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Dan LeBatard
The kids are still at practice, and.
Stugotz
I have no idea what's for dinner.
Dan LeBatard
You can get a rotisserie chicken and two sides for just $15 in as fast as an hour with Walmart express delivery. Who said that? Who's in my house?
Stugotz
Don't play with me.
Dan LeBatard
Cause I'm not the one. It's just your friendly Walmart announcer. This is a commercial.
Stugotz
Oh, okay. You were saying dinner for a family was just $15?
Dan LeBatard
Yep. It'll be at your door by the time you get the kids home from practice. Order now. Welcome to your Walmart.
Stugotz
Subject to availability restrictions and fees apply. Now that was a helpful commercial.
Dan LeBatard
It's Spring Black Friday at the Home Depot. So what are you working on? If you're sprucing up your lawn, you.
Chris Cody
Know there's no such thing as too much mulch, so don't miss this special. Buy five bags of Scott's EarthGrow mulch for only $10 at the home Depot. Promote healthier soil, prevent weeds, and beautify your yard with mulch that maintains its color for up to 12 months. Shop 14 days of deals during Spring Black Friday, now through April 16th at the Home Depot.
Dan LeBatard
Welcome to the Big Sui, presented by DraftKings. Why are you listening to this show, the podcast that seems very similar to the other Dan LeBatard podcast? I'm sorry. I'm not going to apologize for that. In fact, the only difference seems to be this imaging. I have been tempted in restaurants just walking past tables to grab somebody's fries if they're just there. That hasn't happened to you guys. I've done it. And now here's the marching man to nowhere, Fat Face and the Habitual Liar.
Mike Ryan
This episode of the Dan LeBatard shows Two Gots is presented by DraftKings. DraftKings. The Crown is yours.
Dan LeBatard
I'm realizing in sinking into the sewage that is looking at that photo and being terribly embarrassed, I am now remembering that Mike Ryan was taking me to that big popular race so that I could move and shake with hugely important people. That's how I dress to be, like, hobnobbing in the most exclusive of areas with the celebrities. Because Mike Ryan wanted to show Everybody how Dan LeBatard would look post ESPN. And that's how he looked, ladies and gentlemen.
Chris Cody
We showed him.
Greg Cody
Yeah, I think Mike needs to take a little ownership of his admiring finger pointed at Tyreek Hill. Like, look at that.
Dan LeBatard
That's not Tyreek Hill. Okay?
Chris Cody
This is.
Dan LeBatard
Oh, my God. All right, don't say it's your eyesight.
Greg Cody
I Don't have my glasses.
Dan LeBatard
Don't say it's your eyesight. Okay, get out of here.
Chris Cody
There was no photo lying.
Greg Cody
Okay, Just out, I bet.
Dan LeBatard
Out, out, out. Jesus. No, don't make it your glasses.
Greg Cody
No, no, it is my glasses.
Dan LeBatard
Don't make it your glasses. You weren't listening either, earlier in the show. We get out what was said. That Tyree Kill photo wasn't put out publicly. You need to get out.
Greg Cody
Oh, wow. I think it should be. I'll track it down and put it out.
Dan LeBatard
You should break it, Mike. You should leak it to him.
Chris Cody
I'm trying to see if it was ever on my phone. Random evidence of a cluttered blog item. Is that thing still around?
Mike Ryan
No.
Chris Cody
Oh, what a run.
Dan LeBatard
When did that die?
Chris Cody
I think it died, like, eight years ago, probably.
Dan LeBatard
Yeah.
Mike Ryan
No, I think when he's pandemic casualty around the podcast time, he's. He went from. Now he does podcasts.
Dan LeBatard
Chris, you are so disrespectful to knowledge about your father's career.
Mike Ryan
I know of it. I've seen of it. You thought I was still here, but.
Dan LeBatard
I'm not out here. Look.
Chris Cody
Okay, I have found more photos of very clearly. The SNL guy, though, that was cool.
Mike Ryan
Because he was looking at, like, oh, look at these guys.
Dan LeBatard
Wait a minute.
Mike Ryan
And now he would be the biggest star there.
Dan LeBatard
But can you guys. Can you guys please, like, what you're doing is really offensive. You say the SNL guy. Not only is he good, he's the one who did Immigrant dad dad with Chappelle. He's representing Miami in Young Comedy. And he has a name, but I don't know it. And we're being really disrespectful by not knowing it. Like, this is. This is a person in Miami who should matter to people as a funny person. Funny person bringing Hispanic humor to snl. And back then, he was just a young man looking up to his hero who was dressed that way.
Chris Cody
He's wearing a Lebo hat in this photo, too. He was a big fan.
Fat Face
We should have him on.
Dan LeBatard
Dan, is that Daniel Tosh?
Fat Face
Has to be.
Mike Ryan
It's not.
Stugotz
Wait, there's a comedian from Miami that we haven't had on the show that's on snl that went to the same.
Chris Cody
High school as Billy that likes Dan.
Dan LeBatard
Yeah. And he used to respect me, and I dress that way. And there's photographic proof forever. Cause the Internet is forever.
Stugotz
I'm trying to get the video team to put up side by side what I wore that day and what you wore. That day. Because, Dan, it is a. It's difficult to dress stylishly when it's 106 degrees with the heat index. I feel you. But there's a way to do it, and unfortunately, you failed.
Dan LeBatard
Yeah. I didn't know how to do it, and I am embarrassed by that.
Fat Face
That's elo, Dan. That's. That's what you were looking for. That's what you needed to wear, top to bottom. Elo Just everywhere.
Dan LeBatard
That looks good.
Stugotz
Yeah. Thank you.
Dan LeBatard
And it looks also like you wouldn't.
Stugotz
I was on ABC in that outfit.
Dan LeBatard
That also looks like it wouldn't be 100,000 degrees. Sweating through stuff. Fabric.
Stugotz
Yes. I'll teach you some pointers. Well, my wife has F1's back in Miami in three weeks.
Dan LeBatard
I'm embarrassed. Well, we've been invited to be out there. Jess, I asked about this. Do we know if Kristen has done anything? It seems like a very loud place to try to do this show. It seems like that would not be a great listening experience.
Stugotz
Pun intended. I think the wheels are in motion for F1 Miami this year, Dan, for.
Dan LeBatard
Us to do some stuff with them.
Stugotz
Yes. And now that I think about it, you started changing your personal style not too far after this photo was on the Internet. Are those two things connected?
Dan LeBatard
Well, no. What is connected to this? And I can't help but see it in all the photos, in all of the stress in my face and the fat. And this is when my brother was dying. Right. So, like, I'm. I'm wearing it, and so I'm trying to wear a disguise.
Mike Ryan
It's Lebo's fault.
Dan LeBatard
Well, and that's the.
Stugotz
Chris was trying to blame Valerie back.
Fat Face
Here shirt has a collar on it.
Mike Ryan
And you're just learning that.
Dan LeBatard
And the hat that I had on is the worst of my brother's hat. So I'm also embarrassed by that.
Chris Cody
But you did a hat swap there because you were getting along so well with Marcel.
Fat Face
Like a jersey swap, but a hat swap.
Chris Cody
Yeah, it's like. It's like that meme in Vegas. These guys partied so hard, they switched button down.
Stugotz
Oh, I love that meme.
Mike Ryan
Still showing the water to show how healthy you are. Like my dad pointed out before, I'm.
Chris Cody
So committed to the rock fingers, too. I'm just going to do the rock horns all day. All right.
Stugotz
There's also tequila in that bottle.
Dan LeBatard
Do you know?
Stugotz
Be honest, Mike.
Dan LeBatard
I don't know anything style. But, like. And I'm sure that your style was a good one.
Chris Cody
I came over from Officiating intramurals earlier. Beetlejuice.
Stugotz
Actually, that's a great point, Mike. We've retired that shirt since. Right.
Chris Cody
It might get back in the rotation. I've lost weight.
Dan LeBatard
Were you wearing a blousy shirt, too?
Chris Cody
No, that wasn't blousy at the time.
Dan LeBatard
Because that was. That was my blousiest.
Chris Cody
Fill that sucker out.
Dan LeBatard
Look, I know Chris and his dad wore some of those shirts on that cruise. That was dinner. Whenever. Whenever mom wants one night out. We're going to the damn cruise ship restaurant and you boys are going to dress up. I am certain that Chris Cody brought out one of the rumpled blousy shirts that fat men everywhere can identify with.
Mike Ryan
Where'd my dad go? I just realized that he got kicked out.
Dan LeBatard
It's the penalty box. Does he not know how.
Chris Cody
He's just chilling, watching the show.
Dan LeBatard
Does he not know that the penalty box. Two minutes for lying. How does he not know how the show works? How. How what does he. Please explain to me, producer son, explain to me what happened with your father. That he doesn't know a two minute penalty for lying and for making the mistake that two black men looked alike.
Greg Cody
When I wasn't wearing my glasses, which I now have on, by the way. My favorite part of the segment that I missed was you uttering the phrase the worst of my brother's hats. What's wrong with that hat? Why is it the worst of your brother's hats?
Dan LeBatard
It's ill fitting. It is a material that I don't like.
Chris Cody
Like, did you hit the hookah, like, during the break? What happened to your hookah, Doncic?
Greg Cody
I mean, I'm out of water here. I can't get a water in this place. There's no bottled water. You got to drink it out of a tap, Greg, there.
Stugotz
That's because your generation, we're saving bottles. Pillaged the earth of all of its natural resources. We're trying to save it one saved plastic bottle at a time.
Greg Cody
I'm in favor of that.
Chris Cody
Soon have less fluoride in favor of plastic. Finally.
Greg Cody
No, I'm in favor of water.
Chris Cody
You know, it's called the chemical, but it's a mineral.
Dan LeBatard
Mike, I want you to assemble the metal arc team to do two things here, okay? And I want you live to do this with Greg Cody. I want to do this right now. I'd like a camera to follow our beloved fossil into the kitchen to see if he can find how to make his own water. I just want you guys to go with him to see if he just Said it's hard to get water when he's been sitting not in the penalty box for seven minutes right next to water that could not be easier to get.
Greg Cody
I'd like a tap water.
Dan LeBatard
I'd like. No, please.
Chris Cody
Normally, I would say, of course he knows how to get water here, but he stayed at this hotel yesterday and had no idea how to get to our studio.
Dan LeBatard
Greg, let's do this.
Greg Cody
Buttons on the elevator.
Chris Cody
I don't need to. I don't need to have a live cam. We have enough cameras in place. So, like, go, Go bring back water.
Dan LeBatard
But I want to. I want to do this as a test real quick because, yes, Jess is right. Because your generation pillaged the earth and. And we're trying not to have. Not to have plastic all over the place.
Greg Cody
Right.
Dan LeBatard
And you say it's impossible to get a water in this place when I don't think there's anything more abundant in there than water.
Chris Cody
Be careful. You're in the same generation.
Dan LeBatard
Okay, But I know how to get water.
Chris Cody
That's true.
Greg Cody
I know how to get.
Mike Ryan
Good job, Dan.
Dan LeBatard
Go and go. Let's follow him. Let's follow Greg. Cody, Even though this is visual, but I also. Before you do this, I want an explanation.
Greg Cody
Yeah.
Dan LeBatard
You get penalized for two minutes.
Greg Cody
Right.
Dan LeBatard
There's a penalty box. That is a visual accompaniment and aid to you sitting in the penalty box. They put jokes behind you. That is where content is made. Do you not know these things? Why did you go to another room and then just sit there?
Greg Cody
Why? Reason.
Dan LeBatard
Why are you not wearing your headphones right now when you were about to.
Greg Cody
Send me out to get water? And then you go on a tangent. You're going down a side street here, Chris.
Mike Ryan
Wow, the voice.
Greg Cody
Chris, he's. He's the one agitating me.
Dan LeBatard
Chris, why is your father just.
Mike Ryan
I'll stop it there. I don't know.
Dan LeBatard
I'll. I will move on with the show in a moment. That Luka Doncic story is a cool one.
Greg Cody
Great story.
Dan LeBatard
I just want to understand someone who's trying to help us do the show. I send him to the penalty box. He wanders out and then sits on a couch for 10 minutes and watches our show, watches us work.
Greg Cody
When he segment. No, I enjoyed it.
Stugotz
Was Stugatz out there?
Dan LeBatard
Where is.
Greg Cody
I did not see him. That's a mystery to be solved. Tb.
Mike Ryan
Go get water.
Dan LeBatard
Mike, can we get an update? Go get water. And let me get to this Lucas story. Thank you. I'm sorry to our audience that this has been this discombobulated I really don't know where Stugatz went, and I'm confused.
Chris Cody
Let's reset. Call yourself again.
Stugotz
Stouffer Stovetop.
Mike Ryan
Let's try to hold the mic for him, guys, so that he can just be in his element trying to get water.
Dan LeBatard
Yeah, just keep the camera on him and don't give him anything other than a microphone. I'd like some play by play from him on. On just how he intends to get water. And you guys have heard him several times say he'll just go to the sink and get tap water. Right.
Stugotz
I wish we were doing this on April 1st so he could have gotten got by the bevy. April Fool's jokes. Chris.
Mike Ryan
Yeah, he's the worst. All right, dad, if you can hear us right now, start getting water. Show us your process to get water.
Dan LeBatard
But hold the mic, Greg, hold the microphone, please. Just hold your own microphone and be a professional broadcaster.
Greg Cody
First of all, I'm. I'm looking for bottled water. I don't see any. I see oat creamer.
Mike Ryan
Can't see rose at all.
Greg Cody
Oat creamer. Ridiculous. I see Coke, Sprite, Miller Light. That's tempting. Goat milk or oat milk? What is it? Half and half?
Chris Cody
Yeah, we don't need to read every item.
Mike Ryan
Yeah, you don't need.
Chris Cody
You don't need. You don't need to read every item.
Greg Cody
There's no water in here.
Chris Cody
There's a tequila. That invented tequila.
Mike Ryan
So look around. Now, if you were by yourself completely, right? If you had to get water now.
Greg Cody
I mean, there's tap water, like I said.
Dan LeBatard
All right, can we. Can we hold on just for a second? Just for a second?
Greg Cody
Warm.
Dan LeBatard
Louis, do me a favor.
Greg Cody
Ice cubes in here. Either.
Dan LeBatard
Greg, stop moving. Stop. Just stop moving. Louis, please turn off. I don't want him to be able to hear what I'm about to say next so that I can lead him around the room.
Mike Ryan
I got it.
Chris Cody
Simply take off your head.
Mike Ryan
No, no, I turned it off.
Chris Cody
All right, cool.
Mike Ryan
He should not be able to hear me.
Dan LeBatard
Now, the thing that I just want to tell the room here are. Do you guys think that he knows that the machine next to the fridge is something that dispense. That dispenses water?
Chris Cody
Yeah.
Dan LeBatard
He knows this.
Chris Cody
No, he was saying that he was sitting up like.
Fat Face
He doesn't drink water, though.
Chris Cody
Yeah.
Fat Face
I'm surprised he's actually drinking water now.
Stugotz
He's like a lizard.
Dan LeBatard
Yeah, he doesn't drink water. All his fluids.
Fat Face
It's only coffee.
Mike Ryan
Coffee and beer. Yeah.
Chris Cody
All right, so he's getting.
Dan LeBatard
Oh, God.
Fat Face
He's drinking the tap water. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. What are you doing, Greg?
Stugotz
Is the tap water in Miami not safe?
Fat Face
No. No tap water safe.
Mike Ryan
Can I turn it back on so he can hear us?
Stugotz
Yes, but his generation already has lead poisoning, also, to be fair.
Dan LeBatard
So hold on. He's back in the fridge. We asked where he always goes.
Fat Face
Still no water.
Mike Ryan
He can't not go to the fridge.
Dan LeBatard
We need him to be. We need him to get out of the fridge because he doesn't know he's in a dangerous space. And he doesn't.
Fat Face
He's right there. Wait, wait, hold on, hold on.
Chris Cody
Oh, he's like.
Dan LeBatard
What is. Turn his ears on. Turn to see your phone.
Mike Ryan
He can hear us again.
Greg Cody
Okay.
Dan LeBatard
All right, Greg, what do you got? Give us a play by play.
Greg Cody
Well, this thing here, it's got flavored sodas or something. Cucumber, watermelon, strawberry, lemongrass, but no water.
Mike Ryan
Okay, well, what's your favorite flavor?
Chris Cody
No water. So you think that's a. That's a soda dispenser?
Greg Cody
Yeah.
Chris Cody
All right, well, I don't see. Do you know how to work the soda dispenser?
Mike Ryan
Take it for a walk?
Greg Cody
No. Do I just press a button? Right?
Fat Face
What'd you pick?
Greg Cody
Greg just pushed strawberry lemongrass just out of.
Fat Face
Oh, lemongrass.
Mike Ryan
Now, is there any, like.
Dan LeBatard
No, he's got a pressure.
Chris Cody
There we go.
Mike Ryan
He pushed it once. He didn't hold it down.
Chris Cody
I think it's touch sense.
Greg Cody
Little guideline says hold to dispense. But again, no water. Okay.
Mike Ryan
What do you mean? That's water.
Chris Cody
We'll see.
Greg Cody
Lemongrass.
Chris Cody
Well, yep.
Greg Cody
Strawberry lemongrass.
Mike Ryan
Turn off the lemongrass. What do you think you get?
Dan LeBatard
Right? So wait, this is such. This is such a great thing. Greg, would you do me the favor, please? Just reading all those flavors of not water. Even though it's the most delicious water the earth has ever known. Just read all of the flavors, please, one by one.
Greg Cody
Okay. Strawberry, sunshine, black cherry, coconut, cucumber, key lime, lemon, strawberry lemongrass, and watermelon.
Mike Ryan
Key lime water.
Dan LeBatard
There's not more than that. That's all of them.
Chris Cody
Look at the top, though.
Greg Cody
Like, I mean, it says sparkling light, sparkling cold, ambient hot. Who would drink hot water?
Chris Cody
People that want to make tea, for example.
Greg Cody
Well.
Stugotz
Or oatmeal.
Greg Cody
Oat milk is more like it.
Chris Cody
What? It's really not.
Dan LeBatard
Do you realize that? Do you realize that I'm not kidding you? Do you. Do you understand? I need everyone to understand what was just witnessed. Okay? We Sent an old. We sent.
Mike Ryan
What's Dan doing back there?
Chris Cody
Hey, mission accomplished. So he got some water. He didn't know it was water and he doesn't. I don't think he knows exactly how to get just normal cold water from that thing that. That's here.
Greg Cody
Says the word water. Nothing on this screen says the word.
Mike Ryan
Trying to talk into your cup. You heard his. His voice was distant for a second. Pretty sure he held his cup.
Chris Cody
He definitely did that.
Dan LeBatard
Okay, why am I behind yourself?
Chris Cody
A normal water.
Dan LeBatard
You guys are amazing in television. Metal ARC has managed to clone me and now I am walking back behind Greg Cody watching him over there and I'm watching him from over here. And I think the funniest part of all of that, beyond us fearing that he would say the wrong sponsors name while looking into a fridge. You have to understand that what I just sent in there, dangerous and reckless, was a disc.
Greg Cody
Oh, he's got it.
Stugotz
You led a horse to water.
Greg Cody
It says watermelon. That's the only I said earlier, water is not anywhere on the screen other than in the word watermelon.
Chris Cody
Just fix yourself a normal.
Greg Cody
I have to admit, it does taste like water.
Chris Cody
Traditional glass. Can you get yourself an unflavored glass of water?
Mike Ryan
Pour out the flavored water. Pour out the flavored water. Walk back to the machine. Get it. Get a glass of normal water.
Chris Cody
Surely there has to be.
Fat Face
Oh, he poured it back into the actual bevy machine. Which you're not supposed to do.
Greg Cody
You can't do.
Chris Cody
It's got a drain. I've got a drain.
Greg Cody
Wow. It says vitamin boost. Look at that.
Mike Ryan
Take that for a walk.
Greg Cody
Okay, if I press sparkling, what do.
Mike Ryan
You think will happen?
Greg Cody
Let's find out.
Chris Cody
Only one way to find out.
Dan LeBatard
Is this cup in the right place?
Chris Cody
Is this good content?
Greg Cody
It's good water, I tell you that.
Mike Ryan
How'd the water change?
Greg Cody
Ooh, that's too much sparkling.
Chris Cody
It might be too much vitamin.
Greg Cody
Let me go. Light sparkling.
Dan LeBatard
Don't pour. Don't keep pouring it.
Greg Cody
Why not?
Chris Cody
I mean, that's where he's gonna pour it.
Dan LeBatard
Guys.
Greg Cody
Thank you. Light sparkling.
Chris Cody
We're literally trying to teach an old dog new tricks.
Greg Cody
Okay, but again, we don't know this is water.
Chris Cody
What I'm gonna say it's mostly water.
Greg Cody
It's pretty good. No, it's good, Greg.
Dan LeBatard
It's the finest of water and what I love about everything.
Chris Cody
It'S like Arnold Palmer on the course. Let him cook.
Greg Cody
That's great. Arnold Palmer. What a great interview I had with him years ago.
Chris Cody
I'd like to hear that.
Greg Cody
He wouldn't let me go. He wouldn't let me go talking into the cup. Arnold Palmer wanted to be interviewed. Anyway, I'm out of material.
Chris Cody
He was never actually able to pour himself a standard glass of water.
Dan LeBatard
So I want to. Forgive me for beating this joke to death, but I can't imagine how strange it has to be to be a fossil from the 1800s. Open a fridge and look into the future where people just refuse to drink milk made by a cow. And so Greg's looking into the future as his fossilized self and saying, where's the good stuff around here? Where's the bottled water that's not good for the environment?
Greg Cody
It's recyclable.
Dan LeBatard
I'm sure you're going to recycle that the way your son does on the way out when he throws it in the staircase.
Greg Cody
I recycle.
Dan LeBatard
Yeah. I'm sure you've taught him. And I'm sure the Cody's do a lot of recycling with everything. Like that bottle. We'll be very careful, both of them, to make sure that that bottle gets. Gets recycled.
Greg Cody
Christopher will tell you, one of the first parental tips I ever gave my kids was don't litter.
Mike Ryan
Which is why I left the cup.
Greg Cody
Inside, because do gooding starts at the ground floor.
Stugotz
You're such a little shit, Chris.
Mike Ryan
It's not littering. It's just. It's inside. Look, we're not doing this again.
Dan LeBatard
You put it on the. You put it on a staircase. You left the Starbucks plastic cup on a staircase as trash. A new staircase that didn't have any trash, not even an old Miami staircase because you couldn't be bothered to put it in a trash can. A lot of dust for anything you threw your guard. You littered on littering on our offices.
Greg Cody
Litter bug.
Mike Ryan
At some point, it became a science experiment.
Fat Face
It did. It started growing stuff. There was like, mold and things coming out of it. And then Chris kicked it over.
Dan LeBatard
Chris, would you get me a list, please, quickly, of top five tips your father has given you over your lifetime? Because that one you flagrantly disobeyed. You are not someone who has actually learned the few things your father has to teach.
Mike Ryan
I don't litter.
Dan LeBatard
Well, we have proof. You're the only one we have proof of in the history of this office. You're the single employee that we have proof does litter. The cup had your name on it.
Greg Cody
Yep.
Dan LeBatard
Like it can't be. More like it's not. I'm not a detective here. This Was you. You did not do the crime in a way that was anonymous. Like, we knew it was you. We spotted you. You came back from a vacation. We all called you on it. You've been proven guilty here. There's no room to maneuver.
Mike Ryan
I could have left it outside, could have walked out that door and thrown it on the street.
Chris Cody
Or there's a public garbage can.
Mike Ryan
There is no garbage can.
Stugotz
There's a garbage can in our office.
Mike Ryan
Yeah, but not in that stairwell.
Dan LeBatard
That's the other thing. He took seven steps from the garbage can. Like, that's the other thing about it.
Chris Cody
He literally had to pass a garbage can on his way to the stairwell.
Dan LeBatard
That's correct. He had a little more ice in the cup.
Mike Ryan
That door is locked. Like, if I walk back up, I got to knock on it to get back in. Like, I'm just like, I'll leave this here. I'll get it in a day or two.
Greg Cody
In fairness, there should be a garbage can in every stairwell.
Mike Ryan
There we go.
Greg Cody
There really should be.
Chris Cody
You walk into a public garage in Bayside. Surely there's a garbage can. Like, surely.
Dan LeBatard
Minor penalty.
Chris Cody
Two minutes for lying.
Dan LeBatard
Chris Cody, out of here.
Mike Ryan
I'm gonna sit out here like my dad.
Dan LeBatard
I'll get it. I'll get it in a day or two. I'm gonna put it down here, But I'm gonna remember in a day or two. You can't remember a video I made that I told you about four minutes ago?
Chris Cody
See if you can find Stu. Hey, folks, it's Mike Ryan. And if you're watching our show, you probably know and your boy has undergone a little bit of a body transformation. And I gotta tell you, Peloton has helped me on my fitness journey. It got the ball rolling for me because I watch my wife on the peloton. She takes all these great classes. She has her favorite instructors. I listen to the music. I'm a big music guy. Gets me fired up. Makes me want to take part in this fitness phenomenon known as peloton. Peloton offers a variety of challenging classes, from four week strength building classes to running, cycling, and everything in between. Peloton will help you achieve your goals and maybe you'll have some fun along the way. I know I have. It's backed by thousands of members whose lives have been changed. Be part of that group. Telling you I'm better for it. Have it in my office. Sometimes I can put on the baseball game. Sometimes I can put on a soccer match. Some other times, I'm totally locked in on an emo playlist Find YOUR PUSH Find your power with peloton@1peloton.com.
Fat Face
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Chris Cody
The.
Mike Ryan
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Stugotz
Birthday going so far?
Greg Cody
I invented it. It's going fantastic. My wife and I are staying home tonight. We're watching the debate on tv. We're gonna do something special for baby. It's a. It's a nice day for me so far.
Dan LeBatard
Stugats.
Stugotz
That sounds like a. Not a super nice night. The debate.
Greg Cody
Old people love that shit. Yeah, that's exactly right. Yeah, that's exactly right. Old people do love that shit. And I'm old now. I can't deny it anymore.
Fat Face
Now this is the Don Levatar show with the Stugach.
Dan LeBatard
Luka Doncic in that story last night, a superst making a basket with tears in his eyes. Regular season game. Regular season doesn't matter. Regular season is stupid. Who cares what I saw last night? The power of sports. The power of the story is two human beings who probably care a great deal about being great at basketball. Anthony Davis and Luka Doncic. Both of them enjoying in the middle of like, all our humanity. The story that shocked us all so much. Hey, let's check out that regular season game. I want to see what Luca has to do in his return to Dallas. Will Dallas behave? Will we chant at Nico? Oh, this is a fun story. Remember where you were when everyone was shocked because what Luke has been traded now? The humanity of this. Making Dallas fans miss what they had. Because he has his best game as a Laker. Like the coolest game as a Laker. The game. Luka will not play many games the remainder of his career that feel the way that that one do. Maybe, maybe not ever will he play a game that feels the way that one does? Because a couple months ago we were all shocked. Now imagine how that shock lands on the two principals, Anthony Davis and Luka Doncic. Like, we were all shocked. We're going to tune in two months later to be like or however many weeks later. How's this going to affect them? And Anthony Davis, one of the greatest basketball players I've ever had the pleasure of watching. You can make fun of him if you want. He's injured all the time. Whatever. One of the 50 best I've ever seen. Reduced to the size of a postage stamp with the size of the night. And however it must have hurt if LeBron did indeed lie to him. But I didn't know anything. Thanks for helping me the last few years. I'M going to go the rest of the way with someone better than you. Because business, baby, is hard, huh? I'm going to just lie. Maybe I lied to you, maybe I didn't. But Anthony Davis probably hurt somewhere in there because there's a human being in there, but the Luca human being, and this one was so interesting to me. I'm not going to say this league is plagued by foreigners being greater at basketball than Americans are, but when people are coming over from other countries and trying to sell their personality to us in their second language, some of them, like Giannis, can do it in, fight through it. Jokic doesn't seem to care too much about it. This guy we don't actually know in any meaningful way except like, holy shit, that's great at basketball. Now Dallas knows him. Dallas feels like it knows him because they have more of those little interviews and the little personality, and they know the reporting and they care. But the world knows. Luka Doncic, but doesn't really know him. Dallas knows him, and Dallas has a relationship with him. And that relationship was shocked, shocked in a way that people will not forget. Mark Cuban, brave and bold. I never would have done that, backing away from it, because Mark Cuban knows. Oh, that's the power of sports. That's the power of connection. Oh, look, a regular season game. A guy does care because the fans have moved him with a video after. You know, the Heat made that video real quick for Jimmy Butler. It was going to be longer than that, and then it was like, no, no, no, make it shorter than that. Let's cut that out. Let's get it out real quick. Dallas moved Luca last night, and he makes a basket, wiping tears from his eyes. Are you shitting me? You're going to tell me these guys don't care? He's too fat, he's lazy. He. He got that good. Fat and lazy.
Greg Cody
That was a moment, you're right. I didn't see it live. I've seen it on replay two or three times. And that. That is the power of sports. And the Dallas fans should be proud of themselves for the reaction they gave to him, which moved him to okay.
Dan LeBatard
But it's not just the power of sports. Forgive me for a second. It's the power of stories. And it's hard to tell them in your second language, like, what's happening in that league with the greatness, as people say. I don't like Jokic's style. Talking about. What are you talking about? It's the most unstoppable thing that you've ever seen offensively. Unless it's Luca and these guys are distorting the sport. But at this moment, you've seen this guy play a ton of basketball. You know he cares. You've seen him emotional. You've seen him celebrate himself. You haven't seen him move to tears in a way that's just totally human. Totally human. In that sport where nobody's moved to tears, you got to be tougher than everybody else. You have to be like. You have to be physically stronger.
Chris Cody
Easy. It's basketball. Stop. Tougher than everybody else.
Fat Face
Mr. NASCAR over here.
Chris Cody
Come on. Mr. Every other sport. Yeah, watch some moves, buddy.
Fat Face
How about you Watch some.
Chris Cody
You know what they.
Greg Cody
Last night was special.
Fat Face
Last night was a where were you?
Chris Cody
Moment. I did watch where were you? I watch it on. I was on my couch. Inter Miami had the main. Main screen. Luca and his return had top left. Macklin, Celebrini versus Kirill the Thrill. Caprizov had the other screen on mute. By the way, Macklin had a hat trick. He's gonna be a top five player.
Mike Ryan
Last night was a where were you? Game.
Fat Face
It was. It was.
Chris Cody
No, no, it was a moment in time.
Dan LeBatard
Where were you?
Fat Face
I was at home watching the game.
Chris Cody
I made sure that the audio was on for the tribute and the start of it. To hear Fire Nico and all the Luca chants. It was. It's one of the few that sport does has a. As we've covered for years now, has a regular season problem. It's not often where there's a regular season game that feels like you actually have to watch. They pulled that off. It took the dumbest trade in the history of the sport to do that, to draw my eyes to it. But yeah, I was there. I was locked in for it and then got put on mute because, you know, there was another pretty great athlete in a sport that you might actually have to be tougher in physically in soccer. That's right, Soccer. You have to be tougher.
Fat Face
This is a basketball segment. Hold on, hold on. So if I put you all the players in the NBA and I give you a choice, what player would. Would give that emotion, right? With a. With a trade, with leaving, with coming back. Dallas and Luka had a special relationship where the only thing we've really seen to that degree is when Clay came back to Golden State, where they had a very big celebration for him. There were the captain Clay hats like it was a very happy thing. No other player had draws that kind of emotion.
Chris Cody
I remember when Dwight came back to Orlando for the first Time.
Fat Face
That wasn't a where were you?
Chris Cody
Moment. Do you remember the.
Fat Face
I do remember.
Chris Cody
Wasn't the whole, like, loyalty, like play? That Dwight Howard, he just happens to.
Stugotz
Remember where he was. It's different.
Fat Face
I was probably at home. I was probably home.
Chris Cody
Okay. Like Vince's return to Toronto, there have been big returns where everyone's kind of locked in, where, you know, there will be a vocal crowd, there's emotion attached, be it positive or negative. There are moments like that. It's not often, especially with a. I mean, Lucas in his prime. It's. It's.
Stugotz
Let's clarify. It's a where were you moment for fans of the NBA, Correct?
Chris Cody
Yeah. I don't think I'll remember exactly where I was. I'll remember that I watched it.
Fat Face
I've got a top five of where were you moments in the NBA. You guys want it?
Stugotz
Is this on the top five? Ooh, I want to find out.
Chris Cody
I remember where I was when Dwyane Wade returned to Miami. We don't like to talk about it. Could it make it?
Fat Face
I don't know. Dan, you want the top five?
Dan LeBatard
I'm not sure if I want that top five. I need to think about this for a second because if we're going to rank that in terms of moments, I will say that Luke is going to have a career with an unfathomable number of moments. And he will never forget that. That one like that will be very high. Making a basket with tears in your eyes, showing America more of yourself than you've ever shown in a game we were all watching, is the power of stories. It's not just the power of sports like this. This sport has been great at trafficking in the stories as we don't care about regular season basketball. Introducing us to stars who have revealed themselves to us more than the guys in football, more than we. The NBA, to the degree that it has been altered by these physical freaks who have totally changed the way the sport is played and makes it more majestic athletically than it's ever been. Like, it's crazy when. When I tell you that Steph Curry might as well be doing all of that on an actual magic carpet and that he's doing it among giants like Giannis and Jokic. The whole thing is absurd. And this player, Stan Van Gundy, says the best offensive player ever hasn't been. So with the Lakers. Try and figure it out with LeBron, the smartest player in the history of the league. How do I figure out how this fits and stop going 6 for 19 from from the floor and 1 for 7 from 3, which is the stat line. It was weird to see the stat lines. Then he has his best game going back emotionally to Dallas. Like has a game where you're like, oh, that's what it's going to look like for the Lakers for 10 years as soon as LeBron leaves, if he doesn't get fat.
Chris Cody
It's an incredible moment. I can't even imagine what the tickets were going for. Although if I had the gametime app, I'd probably know. That's right. This was the hottest ticket in town in Dallas, I assume. And there was probably. Primary market was long since sold out. But on the secondary market, there's only one place to go to know where you get the best deal. Download the Gametime app, create an account and use code DAN for $20 off your first purchase terms apply. Download game time today. Last minute tickets, lowest price guaranteed. All in pricing too. No surprises at checkout.
Greg Cody
You know what I loved about that last night was that it, it changed everyone's perception about Luca. It humanized him. It made him likable. He's.
Mike Ryan
What are you doing with Luca?
Chris Cody
No, no, no, I'm with, I'm with.
Fat Face
He's always been likable though.
Chris Cody
He's. I've always liked him. But there, there aren't many connection points. And that was like, that was. That was Luca connecting to an audience in a profound way that we hadn't quite experienced. If you just follow the sport.
Mike Ryan
Yeah, but I feel like we got that like his interview with the Lakers the week after he was traded.
Stugotz
I agree with Chris. Like, yeah, I think sad. I think like the entire trade week was pretty heartbreaking and we saw this level of emotion from him then. So to see him come back, I think it adds weight because we already know how meaningful the city was to him and how he was really just taken aback and stunned by the trade. So when he came back, they played the video for him. He was emotional and then he ended up having a. A fantastic game. He played great. The Lakers won. And I think it just sort of like at least in this season, solidified what an insane move this was for Dallas to make.
Fat Face
I think the other thing too is the sport moves fast. But he was single handedly brought them to the NBA finals last year too. Like, that was his real, like, coming on. I was like, all right, this is Luca. This is a guy who can drag a team in Dallas who nobody thought would make it to the NBA finals, to the NBA final.
Dan LeBatard
Oh, not just. No, just so, you know, the most surprised I was last year is when Dallas got past okc, because I thought what OKC is this year is what they were about to become last year, and Lucas would stop that. OKC goes to Dallas, loses game six. I thought, okc. I'm like, OKC is better. Oh, no. Luke is better. Lucas. Lucas more experienced, even though he's young, too. The thing that I found most interesting about all of this, though, in the center of it, the core of it, we were shocked when it happened because they traded the player, Luca, and those fans are shocked because they traded that relationship. Like, that's the thing. It's not just, oh, it's seismic as a transaction, lacking the humanity, where all of us are like, oh, holy shit. But what you tore apart when you tore that guy from that fan base disrespects the relationship. It disrespects what a sports icon can be in a community. And so the tears in his eyes, like, it's just the most human of how it is that you arrive at our international game being global, when the guy in his second language shows you more with the tears in his eyes than he ever has in an interview.
Fat Face
I think the other thing, too, is Dallas having the history and the legacy of Dirk being there for 21 years, Dirk being the flag bearer for the Dallas Mavericks and for that city for so long, never going to another team. Like, being the international face of basketball for a long time. Luka was supposed to be that next step of the generation. He was gonna be there his entire career. And it just felt like that was the lineage that all of a sudden, Nico Harris was like, yeah, we'll send you to LA for scraps.
Dan LeBatard
What were the best parts and where it is that you guys enjoy? The drama of Nico and the drama of just. We're tuning in for the theater, right? Like, the only things that matter about that game, the only things are there's one thing on the marquee, how does Luca do? And the second thing, a far distant one. And I'm telling you, it had to be hard to be him last night. Anthony Davis off in the corner in the shadows, is like a small thing that was crushed by that. Like, that man's career has been a really good career. And he's mocked as always, injured and whatever else you say about him. And I wouldn't be surprised if somewhere in there, Anthony Davis doesn't actually become the player we ever expect him to, because we disrespect these relationships when we just trade guys like this Dan As.
Fat Face
A question, the Anthony Davis thing, like his, is he not the exact player that we thought he was going to be? Like, he's won a title. He's been an incredible player at NBA, All Star. All Star, first team. Like, he is who we thought he was going to be.
Chris Cody
I thought he would be a little bit better, but I mean, he delivered on. He delivered. No doubt.
Stugotz
He's a 10 time All Star's incredible.
Dan LeBatard
He was a great player.
Chris Cody
He was a great. He won them a championship by all of a sudden shooting like Ray Allen inside a bubble. I mean, no, he had a great moment that'll be remembered uniquely because of the bubble. But no, he's a great player, but he was like a distant third in terms of storylines. Correct me if I'm wrong, didn't he already have like the Mavs had played in la?
Fat Face
Yeah, the Mavs. The Mavs played in la.
Chris Cody
He had his moment. This was all about Luca. And then second place was Nico Harris.
Mike Ryan
Oh, yeah.
Chris Cody
And the job that the director had to do in trying to track down Nico, who was hiding from the cameras, who's shielding himself with other people blocking his view, which was obstructed, but he still had to be out there as chance rained down continually. It's not just unique to that Luca return game. It's been going on all season. Hell, it's been going on at Medieval Times.
Stugotz
Fire Nico, which still tickles me. The thing that got me down, it wasn't anything that happened on the court.
Dan LeBatard
It was.
Stugotz
Well, I guess it did technically happen on the court. It was his interview after the game where he was like, I get to sleep in my bed tonight. I was like, oh, my chest.
Dan LeBatard
The stakes that we put on all of this stuff, I don't know. I don't know if anyone is going to. I don't know. Do people feel bad for Nico or is he just punchline as a.
Stugotz
As like a human being? Like, yeah, it would be terrible to have an entire tree because you did something that you probably are, I'm assuming, second guessing, at least to some degree. And. And maybe if it does turn out that you did the. Maybe the right thing, it won't be for like six years. And also, you still probably could have gotten more fruit.
Chris Cody
And let's just say there is a scenario here where Niko has taken all the heat for something ownership decided. He doesn't make that move without ownership feeling strongly about this. That is a move that you have to have your convictions about. And Niko is like taking the entire brunt of it as a new ownership group which follows a very popular owner, just kind of lets Nico out to dry. In this scenario, I think it was.
Fat Face
More Nico than anything else. I think the Dumont family and the Adelson family have kind of, like, let him do his thing. He's had trades that have worked out in the past, but this one, they were like, all right, are you sure?
Dan LeBatard
Well, are you sure?
Chris Cody
But my point is, even if that's not the case, we wouldn't know. And, like, yeah, there's a case that he should just be wearing a hot dog costume the entire time because he's a person that did this.
Dan LeBatard
Okay, but can we just for a second, though, because surely you guys find this part of it interesting, I would think, in the construct of where sports teams connect to their regions and what it means to be a sports owner. Mark Cuban was a sports owner who not only loved basketball, but also understood how rare and valuable it is to have a star like that who already has a relationship with your city. So you go from that owner to Mark Cuban, one of the most powerful, richest men in the world in today's America, getting swallowed by an ownership group that's very different and is not going to respect that relationship or anything about it that way. Hey, Nico, you're in charge, all right? Go down there and just do whatever has to be done to, like. Let's make this a little. What he said. Too much hookah. Okay, get him out of here. He's been drinking beer. What? Yeah, no. He's a top five player all time offensively, And Stan Van Gunn, he says the best he's ever seen offensively, and he's 25 years old, and you need to have that for 10 years. Yeah, just trade that. And now new ownership does what? It really wildly disrespects the previous relationship, blasphemes against it, and feels like it doesn't care about its customers. So you get protests in the street.
Stugotz
And also, I wasn't saying this, but some people were saying Mark Cuban hugging him on the court after the game was a little. Look at me, Louie. I'm not saying that, though.
Dan LeBatard
Why? Why wouldn't you say that?
Stugotz
Someone else said it.
Chris Cody
Look at me, Louie.
Dan LeBatard
It's been fun to watch Mark Cuban squirm around just like, yeah, they own it now. I don't have any power. They did the bad thing. You guys still love me. No, please.
Fat Face
Folks, listen up.
Mike Ryan
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Chris Cody
Folks, it's Mike Ryan. And do you know that Miller Lite has basically been a partner of this show for almost 20 years? And as we celebrate 50 years of Miller Light, that means for a large chunk of it. And look, I didn't go to school for math, but I'm pretty sure that's like 80% of the time that Miller Light's been existing. They've been with our show. And I'm so grateful for it because we truly believe this. If you listen to us back in our radio days, throughout our times in national radio, to the pirate face to now, you know that Miller Light has been a huge supporter of ours. And I've always been a huge supporter of Miller Lite. Why? Because it's got tastes. You know, you can depend on a great beer. Trusted by beer lovers for 50 years, Miller Lite Great Taste. 96 calories. Go to millerlight.com dan to find delivery options near you or you can pick up Miller Lite pretty much anywhere they sell beer. It's Miller time. Celebrate responsibly. Miller Brewing Co. Milwaukee, Wisconsin. 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces.
Podcast Summary: The Big Suey — Oat Creamer and Strawberry Lemongrass Water
Release Date: April 10, 2025
Podcast: The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Episode: The Big Suey: Oat Creamer and Strawberry Lemongrass Water
In this episode of "The Big Suey," Dan Le Batard and Stugotz dive into a mix of humorous antics, personal anecdotes, and in-depth sports analysis. The show kicks off with light-hearted banter about dinner plans, leading into a memorable segment involving a quirky attempt to fetch water, followed by a heartfelt discussion on Luka Doncic’s emotional moment during a pivotal Dallas Mavericks game. The hosts seamlessly blend comedy with insightful commentary, ensuring an engaging listen for both regular fans and newcomers.
The episode begins with Dan and Stugotz reminiscing about an old, embarrassing photo of Dan, highlighting his fashion missteps post-ESPN era. The conversation quickly turns into a playful critique of Dan’s attire, showcasing the camaraderie and teasing between the hosts.
Dan Le Batard (00:05): "I'm realizing sinking into the sewage that is looking at that photo and being terribly embarrassed."
Greg Cody (02:19): "You need to get out."
The discussion underscores the personal challenges Dan faced, including coping with his brother's passing, which added depth to the light-hearted teasing.
One of the standout segments features Greg Cody attempting to fetch water from a high-tech dispenser that only offers flavored options, leading to a series of comedic failures. The hosts mock Greg’s struggle, turning it into an entertaining game that highlights generational differences and the complexities of modern appliances.
Dan Le Batard (16:38): "I want everyone to understand what was just witnessed."
Greg Cody (12:25): "There's no water in here."
The segment not only provides laughs but also subtly comments on environmental concerns, as Stugotz mentions saving plastic bottles:
Despite Greg’s best efforts, the dispenser’s limited offerings leave him perplexed, culminating in a humorous yet relatable scenario for listeners.
Transitioning from comedy, the hosts delve into a significant sports story: Luka Doncic’s emotional basket during a crucial Dallas Mavericks game. They analyze the impact of this moment on Luka’s legacy and its effect on both him and the fanbase.
Dan emphasizes the human aspect of Luka’s actions, arguing that such moments transcend mere statistics and highlight the emotional bonds between players and fans.
The discussion touches on Luka’s role in transforming the Mavericks, his connection with the city, and the broader implications of his emotional display on his career and the team’s dynamics.
Throughout the episode, the hosts interweave discussions about environmental sustainability and generational differences. Stugotz points out the younger generation’s effort to reduce plastic waste, while Greg and Chris Cody bring humor to the challenges of adapting to new technological conveniences.
These conversations add a layer of social commentary, reflecting the hosts' awareness of broader societal issues while maintaining the show’s signature humor.
"The Big Suey: Oat Creamer and Strawberry Lemongrass Water" is a testament to Dan Le Batard and Stugotz’s ability to blend humor with meaningful discussions. From poking fun at personal style mishaps to exploring the emotional depths of a star athlete’s moment, the episode offers a well-rounded listening experience. The hosts’ dynamic interactions and insightful commentary make this episode both entertaining and thought-provoking.
Dan Le Batard (00:03): "You can get a rotisserie chicken and two sides for just $15 in as fast as an hour with Walmart express delivery."
Stugotz (05:00): "My wife has F1's back in Miami in three weeks."
Dan Le Batard (10:05): "I'm embarrassed by that."
Greg Cody (12:25): "There's no water in here."
Dan Le Batard (16:38): "I want everyone to understand what was just witnessed."
Stugotz (36:05): "He played great. The Lakers won."
Dan Le Batard (26:26): "The power of sports. The power of the story is two human beings."
Stugotz (08:43): "We're saving bottles. Pillaged the earth of all of its natural resources."
This episode masterfully balances humor with heartfelt moments, offering listeners both laughs and meaningful insights into the world of sports and beyond.