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Dan Le Batard
You're listening to Giraffe Kings Network.
Stugotz
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Stugotz
Welcome to the Big Sui presented by DraftKings.
Dan Le Batard
Why are you listening to this show.
Stugotz
The podcast that seems very similar to the other Dan Lerd podcast? I'm sorry, I'm not going to apologize for that. In fact, the only difference seems to be this imaging.
Dan Le Batard
I have been tempted in restaurants just walking past tables to grab somebody's fries that if they're just there. That hasn't happened to you guys.
Stugotz
I've done it.
Amin Elhassan
And now here's the marching man to.
Stugotz
Nowhere Fat Face and the habitual liar.
Dan Le Batard
I mean, I don't have a great deal of confidence that by the end of this segment we're going to be able to execute now no longer on the max hour. Max asshole. I have called Chris Whittingham. I thought that would be funny to have him do the play by play on Georgia Tech football. He's too busy doing soccer famous things called Boogshombi. He's too busy doing video game voices. All of our friends, all of the big broadcaster friends that we have too busy to do this. And so I don't know if in the next 30 minutes we're going to be able to execute. It's already no longer in the max hour. Max asshole.
Amin Elhassan
Yeah, no, that's a shame. I thought for sure we get Sedano. He's always. Anytime he's got an opportunity to do play by play, he's jumping at the bits. I said, oh, George.
Stugotz
Local legend Eric Reed, maybe when's the.
Amin Elhassan
Last time he did a football game?
Dan Le Batard
Football's tough. It's a totally different skill set.
Stugotz
It's not Greg Cody Doing Eric Reed.
Amin Elhassan
Maybe now you've sold.
Dan Le Batard
Now you've got a decent idea. Now, the problem is explaining the bit to him, explaining, play by play, asking him to do anything other than a very limited fake, nasally Eric Reid in about five minutes. Yeah, go ahead and do that. See how that goes? It's like trying to change. It's like trying to teach your grandparents the technology. Like, it's not. You got no shot there.
Amin Elhassan
That's how you set your vcr.
Dan Le Batard
I have no confidence, okay, that we're going to be able to execute this, but I'm going to try anyway. Before we get there, I've got a handful of things that I wish to get to, some of them basketball related. But first, can someone tell me the ramifications of 40 monkeys being loose in South Carolina? Oh, I don't. I don't know what that means. And at this point, I am scared of everything. And perhaps this makes me a stupid person. And perhaps I fear too many things when RFK is in charge of health and we're taking fluoride out of the water, and I'm like, okay, where are we headed with all of this? What does it mean that 40 monkeys are on the loose? Are we just going to allow people to keep getting sick with weird viruses because we don't know how to combat them? Or am I overreacting?
Stugotz
What's the deal with these 40 monkeys? Because this is the first I'm hearing about this, and South Carolina is pretty far away.
Chris Whittingham
It sounds like a movie, right? So the primates broke loose from the Alpha Genesis factory in Beaufort County.
Amin Elhassan
Oh, my God.
Chris Whittingham
Right off there. What are we doing right there? That sounds a little scary. The Alpha Genesis factory in Beaufort County.
Amin Elhassan
This is absolutely a movie. This is how Planet of the Apes started.
Dan Le Batard
Exactly right.
Amin Elhassan
They were at the Alpha Genesis factory in San Francisco.
Dan Le Batard
Izzy says South Carolina is far away. China is, too. And that seemed to be a virus that went everywhere. And so I just. I asked the question totally ignorant. I've seen those outbreak movies. It's all I have, really, in terms of information, facts. I don't know what it means for 40 monkeys to escape from a lab. It sounds like something you don't want in your life, whether you're in South Carolina or somewhere else. But, I mean, Ron McGill could probably give us some expertise as to what it is that this means. Is it something I should fear? I find myself fearing more and more these days.
Amin Elhassan
You reminded me that my father, in his eminent wisdom, decided to show my children outbreak during the pandemic oh, no.
Stugotz
One of my core youth memories is not too young. But being afraid from watching that movie, it felt absolutely possible that outbreak could break out here in the States or here in the world. And now it feels like since we just went through this pandemic, that 40 monkey story is really creeping me out.
Chris Whittingham
The staff at Alpha Genesis are currently attempting to entice the animals back using food in order to ensure their safe capture.
Dan Le Batard
40 Monkeys sounds like both a dystopian movie and a new tequila. Like a mezcal.
Stugotz
Imagine the bottle, little mezcal.
Dan Le Batard
Mezcal.
Amin Elhassan
I like this glass half full approach. Instead of panicking, let's imagine a nice mezcal on the rocks.
Dan Le Batard
I mean, sure, you got it. Sure.
Amin Elhassan
40 monkeys.
Dan Le Batard
Yes, 40 monkeys sounds like a pretty exotic tequila. Again, though, I was very ignorant when the virus made an appearance. I remember sort of watching it on the television. It's 5:00am when it starts breaking on CNN. Hey, there's this problem in China. Like, oh, that's far away. That's not gonna, like, change entire Earth and freedom and democracy as I know it, and currency. It's not gonna change everything. It's just a virus that's far away, right?
Chris Whittingham
And imagine I was on my honeymoon when I saw that same exact news break. But I was in Thailand, which has the most Chinese tourists in the world during the Chinese New Year. So we were like, oh, that's interesting.
Stugotz
So we don't know if these monkeys were being studied for anything. We don't know if any tests were being done. We don't know if these monkeys are right.
Dan Le Batard
You guys agree with me that 40 Monkeys is a movie that doesn't have an ending that's good for humans, right? Whatever. Whatever the movie is. If I tell you nothing more other than the movie title, and the movie title is 40 Monkeys, that movie goes dark places, right? It's not a comedy.
Stugotz
I don't know. You don't think you can put 40 monkeys together and they build a fun community and everybody likes each other then they did.
Dan Le Batard
I haven't been able to do that at Meadowlark.
Amin Elhassan
Buzzing.
Stugotz
I think you're at 39, Izzy.
Amin Elhassan
They did build a community. It's called Planet of the Apes. They all got along. The apes did, at least. Us, not so much. But again, we weren't eradicated by the apes trying to get rid of us. If you remember the end of the first Planet of the Apes with Franco, it starts with the guy he's a pilot. Or ends with the guy, he's a pilot. And he gets on the plane and then we see that line of the flight going to Europe, and then it spreads in Europe and then the flight goes to Asia and it spreads in Asia. And that's how it happens right? Now, here's the thing. You say we don't know if these monkeys are sick. Let me tell you right now, they were at the Alpha Genesis factory. There's no chance they weren't sick.
Stugotz
Yeah, but my whole life I was told, hey, raccoons have like rabies or whatever. Stay away from them. But then people are friendly with raccoons all the time. So, like, should we stay away from them or not?
Dan Le Batard
I don't think people are friendly with raccoons all the time. I think you're living in a different America than I am.
Chris Whittingham
The US center for Disease Control Prevention confirmed in a statement that the monkeys were previously living on Morgan island as free range monkeys and were brought to the Alpha Genesis facility for conditioning to be around people. Free range.
Stugotz
So to work out conditioning.
Dan Le Batard
So we're okay.
Chris Whittingham
We're good.
Dan Le Batard
They're just doing cardio.
Chris Whittingham
They're gonna do their own thing. Like, we're gonna leave. We're gonna leave them over there.
Stugotz
We're gonna try to quit the gym.
Amin Elhassan
Why is there a facility?
Chris Whittingham
Alpha Genesis.
Amin Elhassan
They were on an island. That's a movie I wanna watch. Morgan island, where it's just a bunch of free range monkeys. And then we're trapped on the island and. Roy, can we get that trickling sound? We're in the bowels of the island. In the abandoned. The monkeys have taken over.
Dan Le Batard
This is a horror now. Now the 40 monkeys are in charge. Because I'm walking through the darkness and the monkeys have better eyes than I do. In this darkness with leaky pipes, they're also less afraid than I am.
Stugotz
It doesn't matter what the premise of the movie is. If Alpha Genesis is the title of the company of the bad guys, I'm in. I'm in on this movie.
Amin Elhassan
Alpha Genesis. They made some mistakes. And now the monkeys are super intelligent and they're running this island. And we're stuck on the island. We gotta get out. And in the middle of this, while we're in that basement with the dripping thing and worried about killer monkeys, we're having a disagreement about whether Anderson is.
Chris Whittingham
A first name or not in Alphagenesis. Is it because of corporate greed that everything got thrown off? Or was it because a scientist was trying to play God?
Dan Le Batard
Oh, that's a good question. I answered too quickly.
Amin Elhassan
Wow.
Dan Le Batard
Hold on.
Chris Whittingham
Is it corporate greed? They wanted to have monkeys do something for humans in a servitude way. Or is it a scientist? Like, you know what? I can change things.
Dan Le Batard
It's probably a scientist trying to play God in service of corporate greed. It's probably the duo. It's. Yes. It's probably got to be both of those. He's not a.
Chris Whittingham
That's the turn in the movie, though.
Dan Le Batard
Not a rogue scientific God. He's clearly bought by the oil company.
Amin Elhassan
He's the CEO and chief scientist, and this is his passion project.
Stugotz
Twist at the end. The project was just finding a faster way to warm the cockles.
Dan Le Batard
Alpha Genesis, Dude. I mean, that's out of fiction. Are you kidding me? That's a real thing. You guys are going to tell me that the monkeys escaped from a lab? Give it a fictional name. I've got it. What's the most dystopian thing that's going to eat your face? Alpha Genesis. Yeah. That's a Ponzi scheme. That's not a real thing. That's a company name. That all. They exist only to exist. They exist only to release 40 monkeys into your nightmares.
Chris Whittingham
It's you. That or a Rod. Got steroids from them.
Dan Le Batard
That, too. That's one of the.
Chris Whittingham
Alpha genesis. I'm hitting 50 homers.
Dan Le Batard
One of the funniest things to happen in the history of sports is a Rod and Manny Ramirez making their way through that. Tony Bosch, Boca Raton tanning clinic of hormones. Like that baseball was being run from a Boca strip mall.
Amin Elhassan
Alpha Genesis also has henchmen. Right. Who have Alpha Genesis branded jumpsuits. But they only exist to get their faces eaten by monkeys.
Dan Le Batard
Nobody trusts Alpha Genesis. Right. There's no one who lives in proud service of Alpha Genesis except the scientist who's trying to play God.
Chris Whittingham
I think that there was a time where Alpha Genesis was the sterling, like, object of creating things that were good for people. But then the guy at the top, chief science officer, but also CEO, got a little too. Got a little too close to the sun.
Dan Le Batard
Absolutely.
Chris Whittingham
The passion project done in secrecy on Morgan island because obviously they got so successful they bought Morgan Island.
Dan Le Batard
It stopped being a utopian scientific pursuit in the search of knowledge and became a greedy ego fest that releases 40 monkeys in South Carolina from a place. You got to be kidding me with this name. Who trusts Alpha Genesis?
Stugotz
You have to blow up the island.
Chris Whittingham
That's the sequel. Return to Monkey Island.
Amin Elhassan
Return to Morgan Island. Yes. That is the sequel. Turns out there was one monkey that was still alive.
Stugotz
Yeah. They captured the monkeys and at the end of the episode, you count a freeze frame. You can only count 39.
Dan Le Batard
Uh. Oh. Roy, can you do me a favor and please pull out the wheel of only NBA issues? This is not a wheel that.
Stugotz
Hang on a second. We gotta find it out of the closet.
Dan Le Batard
It's been. Yeah, it might be in storage. It might be difficult to find. But if you can find the wheel of NBA issues, there are a number of things I want to put in front of amin. You found it already? Wow.
Amin Elhassan
Roy's sounds so creaky.
Dan Le Batard
So it's Draymond talking on a podcast about his relationship with Stephen Adams. It's JJ Redick. It is Puka Nakua saying he could play in the NBA. And it's Stephen A. Smith saying that he might run for president of the United States. Which did it land on there, Roy? Oh, it landed on Stephen A.
Stugotz
Dang it.
Amin Elhassan
All right. So, admittedly, I have not heard this. I have merely read his quote, but I have not heard what the quotes are. And so I've been trying to imagine what that sounds like.
Dan Le Batard
Do you want to read the quotes to us as just a meme, not as Stephen A. Smith? What are the quotes saying?
Amin Elhassan
Just want to make sure that video knows we have the clip ready to go, but just wait for me to try and guess how it sounded.
Dan Le Batard
You have not heard this?
Amin Elhassan
I've not heard it. I just have the.
Stugotz
I like this game.
Dan Le Batard
Yeah. I like that he's taken on the challenge of this game because there is gonna be a payoff here.
Amin Elhassan
All right, here we go. So he was asked the idea of running for president. He said, hell, no. I have no desire to be a congressional figure or senator. But if you came to me and you told me I had a legitimate shot to win the presidency of the United States of America, I would definitely consider it. I have it that he never actually gets loud. He just does that trail off of the. Yeah. And it's almost kind of sensual. Like, I would definitely consider it. Kind of like, you don't want to make an enemy out of me, Right?
Dan Le Batard
Oh, I think he goes bold and defiant on the dismount and says, but I would definitely like. I think he nails. I think he escalates to the last. Can you give us both.
Amin Elhassan
Can you.
Stugotz
Can you give us Dan's option, See which one comes true?
Amin Elhassan
All right. Hell, no. I have no desire to be a congressional figure or senator. But if you came to me and you told me I had a legitimate shot to win the presidency of the United States of America, I would Definitely consider it.
Dan Le Batard
Ooh, I don't know.
Stugotz
I nailed it.
Amin Elhassan
I think he goes subtle.
Dan Le Batard
Okay, so you think he understates his candidacy for United States President and isn't gonna go over the top? Because we've noticed he moderated a News Nation panel. He' he has chosen a lame. Maximum audience. Maximum audience.
Stugotz
So not right down the middle. Just collect everything.
Dan Le Batard
Newsmax is going to. It's going to be Stephen A's Newsmax, where he's got Hannity because Trump now says Fox isn't Hannity enough. Fox isn't on his side enough. So big audience building. Stephen A. You think he's announcing his candidacy for presidency subtly instead of with maximum bravado because he wants the American people to believe in him? Start believing him right now. The campaign starts.
Amin Elhassan
I just feel like this is the kind of thing that he delivers with subtlety, sort of oche if you want, because it reminds me, like I said, of the Kevin Durant, the original feud from a couple of years ago. But we have the actual video, Dan, so we don't have to guess anymore. Let's hear him from his own words.
Stugotz
You've been asked, I hear about running for political office in the future, and.
Dan Le Batard
Some people have said that they could.
Stugotz
See you running for president.
Dan Le Batard
Would you do that?
Stugotz
You think you qualify to run for president?
Dan Le Batard
I mean, the bar is pretty low anyway.
Amin Elhassan
I do not. I would. Can you.
Mike Ryan
How do we phrase that?
Chris Whittingham
I mean, I just think that the.
Stugotz
Bar is really low because Trump really had no political experience and went from 0 to 100.
Chris Whittingham
Right. He didn't.
Amin Elhassan
He didn't start in the city council and stuff like that.
Dan Le Batard
So the bar is low. Anyone can run.
Amin Elhassan
I have said this on many occasions. The answer would be hell, no, because I like my life. I'm living a pretty good life.
Dan Le Batard
But I must confess, I do.
Amin Elhassan
I wish I could debate some of these guys. I'd love to be on a debate stage going up against these guys with. Don't say that. No, we will arrange that and not. And you know, I'm half joking, but I kind of mean it. I mean, I have no desire to be a congressional figure or a senator, but if you came to me and you told me I had a legitimate shot to win the presidency of the United States of America, I would definitely consider it.
Stugotz
Nailed it. Absolutely nailed it. I mean, good job.
Dan Le Batard
You know what, though? You guys left out an important bit of context. I thought he was doing this on first take. I did not know he was doing this. Surrounded by women. And so he was on the View. And of course, course he was gonna go cocky, sensual, smooth. I did. But I. You gotta give me that information.
Amin Elhassan
That's true.
Dan Le Batard
You gotta give me that information.
Amin Elhassan
I did know he did it on the View. I. I swear to God, people are gonna say, oh, he probably clearly, I mean, watched it. I swear to God, I did not watch it before, but I knew it did happen on the View. I apologize for lacking the context.
Chris Whittingham
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Stugotz
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Dan Le Batard
Oh wow.
Stugotz
It's in there.
Dan Le Batard
It's better.
Chris Whittingham
You think I haven't been practicing stugats?
Dan Le Batard
I didn't realize we had a substitute. Complicated Legacy.
Chris Whittingham
Check Toyota 441 Power Line Road. Second down to nine. This is the Dan Levatar show with the St Gods.
Dan Le Batard
Let's spin the wheel again here and see what it comes up on the wheel here. And something else has made an appearance on the wheel. I can't quite see it from here. Does it say Trump on the wheel? Go ahead and spin the wheel there. So you got J.J. redick, you've got Draymond Green saying, talking about his relationship with Stephen Adams. What are you smirking about? I mean, what's so funny?
Amin Elhassan
This next topic is going to be a good one.
Dan Le Batard
What is the next topic? I can't see it.
Amin Elhassan
You can't see it?
Stugotz
Let me look Real quick.
Dan Le Batard
Trump. It says.
Amin Elhassan
No, it does not say Trump.
Dan Le Batard
It doesn't say trump up there.
Stugotz
J.J. redick, so close.
Amin Elhassan
Why is that so close? This was. Okay, so we talked about this yesterday about JJ Redick having a conversation with deangel Russell Benson for the rest of the game. And, you know, okay, what does that mean? Cool. It was a regular basketball conversation. I had not realized what JJ Redick's reaction was in game, in real time, at the thing that made him best. D'Angelo. Russell. We've got that video, ladies and gentlemen.
Dan Le Batard
JJ, you're talking a lot about two.
Amin Elhassan
Out of the three.
Dan Le Batard
Two or three guys getting them to.
Chris Whittingham
Put in the effort.
Dan Le Batard
You talked a lot about wanting to play hard and LeBron being the guy.
Stugotz
That played hard in tonight's game.
Dan Le Batard
How do you address that with the team? What's your philosophy for approaching? I just did.
Amin Elhassan
Okay.
Dan Le Batard
I mean, if you're going to throw it to video, you need to let video know what the video is.
Amin Elhassan
I need to do that.
Dan Le Batard
They don't. They don't work that way. You got to inform them. They don't. They can't read your mind. They need to do that without reading my mind.
Amin Elhassan
I sent an email and everything.
Dan Le Batard
Okay.
Stugotz
It's still helpful. JJ Redick storming off on a press conference in what month? 2. Professionally.
Dan Le Batard
Let's play the other sound that Amin actually wanted. He's a little amateur throwing it to SAD to the video room. It's a very difficult thing. You have to understand. The video's got to be prepared. You talk about it before, and then you say, hey, video, here's the video that I need. When I'm talking about something, can you play the correct video? We haven't figured out.
Amin Elhassan
Apparently we have the. We have the real video now. Okay, let's see the real video.
Stugotz
Steps back beyond the arc blocked by Huff stuff.
Amin Elhassan
Look at JJ Reddit, Alama J. Huff, another three.
Stugotz
JJ Redick picks up and slams down his seat that he's actually sitting on, which is kind of tricky. Three times.
Amin Elhassan
The first one is kind of like a I'm so frustrated. And then you got some endorphin release there. And he's like, I'm frustrated. He loses it. He loses it right there. That's not a, I'm disappointed in you, Delo. That's a, what the heck are you doing out there?
Dan Le Batard
He did. For those who don't have the video, he was in a chair, an expensive and heavy chair. He was sitting, and he was squeezing it, very frustrated and lifting it off the Ground while he sat in it in his frustration, sitting. Literally sitting in his frustration. As J.J. redick presents to us the optics of being a coach with no experience being a coach, generally speaking, as a leader in that sport. Do you believe in coaches who haven't done anything and have that temperament? Because J.J. redick has been an impatient, lose your temper guy since college. That is not something you give power to and expect lose your temper guy to suddenly have less of a temper. He's got less control over the results than he's ever had, and he never had that much control over the results because he was a player who always fit in somewhere.
Amin Elhassan
Right.
Dan Le Batard
That temperament doesn't seem long for that job unless he does some learning about patience.
Amin Elhassan
I would say that, yes, he had a bad temper in college and then was very quickly humbled in the NBA by not being in the rotation and having to work his way. And he really mellowed over time. But now this is a different journey. And there are going to be times where you are frustrated because, like you said, there's a lack of control. At the end of the day, as a coach, I can't play. They're the ones who are playing. So you kind of have to live and die with that. The reality is the number one person who he needs in his corner is in his corner. And as long as LeBron is like, yeah, JJ's right, then he can say and do anything.
Stugotz
But this is dangerous. I mean, don't you think? Like, if this is not saying he can't change, right? But if this is the lane you choose, whether it be. Let's start with sort of of his approach to the media. Right. You saw in that first clip where we weren't supposed to play, but it was helpful, where he was just. Just the look he was giving was, I'm angry, and he's probably angry at his players, but I'm angry at you. Right? The result of that, the storm off, him using curse words, him telling people, like, he could have taken a different lane. Like, I remember the first game he did. I was. I. He didn't know how to tie his own tie. Like, I helped him tie his tie. It was adorable.
Amin Elhassan
I was like, wow, he could have. Yeah. We're going all the way back to 2006.
Stugotz
No, no, no, no. This. Whenever he started his broadcast career.
Amin Elhassan
Oh, broadcast career.
Stugotz
The first game he did as a broadcaster. So after his entire, you know, NBA career, after, you know, probably got dressed in suits a bunch of times, didn't really know how to tie a tie. Tied his tie for him, Thought it was cute. Whatever.
Amin Elhassan
How about that?
Stugotz
That's not. He's clearly taking the, hey, I'm just gonna be an A hole lane. And even when you're talking about with the media, like, it serves a purpose to sort of warm yourself up to the media, like, they're currently taking a defensive stance against you because you're setting that tone versus if you were to just sort of warm up to them and be like, hey, I'm likable, whatever. Those people who say negative things, they're a little crazy. They're a little off the wall. I'm not gonna deal with them. But you guys, you're cool. You get protected that way.
Amin Elhassan
You gotta do some winning first before you can adopt that personality. The reality, though, is because, you know, I think JJ Already kind of had a less than elevated opinion of the media covering basketball. If you listen to him on the podcast where he talks about, oh, you know, like, they don't cover basketball like this. Listen on first take, kind of disparaging.
Dan Le Batard
He does not respect most the grand majority of basketball coverage he thinks is ignorant, empty, and doesn't know nearly as much as he does.
Amin Elhassan
Well, I don't think it's ignorant, empty.
Dan Le Batard
And he's not wrong. Anything.
Amin Elhassan
He's not wrong, but also a level of. You guys are focused on the wrong things. You guys aren't focused on the actual real basketball stuff. Much like when we talked about Durant yesterday, he would have hated our conversation because the conversation was all centered about how he feels, as opposed to how he feels.
Dan Le Batard
J.J. redick would like about 2 or 1% of everything being produced by NBA media in all of its forms.
Amin Elhassan
I don't want to put a number on it, but, yes, there's a lot of it he does not respect. But that question right there, that ain't it. That's him being frustrated because this thing started and I was getting my ass kicked, kissed and carried on a pagoda. And now reality is sinking in. And now we're asking the questions that make me feel uncomfortable because I'm realizing, oh, it's not as easy as I.
Stugotz
And you mentioned LeBron James, and he's protected by LeBron because as long as LeBron's okay with it, how long is LeBron going to be around? Like, does J.J. redick's coaching career is going to last longer than LeBron's career, is it not, you fool?
Amin Elhassan
You think J.J. redick is going to coach long? Longer than LeBron James? What is he, Larry Brown?
Dan Le Batard
What is that word? You used. I don't know how you spell it. Pagoda. Pagoda. How do you spell that word?
Amin Elhassan
P, A, G, O, D, A, something.
Dan Le Batard
You'd carry Cleopatra around.
Amin Elhassan
Yeah, they carried like royalty and stuff when they carry them to this town square.
Dan Le Batard
That is a sign of Izzy aging right there. That's a Kornheiser special joke right there. It's not just that it was a.
Stugotz
Vigoda, which I'm not even sure who it is or if I said.
Dan Le Batard
Yeah, it was Barney Miller. You did say it. Right, but, but, but just that joke is what Kornheiser does now. Anytime he hears anyone's name and he's been doing it for 20 years. It's how you age. It's how one.
Stugotz
So I can do PTI now?
Dan Le Batard
Yes, it's how one ages. We gotta get to maximum asshole. And I love that Chris Whittingham pops into the zoom as I say that. But before we get to max asshole, let's do against the sp.
Chris Whittingham
All right everybody, it's time for against the Straight.
Dan Le Batard
It's sponsored by DraftKings.
Stugotz
Stay tuned because you'll hear more about.
Chris Whittingham
DraftKings and all it has to offer throughout the show.
Dan Le Batard
DraftKings.
Chris Whittingham
The Crown is yours. I am going to start with Penguins and Capitals. Alexander Ovezkin has a five game goal scoring streak and the favorites have won the last 13 games that the Penguins.
Dan Le Batard
Have been involved in.
Chris Whittingham
And also I don't like the Penguins. The Capitals are favored in this game by a goal and a half. Go with them today against the Shout.
Amin Elhassan
Out to the Penguins.
Dan Le Batard
The Panthers won 62 last night. Can you explain to me what's happening with Winnipeg, please? Am I to fear Winnipeg? Why does Winnipeg never lose?
Chris Whittingham
Well, it was the same thing as.
Stugotz
Last year and they got upset in.
Chris Whittingham
The first round, so might happen again, might not.
Dan Le Batard
It was 12 and one last year is how they started.
Chris Whittingham
Yeah, they came into the playoffs as pretty much world beaters, so. But they ended up losing. So don't worry about them from right now. Tony. The jets going to the NFL. A lot of juicy lines in this week's offering and slate of the NFL, but I'm going to stick with one that sounds like.
Stugotz
Sounds like he's choosing that line.
Dan Le Batard
No, no, no, no.
Chris Whittingham
Because I'm looking.
Dan Le Batard
No, no, no. It sounds. You're like you're filibustering and filibustering and you weren't ready for the segment. It's wearing a contract year sponsored segment.
Chris Whittingham
Trust me, I am beyond ready because I've got my game lucky or Filibuster.
Dan Le Batard
No, no, no, no.
Chris Whittingham
It's just we're stretching because there's so much.
Dan Le Batard
I don't need stretch. I want to get to Max Astro.
Chris Whittingham
Oh, okay. Okay. Buffalo Bills minus three and a half against the Colts. Joe Flacco. I think that Josh Allen's playing special right now. They're going to get things settled with Amari Cooper. That offense is good. The Colts kind of average getting three and a half at home. I'm going to take the Bills minus three and a half.
Dan Le Batard
That line feels suspicious. What's happening with that line?
Chris Whittingham
I told you, there's a lot of juicy lines. I could have gone. I could have gone. Minnesota Vikings -7.
Dan Le Batard
What does the money know that I don't know? The Bills are at. They're only a three.
Chris Whittingham
No, Colts are at home. Colts are at home getting three and a half.
Amin Elhassan
All right, the juice is loose.
Chris Whittingham
Thank you.
Amin Elhassan
Should I leave? Do you want me to leave?
Dan Le Batard
You tell me the best way to do this. We've got. Chris Whittingham is here and I'm setting up a bit that I don't have confidence in. But at very least I do have confidence in your ability to be a maximum asshole. And I do have confidence in Chris Whittingham's ability to be a play by play man.
Amin Elhassan
So let me tell you right now for the listening audience, Chris Whittingham looks like he came to call a game.
Dan Le Batard
Yes.
Amin Elhassan
This isn't him in his pajamas.
Dan Le Batard
No, he's with his oven clock. He's been waiting for several, several months now for this call to come where he can do fake Georgia Tech play by play to. To summon Amin's maximum asshole. So, Amin, you go to the green room. Whittingham, what has been explained to you as. We get a means set up here because we're doing this on the fly and I don't know if you have enough information.
Mike Ryan
Well, I got sort of the gist of this idea that you do want to do kind of a maximum asshole style bit and you want to make Amin feel good, presumably going into the University of Miami game. But I have some lines of play by play in front of me. I know that we're trying to make Amin feel good, but it's sort of an incomplete picture. I have.
Dan Le Batard
Okay, so are you going to build the ad lib around what it is that your play by play is? Because I don't want you to have to stick to a script.
Amin Elhassan
But we're also.
Dan Le Batard
All we're trying to do is because you're a maximum asshole as a broadcaster, and he's a maximum asshole as a fan. We're just trying to give Max a maximum asshole moment. And so we think that his fandom, his ignorant fandom that knows precious, precious little about Georgia Tech will be on display on Saturday in an aggressive peacocking fashion, if he's able to out loud. Miami fans, I'm getting the feeling just.
Mike Ryan
Based off of looking at the names in front of me, that I will be introducing Amin to Georgia Tech players.
Chris Whittingham
Over the course of.
Dan Le Batard
He doesn't know any. That's right.
Mike Ryan
There's no chance he knows the names of any of these people.
Dan Le Batard
He does not. He knows Haynes, King, and he thought he was black just based on his name, and he is not. He is not black. He is. He is white. He is their quarterback. He knows nothing, but he wants to be able to say, you suck, Miami. He's living the most blissful sports life where he gets to root for his team, doesn't actually care. And if he wins, it's a gold mine. He is. It is the safest space for a sports.
Mike Ryan
And if he loses, it was expected to happen anyway, so who cares?
Dan Le Batard
That's right. Ignorance.
Amin Elhassan
Win. It is.
Dan Le Batard
It is. It's wonderful. Okay, so Amin is in position. Does his microphone work? Is everything in order? All right, we're going to close out this segment. Go ahead and give. Let's do this for as long as we can before we run out of time. Give him some play by play there, Whittingham.
Amin Elhassan
All right, here we go.
Mike Ryan
First drive of the game here for the number one offense in the nation, leading in both yards per game and in points per game under quarterback and Heisman candidate Cam Ward.
Amin Elhassan
Make noise, guys. Come on. Here we go.
Mike Ryan
Okay, Ward out of the gun on 1st and 10. Ward scanning the field, looking towards Xavier Restrepo. He's hit from behind. The ball is out. The ball is out. Romello Hite, the strip sack and the recovery for height. Romelo, height. He leads the Yellow Jackets with two and a half sacks. And he's got the ball for the Yellow Jackets.
Amin Elhassan
Mike, I think you dropped something. Is this yours? Nope, it's mine now. It's mine now. Let's go, Jacket.
Stugotz
What an asshole.
Dan Le Batard
Excellent. All right, let's keep going. Let's keep going.
Amin Elhassan
Where we at? Hey, someone turn on the transistor radio so I can know what light what you yard line are we on?
Dan Le Batard
Where we in their territory? Hold on a second. Back off.
Mike Ryan
Okay, third down and 12 here from the Miami 47. Once again, trailing in the first half, down 14, nothing in this second quarter. Ward dropping back to pass. He rolls to his right, he fires it deep downfield. And there's Restrepo. His first chunk play of the game. And you don't want to let this offense get rolling. 36 yard gain for Restrepo. It's the Canes in the red zone. We're going from right to left on your radio dial.
Amin Elhassan
Congratulations. Oh, so you guys know how to play this game? Oh, yeah. You're supposed to throw it to your team. Oh, well. Very well done, Michael. You guys must be very proud of your boys.
Dan Le Batard
We need moments for. We need the other moments. He doesn't need to be reacting to Miami doing well. We need more. Asshole.
Amin Elhassan
No, Mike.
Mike Ryan
But Dan. It sets up fourth and three from the Miami. From the Georgia Tech seven. And the Canes have settled for a field goal. 25 seconds left. This could be a 27 yard chip shot for Borgalles. The snap is good, the hold is good. But it's blocked. It's blocked. And it's recovered by Kyle Efford. Amine has no idea who that is. And here goes Efford. He's at the 50. Kevin McCormick is on his horse trying to catch him, but he will not. It's 20 to 7. Yellowjackets. What a swing for Georgia Tech.
Amin Elhassan
Take it to the house. Take it to the house. Oh, he's not a Miami song. Oh, I'm sorry I use your music. Oh, pardon me. Didn't know it's only meant for you people. Guess what? It's ours now.
Stugotz
Let's go, Jagger, Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Dan Le Batard
I never want to leave the air. I want to do this. Keep going. I don't even want college football Saturday. I want to watch this instead. Go ahead, Whittingham.
Mike Ryan
Georgia Tech's got the ball to start the second half on a great drive already in Keynes territory. After 33 yards on the ground from Jamal Haynes, I'm introducing Amin to these people. First and ten from the canes. 47. Handoff to Haynes. Haynes powering through tacklers. But the ball is out. It's recovered by Miami. And this is the last thing you want to see if your head coach, Brent Key, who Amin definitely doesn't know, has to be mistake free football if you're going to beat this Hurricanes team. And that one might come back to bite them.
Amin Elhassan
Scoreboard. Oh, what are we talking about?
Dan Le Batard
Whittingham, close this out. Do the last play of the game. We're out of time. What's the Score.
Amin Elhassan
What's the score?
Dan Le Batard
Give us the entire hold on. I mean we're going to get the whole situation here. We're going to get our punctuation. What do we have? Whittingham. It's the end of the game.
Mike Ryan
So here we are after the Miami timeout. The game is tied at 28, 137 to go. Georgia Tech ball, third and eight to go. A first down and they can set up the game winning field goal. Haynes King goes back to pass and here comes the pressure. But King breaks contain. He's out to his. He evades the tackle. He's now moving to his right. He's looking for anyone downfield. He'll try and take it himself. And he does it. He goes in for the score. It's touchdown Georgia Tech. Down goes Miami.
Amin Elhassan
Hey, good game, Mike. Good game. Really. You guys tried hard. I really respect as a competitor. No, no, for real. You guys really good. Like I think you guys have a chance. It's only one loss. It's not a big deal. Yeah, that's how you end it, guys. You gotta end it nice and subtle and polite and sportsman. Like after you talked all the shit the whole game long. When you win the game, he turns it. Hey, good game. Hey, good game. Yeah, no, you guys tried hard. You got a good game, you got a good team. I like your quarterback. He's good. Yeah, best of luck to you. Something, something, something and I drink my whiskey clear. I'm a rambling gambling hell of an engineer. Hey. Go Jacket, go Jack. Ladies and gentlemen, that was 17% of.
Chris Whittingham
Mac's asshole season's greetings podcast audience. It's Mike Ryan. And now is that time of year where you start hosting your family gatherings. Be it Thanksgiving, be it the upcoming holiday season, you're gonna have some folks in town, you're gonna be doing some entertaining. So why don't you make your family time a Miller time? It's the first thing that I roll out when I got guest over at the house, an ice cold bucket filled with that beautiful white can see. Miller time makes family time all the more special because for one thing, it's got taste that you can depend on. No games, no gimmicks, just a great beer. For people who like beer, Miller Lite is brewed for taste. It hits different than other light beers. It's got simple ingredients like malted barley for rich balanced toffee note flavors and an iconic golden color. And at just 96 California calories and 3.2 grams of carbs per 12 ounces miller time is always a good time, even during the festive times. Making memories at year end gatherings tastes like Miller time. Go to millerlite.com dan to find delivery options near you. Or you can pick up some Miller Lite pretty much anywhere they sell beer. Celebrate responsibly. Miller Brewing Co. Milwaukee, Wisconsin 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces for your calories and carbs and premium regular beer.
Podcast Summary: The Big Suey: Maximum Asshole
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz presents a dynamic and engaging episode titled "The Big Suey: Maximum Asshole." Hosted by Dan Le Batard and Stugotz, the episode traverses a variety of topics, blending humor, sports commentary, and pop culture insights. Below is a detailed summary capturing the key discussions, insights, and memorable moments from the episode.
Timestamp: [01:07]
The episode kicks off with Dan Le Batard extending a warm welcome to listeners, setting the stage for an array of discussions ranging from bizarre news stories to in-depth sports analysis.
Timestamp: [02:16] – [11:28]
A significant portion of the episode delves into the peculiar news of "40 monkeys being loose in South Carolina," a story that sparks both concern and humor among the hosts.
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Timestamp: [12:07] – [27:55]
Transitioning from the monkey saga, the show shifts focus to the NBA, particularly spotlighting former player JJ Redick and his recent statements about a potential presidential run.
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Insights:
Timestamp: [28:42] – [38:12]
In a creative and comedic turn, the hosts engage in a mock play-by-play segment titled "Maximum Asshole," featuring Chris Whittingham narrating a fictional Georgia Tech football game while Amin adopts the persona of an antagonistic fan.
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Timestamp: [38:12]
As the episode draws to a close, the hosts reflect on the creative and humorous segments they've delivered, reinforcing their signature blend of sports analysis and comedic banter.
"Maximum Asshole" is a testament to The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz's ability to traverse diverse topics with humor and insight. From dissecting bizarre news stories to entertaining mock sports commentary, the episode offers listeners a rich tapestry of discussions that are both engaging and thought-provoking. Memorable quotes and dynamic interactions between the hosts ensure that both longtime fans and new listeners find value and entertainment in every segment.
Notable Quotes Compilation:
This summary encapsulates the essence of the episode, offering a comprehensive overview for those who haven't tuned in while highlighting the show's unique blend of humor, sports insight, and engaging discussions.