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She's very busy. We're happy to have her time. Robbie Hoffman is on Hacks Rooster, hbo. She's got her own special. Robbie Hoffman, Wake up. Everyone says that one is Must watch. She's got a podcast Too Far with Robbie Hoffman. It seems like all of this is too much. You've got too much going on. All your dreams are coming true. It seems like too much, not too much at all.
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B
I'm not having kids. This is what I do, you know, I. This is how I toil. This is, you know, whether. Whether you knew the credits or not, I'd still be doing those things, you know, whether. Whether it was fruitful or not. It's kind of what I do. Poor or rich or anything because I just committed to doing it. It's fantastic that you know of all those things now. Obviously it's a much better way for it working out, but I think either way I would have been doing a lot. And in some cases, I argue, when you're not, you're doing a lot more before people know what you're doing. You know, when I was doing mics and stuff like that, I would do four or five mics a night sometimes. So in many ways, you're doing less but bigger things.
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A
Well, but you're saying. I have read you say that this is your calling, and answering your calling is a nightmare. So you're gonna have to.
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B
Yeah, I don't. I don't think people want a call. I mean, maybe if you're, like, rich or something and you want a calling, you want, like, a purpose in your life or whatever, it's too eas. I. You know, I would like to think that maybe the easy life is better. But, yeah, doing a calling when you're poor, it's like, there's no guarantee of payoff. So versus I could have been an accountant, I could have gotten paid every two weeks. That, to me is heaven.
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A
Is it really just safe security, well paid, two weeks. But heaven for you would not be heaven for you would not.
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B
But then I found this, and I had to grind doing this, and I hate that word, but it's like, you know, you're extending your poverty for a very long time. It's not fun.
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A
I've never heard anyone call a calling a nightmare. You're the only person I've ever heard do that.
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B
Well, it's a disaster. If you have money to do your calling, that's fantastic. But when you don't, it's constant worry you're making no money for so long, or little money, you're stretching things. And I grew up in a house that was very capable of stretching, so I stretched.
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A
All right, I want to go through the timeline and the biography. Nine siblings sounds crazy. Like, that sounds like a household. That's nuts.
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B
It's nuts.
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A
What are the details that are worth sharing on what you remember of fighting for everything with nine siblings?
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B
I mean, it was really everything. You know, popsicles came in boxes of eight. My mother only bought one box. We were 10 kids. So it's kind of like musical chairs with the fucking popsicles. You know, at some point, two people didn't get. So it's like that, you know, unless it was a steep sale on the popsicle. So two for one. A bogo. We went. She wasn't buying two boxes. So it's everything. It's my bath water. It's. You know, I remember at seven, finally speaking to my mother and said, you know, I think I'm ready for my own bath. I can't take a bath with these animals. They're pissing my Brothers would piss. And I said, I'm seven years old. I think it's, you know, gray bath. I think it's fine. I have my own bath. Even 10 minutes, I'm not asking much. I can't shower with these animals. I mean, look at them, you know, the penis. It's like another shower. I don't need this. It's like I'm not even getting clean in there. They're disgusting. So things like that. Just a ton of us being in the bath. My toothbrushes were really grimy. That sticks out. I remember we had, like, a blue sink, you know, those old porcelain, you know, we moved into my great Uncle Eddie's house, so nothing had been renovated. But my mother had, like, a jar of our toothbrushes and just the petri dish of the toothbrushes. You know, 15 toothbrushes. God knows she was trying to swap them out. She always tried. But at a certain point, you know, so I don't know, it's hard to pinpoint specifics because the whole thing was different. That's why I say, like, you know, in my relationship, you know, Gabby and I both come. Were similarly cut in that we don't come from money. She grew up a little more, you know, marginally, you know, under better circumstances, but she was a military brat, moved around a lot. So, you know, it's a give and take. But, yeah, dating. Dating outside of your class or how you grew up to me feels like a huge dating outside of the faith for that reason. Because if you both grew up poor or me stretching things, you understand the day in and the day out of that. It's a whole lifestyle versus if you grew up rich. It's like everything is different. It's just a totally different world.
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A
I have a number of different questions off of that. First, I was asking you about sort of the chaos of it, and you're remembering other specific details. Right. But it seems like that's all chaotic. And then the anxiety caused by what you're talking about, which is if you're always stretching, you're never satiated.
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B
No. And, you know, in terms of the chaos, I mean, we had, you know, we were 10 kids in about 12 years. So at one point, there were eight teenagers living in a very small space. I have five brothers. They were violent, fighting with each other, bigger than my mother. And we couldn't get them off of each other at times or off of me or we all physically and verbally fought, like, psychotically, like, punching, like. And my mother is, you know, five feet and A small lady, so couldn't get us, but. But we were just bursting at the seams in this house.
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A
Were you the funniest one in the house?
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B
No. Everybody was very funny. A lot of people were funny. I was psychotic in the house. I don't think I was known as funny at all in the house. I was angry and I hated my brothers, which is. I love them now, but I cried a lot. It just was not a good environment as a teenager. It was very depressing to some extent. I moved out early and so did pretty much everybody. But I don't know. I don't know that the funny really came till later.
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A
Not comfortable in the chaos, though, right? Like, how would anybody like my mother.
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B
We all laughed at my mother together, and we were all funny in our ways. And we all also had really good times. Like, we weren't only fighting. Like, everything was everything all at once.
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A
Well, it was just so many people. You're in a very cramped, tight space.
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B
But we had, like, lots of fun times with my brothers, too, and, you know, late night, going to buy snacks at the corner store, you know, watching shows together. And there was, like, a lot of good, too, but it was just, yeah, chaotic. That's what I'm saying. The good, the bad, the ugly, the everything, the funny, the sad, all of it, all the time.
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A
How anxious were you and how freeing was it to get out of that house and then start having your own?
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B
Well, people ask me if I'm, like, nervous to do standup. Like, let's say I have a show. You know, am I nervous? I say, yeah, I'm always nervous. I mean, it's not particular to stand up, but I wake up. I'm a nervous individual. It's my baseline. You know, if I wasn't nervous, I don't even, you know, that would be a problem. But that is. I operate at a small level of nervous. You know, it's. I have anxiety and not depression. I know. Well, I had to go through that journey to figure out. Because I was trying to figure out a medicine because I was so anxious to the point of a depression. But what they realized is I went on this med. This is years ago, because I wanted. I was like, I can't live like this anymore. And it made me crazier because what it was, was an antidepressant. And by the way, everything works differently for everyone. I'm on something a lot more helpful now, but. And an anti. Sorry, it was an anti. Yeah, it was an antidepressant and an antidepressant brings you up because people are down, but I'm already up. So I was up here. I was, like, really feeling crazy. So what I need was a depressant. I needed something to bring me down, you know, to baseline. So, you know, over the years, you know, sometimes meds, sometimes not, but overall realizing, like, oh, I can have a glass of wine at the. Like, wine is a downer. For instance, when I have a glass of wine, that's good for me. Some people, they're already down, it makes them depressed. But I could stand a couple notches. I could have a little bit more of that. So I'm baseline anxious. To answer the other part of your question, what was it?
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A
The freeing parts.
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B
Yeah. When I was a kid living in that house of chaos, I cried every day. I do remember thinking that I got home from school, I would have some sort of a tantrum, psychotic fit. Like, my brothers called me psycho for a time because I would just scream on the floor, kick and scream on the floor. My mother would close the door, I would kick the door. I just would be in a state of hysteria, quite literally. And I cried every day. And then when I moved out, I almost never cried again. I barely cry. It's the weirdest thing. It was, like, immediately free. Yeah, I do. You know, and now it takes something, like, very, you know, a movie I can cry at or, you know, my grandfather's funeral, may he rest in peace, or things like that. But I'm not crying for, like, no reason. I used to just cry, like, and. And I don't cry at all. You know, it's so funny. My wife says, oh, my God, it breaks her heart when I cry. Like, because the few times. Because she could cry, it. Look at this. Give me puppy. Oh, babe, they're killing the puppy. She's gone. You know, a lot of people. Yeah, yeah. No, but I'm just saying it's horrible, but I'm saying it's like, turn the video off. You know what I mean? It's like, I just. It takes me a real, real thing to cry now, but I used to cry.
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A
This is cry worthy. This is not.
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B
Yeah. I don't even, like, choose it. But I'm just saying that I used to just go crazy.
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A
Like, what was happening, though? What are the roots of it? Like, clear that you're.
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B
I was like, yeah, I was. I was. I was suffocating. I was in a room with. With my other sisters. My brothers were extremely loud. They were suffocating.
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A
So it's not. No reason. You're Unhappy.
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B
No, exactly. I was extremely distressed. I was extremely distressed.
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A
So much so that in adulthood, your baseline is still nervous.
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B
Yeah, I'm still, like, nervous, but I'm not distressed. I'm comfortable nervous. It was kind of like on a large scale when Covid happened, all the anxious people go, oh, great. Like, we actually calmed down. Like, I knew this would happen. I knew it was ending. Like, it's almost like you get a diagnosis, you go, ah. And finally it ended. The worst happened. Like, you're honestly, like. And I feel crazy or I feel some. Some amount of guilt that when the world is quote, unquote ending or this I tend to do well. I sold my first show in Covid. I was on the road. I was starting to really sell tickets. People couldn't even leave their houses. Good.
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A
During the apocalypse.
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B
I literally was so comfortable in the storm that I actually thrive in the storm. Like, I'm actually, like, out there. Like, and. And I sometimes feel guilt because it's like you hear the writer strike and nobody's working. I'm in two shows. Like, you know what I mean? It's. It, you know, knock on wood. But it's like, I guess I need that pressure. I need that collapsibility to have that survival that I'm here. It's almost like my thesis, my hypothesis, I should say not quite yet, you know, on A.I. yeah, no, it's not a doctorate graduate, but A.I. has been such an existential threat to so many. And it is. It really is a threat in many ways that we don't know. In some ways we can articulate. But the other part of it that I feel is like, we could be entering the greatest Renaissance, artistically speaking. And I'm already been seeing this for a few years. I've been speaking to it. But, you know, television has gotten cinematic, Quite literally cinematic. You look at stranger things or you look at severance and, you know, each episode. And, you know, we've had A.I. slot before A.I. you know, Marvel, and all these movies have been doing AI Slop before AI was even here. So it's almost like they ushered in. So, fine, you want. You want equation movies. You want mathematical formulaic movies. Okay, AI can do that, and no problem. But the undertone of that, and I think we've seen it in history before, where whether it's the Renaissance or any other large periods of change is an existential threat. Some humans, humanity does really well with that survival instinct. It to be kicked on. It has to be. It has to be kicked on. And this Existential threat that we've never seen before is already kicking on. Like, I think in the next five to 10 years, we might see some of the greatest art that ever was made by humans, some of the greatest television. I'd like to think I'm included in that. Stay tuned on hbo. Some of the greatest filmmaking, some of the greatest fine artists. As if to say, we were here,
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A
and then it's gonna kill us, potentially.
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B
But think about the period.
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It's gonna make some. But think about Rooster.
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B
You know, you'll have Michelangelo come out. You'll have lots of. We might have these. You know, we might have everlasting art.
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A
You've gotten good at nervous, then.
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B
Yes, I'm baseline nervous. You know, even taking an SSRI or taking something to help, it's like my thing. Like, I'm never not gonna be nervous. You know, I can be less nervous. That's nice. That's, like, you know, normal. But I don't think people are without. And especially in our climate, like, you. You say, I don't think anybody is gonna be free completely of nerves or this. Some people aren't gonna be baseline, like me, coming from that. But I think these are all things to pay attention to. You know, it's. It's like when somebody's offended by a joke of mine or something, I. I go, okay, like. Like, are you expecting to live a life without being offended? Like, I don't understand that. Like, I'm gonna be happy, I'm gonna be sad, I'm gonna be angry. I'm gonna be offended. I'm gonna be thrilled. I'm gonna be excited. I don't expect a life without one, like, particular. Like, I don't expect to genetically modify a life. And I want this, and I want this, but I don't want this, and I don't want this. I'm expecting to go through a lot of it.
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A
Are nervous and anxious synonyms? Because you seem very comfortable in knowing who you are. And part of that would be knowing and accepting that you're nervous is a starting point on all the things that can be judged as.
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B
Yeah, I'm an expert on me because I've had the most experiences. It. You know, I always feel like in, like, if God's, like, assigning souls to bodies or however we get made. Okay. I picture God going, like, yeah, you're okay. And you're out in Florida, and you're going, okay, fantastic. And it gets to me, and I'm like, God, he put me in me. And I go, do you have anything else. It's kind of a weird one now. I mean, what is it? What is she? Is she. What's going on there? And he's like, it's just what you got. You take it or leave it. And I'm like, all right, I guess. And so I get sent to the planet and it's like, I've done well for what I am. I don't think everybody could do this, but I was given this and I did pretty good with it. I did pretty good with it. I've gotten us pretty far, but it's not an easy one to have. I could have been a mom in the Midwest, you know, there's a lot of lives I look at, wow, what's that like? You know, because this one's a weird one to be. But I got it. And it is what it is. Folks, listen up. The NBA playoffs are here and DraftKings
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- [20:44]
B
Nothing, I just, I don't need anything from people. I want, I like people to, you know, I don't, I, I don't need specifically anything from them. I don't know from nobody. Yeah, I can't imagine, I mean, I'm sure like I need health care and those people, you know, and I need, you know, I more have requests like, please don't be violent towards me and please, you know, I'd like not to be raped. And I have like. But I don't need anything from them.
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A
But what great security to have that level of self sufficiency to answer that question that quickly. I don't need anything, right?
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B
No, I've never, you know what I needed money over the. I've been begging for money my whole life. Even as a kid. You know, when I went to university, I got in on subsidy and not everybody in my family went to university. And I do remember having to sit down with, you know, you had an appointment every semester with the academic advisor and the accounts lady and you know, they kind of went through your budget and to see if you were still poor. And I was like, you know, and I remember on my student budget I put like $3 for miscellaneous a month. And she was like, well, you know, I was like, well he was like 170 last month. Like, you know, I just, I was always defending my life. I was always like making as much money as I could and needing more of it. I was always working like bad jobs, whether it was at a cafe or whatever, and like getting by like to 80% but needing like if I could get some help. So if anything, I only needed money from people. And that's not even really from people. That's like a created, you know, but that was really it.
- [22:48]
A
Begging. You're using that like you're thinking of that literally from childhood. Like when you say you're just always
- [22:53]
B
begging for money in, in ways that aren't like, so like I wasn't on the street begging because there is begging and I don't want to take away from that, but just in more subtle ways. I was always, you know. Yeah. Trying to get some help financially and doing what I could to say, by the way, I'm also like, I'm doing what I can. Like, I'm doing, you know, I'm gonna, I'm not just like trying to take money and not do anything. Like I'm trying to get you back, you know, So I don't know.
- [23:29]
A
Your. Let's call it the grind of the calling's a nightmare. How many years are you spending inside of. I have to do this, but it sucks doing it because for now there's no money in doing it. And I have to support myself because all of this is for. Not if I can't make a career of it.
- [23:50]
B
Well, I always did like both. I never, like, left my day job for a very long time. In the beginning of doing it, when I heard about Stand up, he was like a whisper. Like, I kind of. I was living in Montreal, I was in university, and they had the festival there. And I was living kind of a Keeping up with the Joneses. Like, I wanted to be like other kids who went to university, got educations and this sort of thing. But most of those kids had their parents bankrolling it and doing everything. So I was working 35 hours, just. Just sometimes 30 hours to 35 hours, almost full time. I was working almost full time, always, and also doing full time school. But I felt like I had to do that to compete. Because if I did school slower, if I took only three classes and not five or something, then it would look like I was poor. Like, oh, why did you take five years to finish? Or, you know what I mean? So I. I felt like to compete, I have to, like, look the part and thank God I'm white and everything else, because there's a whole other slew of issues in the country that I don't deal with. So a lot of inherited good stuff too, or stuff that made it easier a little bit or a bunch. But I do remember when I started getting paid, when I started, like, working and getting paid every two weeks, I was like, kind of, you know, making it. And that was my sense of making it, having a stable job. Like, I was like, oh, my God, okay, I could be okay. Because I remember thinking, if I make it to 30, I'll know if I'm okay or not, like, at 30. But this is much before that. And I heard about the festival. I heard about stand up comedy. Now, it's not like I never knew of stand up comedy in my house. There I was. My brothers were fans of stand up, but I was so. I hated my brother so much as a teenager, I really didn't pay attention to what they did. In fact, the more. The less I knew, the better. I was like, look at them. So, you know, there was always. And also, my mother is extremely culturally savvy and was at the Library and we had a tons of like comedy but I didn't know per se, stand up. And I remember just sitting in my, you know, hearing it as a whisper, something I could do, you know, and enjoying it, like just. But I was like, you know, because you're not doing that. You just got this good job. You could be in this job forever. You could have 25 year job.
- [26:27]
A
What job is that?
- [26:29]
B
I was working as a junior, I was trying to study accountant, but I got an internship while I was still studying.
- [26:35]
A
You'd be really unhappy in that job if that's what you had chosen.
- [26:37]
B
Of course. But you know what? I was really sleeping. I was starting to sleep at night and that made me feel 10 times better. Not worrying about money as much. Still always worried to this day. But that whisper got louder. His stand up itch and to the point that it was blaring. To the point that it's like I have to do this. Like I felt like Moses. Why me? I'm in no mood, I don't want, you know. And now I'm much better at listening to myself, my instincts. I think I've been parented, but mostly self parented. You know, I don't have a father. My mother was spread thin and you, you know, and I had the group of my siblings. So my parenting came from a lot of different places. And one of those places is myself. I'm self parented and I think your instincts really develop. Maybe I was young then, thinking, waiting for the whisper. Then it's blaring, then the train is in your apartment. Now I can hear a whisper far away. And I do it now I'm like, oh yeah, that's the move. My decision making is much better for my life. I remember leaving from Montreal to Toronto. That decision was much easier. I didn't. As soon as the whisper happened, I did it. I didn't wait for it to be blaring at me anymore. I can hear myself a lot more clearly. But in the beginning it was very long to make those decisions. So, you know, I don't have short answers. For how long was I doing that? I always, and I tell people this, I kept my job. I was not in a position to just do stand up. I don't know how people do that. I kept my job. I then left the accounting job. I went into sales and different jobs that were slightly more flexible but still really not. And I would just like at the end of the day of work I would change into jeans and I would do standup and I just Never left until I got like a more stable job in a creative space. And that's how I ended up as a writer's assistant for a kid's show. Because that was the first job that I got that was longer than three weeks. Because there were writing jobs that kind of came up that like, I could maybe, like I had at this point in stand up could have a. But they were like two week rooms through. So I'm like, I'm not leaving my salaried, you know, 30,000, 35, you know, 32,500 a year job Canadian. So maybe 25,000 a year for three weeks. Like, I just can't do that. But this one was like a year. And I said a year might be enough time for me to really like pursue it. Yeah, like, okay, a year.
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A
Make a break for it.
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B
And then I ended up being there three and a half years, winning an Emmy for it. And it was like my film school. It was unbelievable. But I did wait a long time. I said, you know, I wasn't able to take the opportunities as young as some of my counterparts.
- [29:49]
A
There was lovely poetry in what you just said of now I can hear a whisper from a distance. Like, there's great learning in what it is that you're describing there. Can you give me the latest example of how discerning your decision making is becoming when it comes to intuition that you can see something from far away, it's faint, but you're like, yeah, I need to have that now. I recognize this feeling.
- [30:11]
B
Yeah. Even my producer for my show and development with hbo, you know, they had me meet with a slew of producer. This person said this, I said this is the person done. I didn't want to meet with anyone else. I know I am the expert in me. I am a PhD in me. And that's like, really valuable, like for my particular business. It's amazing to have an expert on me because I'm the business now. You know, it's kind of like when I was in kids and sometimes we would do. We'd have these big educational calls because when you're writing for children, so, you know, they have cardrails, you actually can't have a threesome. And, you know, so. But a lot of the people that would meet and talk about our scripts were PhDs, people who went to Stanford, people who went like the crazy schools. Like, they're, you know, their educational advisors for PBS or for, you know, children's television. Like, they're like, you know, they have childhood degrees and this and that. And at one point, and so we take their input. You know, they're like, oh, kids are learning this at this age, so if you can integrate this. But at one point, I remember one of the ladies was like pitching and our stories are very funny. I mean, very good kids show Odd Squad. She started pitching like she was like supposed to like, consult on like kids math. And she was pitching and I was like, you know, with all due respect, you may have a Ph.D. in mathematics for children. I have Ph.D. in kids writing. At this point, I'm an Emmy winning children's writer. I started owning that more like this is basically the PhD for this. If they gave this. So it's like, I know story and you know this, but we're not unequal. Like, it's not like just because you have all these letters. So in terms of my business, Robbie Hoffman, I'm PhD. I am Post fucking doc.
- [32:05]
A
When did you become. When was the graduation ceremony? Like, when. What age are you? When you feel like, no, I'm a
- [32:11]
B
PhD, I'm still learning. I'm a student.
- [32:15]
A
You're tenured. I understand, but I'm saying I'm still
- [32:19]
B
issuing papers, I'm still publishing, I'm still doing everything.
- [32:22]
A
When do you get comfortable, right? You go from the distress of baseline nervous chaos in the house to making the choice to, I'm leaving this. And so when do you get start to get all of the comforts? Because the things about you that are most likable and endearing seem to be an authenticity that everybody's like, oh, that's just re. Everything that's happening there is real. She is telling you who it is she is with all of the details. So when did you get that confidence?
- [32:51]
B
You know what? It's. I couldn't. I probably always knew. Here's the thing about me is I always had a feeling that I was right about me. I thought it was weird to be me. I thought, something's off, but something's here. I did think that. And everybody kind of caught on. So now when I get these accolades or things and I go, see, wasn't I saying there was something here? Like, people go, did you. Can you believe this is happening? And I go, I can. Because I was saying. I was saying for a long time, I think there's something here. Am I wrong, by the way?
- [33:28]
A
Not something here. I think the biggest dreams are here. That's different. It's not like you think there's something here is something special, but also, you don't put any limits on your dreams.
- [33:37]
B
No, they're free. I've said this a million times. Dreams are free. But it's like, I literally. I really feel that, you know, like, all the times I had nothing, like, as a kid. And I said, like, I remember being 10, being like, I gotta get out of here. There were roaches coming through the. It was so fucking bad. Every time I had to pee as a kid, I opened the light in the bathroom. We shared a bathroom. And roaches would just scatter. And I remember being like, I gotta get out of here. Like, I have got to get out of here. And I. I felt like I had nothing. I felt like all the kids in my neighbor. I felt like we were all poor and we had nothing, you know? And I felt like even I had more than other kids. We were living in a duplex. I mean, we were much more people. But I had people in building behind me in terrible apartments, you know, and living with their grandparents, too. I mean, I live with my great uncle and whatever, but I felt like I had nothing. But then it hit me. I was like, you know what I have. I have me. I have almost nothing. It's not ideal. We have almost nothing, but we do have me. I kind of liked myself. I always. I don't know where that came from. I kind of was like, okay, like, I got along with myself. I was like, oh, but we do have this. It's very. It's not great. It's not ideal. I don't know what it's worth. I don't think much, but maybe I can trade it up. This, that, whatever, you know? And that's just what I did. I just tried to build me. I was like, okay, like, the only thing we have is this. This is starting point.
- [35:25]
A
But, like, me is one thing, but also believe in me. I also believe that.
- [35:30]
B
Yeah. But I think when you don't have the structure, like. Like peers that we know, the parents. It's not like my parents didn't believe. Well, my father didn't really know about me, but my mother believed in me, but she didn't have the capacity to, you know, to really invest or anything. But so it comes from yourself, like, when you have nothing, when you don't have, like, a lot of. I didn't have a lot of parental ask me how I am, this and that. I didn't have the material, you know, I just had me. So I. That just. That kind of realization took time to know, but I kind of was always there, like, no matter what, okay, I'm still. I'm here. And I was always there for myself. And I just. I just felt like it was close to nothing, but not nothing. And I'm very resourceful and we've had to be that I could maybe make something of this nothing thing, of this tiny nugget of a thing. Maybe I could make something of it. But I'm gonna have to put everything. And the alternative was like, no alternative. It's not like, you know, I could just move back to my house. Like, I didn't have a. It had. It had to.
- [36:42]
A
There's no safety net.
- [36:43]
B
There's no safety net.
- [36:44]
A
There's no plan B.
- [36:45]
B
There's no plan B. And there's no. I made my own plan B. That's why I went to accounting. I said, I have to be my own parents. I can't just let myself go and do. Stand up and be irresponsible. You're going to be poor. So. No, you have to. If you want to pursue something, you have to get a good job. I was mimicking what other people's parents did for them. Like, oh, they went to school and they got a good job. And the parents. So I would mimic that. I knew. I heard of families doing that.
- [37:13]
A
You parented yourself.
- [37:14]
B
So I would tell myself, like, you have to have a good job first. What are you going to do? And then when I had a good job, it's like, okay, you're allowed to also do this.
- [37:23]
A
So,
- [37:25]
B
yeah, I just tried to parent myself. You know, I also had things like being gay and this and that. I said, okay, you're gonna be gay, but it's like, you don't get to do everything. Like, you're not drinking and partying and you're not ruining your life. Like, this is the only thing we have. So, okay, be gay. But you're not. You're not staying out. Go home. Like, I, you know, I allowed my. To me an allowance was being gay. But then it doesn't mean, you know, I still have to work and study. Then you have to do really well in school. You can't just be some gay thing in my head.
- [37:58]
A
I'm like the parent in you tolerate. This is good. We'll do this. We'll be supportive about this. But you're not going to just.
- [38:06]
B
It's not a free fall. You're not reckless. Like, yeah, you have to either do school, you have to work, you have to do something. You know, I always. I feel like that with God too. Like, I don't know how religious or not, you know, I feel there's a sense of something, but I don't know what or if it's involved or anything. I definitely don't think it. You know, we know everything, but I feel like if there is a God, I just, like, lay low. Like, he's already letting me be gay and live this life. And what am I, a professional clown? Like, okay, I did. I can. You know, then I have to do everything else kosher, you know, be a good person, give to charity, like, to help out. Like, I. I like to. I like to, like, not go. I like to balance everything out. Like, okay, you're doing an unorthodox. But here you're gonna, you know, be good. You can't just be reckless. Free for all.
- [38:56]
A
The money thing is quite the trauma, right?
- [38:59]
B
Huge.
- [39:00]
A
Like, is there a way to explain to me in adulthood the damage that it's done? Because I don't know when the fear is of not having money. There are almost no fears that match that.
- [39:12]
B
Right. It's like health. Like, I consider financial health and health. I can explain it because I think it's. Collectively, we have money trauma. I mean, I think, yeah, capitalism and money systems just in general are extremely traumatizing, and they benefit, you know, a few built on the backs of many. It's extremely scary. It's. It's. The whole system is terrifying and it collapses often. So, you know, it's just very precarious. And so I was living in, you
- [39:52]
A
know, you're saying I'm nervous. Yeah, I'm nervous. We all should be. We're all nervous, but we all need to be nervous because the whole thing's been.
- [40:00]
B
No, I know. We've seen it collapse over time, you know, so it can come apart really bad. And for a lot of people, there was nothing even there to collapse. I just thought I would never even get to a point to have it for, you know, like, for a lot of people, you never even partake in the gate. You never get there. It's like that. Here's the money, and everybody's living outside of it. That's how I was living for a long time.
- [40:24]
A
How about now? The. Where's the joy in the money?
- [40:26]
B
Like, everywhere. Everywhere. I love it. It is so much better to have money than not. I can't even put into words. It's way better than I thought. Like, it's way better than I thought. Like, I would dream of, like, I'm gonna buy this. I'm gonna buy this. And now it's like, it's amazing. And, you know, and, And. And and helping family and being with family. I mean, it's hard to help some of my family. It's. It's so funny. Even if I bought my mother the greatest house that I was, she'd be like, but the bus stop is right here. Like, she won't. You know what I mean? It's like, but, but yeah. And a bunch of my siblings have worked hard and done well and they just feel 10 times better. They like, it is life changing because we're forced to live in this system where that is the case. And it's not like I have alternative system. Oh, you know, people go, well, Kami, I don't know. But this, this has, this has some problems. I'm not to say I don't know the other systems. Okay. I'm sure there's worse ones and I'm sure we haven't discovered better ones. You know, I'm just saying it's traumatizing. It could have been different. I don't know how I'm not. But I know we're not offering solutions. Oh, it had to be green paper. Like, no, there's a million other things that could have been, but. But the whole thing is traumatizing and very fickle.
- [41:58]
A
What does splurging look like for you? Because I can imagine that the accountant and the parent and you is still trying to be responsible about protecting those traumas.
- [42:07]
B
Splurging to me is like with my wife, like, I really value relationships, obviously. Splurging is like, if I travel alone, people, you know, I'm in the back of the plane, you know, minding my business. People go, you, Ravi. Off I go, yeah. You know, I was on the subway the other day to my show in New York. Town hall sold out. Somebody said, I'm going to see you. I said, me too. We're both going to the same place, you know, but when I'm with my wife, it's different. Will I do first class now? Unbelievable. First, it's. You're treated like hell in the back. They hate you. No, the flight attendants hate you. They're not being paid enough to care about you at all. They're barely being paid enough to care about them. They can't care about anything. They hate you. It's like disdain. Can I trouble you for some orange juice? You never see somebody nicer ordering than me. Could I trouble you? They go, you on ice? No, no, it's good. I try and get in, get out. They hate you. First class. What can I get you? Da, da, da. It is. It's literally. We live in apartheid states all the time. No, all the time. Like, the fact that we even on a plane call things class.
- [43:24]
A
Yes.
- [43:25]
B
It's. It's so dehumanizing and awful. But we're just. And one class is much better. They're doing. They're enjoying much more. It is way different. But I'll do that with my wife because that, to me, I am comfortable in the discomfort. And I'm like, I will get the flight. We'll get out, you know, but now we play the movie at the same time. It's very fun.
- [43:49]
A
Would Gabby agree that Robbie needs nothing from another human being?
- [43:52]
B
I think so. I need stuff from Gabby. Like, I need her love, and I love her and. But I don't ask much from other people, I don't think. And I. By the way, I could be wrong. She could be like, oh, she needed this. She needed this. She called down for this. I don't know. She could have a total different reason.
- [44:10]
A
Is there any place. Is there any place where you have a moment or a landmark of enlightenment where you're like, no, I don't need to change for anybody here.
- [44:20]
B
I think I need to be more me. I always think that's the goal, is to be incredibly me. And I love people who are very themselves, for better or worse, especially if they're interesting characters. I like somebody to lean into who they are, and that's part of being on stage. It's like, you know, over the years, you become more. I'm like, almost an exaggerated version of me on stage. I'm like, the most me. I'm like, in the sound booth on all the levers. We're going, Robbie Hoffman. I have no restrictions on stage. I go crazy. Okay. And it's really, really fun. And I feel like, yeah, I don't know. I. I feel like I got here, be, like, doing more me. I feel like I'm now, like, I used to have to sell people on me, and now I'm like, come along. Like, I used to have to be like, oh, you know, I know it's unusual that you're facing me now, and this is. I don't know. You don't know what you're going to do with this? I know that this is bizarre, but I know what to do with this. I'm actually getting good at what to do with this. I have ideas. And now it's to the point that everybody's like, let's see where she's going.
- [45:42]
A
That confidence can't have been there forever. Though, like, there has to be.
- [45:45]
B
It's still building. That's what I'm saying. It's like, it's.
- [45:47]
A
But when did it. When did it start to.
- [45:48]
B
I couldn't give you an overnight. It's like when somebody goes. You know, we heard about rich kids going, you know, going overseas to find themselves to explore. They did a backpacking trip through Europe. Right? I always heard about these types of kids who went to Europe with a backpack. No reason they couldn't have a wheelie. Okay. Bag. I don't know why they're with the backpack. It's had to be the backpack. Okay. And they went over there to find themselves. And I'm like, what is it? They get to Turkey. I was behind a shishtook stand. Like, I don't even understand that I was finding myself while being with myself, you know, just living where the hell I was and doing what the hell I was, you know, I think you're always with yourself, so I couldn't give you an overnight.
- [46:28]
A
But you understand it's unusual, correct? You understand it's unusual. Not that you can't give me an exact moment, but to have this kind of certainty, to have it rewarded, to be earlier than you're 40 years old and to just know who you are and be comfortable inside of who you are. Like, it's not. Not. People go their whole life without achieving.
- [46:47]
B
I know, but this is. But. But I think because they had so many other things, like cloud. I only really had this me. So that was the thing I liked because I was like, this is the only thing we have. We're gonna. You know, it's like when people. When comics yell at. Maybe they have a sparsely attended show. Couldn't be me, but. Kidding on the confidence. But let's say, you know, early on, we've had, you know, I've done thousands of shows. You know, 12 people there, God knows what. And some comics would YELL at those 12 people like, these are the bitches that came. I never yelled at my. I'm like, thank you for coming. These were the 12 that came. Yell at everybody else, but why are you hurting the one thing that's here? So that's how I feel with me, it's like, I'm the one that's here. Everything else wasn't there, but why am I gonna be mad at me?
- [47:32]
A
So you've learned self love. I don't know how you learned it.
- [47:35]
B
I'm the only one here. I'm the last thing to blame. I was like, I'm the One who showed up. Everybody else didn't like. Why would it? Yeah, I'm like, the one good thing. I'm like, oh, thank God she came. At least she's here.
- [47:52]
A
Why would I mistreat me? I'm a pain.
- [47:54]
B
Yeah. I'm the only one who was there. This episode is brought to you by State Farm. You know, those friends who support your preference for podcasts over music on road trips? That's the energy State Farm brings to insurance. With over 19,000 local agents, they help you find the coverage that fits your needs so you can spend less time worrying about insurance and more time enjoying the ride. Download the State Farm app or go online@statefarm.com like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.
- [48:24]
A
How does it come to be that John Mulaney is directing one of your specials?
- [48:28]
B
I'm so glad you asked. And I've been clarifying this wherever I go. He called me. Okay. This was one of those. When you want those moments of the tide shifting and things turning around. Mulaney tracked down my number and called me and begged me to direct the special. He had an overall deal or something with Netflix and he decided, like a saint just to throw his weight behind me. That is the kind of help that I. That's the kind of. Yeah. And he just said, like, he was a fan. He found out about me and. Yeah. And he just said, like, I'm gonna. And he did. He threw his weight behind me and I told him, you know, I was. He did every. All I had to do was a great hour of stand up comedy, which I knew I could do. And I was not gonna. I said, I'm gonna give you the greatest hour. You do what you do. You get into that office and whatever and shake whoever, and I will. All you have to do is turn the camera on. I'll be ready. And we tag teamed it and we got it the fuck done. Unbelievable.
- [49:47]
A
What was that phone call like? What do you remember about the detail?
- [49:51]
B
Well, initially it was a text. Hi, it's John Mulaney. Da, da. This is what I said. I can bring it up, actually. Bear with me.
- [49:58]
A
No, take your time. You're giving us the exclusive. You're giving us.
- [50:01]
B
I'm giving you really? The exclusive. Nobody has seen this. This is asked about a lot. So let me scroll up. We text a lot now, as you can imagine. I'm sure there's a way to go to the. To the top.
- [50:13]
A
Take your time. We have all the time. You're unspooling the exclusive. They're not going to cut anything.
- [50:18]
B
What an ending to this. Look at this exclusive.
- [50:21]
A
I feel like this is the longest name drop in the history of name dropping right here.
- [50:26]
B
We name drop each other. It's like I always told him. And he's going to like this because look what name is coming up. Hi, Robbie, this is John Mulaney. Dan Levy gave me your number. Right. Not that Dan Levy. We were talking about it earlier. There's another loser, Dan Levy, who we love. We love the loser Dan Levy, who's done nothing.
- [50:49]
A
We weren't talking about that.
- [50:51]
B
But not the Dan Levy you know. So he goes. Hi, Robby, this is John Mulaney. Dan Lavy. Hi, Robby. Start here. Hi, Robby, this is John Mulaney. Dan Levy gave me your number. I hope that's okay. Not that down, lady. I have been a big fan of your work for a while and really enjoyed you on wtf. I know you have various things going on, but if you'd ever want to talk about doing a special for Netflix, I make them and would be very excited to work with you on one. I think you're touring now, so maybe it's something you are eyeing. I'm around and happy to talk whenever. Okay. Happy Sunday. I go, which Dan Levy? Jk, I don't care either way. I mean, yes, of course. This has been my next dream move and you'd be terrific help in making this happen. From John Mulaney is Robbie Hoffman. My God. Hope this text is okay, as I really didn't know what to write back. As you can imagine, it's very shocking, horrifying, anxiety inducing, surreal and thrilling for someone like me to receive such a text like this from someone like you. But yes, would love to talk and work on a Netflix special with you. And then we got on the phone.
- [51:56]
A
That's beautiful.
- [51:57]
B
Just. I don't even have the temperament. I sat at the message for a full day, talks with my wife. Gat. What do I write back? Because. And then I just went with the truth, as usual. It's horrifying to respond to this message. Of course I'm in. I could have said it like that.
- [52:16]
A
Horror, though.
- [52:17]
B
Horror. Horrifying.
- [52:18]
A
I don't get that. That part, yes.
- [52:20]
B
If you start with it, it's very intimidating. It's John Mulaney. It's like, wow, we're really doing it. Like, it's really scary what I do, you know? Like people ask me about again, being nervous. It's like, yeah, I'm always scared. I'm always afraid I'm always anxious, but just because I'm afraid doesn't mean I don't get to do it. Like, that's kind of how since a kid, it's like I've always been afraid and I had to get on the bus. I've always been afraid. And it's like with the last bus or whatever I got on. I've always been afraid and had to do everything. Like, well, you know, I'm not gonna have money for this. I still have to do it. I've always been afraid and done it. And that's the same with stand up. Like, this is like doing a special. I was. I'm afraid. Of course. Wouldn't you be afraid? Everybody would be afraid. It's just. The difference is I've gotten very good at being afraid. And it's kind of like I love anyone who pursues something in particular for this reason. I love climbing and I love Alex Honnold.
- [53:30]
A
That's a whole different level of fear.
- [53:32]
B
But he has gotten. Of course he's afraid. He's not as afraid. Maybe because he's conditioned. He's gotten very good at being afraid. I'm good at being afraid, but I'm always afraid. I'm always nervous. People go, you nervous? Ask my team. They go, can we say hi to you before the show, before this? Are you out of your goddamn mind? Like, I'm like, it's always scary. But just because something's scary doesn't mean I don't do it.
- [53:58]
A
Do you take the next step on this and know you're courageous?
- [54:04]
B
I don't know. I guess so. But like, you know, those words are so intense and I feel like reserved for more heroism.
- [54:15]
A
Well, then just. I'm just talking about textbook definition. Courage is the ability to overcome fear. It's not to be fearless. It's like, it's the ability to overcome fear. What you just described. I'll tell you the story because you made me think of it now and I haven't thought about it for a while. So Adam McKay says to me, I came up in writing. And Adam McKay just says to me, I remember this so distinctly. You're bringing the memory back to me, hey, we should write something together. And I backed out of the room. I backed out of the room. I didn't. And I still haven't run back toward it. I just. Back. I just. I'm like, no, that's, that's, that's.
- [54:53]
B
No, it's too scary.
- [54:55]
A
Yeah, well, so when I'm. When you're saying It I'm like, oh, she's courageous. But do you identify as such?
- [55:02]
B
I think I do. I think I'm like, you know. Cause I also probably have fun being frayed now. You know, I push. I, you know, you get excitement. It's like somebody having like a pain kink or something. They like a wax on them or something to burn hot like, you know what I mean? Like they don't like it, but they like it. You know what I mean? There's something in that hot and cold space, but yeah, it's too scary. There's many things that are too. I won't jump out of planes. Way too scary. People won't do science. Way too scary. Like there's so many things like, so something like that when drama line. It's just too scary. It's just like a diver, like, okay, maybe they dive from three feet, they dive from five feet, 12ft. It's too scary. I'm not ready for. 12ft is too scary. I'm sorry, I. Six feet and that's it. I can't jump from 12ft. That's how I feel like when Mulaney. But I know I'm gonna do. I'm like, okay, it's terrifying and I'm in. But it's too scary. It is too scary. I don't have. I almost don't have the temperament for what I do. I'm afraid and anxious all the time, yet I do it. But that's been the case. Just like having to run and catch the last bus in the pitch of the night after a shift.
- [56:11]
A
You can't even imagine.
- [56:12]
B
I gotta get home.
- [56:14]
A
Right? You can't. You can't imagine living an anxiety free life. There would be no.
- [56:20]
B
I now run towards it. Like, look at me. Like, I do a very scary thing. It's still very scary. And a lot of people are so afraid. They project their fear onto you. You know, when you go home in the beginning, you're talking about that time. And it's interesting because nobody has really asked me about that time. While it's like, you know what I mean? Unfurling and what. And being, you know, having to pursue for so long without any real payoff. You go home sometimes you go to old friends or people that you knew and they go. They always put like a thing on you, like, oh, so when's this gonna happen? Or, you know, or like, what's gonna be your break? Or, you know, or oh, how was that show? It wasn't that many people there or something like that. Like, because they're. They don't do anything with their lives. They're too afraid. They're afraid to change, even any. People are afraid to ask for a promotion. People afraid every step of the way. And I've been building on that. And so you have to. They do it to kind of make you think, like to bring you. Make you feel a little crappy about. Shitty about your circle. I'm like, I don't know if that. Yeah, that didn't work out so well, but I Still doing it. I'm still. I'm still gonna try. It's so embarrassing what I do. It's like, I. Like for so long, you're just. You're embarrassed and afraid of being embarrassed, you know, and you're doing shows for no one. And that didn't work or that worked. Or like, you know, even 12 people who really liked my stuff. And I. I would like that, like, early on, well, there's a, you know, a bunch of empty seats or whatever, and people be like, oh, you know, sorry, I couldn't go. Whatever. It's like, it's always embarrassing, like, doing this weird thing, and it's always terrifying to be embarrassed, but I do it. And these people can't even. You know, they haven't worked that muscle at all to the point that they look back at their lives and what have they done?
- [58:14]
A
Happens all the time. People are so afraid to change that they don't get out of unhappy because they prefer the comfort of, well, the happy. The unhappy is the known. But you're.
- [58:23]
B
And by the way, some people love doing, like, it's not like I don't say, what have they done with their lives? In a sense. Like, I know many people happy in their careers and stuff like that and whatever they have done with their eyes, but people who have unrequited ambitions in any way, shape or form, it's very difficult now for most people, fear is warranted. If you're poor, you can't just. You might. Other systems have made it. So it is. You are punished for asking for more and doing more. So there's a lot of nuances. I'm just talking in particular the people who maybe have cushy. I had friends who went into finance, obviously, and what are you doing? And kind of judging me. I'm talking about that particular subset, not people who have to work. And we've been beaten down to the point that we do have to work.
- [59:16]
A
It's not bravado when you say to John Mulaney, right, you're scared you're terrified, but you're saying, and you're not gonna have to worry about that hour because that hour's gonna kill. Yeah, I mean, you know that, like,
- [59:27]
B
he shows up for me, I am there for you. I will not. You know, I grew up without a father. I'm always looking for people to be proud of me. And, and I want to make him proud. Like, I don't want him to think he put his weight behind something like, I'm going to show up. It's like, I'm saying, like, when I had those, when I was working 35 hours at the cafe at Java U, I, I would, and then I would have to ask the school for extra 250amonth. $250 a month, you know, part of my subsidy, whatever. But I would say, look, I'm doing this 35 hours. Like I'm, I'm not, I'm not like, just like, sure, I'm not like, like just freeloading. Like, I'm contributing to the maximum I could contribute. I'm doing 35 hours part time work a week, which is almost full time. And, and, and I'm asking for you for 5%. So if, if John gives me even 10%, I'm gonna give 150. Like, I'm like, and he gave 100. I am, you know, I, I just, I show up,
- [60:31]
A
you say you don't have a relationship with your father. Do you have any kind of relationship with the idea of father? Like, do you know how it is you've been imprinted by all of that? Like, you just mentioned an example. Do you feel like you've got a good governance over knowing how it's shaped you to not have a father?
- [60:49]
B
Yeah, I feel I'm half of my father and I knew my father. We don't have a relationship now, but he was very funny, very charismatic. He got sick and all this stuff. But. I've always felt a connection with him and I have a relationship with him in ways that I can. It's not ideal. I drive an old Porsche. People are shocked when they see my car I bought. I have a 2001. I got it for $10,000 because I traded my old car for $18,000. That car I got, I was traded for 13,000 to 6,000. You could see all the progression on my cars. And I've been working up to this car. This is my grail car. And I love the car because my father always liked Porsche. Something I know about him, he at one point was able to get One for, I don't know, some amount of time. He bought one like used for like $10,000. Also he wasn't paying child support. He was trying to get my mother back and took a picture of himself in this Porsche and sent it to us. I don't know how long the Porsche lasted. He was living in a thirteen hundred dollar apartment. So, you know, and then he sold the Porsche. But he did, pretty much, it seemed like he did everything to get this picture and like look at me, you know, we were like with cockroaches and everything, like, what the fuck's he doing? But the car stuck with me and he always liked the car, you know. And I feel like I have a relationship with him in the ways that I enjoy the things that he enjoys and we can enjoy them together. Every time I get in the car and I look in the rear view, I see his eyes in my eyes and I feel like again, it's not an ideal relationship, but it's not non existent. He is half of me. He's in me. So I do have a relationship with him in the ways that I am like him or I like what he likes. And it is something to me. It's not nothing. Again, it's almost nothing. And it's not ideal, but it isn't nothing. And so yeah, I think about that stuff all the time.
- [62:58]
A
What have you learned about writing for kids?
- [63:02]
B
That they're people. And I had a feeling about it too. I always felt as a child like a person. And yes, you don't write sexual innuendo or swearing, but I wrote, I committed to good stories. Good. I feel like even with my stand up or my, my TV show that's coming out like nothing is. There's no pyrotechnics, there's, there's no gimmicks. I'm just doing good. It's almost like there's nothing good. Story is good, story good. Stand up is good. Like I'm not doing anything crazy. People say I'm like refreshing. I feel like I'm just doing good work, nothing crazy, nothing. So I don't know why that's refreshing. Maybe it's like podcasts are refreshing because all the talk shows, the legacy media talk shows that we have of all our talk show hosts read off a prompter and you would think that a talk show host would just know how to talk. It shouldn't be refreshing that a talk show host talks, but it is. That's where we're at. So I don't do anything. I have no, you know, no effects. I have nothing but just trying to do good, consistently good stuff. But it's very, I guess, hard to do good. People get clouded. But I just focus on good. I don't do anything else.
- [64:27]
A
You come to meet Ted Sarando's how.
- [64:30]
B
Oh, brutal. I mean, I have to go meet him again. He's so scary.
- [64:35]
A
Again with scary.
- [64:36]
B
It's scary. He owns. He's a bill. I don't. I don't. I'm not like. I don't know what to say. The billionaires and the whole thing of it, it's just. It's too much. I have no. I can't. I just. I don't even know where to start. Right. I did Malaney's talk show and Mulaney knows how to talk. Everybody. And he did it live. It's the show. How much he knows how to talk. He did Everybody's Live with John Mulaney. I actually thought it was a great show.
- [65:06]
A
It is a great show.
- [65:07]
B
And happened to be a guest on the show. And I think a great guest in the end. And I'm talking again. Objectively not. I don't think my special is good because it's mine. I think it's good because it's good. I feel like I can have an objective enough. I feel like I'm not. I don't want to lie to people.
- [65:24]
A
You are objectively good.
- [65:27]
B
Yeah. I don't want to lie to people because I would never want someone to buy. I'm not here to lie to you. I really think it's good. Cuz it's good. If not, I wouldn't even say anything about it. Believe me. Believe me.
- [65:37]
A
But it's not subjectively good. It's not a matter of opinion. It's a fact.
- [65:41]
B
I think it's objectively good. Just like I've done plays I got. You don't want to see that play. I've been in plays where I go, it's not good. I'm in the play. So believe me. But yeah, they had all this free food in the back at Mulaney's thing, you know, at the Netflix, everybody's live and I was picking at the food. I like to graze a table. I was grabbing this, I was grabbing that. And I was kind of in my own world enjoying all the free food of starving after. And yeah, a guy was like, oh, yeah, hi. And I'm Ted. And I was like, ted, what? And he said, serranos, right?
- [66:19]
A
I think sarandos.
- [66:21]
B
Sarandos.
- [66:21]
A
I think I Might have it wrong. I don't know. You should know it better than I. I blocked.
- [66:25]
B
I. I blanked immediately. Because as soon as he said. I said, no, no, you can't just. If your name is set Ted Sarandos, you. You can't just be telling people. I'm like, ted is the bear. You know what I mean? It's like, it's a. Can't be you. And it was just. I was like, you're way too scary a person to talk to for me now. But, you know, of course he was. When you meet these people too, it's like, okay, of course he's nice or whatever, but I. I don't know what to say. It's too. I'm too. I'm too nervous. I don't know. It's too scary. Of course he was lovely and whatever, and he. I guess he makes the show. I don't know.
- [67:02]
A
I don't know what to make.
- [67:03]
B
Son is a fan. I go, hello to the sun. I mean, I'm just trying to get a plate. I'm just trying to get some snacks here. I wasn't ready for this interaction of this level or whatever it is.
- [67:16]
A
Your base level. Anxiety and nerves don't sort of fit. I have a hard time. They don't fit with your amount of self confidence and self awareness.
- [67:26]
B
I'm simultaneously both, always at the same time. Like, literally. I literally am simultaneously nervous and incredibly confident. I don't know. That is what's happened. That's what the storm has yielded.
- [67:40]
A
I mean, it sounds like childhood trauma has birthed this as a reward.
- [67:43]
B
That's what it is. There are two sides of the same coin. Absolutely.
- [67:48]
A
But your funny doesn't come from pain. Right?
- [67:52]
B
Of course. It comes from everything. And it's also a gift. It's everything
- [67:59]
A
because you're funny. It sounds like you're funny was sort of environmental and then you started if you don't talk about it.
- [68:03]
B
But also genetically, my parents are extremely funny. They're both very poor but brilliant, eccentric people. And truly, like, I think they're like, you know, they're like patient ones for autism or whatever.
- [68:21]
A
If you had to rank in your house so we would be talking. So it's nine siblings. It's ten plus the parents. Where are you numerically?
- [68:30]
B
On the funniest.
- [68:31]
A
No, funniest. Not the funniest.
- [68:33]
B
I don't know. Everybody's funny and they're funny in the group and there's different things that are funny and we're laughing at people. They're Laughing at us. We're laughing at my mother. We're laughing at.
- [68:43]
A
But you've said you're not the funniest in your own house. So I want to know how.
- [68:45]
B
I mean, I think my brother Shmuley and Schneer makes me laugh. My little sister Yehudis, just unbelievable funny. I consider her like a Jewish Snooki. My sister Chaya, my older sister Chaya is extremely funny. I mean, people are really funny in my family. I don't know. I come from funny people. We had nothing but that. It was free. Anything free we fucking had.
- [69:10]
A
How did you fix the relationship with your brothers?
- [69:13]
B
Oh, we just grew up there. Wasn't fixing. It was like, oh, we lived in hell. Was a dump. It was a shithole. What do you want from me? That was it.
- [69:21]
A
Well, you just said you hated them.
- [69:22]
B
Of course I hated them. I was a teenage girl who hated her brothers. I mean, I feel like it's like mandatory. Mandatory.
- [69:31]
A
Also mandatory. Hacks and rooster on hbo. Robbie Hoffman. Wake up is a muskwalk.
- [69:37]
B
What an interview with this guy.
- [69:38]
A
Too far with Robbie Hoffman.
- [69:40]
B
Patreon Only the too far.
- [69:43]
A
Thank you, Robbie. A delight to see all of your success and a delight to talk to you.
- [69:47]
B
Thank you so much. Robbie Hoffman on Instagram. What an interview. Thank you for having me.
- [69:52]
A
What an interview, right? What about her?
- [69:56]
B
Oh, wow.
- [69:56]
A
A hug. Our first closing hug. We've never had a closing hug.
- [70:01]
B
He smells good.
- [70:02]
A
Yes.
- [70:03]
B
Tell the viewers that.
- [70:04]
A
Thank you. Tell all the viewers.
- [70:06]
B
Tell the world.
- [70:07]
A
He smells good.
- [70:13]
B
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