Episode Summary: The Big Suey – Mazel Tov in Havana

Podcast: The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Episode: The Big Suey: Mazel Tov in Havana (feat. Dave Dameshek & Jonathan Zaslow)
Date: January 9, 2026

Main Theme

LIVE from the Elser Hotel in Miami, Dan Le Batard, Stugotz, and their rotating cast dive into a weekend packed with football drama, Miami sports identity, and the intersection of Cuban heritage, football culture, and, bizarrely, Jesus as a sports commentator. With special guests Dave Dameshek and Jonathan Zaslow, the crew celebrates the Miami Hurricanes’ dramatic bowl victory, debates what it means to “be Cuban” in Miami sports culture, and riffs through NFL playoff narratives with their trademark blend of mischief, regional pride, and irreverence.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Miami Hurricanes’ Wild Bowl Win (00:37–04:34; 27:13–28:27)

• Dan & Crew’s Raw Reactions:
  Dan recounts his nerves watching Miami’s defense unravel, noting how Chris Fowler’s call (“Miami has completely unraveled”) plunged him into panic (00:37).

  • “They had so many secondary players, one of them gets ejected…They're stuck with a bunch of guys who shouldn’t even be out there.” — Dan Le Batard (00:24)
  • The group laughs at how quickly Lane Kiffin’s assistants targeted Miami’s backup secondary, exposing the chaos and inexperience on the field.

• Significance for Miami Fans:
  Dan frames the Hurricanes’ win as both a throwback to Miami’s glory years and a symbol of community pride, emphasizing the “spiritual” weight of the victory (15:03–16:13).

• Realism vs. Euphoria:
  Dave Dameshek cautions Dan about enjoying the win too much given injuries and Ole Miss coaching turmoil:

  • “I think it’s great stuff. But…it’s a little undermined by the fact Ole Miss’s coaching staff may or may not have shown up for the game.” — Dave Dameshek (27:13)

2. Lane Kiffin/Lost Coaches and the Value of Coaching (04:34–07:47; 32:10–34:00)

• Postgame “Kiffinometry”:
  Dan and Dameshek break down whether Lane Kiffin’s absence truly cost Ole Miss the game, riffing about narrative and legacy.

  • “If Lane Kiffin was coaching that game, he would give you an advantage that would represent the result...What is Lane Kiffin worth?” — Dan Le Batard (31:59)
  • Zaslow asserts Kiffin “comes out smelling like roses…he gets to take with him to LSU now, hey, they couldn’t do it without me.” (33:14)

• Who was Kiffin rooting for?
  “I think that’s a fun question. What was Lane Kiffin really rooting for?” — Dave Dameshek (32:48), suggesting the awkwardness of rooting for your ex-team to win without you.

3. Cuban Identity in Miami Sports (03:08–04:34; 09:45–18:59)

• How “Cuban” Are You?
  Dan wonders aloud whether Dameshek and Zaslow can be made honorary Cubans—“We need Cuban representation.” (03:08)

  • The group jokes about how Zaslow could “pass” for a Cuban uncle with the right look: “Just put a cigar, a hat, loafers…he can just stand there and not say a word and be completely in.” — Tony (21:46)

• “Types of Cubans” Diagram:
  Jeremy creates a Cuban Venn diagram, explaining different Miami Cuban tribes. “Over here…are Mario Cristobal, Tony, Pipo…then over here, Dan, it’s you, me, and my brother.” (09:50)

• Honorary Cubans & “Jubins”:
  The group debates how you get “in” the Cuban club, with honorary status (and AI photos!) for Amin and others (18:20–18:59).

  • “My grandparents were born and raised in actual Havana, Cuba. Also Jews. Jubins.” — Jeremy (18:15)

• Community and The 'U':
  Dan notes Miami is unique: “The people who keep [the University of Miami] afloat…develop real community there” despite it being a small, private school (15:03).

4. The Super Bowl of Miami: Narrative, Symbolism, Rivalry (03:08–08:40)

• Dan’s Dream Scenario:
  Rooting for a “Cuban Super Bowl,” Dan wants the Hurricanes’ cultural factions and rivalries explained to America, including inter-Cuban rivalries:

  • “We have a real chance to teach America about what kind of Cuban you are and what kind of Cuban Zaslow can explain Cristobal is.” (03:09)

• Rooting Allegiances:
  “Miami residents who love football and the U and are Cuban and want to root for Fernando Mendoza are not allowed. I am laying it down. You choose!” — Dameshek, channeling The Incredibles (07:58)

5. The Jesus Angle: Faith, Sports, Blasphemy, and Satire (23:45–26:34; 40:23–41:23)

• Is Jesus a Playoff Field Goal Blocker?
  The crew jokes that “Jesus blocked [Tyler] Loop’s field goal”—courtesy wind gusts and divine intervention in sports (24:14–25:14).

  • “Put it on the poll: did Jesus Christ block Loop’s field goal to deny Derrick Henry the playoffs?” — Dan (24:55)
  • “You have [Jesus] dominating athletics in sandals.” — Dan, riffing off Chris and Jeremy’s jokes (25:47)

• Jesus as Sports Commentator:
  Calls for a recurring bit: “Color commentator…Jesus Christ” (26:17), complete with possible catchphrases like “Mazel tov in Havana” (26:34).

• Dameshek’s Toy Jesus:
  Dameshek regales with his story of adopting a Jesus toy figure he found at a park—“I stole Jesus. Was that wrong?” (40:40), before a digression about “adventures of Jesus” as an action figure.

6. Football Fandom, Heritage & Allegiances (19:59–22:46)

• Rooting for Home vs. Alma Mater:
  Zaslow admits, “If the U and Gators play…best for business is the Hurricanes. No one is listening to my show for the Gators” (20:05–20:15).
  • Dameshek weighs “family roots” in sporting allegiance—“The roots that go back to my old man and going to the games with my old man and Pitt stadium…” (20:27)

7. Bits, Banter, and Character asides

• Honorary Cuban status:
  The group debates who is “in” and “out” of various Miami/Cuban and “artist”/“Cristobal” identity circles (18:59–22:46).
• Cooking pigs in the backyard:
  Ribbing Zaslow as the “Cuban uncle” at the barbecue (21:20).
• Mike Ryan’s whereabouts:
  Quick update on Mike Ryan, whose family is "embedded" in UM culture—“He helped make them better over the last five years.” (15:03)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Dan Le Batard (on Miami’s nerves):
  • “I cannot remember the last time I was as scared around sports…as when Chris Fowler just barks, ‘And Miami has completely unraveled.’ The ice that blew through me!” (00:37)
• Dave Dameshek (on Cuba, football, and The Incredibles):
  • “When everyone is super, no one is…You are not allowed to root for both the U and Fernando Mendoza. Choose one or the other.” (07:58)
• Tony (on Zaslow as a Cuban uncle):
  • “We put Zaz in a little straw hat, cigar, loafers with socks…that guy can stand and not say a word and be completely in.” (21:46)
• Dameshek (on Jesus and sports odds):
  • “Why did he do that? I don’t know…He worked in mysterious ways, but he did.” (24:14)
• Dan (on the symbolism of UM football):
  • “A school is a symbol for its community…It’s another reason that Mario Cristobal and my father share that Cuban stereotype caricature. They were animals about ambition.” (16:13)
• Dameshek (on Lane Kiffin’s legacy):
  • “That’s sort of the Shakespearean tragedy of it…He had to be absolutely sick. I think Lane Kiffin comes out smelling like roses.” (32:10–33:14)
• Dan (on pass interference):
  • “They let it all go at the end…otherwise every play in that sport would just be throw the ball 50 yards and see if you could get pass interference.” (38:03)

Important Segment Timestamps

• Sports Nerve-Wracking Miami Finish: 00:37–01:55
• Cuban Venn Diagram & Identity Explainer: 09:45–10:46
• Honorary Cuban/Jubin Discussion: 18:15–18:59
• Lane Kiffin Coaching Debate: 32:10–34:00
• Jesus as Football Fixer (Satire): 24:45–26:34
• Miami Community & School Identity: 15:03–16:13
• ‘Best for business’ fandom admissions: 20:05–20:15
• Pass Interference & Ref Chaos: 38:03–39:35

Tone, Style, and Takeaway

True to Dan Le Batard Show form, the tone is fast, witty, self-deprecating, and comfortingly chaotic—a snarky love letter to Miami sports, football angst, and the city’s unique fusion of heritages. By episode’s end, listeners are left with a clearer sense of how Miami sports binds and divides its fans, the ever-pervasive role of narrative (and myth!), and why nothing—in football or in Miami—is ever just about the game.