PTFO - Share & F*ck Around & Tell with Michael Cruz Kayne and Katie Nolan

Summary

Podcast Summary: PTFO - Share & F*ck Around & Tell with Michael Cruz Kane and Katie Nolan

Release Date: June 20, 2025

In this engaging episode of PTFO, hosts Pablo Torre, Katie Nolan, and Michael Cruz Kane delve into a variety of topics ranging from nostalgic music to personal anecdotes and musical experiments. Here's a detailed breakdown of their discussions:

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1. Rediscovering Nostalgic Music (00:37 - 02:15)

The episode kicks off with a conversation about the song "Something About You" by Level 42. Pablo Torre expresses his newfound obsession with the track, prompting Katie Nolan and Michael Cruz Kane to reminisce about its catchy bassline.

• Katie Nolan: “That base is filthy.” ([02:01])

• Michael Cruz Kane: “We love a base.” ([02:03])

Pablo humorously references the show's interactive elements, explaining the "Pablo Explains" menu option and hinting at choosing to "F around" more in future episodes.

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2. The Origin of the Tar Heels (Balance of Carolina Significance) (04:12 - 06:16)

The trio shifts focus to the North Carolina Tar Heels, exploring the historical context behind the team’s name. They discuss its origin related to the state's production of tar and turpentine during colonial times.

• Pablo Torre: “I'm a Tar Heel born, I'm a Tar Heel bred and when I die, I'm a Tar Heel dead.” ([05:21])

• Katie Nolan: “My heels are stuck right here.” ([05:37])

The conversation touches on misconceptions about the name, with Katie joking about its connection to cigarettes.

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3. Snack Pack Shenanigans (07:07 - 08:19)

A light-hearted segment ensues as Pablo introduces a "snack pack," sparking humorous reactions from Katie, who immediately labels it as "gross."

• Katie Nolan: “Gross.” ([07:25])

• Pablo Torre: “Great protein and dairy and some artisanal crackers.” ([08:00])

They playfully debate the contents of the snack pack, comparing it to an adult version of Lunchables.

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4. Personal Health Anecdotes: Eczema and Injuries (09:01 - 17:35)

Michael Cruz Kane shares a personal story about accidentally consuming marijuana-infused brownies, leading to a paralyzing experience by the pool.

• Michael Cruz Kane: “My arms and legs would not move... I guess I'm here for a while.” ([09:14])

The conversation evolves into discussing Michael's struggle with radial head eczema, leading to a humorous yet informative exchange about medical conditions and treatments.

• Katie Nolan: “If it doesn't hurt and it curves a certain way, you could just leave it.” ([18:07])

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5. Musical Ventures: Introducing the Omnichord (22:12 - 37:44)

Michael unveils his new Omnichord, an electronic musical instrument, sparking excitement among the hosts. They explore its features, discuss its design, and attempt to create music together.

• Michael Cruz Kane: “It's like a keyboard. Nothing change.” ([37:18])

• Katie Nolan: “This is like if Chris Martin was in Zelda.” ([36:36])

The hosts humorously attempt to mimic Coldplay's "Fix You," leading to laughter and lighthearted critique of their musical skills.

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6. Attempted Musical Performance: "Fix You" by Coldplay (37:44 - 47:33)

In a bold experiment, the hosts attempt to perform "Fix You" using their Omnichords. Despite initial enthusiasm, the performance turns comical as they struggle with the instrument's complexities and their lack of musical proficiency.

• Michael Cruz Kane: “I don't. I don't know what chords they are.” ([37:43])

• Katie Nolan: “When you try your best, but you don't succeed.” ([46:31])

Katie humorously laments her discomfort singing directly to the microphone, while Michael expresses anxiety over potential ridicule.

• Katie Nolan: “When you try your best, but you don't succeed, you get what you want but not what you need.” ([46:20])

The segment concludes with laughter and light-hearted self-deprecation, highlighting the camaraderie among the hosts.

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7. Closing Remarks and Final Thoughts (47:33 - End)

As the episode draws to a close, the hosts reflect on the day's activities, expressing amusement over their musical endeavors and the overall fun of the episode.

• Pablo Torre: “This has been Pablo Torre Finds Out a Meadowlark Media production and I'll talk to you next time.” ([47:23])

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Notable Quotes:

• “That base is filthy.” — Katie Nolan ([02:01])

• “I'm a Tar Heel born, I'm a Tar Heel bred and when I die, I'm a Tar Heel dead.” — Pablo Torre ([05:21])

• “If it doesn't hurt and it curves a certain way, you could just leave it.” — Katie Nolan ([18:07])

• “This is like if Chris Martin was in Zelda.” — Katie Nolan ([36:36])

• “When you try your best, but you don't succeed, you get what you want but not what you need.” — Katie Nolan ([46:31])

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Conclusion

This episode of PTFO offers a delightful mix of nostalgia, personal stories, and humorous experiments. From dissecting the history of the Tar Heels to embarking on a musical journey with the Omnichord, Pablo, Katie, and Michael provide listeners with an entertaining and relatable experience. Their candid conversations and playful banter make for a memorable episode that showcases their unique chemistry and sense of humor.

Transcript

[Pablo Torre]

PA I'm Pablo Torre and this episode of Pablo Torre Finds out is brought to you by Remy Martin. 1738 Accord Royale. Exceptionally smooth cognac for all your game day festivities. Please drink responsibly because today we're going to find out what this sound is. What? Right after this ad.

[Katie Nolan]

Savor every last drop of summer with Starbucks. From bold refreshers to rich cold brews, the sunniest season only gets better with a handcrafted ice beverage in your hand. Available for a limited time, your summer favorites are ready at Starbucks. This episode is brought to you by State Farm. Knowing you could be saving money for the things you really want is a great feeling. Talk to a State Farm agent today to learn how you can choose to bundle and save with a personal price plan. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Prices are based on rating plans that vary by state. Coverage options are selected by the customer. Availability, amount of discounts, and savings and eligibility vary by state. I'm fixating on an old song that I've rediscovered. I can't stop listening to it. I mean, what is this? Huh?

[Pablo Torre]

Something about you by level 42, which I'm fading out for legal reasons.

[Katie Nolan]

Come on.

[Pablo Torre]

I. I would just want to vibe to that.

[Katie Nolan]

It's so good. We got such a vibe.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

What's it called? Level 42.

[Katie Nolan]

That's the band. I was going to let it get to the chorus so people could know they've heard it before. Cuz I promise you both we can.

[Pablo Torre]

Skip to the chorus.

[Katie Nolan]

That base is filthy.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

We love a base.

[Pablo Torre]

We love a base on this.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Is that. Is that a Sharon tell or is that just a snack for you?

[Katie Nolan]

Ch. A snack? Is this a shit?

[Pablo Torre]

It is a literal snap.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I was told to don't open it.

[Katie Nolan]

What's going on?

[Pablo Torre]

Okay, I'm jumping in here to say that if you Watch PTFO on YouTube, you probably know that the Nintendo adjacent style sound effect, the doot doot doot doot that you just heard visually triggers an actual role playing game style menu with a little animated version of me who explains stuff. Which is why internally the PTFO staff calls these voiceovers that I do RPGs. Anyway, I say all of this because Katie Nolan's question today. What is going on? Is a good one. Numerous Pablo Torre finds out. Observers have observed that we have always chosen the Pablo Explains menu option, but I have never actually selected the second option that is shown right beneath Pablo Explains, which is simply F around. But after repeatedly forcing Share and Tell regulars Katie Nolan and Michael Cruz Kane to Be guinea pigs in what some critics have called the future of journalism. And still others have called your stupid Bill Belichick, Jordan Hudson episodes. I realized something. I realized that it was probably time to. Just around. I've somehow explained less about what we're doing here today than I have in previous episodes, which is crazy. Also explain nothing.

[Katie Nolan]

Right.

[Pablo Torre]

Which is not just crazy. I have been reflecting.

[Katie Nolan]

Okay.

[Pablo Torre]

And I think I owe you guys.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah.

[Pablo Torre]

An episode where we just get to chill.

[Katie Nolan]

Yes.

[Pablo Torre]

With surprises in the center of the table. No, I sent a group chat to you guys, and it was just hello. And Katie's response was, oh. And I was like, I need a. We need. We need to reestablish our friendship.

[Katie Nolan]

Anytime I hear in this group text, I go, oh, Jesus Christ, what'd she do now? Yeah, but this wasn't about. It's not about her.

[Pablo Torre]

Well, so technically.

[Katie Nolan]

Oh, no.

[Pablo Torre]

It has been now 50 days since our many, many, many, many, many public records requests were filed and not fulfilled.

[Katie Nolan]

Oh, no.

[Pablo Torre]

So that's. That is happening in a parallel track alongside this. North Carolina administrators. If you're listening to this and come.

[Katie Nolan]

On and raise up.

[Pablo Torre]

Raise up.

[Katie Nolan]

Take your shirt off.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Heels, heels up. What do they say? They must have a thing.

[Pablo Torre]

Oh, what's their. What's their. Like, their slogan?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Heels up.

[Katie Nolan]

Click your heels.

[Pablo Torre]

What is North Carolina Tar Heels slogan?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Go, go blue.

[Pablo Torre]

They have a song called I'm a Tar Heel Born. Do you want to listen to what that sounds like for a second?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I do.

[Katie Nolan]

That's not as good as something about you.

[Pablo Torre]

Oh, it doesn't have the lyrics spoken.

[Katie Nolan]

Maybe you could sing them.

[Pablo Torre]

You get the gist. I'm a Tar Heel born, I'm a Tar Heel bred and when I die, I'm a Tar Heel dead.

[Katie Nolan]

Nice.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Wow. Tar Heel. It's Tar Heel because, like, they wouldn't run, Right. Like, they were. They were brave. I think that's why they're called. I think that's why they're called.

[Katie Nolan]

I just figured they made tar.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I thought it was because, like, they.

[Katie Nolan]

Were cigarettes and they made those.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I ain't. I ain't gonna flee.

[Pablo Torre]

Right.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

My heels are stuck right here.

[Katie Nolan]

Did you Google it at all, or that was just all you put?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Just all rattling around in here instead of, like, you know, information that I need. That's what I got.

[Pablo Torre]

Far Heel State. Okay, here you go. In its early years as a colony, North Carolina became an important source of the naval stores of tar and turpentine.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Nope.

[Katie Nolan]

Which they then put in cigarettes.

[Pablo Torre]

Didn't I Not seeing that quite yet.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Well, what about heel, though?

[Pablo Torre]

Here we go.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Heel.

[Pablo Torre]

The troops from other states call us Tar Heels. I am proud of the name, as tar is a sticky substance and the Tar Heel stuck up like a sick kitten to a hot brick, while many others from a more oily state sick.

[Katie Nolan]

Kitten to a hot brick.

[Pablo Torre]

And left the Tar Heels to stick it out. This is from an 1863 article in a rally newspaper in which a Confederate soldier from North Carolina is quoted saying what he just said.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

The Tar Heels stick it out.

[Katie Nolan]

Sick kitten to a hot brick.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Sick kitten to a hot brick. That's bars right there. He was dropping, as they said at that time, some bars.

[Pablo Torre]

You are praising a Confederate soldier's bars.

[Katie Nolan]

Whoa, not me. I'm distancing myself from anything he just said.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Look, I don't agree with stuff that they say, but the rappers from the Confederacy were incredible.

[Katie Nolan]

I don't think that's true, actually.

[Pablo Torre]

So I. I have a snack pack. We have a container of something that Katie does not know. But I know and Michael knows.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I barely know.

[Katie Nolan]

I just thought it was a. What's the one, everyone?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Pickleball.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

It's not a pickleball hitter.

[Katie Nolan]

It's a violin.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Nope.

[Katie Nolan]

Okay.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

It is what it says, but that's not gonna. That's not gonna explain. That's not gonna help you.

[Katie Nolan]

It says Omnicord. Omnichord. Oh, is it a ukulele?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Nope.

[Katie Nolan]

Okay, sure. What are we doing here?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

So far so good.

[Katie Nolan]

What's the purpose today? That meat's not going to open, is it?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Honestly, I'll eat a gusto pack. I'm not afraid to.

[Pablo Torre]

So much of my diet is gusto packs. Small batch artisanal meats.

[Katie Nolan]

Oh, gross.

[Pablo Torre]

Smooth vontina cheese, artisanal crackers, general mild salami.

[Katie Nolan]

Gross.

[Pablo Torre]

Snack pack. Keep refrigerated with the chocolate.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Oh, it's got a little fruit bar. It's got a fruit bar.

[Katie Nolan]

There's no fruit bar.

[Pablo Torre]

This is.

[Katie Nolan]

This is just cheese, meat, crackers.

[Pablo Torre]

Great protein and dairy and some artisanal crackers.

[Katie Nolan]

No. Yuck.

[Pablo Torre]

This is. This is the adult lunchable.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Yes, very true. We have a lot of those in my home.

[Katie Nolan]

Probably much more expensive.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Oh, yeah. A lot of salt in there, baby. Oh, yeah.

[Pablo Torre]

I don't wanna. I don't wanna.

[Katie Nolan]

Let me forget. I'm putting this on the ground.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Okay, okay. I'm trying.

[Pablo Torre]

That's a. I'll try to remember place to rest your lollipops.

[Katie Nolan]

Trash in here?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Yeah.

[Katie Nolan]

We've never been a trash in here. Which is crazy.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Where are the receptacles?

[Katie Nolan]

Thank you.

[Pablo Torre]

We're like Japan in here.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Yes.

[Pablo Torre]

You know what I'm talking about.

[Katie Nolan]

No, no trash cans.

[Pablo Torre]

No trash cans.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

But I believe the.

[Katie Nolan]

We're like New York City during a marathon.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Just peeing our pants.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah. Walking your dog. And then you realize, like, oh, something must be going on publicly this weekend because there's no garbage can anywhere.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Is the whole episode going to be what we're doing right now? Cuz honestly, I'm great with it.

[Katie Nolan]

I guess so. I didn't get high.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I'm a hyped. Yeah, I didn't get high at all.

[Katie Nolan]

Damn, that sucks.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I don't usually get high. I don't really get. I don't really get high. I tell you the littlest. And I'm so far gone.

[Katie Nolan]

Great.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I'm absolutely obliterated.

[Katie Nolan]

That's economical.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

But I don't. I never. It's very hard for me to find a place where it's like. I'm glad that I did this.

[Katie Nolan]

Just take one hit. Start there.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Okay.

[Katie Nolan]

Okay.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Thank you.

[Katie Nolan]

You're welcome.

[Pablo Torre]

What happens to you?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

What happens to me? Yeah, I kind of. Well, I. What? I often become like so far gone often. I hardly ever do it, but, like, so far gone that I'm like, paralyzed. You know what I mean? The very first time that I accidentally used a marijuana product. What? I was at a party and there were brownies and never even occurred to me that there would be weird weed in the brownies. So I ate like a few brownies. Because I'm the type of guy, he'll go to a party and I'll eat a lot of your brownies.

[Pablo Torre]

You know, conscientious towards the chef.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Yeah, Right. You made all these brownies. I'm. Let them sit here.

[Katie Nolan]

You're the guy that walks in like the third time in the room and goes, brownies.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

That's exactly right.

[Katie Nolan]

Well, I gotta eat them. Even though it's your. It's your.

[Pablo Torre]

You put them into a fake shopping cart.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Yeah, I make a big show out of it. And yeah, I'll eat. I'll eat a few. So I ate a few brownies and it was by a pool. And I was sitting by the pool and I was like, I feel a little bit weird. And then people were like, you guys want to get in the pool? And I was like, yeah, I would love to get in the pool. And then my arms and legs would not move. And I was like, I guess I'm here for a while. So that's Kind of. I rarely get the place where you're like, oh, I'm just a little bit happier than I was.

[Katie Nolan]

I don't think eating a couple brownies was taking it. Eat. Like, that's like. If I ate a couple brownies, I would also be comatose.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I guess. I mean, I'm not good at. I feel like you seem like someone who's really. You're a connoisseur.

[Katie Nolan]

No, no. Dan is. I just. Whatever he gets, I go, nice. And then I take a hit or two of it, and then I go, I'm good for three hours.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I gotcha. Yeah. See, I just don't know what. I don't know what I'm doing. Maybe. Maybe I need, like, a. A weed sommelier to probably to show me how to.

[Katie Nolan]

Pablo could help.

[Pablo Torre]

I'll be your Sherpa.

[Katie Nolan]

He brought a bunch of weed to my house with athlete names on it.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Athlete names.

[Pablo Torre]

Oh, you didn't watch the episode, Michael. You would have been.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Well, I did. Gary Peyotian.

[Katie Nolan]

I mean, that's the pun. It could have been. It wasn't that pun, but, yeah, that's close. Just Gary Payton. The gloves called Gary Payton. It's not.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Is that a pun?

[Katie Nolan]

Peyotean was a pun.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

No, but I thought. Okay, but there wasn't one. No Good.

[Pablo Torre]

But what about. What?

[Katie Nolan]

The amount of times I come here and I forget to put my engagement ring back on is too many.

[Pablo Torre]

Me thinks the fiance doth protest too much.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Yeah. I don't. I don't wear my wedding ring. We're ready. And it's called a Redding Wing. And I don't wear it very much.

[Katie Nolan]

Why?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Because I have what is called because.

[Katie Nolan]

It'S easier to cheat.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Infidelity, Eczema.

[Katie Nolan]

Oh.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

And so I get a cool little ring of eczema right around my. Right around my hand. And it's not fun to have that.

[Katie Nolan]

Sure, sure.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

As long as I. If I don't sweat at all, it's fine. But if I do sweat, then it starts to accumulate under the ring.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

And this is also. This is like, how do you track metrics for this podcast is the kind of thing that makes going great.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah. Numbers are going through the roof.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Yeah. So I give myself a shot.

[Pablo Torre]

Let's describe your finger eczema more.

[Katie Nolan]

No, no.

[Pablo Torre]

I want to get to what Michael brought us.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Okay.

[Katie Nolan]

Is it food?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

No. And I was told to bring it.

[Katie Nolan]

What? You didn't tell me to bring anything.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Yeah, I assumed.

[Katie Nolan]

Thanks.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I honestly, I assumed you'd be bringing, like, some kind of obscure instrument. Also, I brought the funk. I thought you'd bring, like, a wood block or something.

[Katie Nolan]

I brought the funk.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

You did. That's true. But people don't even know that.

[Pablo Torre]

We don't.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Zoop. Down the up.

[Katie Nolan]

Sorry, sorry, sorry. We deleted that. Okay, sorry. It might be free. I don't. It's fair use. That's an old well.

[Pablo Torre]

Fair use. Sound alike for the fun.

[Katie Nolan]

It's not gonna be the same.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

We can do. The three of us can do an.

[Katie Nolan]

Acapella on whatever this is.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Well, yeah, it's not acapella if we use this. Can. Can you use. Is the problem. You can't even license, like, you can't sing the song right.

[Katie Nolan]

No.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Yeah. You can't do anything.

[Katie Nolan]

Well, is level 42 litigious? I don't even remember them as a band.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Well, they're going to be litigious now that you said that. That was nice.

[Katie Nolan]

They're coming for her.

[Pablo Torre]

Is level 42 really going to sue us?

[Katie Nolan]

Right.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I dare you.

[Katie Nolan]

Level 42 said, what are you going to do, fire me? And then they very much did.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Bill Simmons said that. And then next week, level 42 sued him.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah.

[Pablo Torre]

I'm sorry, by the way, to Katie Nolan, for getting you sucked into a larger Internet happening in which you were asked questions like, which side are you on?

[Katie Nolan]

I've sucked it up and handled it, so I need Simmons to do the same. It's. It's weird. Pablo's investigating it. He's doing a fantastic job. So I'm Team Pablo, and I assume you are as well. Oh, yeah. But I picked you. It wasn't like. There was no hesitation.

[Pablo Torre]

I noticed.

[Katie Nolan]

It was. He didn't even listen to the episode. I. Let's do it back. And I was like, bro, come on. Pablo got into a media fight with another. With another member of the. His name is Bill Simmons, I believe. We just talked about him. He. Bill Simmons took issue with Pablo's reporting, and then we don't even cut it out. But Pablo then went to LA for his. Did you win the. Oh, no. He went for the. What's it called? The Peabody's.

[Pablo Torre]

Peabody's. What a Boston way to pronounce that.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah, that is. Sorry. How the Peabody's. Sorry. It's Peabody, Massachusetts. And he was out there in la, so he did Simmons's podcast, like, refuting Simmons, saying that it was like, whatever, reporting or whatever. And basically during the episode, he was like, have you listened to any of the episodes that the aggregated clips are coming from that you're referring to. And Simmons was like, well, what I'd like to talk about instead.

[Pablo Torre]

It was a skillful move by Bill.

[Katie Nolan]

No, it was not immediately. You could see right through it. It was like, so. No, then, Bill, I didn't realize.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

The Peabody's the Peabody side. It's the Peabody Nominations. I thought you just won.

[Pablo Torre]

Oh, no, there are nominations now. Oh, I know, because I.

[Katie Nolan]

You have one.

[Pablo Torre]

Didn't win it.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I do. I have one.

[Katie Nolan]

We noticed in your house, brother.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Yeah.

[Katie Nolan]

Jan was like, you know, he's a somebody.

[Pablo Torre]

And I did the thing that Connor McDavid did that everyone got mad at him for. I touched it.

[Katie Nolan]

Oh.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Oh.

[Katie Nolan]

That might have jinxed it that he touched the cup.

[Pablo Torre]

You should neither touch nor hoist the conference trophies when those series have been won because the players, according to this footnoted Wikipedia page, feel that the Stanley cup is a true championship trophy and only it should be hoisted.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah, it's. We're kind of pretentious hockey fans that way, but it's. It is what it is. It's a known thing.

[Pablo Torre]

I'm just trying to guess further and further away from the fact that Michael has the thing that I. Eczema on his hands. Yeah.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I. By the way, I don't have it right now. Don't give it to the cup right now. I don't have it right.

[Pablo Torre]

Where is it?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

The eczema?

[Katie Nolan]

Where are you keeping it?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I don't have the eczema anywhere.

[Pablo Torre]

Who's on? Who's on?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

You guys? I take a shot. I take a shot every two weeks. I'm a farmer. Really?

[Katie Nolan]

Oh, you do? Which one? Wait, let me guess. Let me guess. It's because it's nothing. Is everything. Now is the time to ask your dermatologist about Skyrizi, which is. Oh, yeah.

[Pablo Torre]

Skyriz.

[Katie Nolan]

Skyrizzi.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Oh, it's not that.

[Katie Nolan]

It's not Skyrizzy. Damn. That is Skyrizzi, though. Have you seen the one?

[Pablo Torre]

We did an episode about this. We did do Pixens.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Yes, I must have. I talk about it all the time. I love.

[Katie Nolan]

I love more with Dupixon.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

That's right.

[Pablo Torre]

How do you. How do you know all of the jingles?

[Katie Nolan]

Because I watch tv. The jingles day. I watch TV all day. There's a commercial where they have baseball fans in a stadium chanting Farca. Ask your doctor about Farsiga. Farca.

[Pablo Torre]

Now, there is one from a commercial that I noticed. Was I with. I must not have been with you guys, but there is a pharmaceutical drug that is supposed to Address a bent penis.

[Katie Nolan]

Oh, yeah. For that's called Peyronis. The disease is called Peyronis.

[Pablo Torre]

Do not stress enough how this was unprepared by everybody.

[Katie Nolan]

I believe it's called Peyronis disease.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I mean, the level. The level of quickness with you.

[Pablo Torre]

Oh, yeah, it's.

[Katie Nolan]

There's a good one and a bad one.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Spandura. Yeah, I got that. It is made it up.

[Katie Nolan]

I don't know.

[Pablo Torre]

Absolutely. Called Peyronie.

[Katie Nolan]

Thank you.

[Pablo Torre]

That is the disease when a fibrous scar tissue inside the penis causes curved, painful erections.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

That's got to be such a bummer for Doug Peyroni. You know what I mean?

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

For the doctor to be like, actually, you're going to be famous on this. And he's like, wait, why?

[Katie Nolan]

What? Please don't.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Don't do that.

[Katie Nolan]

Name it after anything else.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Can't you call it just bendy penis disease? No, Doug, we're naming this after you.

[Pablo Torre]

They need to understand how fibrous this scar tissue is.

[Katie Nolan]

Oh, my goodness. Fibrous.

[Pablo Torre]

I'm looking for the. For the. For the. For the pharmaceutical.

[Katie Nolan]

What the. What the.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

It's not like just a splint.

[Pablo Torre]

Zex. I think it's Zex.

[Katie Nolan]

Damn.

[Pablo Torre]

Otherwise known as collagenase, Clostridium ad. Historic places to come.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Off the rails.

[Katie Nolan]

What are we doing?

[Pablo Torre]

What is this?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

What are the rails?

[Katie Nolan]

What are the rails?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Are we a train?

[Pablo Torre]

Are you saying that you're trying to straighten the rails?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

No, absolutely not.

[Pablo Torre]

Are you saying that there's fibrous tissue, perhaps in the rails?

[Katie Nolan]

If it hurts, you should have it medicated. But I will say, if it doesn't hurt and it curves a certain way, you could just leave it. Okay, that's just advice.

[Pablo Torre]

But just think about how that's advice for me. That's a freebie.

[Katie Nolan]

That's just free advice. As long as it doesn't hurt. You could just leave it.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Doug Peyroni. Why don't you call in, buddy?

[Katie Nolan]

If it's going side to side, probably take the.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Take the Zykaflex.

[Katie Nolan]

But if it's.

[Pablo Torre]

My main reaction was like, wow, this must be a common affliction in order for this commercial to be aired during the sporting event.

[Katie Nolan]

They do a lot of centered stuff during sports.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Yeah. This is like. This is when we're getting a lot.

[Katie Nolan]

Remember baseball playoffs used to always be. What's the one that's not Viagra? The one that starts with maybe a C. Cialis. Cialis.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Cialis.

[Pablo Torre]

Remember when there was nobody wanted to.

[Katie Nolan]

Make that a big deal that you knew that right away.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Took me a second because I almost said Sky Alice, but I knew that wasn't right.

[Pablo Torre]

That would be embarrassing.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Skyrizi. That's when you put them. When you take them together.

[Pablo Torre]

That's when you.

[Katie Nolan]

Sky Alice.

[Pablo Torre]

That's when you think is.

[Katie Nolan]

Everybody is hard as.

[Pablo Torre]

Hey, you want to get Skyrizy?

[Katie Nolan]

Skyrizi.

[Pablo Torre]

Flirtatious Bird.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah, sure. Yeah, we got it. Yeah.

[Pablo Torre]

Creature. What is the podcast? So, Mr. Peyroni.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah.

[Pablo Torre]

Francois Jigot de la Peyroni.

[Katie Nolan]

No.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Okay.

[Pablo Torre]

A French surgeon.

[Katie Nolan]

Oh, it was the surgeon.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Oh, wow.

[Pablo Torre]

And this is, I think, a real. A real problem for the other Peyronis in this. In this lineage, because. Yeah, he's the guy who discovered, as it is described here, induration of the corpora cavernosa of the penis cavernosa.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Oh, wow.

[Pablo Torre]

You guys want to see a diagram?

[Katie Nolan]

Probably not.

[Pablo Torre]

Yeah.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

But yeah, I do. I do want to see the diagram. I do.

[Katie Nolan]

Wait, where are we? Where are we? What are we looking at?

[Pablo Torre]

We're looking at the constituent cavernous cylinders of the Venus.

[Katie Nolan]

I'm sorry, what's the. Where are we looking at? Is that the mushroom at the top?

[Pablo Torre]

The glands. This is like an old illustration.

[Katie Nolan]

I don't know what that is, and I don't.

[Pablo Torre]

Like, my dad is a urologist. This is totally exactly what he would want me doing.

[Katie Nolan]

Totally. Exactly.

[Pablo Torre]

Wikipedia medical illustrations.

[Katie Nolan]

Red Sox traded Raffy Debbers.

[Pablo Torre]

How is it. How is that miserable? That must have been a real kick to the dorsal vein.

[Katie Nolan]

It's miserable.

[Pablo Torre]

Let me close out some windows and open that one up.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Close up some of my penis tabs.

[Katie Nolan]

It has made me so miserable, and yet I brought it up because I don't want to talk about curved dick anymore. On this podcast looking for a way out. She brought up her own deepest pain. And that is.

[Pablo Torre]

Sounds like there should be a pharmaceutical product for what you're dealing with.

[Katie Nolan]

I know. I think there's a lot of them.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I think they have. Yeah, they're electric.

[Katie Nolan]

I think I might take them all at once.

[Pablo Torre]

Well, let's not do that.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

What if that feels a little severe?

[Pablo Torre]

What if instead, we unzipped something else?

[Katie Nolan]

Hey, there, travelers. Kaley Cuoco here. Sorry to interrupt your music great artist, BT Dubs, but wouldn't you rather be there to hear it live? With Priceline, you can get out of your dreams and into your dream concert. They've got millions of travel deals to get you to that festival, gig, rave, sound bath, or sonic experience you've been dreaming of download the Priceline app today, and you can save up to 60% off hotels and up to 50% off flights. So don't just dream about that trip. Book it with Priceline. Go to your happy price, Priceline. If you went on a road trip and you didn't stop for a Big Mac or drop a crispy fry between the car seats or use your McDonald's.

[Pablo Torre]

Bag as a placemat, then that wasn't a road trip.

[Katie Nolan]

It was just a really long drive at participating McDonald's.

[Pablo Torre]

Michael, I believe, has been spending his days when he's not around us, doing something that we should enjoy.

[Katie Nolan]

Okay.

[Pablo Torre]

Now that he's here with us.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Okay. So a friend of mine of a comedian had an omnichord in her office.

[Katie Nolan]

Supposed to know what that is.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

So. And I started playing it and I thought, oh, this is so fun. And then I bought one.

[Katie Nolan]

How much price point?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

It's like $750. Okay. It's kind of expensive. I love this.

[Katie Nolan]

Below a thousand.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

And I got it like a week ago.

[Katie Nolan]

Okay.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

And I also, I think since the last time I saw you guys, I broke my elbow. Do you know that?

[Katie Nolan]

No. You seem like you're fine.

[Pablo Torre]

I don't even know which one.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Yeah, my left. My left elbow. So I've got some limited motions instead.

[Pablo Torre]

Of like, how did you break it?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I was playing B ball with the youths. And I'll tell you guys, I was saucing these kids.

[Katie Nolan]

I bet.

[Pablo Torre]

So I've watched. I've been grinding some Michael Cruz Kane game tape.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah.

[Pablo Torre]

What I love about Michael Cruz Kane playing basketball is that he wears sweatpants.

[Katie Nolan]

Okay?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I do sometimes. I do sometimes. I'm not afraid to do that. Well, it's just whatever's clean, okay? It doesn't have to be that clean. Whatever's around.

[Katie Nolan]

Basketball pants. Yeah, Common.

[Pablo Torre]

But he's got. He's got a j. I was absolutely.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Wait, what are you even talking about? Where have you seen me play basketball?

[Pablo Torre]

The same place on Instagram that I saw you play an Omnichord.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I was so.

[Pablo Torre]

Your window.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Let me tell you this. Let me tell you this story because it's worth it for this podcast, okay? I was saucing these kids up, absolutely ruining some 20 guy rizzing them. I'm feeling so good. So you know what? I do something I haven't done in 10 years. I sprint from one end of the court to the other end of the court, and I'm calling to the ball. I'm saying, I'm telling.

[Katie Nolan]

The guy hit me I'm going.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I'm like, send it.

[Katie Nolan]

I'm driving to the hoop.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I see that I'm tracking the ball with my eyes. I go to catch it. I'm fully extended. A much bigger, stronger, faster, younger man is doing the same thing I'm doing.

[Katie Nolan]

Not a good idea.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I leap off the ground. Must have been 1, maybe 0.5 inches off the ground. Get absolutely mauled by this younger man. My legs go over my head and I catch myself with my arm extended, fracturing the radial head of my elbow. I'm kind of rolling around the ground for a little while. Everyone's like, are you okay? And you don't really know how injured you are. Right away I was like, I think I'm fine. So I play one more play.

[Katie Nolan]

No.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

We're down by two, Katie.

[Katie Nolan]

Damn. Your boy gets Clay Thompson situation.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Your boy gets the ball on the wing. Wet. Game's over. And I go, you guys, I think I got to go.

[Katie Nolan]

My radial head is.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

And then I left. I. I think, honestly, I think. I think I've changed those kids lives.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Anyway, I've been spending a lot of time not playing basketball, trying to learn how to play the Omni.

[Katie Nolan]

Great.

[Pablo Torre]

My God.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

So that. This is it. It's right here.

[Pablo Torre]

You said. You said. Okay, computer.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Nice, nice, nice. I don't. I don't.

[Katie Nolan]

You called the karma police.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

That's good. These are. That's radio radial head.

[Katie Nolan]

Radial head of your elbow.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Give me a second. And so I knew that it was radio head, of course, but I didn't get radial head.

[Katie Nolan]

Right. And you guys, they sound so different. Why it took so long.

[Pablo Torre]

We thought we just left you high and dry.

[Katie Nolan]

Whoa.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I don't even know. I don't know what that is. That I know. Of course, man. Well, anywho, I'm feeling like a real creep. And that's too much, too easy.

[Katie Nolan]

No, that's good stuff.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Those are all the ones that I know.

[Katie Nolan]

Best stuff. TV talk show host on mute. Talk show on mute.

[Pablo Torre]

Are you stroking out?

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah, yeah.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Oh, and of course, talk show on mute.

[Katie Nolan]

It's a radio. We're doing radio head song.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Is it a radio song?

[Katie Nolan]

I think so, but I can't remember the order of the words.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Alexa, tell me if talk show on mute.

[Pablo Torre]

Talk shows on mute is incubus.

[Katie Nolan]

Oh, wait. Then what's the one I'm thinking of?

[Pablo Torre]

TV on the radio?

[Katie Nolan]

No, that's a band video.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Killed the radio star.

[Katie Nolan]

Sorry, can you do this?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

No. What do we do? Hold on.

[Pablo Torre]

We gotta describe for an audio Audience as a visual thing. Okay, so Katie, can you describe actually what this is?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

She's Googling.

[Katie Nolan]

Radiohead talk show host. Talk show host. Talk show host. That was the song I was trying to think of.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

You said like you were trying. You said it like you were trying to make Jay Leno appear thing.

[Katie Nolan]

I don't think that's who shows up. I don't think that's the one.

[Pablo Torre]

Candyman rules.

[Katie Nolan]

Omnicord by Suzuki.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Yeah.

[Katie Nolan]

It's a motorcycle, by the way.

[Pablo Torre]

I didn't know this, but the motorcycle company also makes all that other stuff.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Yes. It's truly, truly wild.

[Katie Nolan]

What a company.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Yamaha, I think, is also the same. Doesn't Yamaha make motorcycles and pianos?

[Pablo Torre]

Yes, yes.

[Katie Nolan]

And like, water skis. Water jet skis.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Water jet skis. Ski waters, maybe. Well, I just think like, that.

[Katie Nolan]

Shaped like a bean. It's a little bean, like. Yeah, it's almost like the outline of a whistle. One side on the right side, the smaller the tapered end. We have what appears to be a speaker.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Yeah, that's right.

[Katie Nolan]

I don't know what this ribbed.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

That's called a strum plate.

[Katie Nolan]

Okay. There's a strum plate, and then we have a couple. Well, that says that's the strum plate.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

No, these are the controls for the strump.

[Katie Nolan]

You know what can I tell you? I'd say strumplet is what I would have said. Strumplet.

[Pablo Torre]

There are like a zillion buttons.

[Katie Nolan]

Rhythm chord, keyboard, strumplet, voice pattern. And then we have major, minor, the seventh, and all the different chords across the top.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Sure do.

[Katie Nolan]

Okay, so this is a push button. This is like a keyboard, but different.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

It's like a keyboard. I mean, honestly, you know, now. Now you know as much about it as I do. Pretty much.

[Katie Nolan]

So.

[Pablo Torre]

So. So this also has an aesthetic of, like. What year do you think this was made?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

72, I think. It definitely has the look of that. And I think it is modeled after some. Some version of itself. Yeah, that was released around that time, but I think relatively new instruments, money.

[Katie Nolan]

You paid for it. Better be, at least.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Yeah. So.

[Pablo Torre]

So you bought this on the Internet?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I used the Internet to buy it. I said, omnicord buy. And then I went to shopping, and then I bought it, and here it is.

[Pablo Torre]

Wow.

[Katie Nolan]

Okay. And this is the om108 model. 108?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Yeah. So my daughter and my wife went to El Paso to see Coldplay with my brother and his girlfriend.

[Katie Nolan]

Okay.

[Pablo Torre]

And you were not invited?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I was neither there nor was I invited okay. So I was at home and I taught myself to play the beginning of one Coldplay song on here.

[Katie Nolan]

Oh, I think I watched you doing this on the Internet and I couldn't watch it, so I changed. I think I scrolled past pretty much.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Because it's like, so cringe.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah, no, no, no. It's because it was so good. And I was like, not ready for this. I think I definitely.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

That's what happened.

[Katie Nolan]

Had a little bit of drugs and was like, I don't think he needs to look in my eyes and sing. I don't think I need to have me in the eye and sing, personally, so.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

And then I guess Pablo saw this video, which I think having. Having looked at, I think maybe a hundred people have seen.

[Katie Nolan]

Nice.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

It's been shadow banned by Instagram. Rightfully.

[Katie Nolan]

People can't see this kind of stuff. Too hot for tv.

[Pablo Torre]

I made immediate direct eye contact with it.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah, sick.

[Pablo Torre]

But I.

[Katie Nolan]

And then you want him to do it live.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

And then for some reason, you had me bring it here.

[Katie Nolan]

You did.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

But what I. What I wasn't sure about.

[Pablo Torre]

Just in my defense.

[Katie Nolan]

Okay, yeah.

[Pablo Torre]

You're saying if, I don't know some other trio of friends you hung out with, one of them bought a musical instrument and displayed a proficiency with it, you wouldn't have follow ups?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

No, I sure would. I would. I would. I don't know.

[Pablo Torre]

If Katie bought a theremin, I'd be like, no, I didn't bring that in.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

That's what I thought would happen. What I thought would make sense to me is you were like, michael, you bring your omnicord, Katie's gonna bring her theremin. I've got, you know, a glass kazoo, a pan fl. A pan flute, and I will play it like Zamfir, the master of the pan flute. And together we'll play together.

[Katie Nolan]

I don't even get a zoogle. Zoogle.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Look that up on Zoogle.

[Katie Nolan]

We just replay Katie dismissively.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Zoogle.

[Katie Nolan]

Zoogle. At how you even get a zoogle.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Zoogled. Zoogle it.

[Katie Nolan]

Zamfir. How are you spelling it?

[Pablo Torre]

Zomfir George Zamfir.

[Katie Nolan]

Oh, it's exactly how you would have spelled it.

[Pablo Torre]

My God.

[Katie Nolan]

Wow.

[Pablo Torre]

Master of the flute. I guess I should.

[Katie Nolan]

Hello, darkness, mild friend.

[Pablo Torre]

Zamfir. Man Jesus. Romanian and alive. 84 years young.

[Katie Nolan]

Capital of Romania.

[Pablo Torre]

And he's known as. Yeah, he's from Gayesti.

[Katie Nolan]

That isn't.

[Pablo Torre]

But.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Okay, sorry.

[Katie Nolan]

Play your thing. Let's go.

[Pablo Torre]

The master of the pan flute is Zamfir, the Master of the Omnicord.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Well, it's not. I'm not even good at it.

[Pablo Torre]

I'm not.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I've had it for a week. I've had it for a week. I'm better at the piano than I am at this. And I suck at the piano.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Am I bad on the piano?

[Pablo Torre]

Did you ever take piano lessons?

[Katie Nolan]

No. But I had a boyfriend who was super into Billy Joel.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Sure.

[Katie Nolan]

Who once taught me. It might have been Good Night, Saigon. I think it was. It was a doodly doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I think that is.

[Pablo Torre]

Yes.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah. I used to be able to do that. I could not do that.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

That feels like a relatively complicated.

[Katie Nolan]

It was incredibly complicated.

[Pablo Torre]

This guy sounds like he rules so far.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

And that boyfriend. Billy Joel.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah. Yes. He was a big Billy Joel fan and his name was Billy Joel.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

No relation.

[Katie Nolan]

None. Try as he might, he's really. He's really qanon. Now, that ex of mine, I recently saw him reposting News Max, and I was like, jesus.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Oh, boy. What's his name? We can.

[Katie Nolan]

We can zoogle it.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Look him up on Zoogle.

[Pablo Torre]

My Internet search history is whacked out. Is. I'm gonna. I'm on. I'm on a terror alert list of some kind now.

[Katie Nolan]

So. No, I never took any piano lessons. I played clarinet. Really? Middle school.

[Pablo Torre]

What was your. What was your go to song?

[Katie Nolan]

Oh, I don't know. Whatever we were playing that week. But I was. Second clarinet.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I was like, that's pretty good.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah, it was decent.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

How many clarinets were there?

[Katie Nolan]

I don't know. Five, Two or maybe two. I got to sit in the second clarinet seat. I had solos.

[Pablo Torre]

Did you. You didn't think of going pro with it?

[Katie Nolan]

No, I don't even. I couldn't even tell you why I chose clarinet. I don't remember at all. I just. I loved it, you know?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

It's a beautiful instrument.

[Katie Nolan]

Like a girly oboe.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Yeah.

[Pablo Torre]

A shiobo.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah.

[Pablo Torre]

I took piano lessons.

[Katie Nolan]

Nice.

[Pablo Torre]

I can play one song.

[Katie Nolan]

Chopsticks.

[Pablo Torre]

No, I can play. Well, yes. Two songs. Chopsticks and Fur Elise.

[Katie Nolan]

Nice.

[Pablo Torre]

By an artist you may have heard of before.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Sting.

[Katie Nolan]

Not the Police. It's actually the Police.

[Pablo Torre]

Yeah.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Mozart.

[Pablo Torre]

I think it's Beethoven.

[Katie Nolan]

I think Beethoven. We go into Ibiza.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

The beat. Hoven.

[Katie Nolan]

Crazy. I had a. Yeah, I had a little Yamaha, a little white Yamaha keyboard. I wanted to play piano. And I remember once I saw it when I saw Home Alone somewhere in my memory. Remember that song?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Nope. Oh, yes.

[Katie Nolan]

I went upstairs and taught myself that on my little. But it wasn't knowing piano. It wasn't, like, making it sound good. It was going.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

But even that. But that's pretty sophisticated, to be able to hear it and be like, I can play that.

[Katie Nolan]

I don't think it is.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

A lot of people can't do that. A lot of people can't hear a song and go, I can match it to this.

[Pablo Torre]

Is that perfect pitch?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Yeah. Are we finding out right now that you're a musical savant?

[Pablo Torre]

Are you Beethoven?

[Katie Nolan]

Yes. So that's my. That's Stevie Wonder of my music. And then I tried to play guitar when I was in college and my hands are too small.

[Pablo Torre]

Or you trying to play Billy Joel?

[Katie Nolan]

No, John Mayer. That was when I was in my John Mayer phase. And so my. The song I could play again to start way too difficult than, like, easy chords. There's a John Mayer song called Comfortable. And the beginning of it is, like this very beautiful, complicated. And I could play that. I couldn't now, but I could then.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

So I feel like we're learning. You're secretly really good at instruments.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah, I don't think that I am. She can start them and then I stop them. This episode is brought to you by Tic Tac Summer tastes like Tic Tac. Tantalize your taste buds this sunny season with Citrus Adventure and orange, two everyday flavors that bring summer in every. Tic Tac Citrus Adventure is a yummy, vibrant medley of lemon, lime and mandarin. And Tic Tac Orange is the perfect mix of tangy and sweet. Visit us at Tiktacusa on social to refresh your summer with TikTok. I think you're on mute. Workday. Starting to sound the same. I think you're on mute. Find something that sounds better for your career on LinkedIn. With LinkedIn job collections, you can browse curated collections by relevant industries and benefits like FlexPTO or hybrid workplaces so you can find the right job for you. Get [e-mail] jobs finding where you fit. LinkedIn knows how. Now tell me how this works. I don't understand it.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Okay, well, I don't understand it either, so we're going to find out.

[Pablo Torre]

Here, let's do this thing where we point your microphone. Katie. At it.

[Katie Nolan]

Okay.

[Pablo Torre]

And we'll point this microphone at us.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

People who actually know how to use this instrument are going to be sad about this.

[Pablo Torre]

Oh, there it is.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Okay. And then. Well, I mean, I'm just gonna play it so, like, cool. It does.

[Pablo Torre]

Like, I feel like we're your Backup band.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

It dares lie.

[Katie Nolan]

Oh.

[Pablo Torre]

I love this instrument already.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Check it out. What I mean, is it just fun? And the thing is that a dog could play it. Nothing change.

[Katie Nolan]

Nothing.

[Pablo Torre]

This is like if Chris Martin was in Zelda.

[Katie Nolan]

How Do I Make It Funk?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

That was basically the chords of Fix you. Thank you so much. That comes. That happens.

[Pablo Torre]

He's twisting knobs. Oh, yeah, the dance remix.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

And then if you want, you know, other rhythms in the background. This is the same rhythm. It didn't change. Oh, that's rock, too. This is just an ad for the Omnichord, but you need the chords to be playing, so I think Bouillabass.

[Katie Nolan]

Oh, Bossa nova.

[Pablo Torre]

Bouillave activate. Booyah. Base mode.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

And that, my friends, is everything I know about the Omnicord. Now you know everything I know. There are other things you can do on it. See this button says keyboard here.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

What does that do? Great. Great. That's a great question to ask. I haven't had long enough to know.

[Katie Nolan]

They're yelling at me that I need to take my mic back.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Okay, you have it.

[Katie Nolan]

That was cool. I don't feel like I know it any better. This is. I like this.

[Pablo Torre]

Can we do that more?

[Katie Nolan]

And what's the little one for?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Oh, the little one. Little. Watch the little one. Okay, wait, little one. It's like, whatever's happening, the little one goes stop. Oh, little makes it all stop.

[Katie Nolan]

Okay.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

And you know that this instrument was designed by someone who had a child because then at some point, they had to put a button on it to be like. It makes it. It makes it just.

[Katie Nolan]

It's brilliant.

[Pablo Torre]

What are your. Oh, so have you unveiled this to your kids?

[Katie Nolan]

Well, they all saw the Instagram.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I would say that my children approached it with apprehension, but have taken kind of. They've taken an interest in it because it is a thing where, like, you go to a song that you like and you see the chords and you're like, now I can play everything.

[Katie Nolan]

Now I just push the button. Yeah, you don't have to figure out how to make your fingers do that. You just go, boop.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

It's a really great intro to playing music.

[Pablo Torre]

Yeah, there's a whole subreddit, R slash, Omnicord.

[Katie Nolan]

Cool. Okay. Did they post you in it?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I hope not.

[Katie Nolan]

They go, check out this guy, because.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

It'S gonna be people. It's gonna be people in cool bands.

[Katie Nolan]

Do cool bands use these?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I don't know. Maybe.

[Katie Nolan]

Who uses these?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I think the Gorillaz is Gorillas. That's a band Right? Oh, yeah, I think. I think. I think they have a song. I don't. I couldn't name a song that Gorillaz does.

[Katie Nolan]

Yes, you could.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I could.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah. Feel good, Ink clean.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

How's that? Good?

[Katie Nolan]

Feel good? Oh, maybe I did.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

When you went down. I knew it.

[Katie Nolan]

Thank you.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

But I think they have a song that they made on the Omnichord.

[Katie Nolan]

Cut that out. By the way. Show me somebody wailing out on gorillas.

[Pablo Torre]

Clint Eastwood is an Omnichord.

[Katie Nolan]

Oh, Clint Eastwood. I ain't happy I'm feeling glad I got sunshine.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Oh, I know that song.

[Katie Nolan]

That's them.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Oh, yeah. You can make. You can make. You can make that. Do that.

[Pablo Torre]

You have that.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I don't. I don't know what chords they are.

[Pablo Torre]

Okay, well, I'll show you the screenshot.

[Katie Nolan]

Oh, my God. This is crazy. That looks different than yours.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Yeah, this is like an old one.

[Pablo Torre]

He's got four lit up buttons.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Yeah, that's probably the OG Omnichord.

[Pablo Torre]

It's.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

But if you put it on auto mode, it will go through chord progressions on its own.

[Katie Nolan]

And so this is the podcast.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Just you wait until we reveal our Jordan Hudson's here. Mystery guest.

[Katie Nolan]

She's here.

[Pablo Torre]

Hey, it's Ryan Reynolds here from Mint Mobile. Now, I was looking for fun ways.

[Katie Nolan]

To tell you that Mint's offer of.

[Pablo Torre]

Unlimited Premium Wireless for $15 a month is back.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

So I thought it would be fun.

[Pablo Torre]

If we made $15 bills, but it turns out that's very illegal. So there goes my big idea for the commercial. Give it a try@mint mobile.com Switch upfront.

[Katie Nolan]

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[Pablo Torre]

Man, I. Okay, so I'm gonna buy an Omnicord.

[Katie Nolan]

Oh, my God, really? Are we all gonna buy them and then we'll have an Omnicord?

[Pablo Torre]

Yeah. Guys, we're starting a band.

[Katie Nolan]

Three Omnichord bands where nobody plays anything different. We all play the same instrument. It's crazy.

[Pablo Torre]

Press the button together. Oh, man. This is rules. Okay, I would like to have Michael, though, perform the song using his voice.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Wait, why?

[Katie Nolan]

You're gonna make him sing for us?

[Pablo Torre]

Was mid.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Yawn.

[Katie Nolan]

Wait, really? You're gonna make him do the thing live? I couldn't even stomach on my. On my phone.

[Pablo Torre]

Yes.

[Katie Nolan]

I have to look at him while he sings. Can I turn my back? It's no offense.

[Pablo Torre]

I just like the voice.

[Katie Nolan]

Really? Yes. And I'll spin around if I like it.

[Pablo Torre]

We can do the voice style.

[Katie Nolan]

I really don't like looking at people directly while they sing. It makes me so uncomfortable. I'm sorry about it.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Don't you need to clear? Don't you need to clear? Can I even sing the song on here?

[Katie Nolan]

That's a really good point. I'm turning my chair just in case he's making a really.

[Pablo Torre]

No, no, no, no, no. We are going to.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I don't want to be sued by Chris Martin for a singing this song and also be singing it badly.

[Pablo Torre]

But what if we're journalistically analyzing it such that we are going to fair use. We're going to fair use your rendition of this song.

[Katie Nolan]

So is it fix you?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Huh?

[Katie Nolan]

I think I know somebody who was one of the producers on that album. So maybe we could call him. Maybe they'll hire me or they got a new.

[Pablo Torre]

Does that make them more or less likely to live?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Hey, you know that sound you've been looking for? Well, this is. Is not it.

[Pablo Torre]

I would like for you to play it and then we can figure out if this is a thing we can air or not. But why? Because. Because. Because. Because as Katie Nolan has turned her chair around, this is the voice. I need to journalistically establish that we are going to discuss this, its contents, it's lyrical value, it's musical execution through the lens, of course, of how I intend this, which is as a dedication to Bill Belichick and Jordan Hudson.

[Katie Nolan]

You try your best, but you don't succeed.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Oh, you got. You sing it. You sing. I don't even know though. Honestly, I don't know all the words.

[Katie Nolan]

Look them up. Don't. But don't look at me. You know?

[Pablo Torre]

Do you want me to.

[Katie Nolan]

When you get what you want.

[Pablo Torre]

All the lyrics on my computer in front of you.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Like, I can't believe this happened.

[Pablo Torre]

A physical karaoke machine, people. My Filipino destiny sucks.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

People, listen to this podcast that is.

[Pablo Torre]

Gonna be more than actually.

[Katie Nolan]

Oh, my God.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

For you, this this for you. This is your. This is your way of going. We got too many people listening to this.

[Pablo Torre]

Yeah. We were like, what if you jet skied over the shark?

[Katie Nolan]

Call the herd. Let's. Let's have singing happen. Too many people here. Let's clear the room out. Michael, this is true.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

It is. It really is that. It's like. It's the me bringing my guitar to a party of this.

[Pablo Torre]

Except in this case, the host of the party will not let you leave until he gets his dose and girls.

[Katie Nolan]

Are turning their backs. It's actually doing the opposite. I like, I feel like the rats that are being driven out of the city.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Listen, do you really want me to do this?

[Katie Nolan]

I think it has to happen.

[Pablo Torre]

I could not. Do you want me to open the snack pack? That's the backup plan.

[Katie Nolan]

I can give you backup plans.

[Pablo Torre]

We got a snack up backup. That's all I got. So, again, this has.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

This has a lot of, like, long term humiliation potential.

[Katie Nolan]

Yes, it does.

[Pablo Torre]

But this is not. It's not about you. It's about the music.

[Katie Nolan]

Bill and Jordan, now that I'm not.

[Pablo Torre]

Understanding for whom I connection. Because I believe. Because journalistically speaking, I believe that this is a song that we can discuss in the context of journalism that allows us to use it for fair use.

[Katie Nolan]

Okay.

[Pablo Torre]

And this.

[Katie Nolan]

I still don't think that's.

[Pablo Torre]

Contents of this, I think are. I would say this is.

[Katie Nolan]

But he tried his best and he did succeed.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Or.

[Pablo Torre]

Well, maybe we should let the song decide.

[Katie Nolan]

You're right. You're so right. Are we doing it or not? Because I'm gonna throw.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Is this really.

[Pablo Torre]

Katie, he's gonna look that way. I'm gonna look directly at Michael.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I'm. I am vibrating with anxiety.

[Katie Nolan]

Sure.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Just thinking about all the ways that people will be able to make fun of me forever for doing. I mean, I already posted a video of myself doing this on Instagram, which was cr. Which was kind of a cringe thing to do from the outset.

[Pablo Torre]

No, that wasn't Grinch.

[Katie Nolan]

It was bold and brave, just not for me. It just wasn't for me.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I. This is gonna be the last time we see each other.

[Katie Nolan]

Probably.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

This is it.

[Katie Nolan]

I've had so much fun.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

This is it.

[Pablo Torre]

You've had a good run.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

This is it for us as a show.

[Katie Nolan]

Five, six, seven, eight. Oh, my God.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I don't. Why are there more microphones? Okay, let's just. Let's just. We really gotta do this.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah, let's just do it really fast.

[Pablo Torre]

Do it at the pace that the artist intended.

[Katie Nolan]

What the hell is this show?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

It's also not. It's not a good key for me. I should probably learn how to play in a different key. It's too high.

[Katie Nolan]

Also, I haven't warmed up my voice. I haven't had any tea today.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

When you. When you. Okay, let's just start over. When you? When you try. Okay, Me. All right. When you try your best? And you don't succeed? You get what you want? But not what you need?

[Katie Nolan]

Well, that was a nice little run. I'm not turning around yet.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

When you feel so tired? But you can't? Asleep?

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Stuck in a river?

[Katie Nolan]

Beautiful. You can sing.

[Pablo Torre]

This has been Pablo Torre Finds Out a Meadowlark Media production and I'll talk to you next time.

[Katie Nolan]

Sam.