Summary of "Postgame Show: Hersey Hawkins' Dastardly Moustache"
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Episode: Postgame Show: Hersey Hawkins' Dastardly Moustache
Release Date: May 28, 2025
Location: Elser Hotel, Downtown Miami
In this lively postgame episode, Dan Le Batard and his co-hosts, including Stugotz, Juju, Tony, Zach Harper, Greg, and guest Billy, dive into a mix of sports analysis, humorous anecdotes, audience interactions, and spirited debates. The episode, aptly titled "Hersey Hawkins' Dastardly Moustache," centers around the hosts' playful critique of Hersey Hawkins' distinctive facial hair, while also tackling broader topics in the sports world.
1. Coaching Challenges and Penalties
The show opens with Juju proposing a hefty fine system for unsuccessful coaching challenges in sports. He suggests that players and teams should be fined $100,000 for each failed challenge, emphasizing the time wasted on referee reviews that could otherwise feature commercials.
- Juju (01:19): "I think that players and teams should be fined $100,000 each for failed challenge time."
Dan counters by highlighting the disparity in salaries, arguing that a flat fine isn't equitable across different players and sports. He proposes fines be a percentage of a player's salary to ensure fairness.
- Dan Le Batard (02:04): "Make it a percentage of your salary. That way we all feel it the same."
The discussion evolves into a critique of the current challenge system, with the hosts expressing frustration over trivial challenges, especially those occurring early in the game.
2. Critique of Coaching Strategies
A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to critiquing coaches' strategies, particularly focusing on Tom Thibodeau of the Minnesota Timberwolves. Juju argues that Thibodeau's lineup adjustments are detrimental to the team's performance, questioning his decisions to bench key players like Miles McBride.
- Juju (04:09): "He makes these lineup adjustments. He doesn't play Melissa Smith as much as I think he should."
Tony and Greg join in, expressing skepticism about Thibodeau's coaching prowess, with Juju adding that Finch (Minnesota's assistant coach) is also underperforming.
- Greg (04:35): "The personification of the Delon Wright minutes... misses the layup."
Dan humorously suggests that Juju should claim Thibodeau might coach his way back to the Sheffield Sharks, a British basketball league team, to lighten the mood.
3. Personal Anecdotes and Health Humor
Billy shares a relatable and humorous story about rescheduling a dermatologist appointment due to his doctor's maternity leave, highlighting the absurdities in scheduling processes.
- Billy (06:02): "I was like, when does the doctor come back?... So I'm like, so I guess my appointment's on a Wednesday."
The exchange showcases the hosts' ability to blend personal stories with humor, providing a break from intense sports discussions.
4. Top Five Hated Athletes
Juju reveals his list of the top five athletes he dislikes, incorporating humor and personal opinions:
- Patrick Mahomes – Due to his dominance and perhaps rivalry sentiments.
- Jeff Hornichek – Mentioned in the context of a lopsided fight with Jerry Stackhouse.
- Chuck Knobloch – Criticized for his performance and throwing accuracy.
- Hersey Hawkins – The episode's focal point, with Juju poking fun at Hawkins' "dastardly mustache."
- Juju (08:34): "It was the mustache. It was a little mustache, and that was it."
- Sasha Vuyach – Disliked for his style and attitude on the field.
- Juju (09:20): "Number one, Patrick Mahomes."
The segment is filled with banter and playful jabs, reinforcing the show's entertaining dynamic.
5. Salutes and Achievements
The hosts take a moment to congratulate Paige Beckers on her remarkable achievement in the WNBA.
- Juju (09:34): "Salute to Paige Beckers for becoming the first player in WNBA history with 60 points and 30 assists through her first five games."
This acknowledgment highlights the show's commitment to recognizing outstanding performances across different sports.
6. Audience Engagement Through Polls
Engaging the audience, the hosts present a series of interactive polls, discussing the results and their opinions:
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Peabody vs. Potties:
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Clutchness: Jalen Brunson vs. Tyrese Halliburton:
- 72% of the audience favors Halliburton, though Dan and Tony debate the merits of each player in clutch situations.
- Greg (11:37): "I think Jalen Brunson is clutch for that amount of time. Better than Halliburton."
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Statues Having Great Butts:
- 64% agree that all statues have great butts.
- Juju (12:10): "64 of the audience says yes, they do."
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Best Athlete as a Hockey Player:
- 62% of the audience disagrees that the best athlete in the world can be a hockey player.
- Dan Le Batard (12:55): "If you ask them to do it on their feet, they're not going to be as good as we."
These polls add an interactive and humorous layer to the show, fostering listener participation and lively discussion.
7. Pop Culture References and Humor
The hosts intersperse their discussions with pop culture references and humorous stories, such as Juju joking about threatening to sue UNC for misrepresenting facts—a nod to Pablo Torre's legal threats.
- Juju (10:50): "Salute to Pablo Torre threatening to sue UNC for besmirching his facts."
Additionally, Billy shares a funny exchange about his dermatologist's availability, adding to the episode's light-hearted moments.
8. Concluding Banter
As the episode nears its end, the hosts continue their playful interactions, teasing upcoming segments and maintaining the show's signature lively atmosphere.
- Dan Le Batard (13:31): "Thank you, Juju."
The episode wraps up with promises of future discussions and continued camaraderie among the hosts.
Notable Quotes with Timestamps
- Juju (01:19): "Players and teams should be fined $100,000 each for failed challenge time."
- Dan Le Batard (02:04): "Make it a percentage of your salary."
- Juju (08:34): "It was the mustache. It was a little mustache, and that was it."
- Juju (09:34): "Salute to Paige Beckers for becoming the first player in WNBA history with 60 points and 30 assists through her first five games."
- Dan Le Batard (12:55): "If you ask them to do it on their feet, they're not going to be as good as we."
Conclusion
"Postgame Show: Hersey Hawkins' Dastardly Moustache" delivers a comprehensive blend of sports critique, personal stories, audience engagement, and humor. Dan Le Batard and his team expertly navigate through serious discussions about coaching and player performance while maintaining a light-hearted and entertaining atmosphere. This episode underscores the show's ability to engage listeners with diverse content, making it a must-listen for sports enthusiasts and casual fans alike.