South Beach Sessions - Tig Notaro

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz – South Beach Sessions with Tig Notaro

Date: March 5, 2026
Location: The Elser Hotel, Downtown Miami
Guest: Tig Notaro (comedian, actor, producer, and director)
Host: Dan Le Batard

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Episode Overview

In this heartfelt and incisive conversation, Dan Le Batard sits down with Tig Notaro for an in-depth "South Beach Session." The episode weaves through Tig's creative life, her unconventional upbringing in Mississippi and Texas, her navigation through immense personal hardship (illness, loss, and career challenges), and the resulting transformations in her art, relationships, and outlook on life. Tig shares candid reflections on her celebrated comedy, her resistance to Hollywood superficiality, her experiences with love and parenthood, and her latest project—a documentary about her late friend, poet Andrea Gibson—which garnered critical acclaim.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Creative Identity & Directing vs. Producing

• Rejecting Directing: Tig shares why she no longer wants to direct, finding the role overwhelming with its minutiae and constant demands.
  • “If you're directing a movie, everybody is coming to you to ask the big and the small questions...I wish I cared.” (01:50)
• Preference for Producing and Standup: She prefers producing and creative collaboration, relishing the freedom of standup and podcasting.
  • “Standup is like breathing, and I really do enjoy podcasting.” (01:31)
  • "I liked being on set, giving notes, getting a good performance...but just Stephanie down to like, the clothing of each person. Whereas I'm like, is everyone's...Are your private parts covered? Let's move on." (02:56)

2. Roots of Creativity & Unconventional Upbringing

• Influence of Her Mother: Tig credits her wild, artistic, and uninhibited mother as a foundational influence.
  • “She was wild. She was an artist...She used to tell me to tell everyone to go to hell that had a problem with me.” (07:23)
• Mississippi Childhood Stories:
  • “My mother would set up me and my brother in high chairs, and she would feed us all three meals at one time and then hose us down in our diapers and then let us just run around and dry off.” (10:42)

3. Instilling Confidence & Resilience

• Go-To-Hell Attitude: Tig discusses the confidence instilled by her mother, which helped her maintain individuality and tough-mindedness in adversity.
  • “The go to hell vibe steadies me and gives me a certain comfort and confidence in myself.” (11:29)
• Vulnerability and Humor: After her double mastectomy, she did a standup set topless, turning trauma into empowerment and comedy.
  • “I was so excited to reveal that...the scars were just evidence that my body healed.” (12:58)
  • “I just unbutton my shirt and take it off, hang it on the mic stand, and then talk about...airline material...and the audience...they went from shocked to, it was like I had a shirt on.” (14:00, 14:00–16:57)

4. The Pioneering “Cancer Set” (Largo Performance)

• Describing the Onstage Confession: Tig’s legendary performance where she announced her cancer diagnosis in a matter-of-fact tone reshaped popular notions of comedy’s emotional boundaries.
  • “I knew I wanted to talk about all of the...pneumonia and cancer and...C. Diff...my mother tripped and hit her head and died and I went through a breakup...I really don't know how I can go on stage and talk about going to the grocery store without acknowledging the hell I was going through.” (19:38)
  • "I had this like thought that I could go on stage saying, hello, good evening, how's everyone doing I have cancer.” (19:38–21:41)
• Outcome and Vulnerability in Comedy:
  • “That album sold like crazy. Because you decided bravely to share your vulnerability with everybody.” – Dan (21:41)
  • “It made me feel empowered when I felt nothing else could possibly be yanked out from underneath me.” (24:16)
  • Notably, Tig says she doesn't listen back because it feels “unpolished”—demonstrating her perfectionism and humility. (25:11)

5. Alternative Path to Success & Imposter Syndrome

• Unconventional Route: Dropping out of high school, drifting with friends, surviving odd jobs, and stumbling into standup only upon following friends to LA.
  • “I failed eighth grade twice and then...ninth. I dropped out...I was essentially almost or exactly the age of when you graduate. So I left school...But I met [my friends] in elementary, junior high school age.” (32:13)
• On Quitting and Perseverance:
  • “It was a massive light bulb moment where I was like, I'm gonna head out. And I got up out of my seat...I quit. I'm done.” (35:27–35:50)
• Imposter Syndrome in Acting: Though acting for 20 years, Tig resists calling herself an “actor,” feeling she lacks the classical credentials and afraid to offend “real” actors.
  • “I'd be on an interview and right underneath me be like, actor Tig Notaro. And I'd be like, oh, gosh, I'm so sorry to the other actors. Like, I...did not ask that to be underneath me.” (39:32)

6. Relationship, Love, and Personal Transformation

• Growth and Commitment:
  • “I've dated so much over the years. Never did I ever think I would be married at all...And then I met Stephanie. And yes, I'm in a committed long term relationship. We've been together 13 years.” (40:22)
• Learning to Love After Loss: Major health crises and losses fundamentally changed Tig’s capacity to love and appreciate 'the now.'
  • “I really don't know who I was before 2012...I was luckily pulled back...It's genuinely humbling to be that ill and to be that sad...I want to do good in the world. I want to be around good.” (45:14)

7. Parenting, Gratitude, and Maintaining Focus

• Parenthood and Purpose:
  • “All I think about is my kids, my wife...it's my number one.” (60:52)
• On Living Well and Avoiding Materialism: Tig emphasizes gratitude, resisting Hollywood’s superficial pulls, and wanting to be present for her family and creative community.
  • “It's not that I want more and bigger, it's that I want to maintain what I have and I want to appreciate it.” (53:08)
  • “I know I won't ever be...too shiny enough for me to lose touch with what I'm tethered to.” (51:48)

8. The Documentary “Come See Me in the Good Light”

• Art Created from Love, Not Ambition: Tig recounts producing the acclaimed documentary about Andrea Gibson as a labor of love, where the crew became a genuine family.
  • “That experience was solely driven by love and passion...And it was so inspiring to be a part of it and to come out of that. That's what I want more of. I want way more of what I experience.” (53:45)
• On Art and Loss: The film is framed as a lesson not about dying, but how to live—impacting viewers with renewed urgency for authentic living.
  • “But it's a movie about how to live, not about how to die. And it is so surprisingly funny. And people leave the screenings or viewing feeling this urgency of, what have I been doing with my life?...I gotta go live my life.” (58:22)
  • “Making this documentary was the only thing that has come anywhere close to finding Stephanie and having our children. That. I can't believe I nailed that.” (56:32)

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Memorable Quotes & Segments

| Timestamp | Quote | Speaker | |-----------|-------|---------| | 01:31 | “Standup is like breathing, and I really do enjoy podcasting.” | Tig Notaro | | 07:23 | “My mother would set up me and my brother in high chairs, and she would feed us all three meals at one time and then hose us down in our diapers and then let us just run around and dry off.” | Tig Notaro | | 11:29 | “The go to hell vibe steadies me and gives me a certain comfort and confidence in myself.” | Tig Notaro | | 12:58 | “After having had cancer, I did an HBO special where half of it I did with my shirt off. And...I was so excited to reveal that.” | Tig Notaro | | 19:38 | “I knew I wanted to talk about all of the...pneumonia and cancer and...C. Diff...my mother tripped and hit her head and died and I went through a breakup...I really don't know how I can go on stage and talk about going to the grocery store without acknowledging the hell I was going through.” | Tig Notaro | | 24:16 | “It made me feel empowered when I felt nothing else could possibly be yanked out from underneath me.” | Tig Notaro | | 35:27 | “It was a massive light bulb moment where I was like, I'm gonna head out. And I got up out of my seat...I quit. I'm done.” | Tig Notaro | | 53:08 | “It's not that I want more and bigger, it's that I want to maintain what I have and I want to appreciate it. And that means my marriage, my connection with my children, my work, my health. That's really, really top for me.” | Tig Notaro | | 58:22 | “But it's a movie about how to live, not about how to die. And it is so surprisingly funny. And people leave the screenings or viewing feeling this urgency of, what have I been doing with my life?...I gotta go live my life.” | Tig Notaro | | 64:41 | “The best gift you can give anybody is a well lived life of your own.” | Tig Notaro |

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Notable Segments & Timestamps

• Rejecting Directing/Preferring Other Roles: 01:31–04:10
• Mother’s Wild Influence & “Go to Hell” Attitude: 07:00–13:45
• Topless Standup, Owning Vulnerability and Body Image: 12:58–17:55
• The Iconic “I Have Cancer” Set: 19:38–24:16
• Imposter Syndrome and Acting: 37:54–41:00
• Transformation After 2012 & Embracing Love: 45:14–51:48
• Life After Loss, Parenting, and Avoiding Hollywood Traps: 53:08–58:22
• Creating the Documentary & Lessons on Living: 53:45–59:59
• Philosophy on Life, Death & Well-Lived Life Quote: 60:52–65:43

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Episode Tone & Style

The conversation is intimate, thoughtful, and gently comedic—marked by Tig’s signature deadpan delivery and self-effacing wit. Tig brings humor even to subjects as heavy as illness and mortality, never minimizing their gravity but using comedy as a tool for authenticity and connection.

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For Listeners: Why This Episode Matters

This episode is a case study in personal and artistic resilience. It’s valuable for anyone interested in:

• The craft and heart behind pioneering comedy
• Turning personal trauma into art and connection
• Balancing creative drive and grounded priorities
• Navigating family, loss, and love as engines of growth

Tig Notaro’s story is a compelling reminder that true creative fulfillment comes not from chasing the "shiny things," but from living authentically, loving deeply, and aligning your art with real life.

Transcript

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[Interviewer]

I'm very excited to do this. It seems to me like you're in full blossom, so I'm gonna introduce you to the audience and tell you tignation.com is where you get tickets, tour dates. Saw her in Fort Lauderdale. It was a lovely show. She's back in stand up comedy. It's nice to see you there again. Actor, comedian, best selling author, producer, director. Which of those do you like best? Which like the sound of best not doing podcasting. Oh, wow, Handsome. Okay, so it's the intimacy of podcasting or you're just trying to throw me

[Tig Notaro]

off balance at the top? Yeah, well, I'm not interested in directing anymore. I really enjoy producing. Standup is like breathing, and I really do enjoy podcasting.

[Interviewer]

But why are you not gonna do directing anymore? Cause all the problems come to you.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, I mean, I've directed a bunch of comedy specials which enjoyed whether it was my own or other comedians. But my wife and I, we co directed a movie called Am I okay? Dakota Johnson and Senoya Mizuno starred in it. And as soon as we got started working on this together, it was so clear. My wife is a director and I'm not because anybody. Yeah. If you're directing a movie, everybody is coming to you to ask the big and the small questions. So it's not just like, where do you want the camera set up? It's also like, hey, Tig, do you want a silver pen or a purple pen on the desk? And I would be just like, I wish I cared. Whereas Stephanie would be like, oh, my gosh, it has to be silver because the character. And then there's a whole story behind it.

[Interviewer]

So you didn't like being in charge?

[Tig Notaro]

I'm not crazy about being in charge. It's like even collaborating with people. It's like, I like doing things together, but I just wasn't into. I liked being on set, giving notes, getting a good performance, which I think we really got, but just Stephanie down to like, the clothing of each person. Whereas I'm like, is everyone's. Are your private parts covered? Let's move on. You know.

[Interviewer]

Right. I would imagine doing that with someone you love, collaborating on something she cares about that much, Accentuating your differences has its challenges. I don't know if that goes into you saying, I will never do it again. Will she do it again?

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, yeah. She's very much a director, and we don't have challenges as far as working together and being creative, it was more so I was like, oh, my gosh, this is really not my thing. Cause directing a comedy special is so different than directing a feature film with a huge movie star. It's just a different world.

[Interviewer]

But a comedy special, that's all yours. Right? Like the gleam in your eye. You said the podcast, and I imagine it's because it allows you to exercise some of the same things that standup allows you to exercise. It's a freer form of working on your craft and how to cut things up and be funny. But standup was the one that got the gleam in your eye.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. I mean, and also, I've directed other people's standup specials, but a lot of directing is camera placement for standup specials. Camera placement. And then largely when you're in the editing bay, and that's fun to me, is finding the right camera angles and where to cut off and move on from each moment.

[Interviewer]

Where does your creativity come from?

[Tig Notaro]

I don't know. I feel like I have to be submerged in real life and in touch with so many different experiences. Otherwise, I don't know. I mean, you see a lot of people. I don't know if this is exactly what you're asking, but I think you see a lot of people that get a certain amount of success, and then they're not having a terribly normal. I mean, it's hard to have a normal life when you're a massive, massive star. But I just. I feel like real life interactions spark so much.

[Interviewer]

So you were talking about the now. I was asking you more for the roots of it. Like, it would make sense that you would answer it now. You really. When I introduce you as blossoming right now, you must feel it creatively. No. Like, in terms of the amount of different projects that you're spreading that creativity.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. I mean, I feel like I've gone through different points in my career where I felt like a lot was going on or I had a lot of ideas that excited me, and other times where it's like, okay, I need to kind of pull back and see What I'm really feeling, because you can get into these. Into these modes of, like, this is what I do, and then I write new material, and then I go on tour, and then. And it's like, there was a beat after my last special that Stephanie directed and was nominated for an Emmy where I felt like, I think I need to take a beat away from touring. And so I took, like, two and a half years off, and I wanted to return with a genuine, authentic excitement about being back.

[Interviewer]

Do you go back into the past and take me to the roots of where the creativity starts, like you dreamt of being in music?

[Tig Notaro]

I think that as far as where the creativity comes from, in my past, I mean, I was raised by the ultimate artistic mother. I mean, she was very comedic. She was.

[Interviewer]

But what are you laughing at there? You're laughing at something.

[Tig Notaro]

Well, I'm just like, my mother was. She was wild. She was an artist. She was a painter. She was the back of our house as her canvas. And she was very funny. She was a prankster. She was all of these things. She was wild. And it gave me a very different perspective. And she used to tell me to tell everyone to go to hell. That had a problem with me. And I think that deep just instilled message allowed me to be who I wanted to be and explore what I wanted to explore. Because she was an artist. But, yeah, we were different in that she was a little. Way more energy than I had. But I think I was kind of a reaction to her.

[Interviewer]

She would be embarrassed by your deadpan. She's more theatrical.

[Tig Notaro]

She was more theatrical. And I was a little like, oh, boy. But her sensibility has stuck with me. But, yeah, I think it all kind of came from there. And it's funny. I'm from Mississippi, and people are always like, what is going on in the South? What's going on in Mississippi? Everybody's got some crazy story to tell. Where does that come from? I'm like, I honestly don't know. I encourage you just to head down there, and I promise you will have a story when you return.

[Interviewer]

Well, what was it like? So you're nine years old. What's the house? What's happening in the house? You were saying, she's painting donkeys on the back of the house.

[Tig Notaro]

Well, we lived in Mississippi and then Texas and then a couple of years in New Jersey. But what was it like in the house?

[Interviewer]

Yeah, what was it like growing up as you when you're nine?

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, my gosh. This would turn into a therapy session. My mother was also a bit of a partier. And so it was. It was not. It just. It was kind of a fend for yourself in ways. It was a. My mother's really wild, so it gives me no real gauge of what is a normal life or, like, what a normal mother might. I remember her saying, sweetie, do you wish, like, I had cookies made for you when you got home? And I was like, I don't care. And, you know. But, I mean, there was. There was some structure, like we'd have a bedtime and.

[Interviewer]

Well, okay, let me be more specific to help you out here. Okay. Because I wanted you to paint in the color for me. But the detail that I read was that she'd be so immersed in her work and what it was to be a wild child that it's three meals at one time, and if you're in diapers, everyone's just getting hosed down.

[Tig Notaro]

Yes, well, there's that,

[Interviewer]

but I didn't want to do that. I thought that there might be color around that that would frame how it is you've become, who you've become.

[Tig Notaro]

It's so much a part of who and where I came from that I sometimes forget to tell that story. But, yeah, my mother would set up me and my brother in high chairs, and she would feed us all three meals at one time and then hose us down in our diapers and then let us just run around and dry off. Did you not get raised that way, sir?

[Interviewer]

Oh, but you. But having the go to hell in you at nine years old, I mean, I don't know. I don't know that a parent could instill. I mean, maybe there are other things that a parent can instill stronger than belief in yourself. But if you have the strength. You've been telling everybody to go to hell since.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, well, I mean, I'm not really. I don't actually tell people to go to hell. That's not my personality. But I think that the go to hell vibe steadies me and gives me a certain comfort and confidence in myself. I'm certainly not a perfectly confident person. I have my own little glitches that Stephanie and I were actually talking about in the past couple of days that sometimes I get deeply insecure around when there's certain power dynamics where I don't. I'm not quite sure how to navigate. But that's for my therapy. We decided.

[Interviewer]

Oh, and your relationship. I don't know that there's a lot better inside of love than being able to share those things with somebody two days ago. When you've been in a relationship for as long as you have and you're still learning about each other, that's pretty cool.

[Tig Notaro]

And about myself, I mean.

[Interviewer]

Well, they're mirrors, right? The people we love end up being mirrors for. Because it's a safe place for you to put that. You don't want everybody to see that. That's your most treasured, dangerous stuff, right?

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, for sure.

[Interviewer]

And so that's it. Your relationship is lovely. And when I say you've got a lot of go to hell in you, it's in your work. Right. You're not telling anybody to go to hell, but you're being yourself, no matter the cost.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, yeah. I guess that's what I meant is like, you know, the example of after having had cancer, I did an HBO special where half of it I did with my shirt off. And it was just my double mastectomy scars. And I was so excited to reveal that once I came to terms with what my body looked like and realized why would I be ashamed of my body when the scars were just evidence that was just evidence that my body healed. And so I was so excited to go out on stage, talk about ridiculous things and not acknowledge that I took my shirt off. And that is kind of a go to hell if you.

[Interviewer]

Well, you moved my wife with that. As in as I imagine you've moved many people with that. Can you take me through the decision making process, all of that? Because it's not like it's something it was brave, but it's not like something you've seen a lot of people do before.

[Tig Notaro]

No, I hadn't seen anything. It came from a very natural place and I didn't know if I was actually going to do it. But. When my surgery was lined up to have a double mastectomy, I became aware of my body in a way that I hadn't been before. And I started to realize, like, oh, I like my body. I don't necessarily want it to change. And so I was really upset that I was going to have this surgery and have these scars. And then when I came out of surgery and I was going home, I was with the actress and my dear friend Lake Bell. And I told her, I said, oh, my gosh, I keep having these visions and thoughts of taking my shirt off on stage and it makes me giddy. And she was like, oh, Tiggy, you gotta do it. She was like, that is the best idea. As time went on and I kept thinking about it, I thought, well, I already had my surgery months ago because it took me a while to kind of get back into life after I was sick. And then once I was on stage, which was months after my surgery, even though I thought the window had closed, I realized it's always there. And I tried it out at a couple of venues. I tried it out at Largo in Los Angeles, and then I tried it out at. I think it's called Town hall in New York City. And once I tried it a couple of times, I just thought, this is so exhilarating because the people in the audience were stunned. But then. And I don't acknowledge it. I just unbutton my shirt and take it off, hang it on the mic stand, and then talk about Bert Kreischer before her time. Yeah, truly, I did this before Bert. And so I thought, I am making a statement, but I'm also a comedian, so I want it to be funny. And so the funny part to me was what I was talking about while my shirt was off, which is what the comedy community considers hacky bad material, which is airline material. And I was talking about just stupid, like, what if you're on a flight? And I don't even remember what I was talking about. And I just thought it would be a really fun juxtaposition to do something that bold while I was doing something so not respected. And the audience, they went from shocked to, it was like I had a shirt on. They didn't even notice or care anymore. Like, I just did the rest of my show, never talking about my shirt being off.

[Interviewer]

I have a number of questions about this, but where was the recall on the greatest of the exhilarations here? Is it coming on stage, off stage? Like, is it one particular moment, the first one versus the last one?

[Tig Notaro]

Well, I didn't go on stage with my shirt off. I did that halfway through. So for the first half hour, I'm just dressed like a normal comedian and I guess a gay comedian. And then I take my shirt off. And I think the exciting part was when it merges with my shirt is off. The crowd's going nuts. And then I go into my airline material, and I was like, oh, this feels so good. It felt so good because you could feel the audience, they got it because to take my shirt off and hang it on the thing and then be like, I was on this flight, and, you know, and then just. It was such a rush.

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[Interviewer]

Do you have anything else that compares to exactly that? And obviously laughter is laughter, but kill and killing is killing. But do you have anything in the realm of that kind of exhilaration that you've had inside of a performance before?

[Tig Notaro]

You know, when I before that, before my surgery, I had done a show at Largo where I announced that I had cancer on stage. And it wasn't the same kind of exhilaration, but it was like a oh my gosh, this is working. This is happening. Because I knew I wanted to talk about all of the, you know, I had pneumonia and cancer and this intestinal disease called C. Diff that's very deadly and my mother tripped and hit her head and died and I went through a breakup and that was all in a four month period of time. And I just thought, I really don't know how I can go on stage and talk about going to the grocery store without acknowledging the hell I was going through. And I had never done anything like that. And I just, I pictured myself sitting down on the stool and I just didn't know how to get into it. But when I was showering before the show, I had this like thought that I could go on stage saying, hello, good evening, how's everyone doing I have cancer. And delivering it in the way that you do when you say, hey, how's it going? Are there any birthdays tonight? Anyone new to town or, you know, just trying to deliver it with just a light heartedness. And when the audience came with me on that, and there's this moment in the album because it's an actual album, this man was like, this is fucking incredible. And the crowd was like. And I was like, whoa, this is so beyond what I thought this show was gonna be. I thought it was gonna be a somber, awkward thing and I'd disappear in the night and die.

[Interviewer]

That album sold like crazy. Because you decided bravely to share your vulnerability with everybody.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, I didn't see in the moment like that that it would ever be a popular thing to listen to. And I did not imagine. I just, I had. I wasn't. It's one of those weird things where you just have no way of knowing what just happened is going to become what it becomes. And everybody was like tweeting about the people that were in the audience and other comedians on the show. People were tweeting and blogging. And when I woke up the next day, it had gone viral. And I was confused because I didn't really know viral wasn't as big as it is now. So I didn't really know what went viral. I did a show and then I went home and went to sleep. Like, what went viral? There's no audio of it and it was just the idea of it that went viral. And so, Yes. I don't remember what your question was.

[Interviewer]

You took us there. The vulnerability of sharing it with the audience. Right. And that the album ends up doing well because you're connecting in a very human way. Yes, it's funny, but you're also doing something that, you know, I think it's fair to say is pioneering. There aren't a lot of people who get to change the form of comedy. Right. And there aren't a whole lot of people going out there and giving their cancer diagnosis as a way to be funny and connecting with an audience. Everyone is affected in some way by cancer. Right. And so you're connecting there with just your public frailty.

[Tig Notaro]

Well, the cancer, there's illness. There's also the loss of my mother, there's the loss of a love relationship. All sorts of things were going on. And I mean, people like Richard Pryor certainly had those kind of confessional sets that they did. And I think that people are doing it more now. Mine was not. I wasn't like it ended up being an album that got released, but it wasn't intended to be at all. I didn't go on stage intending to release it as an album.

[Interviewer]

Was all of that in any way medicine? Because you used the phrase, I think, come back to life, that you were probably walking around haunted because of the assortment of things that you were grieving.

[Tig Notaro]

It made me feel empowered when I felt nothing else could possibly be yanked out from underneath me. I didn't have any. I thought I was cursed and I don't believe in that kind of thing. I was very scared and vulnerable. I didn't have a girlfriend, I didn't have a mother to call. I didn't have my health. I didn't know if I going to be able to make money. I didn't know if I was dying. I certainly had amazing friends around me. My brother, my aunt and cousin. People were very supportive and strangers. But it was definitely empowering at a rock bottom moment.

[Interviewer]

Have you listened to it since or recently?

[Tig Notaro]

No. Sometimes when I do interviews, they'll lead in to a segment of a show with an audio clip and I have to take my headphones off. People think, oh, I'm sorry. I'm sure that's hard for you to hear because it brings back bad memories. But it's not even that. It's that because I didn't intend for the world to hear it. It's so not worked out material.

[Interviewer]

It's not your polished material.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, it was like an open mic.

[Interviewer]

So it's not the frail of the announcement of the diagnosis. It's the frailty of. That's not my best work. Look at you. Your body language is cringy. You don't want that. That's not for the public. That's the stuff. I work chop next to the bar, kitchen in front of 10 people.

[Tig Notaro]

I'm fine with it being out there. And people would say, this is going to help a lot of people. And I was like. Because I didn't agree to release it right away. It took me maybe a month or so to think it through because I was like, that was. This is not for the public. Like, sure, I was on stage in front of a crowd. But no, that's what you do when you do an open mic. There's a crowd there. But is that gonna be your album? Absolutely not. And the fact that it became that, oh my God, as soon as I hear my voice, I'm like, eh, boy. Mm, mm.

[Interviewer]

It's funny for a number of reasons, but also it distinguishes sort in front of everybody. The pride that you have in the craftsmanship, it sort of explains how it is that you are so good as a comic because you're crawling around in your skin at the idea of it being imperfect. Like, it's not like. And what it was was, you know, imperfectly perfect because you were being, you know, you were trying to be yourself, trying to work through the. Literally trying to work through the pain.

[Tig Notaro]

Well, yeah. And so many comedians, myself included, even after you work out your new material, you tour it around, and then you record your album or your special that comes out for public consumption, and then you still have notes off. I mean, I know I do. Where I'm watching it going, oh, I should have. You're always tweaking and fine tuning and rewriting and moving things around. And so for me to just go on stage and do that show and then that be pressed into an album, it was. I had to just make a decision, okay, for the greater good, I'll put it out. But I thought it was not going to be well received. In my mind, I thought, I feel like I know and nobody else can see that I need to go to a deserted island and be there for weeks until this blows over after all the bad reviews. And, you know, because I just. But again, I think that's what excites people, is that it was so raw and it was so in the moment.

[Interviewer]

And you're just imagining other people who care, like you, as comedians listening to it and being like, oh, but that's not sculpted correctly.

[Tig Notaro]

Or even just a person listening, whether it's a comedian saying, what's the big deal? Which plenty might have, and plenty of people that just heard it might have been like, what's the big deal? I don't argue with them. I'm, like, happy if it's helpful to somebody. And then also. But that's not just that album. It's anything I do. It's like, if I'm not for you, I get it. And you can go to hell.

[Interviewer]

To hell with you. Right? I wanted to go back there because during your formative years in your youth, you're not doing well in school, right? School's not for you.

[Tig Notaro]

No.

[Interviewer]

Classic education's not for you because you're the daughter of a wild child and you like music and the arts are calling you then.

[Tig Notaro]

Or, Yeah, I mean, I wanted to be in a band. My secret dream was to be a comedian. But I didn't know. I didn't really understand how you do that. Whereas music made more sense like, okay, buy a guitar, practice, get a band together, write some songs and work it all out in a garage and send your tape to a record label. Whereas a comedy career, I was like, all I knew was that I would turn on the TV and then it's like, please welcome Paula Poundstone. And that could be the first time the world sees Paula. But I didn't understand that. And that's not now. Obviously Paula and all these incredible comedians have audiences they've built over the years, but as a kid at home I'm like, who is this Paula Poundstone? How did she walk on stage to a sold out theater? I didn't know that. They fill the theater with audiences and then tape a special. You know, it's like the audiences bust in and they don't know who Paula palace is.

[Interviewer]

You have no access to your dreams. Music seems like a more viable one because you can pick up a guitar.

[Tig Notaro]

That seemed like, oh, I get that. But I'm not a great guitar player or great drummer. I play a little bit of both. But I do still dream of having a cover band with a bunch of 50 something year old.

[Interviewer]

There's time yet. There's time for all sorts of creative explorations for you. But you were saying, so a secret comedian because there was no access to that dream.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, I didn't know who to. I was in Texas as a teenager and I was like so obsessed with standup comedy, but I didn't know who to talk to to find out how do I do, like, where do I go, what do I do? I want to be a comedian. It just seemed so far off as far as a dream. You know, it seemed like becoming an astronaut, going to the moon or becoming president of the United States.

[Interviewer]

Yet you figured out how to get there somehow. So how did you take the first step?

[Tig Notaro]

Well, it was accidental. I have a group of childhood friends that had more focus in life and education and went to college, grad school and I just followed them where they went and worked odd jobs.

[Interviewer]

How old are you at this point?

[Tig Notaro]

When I started standup?

[Interviewer]

Just this period when you're meeting the friends, right? Because you leave school in the ninth grade, right?

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, but I had failed eighth grade twice and then they moved me up to ninth grade so I wouldn't hurl myself off a building. Go to eighth grade three times. No, I did it twice. Failed it both times. They moved me up to ninth. I failed that and then I dropped out. So I was essentially almost or exactly the age of when you graduate. So I left school. School and just went with my friends at, whenever they were in college. But I met them in elementary, junior high school age. And so one of my friends went to college and grad school for film and TV and she wanted to move to Los Angeles. So I went through a breakup right when they were moving out to la. And I was like, well, I guess I'll just throw my stuff in your truck and we'll go out there before

[Interviewer]

we get to the jobs. And what all that was when you were fighting for the life. If I go back to eighth grade now, what's happening at home that makes it okay to fail 8th grade twice and take a different path from traditional schooling?

[Tig Notaro]

It wasn't okay for me to be failing. I think honestly my mother, my stepfather were just like, oh my God. Oh my God. They were so. Just exhausted by my inability to focus and, and get out of school on a legit path. And so I remember I was, I had, I don't know what I did, whether I was tardy a bunch or I was talking too much in class or whatever it was. I ended up in, in school suspension. And so I'm just in a cubicle. There's other like, you know, 10 other losers in school that are like in school suspension. And so I was given a day in in school suspension for something. And then they deliver your work that you're supposed to do for that day. They collect all the assignments from your different teachers and put them in your cubicle. And I was looking at it thinking, I don't know who they think is going to be doing this work. I don't even do it when I'm out of in school suspension. And I thought, well, I guess I'll just head out of here. Because they keep adding days in in school suspension, even if you were only in for one, if you don't finish your regular schoolwork, then they add another day. So I was like, I'm never gonna get out of here. I'm just going to grow a long gray beard in school suspension. So I, it hit me, I was like, I'm gonna head out. I'm gonna, I quit. I'm done.

[Interviewer]

You're in a bit of solitary confinement for 8th graders. Except you're a 12th grader.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, except I'm old enough to drink.

[Interviewer]

So there must have been liberty in that though. Like, you're just like, oh, I was stacking up debt and it was a

[Tig Notaro]

massive light bulb moment where I was like, I'm gonna head out. And I got up out of my seat and you Know, they just have gym coaches that are, like, you know, out of shape. Like, they're off that period of class, so they put them in charge of yours.

[Interviewer]

Oh, you planned your escape. You were gonna run if you had to. Like, they weren't gonna chase you down. These fat guys who don't care very much about their jobs.

[Tig Notaro]

Well, he's, you know. You know those coaches. And when I got up to walk out of the room, I remember the coach got up. He's like, oh, whoa, whoa. Where do you think you're going? And I said, I'm heading out. I'm going. I quit. I'm done. He's like, what do you mean? I said, I'm quitting school. Like, I'm leaving. And he got out of my way. He's like, oh, okay. And I remember driving home just like, why didn't I do this sooner? Oh, my gosh. And so I think that my mother, when I told her she went to college, but she dropped out, and. And I think she just got it, and I was just ready to move on and start a new chapter in life. And I remember she would always brag to people when they'd be like, how's Tig? She'd be like, oh, you know, she dropped out of school. She's doing her own thing. And I was like, I had nothing going on. Like, I truly just dropped out, and I didn't have a plan.

[Interviewer]

Have you carried that anywhere into adulthood with something like that? What a great lesson to learn young. Wait a minute. I can just quit if I don't like something and start over to see if I can find happy somewhere else. Like, is that something that has presented itself again?

[Tig Notaro]

I mean, sure, I mean, relationships and places to live. But I also have been experiencing a new level of lessons on the opposite side of not quitting and taking criticism and feedback and using it to my advantage. And instead of getting mad about it being like, maybe I should try that.

[Interviewer]

Anything in particular you're thinking of there? Like, because. Yeah. Something hurting your feelings or you're done with something? The criticism. I'm not good at this. There's no reason to try anymore. No, I don't quit. And now it's more fulfilling.

[Tig Notaro]

I think that it's an interesting place to be as a standup comedian. That. And this is. Listen, this is a very nice problem to have, and I am well aware. But Years ago, over 20 years ago, I have friends like Zach Galifianakis, Sarah Silverman, all these people getting their own TV shows and wanting me to make appearances on there. And I've never acted. I didn't go to acting school, had no interest in acting. I was pure standup, and I did it. And I had the luxury of very kind, supportive friends that when I got nervous, you know, Sarah took me out of the room and she was like, let's just jump up and down. She was like, there's no reason to be nervous because we're friends and we're doing something fun. And then she'd be like, now do your worst possible take. And it just took all the pressure off of me. And I'd be like, okay. But it wasn't my world to begin with. And then that appearance on her show or on Zach's show or whoever show then led me to another one and another one, and then I'm in. And I'm still not acknowledging that I'm an actor. 20 years later when people are like, oh, and this is my friend, the actor. Take note. I'm like, whoa, I'm not an actor, because I don't want to offend actors.

[Interviewer]

And so that's some real imposter syndrome. To be acting for 20 years and not identify as an actor.

[Tig Notaro]

Well, yeah, I mean, I'd be on an interview and right underneath me be like, actor Tig Notaro. And I'd be like, oh, gosh, I'm so sorry to the other actors. Like, I. I did not ask that to be underneath me. But, yeah, that's one of those things of just learning that, okay, I'm an actor, I'm here now. I need to prepare, and I need to give it all that I can. And there are plenty of people that are still gonna be like, you need to give more.

[Interviewer]

What's happening there that you're not allowing yourself the grace of no, I. Or the ego of no, I am acting. I'm an actor. I'm getting parts.

[Tig Notaro]

I don't know if it's in reverse. There are actors that start doing comedy where you're like, that's not a real stand up. That's an actor doing standup because they want to be able to sell tickets. And, you know, so I didn't want, like, that's not me saying nobody should do that, but likely they're not impressing me or other comedians, you know, And I know that's possibly the same with, like, very trained, serious actors might be like, what is she doing here? But anyway, that's an example of I want to step up to where I actually am in life. Also another part of my life that I'M not running away from is my marriage. I've dated so much over the years. Never did I ever think I would be married at all. Not like I was running around town or cheating or anything like that. I just, I'm not getting married. And then I met Stephanie. And yes, I'm in a committed long term relationship. We've been together 13 years. I love being in a long term, committed relationship. That's a road I've never been down and it's a new and exciting path for me and old me or some people would look at that and be like, I don't want to be stuck in something for my whole life, you know. And so that's another example of, I think, something that I'm not quitting and I'm not walking away from. The world moves fast.

[Interviewer]

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[Tig Notaro]

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[Tig Notaro]

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[Interviewer]

Why did you think that you would never be married?

[Tig Notaro]

Oh my gosh, the things I would say in relationships that were so telling of how one foot out I was. I remember one girlfriend said we had been together like six months or something and, and she was doing something in the kitchen and she was like, where should we go for Thanksgiving? And I was like thinking, thanksgiving? She thinks we're going to be together at Thanksgiving. Or another girl. She was making homemade soup for me and I just was like, how do you think our relationship's going to end? I just thought like, let's have a. Like let's just explore that thought like, are you going to cheat on me? Are we going to.

[Interviewer]

Were you commitment phobic?

[Tig Notaro]

I had never had a relationship. I just, I don't know. Maybe, maybe. I don't know. But also, it's no mystery that this happened after I lost everything in life, you know, my health and my mother and my ex. And by the way, the ex that I was with at that time, she's a very dear and close friend. And our families hang out together now, which is just wonderful. I mean, I committed to people for a year or five years, but then I thought, well, I'll probably just move along.

[Interviewer]

You know, when you talk about this transformative year, this is a broad question, given everything you were dealing with at the same time. But two part question. How do you feel like it changed you? And probably too broadly, what do you think you learned?

[Tig Notaro]

Well, it changed me in. I really don't know who I was before 2012. When I think back, I literally do not understand what I was doing. I don't understand. And I really felt like it was one of those experiences where you're pushed to the edge of the planet and you're hanging over and some get pulled back and some don't. And I was luckily pulled back. And I think that it is genuinely humbling to be that ill and to be that sad and to be that fearful. And I think I'm more, not just humbled, but I am more careful with people's feelings and just way more sensitive. And I want to do good in the world. I want to be around good. And yeah, it's like driving recklessly and getting in an accident and just being like, I will never, ever. But then you're human and time passes and you take things for granted and you're floating, drifting further from that grounding place. But the luxury is that I'm still tethered to that and I can have those wake up moments of back on

[Interviewer]

track because you've made the commitment to someone else, you've made the commitment to yourself.

[Tig Notaro]

Well, and it's because I can't unfeel or unsee what happened then. And yeah, yeah, I don't know how people aren't changed. I remember I was on a tv, I was on a production where this guy after I had cancer and he was like, hey, it was like a really impressive story. He's like, I had cancer. I have stage four this and that kind of. I was like, whoa. And then I saw him light up a cigarette on a smoke break and I was truly. I don't mean if that's judgmental, it's judgmental. But it was just more like I so could not relate to that because after I was sick, I started exercising every day. I changed the way I eat. All of those things that you're supposed to do. I didn't think about. I did not think about. I was the epitome of the person that was like, that's not gonna happen to me. I'm not gonna ever get cancer. I did. Among other things.

[Interviewer]

It sounds somewhere in there like you learned to love better. And in that transaction, you love yourself better as well.

[Tig Notaro]

Absolutely. I for sure did. And. And that is what I'm continuing to go back to what I was saying earlier about trying to find my place in. Yeah, I have the go to hell in me, but I also get a little baby giraffe legs in certain situations where I'm not standing up for myself. And I need to learn how to do that. But again, I'm doing fine. And I think that just finding that balance between the tenderness and the go to hellness, I'm just more aware. I'm way more aware.

[Interviewer]

What was the soup?

[Tig Notaro]

I feel like it was like a carrot ginger.

[Interviewer]

You'd know now. Be more aware.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, I would have been so thankful.

[Interviewer]

You wouldn't be in the middle of it saying, so how do you think our relationship is going to end? But I actually recognize some of what you're talking about when you talk about the tether and whatever, wherever it is, that your lack of gratitude makes you move away from the present. Right. Makes you move away from the things that sustain you or make you happy or remind you to love yourself and not fall into the same old patterns of distracted forgetfulness. Because there are plenty of things to distract you.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh my gosh, so many. And you have to actively make changes. And I know that seems obvious, but you really have to actively make changes to have a different result. And you can't just hope things will shift without a massive change on your part.

[Interviewer]

The success, though, can be tricky here. Right? Cause there are all sorts of golden things now on your path that could grab you by the ear and make you forget, whatever. If you're forgetful, if you're in a place that isn't tethered, because whatever. Many of the Hollywood shiny baubles that perhaps you'd never been intoxicated by, but that offer opportunities that maybe become a cover band in your 50s because you're about to have an assortment of opportunities that feed you. I would assume once you get into the Oscar space, possibly.

[Tig Notaro]

I mean, you see Oscar nominees and winners that kind of go by the wayside or struggle to get work. But I think that also comes down to maybe their personalities or they shift into different interests. But I don't know. I think what's different about me is that I did not move to LA to make it. I moved to follow my friends. And so I'm playing a very different game. And I think that some people will trip over that with me and they can't put their finger on why I'm not driven in the way that other people are.

[Interviewer]

Your lack of materialistic here in Hollywood, they don't recognize it. It's an entirely different language. Right. All sorts of people are coming out here for different dreams that aren't bird watching, right?

[Tig Notaro]

Yes. But I enjoy so many elements of what this entertainment industry offers and opportunities, people that I meet and places I get to go and ways to express myself. But I'm not. I don't think I will. I know I won't ever be. I won't veer off. Nothing will be too shiny enough for me to lose touch with what I'm tethered to.

[Interviewer]

Well, and what you've learned is what you're saying, right? It's putting in my place very gently saying, no Hollywood shiny things. Where you've been, where I've been and learned what you actually want. At this stage in my life, I'm not going to be knocked over by superficialities.

[Tig Notaro]

No, I don't think that. I'm just playing a very different game. A very different game.

[Interviewer]

And where does it go in the next five or ten years? Do you have a plan for it? And this isn't just professional, what I'm asking you, because your newest work is littered with some of the things you've learned in parenthood, which I'm sure has also changed you.

[Tig Notaro]

Yes, that has very much changed me. And what I feel more than ever is, and that goes back to gratitude, is it's not that I want more and bigger, it's that I want to maintain what I have and I want to appreciate it. And I also want to. And that means my marriage, my connection with my children, my work, my health. That's really, really top for me.

[Interviewer]

Well, it's all that matters, right?

[Tig Notaro]

I mean, it really is. And the experience of making the documentary about my friend, the documentary, Come See Me in the Good Light, that experience was solely driven by love and passion. Not just me, but the director, the crew, Andrea, Andrea's spouse, Meg, the financiers, everybody was driving this project with love, and it was true art. It was. Every production I've ever been on, there's a weirdo rattling around, and there was not on this production. And we came through it with all of us closer than we ever were. I don't know of a production where the sound guy and the cinematographer are people that we're socializing with. Oftentimes, the crew just pick up a job, they move on. And with this, it was. And I know so many productions say and are a family after they work together. This is really a family. And it was so inspiring to be a part of it and to come out of that. That's what I want more of. I want way more of what I experience. And, of course, there's the sad element of losing my friend and our friend, but the way everybody approached everything was. And it wasn't just everyone was being fragile, and it was all in. Everything was on the table to talk about. Everything was on the table to laugh about. And it wasn't a sparkly Hollywood project, but it oddly ended up getting the top nomination through the Academy Awards.

[Interviewer]

I mean, you. I'm not gonna say it's darkly funny in any way, but it is really informative that you just scored, sort of skipped past the part. And of course, there was the sad part of the loss. But you're describing creatively, heaven on earth, following love right up until the end, where there is the greatest loss, which is what? Love.

[Tig Notaro]

Yes.

[Interviewer]

That had to be beautiful like that. Artistically, I don't know how you do better than that.

[Tig Notaro]

You can't. I have chills right now. It's. I was telling Stephanie that making this documentary was the only thing that has come anywhere close to finding Stephanie and having our children. That. I can't believe I nailed that. I cannot believe, after all of my failed relationships and imperfect partnering that I contributed. I mean, just so you know, I am very friendly with. I think there's maybe an ex that I. It's not like I have explosive, terrible. I'm still.

[Interviewer]

You didn't know how to be a committed partner.

[Tig Notaro]

I didn't know.

[Interviewer]

I didn't know how to love.

[Tig Notaro]

And I didn't even. I was just like, yeah, whatever, we'll do this till we don't. But the fact that I met Stephanie and that I still enjoy her so deeply 13 years later and that I love being with my family, I can't believe that that is my life. And I cannot believe I said this is the only other home run except for turning my health around, my family turning my health around in this documentary. Home runs. Home runs. And I want to maintain that.

[Interviewer]

Well, you probably didn't imagine that you'd be able to without dark comedy or edges intervening. Just tell a love story and tell a love story from the perspective of everything you've learned with your own loss and what it means to live well.

[Tig Notaro]

And that's what this movie is about. People hear that. It's a poet with stage four ovarian cancer, and it's like, oh, Jesus, that's heavy. But it's a movie about how to live, not about how to die. And it is so surprisingly funny. And people leave the screenings or viewing feeling this urgency of, what have I been doing with my life? I need to make some changes and I gotta get outta here. I gotta go live my life is how they feel after they see that movie.

[Interviewer]

You don't often get to feel right. What you just said, Tig, you nailed it. That was a home run. You're probably not that kind of kind to yourself even now with everything you've learned, right? Or are you like. Because that's the. What greater creative fulfillment will you have than allowing yourself the real joy of. No, I did that as well as that can be done. Because I was. Because I was following the right things. Because I was following all that life has taught me about what are the important lessons. You don't get those chances that often.

[Tig Notaro]

No. And what's so great is that I'm not the subject of this project. I get to be, quote, unquote, just the producer. And so I can really celebrate this project and tell everyone, you gotta watch it. It's so beautiful. Whereas if I was the subject of it, I'd be like, I'd be curious to see what you thought, you know, Whereas this. I'm, of course, curious what people think. But, man, I will go on about the movie, the subjects, and the process of making this film because, I mean, I've had so many great experiences making things, but this was. It just was something so different.

[Interviewer]

It makes sense what you're saying, though. It seems like with everything you've learned through all of the growths. Right. Stand up comedy is a bit lonely. It's narcissistic, it's selfish. It doesn't. It's not very conducive to committed relationships. The entire lifestyle. No, isn't. You're feeding yourself. But later in life, as you go through everything that you've gone through, you learn. It might seem trite, but you just learn to follow love and then do something that's about someone else. And then that becomes. That's also parenting, which is where your life gets turned. You know, you become a vastly less selfish person.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, my gosh. All I think about is my kids, my wife, and because I think I have ptsd. I know I do. Ptsd. After being so ill, I'm always like, okay, if something happens, I just want to make sure this is in play. And then we have this, and that is not set aside. And, you know, and then I'm like, stephanie, if anything happened, she's like, okay, I got it. But, yeah, it's my number one. And I. And going through losing. I mean, I've lost my parents, I've lost my stepfather, my cousin. Different people in my life. And there was something different in this loss of Andrea Gibson, the. My friend, the poet. And I. Just want to make sure, because Andrea's death, as painful and sad as it was, it was so beautiful. Andrea wanted to be surrounded by friends and family at home, and that is exactly what happened. And as I said, anything was on the table to talk about, laugh about. And it made me realize, look, I don't want to die. Andrea didn't want to die, but it's coming for all of us. And I've spent so much time trying to kick death away, trying to eat healthy, exercise, like I'm running. And again, I don't want to die. But what has changed with me is the real understanding. It's coming. So I want to have a more open dialogue, not just with myself, but even with my kids. Not to scare them, but just I want them to know I've had the greatest life in the world and had a lot of tough stuff, but I don't want to die. But if I do, I've done everything and more, and I want my kids to know that. And I want to have a special way that I go if I have the choice. I know not everyone has that choice, but that's just become very important to me, to find some sort of beauty and celebratory experience in my exit.

[Interviewer]

You say that and you remind me of. I lost my brother a couple of years ago, and it Little. Thank you, little brother. So it was some. And I sort of raised him, so it's like. And I don't have kids, so there's a lot here. And obviously the moment of his passing, the most painful, beautiful thing I've ever experienced because he was surrounded by so much love in. In the room.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Interviewer]

And the. The power of that is what allowed you to follow your heart and make something that everyone celebrates now. But you're like, you're. You're televising. You're broadcasting something that is. Is the greatest lesson.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Interviewer]

To. To have an appreciation for what's between here and there.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Interviewer]

And know. And know that it's coming. And live as if you live as if you have that appreciation with every step.

[Tig Notaro]

Yes, yes. And I want my kids to know that I feel that way. I don't want them. One of my favorite quotes, which I've kind of rearranged a bit so it's more universal. I think the original quote, and I don't know whose it is, but it's the best gift you can give your children is a well lived life of your own. But my feeling is the best gift you can give anybody is a well lived life of your own. And I don't feel like anybody in my life worries about me. Everybody knows I'm doing what I want to do and that I'm taking care of myself and I'm living a full life and I'm surrounded by love. And that's just really important for me to make sure my kids know that. And I of course hope that they experience that as well.

[Interviewer]

It's been a pleasure to watch, a pleasure to spend this time with you, but it's a pleasure to watch your growth as an artist. So thank you for sharing this time with us. I have the website, right, Right. Tigworld, Tignation.

[Tig Notaro]

Well, it's also just tignotaro.com.

[Interviewer]

you've got them both?

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, I think I have them both.

[Interviewer]

You're big Ballin now you got many a domain name.

[Tig Notaro]

Yes, yes indeed.

[Interviewer]

Thank you. Appreciate the time.

[Tig Notaro]

Thanks for having me and the work. Thank you.