Postgame Show: Tight End U

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz Episode: Postgame Show: Tight End U
Release Date: July 18, 2025

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1. Upcoming UFC 318 and MMA Hangout Promotion [01:38 - 02:43]

The episode kicks off with a promotion for UFC 318, highlighting the highly anticipated trilogy fight between Dustin Poirier and Max Holloway. Roy enthusiastically announces:

"Over the weekend we've got UFC 318, Dustin Poirier's final dance in New Orleans in Louisiana. His trilogy against Max Holloway." [01:38]

Mike chimed in with his perspective on the current state of UFC:

"I've gone a couple cards without watching them. UFC, I think, to me, is in a dip." [02:24]

This segment sets the stage for the show's focus on sports, particularly combat sports, emphasizing the dynamics and fan expectations around major events.

2. Roy’s Quest to Join College Football as a Tight End [03:07 - 10:34]

A significant portion of the episode revolves around Roy's endeavor to return to college football. He discusses reaching out to a general manager through the show, aiming to secure a tryout for a Division 3 (D3) tight end position.

Roy explains his situation:

"D3 is for anyone who wants to play football." [03:07]

He collaborates with teammates Mike and Tony, who offer support and strategies to enhance his prospects. Tony suggests training Roy to improve his skills:

"Let me train you. Give me a month to train your routes, and then we can do a workout and let Dominique decide." [04:15]

The conversation delves into the challenges Roy faces due to his age and previous athletic pursuits, with humorous exchanges about his readiness and physical condition:

"How old are you now?"
"33."
"That's a little old, but it is. You still got enough left in the tank." [04:38]

Roy's determination is evident as he outlines his plans to attend tight end camps and prepare for tryouts, showcasing the camaraderie and supportive dynamics among the hosts.

3. Athletic Aspirations and Training Anecdotes [10:34 - 16:46]

The discussion transitions into lighter topics about training and athletic ambitions. Tony humorously contemplates transforming Roy into a tight end within a short timeframe:

"I can turn him into a tight end. You give me a month and he will look like you'll be able to see that." [08:55]

Roy and Tony brainstorm practical steps for Roy’s transition, including arranging workouts and involving family members in his training regimen. Kristen adds to the banter with observations about their athletic pursuits:

"I come in today and Frankie, our security guard, like the two of them, Frankie's like showing me his biceps and how strong he is." [07:08]

This segment highlights the hosts' playful interactions and mutual support as they navigate Roy's athletic dreams.

4. Top Five Childhood Memories – A Nostalgic Journey [11:05 - 16:46]

Shifting gears, the show delves into a heartfelt segment where Roy shares his Top Five Things He Misses from His Childhood, spanning the late '90s and early 2000s. This nostalgic journey touches on both fond and challenging memories, providing a relatable and engaging narrative for listeners.

Key Memories Discussed:

1. Dial-Up Internet and Limewire: Roy reminisces about the anticipation of connecting to the internet and the experience of downloading music illegally:

   "I miss downloading music illegally. Limewire." [11:58]

   Mike adds his own memories of imperfect downloads:

   "I spent 90 minutes trying to download this song. And why is... the screen blue?" [12:01]

2. Buying Tickets in Person: The hosts reflect on the old-school method of purchasing event tickets without the convenience fees of modern apps:

   "I used to do that for, like, games. I'd save... and then they started charging me a convenience fee." [14:23]

3. Home Phones and Landlines: Roy shares moments of adolescence involving landline calls, contrasted with today's mobile-centric communication:

   "I miss a good home phone. Like a landline." [14:47]

   Mike humorously recalls the anxiety of speaking to a friend's parent:

   "I miss being a teenager, calling my friend's house to see if he's home, and then talking to the weird dad." [15:04]

4. Quarterback Coin Toss Rituals: Nostalgia extends to playful traditions like tossing coins during football games:

   "I would be in the passenger seat... throw this in the... and then it goes." [15:40]

5. Smoking Sections in Restaurants: Roy details memories of dining experiences where smoking was segregated, juxtaposed with today’s smoke-free environments:

   "I remember Heat. Watching a Heat Knicks playoff game there. 99." [16:12]

   Mike questions the timeline, reflecting on the decline of smoking areas:

   "When did smoking sections go away in South Florida?" [16:35]

This segment not only evokes a sense of nostalgia but also opens up discussions about how far society has come in terms of technology and social norms.

5. Concluding Remarks [16:38 - 16:46]

As the episode draws to a close, the hosts wrap up the nostalgic segment with reflections on past experiences, reinforcing the bond among them and with their audience.

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Notable Quotes:

• "D3 is for anyone who wants to play football." – Roy [03:07]
• "I've gone a couple cards without watching them. UFC, I think, to me, is in a dip." – Mike [02:24]
• "Let me train you. Give me a month to train your routes, and then we can do a workout and let Dominique decide." – Tony [04:15]
• "I miss downloading music illegally. Limewire." – Roy [11:58]

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Conclusion:

In this episode of The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz, the hosts blend sports discussions with personal stories, creating an engaging and multifaceted narrative. From the anticipation of UFC 318 to Roy's passionate attempt to rejoin college football, and a heartfelt trip down memory lane, the show offers listeners a rich tapestry of conversations that resonate on both professional and personal levels.

Transcript

[Kristen]

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[Mike]

Now's a good time to remember where Tequila's story truly began. In 1795, Cuervo invented tequila.

[Tony]

Cuervo.

[Mike]

What are you doing here?

[Tony]

Cuervo?

[Roy]

Anytime someone says Cuervo, I show up.

[Mike]

Well, I do know that to be true. But even during ad reads like Cuervo, I think he could lay out especially for one of our great partners.

[Roy]

Sweet, delicious Cuervo.

[Mike]

Since then, Cuervo has stayed true to its roots. The same family, the same land, the same passion.

[Tony]

Cuervo.

[Mike]

So enjoy the tequila that started it all. Cuervo.

[Tony]

Cuervo.

[Mike]

The tequila that invented tequila. Proximo Cuervo.com Please drink responsibly Cuervo.

[Roy]

Boys. Over the weekend we've got UFC 318, Dustin Poirier's final dance in New Orleans in Louisiana. His trilogy against Max Holloway. Mike, I know you're going to be excited for that one. That's a banger of a main event. Two guys that have gone fight each other throughout their entire careers. Max Holloway was his. His first fight was against Dustin Poirier and now all these years later, he finishes it with the trilogy. We're going to be hanging out MMA hangout this Saturday 10pm on the YouTube, on Twitter, on Twitch, wherever you watch us. Presented by Boost Mobile. The boys will be out there doing their thing, watching one of the greatest to ever do it. Maybe cement his legacy against an absolute dog in Max Holloway. So, Dustin Poirier, Max Holloway 3, UFC 318 MMA Hangout, presented by the boys of Boost Mobile.

[Mike]

I've gone a couple cards without watching them. Ufc, I think, to me, is in a dip. They. They're. And I know for the people that follow the fight game closely, like you, you and Louis do a great job on MMA Hangout. The cards haven't been doing it. Life got in the way. I think a lot of that honestly has to do with the Panthers playoff push, so it hasn't been a top priority.

[Roy]

Oliveira was special.

[Mike]

I'm coming back for this one. This is a really good. And I have heard, Tony, I have a source, a general manager that has reached out to me that listens to this show, and he says that his dad is a D2, D3 big time coach in college. Right. And he says with certainty, D3 is for anyone who wants to play football.

[Roy]

Okay, so what I want you to do is screenshot that, send that to Dominique Foxworth. Okay. And just lock that in with him. Try. Just so he knows kind of where. Where this is.

[Tony]

Yeah, where the floor is.

[Mike]

Where the floor you want to play football in D3.

[Roy]

Yeah. Play football.

[Mike]

You can. They'll take anybody.

[Tony]

Did Dominique say you couldn't play D3 football?

[Roy]

That's what he was implying. He didn't specifically say D3. He just says, you couldn't play college football. Not thinking, hey, there's levels of D1, D2, D3, NAI, JUCO, all these different levels to play. So basically what he was saying is you couldn't play D1 football. Which was never what I said.

[Tony]

Right.

[Kristen]

But if the text was literally anyone can play D3 football, then I.

[Roy]

Then I'm literally. I am part of literally anyone.

[Kristen]

So massive, it's implied, but it's a flex.

[Roy]

The whole point is I could do.

[Kristen]

It, but anyone could.

[Roy]

Right? And that's the point that I'm trying to make to Dominique. From the overall point is what we talked about, Hawk, if I would have put on, you know, another 20, 30 pounds, I could have played D. Something football.

[Tony]

Definitely D2.

[Mike]

You showed Dominique Foxworth. You said, do this, and literally anyone can.

[Roy]

That's the whole point. I want you to text that gm. Text, text that gm, Let them know on site I'm available for tryouts.

[Mike]

I think I can get you a tryout with this gm, dude, let's go.

[Roy]

I'm on.

[Mike]

All right.

[Tony]

If you let me. Let me train you. All right, let's go. Let me train you. Give me a month to train your routes, and then we can do a workout and let Dominique decide.

[Roy]

I'm ready if Dominique's got to put cleats on and come guard me. How about that?

[Tony]

Oh, okay. I mean, you might be getting a little in over there.

[Roy]

No, I'm just saying so he can see where we're at.

[Tony]

Let's just start with the workout. Let's just. Let's just test my eye for talent and my eye to see the ability in you.

[Roy]

I'm ready.

[Tony]

How old are you now?

[Roy]

33.

[Tony]

That's a little old, but it is. You still got enough left in the tank, so you can. You can basically say, okay, if I see two or three times. 33. I know what you could have been at. 19.

[Roy]

Exactly. Still got a block, though, man. Yeah, that's fine. And throw a chip here and there. Yeah.

[Tony]

I mean, not in today's game. Roy, you do got a block, but also at the D, he talked about FIU being a walk on. I'm going to show that he has the ability to be a walk on at Florida International University.

[Roy]

There you go.

[Mike]

All right. We can beat this.

[Kristen]

But he didn't. He tried. And they.

[Roy]

But the problem is they screwed me out of their football, though. They screwed me out of the football.

[Tony]

Yeah, but I mean, you. That was probably your best shot without the footballs.

[Roy]

No, I would have been. Trust. No disrespect, trust me, it would have been better if I had.

[Tony]

That's the harder position to walk on at, is what I'm saying. There's only certain spots.

[Roy]

But the thing is, I can get away with not having the football if I was playing linebacker. Right. But like, as a quarterback, football is probably the best part of the tryout is me having the football, throwing said football.

[Mike]

Hey, he's.

[Tony]

But you throwing the football, it wouldn't have increased your chances of making the team.

[Roy]

I think a little bit.

[Kristen]

He's saying if they would have actually seen your abilities, you would have not made the team faster than them not being able to.

[Tony]

It would have been a quicker decision.

[Mike]

That is what he's saying.

[Roy]

Hawk hasn't seen me throw.

[Kristen]

I want to see you throw.

[Roy]

He's trying. No, no. And. And I'm. I'm helping him help.

[Tony]

I've seen the videos of you throwing. I love the. You're not a bad throw. Like, people can throw. That's. That's a part like that you can throw.

[Roy]

We haven't gone out. We haven't gone out to the field.

[Tony]

Walking on at a Division 1 level, at the quarterback position, it's a different game. These are guys that like, hey, I threw for 3,000 yards my senior year, but I' five' 11, right. Or like, I'm six' three, but I'm a buck 66. And I played at, you know, Pines Charter and nobody, nobody saw me, right? Nobody saw me. So I'm gonna stay local because I get in state tuition and I'm gonna walk. Those are like what the. The walk on quarterback spots are reserved for. So when you threw the ball and said, I didn't play quarterback, I mean, they might have, they might have made the decision the moment they knew you didn't play quarterback in your senior year. Like you weren't in high school. That's just probably why you try quarterback.

[Kristen]

If you didn't play quarterback.

[Tony]

He wanted to be the man.

[Roy]

I did play quarterback. The problem is I left to go play basketball. Yes, we know this. Again, we're not going to relate to this, Mike.

[Mike]

Well, we'll set this up.

[Roy]

Wide receiver camp, tight end, tight end camp, tight end. You. This is my. This is like the first, the first try, like trial and test to try and go to tight end. You for real. I know you got hookups over there.

[Tony]

Oh, yeah, I can make a call.

[Kristen]

Wait, now you're going to go to tight end U?

[Tony]

Yeah.

[Roy]

Because now we graduate from media.

[Tony]

You tight end, media titan.

[Kristen]

You're getting a 10 day contract with the Heat.

[Roy]

That's still. We're still working on that. They need that, by the way. They need me.

[Tony]

I'm going to get them right, bro. You're going to see his workout. We're going to put together a highlight tape. You guys are going to be like, damn.

[Kristen]

Can I tell you, you are the football about his working out. That I know. So I come in today and Frankie, our security guard, like the two of them, Frankie's like showing me his biceps and how strong he is. And I'm still not sure why, but he was doing that.

[Mike]

I was like, well, he was telling.

[Roy]

Me that he's only eating eggs for the rest of the week.

[Kristen]

I missed that part of it because I was talking about, you know, Kristen being a dog mom and how I don't think that she should because then she can't do things. But so then the two of them are just kind of flexing and having a conscious of who has bigger muscles or whatever.

[Roy]

That was not a flex off. I was showing him a bruise that I had on my inner bicep right here. That's all I was doing was I was showing.

[Kristen]

Yeah, exactly. So they're just doing.

[Mike]

That hurts.

[Kristen]

And then they were talking about how they're going to go running now because they want eight packs, the two of them, and how they're going to go running to the Key Biscayne Bridge, which is like down the street, which is. It's not far, but it's not close. And I was like, you're going to run over the Key Biscayne Bridge? You're just running to it. He's like, no, no, we're not doing that. So then I come in here and he shows me his water bottle. He's talking about this run that him and Frank are going to do to get their apex. So I come, I come in here and I was like, so, like, what time are you going to run? He's like, I'm not running over there today. I'm not running. So this workout you think you're going to put him through? Like, I think he likes to talk about the workout, but it's really the follow through which is the problem.

[Tony]

Here's the lens.

[Mike]

Sometimes the lens isn't there for him.

[Roy]

The lens.

[Kristen]

I was told I couldn't bring that up anymore.

[Roy]

I didn't bring it up. You brought it up. What the problem is, Frankie likes us to bring these things up like two minutes before you see, like you kind of go.

[Kristen]

But if you're in shape, two minute heads up isn't that bad.

[Roy]

Yeah, but the problem is now I have a kid like my wife doing things. Like, I have things to do. I can't just like drop everything and run to the keep it's game. Bridge, baby, under the bus. So when he tells me, hey, hey, we're going to do this, I know he's being facetious. I know he's joking around because I know he's.

[Kristen]

You're wearing shorts for running today. Like very short. Short. You could run today.

[Roy]

I could, but I'm not go run. I choose not to run.

[Tony]

I can turn him into a tight end.

[Kristen]

That's all that time.

[Mike]

We will do that.

[Tony]

You give me a month and he will look, he will look like you'll be able to see that. He could have played college football at the tight end.

[Mike]

I don't think we got a month. Can you do it inside of 20 minutes?

[Tony]

20 minutes? I can't do.

[Roy]

We have a ball.

[Kristen]

Give him a month. I mean, I know that there's a lot of people on their, their athletic journeys at the moment and Roy is doing some Some athletic stuff behind the scenes that he's trying to live out his athletic dreams. Tony's trying to live out athletic dreams. So, like, I think that you could add.

[Tony]

I participated in wide receiver workshop. Yeah, I really. I'm thinking about it, man. I was joking at the beginning. Now I'm like. I'm, like, at the 20% mark of, like, now I'm not in. What 20%. Serious. What's for flag football? 20.

[Kristen]

28.

[Tony]

But I'll be 42.

[Kristen]

Yeah.

[Tony]

So that'll be tough. But I feel like me at 42 is, like, a normal person's 27.

[Kristen]

Have you looked up, like, dual citizenship anywhere where you could. Like, I'll make the Olympics, but, like.

[Tony]

I mean, the good thing is I can play both ways.

[Kristen]

Okay.

[Tony]

Yeah. So I can play DB and I can play wide receiver.

[Kristen]

Yeah. Top five dicks.

[Tony]

It's crazy. I can. I'm very versatile in a flag football field, so.

[Roy]

Okay, so we got a month.

[Mike]

You set it up.

[Roy]

You tell me what day. You tell me what time. I'm there. I got cleats. I got. I got.

[Tony]

I got everything.

[Kristen]

That's half the battle. You got the cleats.

[Tony]

You need a quarterback, and I don't know any guys that can throw.

[Roy]

Tony, I would be the quarterback.

[Kristen]

You can't throw to your hand.

[Tony]

Like I said, I don't know any guys that can throw to the level we need. Okay, we'll figure it out.

[Roy]

Jeremy. My brother can throw. My brother can throw a baseball.

[Tony]

I'll call my brother.

[Roy]

Yeah, but if you're teaching me, you can't throw it to me. Also, you got to be.

[Kristen]

Yeah, so your brother's gonna be your quarterback.

[Roy]

My brother can be the quarterback. My brother can throw.

[Tony]

Got it.

[Roy]

So we'll bring my brother along. He'll be the quarterback. You teach me. We work on drills, whatever. Got the ladder?

[Mike]

Does he lick his fingers before he throws?

[Roy]

Not every time.

[Kristen]

What happened to your brother's football career?

[Roy]

Never. Never started.

[Tony]

Oh.

[Roy]

Never played. He played basketball.

[Tony]

Runs in the family. Goodness gracious.

[Kristen]

I don't understand why you both gave up on football to have failing basketball careers if you could have been so successful at football.

[Roy]

Yeah, I think about that often, actually.

[Tony]

That's unfortunate.

[Kristen]

Top five regrets?

[Roy]

That's one of them.

[Tony]

Play us out.

[Mike]

You've got a different top five, don't you? Me?

[Roy]

Yes, I do, actually.

[Mike]

Top five things that you miss from your childhood.

[Roy]

Top five things I miss from my childhood. And that's from the late 90s, early 2000s. Are you guys ready? For this one.

[Tony]

Let's do it.

[Roy]

And this might not be. This might not be the list that you think it is. So I'm gonna say things that. No things that I miss. But it may not all be good things. It might be some bad things, but that I miss them. Does that make sense? From weddings, 90s and 2000s.

[Kristen]

Don't say 9. 11.

[Roy]

Like toxic number 5. Dial up Internet wasn't great, but like the. And you're like. Sounds like you were like building a machine inside your, you know, parents room or wherever it was.

[Mike]

The anticipation.

[Roy]

I miss it. And it's like I'm connecting. And it's like, oh, we're almost there.

[Kristen]

Oh, mom, get off the phone. And the phone rings.

[Tony]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Mike]

I miss downloading music illegally.

[Roy]

Yeah. Limewire.

[Mike]

Yeah, that was fun. That.

[Roy]

I mean, that's an Oli lime wire.

[Mike]

It made you feel so more deeply connected to the song. And then you would get it and you'd realize, oh, no. Why is the version. Why is flex all over this? Shut up. They just looped the chorus. I. I spent 90 minutes trying to download this song. And why is. Why is the. Why is the screen blue? Why is the disturbed. Wow.

[Roy]

Thanks to groovy bastard.

[Tony]

Oh, man. Dallup Internet is an undercover good one because I also missed miss having to manually connect. But also the benefits of being able to disconnect.

[Roy]

All right.

[Tony]

In a world now where you never feel like can you're off the grid or like they like people don't have access to you your whereabouts, it felt good to be able to opt in to being connected and then click it off. And I'm gone. I'm a ghost now.

[Mike]

I have a toxic trait that dates back to like the Kaza Limewire days, which is if I hear a song from an error in which I downloaded that song illegally, if I hear the normal version of the song, I will start adding the parts that I remember from when I illegally downloaded from the pirated version. So, like, if you hear if fabulous is going, y' all can't deny it. I'll just go new fabulous like, in the background because it was a part. There's this killer song. And I know there's a lot of people that are with me on this level right now. There is a when you were young version that was on like Limewire back in the day where you just hear K rock before it gets into it, because that's where someone clipped the clip, the illegal stream and put it on the. The file sharing service. And I guarantee you there Are about a half dozen 40 year olds in those killer concerts that'll just under their breath go gay rock.

[Tony]

I mean, that's how they used to break records back in the day. Like, yes, let me, like, give it to the streets first. Real trap shit, you know what I mean? And it was like, yo, if it's a real trap, I got all the exclusives. Canon, come here. Canon. Yeah, Canon mixtape number.

[Roy]

Having to buy tickets in person. You couldn't buy them on the phone, you know, Like, I couldn't buy them on an app. I couldn't go. I had to go to the movie theater. I had to go to the game. Had to go to one of these things and, like, actually burn.

[Tony]

My parents go to roll call. Yeah, I still. I'm. I'll hit the box office.

[Roy]

You save money.

[Kristen]

I used to. I used to do that for, like, games. Like, I go on off days. Like, I go to, like, the triple A if I want to go to the heat game and go like, on an off day, because I'd save, like, convenience fees. And then they started charging me a convenience fee. I'm like, this is inconvenient. Like, you should be paying me. I had to drive over here.

[Tony]

What's the most convenient way for you to sell tickets? Yeah, it's hand to hand.

[Kristen]

What are you. What am I giving you this fee for?

[Tony]

Yeah, I'm with you, man.

[Roy]

Number three, home phones. I miss a good home phone. Like a landline? Yeah, like a landline. You would have the. They had the wired ones, but then the wireless ones came out. And then you were on the phone like, yo, what's up? Let's link up.

[Mike]

I miss being a teenager, calling my friend's house to see if he's home, and then talking to the weird dad. That scared me. I don't like that.

[Roy]

Yeah, like.

[Mike]

Yes. Is Tony home? No, he's out playing with his friends. All right, sir.

[Roy]

I'm one of his friends too, sir. I just wanted to let you know that.

[Tony]

Thank you.

[Mike]

And then you call back the second time, still not there. And you're bothering this dude. I'm like, I'm so sorry.

[Tony]

I'm never tying up the phone line.

[Mike]

I'll just not live.

[Roy]

Mom's trying to get on the Internet. She can't because you keep calling. Who is this guy Mike?

[Tony]

Who is he?

[Roy]

Why did he keep calling me? Number two, throwing the coin in the top booth when you wipe by the tool basket. Yeah, of course.

[Kristen]

You never did that. I gotta hear your parents car. Like, they roll down the window, of course.

[Roy]

Yeah. I would be. I would be in the passenger seat. Be like, bobby, throw this in the. And then I throw it over and then it goes.

[Kristen]

If it bounced out was the worst.

[Mike]

They would be very like, these rim protectors sometimes. Yeah, that was annoying that they didn't want you to have a swoosh sound.

[Roy]

Yeah. I missed those, though.

[Mike]

It would ricochet off of it. And then you're, like, getting out of your car because that was your last.

[Roy]

Quarter and people are honking behind you.

[Mike]

And you're like, yeah, I'm sorry. I gotta get changed now. I have these braces over the number.

[Roy]

One smoking sections in restaurants. I miss. I miss them. I miss them.

[Mike]

There's no way you have a memory of that.

[Roy]

Of course I do. I remember. I remember vividly going to the Ale House. Going to the Ale House, the Miller Ale House, right there on Kendall, 1 15th or whatever that would be. And I remember them being like, smoking or not smoking to my dad. And they'd be like, non smoking. But then we'd be sitting right next to the smoking section. The smoke would just go over the booth.

[Mike]

It would always go over.

[Roy]

I remember that vividly. I remember Heat. Watching a Heat Knicks playoff game there. 99.

[Mike]

No way.

[Roy]

99. Am I. Am I on the.

[Mike]

There's no way, Mike.

[Roy]

I'm telling you.

[Mike]

When did smoking sections go away in South Florida?

[Roy]

I don't know.

[Mike]

But I remember one memory of a.

[Roy]

Bennegans, the same one just up the street from that Miller's Ale House.

[Kristen]

Yeah, that is true.

[Roy]

Steak and Alex.