Local Hour: Zaslow Is Back, Jack

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz

Episode: Local Hour: Zaslow Is Back, Jack
Date: April 3, 2026
Hosts: Dan Le Batard, Stugotz, Zaslow, Mike Ryan, Roy

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Episode Overview

Recorded live from the Elser Hotel in Downtown Miami, this “Local Hour” episode celebrates the return of Zaslow from vacation and dives into the group’s signature blend of South Florida sports, pop culture, and comedic banter. Zaslow’s idiosyncratic travel stories set the tone, while the crew riff on everything from NCAA drama and MLB rule changes to moon conspiracies, stadiums, and airport “hacks.” This episode is packed with South Florida flavor, running commentary on current sports news, and plenty of classic Le Batard Show inside jokes.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Zaslow Returns – Vacation Debacles and Family Oddities

[01:23 – 08:25]

• Cutting Vacations Short:
  Zaslow admits, “I cut my vacation a day early,” prompting the crew to tease him for frequently leaving trips prematurely.

  • “Your family is okay with you doing that?” – Dan [02:24]
  • Zaslow reveals he left his older son at home this time, and their intended ski trip to Vail was ruined by the worst snow conditions ever.

• Ski Culture and Fly Fishing:
  The team questions whether Zaslow truly skis. Zaslow describes Vail alternatives (“We did ATVs… did some of that fly fishing” – [03:37]).

  • Humorous debate over fishing photos and gear:
    • “You had to rent the deal, right?” – Stugotz [04:14]
    • “You look like an undercover cop while fishing.” – Mike Ryan [06:25]
  • Zaslow shares his lost luggage ordeal (lost both going to and returning from Vail) and teases about not bringing his usual wrestling shirts:
    • “What are you gonna do without your Hitman Hart shirt?” – Stugotz [07:35]
    • Zaslow: “I didn’t bring any wrestling shirts… not long sleeves!” [07:43]

• Memorable Moment:
  The group digs at Zaslow’s supposedly “weird vacation family,” with affectionate sarcasm and classic show chemistry.

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2. Zaslow’s “Top 5 Things You May Have Missed”

[08:08 – 20:02]

• Quick List Format, Sports Highlights from Zaslow:
  1. UConn Beats Duke at the Buzzer:
     • The team recaps the wild finish and discusses kids making mistakes under tournament pressure.
     • “They’re kids… you can’t judge it…” – Mike Ryan [09:30]
  2. Marlins Hot Start: 5 and 1 Record:
     • Mike Ryan and Dan surprisingly admit enjoying baseball due to sport’s new pace.
     • “You have one beer, all of a sudden it’s the fourth inning!” – Stugotz [11:25]
  3. Tiger Woods Accident:
     • Bizarre social media memes and Tiger’s reputation. Roy: “The ET memes, dog.” [12:38]
     • Playful theorizing about who Tiger calls after accidents (“The president… could be the homeowners association.” – Roy [16:45])
     • “That is such a douche move.” – Zaslow [17:24]
  4. Jaden Ivey Incident:
     • “We ran that one into the ground.” – Mike Ryan [19:44]
  5. Artemis II Moon Mission:
     • Much mockery about Artemis and the purpose of modern moon exploration.
     • “Why are they going around? Why not just see what’s what?” – Zaslow [20:29]

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3. Artemis II & Moon Conspiracy Chatter

[20:13 – 26:42]

• Debating the Purpose and Value of Moon Missions:
  Dan summarizes NASA's plans: “The plan is to build a nuclear reactor on the moon. Okay, this is not a fake thing.” [20:50]

• Threads (Social Media) Tangent:
  Crew segues into which accounts the algorithm recommends and how much time they spend “running to the comments” for Jamel Hill posts [21:54].

• Moon Landing Doubt & Conspiracies:

  • Stugotz wades into skepticism: “All I’m saying: 1969 we had the technology... It’s going to be really tough to get people on the moon now.” [24:59]
  • Mike Ryan: “Why haven’t we been back?… I’ve been to Switzerland. It was in 1998. I haven’t been back. Why haven’t you been back?” [26:20]

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4. Miami’s New Soccer Stadium & Stadium Chatter

[27:53 – 34:46]

• Driving Past Inter Miami’s New Stadium:

  • Zaslow describes construction chaos—"Ain’t a whole lot of parking”—prompting laughter for his “anal hole parking” verbal slip (multiple times, [29:03], [29:05], [29:24], [33:27]).
  • Discussion of whether the stadium will be ready; “It looks six months behind,” says Zaslow [29:37].

• Stadium Preferences & Nostalgia:

  • Consensus: smaller, more intimate stadiums are better for experience (USC’s Galen Center, Miami Arena).
  • Ranking famous stadiums' reputation vs. reality:
    • “Cameron Indoor? Dump.” – Mike Ryan [32:57]
    • “Madison Square Garden? Rat-infested dump.” – Mike Ryan [33:07]
    • “MetLife Stadium… A nothing. Looks like an air conditioning unit.” – Zaslow [34:42]
    • Fenway vs. Wrigley debate (Mike: “Fenway, thumbs down. Wrigley, thumbs up.” [34:50])

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5. Miami Airport & Travel Hacks, TSA Stories

[35:11 – 39:03]

• Airport Headaches:

  • Zaslow missed a 5 AM flight due to TSA Pre lines opening late (“TSA line didn’t open until 4:45. Missed flight. Straight up missed the flight.” – Zaslow [36:53])
  • Crew educates Zaslow on alternative security lines, signage, and airport hacks.
  • TSA Pre vs. Clear: lively debate on which is superior. “Clear is better with TSA… you should have both!” – Stugotz & Roy [37:29]

• Classic Marriage Humor:

  • Zaslow shares calming his panicked wife after missed flight:
    • “I specifically told her to calm down. And guess what? It worked. …It did not work.” [38:40–38:44]
    • “It’s one of the worst things you could ever say to a woman.” [38:46]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Zaslow’s family trips:
  • “Zazlow’s weird vacation family.” – Roy [02:22]
• Fly fishing debate:
  • “How do you look like an undercover cop while fishing?” – Mike Ryan [06:25]
• Tiger Woods “president” conversation:
  • “That is such a douche move.” – Zaslow [17:24]
• Moon mission skepticism:
  • “All I’m saying…1969, we had the technology, nice. And we put people on the moon.” – Stugotz [25:03]
• Stadium slip-ups:
  • “Ain’t a whole lot of parking.” (Zaslow, repeatedly, [29:03]…)
  • “MetLife Stadium…looks like an air conditioning unit.” – Zaslow [34:42]
• Travel wisdom:
  • “TSA line didn’t open till 4:45. Missed flight. Straight up missed the flight.” – Zaslow [36:53]
  • “I specifically told her to calm down…and guess what, it worked. …It did not work.” – Zaslow [38:40–38:44]

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:45–04:00: Zaslow’s vacation, Vail trip, fly fishing stories.
• 08:08–20:02: Zaslow’s “Top Five Things You May Have Missed”
• 20:13–26:42: Space talk—Artemis II, moon conspiracies, “why go back?”
• 27:53–34:46: Inter Miami’s new stadium, stadium debates, nostalgia.
• 35:11–39:03: Miami International Airport woes, TSA stories, marriage jokes.

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Tone & Takeaways

With their typical blend of sharp wit and regional flavor, the episode delivers both local sports-centric discussion and broader, relatable humor. Zaslow’s return gives the crew a launching pad for teasing, personal anecdotes, and a brisk rundown of sports news. The group’s banter covers everything from stadium architecture to the absurdities of TSA logistics, with enough self-deprecation and in-jokes to keep loyal listeners laughing.

For listeners who missed the episode:
You'll get all the highlights of Zaslow’s return, major (and not-so-major) recent sports headlines, and the Le Batard Show’s distinctive comedic group dynamic, all without needing to wade through sponsors, bumper music, or extended ad reads.

Transcript

[Dan Le Batard]

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[Mike Ryan]

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[Zaslow]

If we knew more about our sleep, what would we do differently? Would we go to bed at a consistent time or take steps to reduce

[Dan Le Batard]

interruptions to our sleep?

[Zaslow]

With sleepscore, Apple Watch measures your bedtime consistency with interruptions and sleep duration. Then every morning it combines these factors into an easy to understand score from 1 to 100. So you'll know how to take the quality of your sleep from okay to very high. Know your sleep score with Apple Watch. IPhone 11 or later required.

[Stugotz]

This is the Dan Levatar show with the Stugats podcast.

[Zaslow]

I'm back, baby.

[Mike Ryan]

Zaslo is back.

[Zaslow]

Jack, I'm back, baby. So I cut my vacation a day early.

[Stugotz]

Hey, you love doing that, by the way.

[Zaslow]

No, I don't.

[Stugotz]

You love doing that. You did it.

[Roy]

It's like the second time you've done it since you've been with our show.

[Stugotz]

Like North Carolina. You went to North Carolina or something.

[Zaslow]

Oh, well, that was. Needed me.

[Stugotz]

And then you came back.

[Zaslow]

Okay, Very family. Okay. Very fair observation. And obviously in North Carolina, my team needed me, the Panthers needed me. And I said, everybody, we're going home. And we got in the car, we packed up the car, we came home like two days early there because I had to get back home in time for Game 2.

[Roy]

But other than that, you never do it.

[Zaslow]

Other than that. And this time I never do it.

[Mike Ryan]

How many times have you done it? Absent those two times, I, I, well,

[Zaslow]

I don't know if my memory is going to serve me well enough because Tony said you do that all the time and I was very defiant and now I never do it. So I, the last two times though,

[Stugotz]

you have done it.

[Zaslow]

Right? So.

[Stugotz]

And then you sent your, your, your kid and your wife on a cruise

[Zaslow]

that you didn't go on well, this. This trip. We left my older son home. We didn't even bring him.

[Roy]

All right, I'm going to say it. Zazzle's weird vacation family.

[Dan Le Batard]

Do you think your family is okay with you doing that?

[Zaslow]

We left my older one home. Did not even bring him to this one. We didn't get to ski. I was in Vail. I mean, and we had never been to Vail. We were skiing family. This aslos. And we usually ski.

[Mike Ryan]

Yeah, we had a lot of questions about that.

[Zaslow]

What?

[Mike Ryan]

We took a straw poll the other day on the show, and most of us do not believe that you yourself are a skier. Maybe your family, but not you.

[Zaslow]

Well, you think I don't ski?

[Dan Le Batard]

I don't think Zaz is that weird for this. He is weird generally, but not for this. I'm not in ski culture. I don't even know how to. But a lot of people that have been going on ski trips have been really disappointed with the lack of snow. The conditions are not great for it.

[Zaslow]

I was told Vail had their worst winter ever.

[Dan Le Batard]

Yeah. My partner in Kanes Insight also cut his ski vacation short.

[Mike Ryan]

Was it late March?

[Dan Le Batard]

I mean, look, the timing wasn't great. And also.

[Zaslow]

Right.

[Dan Le Batard]

It was first spring practice with full pads on, so they want to get down here.

[Zaslow]

We. We normally go to Park City, and when we normally go in, like, December. Okay. We knew it was a gamble. We knew it was a gamble going at the end of March and trying. So we didn't get to ski.

[Mike Ryan]

So what. What is there to do in Vail if you're not skiing?

[Zaslow]

We did, like, other outdoor stuff, you know, like, we rented ATVs where. Where. You know, we. We took the ATVs up the mountain.

[Roy]

That's cool.

[Zaslow]

That was cool. You know, so we did ATVs, did some of that fly fishing. You know about fly fishing?

[Mike Ryan]

I don't know about.

[Roy]

It's difficult.

[Zaslow]

It's like a mosquito on. On the hook. And you. You. You cast it.

[Roy]

No shot. You caught anything?

[Zaslow]

Yeah, I did. I did catch.

[Stugotz]

We need pictures on it.

[Zaslow]

Okay, I'll. I'll send a picture of the video.

[Dan Le Batard]

So you put on, like, the overalls, right? And you went into the.

[Zaslow]

Yeah, yeah. Got the deal on? Yeah. Okay, I'm gonna get a picture of

[Dan Le Batard]

you wearing the deal.

[Zaslow]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're gonna see I'm wearing the deal.

[Stugotz]

You had to rent the deal, right?

[Zaslow]

No, no, we. We had. We had family who lives close by, and they had the deal, and they brought the deal over for me to

[Dan Le Batard]

Put on fishing family.

[Mike Ryan]

Do you guys ever see, like, those mall places that do family photos? And if you bring your toddler in and you could dress him up as a fly fisher, that's what I imagine him just shirtless, wear, wearing the deal.

[Dan Le Batard]

We'll say, like, a lot's been made of what Zaz looks like because of our tournament. He does look like someone who would enjoy fly fishing.

[Zaslow]

I did enjoy fly fishing. You know why? It's easy, man. I'm just standing there.

[Mike Ryan]

Isn't all fishing easy, is it?

[Dan Le Batard]

Wait, this one.

[Roy]

I thought. I thought of all the fishing. Fly fishing was like, you had to,

[Dan Le Batard]

like, Casting seems so involved. I've never been fly fishing, but I've seen people do it and, like, the. The casting process.

[Zaslow]

The only part of the fly fishing that that is, like, hard is you're standing like you're balancing on the really wet, slippery rocks, you know? I don't want to fall in. That's happened me before with fly fishing where I fell in and then I was freezing. I was very, very.

[Dan Le Batard]

How's your casting form?

[Zaslow]

It's fine, man.

[Dan Le Batard]

Like a video.

[Zaslow]

I'm practically a fisherman. All right.

[Dan Le Batard]

The perfect cast.

[Zaslow]

I just. I just uploaded the picture. Okay. And you can see I'm wearing the deal. Yeah. All right.

[Stugotz]

Anyway, so you're wearing the deal. But the thing is, the fly fishing rod is not like a regular fishing rod.

[Dan Le Batard]

It's got, like, a thing.

[Stugotz]

We had like, a pull it from one side and then cast it and

[Dan Le Batard]

pull it from the other side.

[Zaslow]

It's very similar. It's not as complicated as you're making it out to be. All right, but I take that you don't believe that I can ski. Why can't I ski?

[Mike Ryan]

The belief is that you're just. You don't have the physics of a skier. Right. Got a big ass head. Right. Soda drinker's body.

[Zaslow]

Yeah.

[Mike Ryan]

Like, all up on the slope. Like, I don't even think you could stand up straight. Wait, wait. Oh, here's a picture. No, that's not. That's just you holding a fish.

[Zaslow]

What do you mean? I caught the fish.

[Mike Ryan]

I wanted it. I wanted it, like, with the hook still in it.

[Zaslow]

Okay, well, you don't want to have the fish in pain, so you take the hook out. All right?

[Stugotz]

Fish don't feel pain by the way you hold up.

[Zaslow]

Well, you've asked one.

[Stugotz]

No, scientists have.

[Mike Ryan]

Chris did that one time.

[Zaslow]

And you see, I'm wearing the deal now. I took the suspenders down because, you know, I wasn't really feeling the suspenders. But I'm wearing the deal there. That's me, man. Like a fisherman.

[Mike Ryan]

How do you look? Like an undercover cop while fishing.

[Zaslow]

Whatever, man. Whatever.

[Mike Ryan]

Like, we got him.

[Stugotz]

He's offering something to me.

[Zaslow]

Like, I don't want that. So this has never happened to me before. And, like, I don't believe in jinxes, right? Oh, you say the things in something, you know, like. Like with my taxes and stuff like that, and with the. The jury duty, like, whatever. Come at me, bro. Like, nothing's going to happen. Okay. I don't believe in jinxes like that. I have never, ever lost my luggage. Traveling. It has happened on my way to Vale and now on my way back.

[Mike Ryan]

Lost or delayed?

[Zaslow]

Delayed. Well, right now it's lost because I don't have it. So they're calling it delayed. But my luggage was delayed on the way to Vail. Didn't have my. Had to leave the airport without any of our luggage. And right now, I got back yesterday, still don't have my luggage. Happened both ways.

[Mike Ryan]

Yeah. There's a feeling of simultaneous, like, oh, my God, what could have happened? What could have gone wrong? And also a freedom. I walk out of this airport a Freeman.

[Zaslow]

That part I kind of like. Instead of waiting at the bags and I get the email, my wife's like, all right, let's go home. So, yeah, all right, let's go home. And, you know, so they're. Apparently they're going to drive the bags to my home when they find them.

[Mike Ryan]

When they find them.

[Zaslow]

When they find.

[Stugotz]

What are you going to do without your hitman heart shirt?

[Zaslow]

I didn't bring it with me. That's a good question. That's a good question. I did not go to the closet

[Dan Le Batard]

and pick out another one.

[Zaslow]

Yeah, that's right. I didn't bring any wrestling shirts there with me because I don't have them in long sleeves. My wrestling shirts needed long sleeves, even though it wasn't every shirt I saw

[Dan Le Batard]

from you had short sleeves on.

[Zaslow]

Okay, you know, you're making observations here, and I don't have good comebacks in the last few minutes. Right. Why don't you take it down a notch?

[Stugotz]

I saw what you put on your Instagram ad, Zazlow, all right? Whatever it is that you are. And I was like, dude, he looks like he's in Hawaii. It's, like, sunny, and he's out there with a lot. With the nose.

[Dan Le Batard]

With no shirt.

[Roy]

Sunglasses.

[Stugotz]

Yeah.

[Zaslow]

Well, let me tell you something, right? So I was away. I was away for the past weekend. I don't know if you guys are aware, but a lot of things happen. I have a top five things that you all, while I was away, may have missed. You ready? Top five, you may have missed. Y' all ready for this?

[Mike Ryan]

Okay.

[Zaslow]

All right, here we go.

[Mike Ryan]

Do you have the fanfare ready?

[Zaslow]

Yep.

[Roy]

Born ready.

[Zaslow]

Number five. Did you guys see UConn beat Duke at the buzzer? Did you see that? Did you see the finish of that game? Did you know what happened?

[Mike Ryan]

Yeah, the slow report.

[Dan Le Batard]

Oh, I'm glad you brought it back because there was something that I discovered after we had that segment. Duke actually put out a video on their social of a former Duke basketball player in the pros. Now, it was like a late game situation. I think it was a sunset.

[Mike Ryan]

Oh, yeah, it was. It was a Bulls game. They were talk.

[Zaslow]

Jones.

[Dan Le Batard]

Yeah, Tyus Jones.

[Mike Ryan]

I think it was Tynes.

[Dan Le Batard]

Yeah, I think so too. And it was the exact same.

[Mike Ryan]

It was Tre Jones, his brother because he plays.

[Dan Le Batard]

It was the exact same situation. And Jones throws the ball up.

[Zaslow]

Oh, yeah.

[Dan Le Batard]

And Shire's like, this is how you. This is what you do. This is smart Duke basketball in this scenario. So maybe I was wrong in saying, like, I can't imagine that happening to a coach, K team. Maybe this is on Shire and not so much the Panic players.

[Mike Ryan]

That video is all. Is old. It's from like a couple of months ago.

[Dan Le Batard]

Right.

[Mike Ryan]

So again, I stressed on the day you weren't here when we talked about this. At the end of the day, Kaden Boozer, who's the one who threw the turnover, he's 18 years old. He's never seen anything like this in his life. So I'm like, you guys have to remember, like, you can't judge it with like, oh, you should have done this. It's like they're kids at the end of the day, you got to like something like that. If he had said it in the huddle, then that's one thing. But it's like a video from a couple months ago. That kid's not going to.

[Dan Le Batard]

I'm sure Kaden Boozer, I mean, he's in elite prospect. He's played a lot of big time travel basketball. He played at Columbus, even though those were a low.

[Zaslow]

It ain't that.

[Mike Ryan]

It ain't this, man.

[Dan Le Batard]

It ain't that. Is what you're saying. Because, like, I think in a vacuum, if you ask Boozer what you do in this scenario, he'd probably know. But that's when the moment is big.

[Zaslow]

It's one of the Fun things about the tournament where, you know, they're college kids. They're kids at the end of these games. It's like when the kid goes to the free throw line late in the game and they show he's 81%. So. Yeah, so.

[Mike Ryan]

Yeah, exactly.

[Zaslow]

So what? It's late in the game. All these kids can miss free throws.

[Mike Ryan]

All of that, like, clutchness that we see in the pros of guys stepping up to line. 81% makes both. It's like.

[Zaslow]

Right.

[Mike Ryan]

They made it. Cause they've been through these experiences before and had failures and learned and grown from it. And so this was real time. You're watching him experience this for the first time. Yeah. You're gonna make a mistake, man.

[Zaslow]

So you guys saw that.

[Stugotz]

What a games has.

[Zaslow]

All right.

[Stugotz]

What a games.

[Zaslow]

Just making sure. Cause I was like, man, I wonder if they know what happened. UConn. They beat Duke. All right, number four, you may have missed. The Marlins are 5 and 1.

[Mike Ryan]

What? Yeah.

[Dan Le Batard]

You know that in the time that you've been away. I like baseball now.

[Mike Ryan]

Yeah.

[Dan Le Batard]

Really?

[Roy]

Mike's backjack.

[Mike Ryan]

Mike went to a game recreationally.

[Dan Le Batard]

Yeah. I've been watching baseball all season long. They.

[Zaslow]

They all season.

[Dan Le Batard]

They fixed the sport.

[Mike Ryan]

Dude, wait a second. I went to a game recreationally. I went to a Marlins game this week.

[Dan Le Batard]

And how quick did that go?

[Mike Ryan]

It was amazing. It was fast.

[Zaslow]

Tony, you went too fast.

[Stugotz]

Too fast. Too fast?

[Mike Ryan]

Yeah.

[Stugotz]

Do you not agree with me? You have one beer, all of a sudden it's the fourth inning, you're like, what happened? I get. I have two beers in the game. That's it.

[Mike Ryan]

I'll be honest with you. I had a little bit more than two.

[Zaslow]

So you can't do the nine and nine trick anymore.

[Stugotz]

And it goes by two seconds.

[Mike Ryan]

You can, but it's at your hazard.

[Zaslow]

Okay. You're having to catch a ride home.

[Dan Le Batard]

I genuinely had two beers at the game before, like up ninth inning.

[Roy]

That's it.

[Mike Ryan]

Man, that new in game host is

[Dan Le Batard]

really attracting people to the game, huh?

[Zaslow]

So 5 and 1. You guys saw that? The Marlins are 5 and 1, fish.

[Dan Le Batard]

You know who they got now, though?

[Zaslow]

Yankees today at 1:35.

[Roy]

Because it's Yankees home opener. Oh, is it a little day Friday baseball.

[Mike Ryan]

A Yuri Perez on the mound.

[Zaslow]

We kind of find out this weekend, like, if the Marlins are a little bit for real.

[Dan Le Batard]

You don't feel good about Chris Paddock versus Max Reed.

[Zaslow]

I just, you know, it's Rocky. Get one of the first two Rockies and White Sox. I don't really Know what to think about this Marlins team yet? That's all I'm saying. All right, so you guys.

[Roy]

The Rockies took two of three from

[Dan Le Batard]

the Toronto Blue Jays who were just in the World Series.

[Zaslow]

Okay, okay.

[Roy]

Just.

[Dan Le Batard]

Just need to make sure that's clear. He missed that while he was out.

[Zaslow]

Number three, you may have missed. Did you guys see Tiger got another accident? I did say Tiger Woods. I don't know who that is impression of. I would lose that.

[Roy]

I know this is not really a laughing matter, but the ET memes dog.

[Mike Ryan]

I didn't know what I was looking at at first.

[Dan Le Batard]

There was someone on social media that said, I actually thought that this was a photo of what's going on on Artemis. And I'm like, I could see how someone puts that together.

[Zaslow]

Tyga got in another car accident. I mean, buddy, like, I don't know.

[Roy]

You gotta hold your breath.

[Stugotz]

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[Dan Le Batard]

hey, Roy, buddy.

[Stugotz]

Yo.

[Dan Le Batard]

You know that energy shift when the game gets good and everybody all together in unison knows to stand up on their feet?

[Stugotz]

Oh, absolutely.

[Dan Le Batard]

Mike.

[Stugotz]

Yeah.

[Dan Le Batard]

You've been at many big time sporting events. You know that moment quite well. That's what it's like when you take your first sip of Cuervo.

[Stugotz]

Oh, delicious.

[Dan Le Batard]

It's the signal that says we're not checking the time anymore, pal. It's when small talk turns into stories. Cuervo, man. It's that high five. A random stranger effect. That's right. The game is popping. You're hugging people you never met before. That's the kind of energy that Cuervo brings. It's so smooth, so delicious. That's the Cuervo effect. Keep it Cuervo, folks, listen up.

[Roy]

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[Zaslow]

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[Roy]

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[Zaslow]

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[Roy]

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[Zaslow]

Bonus bets expire seven days after issuance. Four additional terms are responsible.

[Roy]

GAM Resources.

[Zaslow]

See sportsbook draftkings.com promos Limited time offer. Don Leardard. I've never stepped foot on that campus. I. If you told me right now, your life depends on it. Go to Santa Fe University and just, just, just take a picture sts, I would die. I don't know where it is.

[Stugotz]

This is the D?

[Zaslow]

Ler show with the st.

[Mike Ryan]

Now, Zaz. One of the things we talked about, Zaz, was that he insisted he doesn't need a driver because privacy concerns.

[Zaslow]

Well, what's happening in the car? Privacy concerns. You put up, put up the window.

[Mike Ryan]

You know, maybe it's not always happening in the car, but what about destination?

[Zaslow]

Beyonce partition. Isn't that what that song is? Do it, Tiger.

[Mike Ryan]

What about destination? Maybe he's worried about the destination.

[Stugotz]

Where's he going to Jupiter.

[Mike Ryan]

He's going to show these again.

[Stugotz]

Great.

[Dan Le Batard]

One of my initial takes was, I'm stunned that he didn't try to call the president when all this happened. And we've come to find out, oh, it was the first move.

[Roy]

Now, to be fair, in the video, we might play it at some point. He just says the president. Could be the homeowners association. Yeah, could be of like, maybe called Matt Riley, maybe a car dealership. He doesn't say Donald Trump. Yeah, he just got in an accident.

[Stugotz]

Car dealership president.

[Roy]

I'm Tiger Woods. Who you think I'm calling for?

[Zaslow]

I mean, if I was on the phone with Pat Riley, I got to

[Mike Ryan]

go on my phone.

[Zaslow]

President.

[Mike Ryan]

I'm calling those guys from Pembroke Pines. What are the key of Pembroke Pines?

[Zaslow]

So here's. Here is. I haven't even. I know it happened, but I haven't even seen the video yet. So here is. I guess this is body cam footage, right, that TMZ got a hold of. Here's your boy, Tiger Woods. Just keep you down here with us, please. Yeah, I was talking to the president. That is such a douche move.

[Mike Ryan]

Yeah, that's. That's not the HOA guys.

[Roy]

He does that in such a cocky way. Like, the hands. Just no big deal.

[Stugotz]

To be fair to Tiger, like, you got to pull all the strings you can. Of course. Like, you got. You got nothing left. You're like, you got to do something.

[Roy]

And he was trying to be slick because that video is a little longer. He was, like, 100 yards away. And the cops like, you got to stay down here with us.

[Dan Le Batard]

We know when this happened because that day, the Tiger news was that Donald Trump was the first to report that he would not be participating in the mass.

[Roy]

I think that was before.

[Dan Le Batard]

Was it just a coincidence, or did he, like, get off the phone with Tiger and he's like, I got a scoop.

[Roy]

Trump said it on some, like, I think he said it on Fox and Friends, like a morning show.

[Mike Ryan]

You got.

[Zaslow]

You hold on.

[Mike Ryan]

You got it. Tigers call. Donald. Donald, I just got an accident.

[Roy]

I have a scoop. I'm turning into Adam Schefter.

[Mike Ryan]

Does this mean you won't be in the Masters? I mean, I guess, like, the cops are here. Like, okay, say less.

[Zaslow]

Can you help me?

[Roy]

Like, will you be at Augusta?

[Zaslow]

So he definitely has the president's, like, cell, of course. No, no, that's not the question I'm asking. But what. So now that we've confirmed that when he decides to call the President, like, does Donald Trump. He has his phone, like, in his pocket, and it vibrates. He just picks it up. Like, that's how it works.

[Dan Le Batard]

There was an article written about this. Donald Trump answers a lot of cold calls.

[Zaslow]

That's what I'm wondering.

[Dan Le Batard]

He's.

[Mike Ryan]

No, he does.

[Dan Le Batard]

I'll find the order.

[Mike Ryan]

No, he doesn't.

[Dan Le Batard]

But, hello. It is absolutely a thing. Even with numbers that he doesn't recognize.

[Mike Ryan]

Come on.

[Stugotz]

Yeah.

[Dan Le Batard]

And his numbers.

[Mike Ryan]

Guys, we have to do this scam.

[Zaslow]

Likely.

[Roy]

Fine.

[Mike Ryan]

We have to do this.

[Dan Le Batard]

But he definitely recognizes it because he has the ringer on.

[Zaslow]

And then Eye of the Tiger plays,

[Roy]

and he's like, all right, it's ymca.

[Dan Le Batard]

You got him ignoring scam likelys? I don't.

[Zaslow]

All right, so you guys know Tiger got another accent. You didn't miss that, right? You know, hold on.

[Mike Ryan]

Scam likely? I think it's unlikely. Unlikely? I can never get scammed.

[Dan Le Batard]

No one's ever seen anything like this.

[Zaslow]

Top five you may have missed. What else you missed while I was away? Number two, Jaden Ivey. Sheesh.

[Mike Ryan]

Oh, boy.

[Dan Le Batard]

You know, and you running down this list. You're lucky you were gone for the last couple of days with those two stories.

[Zaslow]

Jade and Ivy.

[Mike Ryan]

We ran that one into the ground.

[Zaslow]

Get it together. Come on. What are we doing here? Number five. You guys saw that, though? Jane, Ivy, you missed that.

[Stugotz]

We saw it.

[Dan Le Batard]

We got nothing else on it. Oh, wait. I mean, do you have anything else on it?

[Mike Ryan]

No. I think we plowed that ground.

[Zaslow]

Roy, you know what happened with J. Nivy.

[Dan Le Batard]

Yes.

[Zaslow]

Yes, I do. Number five. Number five or five things you may have missed?

[Roy]

The fifth one.

[Zaslow]

Number one. The fifth number I'm doing is number one. Artemis II was going around the moon. Do you see that?

[Mike Ryan]

Yeah. You know, every time anyone says something about Artemis, I keep thinking of Artemis from Always Sunny. I cannot shake that image. So you say Artemis going around the moon. I can just see her going around the moon.

[Dan Le Batard]

We had actually a funny moment. I wanted to talk about Artemis. And before the show, like, Dan's like, why do you want to talk about Artemis? What's the talking point? I'm like, what's the talking point, buddy?

[Stugotz]

It's the biggest thing on the planet.

[Dan Le Batard]

So furthest humans have ever gone into space are going around the dark side of the moon.

[Zaslow]

Now, why are they going around? Why didn't just go, like, you know, see what's what, take the most forward path.

[Stugotz]

All right, so we saw that one already. So we got to go the long way around.

[Roy]

Like me in my backyard. I got to take. Make a lap, see what's what.

[Dan Le Batard]

Are you familiar with what the plans are with the moon?

[Zaslow]

Not really.

[Dan Le Batard]

So apparently I live here. Apparently. We've just given Elon the moon, and

[Zaslow]

the plan is we're going to steal the moon.

[Dan Le Batard]

The plan is to build a nuclear reactor on the moon. Okay, this is not a fake thing.

[Mike Ryan]

Yeah, I played civilization before.

[Dan Le Batard]

It's. It's a. It's a real plan. It's something they are trying to do. And this is Artemis is. This is exploration, or at least under the guise of exploration. But the end game here, Spence, is a nuclear reactor on the moon.

[Mike Ryan]

So.

[Stugotz]

So how do we get it down if it's up there. How do we get it down here?

[Mike Ryan]

What, the moon?

[Stugotz]

No, the. The nuclear stuff that's going to be made up there.

[Dan Le Batard]

I think we get the moon down here because of the nuclear react.

[Mike Ryan]

It goes wrong and then it comes back down. This has sparked a lot of people on threads, at least to bring up the challenger.

[Zaslow]

You active on threads?

[Mike Ryan]

I'm very active on threads.

[Dan Le Batard]

I love threads.

[Mike Ryan]

I love threads too. Where else can I find you?

[Dan Le Batard]

Get paid for threads?

[Roy]

Can't get into it.

[Dan Le Batard]

Do you get paid for threads?

[Mike Ryan]

I do not.

[Dan Le Batard]

I don't get paid for threads.

[Mike Ryan]

I don't think anyone does.

[Dan Le Batard]

We should get paid because people get paid for threads.

[Mike Ryan]

Well, they did and then they stopped that campaign. I was getting paid for threads, then the threads stopped.

[Dan Le Batard]

You got paid?

[Mike Ryan]

I got paid, yeah, like a year ago.

[Dan Le Batard]

I just like threads.

[Mike Ryan]

I like threads too.

[Roy]

Are we talking?

[Mike Ryan]

But I'm going to tell you, I'm going to tell you this. Who you need to follow, Follow Jamel Hill and just wait for this post that comes from her. I ran to the comments. As soon as you see Jamel Hill post, I ran to the comments. Or some variant of that. You know, this is going to be an amazing dude.

[Dan Le Batard]

That's my algo. Yeah, I know what Zaz's algo is

[Zaslow]

much better if that's.

[Dan Le Batard]

I don't know, but I get like run to the comments and what I like about Threads is you can like dear algo it and you can manipulate what your algo has.

[Mike Ryan]

You say dear algo and let it. Tell it what you want.

[Dan Le Batard]

We should. We weren't getting paid before, we should get paid now.

[Mike Ryan]

I look, they invite me to all the parties every time Threads has a party ago. Well, not every time, but a lot of times it's an NBA thing. But as I was saying, the threads algorithm for me was doing a lot of challenger talk. A lot of challenger talk. And I was curious, are any of you guys old enough to remember, like, not remember it? I'm talking about being in school and then wheeling the TV in.

[Zaslow]

It's interesting that you say that because, like, watching Artemis 2 take off whenever one of these, you know, shuttles take off, I always think about the challenge. They all make me nervous.

[Dan Le Batard]

I'm scared every time too. Especially since we hadn't done this type of deal in a while. But so far, so great.

[Zaslow]

I remember when it happened.

[Mike Ryan]

Did you like, you remember?

[Zaslow]

I think I was like five or six years old, around like 86, 87.

[Mike Ryan]

Yeah, I was in third grade, buddy they rolled that TV in.

[Zaslow]

Yep.

[Mike Ryan]

And the whole big thing was because one of the people on board, it was like five astronauts. And then one of them was like a school teacher who won like some contest or whatever. And it was like a big deal that one of America's teachers is going to space. You come back and teach her class about all the things she learned about space from being on a space shuttle. And then like the thing takes off and, you know, I don't know if you've watched it, but it's like you see some flames, like, is that supposed to happen? And then you see some more of them, like, that definitely ain't supposed to happen. And then it was just like all across America, all these school teachers, like, oh, what else is on tv?

[Zaslow]

It's like the scene in succession where he watches the ship on his phone and it blows up. Just kind of puts it back in

[Mike Ryan]

his pocket pretty much.

[Dan Le Batard]

Since your algo is so dialed into this, do you know where we're at in the timeline? They're still like, gaining momentum. They're supposed to orbit the Earth like three times and like, slingshot.

[Mike Ryan]

Slingshot, Yep. That. We learned that from Apollo 13. There you go.

[Roy]

Rocket man.

[Mike Ryan]

Oh, rocket man.

[Zaslow]

I was gonna say Armageddon.

[Mike Ryan]

Armageddon was no slingshot.

[Zaslow]

All right, now all of a sudden you're a man of science.

[Mike Ryan]

I'm a man of movies is what I am.

[Dan Le Batard]

I trust his. I'll go more than yours when it comes to this. Oh, one of the things that you miss. Christine Ohm.

[Mike Ryan]

Yeah.

[Zaslow]

Is that story real? Like, I saw the headline. It's radisolacious.

[Stugotz]

You got those boobs on your algo.

[Dan Le Batard]

You would think with your algo, you'd be totally doubted.

[Mike Ryan]

Well, no, they're not real.

[Zaslow]

Right?

[Mike Ryan]

All right, thanks, Jeremy.

[Stugotz]

I don't want to be that guy in the moon landing, but how? All this, all the science, all this stuff we have now.

[Zaslow]

You better not pull some flat Earth bullshit.

[Mike Ryan]

No, I'm talking about the moon.

[Zaslow]

I just saw the moon.

[Stugotz]

How are you going to tell me

[Zaslow]

about flat earth when I'm talking about the moon?

[Roy]

I thought he was flat Earth.

[Stugotz]

When we talk about the moon, strap

[Dan Le Batard]

one on, he's going to do something close to it.

[Stugotz]

All I'm saying is 1969, we had the technology nice. And.

[Mike Ryan]

And.

[Stugotz]

And we put people on the moon.

[Zaslow]

Got Carl Everett in the studio over there.

[Stugotz]

But it's going to be really tough to get people on the moon now.

[Mike Ryan]

Well, 50 years later, it's not tough. They're going the long way around it.

[Stugotz]

Like the last time we went to the moon. People on the moon? No, no people on the moon.

[Mike Ryan]

The other night, baby. Hey. No, like, I don't know. I don't know what the exact thing. But the point is, there's no point in going to the moon. You go to the moon and see if you could do it. Once you've done it, you don't keep doing it.

[Stugotz]

But we haven't got to the far side of the moon, which is what we're doing now.

[Dan Le Batard]

I mean, I think there are steps again, endgame. You got to build a reactor on the moon. We may need some boots on the ground for that.

[Mike Ryan]

Sure, but that hasn't been the plan. Sit in the 70s or 80s or 90s or the 21st century.

[Stugotz]

1972 is the last time that people were on the moon. Yeah. Been a long time.

[Dan Le Batard]

People or the United States? Has anyone else? Has any other countries been on the moon?

[Mike Ryan]

I don't know. I don't know off the top of my head, I guess. My point is, you think there's no point, right? Like, there's nothing happening up there. People, like, why haven't they gone back? Because there's nothing to go. They went, they saw. Okay, it's some rocks. Got it.

[Zaslow]

Nothing of use to us.

[Mike Ryan]

You got some plans? Not really. Don't have any technology to do plans. All right, cool. Let's holler back. Let's circle back when we have the technology to do shit, which we do now. But, like, I saw Channing Frye and Richard Jefferson. They were. Man, they were talking the same kind of talk about, like, oh, Channing was like, no, we never went to the moon. And it was just like, why haven't we been back? And I'm like, that can't be your. You know, like, I've been in Switzerland. It was in 1998. I haven't been back. Why had you been back? You ain't never go to Switzerland. Like, come on, man. I went.

[Zaslow]

I saw that shit. Makes me crazy. Good chocolate makes me crazy. Didn't land on the moon. Shit like that, man.

[Mike Ryan]

Oh, it just seems like a. Like a very tepid conspiracy. Like, this is like my first conspiracy. Give me some real shit, man. Give me. Give me. The pyramids. Had WI fi.

[Dan Le Batard]

Now I'm in real shit.

[Stugotz]

We got a problem. We got a big problem. There's a lot to talk about, you

[Dan Le Batard]

know, you don't want the real shit from him. I mean, the reason why people want to gravitate to. To that is Space race was a huge deal and there was so much pressure and geopolitical ramifications that people believe. Also when you speed the video up and where are the stars?

[Stugotz]

And what is.

[Dan Le Batard]

Why does the flag move?

[Mike Ryan]

There's. And Stanley Kubrick did it in Pasadena or whatever.

[Stugotz]

Now you're talking.

[Dan Le Batard]

Keep going, Don LeBatard.

[Zaslow]

My algorithm on Instagram, it's Dance all Boobs

[Dan Le Batard]

stick.

[Zaslow]

Good algorithm. This is the Dan Levatar show with the stugats. So I'm glad you guys didn't miss any of that. I saw it as well. We're all on the same page. Even though I was away yesterday when I'm leaving the airport without my luggage, by the way, I. I flew in and out of Miami and right next to the Miami International Airport is New stadium.

[Mike Ryan]

Yeah.

[Zaslow]

All right. Nu. New stadium. That is where Inter Miami is going to open their home schedule in the brand new stadium tomorrow.

[Mike Ryan]

Now, when you say brand new, you mean the brand.

[Zaslow]

It's a little confusing. I get it.

[Mike Ryan]

I mean, it's new.

[Zaslow]

Yeah.

[Dan Le Batard]

New stadium.

[Zaslow]

New. And you.

[Mike Ryan]

Yeah, I know it's a new stadium.

[Stugotz]

What's it called?

[Zaslow]

New stadium is a new stadium.

[Mike Ryan]

I know it's this new stadium.

[Zaslow]

Right, Right.

[Mike Ryan]

I knew that.

[Zaslow]

New stadium. It's new stadium.

[Dan Le Batard]

Stop yanking our cranks.

[Zaslow]

So I'm leaving the airport yesterday and I point to my wife and my son, I go, that stadium right there, they think they're having a game on Saturday.

[Mike Ryan]

It looks beautiful. I'm looking at the video right now.

[Zaslow]

We're looking at the inside. It looks fantastic. The outside, there's a lot of cranes. There's a lot of construction going on. There's a lot of dirt roads. Ain't a whole lot of parking. I don't know how this stadium is opening tomorrow for a whole anal parking lot. Ain't no whole lot of parking.

[Mike Ryan]

You just said it again.

[Zaslow]

Ain't a whole lot of parking.

[Mike Ryan]

That's the third time.

[Dan Le Batard]

You're doing this on purpose now.

[Zaslow]

Yeah, I don't know how they're opening up a home schedule tomorrow.

[Dan Le Batard]

I mean, well, we can see the stadium. The stadium seems to be fully functional. There's a pitch the seats are in the stadium, which, you know, it was dicey. They weren't always there. It was only until very recently. I had a friend go over there. Cause they had a practice and kick the tires. And from the inside it looks all right. And then I asked like for a video on the outside. And the outside is everything that you were saying they are. So this could not have been the.

[Zaslow]

I mean, the outside looks six months behind, I would say.

[Dan Le Batard]

Yeah.

[Mike Ryan]

Let me say this about even the video that we just saw. Cuz at first I was like, look, it looks beautiful. Then I saw a dude in a construction hat and the vest carrying metal pipes.

[Zaslow]

That's what they're gonna give to every fan who goes in the stadium. They have to wear a construction hat.

[Dan Le Batard]

Now that you mention it, the videos that my friend sent me from like the hospitality lounges in there, they were active construction sites too. There were construction people wearing vests walking through.

[Zaslow]

The players are going to be wearing construction helmets.

[Mike Ryan]

Look at this guy right here. This is not a complete

[Roy]

fence. It looks like chairs, not pipes.

[Zaslow]

But still, it's a quick fix.

[Stugotz]

Don't worry about that.

[Mike Ryan]

But also the other thing, Mike. I'm surprised they went with the pink. Pink seats. Pink seats. Because if you remember now, you might remember this. You're a man of age, of course

[Zaslow]

I know what you're talking about.

[Mike Ryan]

American Airlines arena when it first opened, lots of bright seats. Yellow, yellow. Bright yellow seats. And what they found out is when the Miami people are late to come

[Zaslow]

into a game, really odd.

[Mike Ryan]

I used to see every single empty seat.

[Dan Le Batard]

Yeah, well, I mean those are. The pink ones are out of most of the camera frames. Right. But I mean there are plenty of white seats too. It'll be noticeable, but. But historically Inter Miami has not had an issue drawing and I know. Well, it's easy to say because they've had Messi, even pre Messi. One thing that did happen, I imagine the stadium will.

[Zaslow]

That they'll fill this stadium.

[Dan Le Batard]

Yeah. I mean, yes, this is a big market for Major League Soccer. There you just need 20,000 soccer fans willing to pay to get into that stadium. And that you can find that in Doral.

[Mike Ryan]

Guys, I have an. An unpopular opinion. I think, I think, I think that soccer stadiums like that and basketball arenas that are made for college programs that have all the bells and whistles of a pro facility, but are smaller in size, more pretty. I like that. I like that look better than a massive 80,000 seat stadium.

[Dan Le Batard]

I'm with you.

[Mike Ryan]

Right?

[Dan Le Batard]

We're parking our car in the same garage. I also love like the big opulent like Jerry World and brand new stadiums because they're so, so luxurious and it's cool and I just love going to stadiums. But in terms of experience and actually being a patron, I'm with you.

[Zaslow]

I guess I agree with you too because. And granted, it was like the first arena slash stadium that I loved as A kid. But it's, it's part of what the charm of Miami arena was here. Like, I love Miami arena so much. And it was small. Like there was an intimate feel to it.

[Mike Ryan]

I. I don't know if you guys have ever been to usc. The Galen Center. It's their basketball arena. Yeah, it's like an NBA arena if it were shrunk to like 10,000 seats.

[Dan Le Batard]

Early 90s in NBA arena.

[Zaslow]

Yeah, but.

[Dan Le Batard]

Yeah, being in the seats, like great sidelines.

[Zaslow]

Good.

[Dan Le Batard]

Good atmosphere.

[Mike Ryan]

Yeah, but. But not like Pauley Pavilion, which is a dump. Right. Like I don't like Cameron Indoor dump. People romanticize these places. They're awful, right?

[Zaslow]

Worst stadium you've ever. Worst arena slash stadium you've ever been to.

[Mike Ryan]

In terms of reputation versus the reality.

[Dan Le Batard]

That's a good game. Reputation versus reality.

[Zaslow]

Okay. Like, hey, you gotta go here.

[Mike Ryan]

Oh my God.

[Zaslow]

And you do. And you're like, this is it, Cameron.

[Mike Ryan]

Indoor for sure. And I'll give you another one. Before they fixed it. And I'm gonna piss a lot of people off. The world's most famous arena. That place used to the Mecca. Yeah, a bleepin dump.

[Zaslow]

Oh, but I loved it before they renovated it.

[Mike Ryan]

But look like, I get it. It had its charm or whatever. It was a dump, dude. Rats running around and stuff. Everything. Low ceiling, bad lighting. It'.

[Zaslow]

I liked it better before ramp concrete. But did it have anal hole parking?

[Stugotz]

That's crazy.

[Zaslow]

That's what I sounded like.

[Dan Le Batard]

Old Trafford.

[Mike Ryan]

Anal hole parking.

[Zaslow]

Anal hole parking. That dump site is definitely edited. You're bullshit.

[Mike Ryan]

It's a dump.

[Zaslow]

Yeah.

[Dan Le Batard]

It's dated. And they very clearly need a new one now. There's plenty of.

[Mike Ryan]

They need a new traffic.

[Dan Le Batard]

Yeah, they do. I think famously. They're actively trying to get one. But Stamford Bridge is also older. A lot of the great meccas in European soccer are older.

[Mike Ryan]

What about the Spanish? Camp New.

[Dan Le Batard]

I haven't been to the new camp. Camp New. Which camp? New Camp.

[Mike Ryan]

New Camp New.

[Dan Le Batard]

There's a new camp?

[Mike Ryan]

New.

[Zaslow]

Are you talking about new stadium? No, camp that opens tomorrow.

[Dan Le Batard]

New camp. And I haven't been to Real Madrid's new stadium either. But these were places in need of an overhaul, I guess in the, in the NBA. Washington. I've been to Washington for an NHL game. That's not.

[Zaslow]

I was there a couple months ago.

[Dan Le Batard]

That's not a question.

[Mike Ryan]

But it's not, it's not herald though, Right?

[Zaslow]

Right.

[Mike Ryan]

I'm gonna tell you what's heralded though. Staples slash crypto. People love that place. That place Is. I do not like it.

[Zaslow]

I've been there. A long time ago. You know what was the one for me? MetLife Stadium. That place is a dump.

[Dan Le Batard]

I hate that place.

[Zaslow]

Dump.

[Dan Le Batard]

That's a great shout because it's one of these newer ones, but it came around when just new is good and then like Jerry World kind of changed the game. No, you have to be nice, too. You just can't be new.

[Zaslow]

That stadium is a. A nothing. MetLife Stadium. It looks like an air conditioning unit, by the way.

[Mike Ryan]

I'll give you another one. Piss some more people off. Fenway, thumbs down.

[Zaslow]

I disagree.

[Mike Ryan]

That's wrong.

[Dan Le Batard]

Really?

[Zaslow]

That's wrong.

[Mike Ryan]

Fenway, thumbs down. Although Wrigley thumbs up.

[Zaslow]

Wrigley's good, too.

[Mike Ryan]

The same thing. Nope, not the same thing.

[Stugotz]

It's the same thing.

[Mike Ryan]

Wrigley has charm.

[Stugotz]

It's the same thing.

[Mike Ryan]

Wrigley has charm.

[Stugotz]

Fenway doesn't have charm.

[Mike Ryan]

No.

[Stugotz]

What are you on about?

[Dan Le Batard]

Have you been in that bar in left field? You're totally wrong.

[Stugotz]

You could look through the hole.

[Dan Le Batard]

You could see right through the bar in left field.

[Mike Ryan]

I don't want.

[Roy]

Can't see white through.

[Zaslow]

Yeah. Nuts, man. You're wrong about that. Mike, are you going tomorrow? You're not a season. Take it older anymore, Finn or Miami. No, I'm not. I was an inaugural season. Take it all to freedom. I mean, I gave him up last year. Very, very expensive.

[Mike Ryan]

Yeah.

[Dan Le Batard]

Same as of right now. I'm not going tomorrow. I will go to a game this season. I. It's got to be like quite the hookup to get me to go through what those people are going to go.

[Zaslow]

I'm telling you, basically. Yeah. Right. I'm telling you. I drove past it yesterday. Get there 10 hours early. I mean, seriously.

[Roy]

Wait.

[Dan Le Batard]

Or take the Metro.

[Mike Ryan]

How about the airport? I'm trying to. I'm going to. I'm flying out today. Am I going to have airport issues because of traffic for tomorrow?

[Zaslow]

No, no. You'd have a problem if you're flying out tomorrow. Yeah.

[Roy]

You should leave right after the show. It's gonna be bad today.

[Mike Ryan]

For 24 hour. No.

[Stugotz]

But.

[Mike Ryan]

Yeah. Do you foresee airport traffic being disrupted by people going to the game on game days?

[Zaslow]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Mike Ryan]

Damn.

[Zaslow]

Last weekend when I flew to Vail out of Miami, I had a 5am flight. Earliest flight I've ever had in my life. Had a 5:00am flight. Missed it.

[Mike Ryan]

We missed the flight because the TSA or. Wow.

[Zaslow]

Yep. Missed.

[Roy]

I remember talking to you the day before and you're like, we're going to get there an hour before our.

[Mike Ryan]

Dude. Have you not been watching boarding starts,

[Zaslow]

or am I going to get to the airport before 4am not watching the news. You started boarding.

[Roy]

Your flight boards at 4.

[Mike Ryan]

10.

[Zaslow]

I look.

[Mike Ryan]

Stormtroopers in the airport, man.

[Zaslow]

I looked. I looked what time the security opens and it says 4:00am so, like, okay, 5:00am Flight, 4:00am I will get there. I will have my bags checked by 4am I will get in line. Because here's the thing. I have tsa, all right? So I'll be able to get through quick enough. The TSA line different from the regular security line. TSA line didn't open till 4. 45. Missed flight. Straight up, missed the flight.

[Roy]

Did you get on one, like, hours later at least, same day?

[Zaslow]

Yeah, yeah, we were able to get on a flight four hours later.

[Stugotz]

So you could have gotten there at midnight and it wouldn't have mattered because they opened late?

[Mike Ryan]

Well, no, he would have just had to stand in the regular line.

[Zaslow]

Yeah.

[Mike Ryan]

And just be a regular.

[Zaslow]

Wait an hour.

[Roy]

I don't stand in regular lines on my flight.

[Mike Ryan]

Okay, what about the priority line? The priority line, because they have a. A separate entryway just for priority.

[Zaslow]

Yeah, a separate entry lane just for tsa. Yes.

[Mike Ryan]

TSA one was closed.

[Roy]

TSA Pre. Can we like TSA Pre? How do you not.

[Stugotz]

As a man of travel, how do you not have clear?

[Zaslow]

No, TSA Pre is better.

[Stugotz]

TSA Pre is not better.

[Roy]

No, it's way better.

[Zaslow]

It's a lot better.

[Stugotz]

Clear is better with tsa.

[Roy]

You should have both.

[Zaslow]

I have both.

[Mike Ryan]

Compliments.

[Roy]

TSA Pre is better, though.

[Zaslow]

Okay. But they didn't have that line anyway. At Miami International.

[Mike Ryan]

They do. It's at. In the E concourse.

[Zaslow]

Okay, well, I was at the American concourse. I think it was D. Buddy, there

[Dan Le Batard]

is an American one.

[Mike Ryan]

Let me school you about the airport that you grew up next to.

[Zaslow]

Go on.

[Mike Ryan]

Right. If you go to the Terminal E gates, there's a clear line there. And by the way, it all connects. That where that Chick Fil A is and.

[Stugotz]

All right.

[Dan Le Batard]

You can walk through the concrete. You know about that TGI Fridays with the smoker section right there with the glass, you know?

[Zaslow]

Yep. They don't explain it very well. The signage is not very good because

[Stugotz]

you don't remind me.

[Dan Le Batard]

From Fort Lauderdale right now. Dude, that's Broward. You've never. Every time I get, like, the. The American Airlines flight that's in Gate E, I'm like, oh, man, I'm going back to 1993.

[Mike Ryan]

It's yeah, it's very preserved. Like, this is how. Perfectly preserved. This is how air travel used to be.

[Dan Le Batard]

Dude. They have, like, a. Like a Pizza Hut kiosk. And the signs are, like, the. The plastic ones. You have the individual.

[Mike Ryan]

Slide it on out.

[Dan Le Batard]

Yeah, they still have that.

[Zaslow]

Really?

[Mike Ryan]

Get some breadsticks sometimes.

[Stugotz]

It's.

[Zaslow]

It's pretty dated when we realized we're missing that flat. My wife was shook. She's never missed a flight. She's freaking. Like, calm down, all right? We'll get on another flight. What big a deal?

[Mike Ryan]

Did you. Did you have to.

[Zaslow]

I specifically told her to calm down. And guess what? It worked.

[Mike Ryan]

Wow.

[Dan Le Batard]

Yeah.

[Zaslow]

It did not work.

[Mike Ryan]

Always works.

[Dan Le Batard]

Yeah. Wives love that.

[Zaslow]

It's one of the worst things you could ever say to a woman.

[Mike Ryan]

Yeah.

[Zaslow]

Calm down.

[Stugotz]

It relaxes up there too.

[Zaslow]

Relax. Calm down. These. They. They just. They don't work.

[Roy]

You're acting crazy.

[Dan Le Batard]

Quit making a scene.

[Zaslow]

It's like they're. You're saying it's like. Like. Like the factory reset button.

[Mike Ryan]

Chill. Oh, man, Those.

[Stugotz]

That never works.

[Zaslow]

Calm down. It just did not. It didn't have the effect that I wanted it to.

[Dan Le Batard]

People are looking at us when I

[Zaslow]

said it to her.

[Roy]

Sometimes my wife's yelling at my daughter, and I have to, like, look over it, like, relax.

[Mike Ryan]

Oh, wow. Oh, my God.

[Roy]

Where I'm like, my daughter doesn't you

[Dan Le Batard]

want some of this too?

[Zaslow]

Where.

[Roy]

It's just like. I hit her with, like, the.

[Zaslow]

The LeBron.

[Roy]

I just hit her with the. Like.

[Zaslow]

You do the LeBron, celly.

[Roy]

I mean, it's just sometimes I'm just like, let's just bring it down.