Postgame Show: Chris Wittyngham Has Takes

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Episode: Postgame Show: Chris Whittingham Has Takes
Release Date: November 26, 2024

---

1. Guest Appearance: Chris Whittingham and "Goalless"

The episode kicks off with a warm welcome to Chris Whittingham, a guest who brings fresh energy and plenty of material to the show. Stugotz shares the initial excitement of having Chris on the show, highlighting the anticipation of hearing his "hot takes."

• Stugotz (00:43): “You guys kind of groaned a little bit when Whittingham came in here. I thought I was going to get a whole lot of smiles. Me and Stugotz were thrilled, thrilled to see him."

However, tensions arise as Mike Ryan points out that Chris's enthusiasm may have overstepped boundaries.

• Mike Ryan (01:02): “So I was so happy to see. But that's where he crossed the line. It's like, you want me to do more? You want me to stick around for you?"

Dan clarifies that while Chris has valuable insights, there isn’t enough airtime to accommodate all his thoughts within the current show format.

• Dan Le Batard (01:23): “There isn't really room. All I do is Talk about Soccer247 on the podcast on the CBS Sports Colossal Network on the games that I call. I don't have room for these sorts of rants.”

Chris explains his focus on his soccer project, "Goalless," emphasizing its growing popularity.

• Dan Le Batard (01:54): “I actually arrived in Miami to record an episode of Goalless.”

2. Dan’s Car Rental Fiasco: Navigating Without a Driver’s License

A significant portion of the episode delves into Dan’s humorous and somewhat stressful experience trying to rent a car in Miami without a valid driver’s license. Transitioning from Florida to Connecticut, Dan explains the hiccup that led him to rely entirely on Uber during his stay.

• Dan Le Batard (01:54): “I arrived in Miami to record an episode of Goalless. I'm calling a game on Tuesday. Byron meeting against PSG. I went to rent a car and I have changed my driver's license.”

The hosts rib Dan about his predicament, envisioning comical scenarios of him being pulled over for driving without a license.

• Stugotz (02:37): “It’s a long way of getting to. He has a brain organization in his phone and he's got two ramps.”

Dan shares his optimistic yet failed attempt to bypass the system by hoping the rental car company would accept alternative identification.

• Dan Le Batard (03:00): “I thought some other form of identification. I thought a receipt that I had that showed I got this driver's license that's yet to arrive.”

The conversation humorously touches on the challenges of modern bureaucracy and Dan’s reliance on services like Uber.

3. Rant: The Ineffectiveness of Motion Sensor Soap Dispensers

Shifting gears, Dan launches into a passionate rant about the persistent failure of motion sensor soap dispensers in public restrooms. He laments the frustration of trying to obtain soap without success.

• Dan Le Batard (05:22): “Has anyone gone to a bathroom and waved the motion sensor soap dispenser and gotten soap out of it? It never works.”

The team echoes his sentiments, sharing their own experiences and frustrations with the unreliable dispensers.

• Stugotz (06:04): “You flew down to Florida for this.”

Jeremy adds a twist by mentioning that some sensors have racial biases, affecting their functionality.

• Jeremy (07:09): “Some of those like hand sensors are racist. Like they can pick up on the race of your hand and then they sometimes work and sometimes don't.”

Dan rejoins the conversation, emphasizing the need to revert to more reliable methods like manual buttons or soap bottles.

• Dan Le Batard (07:13): “We're unclean. We're unclean.”

4. Rant: The Elusive High Noon Watermelon Flavor

In another spirited segment, Dan expresses his disappointment over the scarcity of the Watermelon flavor of High Noon in local bars, despite its popularity.

• Dan Le Batard (07:49): “We can all agree that the best High Noon flavor is watermelon, right? By far the best High Noon flavor, you can't find it.”

He critiques the distribution strategy that bundles Watermelon with less popular flavors, making it harder for enthusiasts to find their preferred choice.

• Dan Le Batard (08:00): “They saddle it with the worst flavors. And so bars don't want watermelon because they gotta take all the other shit that comes with it.”

The discussion includes humorous analogies and a call to action for High Noon to focus on producing more of the beloved Watermelon variant.

• Dan Le Batard (09:00): “Guys, if it's this good selling. That's right. Just make more.”

5. Additional Banter and Humorous Exchanges

The episode is peppered with light-hearted jokes and playful interactions among the hosts. From mocking the idea of observational humor about other alcoholic beverages to teasing each other about regional pronunciations, the camaraderie remains strong.

• Stugotz (10:16): “Welcome back. I mean, I woke up at 3am for a flight this morning, but crack it up. The excuse. It's going to be terrible. Connecticut. You guys have never mispronounced a word.”

• Jeremy (10:30): “Woody, I have been meaning to ask you. How do you say good words but get Dan to like you?”

Overall, the episode balances insightful discussions with relatable frustrations and plenty of humor, making it engaging for both regular listeners and newcomers.

---

Notable Quotes with Timestamps:

• Stugotz (00:43): “You guys kind of groaned a little bit when Whittingham came in here. I thought I was going to get a whole lot of smiles."

• Mike Ryan (01:02): “But that's where he crossed the line. It's like, you want me to do more?"

• Dan Le Batard (03:00): “I thought some other form of identification. I thought a receipt that I had that showed I got this driver's license that's yet to arrive.”

• Dan Le Batard (05:22): “Has anyone gone to a bathroom and waved the motion sensor soap dispenser and gotten soap out of it? It never works.”

• Dan Le Batard (07:49): “We can all agree that the best High Noon flavor is watermelon, right? By far the best High Noon flavor, you can't find it.”

---

This episode of The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz offers a blend of personal anecdotes, professional insights, and everyday frustrations, all delivered with the hosts' signature humor and camaraderie. Whether it's navigating car rentals without a license, battling ineffective soap dispensers, or searching for the perfect beverage, listeners are treated to an engaging and relatable conversation that encapsulates the essence of the show.

Transcript

[Dan Le Batard]

You're listening to Giraffe Kings Network.

[Unknown]

This product contains nicotine. Nicotine is an addictive chemical. If you're a smoker or dipper looking to make a change, you really only need one reason to do it. But with Zin nicotine pouches, you can find many. Zinn is America's number one nicotine pouch. It's made with only six simple ingredients. There are lots of options when it comes to nicotine satisfying. But there's only one Zinn. Learn more about Zinn and find your reason to make a change by Registering [e-mail].

[Stugatz]

Youm guys kind of groaned a little bit when Whittingham came in here. I thought I was going to get a whole lot of smiles. Me and Stugatz were thrilled, thrilled to see him. We gave him vigorous hugs. He came in with material. He's like, I've got stuff in my notes app. There are things he misses about the show, his ability to get off his hot takes. He's got nowhere to put them.

[Mike Ryan]

So I was so happy to see. But that's where he crossed the line. It's like, you want me to do more? You want me to stick around for you?

[Dan Le Batard]

Yes. But he's got 12 minutes of work.

[Stugatz]

Look, he's got Goalless that. He's doing this project on soccer that has been fun, interesting. It's blown up. Mike does it occasionally. A lot of people are listening to it these days. But you can't put what you have here.

[Dan Le Batard]

There isn't really room. All I do is Talk about Soccer247 on the podcast on the CBS Sports Colossal Network on the games that I call. I don't have room for these sorts of rant. Every once in a while I'll throw it in a group chat, but it doesn't feel the same as getting to expound upon them. I actually have a section of my notes app. It's called Organizing Brain.

[Jeremy]

Of course you do.

[Dan Le Batard]

And I have one that's called Rants. So I have two rants in case anybody wants them.

[Jeremy]

Wait, did you just come here to talk to people?

[Dan Le Batard]

No, I came here to record an episode of Goalless.

[Unknown]

Right.

[Dan Le Batard]

I actually. I arrived in Miami to call a game. I'm calling a game on Tuesday. Byron meeting against psg. I went to rent a car and I have changed my driver's license.

[Mike Ryan]

Thank you, Byron.

[Dan Le Batard]

Meetings live on Paramount plus from 3pm on Tuesday.

[Unknown]

You know the game's in Europe.

[Dan Le Batard]

Yeah. So I fly from Connecticut to Fort Lauderdale to call the games. That's How. How things make sense in our world. So I did not have a. I didn't have. I don't have a driver's license on me at this moment in time because I'm shifting from my Florida license to my Connecticut license. Easy for me to say my Connecticut license. So they wouldn't rent me a car. So I had to figure out an Uber situation to get here to record an episode of Goalless.

[Stugatz]

It's a long way of getting to. He has a brain organization in his phone and he's got two ramps.

[Dan Le Batard]

Just a couple of things. I imagine the pre show meeting is filled with. Oh, here's what I'm thinking about. Here are things that I've noticed in the world.

[Stugatz]

You'd be surprised how little of that there actually is. The pre show meeting hasn't gotten any better since you left.

[Mike Ryan]

It's gotten shorter.

[Stugatz]

It's. Yeah.

[Dan Le Batard]

How did you think you were going.

[Jeremy]

To rent a car without a license?

[Dan Le Batard]

I. Well, first off, white privilege. Well, to be fair, so I have my passport on me, but I don't have my driver's license. I thought some other form of identification. I thought a receipt that I had that showed I got this driver's license that's yet to arrive.

[Mike Ryan]

But you're driving a car that's not yours, you don't show a receipt.

[Stugatz]

He was hoping that. He was hoping they were a little looser, honestly. Basically all government systems failing would allow the DMV to let him skate on the fact I cleared driving them Responsible. Look at me.

[Dan Le Batard]

What I thought was going to happen was Avis Preferred was just going to give me a QR code, which is generally what happens. They get a QR code, you scan the QR code and then you go. Probably for the better, though, that I didn't end up driving. So I have to. I have to Uber everywhere while I'm here.

[Mike Ryan]

You were trying to cheat the system, huh? A little bit, yeah.

[Dan Le Batard]

Probably cheat.

[Stugatz]

If he walks into the dmv, aren't you assuming just based on looking at him that he's responsible? He probably has his affairs in order, just generally.

[Dan Le Batard]

I had a folder which ironically is a Florida Panthers folder that I still have that was like a gift from when I worked in radio, like five years ago with, like, basically all of my documents. I keep it on my person at all times. I have a Canadian work permit on my person at all times.

[Jeremy]

There's not a person that I could imagine being more stressed about driving around without a license, even just to go to, like, the grocery store. Than you.

[Dan Le Batard]

10 and 25 above the speed limit the entire time. I am. I would be terrified to drive around.

[Unknown]

You might turn yourself in. Just go straight to.

[Jeremy]

Citizens arrest myself officer.

[Dan Le Batard]

Go from Avis to the police station. That'd be amazing.

[Stugatz]

I'm picturing him, Kevin Spacey and seven falling in the middle of the floor in the police precinct.

[Unknown]

Tis I, one who drives without a license.

[Dan Le Batard]

And this is the manager at the at the car at the rental car place that allowed me to do this.

[Unknown]

Take my manifesto inside the Florida panther binder.

[Stugatz]

A conscience of guilt. Driving for three minutes straight to the police station to confess.

[Unknown]

Also on my way over here. Rolling stop. It felt bad about it.

[Dan Le Batard]

Didn't come to a complete stop. I did not honor the left turn arrow. I apologize.

[Mike Ryan]

So you have a bit to do or.

[Dan Le Batard]

What is this subject matter?

[Stugatz]

That's not a bit. He's got subject matter. He's got opinions.

[Dan Le Batard]

I've got two things.

[Unknown]

Okay.

[Dan Le Batard]

Wow. One is, has anyone gone to a bathroom and waved the motion sensor soap dispenser and gotten soap out of it? It never works. There's one at like, there's 10 at my job up at CBS in our building. None of them have soap in it. Every time I go to an airport, they have the motion sensor hand thing. None of them have soap in it. What happened was the button a bad system? The button of soap where it dislodges and you get a little bit. Was that a bad system? The motion sensor thing flatly doesn't work. It's been a failed experiment. We need to go back to the button. We need to go back to a bottle. We need to go back to something. Motion sensor has not worked for years.

[Mike Ryan]

You flew down to Florida for this.

[Stugatz]

I'm with him on a great take.

[Jeremy]

How many waves Seinfeld bit here.

[Unknown]

How many waves until you punt on it.

[Stugatz]

I'm with him on this.

[Dan Le Batard]

Well, and it makes a little noise.

[Unknown]

All of a sudden I'm like reaching.

[Dan Le Batard]

For other soap ones.

[Unknown]

I'm going a couple down.

[Dan Le Batard]

I'm like getting the entire sink wet from left to right.

[Unknown]

It only works.

[Dan Le Batard]

None of them have soap.

[Unknown]

They only work when the guy next to you comes up and gets it perfectly and you're like, oh, you know, the perfect rotation of hands to do this.

And they got away from the buttons because, well, you don't want the bacteria there. But you're washing your hands after.

[Dan Le Batard]

You.

[Unknown]

Got the wash. That's happening. Post button push.

[Dan Le Batard]

And we've got the motion sensor water thing nailed down. It's A great system. But the soap, dreadful. We have.

[Unknown]

We have a motion sensor garbage here. Unnecessary. You know what work doesn't work.

[Dan Le Batard]

I know what your boy. And it didn't open.

[Unknown]

You know what was plenty for me? The foot thing. I push the foot thing down, it pops up. That's all I need. I don't need a hand me every 10 minutes for the garbage.

You all sound old. I'm always touching the button and you want to talk about bacteria?

Yep. I touch that button all the time. Then I have to go wash my hands and the soap doesn't work. Now where am I at?

[Stugatz]

What he's right about.

[Dan Le Batard]

We're unclean. We're unclean.

[Stugatz]

Well, I also think this is just Miami and the service industry in general. I feel like other cities are better at this than we are.

[Dan Le Batard]

Just I'm a Connecticut residence now. I will have you know, Dan, and no better. No better up in Connecticut. It's no better. It's a dreadful system. The soap thing is a failed experiment.

[Jeremy]

Dan, I've seen this and you're going to like this. I've seen that some of those like hand sensors are racist. Like they can pick up on the race of your hand and then they sometimes work and sometimes don't.

[Dan Le Batard]

Yep. Hmm. Huh.

[Stugatz]

Why would you think that I would like that?

[Jeremy]

Just a deep dive. I know you're well read. You like to look into some of.

[Unknown]

These things you were on. Not Dan. I would.

[Dan Le Batard]

Would like that.

[Jeremy]

Oh, Jeremy would like that.

[Stugatz]

What is your second rant, Whittingham?

[Dan Le Batard]

My second rant? I'm a big high noon guy.

[Stugatz]

I'm surprised there wasn't a place for that one on goalless.

[Dan Le Batard]

So I'm a big high noon guy, and I still break it down.

[Unknown]

All the goals checks out.

[Dan Le Batard]

We can all agree that the best High Noon flavor is watermelon, right? By far the best High Noon flavor, you can't find it. Anytime you go to a liquor store, anytime you go to a publisher, they don't have High Noon. And here's what I've. I've asked questions, right? I've gone into the bars. Be like, hey, where's the watermelon? Why do you have lime, lemon, black cherry, pineapple? All the other flavors of High Noon except for the best one. The one is the very clearly the best selling version of this product that you have. Why wouldn't you want it stocked? And apparently what I've been told is, is that High Noon gets distributed in variety packs. And so Watermelon is the best selling, but they Saddle it with the worst selling flavors of High Noon to drive sales. Right, Right.

[Mike Ryan]

Mango for the bad flavors.

[Dan Le Batard]

Right. For me, it would be black cherry. It tastes like cough medicine. But they saddle it with the worst flavors. And so bars don't want watermelon because they gotta take all the other shit that comes with it. And here's what I'm saying to the great people of High Noon who make a wonderful product, just let watermelon thrive. As a matter of fact, stop making other flavors because watermelon is the only one that people seem to like. Don't staple it onto the bad ones. Especially. I want to be able. And I'm telling you, I go around all of Stanford, Connecticut. Do you have High Noon watermelon, please, sir? I'm like, I'm a man in a desert crawling on his hands and knees looking for some water.

[Unknown]

Let me get that hard stuff.

[Dan Le Batard]

And I just want me a double. I just want some High Noon watermelon at a bar. There's probably 10 bars near me. Eight of them don't have it. They have High Noon, but they don't have watermelon. Guys, if it's this good selling.

[Stugatz]

That's right. Just make more.

[Dan Le Batard]

Make the product that everyone likes and stop saddling it with the shit.

[Unknown]

Sir, this is an Olive Garden.

[Dan Le Batard]

Please leave.

[Stugatz]

Isn't that Port Noise Drink isn't High Noon, is it?

[Unknown]

Yes, it's most certainly not Miller Lights.

[Mike Ryan]

Well done.

[Unknown]

That'd be Topo Chico, which I actually favor.

Fantastic. That one's the best.

[Dan Le Batard]

Are we not allowed to observational humor about other forms of alcohol or is that you haven't been here in a while.

[Unknown]

I do have. Witty. Trying to say Connecticut.

[Stugatz]

Let's see what we've got there.

[Dan Le Batard]

Connect Connecticut.

[Mike Ryan]

Wow.

[Dan Le Batard]

Connecticut.

[Stugatz]

Yes.

[Mike Ryan]

We met.

[Stugatz]

Professional broadcast.

[Dan Le Batard]

Welcome back. I mean, I woke up at 3am for a flight this morning, but crack it up. The excuse. It's going to be terrible. Connecticut. You guys have never mispronounced a word.

[Unknown]

Woody, I have been meaning to ask you. How do you say good words but get Dan to like you?

[Dan Le Batard]

Not be so aggressive with them?

[Unknown]

Dan likes him fair.

[Dan Le Batard]

Connecticut.

[Unknown]

Howdy, folks. It's Mike making this podcast time. Miller time. That's right. Miller Lite makes all the great times even better. Why? Dependability for one great taste. Less filling. You know exactly what you get. Everybody's going to be happy because they're going to be drinking on a beer that tastes like beer. Can you imagine it? A taste that you know that you can depend on. No games, no gimmicks. Just great beer for people who like beer, and that is immense. Come this holiday season, say you're hosting or you're going over to a holiday party. What do you bring with you? A 12 pack of them Miller Lights. Beautiful color, wonderful white cans, this incredible flavor that you know only Miller Light can deliver you. And at just 96 calories and 3.2 grams of carbs per 12 ounces, miller time is always a good time. Making memories at your year end gatherings. Tastes like Miller time. Go to millerlight.com dan to find delivery options near you. Or you can pick up some Miller Lite pretty much anywhere they sell beer. Tastes like Miller Time. Celebrate responsibly. Miller Brewing Co. Milwaukee, Wisconsin 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces. Fewer calories and carbs than premium regular beer.