if you got, you got older. So I feel like you. You checked the one box.
Mike Ryan
Yeah, yeah.
Stugotz
You understand why are you all good at birthdays? You all walk right into your birthdays and are just like, shower me.
Lucy
Yeah, I love crazy.
Dan Le Batard
I don't think there's a way to be good at birthdays. I think it's your birthday.
Jessica
You can cry if you want just by showing up. You're not dead. I mean, that's. That's it. Happy birthday to you. Man, you made it. Yes. You're not dead.
Stugotz
You're not dead.
Mike Ryan
You're not dead.
Stugotz
A wonderful mortal dark humor. Not yet, I'm not. You have not killed me yet by singing that instead of Happy Birthday as you should have. Was there something planned for me? Because I got here a little late, and so I sort of ran through it and I just. Louis threw a tepid Happy Birthday, and I thought maybe I missed what was supposed to.
Mike Ryan
What would you like planned for your boss?
Jessica
We just did it.
Stugotz
I mean, Billy, you cannot just storm in here after God Bless Football with Tyreek Hill is washed under your breath.
Mike Ryan
He did say that. He didn't say that. I said, happy Birthday.
Stugotz
What were you guys doing over at God Bless Football? Were you doing that? Did you accuse Tyreek Hill of being washed over there? Because no one's doing that. No one yet has gotten to the trough of Dolphin football and quit so thoroughly on this season that you're already at Tyreek Hill is washed and the newspaper columnists are writing, fire Chris Greer. Which is not something, by the way. Wait a minute. I haven't seen a lot of that in our market where it's just like. I have. Not in our market. The newspaper people saying, fire the guy who runs the Dolphins. I know that's common for the day, and everyone does it in sports radio, and we've made that comment in on television. But the local newspaper columnist writing, fire. The power of the Dolphins based off that game is all shouting, blow it all up.
Mike Ryan
Well, yes. Yeah. No. And we. I mean, on this show, we fired Chris Greer about a month and a half ago. So welcome to the party, newspaper writers. Come on, get with the Times. Dan, you asked what we did on godless football about this game. So we play a game called We Good on God Bless Football. Spoiler alert. You can check that out today. And here's how We Good works. Basically give you the score of a game and just say, we good. Like, we don't need to talk about that game. That game was just like a nothing game. Because, like, there's so many football games, but some of them are not good games. It's like, yeah, we good? So I snuck the Dolphins game until. We good? Because I just didn't want to talk about the Dolphins game because I didn't like how that went, and it didn't make me feel good. So I said, you know what? We good. Dolphins 12, Texans 20. We good.
Stugotz
Okay, let's talk about all of this.
Mike Ryan
No, no.
Jessica
We said I wasn't good.
Mike Ryan
We said, we good. We didn't talk about it earlier.
Stugotz
I'm not. I don't want to talk about the Dolphins. I want you guys. If you'd like to run me off of the Dolphins, you may, because there is plenty that I do do want to talk about from yesterday. I did not know that the eye gouge could be so successful that Miles Garrett would react like that. Where I was thinking that his eyeball was on the field like on the movie Any given Sunday, Right? If you tell me that that is how Miles Garrett reacts to pain, when I know he's probably pretty perpetually in pain. So if that guy's in that kind of pain, what the hell does that kind of eye gouge feel like?
Mike Ryan
Flop.
Lucy
Everyone has their weak area. Maybe that's just his weak area.
Mike Ryan
I was watching. I thought he had a visor on his helmet, too. I was like, there's no way a finger got in there.
Billy
I think he came back on the field with a vis.
Mike Ryan
With a visor. I'm not certain there wasn't already a visor there. That was a flop. If I've ever seen. He was Dan. He was acting like his eyeball fell out of his head and someone cut off his foot simultaneously. Like, how did that happen?
Stugotz
I do not believe he was faking it. How can you call Miles Garrett a flopping faker? How can you do that with a straight face?
Mike Ryan
I didn't say that.
Stugotz
You did say that.
Mike Ryan
I said, happy birthday.
Stugotz
You.
Jessica
The only thing he said.
Stugotz
You continue to say things creaming in here from God Bless Football after doing We Good, I don't know if any game involving Jameis Winston you can skip past because it's just so great to watch him do the sloppiest thing every time. And why would you throw that again, Jamis, into the end zone for an interception when we basically eradicated that play from football. Everyone knows to get a field goal there. We are now shocked by all red zone turnovers, and Jamis is just like, no, I'm going to play like I did four years ago. I've learned nothing from 30 touchdowns, 30 interceptions, 5,000 yards. We went 7 and 9. They replaced me with Tom Brady, they immediately win the Super Bowl.
Billy
It's going to be a rough hard knocks for Jameis on Tuesday night. Getting benched at the end of that game for dtr. Season's over for the Browns. Has been for three months. Week one. Is that when it ended, you say? But it was entertaining for a minute, Billy. You can't pretend like it wasn't entertaining for the last.
Jessica
But, yes, I like you as the person who declares when someone's season is officially over.
Billy
The Dolphins season ended week two, Thursday.
Stugotz
You know what, Jessica? I am here for you, being commissioner of that character, because I will tell you something. When she says when a season is actually over, I want to, as we now, bury this Dolphin season, I would. Although they're still in the mix.
Jessica
They are, Colt.
Stugotz
Schedule is easy down the road.
Billy
Hang on a second. What did Greg Cody call the Texans? Very, very good.
Lucy
Far from. Very, very, very far from being a good team, I believe.
Billy
Oh, okay. So what does that make the Dolphins then?
Stugotz
That's correct.
Mike Ryan
That's Tyreek Hill's fault. Yeah.
Stugotz
Yes. Tyreek Hill might be washed.
Mike Ryan
Might be.
Stugotz
They're 14 games in on. Blow it all up. They are six and eight. And we have just lived over the last two months. As soon as Tua got hurt, our season's over. Ah. Oh. Beat the Rams. Rams are pretty good. We're going to get close in there. We're going to be close to 500. If Jessica wants to announce when the season's over, this is what I want to ask her. I'm watching the Giants yesterday and I'm like, seriously? Boyle? Really? Tim Boyle said the same thing. No, no, but wait, wait, wait, wait.
Jessica
So Veto got hurt.
Stugotz
No. Yes. We're in the portion of the proceedings of Giants football where they don't just bail on Daniel Jones. But that's right. That's right. Well, DeVito got hurt is where we are in the season. And so now Boyle's in the game. When was their season over? When was the Giants season over?
Billy
During offseason. Hard knocks. When they got rid of Saquon and Drew Lock, I think was the emergency third string quarterback. But they mentioned during the broadcast that he was in a walking boot all week. So if Tim Boyle.
Mike Ryan
He had a Thanksgiving. Drew Lock. Let's not pretend he didn't have a Thanksgiving Day game.
Stugotz
Put it on the poll. Did Drew Locke have a Thanksgiving.
Billy
My family ate during. Did dinner during that game. Billy. I think America ate dinner during that game.
Mike Ryan
He got him right back in that day. You made a Competitive. It was, you know, it was a Cowboys but got him competitive. Did you see Skylar Thompson got released?
Stugotz
Also, Jessica did not know what to do with your genuine enthusiasm about being able to spit. Drew Locke had a Thanksgiving.
Jessica
It was three weeks ago.
Stugotz
It's you. The fact that Billy just careened into you there. Jessica, with genuine enthusiasm, wanting to talk Thanksgiving. Drew Locke football. I appreciate why it is that would knock you off kilter. It's just so weird that there all of a sudden Billy cares deeply about football.
Mike Ryan
He did have one 66% completion.
Jessica
Put it on the poll Thanksgiving.
Stugotz
Let's not pretend Drew Locke didn't have a Thanksgiving. Yes.
Mike Ryan
Zero touchdowns, one interception. That rushing touchdown, though.
Stugotz
All right, Jessica, now I would be understanding if a Steeler fan came to me today and said one game on the road, those are tough. We are still as good as Philadelphia. But that game right there is why I think Pittsburgh is not a real thing.
Billy
I mean, that's fine. But also George Pickens was out. Like they also had a couple like big time injuries on defense. I think the thing with the Steelers all season is like, yeah, they're probably not as good as the Bills. They beat the Ravens. So I think you can say they can compete with the Ravens and beat them again, which they will play them this Sunday. But yeah, they have, they have games like that. That was like the most quintessential Pittsburgh Steelers road game where they were pretty flat in the first quarter. Then they started playing really well, had a chance to tie it late. Najee Harris fumbles it. They had two possessions in the second half of that game. That fumble was the game in the red zone and that was it. They weren't able to score and Philadelphia took a lead and then just ran out the clock.
Stugotz
Fumble was that Fumble was the game. They're down 17 was terrible. And yeah, it's just a routine pitch and the game falls apart for them.
Billy
But this is the problem, this is sort of the problem with the Steelers going to the trade deadline was they need another wide receiver. They got Mike Williams. He hasn't played a lot for them. He had one really great touchdown a few weeks ago in the first game that they had him for. But with Pickens out with the hamstring or whatever it is, the offense, they don't have that deep threat that is going to be a game changer for them. So yeah, it's tough for them to go downfield without him.
Stugotz
Well, when you say deep threat, I think, and I've erred in not getting to this before because I don't know how much Lucy cares about professional football, but I would think that anyone who cares about football, if I give them all of the information from the season and just sit them in front of the television set yesterday and say, watch this, watch Buffalo play Detroit. This is the top of the sport. It's the best it can be done. And the single biggest surprise for that from that game is not to me that Buffalo won the games to gotcha. It's like, oh, holy shit. I didn't know anybody could do that to the Detroit offensive line. I didn't know there was a. I thought Detroit was going to be able to run the football against Buffalo. Buffalo's defensive line, and now Ed Oliver is just knocking your center over and bothering you in the middle of the field. And all of a sudden Goff looks like the guy. Oh, look there they. It's not. Dan Campbell's just going to punch you in the face and all rhythm and stuff. And then this team's got a Centaur, an MVP as their quarterback. And Buffalo can just gallop up and down the field on anybody in the sport.
Jessica
Last three games, Josh Allen, 17 touchdowns, no turnovers, no sacks. That's incredible.
Lucy
It's the best stretch of quarterback I've ever seen. And I know you're going to do the thing of getting like caught up in the moment, like you did it a few handful of years ago with Aaron Rodgers. Like, what I'm seeing right now, I've never seen better than what Josh Allen is doing the last few weeks.
Stugotz
It's the thing that I see in his expertise that is really wonderful to see is darts all over the place to Kincaid. And then you've got these tight ends just catching the ball with one hand and it's because they're wide open and he's a little less precise. We've got a whole history of him throwing the ball a little bit inaccurately.
Jessica
Yes.
Stugotz
And so I know. And so there are. Sometimes he will miss a wide open guy and you're like, oh, the arm's too big. And it's like, I'm now used to every damn throw is this surgically precise that sometimes Josh's arm is too big and he just gallops to the right, throws it 40 yards downfield to a wide open tight end and oh, he might have thrown it a yard too far. It's going to require one handed catch because they're playing a different sport than everyone else is playing like. And their defensive line wrecked an offensive line that I did not think could be wrecked like that. And Detroit scored 42. Anyway.
Unknown
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Chris Cody
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Mike Ryan
Terms apply Don LeBatard all right, we.
Lucy
Gotta go back out there. That was big. Wake him up.
Stugotz
Uh oh, he doesn't want. He doesn't want to be bothered anymore. Now it's getting tense because he didn't need that. As a result, he needs something that happened.
Lucy
Can we bother? Are we bothering you right now?
Stugotz
Turn on your microphone. My microphone's on St. Guts.
Lucy
Paint the scene.
Stugotz
The paint the scene is. I gotta go to work. Good night.
Mike Ryan
This is the Dan Levitar show with the Stugats.
Jessica
I do wonder when the Bills and I agree with Chris and I feel like it's Josh Allen's time. But they give up 30 points regularly. And the Chiefs never give up 30 points. The Chiefs haven't given up 30 points in a game in 35 games. Like think about that for a second. I do wonder if the Bills have enough to get past the Chiefs. Meaning the Chiefs are going to score on that Bill's defense, right? I'm not certain how many points the Bills are going to score on that Chiefs defense.
Stugotz
I just can't believe we've lived long enough for the Mahomes offense. You all can. You already can see how Kansas City wins a game against Buffalo. They keep the ball all game with Mahomes running on third and four for five yards. They do the 17 play drive. That's how you used to beat them years ago, Stugotts. Now they're the offense that needs the 17 play drive so that Josh Allen Never gets on the field.
Mike Ryan
Why are you so convinced that the Chiefs are going to score on the Bills? Like, what confidence do you have in the Chiefs offense this year? Because, like, now we don't even know what's going on with Patrick Mahomes.
Jessica
It's not so much the confidence I have in the Chiefs offense, it's a lack of confidence I have in the Bills defense. That's all. That's all I'm saying. That's it. Like, the Chiefs offense has not been great. And you're right, but the Bills defense also has not been great.
Mike Ryan
Thing about defense, Dan, is that it wins championships. So while this is fun for the Bills, it's going to be interesting to see if they can make a deep playoff run when they're giving up 40 points a game.
Stugotz
The weird thing about what the game does to the body that would make Billy whisper under his breath, Tyreek Hill is washed. And we've seen, we've watched it. It's been amazing to watch what the Kansas City offense was when it ran through Tyreek Hill and how the field keeps getting shrunk in a way that eats up the physical bodies of Travis Kelce and Patrick Mahomes. And they can't score 30 anymore. They used to be a team. It wasn't that long ago. Stugatz, I would have bet every. Over every game that they were going to SC30. Yes, they've done it against Carolina this year. And what. Who else? One other team this year.
Lucy
The Bucks.
Stugotz
The Bucks. And now Mahomes is limping and now you want him to win a playoff game against Galloping Centaur.
Mike Ryan
They're going to. You know they're going to. They always do. Somehow, you know they're going to. I don't know how. I don't know why. You know they're going to. And you know Carson Wentz is going to play a role in one of these games, too.
Jessica
Oh, yeah.
Lucy
Not again. Not against this Josh Allen. Not this time. Not this time. Not if he keeps playing the way he's been playing. Dude, this team is scary. Josh Allen down. He's like smirking on the sideline. He has this confidence about him.
Jessica
Like he knows he's going to win the Super Bowl.
Mike Ryan
His face, man.
Jessica
Now, there are certain teams throughout NFL.
Mike Ryan
History, you know, it gives you something.
Jessica
It makes you smile better, you know, it's their time. And I'm kind of with Chris here. It's Buffalo's time. I knew it in 86 with the Giants at Phil Sims. I knew it was Their time. It was their time. Well, you knew it as well.
Mike Ryan
Last week you said that the. You said that the Chiefs were going to stop Josh Allen from ever winning anything. And McDermott, he was never going to win with him. And it's because Patrick Mahomes going to keep him from ever winning anything.
Jessica
This guy is so good. I'm telling you, he has the ability to overcome his head coach.
Stugotz
Okay, Stugott, I am not. Look, I know you want to get all your takes off, and I know you weren't listening at all to what it is that Billy tried to sneak in the shadows there, but happy birthday. No, Billy saying, I don't know what it is about Josh Allen's face, it just makes me want to smile. Is a 180 degree reversal from where he was as a Dolphin fan when he was shouting and yelling, josh Allen has a stupid face. And then I want to put up billboards in Buffalo, Josh Allen has a stupid face. And Billy doesn't want to do that. He befriends Josh Allen. And right now the Bills are fertilizing the end of whatever the Dolphins were building to beat them like they crushed the division before any other team. And as long as Josh Allen is healthy, he beats you every time that he plays you. And now he's blossoming into this thing that doesn't have turnovers, that is well protected, that his offensive line protects him. The no sacks thing, the no turnovers thing, it's kind of giant for how they play football.
Billy
By fertilizing, you mean they're pooping on it?
Stugotz
That's what I meant.
Billy
Okay. Everyone was confused. I thought. I thought it was like a manure reference. That's. You're a writer.
Stugotz
Well, here's your birthday. Yeah, but thank you. Here's. What happened was you're not dead. I had already forgotten. This is what happened. I'll be totally honest, totally vulnerable here on my 56th birthday as I get old, Chris Cody told me immediately before the show, please no cursing for some reason or be judicious with it. And right out of the box, for some reason I cursed. And then I now have that word echoing for the last three minutes back from when I said it. And now I wanted. I did want to defecate there and I wanted to say it, but I went fertilizer. And fertilizer grows stuff. And so I just got tangled up in the ways I was gonna say that. Because, Billy, look, I gotta be honest, right? Stugotts went straight into, I'm here for my Monday Takes. I got so many of them, I just got an hour's worth on God Bless Football, but let me skid in here and get all my takes out here. And he just steamrolled Billy, admitting that he has turned 180 on how he used to feel about Josh Allen.
Jessica
I acknowledge it. I told him, that's better. I mean, it is, right? We're trying to grow a relationship. Billy said to me, Dan and I agree with him after we recorded God Bless Football that the football season has been tough on our bodies.
Stugotz
So this is ridiculous.
Jessica
I'm hurting it.
Mike Ryan
I mean, it's. Dan, it's a grind. Fifteen weeks in, it just don't feel the same.
Stugotz
All right, so you guys, let me. I just want to be clear on.
Unknown
My arm hurts.
Stugotz
All right, let me. All right, I'd like to see if.
Mike Ryan
I think I have a thing.
Stugotz
Yeah, okay. Let me. Let me. Let me see if I have this right. I just want to be clear. Are you telling me that what Meadowlark Media just produced with the award winning God Bless Football was Stu got and Billy, 15 weeks into three months of collision, saying their bodies hurt covering football because they have to keep driving into the studio to talk about football?
Mike Ryan
It's a lot. Yeah, it is. Honestly, I've been feeling it since Thanksgiving week, but I powered through. When Drew locks playing that Thanksgiving Day, and you're trying to convince yourself he had a good game. Then you come in, there's. Then there's a Black Friday game, and then there's big Saturday games and Sunday night, and then Monday, you're like, oh, boy, this is wear and tear on my body. I'm not sure I was used to.
Jessica
If you don't think coming up with takes for Drew Locke, Dan, hurts your body, impacts your body. You don't know football.
Stugotz
Jessica, Jessica, when was the Dolphin season over? We've talked. I mean, Chris, can we. Can we now? I mean, I've told Billy. I told him Green Bay is a show me something game. Houston's a show me something game. Beat somebody. Beat somebody.
Billy
Oh, no. You got Thursday night, Hard Rock Tua gets hurt. That was when the season ended. I was there. It was so hot out. That's how long ago it was. It was still summertime, Dan. It was terrible.
Mike Ryan
How dumb are we all, by the way? Like, just us as like a football viewing public and just like a society where everyone was like, man, the jets and the Dolphins. I don't know if the Bills are going to overcome any of this. Okay, well, that's how the season started.
Billy
Some of us were not on that wavelength before the season started.
Mike Ryan
Diggs leaving. I mean, I mean this team may unravel.
Billy
Some of us knew that the Jet situation was going to be a disaster.
Stugotz
Jessica, I think you would be right to say that you and Lucy, but all of you really have endured unendingly lopsided Miami football talk that ends again another season with Here we go. Look, we don't even get to the cold December games that they break your heart because they can't play in the cold this year.
Billy
Dan. It's the easiest lane in the world for me to be like, haha, all the Miami sports teams suck. They're all going to lose. Because every year, even when they look like they, oh maybe they'll be actually kind of decent and I'm going to be eating humble pie at the. No. Something stupid happens. They lose to Syracuse.
Mike Ryan
Hey.
Billy
Or to get.
Mike Ryan
Butler is going to play every game this year.
Billy
It's the easiest in the world for me to carve out because this city has so many stinker football teams. I'm sorry, I wish. No, I don't wish they were good. I actually, I actually do have personal animosity towards all of them.
Lucy
You guys know there's only been three starting quarterbacks to win the AFC east this century. And it's Tom Brady, Josh Allen and Chad Pennington.
Jessica
I love that he did it for.
Lucy
Two teams, the Dolphins and the Jets.
Stugotz
Yes.
Lucy
It's the only way they could win.
Stugotz
It is kind of amazing that we've lived years of Ryan Tannehill and years of Chris Greer and that Buffalo team that went 17 years without making the playoffs is now running roughshod over the league because their quarterback, who I once thought was terrible and said would never be an NFL quarterback because he was again, I keep saying it because I don't think people understand how ridiculous it is. It was a playoff game against Houston. His fullback was double covered 40 yards downfield and he threw an interception. I'm like, they don't play football like that anymore. The way that you're doing it. They don't. That's Jameis Winston. Aaron Rodgers developed a new way to play. You do not turn the ball over. Like that's not. The Green Bay packers have a ball meeting every week. Like the whole sport is around. Like do not lose the football. And then there's a guy dropping. Two guys dropping it yesterday before the end zone and three guys punching it out. Cuz what we're watching is ridiculous. It's. It is. It is so Violent. That again, I skip past Dubose because we're all horrified. Right? This is. Or are you less horrified because it's not one of the guys that you've heard of or one of the guys.
Jessica
Oh, I was horrified. I mean, it was. That was tough to watch all of it. Yeah. Seeing the players, whenever you have the two teams and they're praying and they're praying together. Yeah, that was. That was an ugly situation. Everyone had to be horrified by that.
Stugotz
But before you guys came in here, I was working on the character of horror, horrified football fan who's watching Tua dive head first in the open field. Because you cannot tell me, Billy, that we're not watching him differently than we are every single other player who's playing football on Saturdays and Sundays, that there is no player. You are watching football and yelling, what are you doing? Don't dive head first into anybody.
Jessica
He had that pick six. He got out of the way.
Mike Ryan
You saw that he did do that. Yeah. Here's the thing about Tua. When he goes on scrambles and he dive head first, you're like, man, this guy is just never going to learn. He's never going to learn until he throws the pick six. And you're like, look, he learned. I mean, it didn't end up being a pick six. They stopped it. But still you're like, he learned. Look, he didn't go and try to throw his head into someone's knee for some reason.
Jessica
That was a big play by at the time for hustling back and getting him down before he scored a touchdown. But Tua was the closest guy and clearly wanted nothing to do with it.
Mike Ryan
Can I ask you a question about the injury real quick? Just because I was wondering, and I think that. And this is, like, a horrible admission, but I feel like we all kind of feel this right when the injury happened. So you see both teams are there and everybody's praying, and then they do, like, the crowd shots because they don't want to show the injury over and over again. Like, the crowd is, like, initially concerned, and then, like, what else do we show? This is taking, like, a long time. We're like, 12 minutes into this game stoppage. We don't know what to show. So they keep showing, like, the crowd shots. And as, like, every time they go and they show the crowd, the crowd quickly transformed from, like, really concerned to, like, then, like, antsy to then, like, annoyed, to then, like, get this guy the F off the field. I want to watch more football and hopefully no one else gets hurt. And then they keep showing them, like, guys, pick it up. We got to get this game going again. Like, you lose the crowd very quickly on these. And you can see it as the crowd shots keep going back to the fans.
Stugotz
Billy, there is such a cool thing that you just reminded me of yesterday that I'd forgotten of, forgotten about. Because Scott Hansen is great in the middle of all of this. His energy level for seven hours, it's hard to keep it where he keeps it, given the intensity of. Everybody's excited about everything that's going on. Like where we are. When Lucy says she's addicted to TikTok. What Sundays are just sort of an overriding flow of stimulus because you've just got so much action, gambling action and other action on things that are happening all over the field.
Jessica
Hansen's body has to be hurting.
Mike Ryan
Oh, my God.
Stugotz
Scott Hansen, yesterday is doing calls and he's getting excited because as he's talking, talking about and as we go out to Baltimore, you know, somebody. Mark Andrews could set the record for Ravens touchdowns with a catch here. And then it happens as he's throwing it to that. And so he meets that, like that moment with giddiness that he just got at that game and called the play that was the record breaking play while stopping and going to other games. But he stopped dead in his tracks while calling highlights when he was seeing for the first time the footage of somebody, a bare torso being stretchered out, immobilized. He stopped in the frenzy of sprinting on the broadcasting treadmill, of going from game to game, being excited about everything because he's in the middle of like this torrent of American Sunday action. Like dancing on piano keys, broadcasting. Because people are complaining on that channel. Stugots. We're so addicted. I see them. A commercial snuck in there. I saw a commercial sneak in from some other game.
Lucy
They were on the split screen and one of the games, the games went to commercial and they kept the sound on the commercial for like eight seconds. Yeah, I was just like, what is happening around here?
Mike Ryan
I like it when it happens, because then I'm like, huh, Scott Hansen, you're not better than me.
Lucy
You think Scott Hansen gets the Saturday scaries? You know, like before his big work day? Good question. Even though it's a fun job, a lot of people would want. It's stressful.
Jessica
Work day is the key word day. I mean, I think he does other.
Lucy
Things throughout the week.
Billy
Red Zone does have ads now. They do have, like, ad things that they'll put up on the screen. It's not ad free anymore.
Stugotz
I think people are just learning that, though, from what I can see in terms of what's happening on the Internet and commentary. People like complaining about things with their broadcasts. And we've gotten to a place in streaming that we want the stuff all undistilled. You can't give people no commercials and then give them commercials once we get used to no commercial because. And by the way, all of this exists for the commercials. A problematic position for the streaming companies because they're going to need to put commercials in so that we can all afford all the things we're fighting over.
Lucy
They do. They've just started that where in the last few years, all of a sudden it was, you were paying one price and you didn't have commercials. And then it's, hey, if you don't want commercials now, you have to double the price. And if you pay the same price, well, you're going to get commercials now. And all of us went, okay, well, how much can I afford? And then it's seven different streaming services.
Billy
And they're not doing it because they need the money. They're doing it because they can know you're going to pay and they can make ad revenue from it. One thing that I discovered on googling facts about the super bowl this year. Do you guys know this is super bowl lax? Super bowl licks.
Jessica
Wow.
Lucy
Licking it.
Billy
Super bowl licks in New Orleans.
Stugotz
I did not know. How do we get this off the ground? I'm just noticing this for the first time, one of the Super Bowls.
Billy
Super bowl licks.
Stugotz
That's pretty good.
Jessica
Yeah.
Billy
It's like when super bowl live was in Miami and everyone was like, we're gonna go to live after Super Bowl Live. What do you do after super bowl licks in New Orleans?
Jessica
You're right.
Stugotz
There is a whole ad campaign that we can do around that. Scott Hansen got so comfortable yesterday. That stuff in that Colts Broncos game, which shouldn't be any way interesting because neither of those teams are going anywhere. Get into the playoffs. You will win nothing. Teams both out of my way. Wow.
Jessica
I think Denver's pretty good anyway. I do, too.
Stugotz
But not quite good enough. And yesterday they won because Jonathan Taylor. Jonathan Taylor. Jonathan Taylor.
Jessica
Yeah.
Stugotz
Is dropping the ball before the goal line. And I'm like, you have to be kidding me. There's no way this is still happening in this league. There's no way that people fight this hard for the touchdowns and then can't still hold it for another half yard. How is that possible that Jonathan Taylor has to get to the preening in the middle of that game. One of the things that changed is, holy shit. The Colts are doing some sort of fancy razzle dazzle where they throw it back to Richardson and it's picked off. And Hansen, Hansen yells, you know, because Nick Benitos is the one who had a pick six there. And he jumps into the end zone by the goal line like Marshawn lynch grabbing his balls. And Scott Hansen says, you can't grab the bonitos. That's a penalty. That's going to be a penalty. I didn't know that grabbing the bonitos was a penalty. Is it now a penalty?
Jessica
It's a penalty.
Stugotz
Yeah, always. Because I've seen that done at the goal line just as much as I've seen guys drop the ball at the half yard line.
Jessica
So the refs got together and you could see them smiling and laughing because he's like, hey, how do I deliver this, this penalty? But it's a penalty. How do I say it to the crowd? And they settled on something. It was funny, though, to see them laughing about it.
Lucy
It was like, inappropriate gesture.
Jessica
Yeah.
Stugotz
So again, it's. Again, it's okay, Mark. So for history's purposes, Marshawn lynch breaks the biggest run and most violent run in the history of the sport. Breaks 11 tackles, runs through the end zone. And we all agree that the point when he dives backwards and grabs his balls. Yeah, you deserve that. You should have done it. Enjoy yourself.
Jessica
Yeah, you did.
Stugotz
You ran through 11 people. And since then, people have copycatted it. I just didn't know it had become a legitimate NFL jurisdiction.
Billy
You can't do anything sexual. Even though they're going to name the Super Bowl, super bowl licks. You can't do anything sexual.
Lucy
When you celebrate, it would be funny to see the ref do the personal, personal foul and then he like mimics what he did.
Billy
Did you guys see the ref this weekend do that salute to the. Salute to the military before the unnecessary roughness penalty?
Lucy
What was the reasoning for that? What was the backstory on that?
Dan Le Batard
He just, like did it and then he pointed. It was like another necessary roughness on like a kickoff or something. And then pointed to the wrong team and like the wrong side. So he like made this big deal to salute and everyone. And it was so funny because all the comments were like, well, it's Army Navy. No, it wasn't. That was not the Army Navy game.
Stugotz
Lucy, you sat out. I don't know why you did. Billy and Stugott saying Aggressive that. Fifteen weeks into the NFL, I was so mad. Their bodies hurt because they've been on the couch.
Mike Ryan
It does hurt. I'm not gonna lie.
Stugotz
No, but Lucy. Lucy has been on planes for. She has not been home very much. She is flying a lot.
Dan Le Batard
16 straight weeks. I try to abide by the if you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all. And I had some very not nice things to say. I'm so tired.
Stugotz
Get over it, Lucy.
Jessica
We did two plane trips. We did. And a trip to Dolphin Mall, which really, I think that's where it started for me.
Mike Ryan
Three if you count opening kickoff.
Lucy
Wait, Lucy does God bless with you guys too? On Mondays I do. So she does all her traveling.
Mike Ryan
And sometimes it's from Zoom, though.
Dan Le Batard
I'm from Charlotte airport to the Miami airport, two awful airports, and I live an hour and a half from the airport. So I have to drive an hour and a half to the worst airport ever to fly to the other worst airport ever.
Billy
And guess what?
Dan Le Batard
I fly American. And they never have live TV on the planes. They never do. And sometimes they don't even have wifi on the planes. You can't even watch a movie.
Stugotz
What's up with that?
Billy
Dolphin Mall.
Dan Le Batard
But you're tired.
Stugotz
So am I. Wow, you really ran Jessica off the road there with your rage.
Dan Le Batard
I'm not mad at her. You're lovely, Jessica.
Chris Cody
Please continue.
Billy
Lucy. I miss you.
Dan Le Batard
I miss you.
Billy
Sad.
Unknown
Howdy, folks. It's Mike. And guess what? It's Miller Time. The holiday season brings around lots of joy and also lots of family. Lots of family gatherings at your home. You're inviting people in there and you want to make sure they're happy. Why don't you make their time at your place? A Miller Time. Pass around that beautiful white can of triple hops. Brood Miller Light and watch the smile adorn those faces. Make Miller Light the official drink. The official beverage of your holiday get together. You know why? Because it is a perfect beer for the holiday season. You'll take a sip, you'll look around and you'll think immediately, yeah, I made the right call. It's got tastes that you can depend on. No games, no gimmicks. Just great beer. For people who like beer. Making memories at year end gatherings. Tastes like Miller Time time. Go to millerlite.com dan to find delivery options near you. Or you can pick up some Miller Lite pretty much anywhere they sell beer. Celebrate responsibly. Miller Brewing Co. Milwaukee, Wisconsin. 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces fewer calories and carbs than premium regular beer.
Jessica
How do you feel when you switch to Geico and save on your car insurance? It's like going to work on Thursday morning and thinking to yourself, just one more until Friday. But then somebody walks into the elevator.
Lucy
And says, happy Friday.
Jessica
Then you check your phone quickly and discover today is actually Friday. So yes, Happy Friday. Random stranger in the elevator. Happy Friday indeed. Yep, switching and saving with Geico feels just like that. Get more with Geico.
Summary of "Local Hour: You're Not Dead! You're Not Dead!"
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Release Date: December 16, 2024
In the December 16, 2024 episode of The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz, hosts Dan Le Batard and Stugotz dive deep into a variety of sports topics, with a particular emphasis on the NFL season's progress, player performances, and broadcasting dynamics. The episode, titled "Local Hour: You're Not Dead! You're Not Dead!", features lively discussions, humorous banter, and insightful commentary from the hosts and their co-hosts, including Billy, Lucy, and Jessica.
The episode kicks off with the hosts engaging in playful banter about Jessica getting her lips painted, highlighting the show's signature humor and camaraderie.
A significant portion of the episode focuses on the proposed TikTok ban and its personal impact on the hosts. Stugotz expresses concern over the potential loss of the platform, emphasizing its addictive nature.
Dan shares a personal goal to watch all TikToks before the app potentially gets banned, reflecting his attachment to the platform.
The hosts humorously discuss the Pop-Tart Bowl, poking fun at its name despite being a prestigious bowl game.
They collectively tease Mike Ryan about the Pop-Tart Bowl, adding a lighthearted touch to the conversation.
A substantial segment is dedicated to analyzing the performance of NFL teams, particularly focusing on the Miami Dolphins, Buffalo Bills, and key players like Josh Allen and Tyreek Hill.
The hosts express frustration over the Dolphins' inconsistent performance and contrast it with the rising prowess of the Bills.
Josh Allen of the Bills is lauded for his exceptional play, with discussions highlighting his efficiency and leadership.
Stugotz admires Allen's transformation and consistency, noting the team's optimistic outlook as long as Allen remains healthy.
Tyreek Hill's performance is scrutinized, with debates on his current form and impact on the Dolphins.
The hosts delve into the challenges faced by broadcasters like Scott Hansen, who must balance high-energy calls with unexpected on-field events, such as player injuries.
They also touch upon the increasing presence of commercials in live broadcasts and the evolving landscape of streaming services.
Throughout the episode, the hosts share personal anecdotes, including celebrations like birthdays and the challenges of travel.
Stugotz humorously addresses birthday greetings and the fatigue from constant travel and broadcasting duties.
As the episode winds down, the hosts continue their spirited discussions, balancing in-depth sports analysis with humorous exchanges. They reflect on the toll the NFL season takes on both players and broadcasters, emphasizing the physical and mental challenges involved.
The episode concludes with light-hearted interactions, maintaining the show's engaging and entertaining atmosphere.
Dan Le Batard [03:10]: "TikTok addiction. You are officially so addicted that if they take this thing from you, it is a source of stimuli."
Stugotz [03:26]: "I have a personal goal to watch all the tiktoks ever made before they get rid of the app."
Lucy [19:11]: "Last three games, Josh Allen, 17 touchdowns, no turnovers, no sacks. That's incredible."
Jessica [27:21]: "This guy is so good. I'm telling you, he has the ability to overcome his head coach."
Mike Ryan [25:12]: "Why are you so convinced that the Chiefs are going to score on the Bills? Like, what confidence do you have in the Chiefs offense this year?"
The "Local Hour: You're Not Dead! You're Not Dead!" episode of The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz offers a comprehensive and entertaining exploration of current sports narratives, particularly within the NFL. Through a blend of humor, critical analysis, and personal insights, the hosts deliver a rich and engaging discussion that captures the essence of South Florida's sports scene and beyond. For listeners and fans, this episode provides valuable perspectives and lively debates that resonate with both avid sports enthusiasts and casual followers.