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Dan LeBatard
You're listening to Giraffkings Network. You know that sound? It's the sound of money hitting your Venmo account. A friend paying you back. Or maybe it's getting cash back from your favorite business when you pay with the Venmo debit card. Or it's realizing you can pay with Venmo at checkout at thousands of brands.
Stugatz
Now there are so many more ways.
Dan LeBatard
To answer the question. What's your Venmo? Download Venmo. Today, the Venmo MasterCard is issued by the Bancorp Bank N.A. pursuant to license by MasterCard International Incorporated. DOSH Cash Back Terms apply.
Stugatz
Now is a good time to remember where tequila's story truly began. In 1795, Cuervo invented tequila. Cuervo, what are you doing here?
Mike Ryan
Cuervo. Anytime someone says Cuervo, I show up.
Stugatz
Well, I do know that to be true. But even during ad reads like Cuervo, I think he could lay out especially for one of our great partners.
Mike Ryan
Sweet, delicious Cuervo.
Stugatz
Since then, Cuervo has stayed true to its roots. The same family, the same land, the same passion.
Mike Ryan
Cuervo.
Stugatz
So enjoy the tequila that started it all. Cuervo.
Amin Elhassan
Cuervo.
Stugatz
The tequila that invented tequila. Roximo. Cuervo.com, please drink responsibly.
Jeremy Tache
Cuervo. Welcome to the Big Sui presented by DraftKings.
Mike Ryan
Why are you listening to this show?
Jeremy Tache
A podcast that seems very similar to the other Dan LeBatard podcast. I'm sorry. I'm not gonna apologize for that. In fact, the only difference seems to be this imaging.
Mike Ryan
I have been tempted in restaurants just walking past tables to grab somebody's fries if they're just there. That hasn't happened to you guys?
Jeremy Tache
I've done it. And now here's the marching man to Nowhere, Fat Face and the habitual liar.
Dan LeBatard
This is behind the bit.
Stugatz
This is behind the bit.
Jeremy Tache
This is behind the bit. I miss espn. I miss it so much. I miss those four letters. Got me into every restaurant in America.
Mike Ryan
So yesterday we tried to get a Valentine's Day reservation. We're like, we're going to send. Stu got out on Valentine's day at about 5:00, and he needs a reservation a couple of hours at a very busy place. Dan, once you discover sue had a.
Dan LeBatard
Talent for getting reservations, I wouldn't say.
Mike Ryan
Necessarily that Stu Gotz had a talent for getting reservations. Stugatz has a broader talent of getting whatever it is that he wants by whatever means necessary. Sleaze disguised as charm. Greed disguised as. I'M your buddy. Stugatz knows how to get things. I don't know that he's got a greater skill of any kind than getting a dinner reservation than how to get things for Stugatz.
Jeremy Tache
Friend Lodge.
Amin Elhassan
May I help you?
Jeremy Tache
Yeah, hi. What's your name?
Mike Ryan
My name is Georgia.
Jeremy Tache
Hi, Georgia. That's a beautiful name. How are you?
Amin Elhassan
Fine.
Jeremy Tache
I'm hoping you can help me out. Happy Valentine's Day, by the way.
Mike Ryan
Thank you very much.
Jeremy Tache
How's the restaurant doing?
Mike Ryan
Very good.
Jeremy Tache
The restaurant is near and dear to my heart. You know, I got engaged there.
Mike Ryan
Uh huh. Okay.
Jeremy Tache
Yeah, I got engaged there. So, you know, I love. I love Hustle Town. It's one of my favorite cities. I got engaged at your restaurant. So the city and the restaurant mean a lot to me. I really botched this one up, so I'm hoping Georgie can help me out. Okay.
Amin Elhassan
Okay.
Jeremy Tache
So I was supposed to make reservations at your restaurant tonight and I failed to do it. And so I've been calling in favors all day. Like I just hung up the phone with JJ Wa and he said, listen, you could throw my name around and tell him that you and I are friends. I love J.J. he's the best. You like J.J. sure. So he said, listen, if I have to call on your behalf, I will, but just saying my name there should get you through. And so I'm just trying to get a table for. For tonight at 7:30, if possible. Prime time, babe.
Mike Ryan
Let me see what I can do.
Jeremy Tache
Last minute dinner reservations, they're very stressful. Everything's last minute for me. And so what I told Dan, when it gets down to the last minute, you got to do what you got to do. If I have to use Levitar's name, I will use Levitard's name to get me into a restaurant. If I have to use Will Perdue's name in Chicago to get myself into a restaurant, I will use Will Purdue's name. And I have used Will Purdue's name to get me into a restaurant. And so restaurant reservations are really me at my best because I'm doing it last minute. And I know I have to lie when I know I have to lie. I'm really good at lie. Maybe it takes someone from the 730 category, that range who doesn't quite have the promotional platforms that I have. You bump them down to 5:30, boom. You put me, Luke Longley and Ron Caravise. 7:30 prime time.
Mike Ryan
I know that sounds amazing, but unfortunately.
Jeremy Tache
Listen, I'm bringing Willie G. I'm bringing Willie Galt. Willie Galt.
Mike Ryan
You could bring anybody who wanted. But I cannot push. I unfortunately can't push any reservations that are.
Jeremy Tache
What if I brought Barack Obama? I mean a friend or a friend. I will make a call. I'll see if the Obama's have Valentine's, but bring him in. I got the table, right?
Mike Ryan
Oh, well, you do have a table at 5:30 if you want to make that.
Jeremy Tache
Hold on. But I. Yeah, but Barry likes to eat later.
Mike Ryan
When he says he's at his best, he means. And it's true, he is at his very worst. We have discovered over the years that Stugatz's gross and shamelessness is a mountain of content willing to be made and molded into perpetual lab.
Jeremy Tache
But I get my table.
Mike Ryan
He does get his table. Will Purdue never shows up. He gets his table though.
Billy Gil
Stu, is your favorite line to get a reservation? I got engaged here.
Jeremy Tache
Listen, I got engaged there. You'll save my marriage. What else might be, you know, the end of my marriage. I got engaged there to my wife 15 years ago. You know, I got engaged there. That's certainly a go to line. I got engaged here five years ago.
Amin Elhassan
My.
Jeremy Tache
This really. This place really means a lot to my wife. We've never been to that city. We've never been to that restaurant. But that. Listen, those are the keys to getting yourself a reservation. When you're calling 16 minutes before you have to be there on your wife's anniversary.
Mike Ryan
Fake romance.
Jeremy Tache
You have to say, it's my wife's favorite restaurant. There are dozens of restaurants across this country that thinks that they are Abby's favorite restaurant. None of you are.
Mike Ryan
All over the country.
Billy Gil
Has Stu's Clark University lacrosse scoring record ever gotten him perks as an adult?
Jeremy Tache
Oh God. I am Clark University's all time leading scorer in lacrosse. I hold every record. I mean I graduated 20 years ago and I still have. I still have all the records, every one of them. I am top in points, number one in goals, number one in assists, points per game. I'm a legend up there.
Dan LeBatard
Yes.
Mike Ryan
It's mother's day though.
Amin Elhassan
Yeah.
Mike Ryan
I realize we have a thousand reservations.
Jeremy Tache
I do understand that.
Mike Ryan
But I don't believe anything good other than mockery has come from Stugot's alleging that he holds a scoring record at Clark University in lacrosse that none of us believe that is. I don't remember the details.
Amin Elhassan
Internet.
Mike Ryan
I don't remember the details about that team.
Jeremy Tache
Right.
Mike Ryan
I think, think what we surmised was what ended up being true there. That you do indeed hold the Record, but it was a series of teams that finished in last place, and it was clearly inferior lacrosse.
Jeremy Tache
I had a great season. I really did. I had a great season. Our team, 1 in 10, but I had a great season.
Stugatz
Stum.
Billy Gil
Has anyone ever gotten really mad at you on the phone making one of these reservations?
Jeremy Tache
Oh, that's a good question. Confused. Certainly they're confused. Why is this person talking so long to me? Why is he telling me about Will Perdue coming into the restaurant and bringing roses?
Mike Ryan
That's part of the secret, right? To keep them on the hook. Right. To batter them around, to disorient them.
Jeremy Tache
If I say one name over there, one name over here, Rose is over there, wife's favorite restaurant over there, anniversary here. Hopefully they're confused enough or they just say yes.
Mike Ryan
Yeah, that's the whole thing. It's all an elaborate kind of torture of like. Like a Navy SEAL would learn this in Guantanamo. On how to disorient an interrogation subject. I'm going to confirm your reservation now. I'm assuming you're going to be here. Yes, I just need a phone number to put on file.
Jeremy Tache
Yeah, no problem. I am notoriously great at commitment, but let me. Let me get you this. This phone number here. I want to give you the right number. It is 9, 5, 4, 0.
Stugatz
Okay.
Jeremy Tache
T. Yaz. I mix trot and yaz. They're my two favorite Boston athletes ever. That's how I do it. All right, so we're gonna be there 12:30. We're really looking forward to it again. I got engaged there. This means the world to me. So this is. This is unbelievable. And my wife is very excited. I'm assuming it's, you know, I'm bringing all these people and it's comped.
Billy Gil
No.
Jeremy Tache
Okay. I do think the table for 17 on Christmas Eve at prime Italian was the one time where someone got mad at me. But I said I was making it for Dan.
Mike Ryan
That's right. No, I got mad at him. I got mad at him because the busiest day of the year in Miam. Me at the busiest restaurant. He wanted a table for 17. And he. I learned once they get the table for 17. Didn't even go for 17. Friends.
Jeremy Tache
And when they asked me the name of the reservation, I said, levittard.
Mike Ryan
Unbelievable. All right. Just need one more thing from you.
Dan LeBatard
Stugat.
Billy Gil
Yes, I do need a deposit.
Jeremy Tache
Okay, let me get that from Dan. Hold on a second.
Billy Gil
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Dan LeBatard
Don Lebatard it sounds to me like everybody could use a hug because a hug is always the right size stugats. All I have put in my body today is three cups of coffee in an entire entire couple. Don't let him fool you. He said in the break that he's jittery.
Stugatz
This is the Dan Levatar show with the St.
Jeremy Tache
Gods.
Dan LeBatard
This episode of the Dan LeBatard show is presented by Venmo.
Mike Ryan
I miss those calls. He needs to try to do that again. Resurrect that again. I want to get to the Kevin Durant News because it's now just sort of being reported as fact that he's not going to be with the Suns anymore in the office. I wanted to know what you thought his value was at 37 and I will tell you, I don't know whether Jeremy and Mike Ryan got excited for the third or fourth time about Kevin Durant's availability, but I will tell you the Miami Heat are not in that game anymore and it's not just because they don't want to be in that game. It's because all the Suns want are picks for Kevin Durant and Kevin Durant is going to get a lot of picks. The Suns are starting over because that's the highest payroll ever and the highest tax ever. And they have to get out from under it because they're not even a playoff team. You can't have the highest payroll ever and the highest tax ever and not make the playoffs. So what's the value of Kevin Durant? He's being talked about as a fit in Dallas.
Amin Elhassan
Not the highest payroll, not the playoffs, not the play in. They're on the outside looking into the play in. This would be the most expensive, most disastrous failure in the history of basketball. To pay that much and not even be able to have a chance to play in a little rinky dink, winner take all, little tournament to get into the seven or eight seed. Obviously, Dan, the big thing is that Kevin Durant ultimately controls that. If he says, the only place I'm going to go is here. Again, what we talked about with Damian Lillard a couple years ago, then that shapes the conversation. As far as Miami having picks, they've got, I believe they send theirs this year, but they have one coming from Golden State that's probably going to come in because it's only top 10 protected. And then they have one that they owe to Charlotte and other than that, they have all their picks. But again, you can go out and get picks, you can go out and figure out what are the things that you're going to pawn off in order to get what it takes to get Kevin Durant.
Mike Ryan
That's the ask. The ask is picks. I'm just surprised that we're there. Like what a spectacular failure, man, that, that is what a giant failure to have an owner come in. And I know that we are critical of all the things the Miami Heat didn't do, but we were critical, at least in part because the Phoenix Suns were doing those things. And those things have not worked.
Stugatz
Kevin Durant is a champion, multiple champion, Olympic gold medalist, probably the greatest scorer I've ever seen. An unprecedented type of scorer with that body type, given his range. And I look at his career and I say, what if? I say, what if because he's after Golden State. Look, he was the best player on those Golden State teams. And every decision that he has made since deciding that he was going to leave Golden State has not worked out. And it's not entirely his fault. It could be an inch on a shoe or it could be partnering up with Kyrie Irving and that whole thing blowing up the Nets plan. How many games did they play together, their big Three, and then the decision to push his way out of there and land on Phoenix. I know Miami was in that mix and ended up losing, but none of these things have worked out for Kevin Durant. He, honestly, if he just stayed put, he'd be talked about on the same level as LeBron, I think.
Amin Elhassan
But he didn't want to stay put. And I think that's the important thing for him was the intellectual pursuit of, yeah, I know I could stay here and it'll be perfect and we'll keep winning, but I don't want to win that way anymore. Right? I did it. That was fun. Now I want to go see, like, can I do it a different way? Can I do it, quote, unquote, my way? He was on with Draymond Green on his podcast yesterday or the other day, and they say, hey, why didn't you come? Why did you veto a deal to bring you back to Golden State? And he said, I don't want to do that in the middle of the year. I mean, I understand how much change and shift happens there. If that's something that's going to happen, let us pursue it in the off season. Let's go in there with a plan. Let me not land in the middle of a season. While you guys are trying to do something, I'm trying to do something. And I think that all lends to. He wants to win in a particular way.
Mike Ryan
You guys say, though, that this has been botched at the end, and I just. I want to rewind, okay? Because we forget what our criticisms are in the moment. I know how popular what Phoenix was doing was. It was really popular, the way that Phoenix got into the game. Now, hold on a second. Kevin Durant's career, the choices he made, when you look at the pressure around these people, Barry Bonds, wherever it is that he was using steroids, is because he was watching Mark McGwire, Sammy Sosa, lesser players climb above him in all the ways. Kevin Durant got left behind because of the choice LeBron made and then had to make a series of choices, felt the pressure to please us. Like, it felt like that's what we wanted from him. Hey, keep up. Keep up with what. What's happening here. And now we criticize it, but he was trying to keep up with what was happen with the most competitive people of the day after what LeBron built. So the choices he had to make as remember the Sports Illustrated stories of, I'm always second place. I'm one of the best there's ever been, but I'm always second place. There was a pressure to keep up with all the things LeBron was doing, that's why the choices got made.
Stugatz
I understand why you think it sounds like I'm criticizing him. I'm not. I'm really not. Kevin Durant has made it abundantly clear who he is and what he's motivated by. I'm just bummed that it hasn't worked out for him that his decision making has been bad or unfortunate. I mean, the Achilles injury, too, that's another unfortunate chapter. A lot of this stuff has been out of his control. We talk about all these stops that he's had. He's been good. He's been the one constant. He's been the one thing that everybody can count on. He's always been about ball. Even when his body has betrayed him, you know that his focus is on ball. He's not a distraction. He's not making waves. Yeah, maybe he pays attention to too much to what people are saying on social media, and he's a bit surly, but he genuinely cares about his craft, and it just hasn't worked out, and I'm bummed for him.
Dan LeBatard
The thing with Kevin Durant's career that's funny is obviously, he came in a few years after LeBron, but he sort of followed that same model and path, which is LeBron at 26, goes to Miami, goes and wins a couple of titles, and then makes choices to go to two separate franchises after that, where it's also worked out for Kevin Durant. He waited till his age 28 season, but he ends up at Golden State, wins a couple of titles and tries to do the same thing, make another decision. He doesn't go back to Golden State because it's home. And all of the things LeBron had with Cleveland, he tries to create another super team in Brooklyn. It doesn't work out, so he pivots. Let's go to Phoenix. Let's see if it works out. He's just surrounded himself with a couple of organizations that didn't know how to build it around them necessarily, and stars that didn't compliment him the way that LeBron had stars complimenting him.
Mike Ryan
Jeremy, I'm stunned by something that I think is the first time I've ever seen it happen in 20 years doing this show. While you were talking, Amin looked at his wristwatch. I've never seen someone on our show do that. We have clocks all over the place here.
Billy Gil
No, no, no, no.
Stugatz
He's got one of those Apple watches. I thought you. I got. I don't. I don't know what Dan's doing. There.
Dan LeBatard
Dan thinks people still look at their watches that way.
Stugatz
Very clearly. Doesn't like you.
Mike Ryan
He just did that. He just.
Stugatz
I've never seen.
Mike Ryan
Wait a minute. I'm not even directing that at Jeremy. I'm directing it at a mean.
Stugatz
You know what? 99% of the time I ch. It's purely performative.
Mike Ryan
What were you checking your watch for?
Amin Elhassan
I have. As Roy pointed out, it's a smartwatch. So when I get alert, the poop chat, a text message or whatever, it hits. So I, Brad Williams, number 72, and.
Stugatz
As we've established, I have a very expensive watch, so I just try to draw attention to it.
Mike Ryan
We are doing a show live and I see my co host do this in front of the cameras.
Dan LeBatard
Did you think he was bored by Jeremy?
Amin Elhassan
I wasn't in front of the cameras because Jeremy was on camera because Jeremy was talking.
Stugatz
I locked eyes with Jeremy at one point. I got a little weird.
Mike Ryan
What I know is that he wasn't listening to what Jeremy was saying.
Amin Elhassan
I absolutely listened to every single word he was saying. What are you talking about? You think if I look that way. Oh, no, now. Now I'm in a number of world because I looked in a different direction. Oh, now I'm back. I'm looking at Jeremy. Now I know what he's talking about. No, now I've looked away.
Dan LeBatard
It does wrap it up, though. Like, if I look at my watch during a show, I'm like, all right. I mean, I didn't have that feeling. Fine with it. Let me make it abundantly clear. I know a meme can listen to me and check it out.
Stugatz
You're falling for it again. He's stirring.
Mike Ryan
He looked at his watch. I didn't.
Stugatz
You're the one that mentioned it.
Dan LeBatard
How did you feel about my.
Mike Ryan
It was on camera.
Stugatz
It wasn't, was it? It was like camera was locked in on the guy. We have a preview screen. You can't tell the difference.
Jeremy Tache
All right.
Stugatz
It's always been an issue.
Mike Ryan
How did this get turned around on me?
Stugatz
Because you search it and you try to walk away like we don't notice. And you pit us against each other to create your friction on the air.
Mike Ryan
Look, you're sitting here saying you just got done. I didn't even correct you on this. You just got done saying that an Achilles injury was out of when they rushed him back on that team. You've just made this out of his control when he's the one looking at his watch while we're doing the show.
Stugatz
Well, sounds like it was on someone else's control.
Amin Elhassan
First of all, number one, they didn't rush him back. He wanted to get back out there. It was a decision that was made collectively. It wasn't like, kd, when you come back, okay, I guess I'll give it a try. That's not what happened. And I hate when people do that. And then when you say, well, no, he had a partner, people say, well, you know, a player is never going to say, well, he's not a child. He knows himself. He knows his body. He knows where he can push himself. It was unfortunate. It wasn't an Achilles strain that turned into a ruptured Achilles. It was a calf strain that also had an Achilles rupture that happened after it. So we're not going to do that thing where it's like he had his arm twisted behind him, much like we're not going to do the thing where literally the only human being in the world, because I'm counting the millions of viewers on YouTube who noticed it, was you. Yes, I distracted someone by checking what the hell that alert was on my watch. The someone wasn't the person who was talking. And furthermore, I knew what Jeremy was talking about. But I suspect, Dan, you had no idea because you were so thrown off by me just doing this action right here. Dan, what was Jeremy talking about?
Mike Ryan
That's a rude action.
Amin Elhassan
What was Jeremy talking about?
Mike Ryan
He was talking about the decisions that Kevin Durant made.
Amin Elhassan
It's more specific.
Mike Ryan
You be more specific. I'm not gonna take a quiz. You distracted me with your watch, and now I'm just embarrassed because I really did think you were looking for the time. I didn't think that you were looking for notifications on tweets that you're missing.
Amin Elhassan
Not a tweet. I'm not Cody. I'm an actor. I don't have to go to Twitter for validation. Dan, the viewers do Hulu memes and nightmares. Catch it right now.
Mike Ryan
You've mentioned that a few times the last couple of days. As the movie star that you are, I'd rather. Can you guys get for me, please, the call from last night's game? Because I thought it was a perfect call. You've got Michigan State and Maryland at the end of the game. I've enjoyed watching Maryland this season. Michigan State doesn't have the ball. Michigan State is on defense and the game is tied. So Maryland's got the ball, and you think at home they've got a chance to win the game with very little difference between the shot clock and the game Clock. But what happens after that as a call is perfect call. Because the sound, the sound, if you can close your eyes, the sound of the ball going into the basket from more than half court on the buzzer beater to win the game. And how quickly the announcers got there with the guttural sound that all of us make when we're stunned was perfect. Broadcasting. Gotta go.
Amin Elhassan
Gillespie for three goal or no. Holloman looks the clock half gore for the win.
Mike Ryan
Oh, oh my goodness. Hol. From half court to winning on the road. That sound of the ball, like you have to hear this swish from more than half court. The violence of the speed of the ball's travel makes a sound that you never hear with a buzzer beater. And then right after that, the announcers half court for the win. Oh my goodness. All of it. From half to win it on the road. There can't be a lot of feelings in basketball better than that, right? To not just making the game winning shot, but making it from there. Just watching the fl. That's something you will remember for the rest of your life. You'll be Gene Hackman's age and you will be thinking about, about feelings. Don't get better than that.
Dan LeBatard
And you'll remember the sound of the ball hitting somehow like I guess back iron and also the net at the same time. It's so loud. It's, it's, it's the way that guys will viscerally remember the crack of the bat on a walk off home run. You don't often get that sound on a buzzer beater, Jeremy.
Amin Elhassan
That was me at the World Series, Game one, right? I'm at this game. Big Yankees fan. Okay, here we go. We're gonna do it like, all right, we're gonna steal game one. And then Freddie Freeman. Like I was literally videoing on my phone. I was videoing on my phone and I heard the crack and literally. I can send you guys the video. I stopped recording before I like, I didn't even look at where the blah. It's over.
Dan LeBatard
That's awesome.
Amin Elhassan
That thing went to Altadena like it was gone.
Mike Ryan
Cascore for the win.
Amin Elhassan
Oh my goodness.
Mike Ryan
I want to play this again and I want to tell you that this is a watermelon being dropped 12 stories into a dumpster. Cascore for the win. That's not a basketball shot. That is awesome. That ball is traveling way too fast and heavy. Cascore for the win. Oh, oh my goodness. All of it. From half court to win it on the road.
Amin Elhassan
You're on to something. It absolutely sounds like something heavy thrown into a dumpster. Like, you ever have to take the trash out. It's really heavy. And you just do this like, one of like, what's it. The shot put. You do the little.
Jeremy Tache
The hammer throw.
Mike Ryan
Oh, my goodness.
Dan LeBatard
Oh, my goodness.
Mike Ryan
I mean, well. But do you know, I have. One of the reasons that that's so great is because of all the times that I have listened 99.9% of the time for the announcer to go into for the win. Not even close. We go to overtime. Like, because that shot never goes in, but it certainly never goes in after that sound. Let's figure out. Do you have a nominee better than a watermelon being dropped 12 stories into an empty dumpster. Castor for the win. Oh, my goodness. That's not the way a game. A game winning sound. You want to hear the net. Like, the net is what you hear, not the collision. It also sounds like somebody banging on the side of a donkey stuff. Castor for the win. Oh, my goodness. It has an echo.
Amin Elhassan
I'm staying with throwing the trash into the dumpster. And it hits like the. The side of the.
Dan LeBatard
You accidentally slam the refrigerator door a little too hard. So you hear like the suction.
Mike Ryan
Castor for the wing.
Billy Gil
On the map.
Mike Ryan
Cat score for the win. Oh, my goodness.
Stugatz
Hey, folks, happy wintertime. You know, wintertime is a great time to hang out with friends, maybe take a hockey trip. It's what I did with my friends. Hockey time quickly became Miller Time responsibly, of course, because Miller Lite was made for me and my crew of friends. Bunch of guys that love the taste of beer and don't want to feel guilty about the beer that they're having. Miller Lite delivered flavors across almost every note. Because Miller Lite is brewed for taste, it hits different than other light beers. The taste you know, you can depend on with no games and no gimmicks. Just a great beer for people who like beer, like you, like my friends, and like me. Miller Lite great taste. 96 calories. Go to millerlight.com dan to find delivery options near you. Or you can pick up some Miller Lite pretty much anywhere they sell beer. Tastes like Miller Time. Celebrate responsibly. Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin. 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces.
Dan LeBatard
Hey, friends, it's Jerrah Baer here, and I'm here to tell you all about Boost Mobile, which is now a legit nationwide 5G network. So I must take a break from the jokes here for a second and put on my serious voice because I would never, ever joke about a 5G network that has invested billions building 5G towers across the country. Not even once. Not even if Mr. Boost Mobile himself asked me to. There is nothing funny about it. Boost Mobile is now a legit nationwide 5G network and also provides coverage across 99% of America. Seriously? Visit boostmobile.com or your nearest Boost Mobile store location to learn more. The Boost Mobile network, together with our roaming partners, covers 99% of the US population. 5G speeds not available in all areas.
Stugatz
Don LeBatard for weeks, months, even during the regular season, I wondered aloud what Kevin Stendland did. And then about three weeks ago, it hit me.
Mike Ryan
Stugats.
Stugatz
He gives him one of these and he gives them one of those.
Mike Ryan
This is the Dan Levatar show with the Stugats. Mike, is there any particular reason that before the show today that you were talking about a Bruins fight from 50 years ago?
Stugatz
Yeah, because I had never known about this fight. Did you guys know that there was a fight in hockey that was worse than Malice at the Palace?
Amin Elhassan
Yeah.
Stugatz
Yeah. I had no idea. This was something that had just dawned on me in the Hockey chat. Bob Washoes and put it in there. Had no idea. Really? I had no idea that this existed. With Boston Bruins going into the stands and fighting New York Rangers fans with skates on. With skates. This is very dangerous. Mike Milbury beats somebody with his own shoe. Ray Bourque was on the ice for this game. Thank God Ray Bourke was.
Dan LeBatard
Thank God it was a shoe.
Mike Ryan
Didn't he throw his shoe? No, no.
Stugatz
He took the guy's shoe off and beat him with it.
Dan LeBatard
Who throws a shoe?
Mike Ryan
Honestly, one of the great videos that we've ever shown so grainy was the reflexes of George Bush avoiding a thrown shoe as an insult. I was not aware until that moment that the throne shoe was an insult, although I could have inferred it.
Stugatz
Can't imagine how clunky and awkward it is to climb the lower level while you're wearing ice skates. But I guess a stick also helps you maintain your balance.
Amin Elhassan
It's like climbing Mount Everest.
Stugatz
You have the hockey stick, but you have lethal weapons, not only in your gloves, but also on your feet. I would not want to fight a hockey player under any circumstances. Even if they're wearing their full uniform and we're on dry land.
Mike Ryan
You believe that hockey players on skates can't walk around or run around the way that the rest of us would in running shoes because they are always in skates and know how to treat it as their foundation.
Stugatz
I imagine they're a lot better at it than I, but this presents its challenges. There's beer on the floor. If I were. Ideally, if I were to fight a hockey player that was in full uniform, I'd say, sand. Let's fight in sand.
Mike Ryan
It's a good.
Dan LeBatard
Or in the pool.
Mike Ryan
It's a good choice. Yeah.
Dan LeBatard
Because everyone's lighter. I could lift them up.
Stugatz
No, but then the. No, Absolutely not in the pool, because they have those razors on their.
Billy Gil
Bleed out fast.
Stugatz
Yeah, no. Terrible suggestion.
Dan LeBatard
That's a good one.
Stugatz
We're going shoreline.
Dan LeBatard
Let's talk this out.
Amin Elhassan
The PK Subon sound. That's what made it so objectionable to me. Mike, you really don't like him, but it was just like, come on, man. Like, you cannot have this big of a blind spot. Right? And someone said to me, well, he's just defending his sport. I said, no, no, he wasn't defending his sport. He was taking shots at our sport without any of the context. And that. That fight, Mike, is one of the. One of the examples. It's like, yes, that can happen in hockey. Like, oh, that was a crazy Tuesday night. And in the NBA, it was culture war assault. It was.
Dan LeBatard
Sure, if that happened today in hockey.
Stugatz
It wasn't at the 70s.
Dan LeBatard
It would just be like, oh, that was fun.
Amin Elhassan
Do you think there would be as.
Billy Gil
Much of a, like, reaction from people to arrest the players?
Amin Elhassan
No, I don't. Right.
Dan LeBatard
The Tkachuk brothers went into the stands and started beating on Canadians. Yes, I think that there would be. I'm not saying it would be the same. You know, there's a lot of, like, you know, cultural stuff going to be exactly the same. But to say that we would just be like, oh, Connor McDavid and Kachuk went into the crowd and with their skates on and started attacking fans. That would be a massive story.
Amin Elhassan
Chris. Let me. Let me put it this way. If Conor McDavid and Kachuk start fighting.
Dan LeBatard
In the middle of the ice, that's a Tuesday night.
Amin Elhassan
I'm with you. All right. We can't do that in our sport.
Dan LeBatard
That's fair. Two guys we were talking about going.
Amin Elhassan
Into the crowd, but I'm just saying, like, the. It's a double standard. Right. So what's acceptable, whatever the penalty is if that happened today in hockey of them going in stands, it would be less than what the penalty would be if it happened in the NBA.
Stugatz
Marty McSorley was found guilty of assault with a deadly weapon on the ice like that. I'm old enough to remember that scandal in that sport. It was huge.
Amin Elhassan
Did they have to change the entire sport because of that?
Stugatz
I haven't seen it since.
Amin Elhassan
Did they have to change the sport? I'm not saying you're asking me a question.
Stugatz
I'm not fully.
Dan LeBatard
I think Amin is to just boil.
Billy Gil
Down his point into something more simple. Black people are treated differently than white.
Mike Ryan
People or seen as more threatening in video where people are fighting. The Tkachuks are not the same as Stephen Jackson and Ron.
Stugatz
We noted Donald Brashear was the victim in the Marty McSorley thing, and Marty McSoli never played again.
Amin Elhassan
Okay, I'm asking you guys, did everyone in hockey have to start wearing suits after that? And did they ban wearing? That's my point.
Mike Ryan
They changed the New York Islanders.
Stugatz
Well, baggy white Teej, this is not practical. You have healthy scratches, too. You don't say. You don't just chill on the bench when you're not playing.
Mike Ryan
You do realize why this is so personal to him, right? He had a team that was championship worthy, that got derailed by the rule changes forced by Amar E. Stoudemire taking a step off the bench. Once they changed all the rules.
Stugatz
I got it. Well, all I'm maintaining is that has more to do with 1979 than it has to do with the sport.
Mike Ryan
Well, we didn't talk nearly enough about how grainy the footage was that we were watching back in 1979. Because if that was the video that we had in the modern day, if it was that grainy, if it looked like it came from the Jacksonville Jags facility, we wouldn't air it anywhere nationally because the footage is too grainy. Because the televised sports were so shitty.
Stugatz
It never looked that bad as someone that had a square TV and was watching stuff in standard def. Those CDs were made for that stuff. I think it looks worse because we're digitizing all the video.
Jeremy Tache
Right?
Amin Elhassan
Dang. You're absolutely right. Our screens are to blame. They're too good to. They point out all the imperfections. Whereas if this were still a regular old school tube, that would have been clear footage.
Dan LeBatard
Think about how good people thought this looked at the time. Like, you're like, wow, you get a new tv, you turn it on.
Amin Elhassan
You're like, wow, it didn't look like that. I know I'm gonna sound like the old guy. It didn't look like that because it.
Dan LeBatard
Didn'T look great, though.
Amin Elhassan
The screen wasn't good enough to show those imperfections. So because the screen resolution wasn't good enough, it looked fine. The problem is our modern screens are so good that now you're seeing all the little imperfections that before were just blended in by the terrible resolution.
Stugatz
Glad we figured that out. We're lying. Because every time I watch this, I'm like, I was there for that. That did not look that bad.
Mike Ryan
I wanted to discuss with you guys after seeing Paul George get dragged yesterday, a whole lot of people making fun of him for canceling or postponing his podcast, which is very popular and has been good, at least in part because he gets very good guests, too, to open up. But he said he is concentrating on working on his body and chasing a championship that the Sixers have no chance of getting. But the thing that I wanted to talk to you about, because we have talked a lot about how shitty the podcast business is for most because of how oversaturated it is, and everyone thinks they can do it and do it well. But people do forget that it requires a constant intake of content. That can become a pressure. It can become very difficult. It can become, for some of these YouTube influencers, a total life consumption because you have to keep feeding the machine. So Kendrick Perkins has said of the Josh Hart and Brunson podcast that if that was his locker room, those guys would have smoke with him. He wouldn't allow that in his locker room. That those guys need to stop doing that podcast now. Paul George, because they're so bad, and I'm imagining it's taking a lot of his time, is checking out on his podcast for the moment, which is successful. What are your thoughts there? And. And Travis Kelsey says podcasting is the hardest job in the world. Like, I do wonder if you have an honest conversation with Jason and Travis Kelsey, if they're running from place to place in a way that's making them wonder if they should have said yes to all the things because of the amount of responsibility that comes when they start paying you that kind of money.
Amin Elhassan
So when I first saw the excerpt, I didn't see the video. I saw a picture of Paul George and the excerpt. Paul George is going to take time off from podcasts to focus on winning a championship. I swear to God, I thought it was NBA Sentel. It was such a ridiculous Rest in peace headline. Rest in peace. We'll get to that in a second. Such a ridiculous headline. Dan, I'm going to tell you right now, I was less believing of its reality than I was. If Luka Doncic gets traded to the Lakers straight up, I was like, absolutely.
Mike Ryan
This has to be the Onion. This has to be a spoof to concentrate on a championship. You could have said, postpone the podcast. It was the part about concentrate on a championship.
Amin Elhassan
Absolutely. And so we taped Oddball and we're done for the day. And then literally as we're getting up, I see it on my phone and I'm like, this isn't real. And so then we start scrubbing and looking for. And there's video. And he says it.
Mike Ryan
And I said, it's AI you think it's AI Still? You still don't believe it?
Dan LeBatard
Allen Iverson.
Amin Elhassan
Yes, it was Allen Iverson all along, Dan. It's not because it's all consuming. It's because what we've been saying all year long for him particularly is, buddy, your individual season and your team season is not going great. Put it like, have some guest hosts fill in till you guys get this thing back on track and then come back, think about everything that's happened this season. Joel Embiid injured to start the year. Joel Embiid shoves reporter in locker room. Team meeting called, where they call out Joel Embiid. Their awful season, they're losing, the injuries, everything that's happening. And Paul George, through it all was like, let me do it. Let me do. Not only let me do show, but he would do shows that were like the worst contracts in the NBA. Like, you want to do the worst contracts in the NBA?
Mike Ryan
You sure about that?
Amin Elhassan
You sure you want to do, like.
Billy Gil
Bleacher Report slideshow episodes?
Amin Elhassan
But, like, of all the things, it would be like Zion Williams having a podcast and say, hey, who are the most out of shape athletes? You want to have that conversation?
Mike Ryan
Really?
Amin Elhassan
Right. It was just a lack of self awareness combined with contextually, you're not having a great year. Sit it out. So for him to now, at this point, when it's all said and done, they have a bottom six record, which is key because they keep their pick. If it's in the top right, Joel Embiid might be done for the year. He's gonna undergo some surgical option that might have him late to come back next season. Everything is put it to rest. We're measuring the coffin, we're booking the funeral arrangements. And now he's like, gotta focus on the championship, boys.
Mike Ryan
It is weird.
Amin Elhassan
What?
Mike Ryan
Yeah. I don't know if you guys noticed. Yesterday in Houston, the oldest woman in America died. Elizabeth Francis, at 115 years old. She died protecting Social Security for another 40 years. She died without seeing Joel Embiid get to A conference championship. 115 years old, Sixer fan She was the idea that the Phoenix Suns could be as bad as they've been and not be the biggest disappointment in that league because of how much we love the splashy transaction. I remember Mike Ryan and many others others celebrating how great Daryl Morey is at getting the guys because he does get the guys. But that Sixers that being that bad. Good timing. I expected you to play the Gene Hackman sound. I expected you to play the Duvall sound. 10 seconds late confirming is it the Sixers season is an apocalypse. It's. No one could have seen this coming.
Jeremy Tache
Right?
Mike Ryan
You could see Joel Embiid hurt, but you'd still expect Paul George and Maxey to do something.
Dan LeBatard
You say the apocalypse. I say they are in the midst of the best chase in the N B A this season, dan, for the 10 seed in the Eastern Conference. Do you know where we're at with that at this point? It's basically a three team race when you look at it between Matus Bu Zelis and them boys in Chicago. You got someone, Killian Hayes, I think playing for the Brooklyn Nets these days. That's pretty crazy. Tyrese Martin and then Paul George and Tyrese Maxey in the Philadelphia 76ers. All of them are 2 1/2 games apart. You got Boozelis and the Chicago Bulls along with Josh Giddey who's a crazy few game stretch. They're the 10 seed right now. Technically a playoff team, Dan. They're 13 games under.500. The Philadelphia 76ers themselves are 20 and 38 and could end up playing a first round series against the Cleveland Cavaliers.
Amin Elhassan
My favorite website around this time of year is this site called Tankathon. And it basically gives you all of like the reverse of what you would imagine. Right? So they've got worse to best and then the more you're losing you get a little green highlight and the more you win it turns red. So for instance, the Brooklyn Nets, they've. What's that? They. They've won seven of the last 10 games. That's bad. According to Tankathon. But the Philadelphia 76ers lost nine in a row. That's really good. This team is not going to compete for a ten teeth, Jeremy. You know why? Because it is in its best interest to be awful at this point. Of course you got to keep that pick and that's what they're going to do. They're already doing it. You don't lose nine of the last ten games on accident. They're doing it because they need to keep that pick.
Dan LeBatard
So that Bulls Nets race is going to be electric.
Billy Gil
You know the Bulls are going to get it. This is their sweet spot for the last like five years. They're like, we got good attendance. We're barely making the playoffs. Oh, we just fell short.
Amin Elhassan
Ah, too bad.
Billy Gil
We're not going to change anything, Dan.
Amin Elhassan
You know what the best part is? You know what happens if that pick isn't top six? If it's like say seven, you know where it goes?
Mike Ryan
No.
Amin Elhassan
Oklahoma City.
Dan LeBatard
Oh, dear God, I hate them so much.
Mike Ryan
Can you guys look up for me, please, the worst team to ever make the playoffs? Because I have not heard of an 18 team, an 18 game under.500 team making the playoffs. So if you can look up for me, I remember the Royals one year made the playoffs and may have won the World series as largely a.500 team or close, but 18 games under.500, that. I mean, I know a lot of people say that the playoffs have too many teams in them, but that's an. That's asinine what you're saying. What, what you're saying is patently ridiculous. Like when that team season ends, it needs to end. You don't want that to be undead. That needs to be dead. When it gets to 82 games, Dan.
Amin Elhassan
In the modern era, so I'm not going to count the stuff that happened in the 50s and 60s, that's just ridiculous. But 1984, the Bullets made the playoffs. 35, 47. 1986, the spurs did it with the same record. 1995, the Celtics did it.
Mike Ryan
You can't be 18 games under.500 and talking about a championship. Like what? That's. What are you doing?
Dan LeBatard
That would be fun though. It's going around crazy.
Stugatz
Don't let the heat get in. Hey folks, happy winter time. You know, wintertime is a great time to hang out with friends, maybe take a hockey trip. It's what I did with my friends. Hockey time quickly became Miller time, responsibly, of course, because Miller Light was made for me and my crew of friends. Bunch of guys that love, love the taste of beer and don't want to feel guilty about the beer that they're having. Miller Lite delivers across almost every note. Because Miller Lite is brewed for taste, it hits different than other light beers. The taste you know, you can depend on with no games and no gimmicks Just a great beer for people who like beer. Like you, like my friends, and like me. Miller Lite great taste 96 calories. Go to millerlight.com dick and to find delivery options near you. Or you can pick up some Miller Lite pretty much anywhere they sell beer. Tastes like Miller Time. Celebrate responsibly. Miller Brewing Co. Milwaukee, Wisconsin 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces hey.
Dan LeBatard
Friends, it's Jerrabaera here and I'm here to tell you all about Boost Mobile, which is now a legit nationwide 5G network. So I must take a break from the jokes here for a second second and put on my serious voice. Because I would never, ever joke about a 5G network that has invested billions building 5G towers across the country. Not even once. Not even if Mr. Boost Mobile himself asked me to. There is nothing funny about it. Boost Mobile is now a legit nationwide 5G network and also provides coverage across 99% of American. Seriously? Visit boostmobile.com or your nearest Boost Mobile store location to learn more. The Boost Mobile network, together with our roaming partners, covers 99% of the US population. 5G speeds not available in all areas.
Podcast Summary: The Big Suey: I Got Engaged Here Five Years Ago
Release Date: February 27, 2025
Podcast: The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Hosts: Dan Le Batard, Stugotz, Mike Ryan, Amin Elhassan, Jeremy Tache
The episode kicks off with Jeremy Tache attempting to secure a last-minute dinner reservation on Valentine's Day. Jeremy humorously recounts his elaborate strategies to persuade restaurant staff, including invoking notable names to gain favor.
Jeremy's antics involve claiming past engagements at the restaurant to exploit sentimentality, leading to playful banter and mockery from the hosts.
This segment highlights the comedic rapport among the hosts and sets a light-hearted tone for the episode.
A significant portion of the discussion focuses on Kevin Durant's career trajectory, his impact on the Miami Heat's strategy, and the broader implications for the NBA.
The hosts delve into Durant's decisions post-Golden State, analyzing how his moves have not yielded the desired success both for himself and the teams he's joined. They critique the Miami Heat's reliance on acquiring draft picks as a strategy to manage payroll and competitive performance.
The conversation underscores the complexities of assembling a championship-contending team in the modern NBA landscape, emphasizing Durant's role and the Heat's challenges.
A humorous interlude occurs when Amin Elhassan is seen checking his smartwatch during the live broadcast, leading to a meta-discussion about professionalism and distractions on air.
The hosts playfully tease each other about the incident, highlighting the casual and candid nature of the show. This segment serves as a relatable moment for listeners, showcasing the natural chemistry and occasional slip-ups among the hosts.
The show transitions to a nostalgic discussion about infamous hockey fights from the past, comparing them to contemporary standards and exploring the evolution of sportsmanship and rules.
Hosts recount a notorious incident involving the Boston Bruins attacking New York Rangers fans with skates on, emphasizing the dangers and cultural perceptions surrounding such events.
The conversation critiques the inconsistencies in handling violent incidents across different sports, shedding light on racial and cultural biases that persist within sports media and administration.
The discussion shifts to the challenges athletes face in the saturated podcasting landscape, citing examples of high-profile sports figures struggling to balance media obligations with personal and professional demands.
The hosts analyze how the constant demand for content creation can lead to burnout and detract from athletes' primary responsibilities on the field or court. They reference Paul George's decision to pause his podcasting efforts as a case study in managing external pressures.
This segment offers a candid look at the intersection between sports and media, emphasizing the need for balance and self-care among athlete-media personalities.
The hosts engage in a fervent discussion about the Philadelphia 76ers' disappointing season, exploring the team's performance, strategic missteps, and potential playoff outcomes.
They debate the implications of the team's record on their draft picks and playoff standings, expressing frustration over the prospect of an underperforming team making the playoffs based on poor records.
The conversation highlights broader themes of team management, draft strategy, and the harsh realities of maintaining competitiveness in the NBA.
This episode of The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz masterfully blends humor with in-depth sports analysis. From Jeremy Tache's humorous reservation tactics to the critical examination of Kevin Durant's career choices and the Philadelphia 76ers' struggles, the hosts offer a multifaceted perspective on current sports narratives. Their candid discussions about on-air dynamics and the pressures of athlete podcasting add layers of relatability and authenticity, making the episode both entertaining and insightful for listeners.
Note: All timestamps and quotes are derived directly from the provided transcript to ensure accuracy and proper attribution.