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Dan LeBatard
Welcome to the Big Sui presented by DraftKings. Why are you listening to this show, the podcast that seems very similar to the other Dan LeBatard podcast?
Stugotz
I'm sorry.
Dave Damaschek
I'm not going to apologize for that.
Dan LeBatard
In fact, the only difference seems to be this imaging. I have been tempted in restaurants just walking past tables to grab somebody's fries that if they're just there. That hasn't happened to you guys.
Stugotz
I've done it.
Dan LeBatard
And now here's the marching man to Nowhere Fat Face and the Habitual Liar.
Stugotz
Exciting times here at MetalArk Media. Should mention that our award winning documentary team is at it again. To Rossi. Streaming now on Amazon Prime Video. Just won an Emmy for our Boston Red Sox comeback doc that was on Netflix. This one's on prime and it's circles around one of the greatest basketball players of all time in Diana Taurasi. Haven't had the opportunity to watch it yet, but I'm hearing rave reviews for that. Another Metal Arc project that we can all get excited about is the debut of our new football podcast. Debut of our new football debacle. Dave Damaschek is hosting Football America. I've been a huge fan of Dave Danishek for a very long time. Uh, he did great work covering the NFL. He's a brilliant comedic mind and we're really happy to have him on board. In fact, if you're listening to the show on podcasts right now, you can get the very first episode later today. It's posting later this afternoon on our.
Mina Kimes
Feed and if you're watching on DraftKings Network, you'll actually get during our show a segment of that first show for them later in the hour and it'll.
Stugotz
Be live on YouTube. So let's bring Dave aboard. We. We enjoyed having him in studio last week. Dave, formally welcome to the family. Very exc for you and Football America. What do you have for the audience with your first episode?
Dave Damaschek
We have Mina Kimes. First of all, it's. It's the debut after all. We wanted to. We wanted to come out hot there. It's. It's David Dam Shaq. I love weird pronunciation there, Mike. But yeah, very excited. It's football season. That's reason enough to celebrate. It is now upon us. Yeah, like we talked about a couple of weeks ago, preseason is football's version of Civil War reenactments. They only look real. Except Anthony Richardson. A apparently it was kind of real. Sounds like he's going to be back without any harm. Lot of fun with the. With the Fuentes brothers. Behind the glass on our debut. You got both of them.
Stugotz
There's another one.
Dan LeBatard
There's two of those things. How did you mention Nina first?
Dave Damaschek
Mike and Gino. Gino and Mike combining. They have the con and are delightful in this first episode. Spoiler. We recorded it last night, so we already know how it goes. And I dare say maybe I'm biased. I thought it was plum delightful because like, you guys were just doing, I just listened to the first half hour of the show and I was over the moon. Just. Just made me feel a little less dorky. Football, football, football.
Dan LeBatard
Let's cover it about the Lions anymore. I got you. Like you can eliminate that.
Dave Damaschek
Honolulu. Is he. Your reputation precedes you. Is it. Is it Honolulu, Izzy? Or is he Honolulu? Either way, I'm sure they're excited to have you on board, but yeah, that's me and Mina Kimes, basically. We have a lot of fun around it. And then we dork out for about 20 and the hot pudding.
Dan LeBatard
Izzy. Honolulu is definitely my stripper name.
Dave Damaschek
That's Gino.
Stugotz
That's a Fuentes.
Dave Damaschek
That's a Fuentes right there.
Stugotz
They've been brothers this whole time. How about that? By the way, debut is perfectly acceptable. It's not exactly tomato, tomato, but I digress.
Dave Damaschek
Debut.
Stugotz
And also, I'm never gonna learn how to spell Honolulu. It's just one of those words. I'll lean on my phone to figure it out.
Dave Damaschek
Why is that? Why is that one tricky for you? That's weird. I might switch the station right now over to the Shark and catch what Joe wrote. It says, by the way, is Joe Rose. It can't be that big a coincidence in the same region of football America that you guys are talking about Joe Rose talking about this. It has to be the iconic.
Stugotz
Do you know the bit of trivia. Do you know the trivia around Joe Rose? Why he's such a local luminary?
Dave Damaschek
I mean, I. Is it because of the game that we talked about the last time I jumped in from this spot a couple of weeks ago when we talked about the greatest game of all time. The Dolphins and Chargers, AKA the Bavarian place kicker showdown between Ralph Banerka and Uwe von Shaman. Is it that game? He scores a couple touchdown. Did Joe Rose in that one?
Stugotz
His local claim to fame was he caught Damarino's first ever touchdown.
Dave Damaschek
Ah, well, he was. He was instrumental when Don Strock replaced David Woodley in the. In that game against Air Coriel down there in the.
Stugotz
He parlayed that. That football career of his to become a South Florida institution. News anchor, a sports anchor for the local NBC affiliate, and then spokesperson. The, the greatest pitch man, when it came to AM radio, you wanted a live read that would make you buy anything from air conditioning to a car. Yeah, he's doing low T ads. I'm like, that's how I've aged. Like Joe Rose. He's like. And he's like.
Dave Damaschek
But I believe him.
Stugotz
Yeah, yeah. He's like, you'll have friends that tell you they don't have Ed. They're lying. All right, like, I knew it. How.
Dave Damaschek
What is the payout of, of those ads? You know, the, the most intriguing one in my mind. Actually, you guys are pretty familiar with him. His, his sequel to the Cowboys thing was to go to the Dolphins. Jimmy Johnson. This is a guy who, millions of dollars as a head coach for the U and otherwise. Then the Cowboy, the Dolphins, then he's making a ton of bank doing the Fox pregame show. And amidst all that, he starts doing ads for extends for, for his wiener. And his thing is, and his, and his big thing is like, I got. Everywhere I go, people come up to.
Dan LeBatard
Me and say he wouldn't need extends.
Stugotz
Big thing that.
Dan LeBatard
Well, right.
Dave Damaschek
If it were. But I mean, what was going on in Jimmy Johnson's life that he needed to do that ad campaign? They're like, people, let me tell you, I've tried it. It works like, oh my God.
Stugotz
There was one commercial where he was in like a full NASCAR tracksuit and buy an extends car.
Dan LeBatard
I gotta believe, like he just had a situation in the bedroom and it hit him like nothing else. And he felt empathy for all other, you know, middle aged to older men in the world. And he said this, this might be my calling.
Stugotz
So it wasn't the cash. No, no, those, those are effective.
Dan LeBatard
Cash is available everywhere. I think is what Dave's trying to say. Like he would have been able to sponsor any sort of item and it would have been better than extensive.
Mina Kimes
Well, no, I mean, because his last name is Johnson.
Stugotz
I didn't even consider that. But you know, there's there, there are effective pitch men like Jimmie Johnson because there's, you know, Joe the plumber sitting on his couch saying, well, if it can happen to Jimmy Johnson, that's what, that's what works so much with Frank Thomas. Like, well, if it's happening to the big hurt, it's definitely going to happen.
Izzy
I mean, Doug Body.
Stugotz
Yeah, well, the weird one, the weird.
Dave Damaschek
One in those ads every time, the one when they're out on the Driving range.
Stugotz
Fl.
Dave Damaschek
Flutie and Frank Thomas are out there, and the one guy, they're telling the one guy, I mean, you gotta try this. And the ladies will like it, too. And he's clearly with his wife. And your wife will, you know, she'll like it, too, but the wife has a friend with her, and she makes eyes at the husband, and the ladies will like it, too, and she kind. Look, watch the ad. It's disturbing. What are you doing? We're not.
Dan LeBatard
This.
Dave Damaschek
This doesn't involve you at all.
Dan LeBatard
Yeah, because I'm sure that's the conversation guys have everywhere. Just little private conversations about their ed. And it's just like.
Stugotz
Oh, trust me. I think if you get older, you're more open to open relationships and swinging generally.
Dave Damaschek
Guys, are you feeling. Are you feeling Honolulu Blue down there? Hey, is he Honolulu here?
Stugotz
And let me.
Dave Damaschek
Yeah, that kind of thing. That might be interesting.
Izzy
Trademarked.
Dan LeBatard
I feel like you were just wanting to go there, to just talk about.
Stugotz
Well, that's why. That's why.
Dave Damaschek
Wind up to that.
Stugotz
That's why there's so much VD in the villages. We actually have. That's a clip of a Joe Rose livery. But, Dave, I want you to hear the maestro at work. Or Stan would say maestro. See, like, debut. Joe Rose, an iconic pitch man. This was him doing an ad for a local South Florida sports bar.
Dave Damaschek
Mmm, that's good.
Dan LeBatard
Big, juicy cheeseburgers. A Philly chicken.
Dave Damaschek
Mmm, that's good.
Dan LeBatard
Onions.
Dave Damaschek
Mmm.
Dan LeBatard
Mushrooms.
Dave Damaschek
Mmm.
Dan LeBatard
It's good.
Stugotz
Excuse me, can I have a side order of. Mmm. Can I get some blue cheese with it?
Dan LeBatard
I like to dip my thick in.
Stugotz
That blue cheese they have there.
Dave Damaschek
Hey.
Stugotz
Oh, you want some pasta and seafood dishes with fresh fish?
Dave Damaschek
It's good.
Stugotz
So good. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Dan LeBatard
There is nothing like a thick.
Dave Damaschek
That was unedited, Dave.
Stugotz
That's. Yeah. There was a promo code afterwards. There was. That was the only thing.
Dave Damaschek
That was sweet. Hell was. That was grotesque. I mean, that really. That bordered on creepy. Like Jimmy Johnson talking about the size of his weed.
Dan LeBatard
That's ASMR right there. Man. I could fall asleep to that.
Stugotz
Fresh fish. Like, just the saliva dripping out of his mouth. That is some succulent fresh fish that they have at that establishment. Fresh cod.
Dave Damaschek
I'm just so glad. The reason we can have this conversation and laugh about it is because now we don't. We'll never find any of ourselves. We'll never find ourselves having to make ads like that because we're going to ride the money we make from Danny Dimes, mvp Attaboy.
Izzy
Attaboy.
Stugotz
That's right. Well, Dave, do you have any futures that you're looking at that are some deep value? I ventured golf to lead the league and interceptions are all sorts of kitschy little props here with big time. Well, you let me know after your investigation, after you canvass the Lions. But I'm curious, you're a man that knows his bets. Any deep value picks out there for the listening audience and can we expect more of that on Football America?
Dave Damaschek
Yes, we. The short answer is yes. We'll be going over those over and under. We'll figure out the best bets to make between now and the start of the season. But in the meantime, the perennial best bet, and I sincerely mean this, and I have been my, I have expressed cynicism already on this very show about Mike Tomlin and what's going on there. But the best bet available every year is the Steelers over their season win total. It's an eight and a half. No matter how sideways things get with Aaron Rodgers or whatever else happens there. Cam Hayward now holding in. So is the place kicker, Chris Boswell. It doesn't matter. They're definitely going to get to it. Minimum nine wins. Mike Tomlin is the greatest floor raiser of the millennium. So that's a great bet to start. The, the, the pessimistic one, the overarching pessimistic bet to make is, and I think you can check out and verify that this is true. If you bet every running backs under, say the top 25 guys on the list, you will win. You will land in the black if you bet they're under because injuries happen. Saquon Barkley, you guys were talking about him already. The, the marvelous 2024 season. You know, his, his best rushing total to that point was 1300 yards. He's going to go under there and Vegas agrees with me. If you take a Look, go on DraftKings and see what number they have there. It's somewhere right around there. And you think, oh my God, this is easy money. No, it's not. Based on his history, he's likely to go under, as is every other human being who has to carry the ball. That requires 300 pound guys who are very fast to run at him and hit him on purpose. So the likelihood that you're going to sit down and not make your game rushing total is likely. That, that even though it's. I hate the guy who walks up to the craps table, there's no one worse. That's a, that's a team event. To get in there and root for the point to be made. The guy who stands up there and does the no pass line, punch that guy in the face. He's.
Dan LeBatard
He's the worst off my table.
Stugotz
So.
Dave Damaschek
So I don't. I mean, yeah. Do you understand what we're trying to do here, friend? You know, get on board or get the hell out. You're saying this is the football equivalent of that kind of. It is, it is, but it's still, I have to say, I don't like, shout it too loudly because it's. Because it expresses a glass half full view. And you can at least do that quietly though. The craps guy is in front of your face being like, I'm ready for all of you to lose. At least this bet I can make in the privacy of my own.
Stugotz
Gotta be honest, I'm not liquid enough to take all those unders and wait several months.
Dave Damaschek
$5 on each.
Stugotz
Why do that when I can take Lions Falcons preseason week one and then I'll apply it after I win those.
Dan LeBatard
Speaking of Lions, I got a couple early ones on my Lions research here, Dave, to throw at you. Jameer Gibbs plus 1400 to lead the league in rushing. And Aiden Hutchinson is actually the lead favorite. Plus 500 to lead the league in sacks. How good are those bets?
Dave Damaschek
I like the Hutchinson one a little bit better, I do think. I mean, situationally, you have. Your team has to have the lead in the second half. I mean, people maybe overstate that a little bit, but that is the formula for a pass rusher to get an extra few sacks over the course of the 17 games. I think the Lions, like you guys were talking about in. It's going to be a slow burn for them.
Dan LeBatard
Don't go too deep.
Dave Damaschek
Yeah, well, okay. I don't want to. What I refer to is in the copycat league, the, the, the. The shortcut to the front of the line is to get the guy at QB in the draft. That's what happened with the commies with Jaden Daniels. They were a punchline. They got Jaden Daniels and voila, they're in the title game. The, the slower burn is to do it at the line of scrimmage. And that's how you have a more enduring playoff is to. Is to load up like the Eagles have. And so now in the copycat league, it seems like a lot of teams are trying to adopt that model. And the Detroit Lions are pretty deep down the path with that. Here's the problem. They're remaking the offensive line to a degree Two key pieces gone from there. Izzy. That's a big one for a team that likes to grind you up on the ground. So I don't love the the Gibbs bet specifically. Going over and look at what happened in the in between year to the Philadelphia Eagles. Who the Lions are kind of sort of modeled after is they go to the Super Bowl. Then their coordinators leave that when they kind of over the course of the season. It wasn't week one that they were a different team. It was slowly but surely they dropped off. Remember how how bad it got for the Eagles in between those two Super Bowls. I think that's what what the Lions are going to be this year.
Dan LeBatard
I think all you're telling me there's a lot to cover there for me. A lot of space for me to just kind of get in there and tackle all these issues. I like my choice better than the Bengals.
Dave Damaschek
I would say surviving Ben Johnson. That is that that's the other big thing is the the clever offensive mind has now transcended the guy at the trigger. Ben Johnson was more important than Jared Goff and I think that's going to be revealed over the course of these 17 games upcoming.
Izzy
Dave Speaking of Ben Johnson. Is everything going to be fixed now in Chicago or is there going to be a bit of a learning curve with Caleb Williams? With DJ Moore, with Romo Dunze. Them trying to get into the Ben John and figure things out?
Dave Damaschek
I bet it'll take a minute. But they're way better off than they were at this time last year when everybody was singing songs like how can Caleb Williams miss. The Bears have created the greatest situation for a rookie QB of all time. Except everybody ignored the fact that they didn't have a coaching staff. But but but the players are good now. They have Ben Johnson. I think the Bears are are are going to be frisky and I think they're going to be a good team this year. I'm I'm a believer when you guys were going through that list. Isn't it? It's a weird place if you do season win totals right now. I have a hard time talking myself out of almost any team making the playoffs. I agree. The Saints are going to be a bum team. The Browns are going to be bad. But how many teams can you definitely say to yourself like I can't make a case that that team might be playoff? Jake I disagree about the Colts. I think the Colts. I can talk myself into the Colts.
Stugotz
AFC South.
Dave Damaschek
That's beyond the also your old pal Vic Fangio didn't work out with the Dolphins, but then he went up there with the Eagles and, you know, was transformative. Lou Anarumo, who was with the Bungles, and he wasn't loaded up with pieces, but those were some decent defenses he put out there when they went to the super bowl and almost went to the super bowl the following season. Now he lands in Indy and again, there's some nice Colts pieces there, the way they're structured. Isn't it time for Steichen to arrive? I know it'll has everything to do with what Anthony Richardson does or doesn't do, but Jonathan Taylor and what should be a good defense in that division. I mean, I absolutely could see that team winning the division.
Dan LeBatard
Anthony Richardson ain't it. There's my Colts analysis. I just don't think he's got it.
Stugotz
You're Honolulu Izzy copyright. That's claim to yours. And also you should pivot. Everybody's talking about Ben Johnson. You should be. I'm worried about the Aaron Glenn situation. That's another way that you get aggregated and we continue to build this.
Mina Kimes
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Stugotz
Boom.
Mina Kimes
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Izzy
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Dan LeBatard
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Stugotz
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Dan LeBatard
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Dave Damaschek
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Dan LeBatard
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Izzy
I think I would have been on his side.
Stugotz
I would have looked at you like, what did you say?
Dave Damaschek
I'm telling you, me and my friend, the rest of the way home, all we kept saying was, I ain't cheating stuff.
Dan LeBatard
I think he got your ass.
Dave Damaschek
I got his way. Chris.
Mina Kimes
Chris won this one for sure.
Dave Damaschek
Not that.
Izzy
Jeremy.
Mina Kimes
It was great.
Dave Damaschek
This is the Dan Levatar show with the Stugats.
Stugotz
Very excited for football America today. You're a Sealers guy. You're a Pittsburgh guy. Your hat says Crosby Backhand. Roy hasn't been able to look at the monitor once.
Dave Damaschek
Come on, Roy. Isn't it nice? Happy belated birthday, right? To the guy who saved hockey.
Stugotz
No, saved hockey. He didn't save hockey.
Dave Damaschek
I've. I mean, we've already had this discussion, right? I mean, like, come on, he and Ovechkin saved the sport, at least as we know it. It would be some fringy thing down there with lacrosse if it weren't for 87 and. And. And the great eight. What they did in the early portion of this millennium saved the game. Don't forget the dead puck era and the lockout and all that stuff. We got back before it was even 2010 thanks to those two. Yeah, still. Still the two most luminous stars. And both, they've won cups at least. Unlike McJesus. Right?
Stugotz
Yeah. Well, it would have helped back then if the league actually showcased more to players instead of just two or especially just one, Cindy Crosby.
Dave Damaschek
But who did you want them? Who did you want from your team for them to be?
Stugotz
Jonathan Chichu? Do you want to choo choo highlighted? We only had David Booth for us during that era, although we do have a David Booth highlight. Actually. Can we cue that up real quick? There's a great goal call while video tries to cue that up. I want to talk to Dave real quick about Aaron Rodgers footwork because Terry Bradshaw, he said that Aaron Rodgers is some of the worst footwork that he's ever seen. And I saw video from camp and it looked like Ben Roethlisberger moving around in the pocket. Aaron Rodgers got really slow.
Dan LeBatard
Wait, that's a bad thing, right?
Stugotz
It's not. It's not great because he's not the size of Aaron Rodgers. And this was a guy that, I mean, he had it all. He was so athletic, could scramble out of the pocket. You see him doing these cone drills, moving around in the pocket. You're like, okay, I guess running is out for Aaron Rodgers. He's 40 years old off an Achilles injury. I guess it makes sense. But are you concerned over there or were you feeling nostalgic and happy? Like, oh, Tomlin's got his quarterback again. This guy can barely move around in the pocket now.
Dave Damaschek
I don't know how nostalgia plays in here with someone else's legend. So it was okay because the Vikings were sad and desperate and so they were willing to accept the guy who had tormented them for a decade and a half if it equaled a trip to the super bowl with Brett Favre. I'm a Steelers fan. I'm not nearly so desperate. I know Mike Tomlin is desperate to get off the playoff. Windlass Schneide. That has run way too long now. So anyway, nostalgia doesn't play in here.
Stugotz
I mean, he's moving around like Big Ben.
Dave Damaschek
I hear you. And you know, the thing with it makes me think of the Frank Gore paradox, which is that Frank Gore. Yes. Like, why is he still so good, as old as he is? It's because he never relied on high end athleticism relative to the position. Like Chris Johnson as a, for. As a, as a home run hitter or Jamal Charles. You know, once Chris Johnson's top end speed went away, so did he from, from being a big factor in the NFL. Frank Gore never had that high end speed to lose, so he was fine. It's the same thing as Brady and Peyton and breeze pocket bound QBs who never relied on quick twitch athleticism. Aaron Rodgers it has always been all about, get that, that. That gentle roll out to the right and throwing on the move and all of that. If he's a tick slow with that, that's obviously going to affect how he plays. And it's a funny thing, you know, it's. It's like heavyweight boxers. The. The lament that has gone on for as long as I've lived at least is like, why don't they know when it's time to go? That that is the. The blind spot of a lot of athletes. And I think Russell Wilson saw it. We saw it last year. They don't know that they're a tick slower. They don't feel that I is. The only thing I can think is that they think that the ghost of themselves can still make the play that they were able to make a half a decade ago and it's no longer available.
Dan LeBatard
I don't understand what you mean by that.
Stugotz
On football America, are you required to talk about Micah Parsons?
Dave Damaschek
Well, here's. Here's how we talked about it. Me and the fellows batted this one around. We did some what the f transactions, and I'll throw this one at you. Now, these are. These are, of course, fictional traits, but they're fun to talk about. I think that it kind of highlights the value of a guy beyond just his immediate football situation. Dallas Cowboys offer Micah Parsons to the Philadelphia Eagles for Saquon Barkley. Who says, no, I like this game.
Stugotz
Ooh, I think Philadelphia says no. I do.
Dave Damaschek
I don't. I don't think so. I don't think so. Howie Roseman is the not secret sauce of the Eagles, and he's smart enough to know that you would want to have Micah Parsons versus a guy who has, despite Derrick Henry and ironically Despite Saquon Barkley, 2024 understands that the running back is more replaceable than a piece like, than Micah Parsons would be for your defense.
Dan LeBatard
On the other side, Jerry Jones will fall in love with the COVID athlete, the big.
Dave Damaschek
That's exactly. Izzy gets it exactly right. Izzy sees that he's not just all Honolulu, as I see.
Stugotz
He knows.
Dave Damaschek
He knows all about football. That's exactly right. You know, Jerry Jones would be like, the keys would be jangling like, ding, ding, ding, ding. Oh, a fancy running back. I like him. Get him in here. I blew it with Derek Hendry last year.
Stugotz
That would be the biggest trade in NFL history. It's rare that you have star for star. We got it this offseason. I mean, depending on what you think about Jalen Ramsey and Minka Fitzpatrick at this stage in Jalen Ramsey's career. But that was a big deal. You don't typically see that. We saw the Clinton Portis, Champ Bailey one, not really a player for player type of league. You don't see that and you certainly don't see it in the, the division.
Dave Damaschek
Well, I, it does seem though like we get more trades than we used to a decade ago in season two. And, and it kind of operates almost like the NBA or I mean, I guess the, the three major sports leagues now, the NFL is a little bit more like them, which is as the trade deadline approaches and you're talking about Tyree Kill maybe getting moved around then, you didn't used to see that. You know, 25 years ago, guys just didn't move in season. And it was one of, one of those things. Same thing is like, well, you could never have a running quarterback in the NFL that would never work. The guys are too fast on defense for that to ever work. And then somebody did it and they're like, oh, I guess, I guess we've been wrong this whole time about that. Yeah, I think that, I think it's one of those kind of things. The. Oh, here's another one for you. Another what? The F. Trade for you. Aaron Rodgers. Right now, contracts are as they exist. Aaron Rodgers for Geno Smith. Ooh, Nina and I talked about this one.
Stugotz
This one's interesting because I think Tom Brady, the Tom Brady, Aaron Rodgers dynamic with Tom Brady in that front office, I think he signs off on the move. Geno's still got some good ball left, I think.
Dan LeBatard
You think Tom Brady signs off on the move or does Tom Brady want to be the only guy who left his team and then won on a one year situation? Because obviously he didn't do it last year, Aaron. But he could still salvage things if he wins a Super bowl with the Steelers.
Stugotz
That's an interesting thing. Like would Tom Brady wants that. Tom Brady's more present now, at least during camp. But it's going to be a little weird when he has to step back a little bit because he's still calling football games. I'm curious to hear what Mina and Dave say about this on Football America. You want to give us a little spoiler and then we can tune in for the nuance?
Dave Damaschek
Well, it shouldn't be that. If you know Mina Kimes, you know she likes her Geno Smith. So do I. I mean this was the perfect bridge quarterback to get you to 2026 without the, without the headache and all the soap Opera on the side. You just get Geno Smith in there for about the same amount of money. Then you have him next year to help out with whoever you draft in the first round. And you're right as rain there. Yens, you didn't have to bother with this Aaron Rodgers nonsense. Now it's embarrassing for us.
Stugotz
Don LeBatard, in terms of Heat fans, you're the most irrational of us right now. What's the pivot?
Dave Damaschek
Rational stug. I don't hear your voice.
Dan LeBatard
Your voice. If I were making a cartoon thing that was meant to symbolize irrational, that's the voice I would give him.
Dave Damaschek
Higher premise. This is the Dan Levatar show with the Stugats.
Stugotz
Roy, we talked about who you wanted the league to highlight and put a big old spotlight on during the time of 87, 8 doing their thing and rescuing the league. I was the first lockout. I was working with the Florida Panthers at the time. And there was the star back then. I think probably the biggest American hockey star that the franchise had to that moment was David Booth. I don't know if Dave Damasczak remembers David Booth, but I know he's a big time puckhead and that's one of those random polls that might put a smile on people's face. David Booth is out here still doing it. Well, not out here. He's way out there down under. He's in Australia and playing in the professional Australian league and he is absolutely bossing this league. And we have a highlight here.
Dave Damaschek
But he's been picked off now by Erdogan. Erdogan trying to work his way through.
Dan LeBatard
The Brisbane defence will drop past the Booth.
Dave Damaschek
No way. You cannot do that. That has got to be the goal of the season.
Dan LeBatard
That's unbelievable.
Stugotz
This is nor doing things just when you need it.
Dave Damaschek
Just when things are looking the other way.
Stugotz
It is a bad man doing bad things. That is a great call. David Booth should have probably had the spotlight. I'm going to be tuning into the Australian Hockey League a little bit if you get me more. David Booth, is he the MVP of this league right now? Is this like MLS when Zlatan came over? Roy, I can't expect that the defense is. I mean, you're pulling out hockey shows.
Dave Damaschek
Roy, is he the mvp? Answer the question.
Stugotz
I haven't paid attention to Austria hockey. Like I didn't even know they had a legal. Well, now you do because it's David Booth and you're a big David Booth guy. Did David Booth. I saw that score, by the way. It was 8 to 7, wide open league over there. Did David Booth did that indeed. Put a smile on your face there, Dave Damaschek?
Dave Damaschek
Of course it did. And of course David Booth benefits from the fact that four people in Australia know how to skate and so that it makes it a little bit easier to wend your way through things. I imagine they're the same number of hockey players in Australia as these United States have. Have bobsledders or losers. I've always contended that any of us, if we, if we decided to do it, could make the luge team tomorrow just by announcing we're on it. Because how many. How many other people out there are willing to do that?
Stugotz
You know, I think Tony's going to think that he can be an Olympic. We did it level loser. Remember? We did lose. No, we did do the bobsled and we had the best time out of like the normies. We did really well. Yeah. On an Olympic course.
Dave Damaschek
I hated. I hated that.
Stugotz
Oh yeah.
Izzy
Chris was there.
Stugotz
I was in like, I was way in the. It was me.
Izzy
You juju. I think in our.
Dave Damaschek
What a three man sled fit in there?
Dan LeBatard
No, I was with.
Dave Damaschek
It was very tight. It was with me.
Stugotz
I mean, the entire time I was just thinking, we're gonna flip over and our heads are gonna hit the ice the way that did to the Jamaican bobsled.
Dave Damaschek
And we're gonna have to carry our.
Stugotz
We're gonna have to carry. And then Lewis would be there clapping. But no, didn't happen because we actually killed the assignment.
Dave Damaschek
The low leverage middle reliever. I always thought, like, that's gotta be the breeziest gig in sports is like, you know, like we're down seven to three. Just put him in to fill the next two or three innings. Guy must be a great spot to get paid six or seven figures. But we have, in this world, we have the bobsled and you get medals. They hand out medals for the, for the team that does the best with this. So you have the guy who steers it and then you have the guy behind who runs it and like, you know, he provides, rides the force and like then he jumps in and he rides along in the back. Why then do we have a completely different one with two more cats riding along? What are they doing? I mean, the guy in the back we've already seen. Our eyes tell us that you can make that bobsled thing go with the guy steering it in the front with just one guy. What are the other two guys do?
Dan LeBatard
Those middle folks, what do they do.
Dave Damaschek
They just ride along the pushers, and then at the end they get medals if they do well. And if the steer guy and the guy in the back does well enough stuff, those two guys who just ride along for it, they get medals too. There's the pilot, the brake man and the pushers.
Stugotz
So I guess they're just there for the beginning launch. You're in luck.
Dave Damaschek
But the brake man already shows us that he can do, he can multitask, he can push, and then. And then he'll break.
Stugotz
Yeah.
Dave Damaschek
What are you two doing? Junior Bevel and Yule Brenner, the best pushers of all time.
Dan LeBatard
Yo, Brenner, there's a guy associated with the show that's very good on this sport, you know. Right?
Stugotz
Who?
Dave Damaschek
Who?
Dan LeBatard
Tim Reynolds. Oh, that covers it for our nation.
Stugotz
Shadow band. Shadow band. Tim Reynolds. The best pushers push a T1 half.
Dan LeBatard
Clearly.
Stugotz
Yeah, yeah. Dave, we can tune in to expect a different nuance take on Micah Parsons fantasy trades. I remember we've talked about it before. You did your ten foot pole, so I'm sure you've got a lot of interesting benchmarks.
Dave Damaschek
We debut our version of the Hawkeye technology that determines first downs. Now we have our vers version of that that we debut. We show Mina Kime super bowl picks at debut as as pavement album covers. So we have, we have fun in this first episode.
Dan LeBatard
Speaking of ten foot pole, let me know when Jon Hamm is a guest on the show, please.
Dave Damaschek
I think, I think next week. I think next week.
Stugotz
That's a big time, people.
Dave Damaschek
Jon Ham will join us.
Stugotz
Yes. All right, so football America again, subscribe to that feed, but if you want to give it a try, it'll show up on our DLS audio feeds wherever it is you find your podcasts, Apple Spotify, all the industry leaders and it'll be be live on YouTube premiering on DKN later today around 6 o' clock Eastern, 3 o' clock Pacific. Dave, we're really excited to have you aboard. Thank you for helping out today on the show and we will talk to you soon, brother.
Dave Damaschek
Oh, I'm over the moon. Thanks so much, Izzy. Just real quick, consider Cam Ward's Titans. That's the better long term investor.
Dan LeBatard
I can't. That's Mike's. That's Mike's team.
Stugotz
Yeah, it is my team. Oh, one thing before you go, like the recipe for a shock playoff team. I put a future on on Tennessee to make the playoffs. They have the makings. Bill Callahan there to address the offensive line that everybody's worried about Kim woods.
Dave Damaschek
Played a lot of football.
Stugotz
Those guys that have played a ton of football games come into the league and they perform well live arm. I know that this is a place that wide receivers go to die and they may have two of them in Calvin Ridley and Tyler Lockett. But you also look at a weak division when you're trying to prognosticate who can be a shock playoff team. Titans have that thing going for them. I think a lot of people are going to be facing off against Tennessee in their survivor pools week one because Denver is an established he's got it covered.
Dan LeBatard
He's got the Titans.
Stugotz
I get it but let me get a recipe there.
Dave Damaschek
I happen to agree and again you have amnesia. If you have already forgotten what just happened with the Washington commies, you can turn your nose up like the Titans. What because they drafted Cam Ward?
Stugotz
Yeah.
Dave Damaschek
Look at what Jaden Daniels did and how he transformed that punchline of a franchise in one season. Why couldn't Cam Ward do that? That he certainly can. The only thing that scares me is choose your adventure. Glass half empty, glass half full. Cam Ward 62220 as he comes out of the U. Steve McNair, first round draft pick of the Tennessee Titans franchise 62220 here's the problem. Jake Locker 62220 wow. So again, glass half empty, glass half full. I happen to lean Mike's way there. I think that that the Aaron Rodgers story and The Browns having 290 quarterbacks and all of that has added and oh, the draft class of 26 is better than this one is has all added up to somehow us collectively not talking about the reigning Heisman Trophy winner landing in Nashville, Tennessee. I think he's going to be great and I think the Titans are going to be a little bit better than people expect. I don't know if they're going to win the division or anything but I'm riding with with with Mike there. Just give it some thought, Izzy. Give it some thought. Bandwagon. Don't you want to be at the crabs table cheering for the same number as Mike?
Dan LeBatard
I can't go against the bucket. The bucket has decided I am Honolulu Izzy.
Stugotz
Yeah, you're not baby blue. You're Honolulu Blue. Izzy. We want to respect Travis Hunter, the actual Heisman Trophy winner, but came over as Eisman Trophy finalist and what separates.
Dave Damaschek
Oh yeah, I'm not a the show's not a college football show. It's an NFL show.
Stugotz
Why would I know who won the.
Dan LeBatard
High I was like oh yeah, what.
Stugotz
Separates Cameron Ward from Jake Locker is a proof of concept. You've actually seen Cameron Ward come into a team and change the program around. Like you saw him with Miami and Jake Locker. I mean, that one never made sense. I don't even. It's not even like he had this incredible size that the scouts would fall in love with. He wasn't a winner in college. I never really got that.
Dan LeBatard
Here's the thing that. That scares me about Cam Orden. Tell me if my eyes were lying about this. I know. You just said he's got a great arm. Seems to like to lob a lot of balls like that. That's. That scares the hell out of me.
Stugotz
In the NFL, he does fall in love a little bit with the arm angles and holding onto the ball a little too long. And I know Bill Callahan's there, but that offensive line will kind of beat it into him in terms of getting rid of the ball a little bit quicker. But it's a gift and a curse. One thing that from being out of practice, Carson Beck, a very different quarterback than Cam Ward, very decisive, knows where he's going with the ball. And at practice, even in fall camp, Cam Ward liked to improvise and drift back. And I don't know if he's going to be able to have that luxury at Tennessee, but I'm going to be locked in week one, because if you want someone to blow up a survivor pool, it might be the Tennessee Titans. Dave, we look forward to having you more on the show. We love having you here in the Metal Arc family. Look forward to hearing and watching Football America all season long. Thank you for joining us.
Dave Damaschek
Thanks. Joe Rose definitely did not win the Heisman. Goodbye and thank you.
Stugotz
He was a cow guy, though.
Dan LeBatard
Still thick.
Stugotz
Yeah. He's a Cam Ward guy and a cow guy. 2am that Saturday, that fateful Saturday, I imagine he was a house divided over there.
Dave Damaschek
The owner of Callahan Auto Parts is in Tennessee.
Stugotz
No. The greatest offensive line coach. There was another dildo. Oh. But this time the authorities got involved. And this time it was pink.
Dan LeBatard
Hmm.
Stugotz
I gotta be honest. They don't have the Caitlin Clark storyline that they had last year because it was a novelty and she was red hot with momentum. I've told you, I'm one of the bravest sports personalities out there. Media space that will tell you to your face. I don't watch it, don't care for it. I do love women's basketball. I go to every Miami Hurricanes women's basketball game. I donate to that program. But WNBA doesn't do anything for me. I don't have a team here. I don't have a Miami Hurricanes player in the league that I can root for. And over the summer, I just decide, eh, I can do without that sport. But I'm into this dildo thing. I like it. I think it's fun, funny.
Dan LeBatard
Now stop right there.
Stugotz
I know why it's dangerous, what makes it funny. It's a dildo, and the dildo is a sex toy. And it's inappropriate to throw onto the court.
Dan LeBatard
Okay.
Stugotz
I think that this is a good thing. And I wouldn't be surprised if the league is actually behind.
Dan LeBatard
So the first time. The first time you see a dildo get lobbed onto the floor, you're like, ha, That's a sex toy that's not supposed to be there. Is that the end of your.
Stugotz
I was actually the other way the first time I saw that. I'm like, this is inappropriate because I have to say this. Otherwise Jeremy would jump down my neck. Like, this is super inappropriate. I'm like, oh, it's a bad, bad thing. And then the second dildo arrived, I'm like, okay, this is starting to be funny a little bit. And then they all started being neon green.
Dave Damaschek
I'm like, okay, it's a funny color.
Stugotz
This is a coordinated effort. Neon green dildos. That is wild. And now they're trying to stop the dildos from being thrown. And I'm like, look, my algo is definitely gamed to this dildo throwing thing in the wnba. This is how I can follow the sport. And quite frankly, it's the only storyline in this league I'm paying attention to.
Mina Kimes
If anything, that only proves the point of why I doing the voice on behalf of women.
Stugotz
Why do you do the condescending voice?
Mina Kimes
Because I'm here to be the condescending liberal asshole.
Dan LeBatard
That's.
Mina Kimes
Isn't that my job?
Stugotz
No. Like, I haven't seen the Mark Maron special yet.
Dave Damaschek
You get paid.
Stugotz
Mark Maron is. Is brilliant, but he's making the rounds. But I did see a clip like, we gotta. We gotta lighten up as progressives a little bit. We literally like, no, I get America pretty fascism. Okay, so somebody think of the children are real.
Mina Kimes
Are we allowed to just say pretty disrespectful women?
Stugotz
Yeah, it's.
Mina Kimes
But this is just disrespectful toward women.
Stugotz
Look, I didn't have against equality, but you're not sounding like an ally right now. This happens at Bill's games. And it was funny back then. And for you to come out and say that it's not funny because there are women on the court. That is, that you're not going to like that. You're saying it's not funny specifically because of someone's gender. And I am.
Mina Kimes
Cartman is Charlie Kirk right Now, did.
Stugotz
You think it was funny when it.
Mina Kimes
Was at Bill's games doing one thing as a tradition at one stadium?
Stugotz
Well, this is how tradition starts, I would say.
Dave Damaschek
No, no, no.
Mina Kimes
No throwing dildos at women who are playing a professional sport league that is also predominantly full of gay women.
Stugotz
It's.
Mina Kimes
There's all sorts of undertones here, man.
Dan LeBatard
Like update the story really quickly because this doesn't get more 20, 25 than what I'm about to read to you.
Dave Damaschek
Right?
Dan LeBatard
Because we think this is funny because somebody decided Dildo on the floor.
Stugotz
Haha.
Dan LeBatard
All right, so Katie Barnes wrote a story on ESPN.com a self described cryptocurrency enthusiast told ESPN that he is part of a group that orchestrated recent sex toy stunts that have disrupted at least three WNBA games in the past 10 days. The man, who spoke on the condition of anonymity over video conference Wednesday, said the stunts were meant to market a crypto coin that his online community created. The WNBA and all its controversy, he said, made the league a logical target.
Stugotz
Crypto, bro.
Dan LeBatard
How does that make sense?
Stugotz
Is there a meme coin that's a lime green dildo?
Dave Damaschek
I. I'm on it.
Stugotz
I'll invest. I'll invest. I think it's funny. I think it's funny. And I understand. Apparently one of these projectiles almost hit a baby. We don't want that. We don't want that.
Dan LeBatard
Cunningham don't want that either.
Stugotz
And I don't want them hitting players. I don't think that they're aiming for players. And if, if they aim for players, shame on you. This isn't football where they're wearing helmets. All right? But if you want to aim for the periphery of the. Of the court, by all means. I think it's funny. I think the dildos are funny.
Dan LeBatard
There's no reason to pay attention to.
Dave Damaschek
The women in sports unless there are dildos.
Dan LeBatard
Can we, can we demystify the dildo a little bit?
Izzy
Like I have an update really quick on the dildo. Green dildo coin up 80%.
Dan LeBatard
So that's the name of the coin.
Izzy
That's the name of the coin.
Dan LeBatard
Dildo coin.
Mina Kimes
Okay, so can we press restart on just like the entire concept of you.
Stugotz
Would like to walk it back because you applied a subtext at dildos that I don't think should actually be there. Look, I'm not on Blue sky, but to me, there's a £2 purposes. No, yeah, that's what I know. That's what I know about this guy. I can find me at that Blue Sky. You know, if you want to hear.
Mina Kimes
About this story in. In deeper detail, good Follow has a really good deep dive into it. And of course, if you want to hear actual storylines about the WNBA, you can go to DLS Hoops on YouTube and listen to everything juju's been doing as covers this league really, really well.
Stugotz
They do. We do. I'm sorry. We do a great job of covering the WNBA here at Meadowlark, and we have plenty of people that follow this league religiously, cover it and speak with it, speak to it with authority. I'm not one of those cats. I don't think there's a subtext to the dildos. I just think it's funny to see a dildo. Now, don't hit anybody. And I know that.
Dan LeBatard
How do you figure that out?
Stugotz
Well, look, there's definitely gonna be some collateral damage when you're throwing a projectile on the court. And if we could, I would establish like a comida, port libra, type of. There has to be a weight limit. You do need some weight to it because that's how you can make sure that it gets from lower level to the court. No upper deck dildos, too. That should be a rule.
Izzy
It's far too upper deck. Like first you're hitting somebody in the stands. If you're throwing it from the upper deck, upper way.
Stugotz
Exactly, exactly. Zagak. But I don't think it's. I don't. I understand the subtext around it, and I know I'm coming off crude and all that, and I get that, but it's funny. Like it. It is. I'm sorry. I apologize. Goodfellow did a great piece. If you want some people to not find it funny, there's plenty of people that you can find out there that don't find it funny. If it. It's gonna happen again, it's gonna show up on my algo. I'm gonna like it because it's funny. Because it's a dildo.
Dave Damaschek
You know, it's a common thing on the Internet right now. It's blind ranking. So right now we're gonna blind rank. I'm gonna give you guys objects that and you're gonna rank them. That would be funny to throw on a court and wouldn't be funny to throw in a court. The first thing.
Stugotz
Oh.
Dave Damaschek
Oh. We don't have time for this.
Izzy
I was gonna say we're doing in 10 seconds.
Stugotz
Just give me two. All right. A shoe. No. A dildo. Yes.
Podcast Summary: The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Episode: The Big Suey: Football America Friday (feat. Dave Dameshek)
Release Date: August 8, 2025
Dan LeBatard opens the episode by addressing the similarities between this show and his previous podcast iterations. He humorously comments on the show's unique imaging and compares it to eyeing someone's fries in a restaurant:
Dan LeBatard [00:11]: "The only difference seems to be this imaging. I have been tempted in restaurants just walking past tables to grab somebody's fries that if they're just there."
Stugotz chimes in, affirming Dan's anecdote with a playful admission:
Stugotz [00:24]: "I've done it."
Transitioning to promotional content, Stugotz highlights MetalArk Media's recent achievements and upcoming projects, including the Emmy-winning Boston Red Sox documentary and the debut of their new football podcast, Football America, hosted by Dave Dameshek.
Stugotz [00:32]: "Exciting times here at MetalArk Media... Another Metal Arc project that we can all get excited about is the debut of our new football podcast."
Introduction of Dave Dameshek: Dave Dameshek joins the conversation, expressing excitement about his new podcast and the upcoming football season:
Dave Dameshek [01:56]: "It's football season. That's reason enough to celebrate. It is now upon us."
Preseason NFL Commentary: Dave draws an analogy comparing NFL preseason to Civil War reenactments, emphasizing their chaotic yet entertaining nature:
Dave Dameshek [02:16]: "Preseason is football's version of Civil War reenactments. They only look real."
Discussion on Key Personalities and Teams: The trio delves into local football legends, particularly focusing on Joe Rose, a South Florida institution and former football player turned spokesperson. They reminisce about his contributions and humorously critique his advertising tactics:
Stugotz [04:31]: "His local claim to fame was he caught Damarino's first ever touchdown."
Dave Dameshek [05:12]: "He starts doing ads for extends for his wiener... That was grotesque."
Betting Strategies and Predictions: Dave shares his betting strategies, recommending perennial bets like the Pittsburgh Steelers' over in season win totals and adopting a pessimistic view on running backs' over/under performances due to injury risks:
Dave Dameshek [10:15]: "The perennial best bet, and I sincerely mean this... the Steelers over their season win total. It's an eight and a half."
He further elaborates on the unpredictability of player performances, particularly running backs, citing Saquon Barkley as an example:
Dave Dameshek [11:40]: "Based on his history, he's likely to go under, as is every other human being who has to carry the ball."
Team Analyses: The conversation shifts to specific NFL teams, including the Detroit Lions, Chicago Bears, Indianapolis Colts, and Tennessee Titans. They discuss coaching changes, player performances, and the potential for these teams to make significant impacts during the season.
Dave Dameshek [13:07]: "I like the Hutchinson one a little bit better... The Lions are pretty deep down the path with that."
Trade Scenarios and Player Movement: The hosts explore hypothetical trade scenarios, such as trading Micah Parsons to the Philadelphia Eagles in exchange for Saquon Barkley, debating the strategic value of such moves:
Dave Dameshek [24:38]: "Howie Roseman is the not secret sauce of the Eagles... more replaceable than a piece like Micah Parsons would be for your defense."
They also touch upon the possibility of trading Aaron Rodgers for Geno Smith, discussing the implications for both the Packers and the Steelers:
Dave Dameshek [26:51]: "This was the perfect bridge quarterback to get you to 2026 without the headache and all the soap opera on the side."
Introduction to the Topic: The conversation takes a turn towards a controversial incident in the WNBA, where sex toys (dildos) were thrown onto the court to promote a cryptocurrency. This segment includes a heated debate on the appropriateness and humor of such actions.
Stugotz [17:40]: "There's all sorts of undertones here, man."
Debate on Appropriateness: Dan LeBatard and Stugotz discuss the nature of the incident, with Stugotz arguing that the dildos are simply a marketing gimmick without deeper subtext, while Mina Kimes challenges this viewpoint, emphasizing the disrespect towards women involved.
Mina Kimes [40:55]: "But this is just disrespectful toward women."
Stugotz [41:39]: "I just think it's funny to see a dildo. Now, don't hit anybody."
ESPN Report Reference: Dan references a report by Katie Barnes from ESPN.com detailing the orchestrated stunts aimed at marketing a crypto coin, highlighting the intersection of sports and digital marketing:
Dan LeBatard [41:53]: "A self-described cryptocurrency enthusiast told ESPN that he is part of a group that orchestrated recent sex toy stunts that have disrupted at least three WNBA games in the past 10 days."
Audience Reception: The hosts continue to analyze the potential impact and public reception of such marketing tactics, weighing humor against potential disrespect and safety concerns.
Stugotz [44:35]: "Zagak. But I don't think it's... I think it's funny."
Looking Ahead: The host trio wraps up the episode by teasing upcoming content, including a special guest appearance by Jon Hamm and further discussions on Football America:
Dave Dameshek [33:50]: "I think next week."
Final Banter: The episode concludes with light-hearted banter about past sporting experiences and upcoming shows, maintaining the show's signature humorous and engaging tone.
Stugotz [45:26]: "Oh. We don't have time for this."
Podcast Launch: Introduction of Football America, signaling MetalArk Media's expansion into dedicated football content with expert insights from Dave Dameshek.
Betting Strategies: Emphasis on informed betting strategies, highlighting the unpredictability of player performances and the importance of historical data.
Team Dynamics: In-depth analysis of various NFL teams, focusing on coaching changes, player trades, and potential season outcomes.
Controversial Marketing: Exploration of unconventional marketing tactics in sports, specifically the use of sex toys in the WNBA to promote cryptocurrency, sparking discussions on appropriateness and effectiveness.
Humor and Banter: Consistent use of humor and playful banter to engage listeners, maintaining an entertaining atmosphere throughout the episode.
This episode of The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz offers a comprehensive dive into the NFL's upcoming season, betting strategies, and team analyses, enriched by the expertise of guest host Dave Dameshek. Additionally, the show doesn't shy away from controversial topics, engaging listeners in debates about marketing ethics in sports. The blend of informed sports commentary and light-hearted humor makes this episode both informative and entertaining for fans new and old.