The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz: NFL Kickoff Show – "The Season is Now" w/ Dan Hanzus
Original Air Date: September 5, 2025
Guests & Hosts: Dan Le Batard, Stugotz, Dave Dameshek, Mike Ryan, the Fuentes brothers, Dan Hanzus (of "Heed the Call"), Objective Bradley
Overview
From downtown Miami's Elser Hotel, Le Batard and crew launch into the 2025 NFL season with their trademark mix of irreverence, deep football nerdery, controversial opinions, and pop culture asides. This kickoff episode welcomes Dan Hanzus (of "Heed the Call") for a lively look at NFL and college football storylines, fashion debates over uniforms, bold game picks, survivor pools, player props, and the omnipresent anxieties of Jets and Steelers fans.
Theme: The wild unpredictability of the NFL, the importance–and absurdity–of football pageantry, and communal nervous energy as the new season begins.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. Surprises in Football: NCAA vs. NFL
[00:00–04:20]
- College football is largely dominated by elites, with "only four or five teams" usually in the national title mix.
- NFL, by contrast, is chaotic and rife with upsets and unpredictable outcomes.
- Iconic NFL surprises called out: Tom Brady’s 6th round selection and stardom, Joe Montana as a 3rd-round pick, Patrick Mahomes drafted behind Mitch Trubisky.
- The “Greatest Show on Turf” (Rams), Jets over Colts in Super Bowl III, etc.
“College football is great, except for the end part, when the elites go behind the velvet ropes and everybody else gets to fight over Pop Tarts and Mayo bowls.” — Dave Dameshek, [00:40]
2. NFL News: Micah Parsons Trade & Player Health
[04:23–05:48]
- Discussion on the shockwaves from Dallas trading Micah Parsons to Green Bay, and his rumored need for an epidural to play.
- Behind-the-scenes NFL drama and the emotional toll of losing a "one-team guy."
“The Dallas Cowboys traded him to the Packers. Apparently the Eagles tried to get him, but they said, no, we're not trading within our division. But you traded them to the Packers. That goes back to the Ice Bowl and everything else.” — Dameshek, [05:05]
3. Fashion & Uniform Corner: The Good, The Bad, The Gaudy
[05:58–15:44]
- Ongoing debates about the aesthetics of modern college and NFL uniforms.
- Issues with Miami’s mix-and-match stripes, Notre Dame’s gold accents, and a potential new segment name ("fashion faux pass").
- Praise for Texas Longhorns' road look; criticism of Florida schools’ uniforms being “mediocre to bad.”
- Advocacy for throwback uniforms in rivalry games: authenticity trumps gaudy alternate kits.
“Miami's piping is a disaster. None of it matches—the helmet stripe does not match the shoulder stripe. The shoulder stripe does not match the pants stripe.” — Mike Ryan, [06:47] “The NFL should go back to throwback uniforms on Thanksgiving Day. ... If you're really tapping into the history of the game and calling something a rivalry series, why are we taking such crazy shots with our look? Let's do something more throwbacky.” — Mike Ryan, [14:20]
4. NFL Week 1 Game Picks & Debates
[15:44–23:53]
a. Dolphins vs. Colts
- Local allegiances clash, with the crew picking the Dolphins due to quarterback edge and “malaria” jokes:
“The Miami Dolphins have a good quarterback in Tua, even though he takes too many shots to the head. ... Dolphins win this one, 30 to 21.” — Dameshek, [17:11]
b. Buccaneers vs. Falcons
- Split on divisional outcome, with injuries (Tampa down key receivers) swaying picks to Atlanta.
- Complaint about divisional games in Week 1: “We don't need filet mignon, just a cracker to get by.”
c. Broncos vs. Titans
- Survivor pool logic favors Broncos for the win, but cautions about upsets:
“My survivor slash suicide pick of the week is the Denver Broncos. It's the obvious one—play it as safe as possible.” — Dameshek, [03:48]
d. Bengals vs. Browns (Battle for Ohio)
- A history lesson on Browns/Bengals/Art Modell, with both sides predicting a competitive contest but edge to Bengals:
“Divisional matchups Week one can be tight. ... I think Cleveland hangs around inside the number. I think there's a gritty three-point game that Joe Burrow pulls out.” — Mike Ryan, [22:58]
5. Steelers vs. Jets, and the Weight of Fandom
[26:09–34:46]
- In-depth segment with Dan Hanzus on Jets’ relentless misery and potential for more heartbreak with Aaron Rodgers facing his old team.
- A mutual understanding of sports fan cynicism and survivor’s guilt.
“Part of being a Jets fan is, is the LOL jets aspect. ... We can't have him [Rodgers] play well in our building in week one. We just can't.” — Hanzus, [28:14] “No one is more cynical about any team brand than the fans of it. ... I can see the doom and gloom awaiting—that’s times a million for any Jets fan out there.” — Dameshek, [28:14]
Score & Season Predictions:
- Hanzus: Jets 20, Steelers 17 ("the new thick kicker" wins it) [32:55]
- Dameshek: Steelers 17, Jets 13; predicts Steelers finish 11–6, make the playoffs but "fall on their face" [33:38]
- Dameshek: “I have not been off by more than one game in 11 years now.” [33:31]
6. Giants, Commanders & QB Drama
[35:20–38:20]
- G-Men optimism is “weird,” dilemma over playing rookie Jackson Dart vs. progress-stopper Wilson.
“The only guy that could save his [Daboll’s] job is the kid quarterback. ... By maybe four to five weeks in, but anything longer than that, I just feel like they have the wrong idea here.” — Hanzus, [37:10]
7. Pop Culture & Music Interludes
[38:20–41:32]
- Mini-ranking: Best American bands (R.E.M., E Street Band, Tom Petty).
- Hanzus recounts Oasis at MetLife, waxes about the value of bands going away and creating myth.
“One of U2's biggest problems is they never went away and so nobody had a chance to miss them. ... REM's decision to walk away, it almost had... they don't seem to have the same cultural like hold on the zeitgeist.” — Hanzus, [39:57]
8. Player Prop Bets: Pick Six Segment
[44:55–47:33]
- Sneaky value found in “non-running QBs” rushing props (Brock Purdy, Joe Burrow).
- Strong consensus for Tua Tagovailoa to torch Indy’s secondary (o/u: 245.5 pass yards).
- General betting approach: Look for hidden rushing value, target bad NFL secondaries, temper early expectations for new team builds.
- Comedic banter as the Fuentes brothers and Dameshek disagree (sometimes irrationally) about prop trends.
9. Lightning Round: Remaining Week 1 Picks & National Game Spotlights
[47:33–53:09]
- Rapid-fire Dameshek “spoils” every score for the following games: Packers-Lions (30-26 GB), Vikings-Bears, Ravens-Bills (28-24 BAL, outright upset), Rams-Texans, Seahawks-Niners, Panthers-Jags, Patriots-Raiders, Falcons-Saints, Cardinals-Saints, Chargers-Chiefs (calls LAC upset).
- Game of the week: Eagles vs. Cowboys as season opener.
- Mike: Eagles by two scores, “Dallas ... defense isn't going to be great, ... running game isn't going to be great.” [51:21]
- Gino: Closer at half, but Eagles pull away (“once Philly finds a way to get around Dallas's defense... Jalen Hurts will start throwing the ball and they don't have anything for that either.”) [51:45]
- Dameshek: Take the over; expects Dallas offense to put up numbers but Eagles still cover [52:09]
- Objective Bradley: Eagles 41, Cowboys 7 [53:09]
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
-
On NCAA vs NFL unpredictability:
"College football is great, except for the end part ... What's the biggest surprise in the last half century of college football? ... Compare that with the NFL, where the unimaginable is the norm." — Dameshek, [00:40]
-
On NFL uniform monotony:
“90% of them are all like, hey, look what we did to our uniforms. We slapped our team logo on an all-black get up ... Not very creative.” — Dameshek, [14:01]
-
On uniform traditionalism:
“When the rivalry games arrive, that's when you gotta wear the classics, not try some new fangled look.” — Dameshek, [15:44]
-
Micah Parsons trade & fan heartbreak:
“If you're a Cowboys fan, the element that I feel like most people haven't talked about ... is that I love one helmet guys, guys that only play for one team.” — Dameshek, [04:55]
-
On Jets and perpetual hope/pain:
“As a Jets fan, it [Rodgers] is a very sensitive subject because we all kind of opened up our hearts to the experience knowing that there was a very high chance of getting hurt.” — Dan Hanzus, [28:50]
Important Timestamps
| Time | Segment/Topic | |-----------|-------------------------------------------------| | 00:00 | Opening: NCAA vs. NFL Surprises | | 04:23 | Black & White News: Micah Parsons, NFL news | | 05:58 | Uniform Fashion Segment: Miami, Notre Dame | | 10:08 | Segment Naming Debate; Texas/USC/Piping | | 12:08 | Florida college uniforms critique | | 15:44 | NFL Week 1 Game Picks: Dolphins-Colts, Bucs-Falcons | | 23:53 | Browns-Bengals Rivalry, Recap | | 26:09 | Dan Hanzus Joins: Jets-Steelers anxieties | | 32:36 | Jets-Steelers Score Predictions | | 34:46 | Giants, Commanders, Daniel Jones/Jackson Dart | | 38:20 | Greatest American Bands tangent | | 44:55 | DraftKings Pick Six: Player Prop Bets | | 47:33 | Remaining Week 1 Picks (Lightning Round) | | 50:54 | Cowboys-Eagles: Season Opener Analysis | | 52:09 | Over/Under Bets; Dak, Pickens, Ferguson | | 53:09 | Objective Bradley: Eagles blowout prediction |
Tone and Style
- Irreverent, self-deprecating, and highly opinionated.
- Plenty of in-jokes, cross-talk, and crowd-sourcing ("What should we call the uniform segment?")
- Thoughtful football analysis punctuated by comic bits and whimsical musical/pop culture asides.
For Listeners Who Missed It
This episode is a blueprint for the week’s football debates, betting strategies, and existential fan anxieties—wrapped in a layering of inside jokes, fawning over uniforms, and the agony/ecstasy of being a Jets or Steelers fan.
If you want sharp-witted (and occasionally sharp-tongued) sports commentary, but also care about the exact shade of gold in Notre Dame’s helmet or why the NFL’s uniform “modernization” is often a crime against history, this is your kickoff show.
Highlights include the NFL vs college football debate, deep-dive on the Jets/Steelers/QB fallout, a name-and-shame session on Miami's stripe disaster, and Dan Hanzus’s tender monologue on the pain and hope of Jets fandom.
“It’s the footballiest time of the year!”