The Big Suey: Finders Keepers, Losers Weepers (feat. David Samson)

Summary

Summary of "The Big Suey: Finders Keepers, Losers Weepers" Featuring David Sampson The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz – April 30, 2025

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Introduction

In this engaging episode of The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz, hosts Dan LeBatard and Stugotz delve into a memorable incident at a Pearl Jam concert, followed by an in-depth discussion on the Miami Heat's management strategies and the broader implications of tariffs on major corporations like Amazon. Featuring guest David Sampson, the conversation balances humor with critical analysis, providing listeners with a comprehensive look at sports management, consumer economics, and personal anecdotes.

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1. The Pearl Jam Concert Incident

The episode kicks off with a humorous yet cringe-worthy recounting of an incident involving Dan LeBatard at a Pearl Jam concert. Dan shares his embarrassing experience of losing his concert ticket, leading to a series of comedic exchanges with David Sampson.

• Dan LeBatard (07:08): "A ruinous experience for David Sampson to have to sit next to Zaslo. After helping Zaslow and everyone secure these tickets, I have no defense for anything that is in my face other than utter shame because I'm an idiot."

• David Sampson (05:48): "There was this guy standing where our seat was. He showed me the ticket—Dan’s ticket—and I looked like a jackass."

The hosts and guest humorously dissect the mishap, highlighting Dan's forgetfulness and the awkwardness of confronting someone who unknowingly takes your lost ticket.

• Stugotz (06:14): "You're not going to enable that sort of behavior. You've got to be able to hold on to a ticket."

This segment is filled with light-hearted banter, showcasing the camaraderie and quick wit of the hosts as they navigate the story.

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2. Miami Heat Management and Pat Riley's Future

Transitioning from personal anecdotes, the show dives into a robust discussion on the Miami Heat's current management and the potential firing of legendary coach Pat Riley. David Sampson presents a critical view on the necessity of a fresh direction for the team.

• David Sampson (24:10): "It's about Pat Riley understanding that it's time for a fresh start in Miami and a fresh set of eyes and ears and voices."

Dan LeBatard challenges this perspective, defending Riley's legacy and questioning the timing of such a move.

• Dan LeBatard (25:43): "You're saying they should be fired, taken employment from them. You say that their careers should end in the disgrace of you're no longer good enough to work here."

The debate intensifies as Sampson argues for the necessity of rebuilding the team, emphasizing the importance of organizational adaptability over maintaining long-standing management.

• David Sampson (26:21): "What owner's job is to win while the value of their asset increases. That's it."

Stugotz and Tony add their insights, discussing the balance between maintaining organizational stability and making bold moves to ensure future success.

• Tony (29:56): "If you have a front office with a proven track record of creating teams from nothing over and over and over again, I don't think you're at the point of total destruction."

The conversation also touches upon the potential acquisition of superstar Giannis Antetokounmpo, debating his impact versus the current team's dynamics.

• Stugotz (34:02): "Giannis is a billion times better than Bam. That's not a knock on Bam. That is respect to..."

• Dan LeBatard (34:10): "You'd have to get rid of him? Giannis, you're an instant contender."

This segment offers a deep dive into sports management strategies, highlighting differing opinions on team building, player contracts, and long-term success.

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3. The Impact of Tariffs on Amazon and Consumers

Shifting focus to broader economic issues, David Sampson discusses the recent actions by Amazon regarding tariffs and their implications for consumers.

• David Sampson (38:34): "Companies are trying to figure out they're going to pass on the increased expenses to the customer. We are all going to suffer because of the tariffs."

Sampson criticizes the government's interference in corporate pricing strategies, illustrating his points with the example of Amazon's controversial decision to display tariff-influenced prices directly on product pages.

• David Sampson (38:39): "There was a quick phone call and a quick meeting which said, hey, Jeff, here's an idea. We're going to crush you."

Dan expresses frustration over the government's overreach and the negative repercussions for consumers, emphasizing how tariffs ultimately lead to higher prices for everyday goods.

• Dan LeBatard (40:24): "Bezos and Musk and Trump just fight over the money. And what ends up happening is we all pay for it."

The hosts and guest discuss the broader economic environment, debating the fair distribution of costs incurred by tariffs and the ethical responsibilities of large corporations in such scenarios.

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4. Humorous Interlude: Toilet Paper Hoarding

Injecting humor into the serious discussions, the show briefly touches on the topic of toilet paper hoarding, referencing David Sampson's personal habits and the cultural phenomenon during the pandemic.

• Jeremy (40:38): "What if I got bad news?"

• David Sampson (42:09): "I am a hoarder of products having nothing to do with the pandemic."

The light-hearted exchange serves as a comedic relief, highlighting the absurdity of extreme preparedness while maintaining the episode's engaging and relatable tone.

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Notable Quotes and Highlights

• Dan LeBatard (07:08): "It's an utter shame because I'm an idiot."

• David Sampson (24:10): "It's time for a fresh start in Miami."

• Tony (29:56): "Creating teams from nothing over and over... not at total destruction yet."

• Stugotz (34:02): "Giannis is a billion times better than Bam."

• David Sampson (38:34): "We are all going to suffer because of the tariffs."

• Dan LeBatard (40:24): "Bezos and Musk and Trump just fight over the money."

These quotes encapsulate the episode's blend of humor, sports analysis, and economic commentary, providing listeners with memorable soundbites that underscore the main discussions.

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Conclusion

"The Big Suey: Finders Keepers, Losers Weepers" offers a multifaceted conversation that intertwines personal anecdotes with critical analysis of sports management and economic policies. Through candid dialogue and sharp insights, Dan LeBatard, Stugotz, and David Sampson engage listeners with both laughter and thoughtful debate, making this episode a standout installment in The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz series.

Transcript

[Mike Ryan]

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[Chris Cody]

Now's a good time to remember where tequila's story truly began. In 1795, Cuervo invented tequila. Cuervo, what are you doing here? Cuervo?

[Dan LeBatard]

Anytime someone says Cuervo, I show up.

[Chris Cody]

Well, I do know that to be true. But even during ad reads like Cuervo, I think he could lay out, especially for one of our great partners.

[Dan LeBatard]

Sweet, delicious Cuervo.

[Chris Cody]

Since then, Cuervo has stayed true to its roots. The same family, the same land, the same passion.

[Dan LeBatard]

Cuervo, same.

[Chris Cody]

So enjoy the tequila that started it all.

[Dan LeBatard]

Cuervo. Cuervo.

[Chris Cody]

The tequila that invented tequila. Proximo. Cuervo.com please drink responsibly.

[Dan LeBatard]

Cuervo. Welcome to the Big Sui presented by DraftKings. Why are you listening to this show?

[David Sampson]

A podcast that seems very similar to.

[Dan LeBatard]

The other Dan LeBatard podcast. I'm sorry.

[John Zaslow]

I'm not gonna apologize for that.

[Dan LeBatard]

In fact, the only difference seems to be this imaging. I have been tempted in restaurants just walking past tables to grab somebody's fr. That if they're just there. That hasn't happened to you guys. I've done it.

[Stugatz]

And now here's the marching man to nowhere, Fat face and the habitual liar.

[Jeremy]

This episode is presented by DraftKings. DraftKings. The Crown is yours.

[Dan LeBatard]

What are you laughing about? I mean, just the timing of our executive producer.

[Stugatz]

I'm laughing at you. Laughing at his timing.

[Dan LeBatard]

It's just perfect. It was.

[Stugatz]

It was. Mwah.

[Dan LeBatard]

Didn't tell me what he was doing. Didn't inform me. Just barreled on ahead.

[Roy]

You should get a divorce, Chris.

[Stugatz]

Yeah, there it is. Another checkbox. Tony, you're on the.

[Dan LeBatard]

The last one.

[Billy]

Yeah.

[Stugatz]

On deck.

[Dan LeBatard]

David Sampson is with us now. Nothing personal is the name of his podcast. There are a number of different things that I wanted to talk to him about today, inside and outside of sports, but he made Zaslo's dreams come true. Zaslow feels like he's on a heater ever since David Sampson. And he made a bet, a giant bet that now ends with the Heat producing the last good thing they did this season in terms of getting Zaslow work here, paid work here, and tickets two nights to Pearl Jam that our audience is sick of hearing about. So you guys want to, like, hug each other here?

[John Zaslow]

Hello, David.

[Dan LeBatard]

And be grateful for your newfound friendship? I don't know what your relationship was before this.

[John Zaslow]

None.

[Dan LeBatard]

So were you. But were you somebody who. Who said a lot of bad things about David Sampson's ownership in the Marlins?

[John Zaslow]

No. No. And especially because I was always for the stadium. Like, there's a stadium here. So now we have baseball. Like, for. I mean, team sucks, you know, but there's baseball here forever. Now, David had a major part to do with that, so I've never said bad things.

[David Sampson]

No, I'm not sure I recollect it that way, but I do know that I enjoyed watching you at the Pearl Jam concert. The only issue I had, Zaz. And we talked about whether we should stand at concerts when we did show together last week. But what I didn't realize is that I was not going to hear Eddie Vedder the entire night. All I heard was your voice. Every word, every song in my ear, and I didn't know what to do. I thought of an elbow. I thought of earplugs. I thought of switching seats, but I didn't have a seat. It was a whole magilla. But your voice is mediocre.

[John Zaslow]

Why didn't you have a seat?

[David Sampson]

Because Levatar is outrageous. Do you understand what happened? What happened is we had tickets, and they were hard tickets, Actual tickets, not on the phone. Tickets were distributed to each of the people in our party about an hour and a half prior to the concert. When it came time to enter the venue and show the ticket, Dan Levittard says, sorry, I can't find my ticket. He lost his ticket, which would have kept him out of the concert. He was there for his wife for her birthday. So my girlfriend has to go looking in a casino for his ticket, doesn't find it, and I'm forced to get him in because I knew security people.

[John Zaslow]

At the concert, by the way, that was so impressive. Like, David made a phone call, and a guy came out, and, like, we're okay, even though Dan doesn't have a ticket to maybe the toughest ticket I've ever seen down here.

[David Sampson]

So Dan gets into the concert. There are eight of us for only seven tickets. So we squeeze in, and all of a sudden, there's this guy standing where our seat is. And I. No one else said a word Dan is just sort of standing there with his eyes half open. And I said, excuse me, this is not your seat. And what does this man do?

[John Zaslow]

Oh, he showed the ticket.

[David Sampson]

He showed the ticket. That was Dan's ticket.

[John Zaslow]

Because who else has a physical ticket? Like, obviously, it's Dan's ticket.

[David Sampson]

He found it on the floor of a slot machine or a craps table. And he said, oh, I guess I've got a ticket to the concert. And he shows up, legitimate ticket, goes to his seat. And I look like a jackass. Because I said to the guy who actually was quite built and quite strong and I was. It was sort of a Giannis Halliburton situation. I said, this is not your seat. And he shows me the ticket. And I had to do tail between the legs and turn around and do a 180.

[Jeremy]

Oh, you gotta call him out. You gotta be like, no, you just found that these are our eight seats.

[Stugatz]

Hold on, hold on. I have some follow up questions. David, you said the tickets were distributed an hour and a half before showtime. Who distributed the paper tickets?

[David Sampson]

I did.

[Stugatz]

Well, that's your fault. Why? Because if it were someone else, I would say, well, they wouldn't know any better. But you knew better, man. You gave Dan a physical ticket. You trusted Dan in that. Really? Kyp, know your personnel it to Valerie.

[David Sampson]

You're not going to enable that sort of behavior. You've got to be able to hold on to a ticket. And this is, of course, after I'd run into Dan only 45 minutes before that with $5 chips falling out of his hand because he had, like. He was the guy. Oh, color change. Oh, no, I'm okay here.

[Jeremy]

So like, walked away with, like $100. Well, or probably more than $100 worth, but just a. Just arms full of $5 chips.

[Stugatz]

Kyp, man, if I want to give Dan something, I give it to Valerie, I give it to Mike, I give it to anybody else. I don't give it to Dan.

[David Sampson]

I refuse to take any blame in this. What I know is, is that I had to share one seat with Kara, and it was fine because we're both relatively small. But you have to picture sharing one seat next to Zaslow, who, by the way, very impressive, knows every word to every song.

[Dan LeBatard]

So a ruinous experience for David Sampson to have to sit next to Zaslo. After helping Zaslow and everyone secure these tickets, I have no defense for anything that is in my face other than utter shame because I'm an idiot. And while his girlfriend was looking for the Ticket. I was just standing there paralyzed in fear. When he says my eyes were half open, it's because, like, I've ruined my wife's birthday because I'm a toddler who can't be trusted with a paper ticket.

[Stugatz]

Hold on, Dan. Were you paralyzed with fear, or was there any other substance that was paralyzing you?

[Dan LeBatard]

Okay.

[Chris Cody]

Objection.

[Dan LeBatard]

I understand. That's not even an objection. I understand this idiocy would have to be drugged, but. No, no, no. It's perfectly sober.

[David Sampson]

It's just him.

[Dan LeBatard]

It's just I'm that sloppy on the details, and so let me. Let me just cover a few different things here. Do you know how humiliating it is to be standing there? And a man produces a ticket I know to be mine, and he has proof that he belongs in that seat, and I do not. And I know that's my. I know that's my ticket.

[Roy]

So is an aisle seat, because, like, if the guy claimed, like, third seat from the end, that's incredible. And he just sat.

[Jeremy]

Was this an end seat?

[David Sampson]

No.

[Jeremy]

This is insane, you guys.

[Roy]

So he. Hold on a second. So he sat in the middle of your group?

[Dan LeBatard]

No, no, he sat at the end. He sat at the fringes of our group, next to me. Me. Seething that he had my stolen ticket. But if I stole it, if I called security, though, the only person who got in illegally was me.

[Jeremy]

I get. Look, I get that he has that ticket, so he's gonna get to stay, but you at least can call him out on the shame of. We know you just found that ticket.

[Dan LeBatard]

We did that. That was done.

[Stugatz]

Okay.

[Jeremy]

That was both.

[Dan LeBatard]

Both. Both. Me. My wife said it to him, and so did Sampson. Sampson also said it to him.

[Stugatz]

David, you have a law degree. I'm sure you're familiar with the supreme court case people versus Maxwell Santos. Finders keepers, losers weepers, and possession is.

[Roy]

9, 10 of the law.

[Stugatz]

That, too.

[John Zaslow]

Just looking at.

[David Sampson]

We had zero standing. But I will point out that what did happen during the course of the concert when I was. Had zazzle my left ear, I was glaring far more not toward Eddie Vedder. I was glaring at this guy the entire time, like I was dressing him down.

[Jeremy]

Good side. I love some good side.

[David Sampson]

It was.

[Dan LeBatard]

Well, not only was it good side eye. I will say this on behalf of the side eye. This was a show for all time. And he left about seven or eight songs in because of whatever it was our. Our withering stares from the side of our eyes was doing to him.

[Roy]

Maybe found a better seat.

[Dan LeBatard]

That's possible. Found some other idiot who lost a better seat.

[David Sampson]

There was no better seat, I would point out, which we. Which we did for Zaslo and for Dan, you and your wife. But he left what I perceive to be in shame because of all the side eyes. But he did get the first hour of a Pearl Jam concert and really good seats. And I'd like to go through what was in his mind upon finding this ticket. When all over Hard Rock, where people said, you got one? Anybody got one? You got two. I got. People were trying to buy tickets, and there was not one ticket available. And there comes row N. Like, right, Perfect, Right? It's like mana from heaven. And he says, what do I do with this? And the guy goes to the concert, doesn't sell it, doesn't return the ticket. Which, of course, is what in a dream world you would do is say, I think somebody dropped this. That didn't quite happen. He just went into the venue.

[Stugatz]

How do we know he didn't flip the ticket? Maybe the guy that you guys are talking to is in that seat. Actually bought it off of someone who scalped it. How are you so sure that it wasn't.

[John Zaslow]

He knows what he did.

[David Sampson]

I love where your head's at. Because he left. I thought of that during the show. If he had stayed the whole time and, like, wanted to selfie with Dan because he happened to buy a ticket, that he found himself right next to the biggest celebrity, second biggest behind Chelios, but the. One of the biggest celebrities in the crowd. I assume he would have wanted an autograph, maybe a photo.

[John Zaslow]

David, you remember I was next to you, right?

[Roy]

Yeah.

[Jeremy]

Give me a player comp on this guy. Who did this guy look like?

[David Sampson]

He looked like Tony from Survivor 28, the winner of this season.

[Dan LeBatard]

Not helpful in any way. Go more.

[Stugatz]

Go, go, go.

[Dan LeBatard]

He looks like my friend Manuel, I think. Useless. Uselessly helpful. Nobody here watches.

[Stugatz]

Thank you.

[Dan LeBatard]

That's. That's fine.

[Roy]

You.

[Dan LeBatard]

That's. That's fine. That. You guys.

[Roy]

I don't think this guy did anything wrong, if I'm gonna be perfectly honest with you. He found a ticket, he used the ticket.

[Dan LeBatard]

I'm the guy.

[Roy]

What's he supposed to do, walk around? Dan Levitar, did you lose a ticket?

[Dan LeBatard]

Dad, I'm the guy who did the wrong thing. I'm not blaming him for any. He didn't have a story for the ticket. When confronted by two people, the back and forth was, that's not your ticket. And his response was, yes, it is. And that's all he had.

[Tony]

Got your Ass.

[Chris Cody]

All he had.

[Jeremy]

Got some Vin Diesel that all he had.

[Roy]

He also had the ticket.

[Jeremy]

Vin Diesel vibes for this guy.

[Dan LeBatard]

Yes, there was some Vin Diesel to him as well, but that was irrelevant. He got smaller and smaller as the night got on because he was ashamed, because he knew we had turned on our phone lights on his ticket, and that wasn't his ticket. He knew it wasn't his ticket, and we knew it wasn't his ticket.

[David Sampson]

And it wasn't just one phone light. What we did is we sort of surrounded him and each of us had our phone lights on it. And then we were looking at the other tickets, making sure that it was numerically in order. It was so obvious that he had done something that he should not have done because he didn't own up to it. I would have respected if he had just said, dude, I found this on the ground. I didn't know it was yours, but now it's mine. He stayed silent other than to say, it's my ticket.

[Dan LeBatard]

He wasn't expecting to be confronted. That part is true again, though, I'm the idiot. And I had to sit next to that. I had to sit next to stewing in my own.

[Jeremy]

In my own shame.

[Dan LeBatard]

David's wondering why my eyes are half closed. The means accusing me of substances. No, it's. My shame has filled up to my nose and I can no longer keep my eyes open.

[Stugatz]

I just want to reiterate again. This is all David's fault. You don't hand dance something.

[Dan LeBatard]

You don't. You are incapable of accountability. This is Halliburton. This is security's fault, not Halliburton's dad.

[Roy]

But you're incapable of accountability. You lost the ticket.

[Stugatz]

It is.

[Dan LeBatard]

I'm saying it's my fault. What kind of accountability? Like, there's nobody's fault here but mine.

[Stugatz]

No, I mean there's something happened before you lost it, which is David handed it to you. Clearly, David is the genesis.

[Roy]

Why was David's girlfriend tasked with finding the ticket?

[Dan LeBatard]

She just ran in a emergency situation and just disappeared. I looked around. Why do you think I was paralyzed with fear? Because my life was coming apart and. And I was weak in the knees. And so she sprung into action and nobody else was moving except for David, who's another springer into action, who immediately rushes in another direction. Make sure to get security.

[Stugatz]

Okay, now here's my question. Let's assume for a second that David's magic with the security wasn't gonna happen. Like, hey, no ticket, no entry, case closed. What were you going to do as.

[Dan LeBatard]

A group, play two and a half hours of slots by myself.

[David Sampson]

No, no, not true. Because we already discussed it. That Kara would not have gone to the concert. It was your moment with your wife for her birthday. And that she would have given up her evening.

[Jeremy]

I was thinking Zazzle's kid. I was thinking Zaz's kid doesn't get.

[John Zaslow]

It crossed my mind that I may be the one that's out.

[Roy]

Hold on a second. Dan loses his ticket, and immediately it's like David Sampson's girlfriend has to go to the fine ticket. And if you don't, you're not going to the concert.

[David Sampson]

That's the first.

[Roy]

That's crazy.

[Dan LeBatard]

Hold on, hold on. That's the first I'm hearing of that. That was not brought in any lead to another divorce. This was. This is the first I'm hearing of that. That is. I don't know whether that's true or not. That can't be true.

[David Sampson]

Oh, yeah, no, we had the conversation. So much happened, Dan, while you were here. You have to understand what Paralyzed with doing.

[Dan LeBatard]

Yes.

[Stugatz]

Paranormal.

[David Sampson]

Seven people staring at him saying, where's your tickets?

[Dan LeBatard]

Right? I mean, search.

[David Sampson]

His wife was getting anxious and.

[Dan LeBatard]

Hold on, hold on. And searching pockets that had proven to be empty the previous 27 times.

[Jeremy]

The old third check. The old third check. Let me make sure he.

[Dan LeBatard]

Hold on. I want you to see how alone I was in a teeming crowd. Crowd full of people, giants amounts of people rushing to get in. Also, I was pretty cocky 20 minutes earlier that we would all get there on time, there would be no problem. I had my pockets inside out. They had been rummaged through all of them 27 times. By the time I realized his girlfriend had fled the premises. And now it's getting worse because now everyone's panicking because they've realized, oh, Dan's been.

[John Zaslow]

Dan, wait.

[Roy]

I have a question. So, David, you naturally would have set out the concert if your girlfriend didn't go, correct?

[David Sampson]

No.

[Roy]

Okay.

[David Sampson]

No. Only one of us had to sit out. It wouldn't have been both of us.

[John Zaslow]

I mean, that is a. That is a scavenger hunt that she was on with incredibly high stakes.

[Stugatz]

That's why she ran. She knew.

[Dan LeBatard]

I just realized why it is that she ran into action right now. Because you'd had that conversation before.

[Roy]

It was her ticket that she was looking for for the concert.

[David Sampson]

You have to understand what was happening. Because time was standing still because Dan had a lot of pockets. He also was going through his wallet. He still has old fashioned wallet with A bunch of different slots in it.

[Dan LeBatard]

There was a card from, like, six weeks ago.

[Jeremy]

You're checking pockets.

[John Zaslow]

Scan this and let me in.

[Jeremy]

You're checking pockets. You would never put a ticket in. You're like, all right, this is. No way it's here.

[Dan LeBatard]

But I'm looking for pockets. I'm unaware that I have on my.

[Jeremy]

Looking for sub pockets in the pocket. Sometimes you get those.

[Stugatz]

That little coin pocket.

[Dan LeBatard]

More than once, not more. No, I did look. Trust me. I was counting.

[Jeremy]

It was that little Jean pocket.

[Dan LeBatard]

This is what I'm telling you, okay? The Panthers scored two goals, okay. And I was still searching my body long after 11 seconds. Like, I'm. I'm. I felt like an entire third period of hockey feeling my body. It was a long period of time that I felt alone with this. And I was going to go sit and play slot.

[David Sampson]

And everyone is panicked except my girlfriend, who's out looking for the ticket. I'm making sure that we can get Dan in because you have to understand the background of this whole Pearl Jam concert. This was a major thing for Valerie's birthday, and it was crumbling in front of our very eyes because Dan lost the ticket. And the show was about to start because we had inside information that at 8:49 is when lights are out and when it starts, and Zaslow wants to be there, Valerie wants to be there.

[Dan LeBatard]

Inside out with his pockets in the middle of the Hard Rock. Okay, we've had about enough of this.

[John Zaslow]

Meanwhile, my son is like, what's the hold up here?

[Dan LeBatard]

Yes. And your son would have been, I think, the one that would have been the loser.

[Jeremy]

That's what I'm saying.

[Dan LeBatard]

Your son would have been playing.

[John Zaslow]

The holdup is, you're going to wait here, and we're going to be back in a couple hours.

[Dan LeBatard]

Yes. Now, I do need to call Zaslo on some fraudulence here real quick, because it's being pointed out to me by sources that Zazlo should tell David how it is that he first described David Sampson to his son. Oh.

[John Zaslow]

I mean, I think I told David this the other day. My son, you know, a few weeks ago when I started making appearances here with you guys. And look, my son is not impressed with what I. What we do for a living, but he shouldn't be. But his friends will show him, hey, look, it's your dad. He's on Dan Levitar. Show to. My son's like, all right, who cares? And then they'll. They'll. They'll show him comments. And. And my son told Me. He's like, hey, everyone. Everyone's saying really nice things about you from the Levitarch. And I'm like, don't worry. That'll even out. And then he says, you know, everyone hates that Samson guy, right?

[Dan LeBatard]

Well, there was something else, though. You also called him the liar who built the city for millions.

[John Zaslow]

That's not true.

[Dan LeBatard]

Get. Find the sound for me. It is that you find this.

[John Zaslow]

Find that sound. I will wait forever.

[Dan LeBatard]

Okay, it's 100 true. No, I'm gonna find it. No, no. I'm gonna find it. Unleash the chickens right now.

[Roy]

Someone's recording Zazzo's private conversations with his son.

[David Sampson]

I wasn't offended.

[Dan LeBatard]

I told by informed sources that you absolutely describe serious in that way on our air. You did that?

[Chris Cody]

Everyone heard it.

[Dan LeBatard]

You're taking it back.

[Stugatz]

Cuz you're a fraud.

[Jeremy]

Like I'm here for you.

[Dan LeBatard]

You're a fraud. Like you are with Wind Horse. We're chicken. Like you are. Like Wind Wolver. You're a fraud. You say bears and then aren't accountable.

[Stugatz]

Also be a chicken.

[John Zaslow]

A lot of things I heard there are true, actually.

[Jeremy]

I love when Dan's alone is a chicken.

[Dan LeBatard]

I don't love it so much. I got to tell you. It's a little more vulnerable than I would like it to be. It's a. It's an unpleasant thing to do alone. I'm going to be honest about that.

[Chris Cody]

Hey, listeners, it's Mike Ryan. And if you've listened to this show for 20 years, you know one action movie franchise that I believe stands head and shoulders above the rest. That's right. The Mission Impossible series is one of the few franchises that gets better and better, consistently raising the bar with set pieces, story, location and character. This is a franchise that I've argued in the past should have won the best picture award. Tom Cruise consistently is upping himself and raising that bar with each Impossible film as the real practical stunts continue to push the envelope in new record setting ways. Tom's passion for entertaining audience has him, along with a dedicated cast and crew, pulling out all the stops to deliver the most thrilling, unbelievable feats yet. I simply cannot wait for this film. Impossible the Final reckoning in theaters May 23rd.

[Billy]

Hey, it's Roy. And at the ripe old age of 40, I'm gearing up to learn how to play hockey. I emphasize ripe old age of 40 because I'm not as young as I used to be. I'm tired all the time. Haven't been working out as much, so I'm going to need to build muscle and have the energy to accomplish this goal. What's going to help is this drink that I've been enjoying lately called Huel. It tastes great and has been helping me while exercising. You'll enjoy it too. New customers visit huel.com dan today and use my code DAN to get 15% off your first order plus a free gift. The Huel Black Edition Ready to Drink is high in protein with 35 grams. It's low in sugar and it has 27 vitamins and minerals to help build the rest of your body. It's better and cheaper than any cup of coffee. Don't feel like cooking? Grab a bottle of Huel. It tastes great so you'll definitely love it. Be a new customer today and visit hull.comdan use code DAN and you'll get 15% off your first order plus a free gift.

[Chris Cody]

Hey you in the audience, it's Mike. You've been a fan of this show hopefully for a long time and you know how much Miller Lite means to me. This partnership, it's real. It's documented. For almost 20 years, Miller Lite has been a partner of the Dan LeBatard show with Stugatz. And now Miller Lite is celebrating its 50th anniversary. I've had so many great moments with Miller Lite, so many great activations, so many great events presented by Miller Lite. A great partner. Cheers to them. Cheers to 50 incredible years. And for you at home, you know that Miller Time always means a good time. From game night to parties with friends or a special anniversary, celebrating important occasions means more moments with the coolest people in your life. Cheers to 50 years of Miller Light, the great tasting light beer for people who Love beer. Since 1975, now's a perfect time to celebrate legendary stories with friends, family and a great tasting light beer. It's Miller Time. Miller Lite great taste. 96 calories. Go to millerlight.com dan to find delivery options near you or you can pick up some Miller Light pretty much anywhere they sell beer. It's Miller Time. Celebrate responsibly. Miller Brewing Co. Milwaukee, Wisconsin. 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces.

[Dan LeBatard]

Don LeBatard John Zaslo. How you love that cat. Bad news for opposing teams in the Tripoli Stugats.

[Roy]

This is the Dan Levatar show with the Stugach.

[Dan LeBatard]

David Sampson. You've been firing everybody. You say the heat have to clean house and this is getting Chris, I don't know how you feel about This. I don't know how the group feels about this. It got loud from one day to the next. Nationally on Fire Riley.

[Jeremy]

The national stuff doesn't bother me. Heat fans need to back off Riley.

[Tony]

Yes.

[Jeremy]

You guys are in greats. Not like you. Go be a Hornets fan. All right, look, I'm not saying it's good. It's as bad as it's been a long time, but I'm going to ride it out with the. With the Godfather as long as he wants to do it, and he's earned that. And I love this. I just hate that Heat fans. It's just gross. This guy has given you so much joy and it gives you like two seasons in a row that are a little subpar and you just. You lose it with them. I'm just done with it.

[Dan LeBatard]

Sampson, you've been firing Riley the last couple of days.

[David Sampson]

Well, I simply. It's not about firing Pat. It's about him understanding that it's time. And it's a tough thing when you've got someone like Pat Riley because he's never going to get fired by Mickey Harris. And we know that is true. But at some point you have to do a self evaluation and say that what we're doing simply is not working. And the way we've constructed this roster is not working. And adding a third star to Bam and Hero, that is not going to be enough. And you therefore have to admit it. And I think it's time. And frankly, Spoester looked terrible. He. We talk about the fact that he acknowledged how embarrassed he was. He just. For whatever issues he's having on or off the court, he looks beaten. And many managers, this happens to them. And coaches, it happens to them. It's a really hard job. The Popoviches are really few and far between. It is time, I believe, for a fresh start in Miami and a fresh set of eyes and ears and voices. And that's not an indictment. Chris Cody at all. It's been the greatest run you've had, dare I say, in South Florida.

[Dan LeBatard]

It is. It is an indictment. How can it not be an indictment? How is that not because all runs.

[David Sampson]

Come to an end, but is that not.

[Dan LeBatard]

It's an indictment. You're saying they should be fired, taken employment from them. You say that their careers should end in the disgrace of you're no longer good enough to work here. What do you mean it's not an indictment?

[David Sampson]

Because all runs come to an end, and that's just a fact. And for people not to recognize that or realize that it's like holding on to a sixth grade T shirt T shirt in the top shelf of your closet singing Glory Days.

[John Zaslow]

David, considering how many times riley over the 30 years here has been able to remake this team and have success, why would you believe that he can't do it here?

[David Sampson]

Because I believe that his time has passed. And that's not an ageist thought. It's actually. I don't want to spoil this. I actually. I'm not going to be irresponsible and be a journalist in this way. I will only say this, that what owner's job is at the end of the day, it's not to make fans happy, it's not to have great ballparks with great concessions. What an owner's job is to win while the value of their asset increases. That's it. And what Mickey Ariston has done is both. But when one stops, which is the winning. The Heat were a 10 seat, a below.500 team. They are overmatched. Forget what you think happened in the Cavalier series and how pissed off Poppy is. They have no path path to competitiveness with this current administration and this current team. And as an owner, you've got to.

[Dan LeBatard]

Recognize the path is get Giannis.

[David Sampson]

That's no, Giannis himself will not make a difference for this Heat team. What we going to get? Wait, wait a minute. Are you getting Giannis as a free agent?

[Dan LeBatard]

Just getting trade. Giannis, you're an instant contender, but what.

[Roy]

Do you have to get rid of?

[David Sampson]

What? Milwaukee. Mediocre.

[Dan LeBatard]

Giannis, you're an instant contender.

[David Sampson]

Mediocre. Not good enough.

[John Zaslow]

I just don't understand what can a potential new regime apparently do to make this team set on the right path that you believe that this current regime can't do?

[David Sampson]

I'm going to tell you, Zaz, it's the ability to actually rebuild, which the Heat have never been willing to do. They've never been willing to understand that you may have to take three steps back and not be in the middle. Pat Riley would tell you himself, being a 10 seed or a 7 seed is the. It's the worst place to be in any sport.

[Dan LeBatard]

All right, this is what's happening right now. Sampson, I'm sorry, but Jeremy is stomping around in the studio saying he just wants to fire everybody and he doesn't know anything about the sport he's talking about.

[Tony]

I just think that deciding that firing everyone is always the solution has been proven by organization after organization after organization to not be the best thing for organizations. So if you have a front office with a proven track record of creating teams from nothing over and over and over again. The team that they had the year before they acquired Jimmy Butler was pretty terrible. The future was justice Winslow, Josh Richardson, Derrick Jones Jr. And that was it. And they turned that into Jimmy Butler. So I'm not saying that they will do that again in terms of star acquisition, but when you're in a place where you have an all NBA center and an all star guard who were Both in their 20s, I don't think that you're at this point of total destruction when you have all of these picks laid ahead of you for the very first time in what, two decades. Like, I think you're in the place that you would want a front office to be to move forward.

[David Sampson]

And I think your delusion is that you think that Bam and Tyler are the centerpieces of a championship team.

[Tony]

I have no reason to believe that those guys can't be part of a core that goes to and wins championships because they have been part of a corps that has gone to multiple championships in the last five years alongside another elite player. They need to acquire another elite player. I'm not saying that they don't need to. In order for those guys to be able to win a championship. They would say that themselves, that they need another guy to be able to win a championship. But that doesn't mean that those two players who have proven who they are, especially Bam Adebayo, can't be a centerpiece of a championship organization.

[John Zaslow]

I mean, David, you want, want, you want these guys fired when they've been to the finals two of the last five years, only one of the team has done that and that's the Celtics.

[David Sampson]

I'm trying to think of the NBA coaches who have won championships who don't have jobs. Now, what's that stat? Jeremy? I believe that every NBA coach of a champion in the last four years, I think one still has the job. I think I may have, I may have it wrong.

[John Zaslow]

Maybe I think it's five.

[Dan LeBatard]

Most of them have been fired within three years. Like three of the last five or something like that.

[David Sampson]

Four of the last five and that's after winning.

[Jeremy]

But you're holding that up like that should be the standard. We should do that.

[Tony]

Let's try to find organizations failing. That's not the standard that you want. You want consistency? That's, I mean, I mean an organizational reputation has to be part of that, no?

[Stugatz]

Yeah, I think, I think that's one of the things, you know, David, like they said, you're Bringing that up as something supporting your argument. You're actually supporting Jeremy's argument that, like, all these teams are just chickens chasing their. Their. Their tails without their heads cut off. And. And. But the reality is chickens have a tail. Yeah, Chickens have a tail.

[Tony]

Chasing it without the head or with the head.

[Dan LeBatard]

Yo, chickens.

[Stugatz]

There it is.

[Dan LeBatard]

Go ahead, Dan. No one asked me. Now I'm alone again.

[Stugatz]

But, yeah. The point is, there is a value to organizational stability, and when you know that the people doing the job are not. They're not bad at their job. Right. We know that Pat Riley's good at his job.

[John Zaslow]

They know how to do this.

[Stugatz]

We know Eric Spoltra is great at his job. One of the greatest ever. Why are we gonna say, well, someone's gotta go? That's just such a reactionary kind of way. To me, that's kind of where the Phoenix Suns are, where it's just like, it didn't work. Everyone, you get out of here and trade some more people. And all that kind of panicky is why it's not what it should be.

[David Sampson]

I don't think that anyone would say if the Heat move on from one or two of Bam, Tyler, Pat, or Eric that they're being panicky. I just don't think that would be the narrative surrounding those moves.

[Stugatz]

I would say. This is what I would say. The players is a different story, because players, you could say, this player is great and he's done a lot of things for us, but the only way for us to get better is for us to acquire someone else. So in the case of Bam and Tyler and. And Slash or Tyler, if Giannis is on the table, like, you can't be like, oh, but I like Tyler. You gotta go. Because Giannis is something special, something elite, something rare. Right. But when you talk about the personnel who are making decisions, I totally don't believe in just a. Well, it's not working. So you. It's your fault. That doesn't make sense to me. And I think a lot of teams find themselves in a lot more hot water doing that than the teams that succeed because they made Samson.

[Dan LeBatard]

How is it not panicky to run out Riley and trade Tyler Herro? Like you're running Riley out of the organization against his will, is the punctuation on his career.

[David Sampson]

Oh, I'm not. I wouldn't say it's against his will, and that's why I wouldn't say that it would be a firing. Dan. What I said is it's an acknowledgment by the Heat, which are defined as Mickey and Pat and Nick, that it is time to go a different direction with a different voice. And I think that that is what they do. And by the way, Bam Adebayo, if you look at his salary, Jeremy, I believe he has three years left, and it goes like 50, 51, 59 in the last three years of his deal. I hear that you're saying he's all NBA, and I understand there are a lot of overpaid players, but do you have him as that type of player?

[Dan LeBatard]

I mean, the question is, for you, three years, 150 million on Hero. Four years, 210 million.

[Stugatz]

I mean, to me, I lock up Tyler Hero long term, when I feel like the value is going to be delivering. Meaning, where's the salary cap going? What are the deals that are getting signed for guys that are kind of his comps? Can I get value on that? If not, I don't see a need to commit super long term because I want to remain flexible.

[Tony]

But David was also suggesting that Bam Adebayo's contract is not worth it. Now.

[Stugatz]

Bam is absolutely worth it. There's a market for Bam. The reason you don't trade Bam is not because no one wants to give up anything for him. It's because whatever you get back has to be good enough to continue or propagate the organization.

[Tony]

The only way you do that is for something like Giannis.

[Stugatz]

So, yeah, that's it. That's it. So if Giannis comes available, there's no part of me that says, well, not Bam, no, Bam's got to go if that's what gets it done. Because he is of that level. But I don't.

[John Zaslow]

That voice, when you do that, like, who is the impersonation?

[Stugatz]

That's the emotional person. I'm like. But I like my favorite player. I don't want to give him up. Why is he gotta go? Can't we get Giannis and not give up?

[Dan LeBatard]

It's Jeremy, it's a good question. Says it is.

[John Zaslow]

I'm just making sure.

[David Sampson]

Where are you? Is the Heat, though? If you replace Giannis with Bam, you replace Bam with Giannis. You're incremental.

[Dan LeBatard]

You're better.

[Stugatz]

Infinitesimally better.

[Dan LeBatard]

You're better. Well, infinitesimal. Infinitely better. You did that. Don't worry about that.

[Chris Cody]

He's cooking.

[Stugatz]

Let him do it. Infinitely better. I'm gonna tell you why, David, because there's two things. Number one is the simple one that we all recognize. Giannis is a billion times better than Bam. A billion times better. Right. And that's not a knock on Bam. That is respect to.

[Dan LeBatard]

That is a knock.

[Stugatz]

It's not a knock a billion times. A billion times. Dan. Dan. Would you call. Would you call Shaq a wealthy individual? Would you. Would you call Shaq? Okay, Is Bill Gates not a billion times richer than Shaq?

[Roy]

Yeah, but that's not a billion times. No.

[Stugatz]

Wow.

[David Sampson]

What?

[John Zaslow]

Like you could have said twice as good as Bam. You went a billion.

[Stugatz]

He's a billion times better. He's a billion times better. And it's not. It's not a knock on Bam.

[David Sampson]

Bam.

[Dan LeBatard]

It is a knock on.

[Jeremy]

Jeremy called Giannis the second best power forward ever before the show today.

[John Zaslow]

Well, that's wrong.

[Tony]

Yeah, he might be.

[Stugatz]

No. So let's not get sidetracked. Okay? So. So once we start with that, all right, automatically you're better just because you have a. First of all, you have a player that commands the respect of the opponents at all times in a way that right now the Heat don't. Right. Number two, though, and I know where David's going to go. He's like, well, if he's so great, why is Milwaukee where they are? That's a great question. But the answer there is because Milwaukee's front office and Milwaukee's coaching is not as good as Miami's. Miami can find the supporting cast, people. This is what I always see, those.

[John Zaslow]

Guys on the floor with Giannis last night.

[Stugatz]

Yeah. So I'm gonna tell you right now, David, there's. I used to always say this. The easy part is the hard part, and the hard part is the easy part. The easy part is identifying the stars. He's great. Giannis is great. Okay. We can all see that. But the hard part is there's only like three or four of those guys. How do you get them? It's so rare. Then the hard part is the easy part, which is.

[Jeremy]

Oh, wait, is the hard part's the easy part.

[Dan LeBatard]

What?

[John Zaslow]

Easy is hard. Hardest, easy.

[Roy]

Yeah.

[Dan LeBatard]

Guys.

[Stugatz]

Oh, come on.

[David Sampson]

He's cooking.

[Stugatz]

The flip side of that is, right, we say, well, we just got to get the right supporting cast. Well, that should be easy, right? There are millions of these guys everywhere, all these, like, you know, run of the mill basketball players who end up getting mid level deals and all that. There's so much more of them than there are of the Giannis's. Right? Yes, you're right. It's easy. They're everywhere. But it's not because you actually have to do the work to identify, to develop, to give them chances in the right moments to give them in the right situations, and then you get the right supporting cast. Miami is incredible at that.

[Dan LeBatard]

They did it around Jimmy Butler, and while he's not billions times better than Jimmy Butler, he's also a good deal better than Jimmy Butler.

[Stugatz]

And Dan, they've done it throughout the history of this organization. Ike Austin, Vashon Leonard. Right. He's a guy.

[Dan LeBatard]

Billy is so done with all of us. I'm just saying, like, Billy is so done with everyone here.

[Roy]

He's in his.

[Dan LeBatard]

Don't say no.

[Roy]

Well, because Jordan Hudson apparently, according to the Athletic, to blame for Hard Knocks falling apart at North Carolina.

[Dan LeBatard]

Billy had no interest in you guys talking about Pat Riley and all the players he's going to get.

[Roy]

No, I got it. Pat Riley is the greatest of all time. He's never going to leave his job. We got it. And the Heater is just always going to be a seven.

[Stugatz]

And no.

[Dan LeBatard]

And the Heat are always going to get Giannis. You're already doing that after what happened Sunday.

[Roy]

Well, they are going to get.

[Stugatz]

That's the hard part. The easy part is saying Giannis is great. The hard part is getting him.

[Roy]

And the easy part is the hard part. The hard part is the easy part. Dan, come on. I got it. I'm here.

[Tony]

I do think there's an intriguing conversation to be had around what it requires to. To get Giannis, if he is available, because.

[Dan LeBatard]

Oh, sorry. Okay. David, good talking to you. Zazlow's confused by that. That was Chris Cody Tasing Jeremy because he talks too much. Zazlo was legitimately. Zaslo thought an electrical current actually ran through our headsets and that there might have been.

[John Zaslow]

Okay.

[Dan LeBatard]

Shocking of some sort.

[Stugatz]

I thought it was a fart.

[Dan LeBatard]

What? It fart bear.

[Roy]

And then Dan said. I'm sorry. I thought someone farted, too. Honestly, I was confused.

[David Sampson]

We had so much to cover.

[Dan LeBatard]

Dan, I wanted to talk about what's happening with Amazon and the tariffs. Can you give us a quick minute on that? I know it's not a quick, easy minute on that.

[Stugatz]

Say no.

[Dan LeBatard]

Go ahead. You can say no.

[David Sampson]

Give me your best 60 seconds on what's going on in the world.

[Dan LeBatard]

If you want 90, you got three minutes left for that and your review. So you choose.

[David Sampson]

Let me just try to get through this. And there is a real problem with what's happening in the tariffs. Not just me. Economy. What's happening is that companies are trying to figure out they're going to pass on the increased expenses to the customer. We are all going to suffer because of the tariffs. The question is, how do you quantify it? Amazon said, we have an idea. We're going to put the amount of money that these tariffs are increasing the cost of your product, and we're going to put it right there on the page. The White House got word of this and they lost their minds. There was a quick phone call and a quick meeting which said, hey, Jeff, here's an idea. You may want to cancel this plan because we're going to crush you. Because we've lost three legs of the tripod and as the executive branch, we're now in a position where we can make your life miserable. You want tax on the rich? We're going to do it. Then Amazon, 20 minutes later, second statement, hey, that was a division of Amazon. No idea what anyone was talking about. We're not going to identify what the tariffs are doing and the impact they're having on the prices of the products. It was a faster retreat than you saw in the 1700s. And what does it mean? It means that we are now in a place where there is fear that is ruling individuals, corporations, and those who run the corporations. And it will cost us. Make no mistake, the companies that you do business with will not take on the the cost of these tariffs by themselves. They will pass.

[Dan LeBatard]

It is maddening, though, David, to see these people fight where power resides. And the government has more power than the billionaire of the billionaires. And what ends up happening is we all pay for it. I mean, it's really infuriating.

[David Sampson]

It's guaranteed to happen, and you're watching it happen. Right now I have an Amazon package waiting for me and I'm just seeing how expensive the toilet paper is as.

[Dan LeBatard]

Bezos and Musk and Trump just fight over the money.

[Roy]

You Amazon toilet paper?

[David Sampson]

Yes, in bulk.

[Jeremy]

What if I got bad news?

[Dan LeBatard]

What are you reviewing? What are you reviewing?

[David Sampson]

This week I had Meadowlark people, Dan, at the apartment where I'm doing show right now, and they were doing the lights and they said, listen, is there anything you can do about the brown boxes of tissues, toilet paper, Clorox wipes, and paper towels that were in the way of the lights flashing properly off the walls? And I said, hey, it's a New York apartment. There's nothing I can do about it. And they said, and these are great IT people. They said, why do you have so much stuff like, are you worried about the apocalypse? And I said, no, I've always been a bulk guy. I can't deal with the people. There's two types of people. Those who run out of toilet paper and those who don't. And I am one who never runs out of toilet paper.

[Dan LeBatard]

No time for your review. And so that toilet paper is the end of this segment. That is you being wiped from the premise.

[Roy]

Just out of curiosity, what does bulk mean? We talking about how many rolls?

[David Sampson]

At least 200.

[John Zaslow]

Oh, my God.

[Roy]

That.

[David Sampson]

Multiple. Multiple big brown boxes of toilet.

[Dan LeBatard]

You are afraid of running out of toilet paper.

[David Sampson]

I have that with soap. I have it with everything.

[Dan LeBatard]

No, but that's apocalypse.

[Roy]

Your body.

[David Sampson]

You would die.

[Stugatz]

That's.

[Roy]

You would die before you go through 200 rolls of toilet paper.

[Dan LeBatard]

That's apocalypse hoarding.

[David Sampson]

I am a hoarder of products having nothing to do with the pandemic. This was way. I never panicked during the pandemic because I always have supplies ready to roll.

[Roy]

When do you redo low on your 200? Before you reorder.

[David Sampson]

It's a rotate. And when there's a hole in where I store stuff, I refill from the back.

[Stugatz]

That's why there were shortages during the. During the pandemic.

[Dan LeBatard]

I mean, he's the worst.

[Stugatz]

It's him.

[Dan LeBatard]

He's the worst. It was just him. He just. It was just him.

[David Sampson]

It's not just me.

[Billy]

Hey, it's Roy. And at the ripe old age of 40, I'm gearing up to learn how to play hockey. I emphasize ripe old age of 40 because I'm not as young as I used to be. I'm tired all the time, haven't been working out as much. So I'm going to need to build muscle and have the energy to accomplish this goal. What's going to help is this drink that I've been enjoying lately called Huel. It tastes great and has been helping me while exercising. You'll enjoy it too. New customers. Visit hull.comdan today and use my code DAN to get 15% off your first order plus a free gift. The Huell Black Edition Ready to Drink is high in protein with 35 grams. It's low in sugar and it has 27 vitamins and minerals to help build the rest of your body. It's better and cheaper than any cup of coffee. Don't feel like cooking? Grab a bottle of Huel. It tastes great, so you'll definitely love it. Be a new customer today and visit huel.com dan use code dan and you'll get 15% off your first order plus a free gift.

[Chris Cody]

Hey, you in the audience, it's Mike. You've been a fan of this show hopefully for a long time. And you know how much Miller Lite means to me. This partnership, it's real. It's documented. For almost 20 years, Miller Lite has been a partner of the Dan Levittard show with Stugots. And now Miller Lite is celebrating its 50th anniversary. I've had so many great moments with Miller Lite, so many great activations, so many great events presented by Miller Lite. A great partner. Cheers to them. Cheers to 50 incredible years. And for you at home, you know that Miller Time always means a good time. From game night to parties with friends or a special anniversary, celebrating important occasions means more moments with the coolest people in your life. Cheers to 50 years of Miller Light, the great tasting light beer. For people who Love beer since 1975, now's a perfect time to celebrate legendary stories with friends, family, and a great tasting light beer. It's Miller Time. Miller Light. Great taste. 96 calories. Go to millerlight.com dan to find delivery options near you. Or you can pick up some Miller Light pretty much anywhere they sell beer. It's Miller Time. Celebrate responsibly. Miller Brewing Co. Milwaukee, Wisconsin. 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces.