Share & Scrotox & Tell with Katie Nolan, Michael Cruz Kayne Nolan and Pablo Torre

Summary

The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz - Episode Summary Episode: Share & Scrotox & Tell with Katie Nolan, Michael Cruz Kane, and Pablo Torre
Release Date: February 14, 2025

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1. Introduction and Early Banter (00:00 – 03:00)

The episode kicks off with Pablo Torre humorously introducing his segment, "Pablo Torre Finds Out." Shortly after, the hosts engage in light-hearted banter about personal items and everyday mishaps. A notable exchange occurs when Katie Nolan laments over her glasses:

Katie Nolan [01:02]: "Oh, my glasses are what I left in my jacket. You're not showing us anything, are you?"

This sets a casual and comedic tone for the show, emphasizing the camaraderie among the hosts.

2. The Invention of the Mirror (02:18 – 05:02)

The conversation shifts to a historical discussion about the invention of the mirror. Michael Cruz Kane muses:

Michael Cruz Kane [02:18]: "Something I think about a lot is the invention of the mirror."

Pablo Torre introduces Justus von Liebig, a German chemist credited with inventing the silvered glass mirror in 1835:

Pablo Torre [03:30]: "Justus von Liebig found or is credited with inventing the silvered glass mirror."

The hosts debate whether the mirror was an invention or a discovery, leading to humorous speculation about ancient methods of grooming without mirrors. This segment blends historical facts with the hosts' trademark humor.

3. Super Bowl Experiences and Commercials (06:04 – 09:05)

The discussion transitions to the Super Bowl, with Katie Nolan and Pablo Torre sharing their recent experiences:

Katie Nolan [06:04]: "I went to a party. I haven't been to a Super Bowl party in a long time."

Pablo Torre recounts attending the Atlanta Super Bowl featuring the Patriots and Rams, labeling it a "very boring Super Bowl":

Pablo Torre [07:26]: "I went to the Atlanta Super Bowl. It was the Patriots, Rams. It sucked."

They delve into the halftime show and commercials, expressing mild disappointment:

Katie Nolan [07:50]: "The halftime show was okay. It wasn't what I wanted it to be."

The hosts humorously critique the nature of Super Bowl parties and the often underwhelming game dynamics.

4. Bill Belichick's Girlfriend, Jordan (08:19 – 14:44)

A significant portion of the episode focuses on Bill Belichick's girlfriend, Jordan, and her influence over him. Pablo Torre raises questions about Jordan's role:

Pablo Torre [11:06]: "Jordan has represented herself essentially as his de facto agent."

Katie Nolan speculates on the dynamics of their relationship, highlighting concerns about their age difference and potential power imbalances:

Katie Nolan [10:15]: "I wish that she was 27 so it'd be easier to remember that he's 72 and she's 27."

The discussion touches on rumors of their relationship affecting Belichick's professional decisions and appearances in commercials. Michael Cruz Kane adds:

Michael Cruz Kane [12:12]: "He's teaching him the art of yes. He's like in his year of yes."

The hosts debate whether Jordan's involvement signifies a positive personal change for Belichick or raises red flags about his decision-making.

5. Elon Musk's Video Game Controversy (17:55 – 28:14)

The conversation pivots to Elon Musk's alleged involvement in video game cheating. Pablo Torre narrates a scandal where Musk claimed to be a top player in games like Path of Exile 2 and Diablo 4, only to be exposed for dishonesty:

Pablo Torre [20:10]: "He is literally profiving the opposite of what he used to do."

Katie Nolan expresses frustration over Musk's credibility:

Katie Nolan [22:00]: "As a video game person, I'm like, listen, my culture is not a costume."

The hosts criticize Musk's integrity and question his suitability for leadership roles, drawing parallels between his personal conduct and his public responsibilities.

6. Cosmetic Trends: Labia Puffing and Scrotox (30:10 – 34:43)

Shifting to pop culture and cosmetic trends, the hosts discuss labia puffing—a procedure involving fillers to enhance the appearance of labia—and Scrotox, Botox injections into the scrotum for aesthetic or medical reasons:

Pablo Torre [30:13]: "Women doing something called labia puffing, where you take filler or like Botox or something and inject it into your labia to make your labia look younger."

Michael Cruz Kane humorously critiques the practicality and necessity of these procedures:

Michael Cruz Kane [32:05]: "I don't think most men get to the point where they want their labia to look younger."

The discussion highlights societal pressures regarding body image and the extremes some individuals go to alter their appearances.

7. Matt Rife's Facial Surgery Rumors (35:04 – 38:30)

Katie Nolan brings up rumors about comedian Matt Rife undergoing facial surgery to achieve a more defined jawline:

Katie Nolan [35:31]: "He's got, like, male model jaw. And then somebody was like, you know, he was on Wild and Out."

Pablo Torre adds skepticism about the veracity of these rumors, pointing out potential violations of privacy laws like HIPAA if true:

Pablo Torre [37:11]: "That feels like a HIPAA thing."

The hosts question the ethics and accuracy of publicly discussing celebrities' cosmetic procedures without verified information.

8. Conclusion and Final Thoughts (43:40 – End)

As the episode nears its end, the hosts recap the day's discussions with their characteristic humor:

Pablo Torre [43:40]: "What did we find out today on Pablo? Tori finds out a show about finding out about apparently 3 inch penises."

Katie Nolan and Michael Cruz Kane add their final insights, reflecting on the varied topics covered and the blend of serious discussions with comedic elements.

The episode concludes with Pablo Torre signing off:

Pablo Torre [44:37]: "This has been Pablo Torre Finds Out, a Meadowlark Media production and I'll talk to you next time."

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Notable Quotes

• Katie Nolan [01:02]: "Oh, my glasses are what I left in my jacket. You're not showing us anything, are you?"
• Michael Cruz Kane [02:18]: "Something I think about a lot is the invention of the mirror."
• Pablo Torre [03:30]: "Justus von Liebig found or is credited with inventing the silvered glass mirror."
• Katie Nolan [06:04]: "I went to a party. I haven't been to a Super Bowl party in a long time."
• Katie Nolan [10:15]: "I wish that she was 27 so it'd be easier to remember that he's 72 and she's 27."
• Katie Nolan [22:00]: "As a video game person, I'm like, listen, my culture is not a costume."
• Katie Nolan [35:31]: "He's got, like, male model jaw."
• Pablo Torre [43:40]: "What did we find out today on Pablo? Tori finds out a show about finding out about apparently 3 inch penises."

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Insights and Conclusions

This episode of The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz seamlessly blends sports commentary with pop culture analysis, personal anecdotes, and sharp humor. The hosts navigate through diverse topics—from historical inventions and Super Bowl experiences to celebrity relationships and controversial cosmetic trends—providing listeners with both entertainment and thoughtful commentary. Notably, the segment on Elon Musk's video game controversy offers a critical look at celebrity credibility, while discussions on cosmetic procedures highlight societal pressures on appearance. The episode underscores the show's ability to engage audiences with its dynamic interplay of humor, insight, and candid conversations.

Transcript

[Pablo Torre]

Welcome to Pablo Torre Finds Out. I am Pablo Torre. Today's episode is brought to you by DraftKings. DraftKings. The Crown is yours. And today we're gonna find out what this sound is.

[Katie]

They couldn't believe we weren't keeping our bush around right after this ad. You're listening to Giraffe Kings.

[Allstate Advertiser]

This episode is brought to you by Allstate. Some people just know they could save hundreds on car insurance by checking Allstate First. Like, you know, to check the date of the big game first before you accidentally buy tickets on your 20th wedding anniversary and have to spend the next 20 years of your marriage making up for it. Yeah, checking first is smart. So check Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate Savings. Vary terms apply. Allstate Fire and Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois.

[Katie]

Oh, my glasses are what I left in my jacket. You're not showing us anything, are you?

[Pablo Torre]

Undoubtedly.

[Katie]

Okay, we get.

[Pablo Torre]

Katie, your glasses.

[Katie]

No, no, they're in a, like, hidden pocket.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Voices.

[Katie]

It should be the second middle.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

What do the other ones do? Don't worry about this one. This is your own voice. The first one. Do, do, do, do, do, do. Oh, yeah. Lots of me, baby. What if I. Can I make it? Only me and none of them can. I just not hear them.

[Katie]

Guys always have it cold in here.

[Pablo Torre]

Is it too hot?

[Katie]

Oh, they're dirty. No, I just.

[Pablo Torre]

What's your glasses cleaning? Move. Oh, just rubbing it again. Straight, dry, Real dry.

[Katie]

You make it wet?

[Pablo Torre]

I fog it up.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

You.

[Katie]

Oh, sometimes.

[Pablo Torre]

Yeah, sometimes the human body has its own Amazon device.

[Katie]

What are you talking about?

[Pablo Torre]

Fog it up?

[Katie]

Hold on. I'm gonna move.

[Pablo Torre]

I'm not using the temperature of the human body. And then you wipe it down.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Amazon device.

[Katie]

Is that okay? If I do it wrong, I do everything right. Can I do this wrong?

[Pablo Torre]

I feel like there are micro abrasions throughout the lens.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Oh, you're gonna have micro abrasions like crazy.

[Katie]

Yeah, these things suck. I. You know, I wore broken glasses for three years before I finally was like, I deserve to upgrade these. I just. I don't like taking care of myself. I don't enjoy the act of taking care of myself.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Something I think about a lot is the invention of the mirror. I've been thinking about this a lot lately.

[Katie]

Screw that.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

And if it hadn't been for that, you wouldn't have to.

[Katie]

Do we have cameras for the invention?

[Pablo Torre]

Do we think a person. There's a person who invented the mirror as opposed to a discovery.

[Katie]

Discovery of a thing.

[Pablo Torre]

Of a thing that I don't know.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

The thing I think about all the time is, like, if you got a haircut in the year, like, you know, six, would you just have to, like, go down to the lake and be like, does this look good? Be like, no, nobody splash.

[Katie]

And then I want to see what this looks like too long. Because you're so handsome.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

What if you look at you like that? Yeah, exactly.

[Katie]

That could happen.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

It could happen to any. Yes, that's right. Little Echo and. Narcissus.

[Katie]

Nurse. Nars. Nars. Narcissus. That's right.

[Pablo Torre]

Justus von Liebig found or is credited with inventing the silvered glass mirror. In what year do you think this was?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Eight Eustace Teens.

[Pablo Torre]

German chemist.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

German chemist.

[Pablo Torre]

German chemist.

[Katie]

How late is it?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

That's. That's. I'm surprised to be early. This feels like one of those things where if we look it up someplace else, they're going to be like, a Chinese dude invented this a thousand years before.

[Pablo Torre]

Admittedly, I always have to say this. Now, this is the AI overview.

[Katie]

Isn't that crazy that now more than ever, I feel like. Well, I should say I got this from the Internet, so. So, God only knows.

[Pablo Torre]

McGill University has backed this up separately. Okay.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I'm putting him at 1305.

[Katie]

I think it's, like, creepy late, but I don't want to be so wrong that it's embarrassing. So I'll say, five years after what he said.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

That's another Jeopardy. This is not.

[Katie]

This is Price is Right game show. Right? We're not all the same.

[Pablo Torre]

The price is wrong. 1835.

[Katie]

Okay.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Check the tape.

[Katie]

I said in 18. I said in 18.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

And then I was like.

[Katie]

You said early. I was like, oh, I feel stupid.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

There's no.

[Katie]

Damn it, Katie. Believe in yourselves.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

You're telling me none of those people, King Tut, none of those had a mirror?

[Katie]

No. Because I think once we got the mirror, then we got the lens, then everything changed. Like, glasses happened and. And all that. You wouldn't have needed any.

[Pablo Torre]

Are you doing a Don Draper sales pitch for mirrors right now?

[Katie]

Yeah, I think.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Or maybe they. Maybe this had, like, reflective surfaces that weren't mirrors. Is that possible? Like, could you have. I. I don't even know.

[Pablo Torre]

Let me give you some fine print on Eustace von Lbig in 1835.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Okay.

[Pablo Torre]

A discovery by the great German chemist Justus von Liebig in 1835 made mirrors widely available. Liebig found a way to coat Glass with a thin layer of metallic silver by depositing the metal directly by means of a chemical reaction. So when it comes to the question, according to McGill University's page, how are mirrors made? The answer is, Eustace von Liebig, 1835, discovered that.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Do you think he gets, like, his estate gets a nickel every time you look in a mirror? They should. Every time you look, you got to send a nickel to Eustace Estates.

[Katie]

Okay. I'm glad we covered that.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

It's something I've been thinking about a lot. I should have made that my topic for the day.

[Katie]

Do you have embroidered sweatshirts?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Yeah, that's my. Those are my initials right there.

[Katie]

That's some fancy guy.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

My wife got me one, I think, like, as a semi joke, and then I wore it every single day.

[Katie]

And now it's like your own merch.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Yeah. Not available in stores. Available in stores. If you.

[Katie]

Your sweatshirt is right, I assume you.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

You could probably. You could probably hire J. Crew to put the same letters on it, right?

[Pablo Torre]

Promo code Eustace.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Exactly.

[Katie]

Interesting. Interesting.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Yeah. I'm actually interesting guy.

[Katie]

Kind of a fashion icon.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Yeah, well, I'm pretty interesting. It is.

[Pablo Torre]

What was the super bowl like for you guys? Did you guys.

[Katie]

I went to a party.

[Pablo Torre]

Me, too.

[Katie]

I haven't been to a Super bowl party, and, like, not a big one, but I haven't been to a. A social gathering for the super bowl in a long time.

[Pablo Torre]

Why did you go?

[Katie]

Because I. I had no reason not to. People that I liked were all going to watch the super bowl together.

[Pablo Torre]

I think this is coming out of an episode that we did. Committing to going to parties.

[Katie]

Yeah, I know. I'd love to go to a party, but years before I was going to the super bowl, you see, I had work, and then usually I would either go to the game or I would leave because the network didn't want to pay for me to be there for the actual Super Bowl. So I would go watch it, like, on my way back home somewhere.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

She would be like, in the city of the super bowl, but.

[Katie]

Or I would be, like. I'd fly home and watch it, or I'd be, like, stuck on a layover or something. Then last year, Dan. Like, the last couple years, like, Dan went. And so I was just, like, at home watching it alone. And then this year, I went to a party, and I was like this. I'd spend such a long time. You miss a lot of stuff, but you don't care. That's exactly what this type of super bowl was for. For me was like, I don't really care. Gun to my head, Go Birds. But I don't really care. I'll watch the halftime show. Excited for that. But, like, don't have any high hopes for the commercials. It's been a couple of years of being disappointed by the commercials, so I'm not like, I need to sit down and make sure I see them all. I was like, I'll catch the ones that matter tomorrow when somebody says something about it online.

[Pablo Torre]

Right.

[Katie]

I'm just going to go watch the game and hang out.

[Pablo Torre]

So I have been to a Super Bowl. I went to the Atlanta Super Bowl. It was the Patriots, Rams. It sucked.

[Katie]

Yeah. That was a very boring Super Bowl.

[Pablo Torre]

It was like 10 to 13 or whatever.

[Katie]

There was a lot of threes in that.

[Pablo Torre]

Yeah. I remember sitting there falling asleep during the game and saying aloud at one point. I missed the commercials.

[Katie]

Yeah. And the halftime show was. Okay.

[Pablo Torre]

I don't remember what it was.

[Katie]

It wasn't what it. It wasn't. It didn't go like I wanted it to.

[Pablo Torre]

I assume that Michael Cruz Kane's super bowl party is mostly him singing snippets.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

From me with the volume off. I'm telling everyone else to be quiet while I sing Les Mis. And the Super Bowl's on.

[Pablo Torre]

I texted you guys for, I think what is obvious to anybody who has seen us previously on this program cover a, like, truly insanely developing story.

[Katie]

Yes. About Belichick's girlfriend, Jordan.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Jordan.

[Katie]

I think it's just Jordan. Jordan. Okay. Jordan.

[Pablo Torre]

Look at how it's spelled.

[Katie]

You're right.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I like saying, like, Jordan because it. It feels like she's from the Superman universe. Like.

[Katie]

Yeah. Gorgon.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Jordan.

[Katie]

Jordan.

[Pablo Torre]

I believe that we need proof that she isn't based on the. I haven't seen any Ascent.

[Katie]

That's right. In a Super bowl commercial.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Battle of the coffee brand band.

[Katie]

This ain't the Dunkings. Where the hell are Matt and Tom?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Forget them suckers. Matt Damon and Tom Brady don't have the heart of a champion. We got a new squad.

[Pablo Torre]

Dunking sequel.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Wool Affleck and Belichick Duncan Kings. So this is just Cameo City. Right? It's just.

[Katie]

That's. That's the Super Bowl. That's what the super.

[Pablo Torre]

How would you summarize the Duncan commercial? The franchise that this now is, I guess, for people who are not seeing this.

[Katie]

Oh, I don't know. It's like a Boston Avengers assemble. Ben Affleck is sitting with his brother in a. Who's wearing a pink Kangal and wasn't the.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Wasn't the brother removed from public view for a while?

[Katie]

He sure was.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

He's coming back in the dunk.

[Katie]

He's come back. No, I think he's come back before this and other stuff, but he. He's here. And. And arguably the better actor. But anyway, in the back, we see Belichick, who cut the sleeves off of his Dunn King's orange jumpsuit.

[Pablo Torre]

Yeah.

[Katie]

And next to him in questionable hair and makeup. I don't know what they're trying to do to Jordan, but it seems like they're trying to make her look like a stereotypical football wife or something. Or this is her aesthetic, and I'm just not familiar with it.

[Pablo Torre]

What was your reaction, Michael, when you saw Jordan?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I was watching the super bowl with my wife, my daughter, and my daughter's friend. Shout out Lupe. And my son was at a Super bowl party. This commercial came on. I screamed, that's his girlfriend. And the three women I was with were like, what are you saying? What are you talking about? And I. Every time they showed her, I went, that's his girlfriend. And I had to explain to him, like, the significance of it. But I was like, he's this age, and she's that age.

[Katie]

I wish that she was 27 so it'd be easier to remember that he's 72 and she's 27, but she's 24. And so it's like, man, this is the closest his age swapped will ever be.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

She's a third. She's a. That's an even third. Boom, boom, boom. Right up to. Right up there.

[Pablo Torre]

There's a guy who's two.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Three Jordans makes one Bill Belichick.

[Pablo Torre]

The fact that she's here, I mean, I just want to point this out, right? Like her being in the super bowl commercial with Bill Belichick in this premise where it's like we're the Boston Avengers and she's just there.

[Katie]

Yeah, It.

[Pablo Torre]

It made me very curious.

[Katie]

She from. She's from.

[Pablo Torre]

I thought she's from the New England area. Again, a former competitive cheerleader.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

We're like 10 minutes away from her being quarterback at UNC.

[Katie]

She has. She has a ring from a cheerleading.

[Pablo Torre]

Bridgewater State University in Massachusetts.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

And she's like a baller. Cheerleader.

[Pablo Torre]

She's won a natty.

[Katie]

A natty.

[Pablo Torre]

Which is to say, look, Jordan has accomplished plenty in her own life.

[Katie]

Sure.

[Pablo Torre]

But in this context. And, like, why. How did she make it into the commercial?

[Katie]

Well, I could name away.

[Pablo Torre]

It set me off on A bit of a mini reporting trail.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Okay, here we go.

[Pablo Torre]

What I have been told is that Jordan essentially has been functioning as Bill Belichick's momager. Momager.

[Katie]

Nuh.

[Pablo Torre]

That is so much better than what I was going to say. But she has represented herself essentially as his de facto agent. The person who you need to go through to book Bill Belichick for a Super bowl commercial or for the other commitments he has as a multi platform personality. She's the gateway. And so in this case, what I have been told reliably is that Jordan happened to then use that power to be in the commercial as well. So again, more power to her, I guess. But she's a momager. Jordan is Katie. I think you had it right. She's Bill's momager.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Absolutely. Good for her. Go get it, girly. You're feeling the phone calls.

[Katie]

Yeah.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Lord knows what it's like being Bill Belichick's 1:30 negotiating with the.

[Katie]

It's also you like you're teaching him the art of yes. He's like in his year of yes. Where you're like, listen, I know you don't want to do it, Bill, but I said yes, and now it's a commitment and now you have to go do it.

[Pablo Torre]

80 for Brady has been outclassed by 24 for I can't make this rhyme. But for Bill Belichick.

[Katie]

I don't know if you saw Charlotte on her podcast sports gossip show had like a theory that they were fighting, that these two were in a fight leading up to the Super Bowl. They think that she's posting to his social media, which would make sense to back up the.

[Pablo Torre]

I've heard this.

[Katie]

And they think at one point in his story he had just posted like the. The text of a link www.linktree.com and it was like the text of that was the story, which is obviously not clickable. It's not how Instagram works. And they thought that Bill made that post. So they must have been in some sort of a fight where he'd be like, I'll do it. And I just think that's interesting in this context of her being his.

[Pablo Torre]

She wasn't chaperoning.

[Katie]

Right.

[Pablo Torre]

That.

[Katie]

Right.

[Pablo Torre]

That story.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

This is actually really interesting intel, but.

[Pablo Torre]

I think the point should not be lost that Bill Belichick is doing literally the opposite of what he used to do.

[Katie]

Yeah. And I want to be clear in saying that that could be. I hold space for the fact. Let me hold your finger. That that could be. That could actually be that. Because they're in love, and she has changed him as a man, and she's taught him about how like to live in the moment and to embrace the opportunities that you have, and that they're, like, so in love with each other, and they just. It's beautiful. There is a chance of that.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Yes.

[Katie]

But when you make moves this way, when we're already going, you're how much younger than him? And then you see her show up in a commercial, and then you hear that she's in char of his career, that's when you go, okay, these are all also the traits of somebody who would be here for the wrong reasons. I need to see some of the traits that are evidence that you are here for the right reasons. Otherwise, you're acting like the evidence is adding up. It seems like you could be taking advantage of the guy, but what if. And he's obviously taking advantage of the girl.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

So that's what I'm saying. If they're both there for the wrong reasons, isn't it the right reason reasons?

[Katie]

No. What is the reason?

[Pablo Torre]

I believe, mathematically speaking, yes, two negatives.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Make a right reason.

[Katie]

At what point is it elder abuse, I guess. Well, is the question.

[Pablo Torre]

I feel like he has his faculties.

[Katie]

He does.

[Pablo Torre]

He has his wits about him.

[Katie]

Sure. For now.

[Pablo Torre]

Do we agree, as a show, as previously established, that we should be able to sit in chairs that are turned the other way, like on the Voice, and listen.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I think about this chat.

[Katie]

I just want to hear y'all talk. Just talk, just talk, just talk.

[Pablo Torre]

And then we can press a button.

[Katie]

Can I say to her credit or not? I don't know if you saw at the NFL Honors, Snoop Dogg made a joke about her football fan for a long, long time. I mean, I remember back when the Cowboys was good.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I remember back when the Chiefs was bad.

[Katie]

And I remember.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

What was it?

[Katie]

Bill Belichick's girlfriend wasn't even born yet. He starts the joke before he remembers the punchline, and then he, like, buys himself some time and then delivers, like, a little too much time.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Like, do you think their relationship is a lot of Bill being like, how do you get the Internet on here?

[Katie]

Tell me what the scores are.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

How do you get. Hey, can you tell me how to get texts on my phone?

[Pablo Torre]

Is it always the same driver in Uber or is it different guys?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

It's like when your dad gets an iPad.

[Pablo Torre]

I wish we were in the writers room for that. For the Jordan material.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Yes, Snoop, if you're looking for writers for the next time you host the whatever that was NFL.

[Pablo Torre]

NFL honors.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Three of us are here ready to.

[Pablo Torre]

Rock an awards show. I do like that the NFL was like, we need an Academy Awards.

[Katie]

So silly.

[Pablo Torre]

I love it. I love, of course, a tortured relationship with winning awards in general. We need and desperately crave external validation.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

And yet not me, buddy. I don't need it from anyone.

[Katie]

Nice.

[Pablo Torre]

That's cool.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Very comfortable. Not a single person self sufficient emotionally and psychologically.

[Katie]

And what are you doing in comedy?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

What's that.

[Katie]

Foreign.

[Chad Ochocinco]

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[Pablo Torre]

I wanted to talk about this Elon.

[Katie]

Story, the video game story. You know, you know, I'm fired up.

[Pablo Torre]

So there are many ways to talk about Elon right now, and many of them are valid. And all of them have to do largely with him now running the federal government and cutting budget to like people who need medicine for aids.

[Katie]

No, he's making it more efficient, Pablo. You just got to give him time. It's going to hurt before it heals.

[Pablo Torre]

I believe that that is a valid method of talking about Elon Musk, but a more, I think directly informative and illuminating one has to do with the story about video games.

[Katie]

I have a lifetime of playing video games. At one point, I was maybe one of the best Quake players in the world.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

You're actually a world class incredible video game player. Yeah, you're also with the Paragon Board and the build. You're also an innovator there.

[Katie]

Yeah. I've played a lot of video games.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

If you think about starcraft or any.

[Pablo Torre]

Game like Quake, any game where a lot of people are playing to rise.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

To the top, you have to be.

[Pablo Torre]

Exceptional, period, as a human being.

[Katie]

Yeah.

[Pablo Torre]

There's to be something exceptional about you.

[Katie]

Yeah.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Are you in the top 20 in the world or top 20?

[Katie]

Wow.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

In Diablo.

[Katie]

Yeah, yeah. Clips from all my favorite shows.

[Pablo Torre]

That's right.

[Katie]

Clips from my programs. Yeah.

[Pablo Torre]

He claimed to be one of the top 20 Diablo players, the forest mage. And he had just become as of November 2024, the number one player in the world. Going to these leaderboards with millions of people on them. He then proceeded to brag about how he then became a top ranked player in a different game, a game known as POE, which stands for Path of Exile. Path of Exile 2 in this case. And this got the attention of some hardcore POE players who were like, what's, what's going on here? How is the world's richest man who is also running the federal government and is involved in electric cars and rockets and space and hyper fast Internet connectivity? How does he have the time that is actually required to get highly ranked in these games? So what happens is Elon goes live. He Streams himself playing Poe 2 and these people, these streamers who are actual like hardcore experts and players are watching.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Dude, you are not this far in.

[Pablo Torre]

The game and you're running past Chaos orbs.

[Katie]

You are not.

[Pablo Torre]

No, I'm sorry, bro, bro, bro. There's no way you are not leaving. Chaos holds on AC trade. AC trade.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Castles are valuable.

[Pablo Torre]

This is a border camp, bro. He has no idea what he's doing. He's no idea what. He literally has no idea what he's doing. And they see that and they're like, something isn't adding up. Elon does not seem to know what he's doing.

[Katie]

Like basic like menu navigation, like I don't know that video game. But watching him kind of walk into wall, you're like, that's how a person that's doesn't play games plays.

[Pablo Torre]

Oh. The best part is that he's bragging about all of this. He's bragging about how he had this, his. This post on X in which he said, quote, so many life lessons to be learned from speedrunning. Video games on max difficulty teaches you to see the matrix rather than simply exist in the matrix. End quote.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Yo, I think this guy sucks.

[Katie]

Based on what evidence?

[Pablo Torre]

So all of these people begin picking up on Reddit, they start compiling this dossier and they're like, okay, he doesn't know how to use a mana flask, which is very embarrassing, obviously.

[Katie]

Very embarrassing.

[Pablo Torre]

He's picking items up by dragging them into his inventory manually.

[Katie]

Right.

[Pablo Torre]

He is struggling to understand why he cannot pick up an item when his inventory is full. And he has maybe indictingly on his account, he has a tab for his maps called Elon's map, which is a weird thing to call it when you have all of the maps. Why wouldn't it just be maps? And so what it turns out to be is, of course, a giant series of lies in which he has hired people to play the game for him. And he just lied about all of the most.

[Katie]

Eventually, he came clean on noticeable thing.

[Pablo Torre]

Great question, Michael. So what happens is Zach Hoyt popular gaming streamer known as asmongold. He said that this is. I mean, part of the crime here is that if you're really into video games, this is horrifically embarrassing. The whole point is that you're actually, like there spending time right in the trenches playing these games. He's the one who said that Musk was insecure in lying about this. It's a truly sad day for gamers. And Elon Musk said in a since deleted post that, quote, he had been on hundreds of streams playing live with the world's best players, and that it was Zach Hoyt, in fact, who was not good at video games. He's good. My critic is bad, actually.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

You're. Who's making this up.

[Katie]

I'm rubber and you're glue.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Your dad had an emerald mine.

[Pablo Torre]

And then he took Zach Hoyt's blue check away, naturally, as you do, because.

[Katie]

It'S not supposed to be about earning it, you know?

[Pablo Torre]

But then finally, as people began to assemble yet more and more evidence, evidence that he, in fact, was doing something that's very common, which is paying other people to level up. Your character. Elon has to do an interview. And in that interview with a gaming streamer known as Nico Rex, he confesses finally. But as a video game enthusiast, Katie, just. Let's talk about the sin involved here.

[Katie]

Yeah, it's the most embarrassing possible outcome. If I told people I was really good at video games, I would live my life petrified that somebody was gonna ask me to prove it. I would never walk around being like, yeah, I'm the best. Oh, you want me to prove it? I would never get on the sticks. Are you out of your mind? Why would you immediately prove it? You thought we wouldn't know the difference. It's this, like. It's the thing about Elon Musk that has never made sense to me is this just blind faith in himself and the fact that everyone will buy it, so it doesn't really matter. And people are willing to give him that credit. And so, like, as a video game person, I'm like, listen, my culture is not a costume. You can't. Like, we don't make fun of people that are good at video games and say they don't have a job. And then a guy with, like, the most money who does the most jobs also is the best at the video games. It doesn't. The world doesn't work like that. And I feel like it's where I go nuts is when I'm seeing, like. Well, for Elon Musk, apparently the world is like that. You can just caught. Be caught telling an incredibly embarrassing lie and then just be in charge of the government. Like, what an embarrassing lie. This used to end people. Stuff like this.

[Pablo Torre]

Yes.

[Katie]

And he's not. He doesn't even go here. He's not even from here. And yet in the face of the most embarrassing lie to be caught in, he's caught in it. And then he's like, by the way, you don't have USAID anymore.

[Pablo Torre]

You're bad.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

And the thing that's so embarrassing about it, because it is so embarrassing, is you don't need this lie.

[Katie]

It doesn't help you in any way.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Just leave it alone. Just be the richest man. But what it makes you think is how you do anything is how you do everything.

[Pablo Torre]

So that's.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

You're lying about this. This is who you are, right? Someone who is so profoundly incapable of feeling loved that you have to jump through. And I'm also. Oh, and. And I'm also the. I'm the best pole vaulter, dad. And I'm also the best at checkers. You're not, bro. Just leave it alone.

[Pablo Torre]

So this is why I. I love this story, is because it is deeply symptomatic of a larger character. And the character is the guy, to Katie's point, who's like, deeply, deeply unworried that all of the morons out there are ever going to catch on, right? And all.

[Katie]

He doesn't respect you guys.

[Pablo Torre]

Like, look at his accounts. Like, the way he handles any conversation about anything is reflective of somebody who just doesn't respect the people reading it. Really.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

It's like, it's so pathetic to me. It's so humiliating. And I have so Much sympathy for someone that pathetic and unloved. Except that he's got the hands on the levers of every badge.

[Katie]

He's got the most money in the most world. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Pablo Torre]

So eventually what happens? Because Elon Musk tries to deny and counter, insult and spin and then he ends up getting in a conversation with a gaming streamer known as Nicorex. And Nicorex asks him point blank quote, have you ever level boosted parentheses, had someone else play your accounts and parentheses and. Or purchased gear resources for POE2 and Diablo 4. And Musk says 100 emoji. It's impossible to beat players in Asia if you don't.

[Katie]

Oh my God.

[Pablo Torre]

Perfect. Just perfect.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Just what an incredible. Like a little a soup saw of racism just to kind of the Asians.

[Katie]

You know what, that soup song, it puts it in people's mouths and then they go, oh, he's right.

[Pablo Torre]

He says all top characters require multiple people playing the account to win a leveling race. He is. He is continuing to now, by the way, he also says he's asked, would you apologize to the Poe 2 community? And he says, what would I be apologizing for?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

And I'm just like, I don't know anything about gaming. So, like, maybe you do if you want to be the number one ranked player. But the point is Pervert five or whatever game you're playing, you might need to have 10 guys get together and all be like, trade in their masturbating points to get to the top of the thing, whatever it is. But. But you should just be honest. Just be like, you know, well, that the thing is. And also he. Sorry, sorry. I'm sorry. One more thing. He sucks though, right? Isn't that we find him.

[Katie]

Yes.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

You're not one of the. It's not. You're like one of the top guys in the rotation. You suck. You're the worst guy on the team.

[Pablo Torre]

He is telling us now officially that he is lying and cheating about wildly small stakes stuff.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Right.

[Pablo Torre]

That isn't actually important to his fortunes, literally speaking. And so the question I have whenever it comes to like, so what do you think of this guy? Is like, just know he's that guy. What else is that guy doing when it comes to stuff that actually does.

[Katie]

Why wouldn't he have the same tactics but probably on like a bigger scale?

[Pablo Torre]

Why do you trust this guy?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

That's awesome.

[Pablo Torre]

He's a liar. He's a cheat. Literally a cheater and a liar.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

His excuse for it also is such a window into his psyche that's like, well, everybody's cheating. Not everybody. No.

[Katie]

Right.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

You think because that's your nature.

[Katie]

Exactly. You're thinking that everybody thinks the way you do.

[Pablo Torre]

He's like a perfect character for our time, though. I don't know.

[Katie]

In a.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

In a cool way, he's literally the avatar for all of civilization right now.

[Pablo Torre]

Who is scoring big in the NBA this season? I got good news. It's you with all the new ways to get in on the action at DraftKings Sportsbook, an official sports betting partner of the NBA. From enormous slams to dishing the rock to cleaning the glass, get behind your favorite players and the prop bets you can make on DraftKings, the home of NBA player props. And here's something special for first timers. New DraftKings customers bet $5 to get $150 in bonus bets instantly. So take it to the rack with DraftKings Sportsbook. Every point counts. So download the DraftKings Sportsbook app and use code Pablo, that is code Pablo for new customers to get $150 in bonus bets. When you bet just five bucks only on DraftKings, the crown is yours.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Gambling Problem Call 1-800- gambler in New York, call 877-8-HOPE NY or text Hopeny 467-369 in Connecticut. Help is available for problem gambling. Call 888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org Please play responsibly on behalf of Boothill Casino and resort in Kansas, 21 and over. Age and eligibility varies by jurisdiction. Void. In Ontario, bonus bets expire 168 hours after issuance. For additional terms and responsible gaming resources, see DKNG audio. I read an article in the New York Post. Absolutely had to be real. Publication had to be real about a trend. Also must be a trend, because the New York Post says that it is.

[Katie]

Two people have done it online about.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Women doing something called labia puffing, where you take filler or like Botox or something and inject it into your labia to make your labia look younger, I guess puffy or certainly puffier.

[Pablo Torre]

What is not in dispute is that it becomes puffier.

[Katie]

The puffier is the younger. We don't have to pretend those are separate.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I believe, I believe that. I guess I don't. What I thought about it the second that I read it is I don't think that most men, and maybe you're not doing it for men. I don't think that most men get to the point in a, in an encounter where they go, I You know, I wish the labia looked younger. I think at that point you're mostly like, I'm actually really enjoying myself and I'd like to keep going in the direction that I was going.

[Katie]

I don't mean to rain on a parade, but I feel like you were not single and seeking. How long have you been married?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

A very long time. I've been married since 2008 or something.

[Katie]

We weren't in our porn brain era.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Okay.

[Katie]

As heavily then.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

So do you think that porn is so in, like, the culture's so infected?

[Katie]

I think it has an effect on the sexual interactions of single people now. I think it's different than it was for us. And this happens in every generation where, like our. Our generation. I don't even really want to talk about this. I feel like our. The difference between my mom's mine was that, like, they couldn't believe we weren't keeping our bush around. And I feel like that was because you wanted to look younger. This might be that. I just think you're right for your. For. It makes sense for you, but I don't know that that's the way it is for kids now.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Yeah, I assume, like how some people don't like Kendrick Lamar. You're like, this is my vest.

[Pablo Torre]

Yeah. This is a. This is a hinge category, I believe. Just like labia.

[Katie]

How. How thick are your labium? Is your. Is one labium and there's like a score. Right.

[Pablo Torre]

This is the headline from the New York Post. Labia puffing is the latest NSFW cosmetic trend quote. I'm getting turned on just looking at myself.

[Katie]

Oh, my God.

[Pablo Torre]

What quote?

[Katie]

What?

[Pablo Torre]

So that was said by a patient, according to this person whose last name is Milhouse, which I appreciate. Milhouse is. Hold on. It's good, isn't there?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I'm sorry to interrupt you, but also, wasn't there recently a like Scrotox? Isn't that also a thing where the. The dudes are injecting the. The.

[Pablo Torre]

The dudes are inhaling my scrota. Google searches, I believe.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Where are you getting beautiful?

[Katie]

And that's to make them less wrinkly, I think.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

To make your less veiny or maybe less droopy or. I don't know why I'm not.

[Katie]

And this is a porn brain. Doesn't change this at all. The balls aren't getting a lot of airtime with my eyes. I'm not really gazing upon your sack. I don't know.

[Pablo Torre]

Behold. Where were you 10 years ago?

[Katie]

What are we doing? I'm do it in the dark. Close your eyes and get off. What are we doing? Why are you like this doesn't hold up under a. In a ring light grow.

[Pablo Torre]

Tox is a cosmetic procedure that involves injecting Botox.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Is this also for what?

[Katie]

To what end? Because you're putting a toxin next to your boys. That's not a good idea.

[Pablo Torre]

Well, According to this Healthline.com story, which I believe is a real publication, but may not be, frankly, Scrotox was first used as a way to relieve scrotum pain. If surgery didn't resolve the issue, that's fine.

[Katie]

That's like, for the jaw people when they have. What's that called? Tmj. And they get Botox for that. And it's like a medical treatment of the thing.

[Pablo Torre]

I've had some tmj.

[Katie]

You might need to get some tox. Or maybe this is like when people say that they broke their nose, but it was actually just a cover for.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

No, I remember I had pretty bad tmj, so I got Botox in my scrotum to kind of fix that. And now my jaw is basically good.

[Pablo Torre]

It was first used as a way to relieve scrotum pain. If surgery didn't resolve the issue.

[Katie]

Sure.

[Pablo Torre]

Since 2016, thereabouts, more and more people are trying it out to purportedly make their sacks bigger and their sex better. I'm getting the signs. I'm not sure health lines, the authority.

[Katie]

That I thought it was going to be sex better.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Really imper.

[Pablo Torre]

Journalistically speaking. Not sure they're sat.

[Katie]

This isn't. This isn't an abstract long.

[Pablo Torre]

This. This is not helping my journalist.

[Katie]

So the topic you brought was that we're making our lips puffier.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I'm talking about. Well, it was jaw, chin, chins. But that made me think of. I had recently read a thing in the post about labia puffing, which made me think of a thing that I had also recently read about Scrotox. And you can sort of from this, tell what the aggro algorithm is doing.

[Katie]

What's the jawline thing?

[Pablo Torre]

Right. So the jawline trying to change you.

[Katie]

And I don't think you should change yourself at all.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Thank you. Thank you so much.

[Katie]

Except your balls, they are shriveling and could use a bit more.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Yeah, I'm posting a lot of.

[Pablo Torre]

Yeah, yeah, you should make your sacks bigger.

[Katie]

We've all been thinking it bigger. I'm glad we're finally saying bigger.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

So, wait, what was the jawline thing? The jawline thing was guys getting. Getting hardcore jawlines like, you Know, like, taking fat from the back of the. Allegedly, like, Matt Rife. Matt Rife's in the article.

[Pablo Torre]

Can you explain Matt Rife's Handsome Squidward. Very good, Very good.

[Katie]

No, Matt Rife started his big pop, I believe, was he was on Wild N Out. He was on Wild and he looked very different then. So it was like it's. He, you know, it was on tv, so you can look it up. Then he. I saw him re. Enter the public consciousness via TikTok. He did a lot of crowd work, which is famously what a lot of comics post, because they don't want to burn their material. So you just post your crowd work. But he sort of rode that wave of crowd work clips. People really liked him. Predominantly women. He had a very female audience and fan base. Then he put out his first Netflix special when he had all these female eyeballs on him, and he felt the need to open it up with a very hacky, sexist joke, which women were like, what? And he, like, made this joke and then clearly wanted it to be taken the way that it was. He wanted it to offend people and let them know he's one of the boys. Then he did like a Jordan Peterson interview, and you were just like, okay, so you're pivoting in a way I don't really follow. And. Sorry, I got. I lost the plot. He got facial surgery. Yeah, it's rumored. It's widely rumored. He looks so different now. He looks like a male model. He's got, like, male model jaw. And then somebody was like, you know, he was on Wild and Out. People looked it up and they were like, that's not what his chin looked like before. And then I believe there was a plastic surgeon who posted that he did Matt Rife's chin.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

You said you didn't read this article.

[Katie]

But you're reciting firsthand knowledge. I remember this happening. A plastic surgeon posted that he gave Matt Rife his chin implant. Matt Rife was like, that's not true. And then the surgeon was like, now you can't take a joke? It was this whole big. I think it's weird when plastic surgeons post online about who their patients are. Anyway, that feels like a HIPPA thing.

[Pablo Torre]

Feels like it.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Which is what makes you feel like it's not true, because I feel like you actually literally could not.

[Katie]

Could not. Right. So. And so anyway, that. That was the. There was a lot of talk about his face, and it has seemed like, as with a lot, open that door to plastic surgery. It seems like he's reached A point where it's like getting to be. He's letting too much of. You gotta like close the door and step away for a little. You don't look like a. You're getting uncanny Valley, honestly.

[Pablo Torre]

Right.

[Katie]

Sorry, I blacked out. Was I talking?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I would say you went kind of insane for a minute there. You sort of did a thing where I think you were like, I don't know that much about this. And then proceeded to give us, I think from birth, every detail about that. Right.

[Pablo Torre]

You were speaking in tongues at one point.

[Katie]

Special wasn't good. Did I say that?

[Pablo Torre]

But this doctor had claimed something. Yes. That he created for a quote unquote canceled celebrity. The greatest jawline ever seen. And this is a thing. The greatest jawline is an aspiration. Michael, how would you describe what the aesthetic is?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I guess it would be like, look at me.

[Katie]

Right.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

And then be like a sort of that.

[Katie]

I'd say like, look at. Find your face.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Yeah. Like find a picture of me on the Internet. Or like look at me right now. Pause.

[Katie]

Michael Cruz Kane.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Pause the video right now and just be like. Okay. So it's kind of like sort of like that. Like people would pay, I think a million or a billion dollars. They're saying for this, right.

[Katie]

To look just like you.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

To look like me. They'll do the whole. They'll do the whole face. Yeah.

[Katie]

Right.

[Pablo Torre]

$12,000. Well, draw a line. A real bargain.

[Katie]

I don't know, man. I just feel like if. If your face. The best version of your face to me is going to be the one that you got. Because it's like it all kind of works in. You don't realize that if you add to your jaw now your cheeks look small.

[Pablo Torre]

That's what the scrotum said. And look what happened.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

But I do. I think that. I think the thing that you've alluded to that does happen frequently that we all know is you start with the one thing and then you're like, oh, you know what? I gotta.

[Katie]

And then you fine tune too much. I do it with a lot of stuff in my life, which is why I have not yet and will eventually probably open this door and start to.

[Pablo Torre]

Work on this to get hyper masculine job.

[Katie]

Once I start like want to. If I'm going to buy furniture for my house, I want to research all my options, narrow it down based off on what I'm looking for, find the best possible available couch for me.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

But what ends up happening, as you're saying is you buy. You've got youring shitty house that you live in and you put a fire couch in the living room and you're like the. The rest of the living looks like.

[Katie]

Yes, exactly.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

So now we got to redo everything.

[Katie]

Exactly. And on a deeper, weird psychological level, if I look in the mirror right now, thanks to Leader von Sleif or whatever, and I. And I correct, and I don't like what I see, not my fault. But if I start to play with it and I look in the mirror and I don't like what I see, that's my fault. I told them to give me this nose. I picked these brows. Right now, none of this is my fault. I'm doing the best I can with what I got.

[Pablo Torre]

So this is where I believe there's a through line that connects us through our topics today.

[Katie]

Because it's beautiful. God damn it.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Incredible.

[Pablo Torre]

Because the hyper masculine jawline I would use to point to in the barbershop of hair, of jawlines is Tom Brady.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Oh, yeah.

[Katie]

I'm sorry I voted you.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Thank you so much. I voted. Me too.

[Katie]

Right? You're outweighed. So actually.

[Pablo Torre]

But we saw.

[Katie]

I mean, is that his.

[Pablo Torre]

I don't know if he had that. But in terms of just like somebody who is tweaking himself in ways that are conspicuous.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

He's been tweaked for sure.

[Pablo Torre]

For sure.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

He's been tweaked.

[Pablo Torre]

Now, did he get. And what Dr. Benjamin Coughlin, aforementioned, alleged. Maybe, maybe not. Matt Rice, plastic surgeon. Did he get the Benjamin Coughlin face bbl?

[Katie]

Oh, my God.

[Pablo Torre]

Which moves fat from one part of the face to the other. 41% of his clients these days, his patients are male.

[Katie]

Well, it's about time. I will say that part. It's about time you guys start worrying about what you look like.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Yeah, I like how the direction we've gone in, which is like, there's sort of these various pressures on women. Instead of being like, we're gonna fix that, it's like, you know, what we'll do is we'll just pressure for everybody. Everybody's problem.

[Pablo Torre]

Yeah, I'm gonna break my legs and have rods inserted into them to become taller.

[Katie]

Did you hear Chad Ochocinko tell Stephen A. Smith he got his penis done?

[Unknown Speaker]

We were in action, and she said in my ear, go deeper. Stay with me now. And what hurt me is I was already all the way in, so I had ran out of pee pee. And that is what caused me to get into amateur porn so I could perfect my craft in the pelvic area so I would never have to Hear that again. I'm here to share my stories and my shortcomings back then. I've had surgery since then.

[Pablo Torre]

Can I read you this headline from New York Magazine, June 3, 2016?

[Katie]

Yes.

[Pablo Torre]

Chad Ochocinko says he's packing a three inch penis.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Oh, so that's from 2016 you said. Yeah.

[Pablo Torre]

I'm realizing that this is so.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

He's been talking about his penis size for a long time and somehow we.

[Pablo Torre]

Have not heard it.

[Katie]

Yeah. Also, I don't think you're allowed to use. I think there's a threshold for use of packing. I don't think you're allowed to pack a penis smaller than 5, 6. I haven't checked in a while. There's definitely a threshold and three does not meet it.

[Pablo Torre]

What verb would you prefer he use?

[Katie]

He is in possession of sealed, carrying. He is. He's cherishing.

[Pablo Torre]

He is unburdened by.

[Katie]

He is protecting 3 inch penis. Chad Ochocinko is in possession of a 3 inch penis.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

And I think that's wonderful. I think it's great.

[Katie]

Well, not anymore. He doesn't have a strange penis.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Whatever size it is, I think it's great.

[Unknown Speaker]

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[Pablo Torre]

What did we find out today on Pablo? Tori finds out a show about finding out about apparently 3 inch penises.

[Katie]

I think what we found out today was it's never anything.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I. I didn't know about all these fun games you could play about the Diablo 4 and the Poe 2 and how you could be a. Oh, maybe I said the thing about a four.

[Pablo Torre]

You sound like. You sound like Bill Belichick trying to.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Trying to explain like RPG video games.

[Katie]

I found out Jordan is his. Is his momager. I did find that out. I didn't know that coming into today. Sorry. It's really important to me to like make sure I give him something and I never bring it prepared because I'm supposed to find it out.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

You're doing great.

[Katie]

Sorry, I just. I think I found out that she's as momer.

[Pablo Torre]

I. I think that's true. I co sign that I found out that. Oh. Oh.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Say it. Yeah. Good. This is good.

[Pablo Torre]

When I look at my scrotum later.

[Katie]

Today, which everyone does at 7pm, I.

[Pablo Torre]

Know who to thank for the mirror I'm standing in front of Perf. This has been Pablo Torre Finds Out a Meadowlark Media production and I'll talk to you next time.