Episode Summary: "PTFO Smell Test: Celebrity & Athlete Fragrances, (Blindly) Reviewed"

Podcast Information:

• Title: The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
• Hosts: Dan Le Batard, Stugotz
• Episode Title: PTFO Smell Test: Celebrity & Athlete Fragrances, (Blindly) Reviewed
• Release Date: January 17, 2025

Introduction to the Smell Test Segment

In this engaging episode, Dan Le Batard and Stugotz delve into the intriguing world of celebrity and athlete fragrances. Building upon their previous explorations into "athlete alcohol" and "athlete weed," this episode marks the finale of their trilogy, where they blindly review 11 different vanity fragrances purportedly created by well-known personalities.

Setting the Scene: Blind Fragrance Review

At the outset (06:13), the hosts explain their methodology:

Dan Soder: "We are going into this whole exercise completely blind. That means we're going to start by taking these pre-sprayed paper strips of the vanity fragrance in question out of a Ziploc bag, at which point we will give our unbiased review of it using only our sense of smell."

They emphasize the authenticity of their reviews by keeping the identities of the celebrities behind each fragrance concealed until the end of each segment. This approach aims to provide untainted opinions based solely on scent.

Fragrance Reviews

1. Michael Jordan’s Fragrance: "Cristiano Ronaldo Origins"
Timestamp: 10:59

The first fragrance is believed to be Michael Jordan's, although it's revealed as "Cristiano Ronaldo Origins." The hosts provide a detailed breakdown:

Pablo Torre: "Top notes are cypress, grapefruit, lemon, cognac, geranium, cedar needles, Brazilian rosewood."

Lawrence Schlossman humorously critiques:

Lawrence Schlossman: "It smells like a murder father... It smelled awful."

Upon reveal:

Pablo Torre: "Cristiano Ronaldo Origins was launched in 2022. It’s an aromatic fragrance for men, crafted to embody strength and resilience."

Despite the initial skepticism, they acknowledge the affordable pricing:

Katie Nolan: "Wow. 21.3."

The consensus leans towards affordability without compromising on scent.

2. Britney Spears’ Fragrance: "Wonderstruck"
Timestamp: 44:29

Next up is Taylor Swift's "Wonderstruck," though misattributed initially:

Lawrence Schlossman: "It smells like Taylor's version."

The hosts dissect the notes:

Pablo Torre: "Top notes include bay leaf, mandarin orange. Middle notes are clary, sage, lavender, and geranium. Base notes are patchouli and sandalwood."

Katie Nolan expresses affection for the scent:

Katie Nolan: "Or my bed sheets, you know?"

Despite mixed initial reactions, the fragrance is praised for its balance:

Lawrence Schlossman: "It's a winner. It's classy, it's light."

3. David Beckham’s Fragrance: "Instinct"
Timestamp: 27:11

David Beckham's "Instinct" garners a positive response:

Katie Nolan: "What do you think this runs?"

Lawrence Schlossman: "Mine says $30."

They commend the bottle design and scent complexity:

Pablo Torre: "Notes are vetiver, bergamot, mandarin orange, star anise, pimento, cardamom, white amber."

The group unanimously agrees it's a standout:

Katie Nolan: "At the price point, too."

4. Will Levis’ Fragrance: "Hellman's Parfum de Mayonnaise"
Timestamp: 37:11

Perhaps the most unexpected, Will Levis introduces "Hellman's Parfum de Mayonnaise." Their reactions range from bafflement to amusement:

Lawrence Schlossman: "It had no business trying as hard as it did."

While some find it intriguing:

Katie Nolan: "What you say it's fruity in the back."

Others are outright repulsed:

Lawrence Schlossman: "It smells like a Taylor Swift concert. This is exactly right."

5. Tom Brady’s Fragrance: "Stetson"
Timestamp: 31:20

The review of Tom Brady’s "Stetson" highlights its rugged appeal:

Katie Nolan: "How much do you think this costs?"

Lawrence Schlossman: "$30.47. This is the most expensive cologne so far."

They appreciate its masculine blend:

Katie Nolan: "Notes are white flowers surrounded with vanilla and musk nuances."

6. Derek Jeter’s Fragrance: "Driven"
Timestamp: 42:37

Derek Jeter’s "Driven" receives a mixed to negative response:

Lawrence Schlossman: "You're gonna be disappointed."

Katie Nolan: "This is bubble gum. This is Bath and Body Works. This is Jessica Simpson written all over it."

Despite Jeter's reputation, the scent falls short of expectations.

7. Cristiano Ronaldo’s Second Fragrance: "Fight, Fight, Fight"
Timestamp: 48:35

The final fragrance, purportedly Donald Trump's "Fight, Fight, Fight," becomes the episode's climax:

Lawrence Schlossman: "Oh, the bottle's brutal. What a tacky fucking."

Katie Nolan: "Just a sticker slapped on a. That's perfect, though."

Despite its strong presence, the group remains divided on its appeal.

Key Insights and Conclusions

Throughout the episode, the hosts employ humor and candidness, providing both entertainment and genuine opinions on each fragrance. They navigate the subjective nature of scents, often reflecting on personal associations and societal perceptions of masculinity and femininity in fragrances.

Notable Quotes:

• Dan Soder (00:30): "Sleep number smart beds don’t just help you sleep, they learn how you sleep, providing personalized insights to help you get even better rest."
• Lawrence Schlossman (33:22): "Guys, grow up. It's fruity in the back."
• Katie Nolan (44:31): "Feed my kids tonight or smell like JLo."

Final Verdict: David Beckham's "Instinct" emerged as the crowd favorite, praised for its sophisticated blend and reasonable pricing. In contrast, Will Levis’ "Hellman's Parfum de Mayonnaise" and Derek Jeter’s "Driven" were met with skepticism and humor, highlighting the challenges of celebrity-endorsed scents.

The episode underscores the complexity of fragrance appreciation, influenced by branding, personal preferences, and cultural stereotypes. The hosts conclude by embracing the diversity of opinions, reinforcing that scent is deeply personal and subjective.

Conclusion: "PTFO Smell Test: Celebrity & Athlete Fragrances, (Blindly) Reviewed" offers a humorous yet insightful exploration into the world of vanity fragrances. Through candid discussions and playful banter, Dan Le Batard and Stugotz provide listeners with a relatable take on celebrity endorsements and the often quirky outcomes of such ventures.

Timestamps:

• 00:30: Introduction and Sleep Number Smart Beds Advertisement
• 06:13: Explanation of Blind Fragrance Review Methodology
• 10:59: Michael Jordan/Cristiano Ronaldo Fragrance Review
• 27:11: David Beckham’s "Instinct" Review
• 37:11: Will Levis’ "Hellman's Parfum de Mayonnaise" Review
• 42:37: Derek Jeter’s "Driven" Review
• 44:29: Taylor Swift’s "Wonderstruck" Review
• 48:35: Donald Trump’s "Fight, Fight, Fight" Review