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Dan LeBatard
You're listening to Giraffe Kings Network, folks.
Stugotz
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Diana Rossini
Folks.
Stugotz
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Chris Cote
Foreign.
Mike Ryan
Presented by DraftKings why are you.
Chris Cote
Listening to this show?
Mike Ryan
The podcast that seems very similar to the other Dan Lebatard podcast? I'm sorry. I'm not going to apologize for that. In fact, the only difference seems to be this imaging.
Chris Cote
I have been tempted in restaurants just walking past tables to grab somebody's fries that if they're just there. That hasn't happened to you guys.
Mike Ryan
I've done it. And now here's the marching man to Nowhere Fat face and the habitual liar.
Jessica
Diana, what are you doing right now?
Dan LeBatard
Just now?
Jessica
Yeah.
Dan LeBatard
My father said, what are you doing? I said TV and I took a picture.
Jessica
Oh, that's cute. Speaking of cute, we have a question for you. Very important one. We're gonna put two men on the screen and you are going to tell us which one looks younger.
Dan LeBatard
Oh, okay.
Amin Elhassan
Don't worry about anybody's feelings here. Just give us your honest appraisal.
Stugotz
Dan and Al Golden.
Dan LeBatard
Diane, the player in the background. Dan looks younger. So I think you can judge. You can figure out people's ages, I have found by their eyes. The lines around their eyes can usually tell you. And I think Dan has really nice eyelids. They look young. What is the.
Amin Elhassan
Is Dan helping his case by casually flexing his biceps right now?
Jessica
Surrender, cobra Jack.
Dan LeBatard
Look, man, I do the same thing all the time. I'm like, yes. So the. The cowboys are looking for somebody to come over. Look at that hour in the gym in the morning. I'm going to show this off. Dan's showing it off.
Chris Cote
Said you eyes. No, no.
Stugotz
Nice eyelids.
Tony
It's okay.
Amin Elhassan
Your hair is small.
Jessica
Did you get a blepharoplasty? Is that what it's called?
Chris Cote
I am not comfortable with this group of people objectifying me. I object in 2025 to all of you leering at me and saying I have nice eyelids. You've been fat shaming the shit out of me on television for 20 years.
Amin Elhassan
Well, your eyelids are not fat. I think it's almost impossible to have fat eyelids.
Tony
Not true.
Dan LeBatard
So you heard gesture. You heard Jess just talk about this. I thing you guys definitely don't know what she's talking about. I know what she's talking about because I'm going to guess our algorithms on TikTok are the same.
Jessica
Diana, save me.
Dan LeBatard
Yeah, women do the same thing. We look at other hot girls, a couple sports things and beauty secrets. And the biggest beauty secret thing. The trend right now is you get this surgery. They cut these tiny little like slits at the top of your eyelids and they pull it back to just give you sort of that Dan youthfulness where it just. They call it the Levitar pressure look. But the thing that's fascinating about it is the women that are doing these, they're documenting every day. And when you look at the photos of the first two or three days of recovery, it is the most frightening image because there's obviously all these little slits around your eyes, an area that you. You would think is so sensitive, but it works. Then you look at the. The before versus the after, like, oh, my God, they just. They look 10 years younger.
Jessica
It's crazy. It's a. It's like super black and blue after. It looks like you got two black eyes. And then.
Dan LeBatard
Yeah, it's just some of us are naturally beautiful, like Dan, and some of us have to go get slits in our eyelids.
Jessica
True.
Chris Cote
I would like for the video team to find whatever video they can of me, young or old, because you guys think you're hurting me in some way by telling me I've. I've been ugly or am ugly or my face or my face is bloated.
Amin Elhassan
Alluded to that.
Chris Cote
Or I only have nice eyes.
Jessica
You're comparing two hot guys to each other.
Chris Cote
Dan, you know what? You. Chris, man, you. You are saying. Look, you don't understand quite how egregious this insult is, okay? Because. So, Diane, I'm going to frame it for you this way because they're not experiencing this the way I am. I've been trying to hide my fat in front of people for 20 years, and I fail because this show does very well at making fun of my fat. Do you know who Chris Penn is, Diana?
Amin Elhassan
That's Oliver Platt.
Stugotz
That's Oliver Platt.
Amin Elhassan
It's easy to get the two mixed up.
Tony
Y'all are disrespectful, man. It's an unfortunate disrespectful so and so's.
Amin Elhassan
That feels almost intentional, honestly.
Stugotz
This is better than Chris Penn, though.
Amin Elhassan
Yeah.
Stugotz
No, as in more accurate.
Diana Rossini
All right, Put up the eyebrows.
Amin Elhassan
The eyebrows are a little closer on plat.
Dan LeBatard
Is that that doppelganger?
Tony
Don't say that, Diana.
Amin Elhassan
You're making it worse.
Chris Cote
Do you think I am Oliver Platt's doppelganger? Okay, look. No, I would like for you guys, guy.
Stugotz
Oh, God. Now that's Chris Penn.
Dan LeBatard
No.
Stugotz
Oh, you don't like that?
Dan LeBatard
First of all, okay? I mean, that chin looks like he has a plus one to whatever event he's going to there. There's a lot going on there. You don't chin like that.
Amin Elhassan
Rest in peace.
Chris Cote
Okay? I've been dead for 20 years, Diana, lest you think they're being cruel to me, okay? The way this started was not Robbie Coltrane.
Tony
Come on.
Dan LeBatard
Hold on.
Stugotz
What are we doing now?
Tony
We're just throwing up fat people at the.
Amin Elhassan
Hold on. Can I see him clean shaven?
Chris Cote
Guys, guys, let Me explain something to you. There is simply nothing you can put on that screen that I have not already been lashed with. So have at it. Just let me get through the part of the show where I'm explaining to Diana the incredible cruelty she's walking into, and I want her to have it and be able to play with it. You're coming into a situation, Diana, where they have accused me of looking older than someone that they're accusing of having early onset Paterno.
Stugotz
There's Hagrid without the beard.
Amin Elhassan
None of the baggage associated with Paterno. Just like the physical.
Diana Rossini
We have compared him to two different deceased people.
Chris Cote
Paterno was an 80 year old coach my entire lifetime. He was an old man my entire lifetime. They're saying I am older than someone with early onset Paterno. But that's not the worst of it. The worst of it is they have said that I look worse than Chris Penn. They say I look like Chris Penn died, which he did and then got sicker.
Tony
Oh, come on now we're just putting.
Dan LeBatard
Up any fat Fluffy now.
Diana Rossini
Come on, comedian fluffy.
Amin Elhassan
Dan, you don't look good, but that's also touched up.
Tony
Yeah, that's a Photoshop right there.
Chris Cote
Well, touch me up.
Diana Rossini
Well, phrasing, it's an HR issue.
Dan LeBatard
We should try to see what Dan would look like with the filter. Like just, just a light, Jess. You know the ones we use on Instagram and their stories, they're just like these very light skin smoothing filters. It. I think it would be.
Jessica
I don't use them, but yeah, it's okay that you use them.
Dan LeBatard
Oh, Jess, you're just all natural on social. You just, you just lean into. This is me. Accept me. All the flaws with it.
Jessica
Yeah, you don't do that. There's no filter on those biceps, Diana.
Dan LeBatard
Yeah, it's called you're naturally beautiful. And everyone knows that. And it's frustrating, but some of us who are older, a lot older than you, Jess, we have to, you know, make ourselves feel a little bit better. So you slap that filter.
Stugotz
Oh, no.
Dan LeBatard
But, but for Dan, like, first of all, I don't know why you guys. I think the problem is Dan's always been the oldest person on the show. So to, to everyone that works with him, he probably feels like he's 60, but he's just been doing it so long. I don't. Dan, how old are you?
Amin Elhassan
They put up two photos of Dan just now.
Jessica
I mean, he's almost six.
Chris Cote
I'm 56, but I've got early onset Paterno and I look sicker than a dead Chris Penn.
Amin Elhassan
You look good. And also like you being sad doesn't do great for your lines. So I have a question for Diana that's, that's a football related question. You're a mother. Are you putting your kids to bed before Ravens bills like the rest of us responsible parents? Because no child should see what's going to happen at Orchard Park. This is one of the biggest games of all time.
Dan LeBatard
I agree. We're actually having a major problem in this house because I am covering the Rams Eagles game in Philadelphia and as you guys know, my husband's family's season ticket holders, so he's attending the game as well. And we don't have childcare at this moment. So we're trying to figure out how we're going to leave New Jersey to go to Philadelphia so I can do my job and he can attend. And I would think you guys would understand that. Don't you think that I should have the priority because it's my job to attend the game, to cover it? As a journalist, he's making the argument that his family's had season tickets since 1974 and that while he understands it's my job to be there, he thinks that he should have the edge this weekend in case we don't have the childcare. In fact, I would actually like your answer because someone needs to solve the problem here. Unless, Michael, you want to take over and watch Mikey and Joey for me.
Tony
Well, Diana, I have a question. First of all, without getting too personal, how old is your husband? Was he alive in 1974?
Dan LeBatard
Kev is 39, so no.
Tony
So they had a strong like decade of doing this without him. They'll be fine.
Dan LeBatard
His family is fine without him. He live two hours away. They are surviving.
Tony
You should not have to justify anything beyond. I'm working, I bring in money for this.
Chris Cote
Well, but hold on a second. I would just ask Diana, this genuinely does your husband, you've called him an Eagles fan zealot. And I don't know where Eagles fans are. This week on I'd like to wave AJ Brown and fire Sirianni, but wherever the emotions of that reside among adult children that you run around, your husband included, you chase the other two and I'm sure he's a bit of an infant too. And I don't know him, I don't have to know him. If you told me that you dated a bunch of the Tommy DeVito's agents. Does your husband have any earthly idea how hard your job. And your journey actually is like, does he have any capable understanding of how hard it is to be you in the insider game, or does he have no understanding of that?
Dan LeBatard
He has complete understanding, which is why this is such a buffoon response from him to say that he should be at the game. Because he gets it. He lives this with me. I've told you guys about it. I wouldn't be able to do what I do without Kevin because he comprehends the NFL landscape so well and he understands the competitive nature to it, and he understands the importance of me being there for the athletic to cover a really big game. But he doesn't have the ability to separate and maybe even a little bit of the maturity to go, oh, wait, this is my wife's job. I am attending. Like, he thinks he's part of it. Like, I think he thinks A.J. brown is his brother. Like, he thinks Nick Sirianni is like, Uncle Nick. We're not. We're not the Eagles. We support them. We cheer for them. I have to go cover them for this.
Tony
Yeah.
Amin Elhassan
Wow. She just.
Dan LeBatard
You can't do that, though, because he's got a great job, too. But I've tried that. Like, I'll point to things, you know, or the roof or, you know, I point to the watch I got him for Christmas or the nice new sneakers I bought them, you know. But he contributes, too. He's not a stay at home dad, so I don't have a lot of.
Tony
Argument here, but, Diana, you have a very strong argument. They've been season ticket holders since 74. That means there was a strong decade where they did this without your participation, sir.
Stugotz
Going back to this, huh?
Tony
Yes, absolutely.
Chris Cote
He thinks he's making a great point.
Tony
You don't think.
Amin Elhassan
Let him cook.
Chris Cote
Look at how he leans in his seat. I got here late and I'm cooking now, baby.
Amin Elhassan
Let him cook.
Chris Cote
Well, no, listen to me. I'm gonna make the point again. You guys might not have heard it. It's not that a show that doesn't listen is unimpressed by your point. I'm gonna make it again.
Amin Elhassan
I'm hanging on every word.
Tony
I can't tell whether you're not listening or you're not impressed by the point. Which one is it?
Amin Elhassan
It's on him. So either way, whatever you decide, your kids cannot be awake for this Ravens Bills game. No child should see that. That's going to be ultra violent. I'm being told that the weather is going to be bad, which I think lends itself to more drama and more narrative building around these quarterbacks who are the two leading contenders for mvp. Is this indeed one of the biggest playoff games of our lifetimes?
Dan LeBatard
Yeah. I said it the other day on Scoop City on the podcast, and I had people react crazy, like I was overstating what this game means and what it will be. Everyone obviously pointing to the Chief Spills game and, you know, with the 13 seconds. And we all know how that that turned out. And that was a tremendous game. I remember watching it, and I didn't get that assignment when I was at espn. I think I had, like, Titans, Bengals, and Sal Palantonio got that game, and he's on the field chasing after Josh Allen and Patrick Mahomes after the Chiefs won that game in incredible drama and fashion. But I think for this one, the reason why I think it is what it is is obviously the conversation we've had all year about the, you know, sizing up Lamar Jackson to Josh Allen and who's the better quarterback. All of that, on top of the fact that this is. They are playing the best football of any other team right now. They are playing at the height of what they've done all year. They're rested, they're healthy. On top of the fact that I like the. I like that there's a little bit of nerves in this. Lama Jackson.
Chris Cote
Hit her with it again.
Dan LeBatard
He gets a little.
Chris Cote
Hit her with it again. Hit her with it again.
Dan LeBatard
Playoffs. So you got to respect that the Bills are going to handle it.
Chris Cote
Stop for a second, Diana. I'm sorry. We've got breaking news. We're betraying the Miami Heat. We are. They say we have an embargo. We do not have an embargo. We are not bought and paid for by the Miami Heat. Jeremy, what is your breaking news? Hurry up, Dan.
Diana Rossini
The original Miami Vice jerseys are back.
Tony
You got to be kidding me.
Amin Elhassan
They're wearing that this season.
Diana Rossini
They debut on Friday against the Nuggets.
Tony
Diana Rossini, huge deal, does an incredible job of covering this sport. She comes on with us regularly to make us a bunch of dumbasses smarter about the sport that we claim to like more than any other. And we break her analysis.
Amin Elhassan
Why is Jimmy Butler on the graphic?
Tony
To let everybody know about a fashion choice?
Amin Elhassan
No, not just any fashion choice. These were the most popular City Edition uniforms in the history of the NBA. I think they sold more than any out of all the ones that they've done. And it really changed the course of basketball uniforms entirely and across all the sport because of the popularity of this jersey, all the Teams started doing vice, especially in Europe, and they were all hot sellers. Guys, this is a welcome bit of good news for this franchise.
Diana Rossini
And the Heat really pushed to bring these back. This is not like, in conjunction with a bunch of other teams dropping jerseys. This was the Heat pushing for a long time to bring two city editions.
Amin Elhassan
What do you think of that, Diana?
Dan LeBatard
I think that was a really good move because it gave me a chance to catch up on some stuff. I have 15 missed text messages, including some coaching stuff, so thank you.
Chris Cote
Yeah, we're wasting it.
Dan LeBatard
I'm excited. These jerseys are going to be hot.
Chris Cote
Yeah. Diana, I'm sorry this is disrespectful to you. All of it is. And Jeremy, we're a marketing arm now for this team. It's disgusting. Like, what do I put him on here? Let me see. Hold on just a second. That thing just major penol on the ice.
Diana Rossini
Five minutes for spreading propaganda.
Chris Cote
Did we get that one?
Amin Elhassan
Oh, it's personalized.
Chris Cote
And also major penalty.
Stugotz
Five minutes high sticking.
Chris Cote
Diana, respect your sport. The size of this game in our. In America's most popular sport, it feels like on. On merit. It kind of feels like, oh, it feels like we're going to all watch the Super Bowl. We're going to watch the super bowl before they play the Super Bowl. If we're just talking about, I know these teams merit being the best team.
Amin Elhassan
And she was trying to, like, make comparisons to that. That Bills Chiefs game, that. That established a narrative for the Buffalo Bills that has always kind of lingered. This team, you know, famous losers in the super bowl. And that was an incredible game. But we of reverse engineering around the myth around that game, we remember it as great because it ended up being great. But the storylines entering that where you essentially, it's like a game of Highlander. There can be only one. You have two franchises simultaneously having the same narrative around it. You got to win the big game. You got to go through Patrick Mahomes. They're fighting for the right to seemingly do that unless Houston shocks the world. So the narratives around this are aplenty, and you have the two leading candidates for mvp. I really can't fathom, especially in that PrimeTime window on CBS. This is the biggest divisional game of my lifetime.
Mike Ryan
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Chris Cote
The Judge Coach Sweetie Stugats I should go say hello. This is the Dan Levatar show with the Stugats. Diana Cut can you put it in the historic context as well of this, which is for 20 years this sport became this popular because being atop the AFC east was where the Patriots could live, getting byes every year, winning championships, doing what Kansas City is doing now before Kansas City did it, which is. Nah, the best one only gets one of those. To me, I'm getting a buy and I'm going to play a team in the next round. I'm not going to have to go through both Baltimore and the Bills. The bills go 17 years without winning a playoff game. They get Josh Allen. They're at the top of the sport. He's playing the mvp, an organization that it can be argued, is, if not one of the best three in all of sports the last 20 years. The Ravens are an organization that births excellence, and they'd be something closer to the Patriots if not for the Patriots existing because that team has been that good for that long. This game and the history of the league and the stakes. What is it when Mike says it's the biggest one ever, do you say, no, it's bigger than that?
Dan LeBatard
No, I think Mike said his lifetime, which I say the last 10 years, I can't speak to. I don't know what was at stake 30 years ago, but for my time covering the NFL, this is. This is without a doubt one of the. One of the biggest games. I hate. I hate ranking it and reading it and. Because here's the thing, I had no idea the Bills were going to be this good this year. I was the one yelling and screaming on the show in the summer going, guys, this is rebuild time for the Bills. This is not a team that has any star players and good options on offense. I don't know how this is going to work. Stefan Diggs gets shipped to the Houston Texans. I can't name the other receivers that I think could actually make a difference. And then we figure out that, oh, wait, they don't actually need any superstars because they've got. They've got the guy. They've got Josh Allen, who's figured out ways to win every single game and has grown and improved this entire season. That. I think that's one of the bigger storylines headed into this. The mistakes we've seen Josh Allen make in the past, he doesn't make those anymore. He doesn't.
Chris Cote
Well, that's cleaned that up, Diana. That's. I mean, you say that's clean that up. I didn't know that that was a thing that people could do. I've seen it in my lifetime with Tiki Barber. He went from fumbling to not fumbling. But for Josh Allen to go as an evolution at the position. Like when I say the evolution of the position. Quarterbacks who can move, throw, do both things. Be a running back, throw the ball. To see him become a player who is that team turns the ball over less, historically less than any team like they. They don't. They're not only not reckless anymore, that's a team that is as good as it is and has eliminated all the bill stench precisely because Josh Allen doesn't give the football away anymore.
Dan LeBatard
That used to be the knock on him. When I would talk to defensive coordinators before their games, especially the big ones. I can remember specifically with Cincinnati, it was kind of let's just wait to see if he makes a mistake. Let's see him throw the ball away and let's take advantage of it. Let's take advantage of especially in the red zone. And that's. They can't do that anymore. They can't do it because it's not happening. And they're. You know, I can tell you the Ravens defense already is going to have their hands full with this offensive line in Buffalo because they're another unit. I think that's been underrated a bit or at least overlooked at times as we saw them handle the Broncos front with ease last week.
Amin Elhassan
They're also really deep, too. They've suffered injuries, especially in that game. They suffered a big injury. Number 70, I forget his name for the moment, but he was dominating. Went out of that game. That was, as you mentioned, one of the best D lines in the league, one of the best defensive fronts, I think. What have they allowed just 14 sacks on the season for Josh Allen, who leans on his mobility and his athleticism can hold onto the ball a little bit longer to make plays. That's an insane number for sack surrendered.
Dan LeBatard
I was talking to someone in Buffalo right before I hopped on with you guys and we were just like having like broad stroke conversation about keys to the game. You know, what are you guys thinking about? And it's just so funny how like the simplicity of some of this can be like, I know we could spend an hour deep diving into the to the X's and O's of what the difference will be. But his answer was just like, slow down, Lamar. You know, like, because at the end of the day that that is going to be the difference. Can the Buffalo defense figure out a way to slow down Lamar? Because oh yeah, there's that guy Derrick Henry in the backfield now, too, that they've got to worry about. And it's no longer entirely on the quarterback and that's the edge the Ravens have now, even though we've seen in years past, teams have struggled stopping Lamar too. But now they got to worry about these. Both these guys. On top of the fact that Todd Monk has done a really good job with this offense outside the run game, there's obviously options in the past in the passing game. So I do like this time of year where you want these answers of the smallest of details. But I think that's also what adds to how awesome this game is going to be, is just is it going to be Josh Allen or Lamar Jackson who's going to play better? And that's going to be the answer to who wins this game.
Jessica
Someone just tweeted this one at me. I'm not sure who this actor is or if this is offensive in some way, but I guess, like, it's a dude from Rounders.
Amin Elhassan
That was a dude that was trying to collect from Ed Norton and sure, that's him.
Stugotz
I know Rounders pretty well.
Dan LeBatard
It doesn't look.
Amin Elhassan
I'm pretty sure that's a dude from Rounders, man. I just saw Rounders, dude.
Dan LeBatard
Is there a guy, an actor, someone famous, Dan, that people have said, you look like that, maybe you don't see, but you lean into it.
Jessica
Robert Pastorelli. That's his name.
Chris Cote
I don't.
Jessica
This flounder is the answer to your question?
Chris Cote
This. Well, that's the first one I got. So this is. So I arrive on television and I'm fat. And Tony and Mike are very popular on Pardon the Interruption and it's a groundbreaking show. And they hate me. Everybody hates me because they want Tony and Mike. So I'm the fat guy who replaces Tony and Mike. And so what I get immediately is an assortment. It was my first introduction to people shaming me physically this way. I mean, obviously they did it throughout my childhood.
Amin Elhassan
But I was indignant about Rounders and I was wrong.
Chris Cote
You. I mean, I noticed.
Amin Elhassan
I just watched Rounders, dude.
Chris Cote
Mike, do you realize how often you're indignantly wrong?
Amin Elhassan
No, it's occasional but memorable.
Chris Cote
No, it's all.
Amin Elhassan
That's why. No, it just sticks out because it's such a rare.
Stugotz
We got super bogged down in here. He's like, no, no, Google kidding.
Chris Cote
I don't know. I don't know my executive producer at all. No, I need to be right here. Yes, I need to be right about Rounders. Let's interrupt everything so I can be.
Diana Rossini
Right about Round about Algo.
Amin Elhassan
We'll try a different search.
Chris Cote
Don't trust Dan at all that he's talking about his face being rounder. Don't want. Don't trust him to use that as material. Need to be right about rounders. Diana. I've been getting Flounder from Animal House. It was my introduction to learning I looked like Flounder from Animal House. I believe the people. They said it so often, I must look like Flounder from Animal House. But I did not think I looked like Flounder from Animal House. My self appraisal was pretty bad. It was not that bad. It was not. I look like a comically fat goofball in a movie that's made fun of by everybody.
Dan LeBatard
But is there someone that you think you look like or maybe someone has suggested it that you don't necessarily see, but you want to take it? Like. Like, for example, someone once said I look like Sloan from Entourage. I don't look like Sloan from Entourage. But guess what? I'm gonna tell people I look like Sloane from Entourage. Right? Like, you take that, you go, okay, I don't see it. But if you do. Okay, who's that for? You.
Chris Cote
I have to think about this for a moment. Amin is very eager to tell me who that is for me.
Tony
No, I'm just saying that's a dangerous game.
Dan LeBatard
See, I don't look like her, damn it.
Tony
But also, take that off the screen, Diane. That's a dangerous game you're playing. Because then you might end up not you specifically, but someone who follows that advice might end up like the girl from Love is Blind who kept saying I look like Megan Fox. People tell me I look like Megan Fox.
Stugotz
Dangerous Game.
Tony
It's the most dangerous game.
Dan LeBatard
Dangerous Game. I get Sandra Bullock, too. Dangerous Game, Right. Like I'm better off going Snooki. I look like Snooki. Although she's very pretty too. That's a bad one.
Tony
She's short also. You're not that short.
Dan LeBatard
Yeah, tell me I'm taller. People always think I'm short. I'm tall for a woman.
Chris Cote
I'm not comfortable with all of this objectifying we're doing in every realm. Today. I would like to start a segment where Diana points to things in her house with her bicep showing while she wears Eagle's green and.
Jessica
But you don't like objectifying.
Chris Cote
Playing the beach play.
Dan LeBatard
I mean, I'm doing it right when.
Chris Cote
She claims to be objective and comes on here, supporting Eagles Green. I want to go through some fast football topics with you, and not to make you compete against Mina Kimes, but I was legitimately stunned that when we hit Mina Kimes with this music for a long time. It rattles her and she can be rattled. She'll walk in the wrong place on a TV set and the, and, and trying to process all the information in her head, which is tons about football and give it to you clean. And Chris, because she's got seven minutes of material, but we're asking her to give us 25 seconds. Are you ready for the challenge of doing this with a number of names? There's a lot of news and a lot of fame around the news.
Dan LeBatard
Yes. And I'm aware me and I have had this conversation. So I'm ready to take her down.
Chris Cote
Okay. 20 to 30 seconds at a time on each topic. We've got a ton of them for you.
Dan LeBatard
Tom Brady has all the power in Las Vegas. He's going to be the one to make a decision. He's got a tremendous influence on that organization. We can debate whether or not we think that's a good thing or a bad thing, but I'd say it's a good thing because that guy knows how to win. So I think the culture in Vegas is about to change big time.
Chris Cote
So you're reporting that he's going to probably. It's up to him, but he's, he's probably going. If you had to guess, you think he's going to leave $300 million in broadcasting to go run the Raiders?
Dan LeBatard
Oh, I don't know if he's going to leave broadcasting. I just know he's going to have a very, very heavy influence and say on what they do in Vegas. I don't necessarily think Tom Brady is going to be walking around the facility every day. I could see him probably keeping his home in Florida because his kids are still young. He wants to be around them. The whole father stuff is important to him. But I do know that there's a lot of Tom Brady ness that is going to be part of the Las Vegas Raiders and they want it that way. Mark Davis especially.
Amin Elhassan
Yeah, yeah. The father stuff is important. The whole father stuff has, has in the history of broadcasting there been a dude calling a game of someone he's actively trying to hire?
Dan LeBatard
I don't think so because we've never had an owner in the booth. Have we ever had an owner?
Amin Elhassan
No, no. Like this is a very peculiar setup this weekend. Like it's pretty impressive.
Dan LeBatard
Does that bother you? Like I see that it doesn't bother me. Bothers me.
Amin Elhassan
That setup doesn't bother me. But I do, I am bothered by the lack of pre production access that Tom Brady is allowed to have who is bothered. But I think he could, like, look, there's been a lot of discourse online about his ability to do this or his inability to do this. And when a giant thing is not available to him in terms of pre production, you kind of wonder like, well, maybe we shouldn't do this because he's certainly not improving without that access.
Dan LeBatard
Look, I think the access is obviously important, but I've been told by teams, actually, I recently had this conversation. The best crews need the least amount of time in those pre production meetings. The most prepared are usually the best. And they don't need to sit there and Talk with Sean McDermott about what they're going to do on defense because they usually know because they've watched enough and studied it enough. So, yeah, do I think it's hurting Tom Brady that he's not getting as much intel as he could possibly, possibly get. But he's Tom Brady. He should be able to, to know, see, and he's being asked to do things that you're being asked to do as a player, which is identify things, which is why it just goes to show you how difficult television can be because he knows more than anybody.
Chris Cote
Faster.
Dan LeBatard
It's so hard to communicate, then articulate it in a very short window, which is what you're asking me to do, which is why I'm struggling right now, because it is hard.
Tony
Diana, we wasted 20 minutes of this interview. We haven't mentioned Dion Sanders or the Cowboys one time. Give me something.
Dan LeBatard
I think it's all smoke. I think a conversation happened. Everyone's kind of wink, wink in this thing. I don't think the Dallas Cowboys had a plan. I think they thought this would work out with Mike McCarthy. Mike McCarthy is like, Nah, I'm good. This isn't what I want in terms of a contract. He walks. Jerry's left going, all right, I got to go find a head coach. This is the Dallas Cowboys, though. And every single person in America that coaches football wants an opportunity to coach for the Dallas Cowboys. So starts making some phone calls, which is what he's been doing the last few days, and he's reaching out to people. And I think Deion Sanders is someone he reached out to. I just don't think that Deion Sanders is going to be at the top of the list at the end of the day. Once. Once the Dallas Cowboys start these interviews, Robert Sala, the former jets head coach, he's going to be meeting with Dallas over the weekend. He's. He's the first official Interview as well as Leslie Frazier. He's going to get an opportunity as well.
Chris Cote
Diana, correct me if I have any of this wrong, but the way that you phrased that, I was not familiar with the details, that McCarthy wasn't so much fired as offered a contract that was insulting or that he couldn't take. So if you're making that as a detail, are you telling me, oh, no, Jerry Jones is telling everybody I'm going to be in control of the coach. I'm not going to pay a coach a lot of money to pay to coach the Cowboys. I'm going to pay them in power. They're going to have the blessing of being able to somebody to be somebody who coaches the Cowboys.
Dan LeBatard
Yes. So from what I understand, they never. They never got to that, like, deep negotiation window. They just had enough conversation about what the future is going to be that they realized, yeah, this is not going to work. On top of the fact that it didn't hurt that Mike McCarthy had interest from the Chicago Bears and the New Orleans Saints sitting there. But I think for Jerry, I. I think Dallas fans are sweating this more than Jerry is, from what I understand. I think he feels very good that he's going to be able to get whichever coach it is that he. He wants. There's a little chatter about Jason Whitten out there.
Chris Cote
We got to speed this up, Coach.
Jessica
And waiting is what I.
Chris Cote
We got to speed this up.
Jessica
But then it fell apart because McCarthy got fired, right?
Dan LeBatard
Yeah. So Jerry's always loved Jason Whitten. He's always wanted him to be part of the Dallas Cowboys at some point, at some extent. So I don't necessarily believe that he's going to be named the head coach of the Dallas Cowboys, but I do think it's a name that we got to watch over the next few weeks to see if he would be part of a coaching staff.
Chris Cote
Titans general manager.
Dan LeBatard
Ran Carthon was fired last week. Right now they're looking for somebody new to step in here. They've interviewed over 12 different candidates. They called back about eight for the second interview. Mike Briganzi, he's the chief's assistant general manager. He was the most recent one to come back for that second interview.
Chris Cote
Marcus Freeman.
Dan LeBatard
End of the day, Marcus Freeman.
Chris Cote
Marcus Freeman.
Dan LeBatard
Marcus Freeman. Happy at Notre Dame. He's had opportunities in the past before. He seems like somebody that doesn't really want to make that jump yet. He's got that patience. Unlike we've seen other college coaches, I think he wants to stay.
Chris Cote
Russell Wilson.
Dan LeBatard
Russell Wilson wants to be back in Pittsburgh. He's working out, ready to go. I don't necessarily believe the Pittsburgh Steelers are going to go. 100%. Yes, Russell Wilson's going to come back. I think they're going to take the Mike Tomlin, what they want to do.
Chris Cote
Mike Tomlin.
Dan LeBatard
Mike Tomlin is staying in Pittsburgh. There's definitely teams that are all watching that. But for him, Pittsburgh's not going to move on from Mike. Tom. Aaron Rodgers.
Chris Cote
Aaron Rodgers.
Dan LeBatard
Aaron Rodgers. I think the new head coach and GM are going to be are going to make that decision. Woody sticking to his word. He's going to let those coaches and GM make that decision. But I have a hard time believing he's going to be in a New York Jet uniform next season.
Chris Cote
Teenagers running the Jets.
Dan LeBatard
True. Rick and Jack are the sons of Woody Johnson. They have influence. They talk to their father. They want to run the jets eventually, at some point in their lives.
Chris Cote
Woody Johnson, Mike Dreblade, Mike Vrabel, the.
Dan LeBatard
Head coach, New England Patriots. They just went from being a franchise that has zero direction to having a full identity. I expect them to compete with the Buffalo Bills next season. It's the best move Robert Kraft could have made. After obviously making a bad decision in hiring Gerard Mayo. Despite the fact that his intentions were good, Mayo wasn't ready for the job. Mike Bravel's ready to take this thing and try to get another super bowl for the New England Patriots.
Chris Cote
I'm sorry I did all that to you.
Amin Elhassan
Yeah, I kind of wanted to hear the rest of that jets answer, too.
Chris Cote
I. I want to hear the rest of that jets answer. And I blew it.
Dan LeBatard
Did I beat Mina?
Chris Cote
No. But it was my fault. She got. She got better help from me. I ruined you at the end. It's my fault, not yours.
Dan LeBatard
I. I didn't. I did not fall on my words once. I. The only reason why I stopped was just because I was talking and I couldn't hear your next question. I could have been even faster. I flew through that.
Chris Cote
Yes, at the end.
Tony
But the first couple of questions we gave you in the speed round, you took your sides.
Dan LeBatard
You didn't give me the music.
Tony
The music was playing.
Chris Cote
You gave me the music.
Dan LeBatard
I would have sped up.
Chris Cote
We'll do better next week. Listen, Diana, you've gotten great at all of this. I think you know this. Diana, surely you know this.
Dan LeBatard
I am trying to get the Netflix job. How am I gonna get the Netflix job if I'm not winning in this round?
Chris Cote
You gotta say Netflix correctly when you're under pressure.
Dan LeBatard
The Hamel wreath.
Chris Cote
Thank you, Diane. I appreciate it. I feel a lot of this was greatly unfair, but I have to admit to something. I did a moment during all of that introspection, self reflection. I was just lashing out at Jessica because she's been mocking the way that I look. And I didn't realize I was doing it because she pressed on what has been an eternal shame my entire life, since I was a boy, since I was an insecure little fat boy in phys. Ed.
Jessica
All I said, check the tape. Al golden looks younger than you. That's all I said.
Dan LeBatard
I always thought Dan was handsome. I remember the first time I met him. I said, he's a good looking guy.
Jessica
Never said he wasn't handsome. I never said you were fat. I never said anything.
Amin Elhassan
He's fishing for compliments, guys.
Jessica
You're right, you're right, you're right.
Amin Elhassan
Just stand your ground.
Tony
And he's eating that fish fry.
Dan LeBatard
I dated a guy that looked like him. Who?
Stugotz
Dan or the guy in the.
Amin Elhassan
You dated Jon Favreau?
Tony
Flounder.
Dan LeBatard
Jon Favreau.
Jessica
Rudy.
Dan LeBatard
I wish he was as charming as that guy, but he wasn't.
Jessica
It's weird that there's two famous. Jon Favreau's, right?
Amin Elhassan
It is.
Tony
Is the other one famous? He's famous for having the same name. That's not famous.
Amin Elhassan
I mean.
Jessica
Well, we know who he is. I think that counts.
Amin Elhassan
I don't think he's famous for the name. There's plenty of Jon Favreau's out there.
Jessica
No, but I was so confused when I found out that the other Jon Favreau wasn't the Jon Favreau I was thinking of.
Tony
There's also two Jon Krasinski.
Jessica
What?
Tony
Yeah, one of them works for the athletic, covers Minnesota sports.
Amin Elhassan
You got to change your name, pal.
Tony
No.
Amin Elhassan
I think so.
Tony
No, like, it's an office based situation. He should change his name.
Dan LeBatard
Michael Bolton.
Chris Cote
She's still with us. Okay. We thought we were. What? What news do you have on your phone right now? Diana, your life is crazy.
Dan LeBatard
You want to hear something funny? Someone just texted me about the Brady stuff with broadcasting and ownership, so I got to go work on this.
Jessica
But see, other people care, too.
Chris Cote
Diana, please tell, like, honestly what your day is. Like, how much news will come over that phone. Legitimately breakable news in the next 30 minutes.
Dan LeBatard
It's not breakable. It's usually just details of stuff that's happening. That's usually what I'm working on, is just getting little nuggets all day. Long.
Chris Cote
Okay. Thank you for the compliment I forced out of you. I'm sorry that there was so much objectification in that. I don't like being compared secretly to flounder from Animal House. And I've been trying to keep that in disguise that it doesn't hurt for 20 years.
Diana Rossini
Speaking of nuggets. Vice uniforms back tomorrow against the nuggets. Huh?
Stugotz
This guy.
Amin Elhassan
It's gonna be great already.
Chris Cote
It really did. The time really didn't did fly. Didn't it? Because he wasn't here.
Diana Rossini
Love you too. Just saying the year 2025 already makes me feel like I'm living in the future. But I think a lot of us all around this country are questioning the future of our individual business. But what does the future hold for business? If you ask nine different experts, you'll probably get 10 different answers. Bull market. Bear market. Inflation up. Inflation down. Could someone just please invent a crystal ball? Until that day comes, over 41,000 businesses have already future proofed themselves with NetSuite by Oracle. The number one Cloud ERP, NetSuite seamlessly integrates accounting, financial management, inventory and HR into one powerful platform. And thanks to real time insights and forecasting, you're not just guessing. You're acting on actionable data. Close your books in days, not weeks, and spend more time looking ahead. Whether your company earns millions or even hundreds of millions, NetSuite helps you meet today's challenges and seize tomorrow's opportunities. Speaking of opportunity, download the CFO's guide to AI and machine learning at netsuite.com DLB the guide is free to you at netsuite.com DLb netsuite.com DLB all set for your flight?
Dan LeBatard
Yep. I've got everything I need. Eye mask, neck pillow, T Mobile headphones. Wait. T Mobile? You bet. Free inflight Wi Fi 15 off all Hilton brands. I never go anywhere without T Mobile. Same goes from a water bottle, chewing gum, nail clippers. I'm gonna leave you to it.
Mike Ryan
Find out how you can experience travel.
Chris Cote
Better@T mobile.com Travel qualifying plan required. WiFi were available on select US airlines.
Stugotz
Deposit and Hilton honors membership required for 15% discount.
Chris Cote
Terms and conditions apply.
Podcast Summary: The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz – "The Big Suey: Early Onset Paterno" (feat. Diana Russini)
Release Date: January 16, 2025
Hosts: Dan Le Batard, Stugotz
Guest: Diana Rossini
Location: Elser Hotel, Downtown Miami
The episode kicks off with the familiar energetic banter between Dan Le Batard and Stugotz. Initial moments are dedicated to light-hearted jokes and setting the stage for the day's discussions. Notably, humorous exchanges about physical appearances and playful teasing among the hosts set a relaxed and engaging tone.
Notable Quote:
A significant portion of the episode centers around a segment where Diana Rossini challenges Dan to compare two men on screen to determine who looks younger. This leads to a series of humorous and candid discussions about looks, aging, and societal beauty standards.
Notable Quotes:
The conversation delves deeper into beauty trends, specifically the Levitar pressure treatment for eyelids, highlighting societal pressures to maintain youthful appearances. Chris Cote opens up about his insecurities related to his appearance, revealing personal struggles with body image and past experiences of being ridiculed.
Notable Quotes:
Dan shares a personal dilemma about attending a crucial NFL game between the Rams and Eagles in Philadelphia while managing family responsibilities. The discussion highlights the challenges journalists face in balancing professional obligations with personal life, especially during significant sporting events.
Notable Quote:
A major focus of the episode is the upcoming Ravens vs. Bills game, described as one of the biggest playoff games of all time. The hosts provide in-depth analysis of both teams, emphasizing the evolution of key players like Josh Allen and Lamar Jackson, and discussing strategic elements that could determine the game's outcome.
Notable Quotes:
Transitioning from NFL discussions, the podcast shifts focus to the Miami Heat's decision to bring back the original Miami Vice jerseys. The hosts and Diana Rossini delve into the historical significance of these jerseys, their impact on basketball fashion, and the franchise's strategic marketing moves.
Notable Quote:
In an engaging speed round, Dan and co-hosts discuss recent and potential coaching changes across various NFL teams. Topics include Tom Brady's influence on the Las Vegas Raiders, the Dallas Cowboys' search for a new head coach, and speculation around prominent figures like Jason Whitten and Marcus Freeman.
Notable Quotes:
The latter part of the episode is marked by humorous exchanges about celebrity look-alikes, personal anecdotes, and the hosts' playful competitiveness. As the discussion winds down, the hosts reflect on the episode's highlights and tease upcoming topics, maintaining the show's signature blend of sports analysis and light-hearted humor.
Notable Quotes:
"The Big Suey: Early Onset Paterno" is a quintessential episode of The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz, seamlessly blending in-depth sports analysis with personal stories and comedic interactions. From dissecting one of the most anticipated NFL games of the year to exploring the cultural impact of basketball uniforms, the episode offers a comprehensive and entertaining listen for both avid fans and casual listeners.
Key Takeaways:
This detailed summary captures the essence of the episode, ensuring that listeners and readers alike can grasp the key discussions, humor, and insights shared by the hosts and guest.