The Big Suey: Rose's Cigarettes

Summary

The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz

The Big Suey: Rose's Cigarettes

Date: January 19, 2026
Location: Elser Hotel, Downtown Miami
Hosts: Dan Le Batard, Stugotz, with Chris Cote, Mike Ryan, Lucy, Damek, Gavin Matthew, Fernando Mendoza, Dave Damashek, Tony, Rose

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Episode Overview

This episode finds the crew at their irreverent, freewheeling best in the Elser Hotel, tackling the fallout from dramatic NFL playoff games, the persistent woes of star quarterbacks and coaches, and the uniquely Miami mix of local color and social dynamics. From deep dives into football heartbreak and the “curse of Sposta” to a hilarious investigation into a team member’s chain-smoking escapade, the show blurs the line between sports talk, comedy, and Miami cultural love-letter.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Bills Playoff Loss & Josh Allen's Burden

Timestamps: 01:42 – 12:39

• Sean McDermott’s Firing & Josh Allen’s Playoff Record:
  • Dan highlights McDermott’s unexpectedly abrupt firing despite a stellar record (98-52, five AFC East titles).
  • The consensus: in the NFL, having an elite quarterback shields a coach—until it doesn’t.
• Josh Allen’s Burden:
  • Allen’s emotional locker room interview features heavily; teammates take his “I let my teammates down tonight” personally ([03:32]).
  • Dan (05:07): “Mark Sanchez has four road playoff wins. Josh Allen has one...Allen hasn’t done what needs to be done in the moments that matter.”
  • Statistical oddities: Josh Allen could become the first ever to need eight playoff appearances to reach his first Super Bowl ([05:37]).
• Quarterback Wins & Their Legacy:
  • Chris: “Josh Allen, Lamar Jackson, Joe Burrow, CJ Stroud... Marino Island is going to be overrun the next decade with these high end quarterbacks who may get a gold jacket but ain’t gonna get no Lombardi.” ([07:02])
  • Dan: “Some of this stuff can be random, right?... but you gotta lose the games for people to remember” ([08:29]).
• Turnovers, Refereeing, and What Sticks:
  • Criticism of Allen for both keeping the Bills in games and for costly turnovers.
  • Refereeing noted as a major talking point, but Dan insists: the story is “Josh Allen loses. Not anybody winning.”

2. NFL Officiating Woes & Subjectivity

Timestamps: 09:24 – 13:42, 32:11 – 36:04

• Pass Interference is “the worst penalty in sports” ([09:24] – Damek):
  • Discussion of the arbitrary nature of spot fouls and the absurdity of putting outcomes in the hands of officials.
• Reviewing Catches, Interceptions, and “What Even Is a Catch?”
  • Dan: “In my lifetime, that has never been an interception” ([32:11]).
  • Chris Cote explains: the letter of the law was followed, but it still felt wrong.
• Fan Outrage & Subjectivity:
  • Dan: “We don’t have judges just to enforce rules. We have them to interpret them” ([34:24]).
  • Reaction depends on which way a call goes—Bills fans’ pain would not be mirrored if the decision had gone their way.

3. Randomness and Legacies in the NFL Postseason

Timestamps: 12:39 – 15:17, 17:34 – 19:48

• Luck, Sample Sizes, & Over-interpretation:
  • Bears lead NFL in turnovers forced, get zero in the postseason ([17:34]).
  • Caleb Williams’ miraculous and bizarre goal-to-go play—greatness sometimes still falls short.

4. Miami Local Color & Lucy’s Top Five

Timestamps: 20:22 – 25:17

• Lucy’s “Top 5 Things I Miss About Miami” (and a local’s insight)
  1. Cheap Ubers
  2. Favorite coffee shop (Bob Bobby Bo’s pistachio matcha latte)
  3. The murals and bright, art-deco colors
  4. Babysitting Mike Ryan’s daughter
  5. Cafecito (Cuban coffee) and its hilariously electric effects
     • Lucy: “The first time I ever had that, when I drove home, I couldn't stop honking” ([24:07]).
• Miami’s Unique Colors: Pink, blue, green—distinct from other cities, giving Miami its unique flavor.

5. The Rose Cigarettes “Chain Smoking” Saga

Timestamps: 21:56 – 22:52, 22:52 – 24:26, 37:52 – 40:19

• Lucy’s “vocal fry” traced to Rose’s chain smoking at Las Rosas bar.
  • Lucy: “She was blowing it right into my face… I have to talk this week. I’m not going to be smoking” ([21:58]).
  • Mike: “None of us knew that Rose was a chainsaw… something about Saturday night chain-smoking” ([22:09]).
  • Group interrogates Rose about this “rare” bender.
• Rose’s Defense:
  • Rose: “I just smoke when I’m partying” ([38:36]).
  • Lucy, dryly: “You did blow the smoke into my face.”
  • Mike Ryan: “You also left at one point to get a new pack of cigarettes”
  • Dan: “You cannot generally be trusted to not blow smoke in the face of others” ([37:52]).

6. More Playoff Recaps and Local Football Hype

Timestamps: 25:51 – 27:53, 40:34 – 41:52

• Analysis of massive linemen, with Trent Brown noted as the NFL’s largest active player ([25:51]).
• Anticipation for the University of Miami’s national championship game.
  • Damek: “This is one of the biggest nights in the history of South Florida when it comes to sports… as an underdog, a significant underdog. This has potential to be one of the greatest nights of our lives as a sports fan down here.” ([41:49])
  • Chris: “Not acceptable… Your heart and gut will disagree with your… with what your brain tells you at the end of the game.” ([42:12])

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Dan Le Batard (on Josh Allen):

  • “He took over a team that hadn’t made the playoffs in 18 years… and now he is fired… because he’s got a great quarterback and all his players are crying in the locker room.” ([01:52])

• Chris Cote (on QB discourse):

  • “The idea that Dan Marino is a one-off… Marino Island is now going to be overrun…with these high end quarterbacks who may get a gold jacket but ain’t gonna get no Lombardi.” ([07:02])

• Lucy (on Cafecito):

  • “The first time I ever had that, when I drove home, I couldn’t stop honking...I gotta chill out with this.” ([24:07])

• On officiating randomness:

  • Dan: “We don’t have judges just to enforce rules. We have them to interpret them.” ([34:24])

• Rose (defending her smoking):

  • “I just smoke when I’m partying. Yes.” ([38:36])
  • “It was a good amount.” (on how many cigarettes) ([38:56])

• Dan (on officiating subjectivity & emotion):

  • “If I had ruled that a catch, Broncos fans would be less upset than Bill’s fans are… that is a bit baffling…” ([35:05])

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Bills/Josh Allen dilemma: 01:42 – 12:39
• Officiating & NFL rules chatter: 09:24 – 13:42, 32:11 – 36:04
• Lucy’s “Top 5 Things I Miss About Miami”: 20:22 – 25:17
• Rose cigarette “investigation”: 21:56 – 22:52, 37:52 – 40:19
• Anticipation for Miami’s championship moment: 40:34 – 41:52

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Tone and Atmosphere

Irreverent, banter-heavy, layered with Miami references and inside jokes. The tone is breezy and argumentative; hosts oscillate between mock-serious football debate and farcical inquiries into interpersonal mysteries (like “Who gassed Lucy’s vocal cords?”). Local color, both literal (the art deco palette) and figurative (cafecito-induced car honking), permeates the conversation.

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Summary Takeaways

• The episode skillfully mixes serious football postmortems (Bills, Josh Allen, NFL officiating) with the kind of comedic Miami-centric anecdotes and group in-jokes that define the show’s identity.
• Emotional reactions in sports (coaches fired, quarterbacks weeping, fans outraged) are put under Le Batard’s distinctive, skeptical microscope.
• Lucy’s “lost voice” turns into a show-long comedy thread about party life, cigarettes, and Miami nightlife norms.
• The looming local National Championship game in Miami adds a sense of occasion and excitement.

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If you missed the episode, listen for:

• A nuanced, sometimes irreverent breakdown of why stars like Josh Allen struggle to shed their postseason "curse"
• A running gag-turned-soap-opera about Rose’s nightlife and Lucy’s suffering
• Colorful celebrations (and roasts) of Miami’s quirks and lifestyle
• Lively football arguments, with the show’s trademark blend of sports expertise and absurdity

Transcript

[Mike Ryan]

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[Dan Le Batard]

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[Chris Cote]

Daddy Yatu sabe?

[Damek]

This episode of the Dan Lebatard show is presented by DraftKings. DraftKings. The Crown is yours.

[Dan Le Batard]

The longest tenured coach in the AFC east is now Mike Vrabel.

[Dave Damashek]

Whoa.

[Dan Le Batard]

Yeah. That was a little over 300 days ago. That 350. 50 days ago that Frable was hired. McDermott's record is crazy. This kind of coach usually doesn't get fired. When I put this in front of you. 98 and 52 AFC title game appearances, five AFC east titles, a winning percentage of.662 that ranks 15th of all time, third among active coaches. And here's the killer. He took over a team that hadn't made the playoffs in 18 years. 18 years they had not made the playoffs. And now he is fired. And the reason he's fired is because he's got a great quarterback and all his players are crying in the locker room because they lost again.

[Chris Cote]

But also, didn't he survive because he has the superhero quarterback? Josh Allen and I have long contended that there is no head coach who would be exposed more quickly without that superhero quarterback than Shaman.

[Dan Le Batard]

Well, he's. Josh Allen is the reason they were in the game. And he's also the reason they lost the game. You cannot turn the ball over her that way. You saw what the champion Eagles were doing with Jalen Hurts. Jalen Hurts didn't have that many turnovers over a 10 game spread because I thought they had coached the reckless out of Josh Allen. He was awful yesterday and. Well, he was awful down. He was awful down the field. Okay. But he did complete the one that was ruled an incompletion. Like the Brandon Cooks thing shouldn't be an interception to me, but let's just get to the crying Bills in the locker room because we've got a number of them. Let's start with Josh Allen.

[Fernando Mendoza]

It's extremely difficult. I feel like I, yeah, feel like.

[Dan Le Batard]

I let my, let my teammates down tonight. Now, his teammates took that comment really hard. They felt bad for him. Taking all the blame. Here is Deion Dawkins, his right tackle. Simply that I hate to keep, Keep it short, but we love you. You know, we're thankful for him. He said he feels like he let you guys down.

[Chris Cote]

How do you react when your quarterback.

[Dan Le Batard]

Has done so much for you, says that to you guys?

[Dave Damashek]

Let us down.

[Dan Le Batard]

Oh, man.

[Chris Cote]

Oh, man.

[Dan Le Batard]

And here is Brandon Cooks, who has been with the team all of six weeks. Felt like so heavy on him. I mean, emotional, just coming out to the podium.

[Gavin Matthew]

Yeah.

[Dan Le Batard]

What was it like seeing him like that? You know? You know, I think we all feel that way, you know. You know, you work so hard.

[John]

You.

[Dan Le Batard]

Know, personally, just so thankful to be a part of this. I look back and like, man, what could I have done to be able to alleviate some of that pressure?

[Damek]

I know what I've done from him.

[Dan Le Batard]

You just love this game so much. And when you come up short like this, it's gonna sting for a long time. You know, there's no, you know, next week.

[Damek]

Dan, does somebody want to tell him what he could have done?

[Dan Le Batard]

I think you just did. Mark Sanchez has four road playoff wins. Josh Allen has one. Last week was the first time that Josh Allen had a playoff game winning drive at the end of the game. The last three Bill seasons have ended losing the game by three points and Josh Allen has a chance at the end to win the game and hasn't. Has the ball in his hands and hasn't done what needs to be done so that he creates one of those forever moments.

[Gavin Matthew]

Per Scott Kazmar, it's gonna take Josh Allen at least eight playoff appearances to reach his first Super Bowl. It's never been done before. Anyone who had been to seven playoff appearances had reached the super bowl at least once.

[Fernando Mendoza]

Wow.

[Dan Le Batard]

The things that happened in that game were stunning. And it kept going right until after the game where I can in my memory remember a coach coming to a press conference and announcing something that none of us knew. And he did it because the players had already left and he didn't want them to learn like somewhere else. So he wanted to immediately say it because he. I didn't, I didn't realize that he was that kind of injured. Did you guys realize that Bo Nix was any kind of injured? I know he was limping, but at this time of year, every single person who's playing that sport is limping. So I, I did not that kind of cataclysmic situation where you now you have. You got Stidham starting a game for the Broncos. He started all of four games. And the only reason he started those four games is because the team was wanting to sit Derek Carr and. And who was it? Oh, is Russell Wilson just to save the money is the only reason he hasn't started in 750 days and he's only started four games and now he's got to play the Patriots in a game at home because Bo Nix is injured. And the story of the weekend, indisputably that game last night was great. But the of the weekend is Josh Allen loses. It's not anybody winning. It's not anyone else losing. It's just Josh Allen loses.

[Chris Cote]

I agree with you. It's a shame that the refereeing, which I think is in fact the story of the weekend and the complaining coming off of it. But absolutely you're right. Dan and I have argued with Mina Kimes name drop many, many times about QB wins in the postseason. Not just mattering, but them being everything. And people want to talk their way around it because of small sample sizes and the advanced analytics. But you just saw in the locker room how important these games are. These few moments you get. And the guys involved in it want to talk their way around it because they're incented to. They don't want all that pressure on their shoulders. That it all comes down to the way we regard Josh Allen, not just right now, but in 20 years from now and in 50 years is did he get over the hump and did he win the title? People want to say, you know, Josh Allen is better than blank and all of that. Also I know that what the conversation will be coming out of this one. In fact, today they just fired the head coach as a result of that loss. By the way, let's keep in mind all those tears from the Bills guys. This is after a divisional round game. They didn't even get close to the super bowl and they're weeping like this. Josh Allen, along with Lamar Jackson, Joe Burrow, count them all up. CJ Stroud. The idea that Dan Marino is a one off, the only guy never to get a Lombardi. Marino island is now going to be overrun over the next decade with these high end quarterbacks who may get a gold jacket but ain't going to get no Lombardi.

[Dan Le Batard]

Some of this stuff can be random, right? Drake May has more fumbles than anybody who plays quarterback. But you've got to lose the fumbles and you got to lose the games for people to remember. CJ Stroud just had a disaster playoffs that no one's ever had that many fumbles in the first game. So bad no one's ever had. No quarterback has ever had the last two games in the playoffs that C.J. stroud had where he's got five fumbles in the first game. He's turning the ball over like a lunatic over the weekend.

[Damek]

Seven turnovers in the two playoff games.

[Dan Le Batard]

What? Well, he didn't lose a couple of the fumbles because that was happening. That's happened a lot to Drake May, and it's going to happen to him against Denver because that pass rush is going to get to him. But the thing that happened in the Broncos Bills game, never mind the officiating for a second, okay. Even though pass interference makes me crazy in that sport, all of these teams are trying to get four yards, dying to get four yards, and then every once in a while you just chuck it up and get 45 of them. It's dumb.

[Damek]

Like it's, it's the worst penalty in sports.

[Dan Le Batard]

And then, yeah, put it in the hands of an old guy running next to the play. That's a good idea.

[Damek]

Why does college have it right in.

[Mike Ryan]

The NFL, if you go back to 15, then you have guys that'll just be, oh, it's a 40 yard pass.

[Damek]

I'm just gonna hit it. Okay, whatever. But you're assuming that he's going to catch the ball. And now you just ended that team's season by making it a spot foul. Because you're sure. He would have caught the ball on a call, by the way, which is subjective.

[Gavin Matthew]

Should it be like porn?

[Damek]

I don't want to see it.

[Mike Ryan]

You just judge it. You're like, that one feels like a 20 yarder.

[Dan Le Batard]

There was another pass interference that should have been called on a Brandon Cooks play that wasn't. There is some randomness to the Bills losing that game, but this part's not random because he didn't have the receivers this year on deep passes. Bo Nix was 3 for 4 for 80 plus yards and two touchdowns. Josh Allen was over nine. Like just couldn't do anything down the field against Jacksonville they kept asking him to be Superman and he was. And it was a big ask to ask him to do it again. But he had the ball in overtime. He had the ball towards the end of the game. In moments matter, in the moments that mattered. And he didn't make the plays that you remember. So what you're going to remember for that from that game is him crying in the locker, crying at the press conference afterward because he clearly cares and he's clearly broken. And now he's got the stigma on him of he can't win that one. Like that's on him now. And I don't think that's real based on what I saw yesterday. He made the throw that Brandon Cooks has to make the catch on so they get the field goal and win the game.

[Mike Ryan]

He also missed a couple in regulation. He had Brandon Cooks and he had Kincaid as well. And yes, under threw a guy too. Like I look, I love Josh Allen. He's great.

[Damek]

Why do you love Josh Allen?

[Mike Ryan]

Because he's just. I wish I had him. Like, are you kidding me?

[Dan Le Batard]

Drake May had four fumbles yesterday. Nobody will remember it.

[Chris Cote]

Chris has been seduced as so many have. Like a lot of the talking heads we listen to by the biggest brand names and this, there's a momentum behind Josh Allen and Lamar Jackson and all of these guys. The fact is though that as Jeremy just alluded to with that number about the unlikelihood of Josh Allen ever getting to a Super bowl, now the guy guys who go to the Super Bowl, I can keep pounding the table about this. This is not advanced analytics. This is readily available stuff. If I can tap into it, so can everybody else. The guys who go to the super bowl, the quarterbacks in the QB league who do it in this century are the guys on their first contract who are the real deal. It's why I said Bo Nicks or Drake May was going to the super bowl and one of them will essentially go to the Super Bowl. And I said the teams with the buys are obviously going to listen.

[Dan Le Batard]

I told you so. Listen to all the nails I got. Right on.

[Chris Cote]

That's exactly, yes, that's exactly what I'm doing.

[Dan Le Batard]

We celebrate the things we get wrong around here, not the things we get. Josh Allen, that's, pardon the interruption, 8.

[Gavin Matthew]

And 7 in the postseason, okay? Four of those losses are to Patrick.

[Damek]

Not a Bad record, by the way.

[Gavin Matthew]

No, in. In the postseason, it's. It's pretty solid. You're playing the best teams and you're over. 500 in 15 games.

[Damek]

Respectable record.

[Gavin Matthew]

And this last game, that's the first time in one of those losses where he's thrown multiple interceptions. It's not like he's been this dreadful quarterback, always turning the ball over.

[Damek]

They lose. Like Lamar Jackson be the reason that the Ravens lose in the playoffs. It's. It's. Until yesterday or Saturday, it has not been. Josh Allen is reasonable but says this.

[Dan Le Batard]

Is the way this stuff sticks to you. Okay. In the divisional round, Mahomes is seven and, oh, Josh Allen is two and four. Like that's how that stuff sticks to you. He plays in the air of Mahomes. Mahomes in the divisional round never loses that game. And Josh Allen loses it three quarters of the time.

[Chris Cote]

Best thing that ever happened for Tom Brady was he was largely a passenger on the. On the way to that first Super Bowl. And in fact, Drew. Drew Brudso does something of the heavy lift for him in that postseason, but he has that sting taken off of him before it ever even gets started. By winning that super bowl against the Rams, there is pressure. These guys have a different sense of self, different level of confidence than I'll ever have, and I'll always envy it because of their physical attributes, but they want to talk their way around the fact that these moments have a massive amount of pressure on their shoulders. It is the curse of Sposta. Josh Allen knows he has to get what the curse of Sposta. When you're the guy, when you're the team that's supposed to get it done, there's extra pressure.

[Dan Le Batard]

What is the curse of Sposta? I've not heard that phrase before, and it did sound like it was Curse of Spolstra before we all went. What is that?

[Chris Cote]

Not Spolstra. No. I understand the confusion down there.

[Lucy]

Supposed to.

[Chris Cote]

You're supposed to. When you have the curse of Sposta on you, it adds extra weight on your shoulders.

[Damek]

You know about that?

[Lucy]

Crazy vocabulary. Like a crazy vocab. Are you a word of the day guy?

[Chris Cote]

Minor penalty. Two minutes for tripping the entire show came. A chef tripped the whole show.

[Dan Le Batard]

We didn't know what you were talking.

[Gavin Matthew]

Our penalties are odd.

[Dave Damashek]

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[John]

Happy New Year everybody. 2026 is already getting off to an incredible start. Because you want to know how I rang in the new year? It was with a bunch of friends in a Dallas hotel lobby bar ordering a bunch of Miller Lights. Because that's how you do it. That's how you make special memories. Miller Lite has been by my side at many special football memories this year, and hopefully we get to write a few more memories with Miller Lite. Some of my most legendary moments have started that exact same way. A buddy's house, a lobby bar, a game. No big plan. And then you crack open a Miller Light, you take a sip and you look around and you immediately recognize that you made the right call. Legendary moments start with Miller Lite. Great taste. 96 calories. Go to millerlight.com dan to find delivery options near you. Or you can pick up some Miller Lite pretty much anywhere they sell beer. It's Miller time. Celebrate responsibly. Miller Brewing Co. Milwaukee, Wisconsin 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces.

[Fernando Mendoza]

All right, kicking things off with smearing off the official vodka, sponsor of the NFL and the number one vodka in the world, Chris Cody, you're here.

[Dan Le Batard]

Smirnoff.

[Fernando Mendoza]

Wow, you're on the money with Smirnoff. Chris, you know what goes great with Smirnoff? Yes, but I'm really talking about game day fit. The style's gotta match the vibe. All right, here's the deal. Game day is everything. And that's exactly why your fit has to match the occasion. Starting this December, Smirnoff is giving fans 21 and over the chance to score limited edition Smirnoff commission merchandise from some of today's top creators, including Kayla Jones, Gavin Matthew and Aleli May May smear enough. Here's the kicker. One lucky fan will take home the grand prize, a trip to the biggest game of the off season. Plus one fan will win a Laylee May's one of one game day jacket.

[Dave Damashek]

Wow.

[Fernando Mendoza]

The merch will be dropped on select dates from December to January 21st. And it's all courtesy of what brand? That's right, Chris. Fans 21 and over can head to Smirnoff Socials to learn how to sign up. And don't forget to grab a bottle of Smirnoff vodka number 21 at your local retail. Please drink responsibly. Smirnoff number 21 vodka distilled from grain 40 alcohol by volume. The Smirnoff Company New York, New York York. Please do not share with anybody under legal drinking age. No purchase necessary. Must be legal. US resident, 21 or older sweepstake starts 12152025 at 12:00am Eastern and ends 1232026 at 11:59:59pm Eastern. See official rules at program website.

[Dan Le Batard]

Don LeBatard John Dan, how you love that cat phrase. Bad news for opposing teams in the Triple Air St. All smiles till the Bloods are clutch again, clutch again, clutch again. This is the Dan Levatar show with the Stugats. The things that are random here that are interesting to me on postseason sample sizes. The Bears were the best defense in the league at causing Turnovers this year. 33 turnovers didn't cause one in the postseason. Not one. Caleb Williams 7 times this season he wins a game when trailing at the two minute warning. Not yesterday even. He even though he had one of the most amazing goal to go plays you will ever see in the history of the sport, walking 20 or running 26 yards backwards. I had the misfortune of seeing that play. I'm sorry, of hearing that play on the radio because I was driving, I had to get somewhere and so I had to leave and I didn't get to see the play. And it was Kevin Harlan and Ross Tucker.

[Damek]

Must have been amazing.

[Dan Le Batard]

Well, it was amazing to hear them punctuate the entire play with Ross Tucker just screaming I love football but I like me too. But I didn't. Well no, I didn't totally understand what had happened though, because it didn't make any sense to me that Caleb Williams was at the goal line and then was throwing it from his 45. And so they were trying to describe it, but it was nearly impossible to describe as it was happening because it was happening too fast. And then all of a Sudden, who's in the end zone? Of course, we all had this Cole Comet that. Of course, somehow the ball is thrown perfectly 45 yards. There's a DB there. He's right there and it just goes two yards over his head.

[Damek]

It's unbelievable. He's backpedaling when he throws it. And you know, like there's. Yes, you give Caleb Williams credit for an unbelievable play, but it's not like Comet was open when he threw. It's just like I'm going to toss it to this part of the end zone and hopefully my guy could catch it.

[Gavin Matthew]

The ball went 51 yards in the air. It's a 14 yard touchdown. And he did that while running backwards to the only spot in the end zone where that could happen.

[Damek]

So good, by the way, to the.

[Gavin Matthew]

The tight end that didn't just break all the records for all of those receiving yards they're blocking.

[Dan Le Batard]

That's their tight Cole Comet. So Lucy is in town. Lucy is. This is what makes it a big game. And Lucy has a top five list for us of the top five things she misses about Miami. Like, I think the. The top hundred list of things she doesn't miss about Miami would have a lot of Olis, but the top five things she misses about Miami. Do you have any olives or are we just going to start with number five?

[Lucy]

I have one. Oli. This was a very difficult list to put together. I have to be honest. I did have to. I had to ask Chris for help because I was. I've run out. We had two things on the list. I said, well, that's it. And I know it's a top five.

[Dan Le Batard]

Well, I know you missed this weather. I know you do.

[Lucy]

No, I didn't even put that on the list.

[Dan Le Batard]

I bet you do, though. You gotta miss this weather today.

[Dave Damashek]

It's fine.

[Lucy]

To be honest. Like right now, it's really nice. But the rest of the year, I don't miss it even a little bit. Like, I don't like Oli. Okay.

[Mike Ryan]

All right.

[Lucy]

My Oli. I miss you all. Oli didn't make the top five.

[Gavin Matthew]

I get that though.

[Dan Le Batard]

You struggled to come up with five.

[Gavin Matthew]

Mike's energy.

[Mike Ryan]

Thank you for putting us all in there in just a blanket.

[Lucy]

Number five. I miss how cheap the Ubers are. They're so cheap, so affordable compared to New York. The Ubers here, they're cheap, really nice.

[Gavin Matthew]

That's crazy.

[Lucy]

Okay, number four, the coffee shop over there, it's called Bob Boby Bo.

[Dan Le Batard]

It's good.

[Damek]

It's really good.

[Lucy]

Pistachio matcha latte There can't recommend enough.

[Dan Le Batard]

What's going on with your voice? Have you partied this weekend? What's going on?

[Lucy]

So I went to las Rosas this weekend, Mike's bar, which was so much fun, and a certain co worker of mine that may or may not have been pepper sprayed was chain smoking cigarettes and blew and was blowing the smoke into my face.

[Mike Ryan]

It was jarring to look at Rose just chain smoking.

[Lucy]

And she was. She was blowing it right into my face. And I specifically was like, hey, I have to talk this week. Like, I'm not going to be smoking any cigarettes. I did not. And she was blowing the smoke into my face, and now I have vocal fry.

[Dan Le Batard]

None of us knew that rose was a chainsaw.

[Lucy]

Oh, I actually did know. No, she. She does this.

[Dan Le Batard]

I'm blown away.

[Mike Ryan]

I knew that she might have the occasional when she's having a nice time, but something about Saturday night chain smoking.

[Dan Le Batard]

Yeah.

[Lucy]

And I specifically said, hey, I'm not going to partake because I have to. You know, I have a job to do. You're welcome.

[Dan Le Batard]

Rose caused you to lose your voice?

[Lucy]

No, she blew all the smoke into my face. The light. Someone came up to me at the bar and said, hey, your friend needs to chill. She's blowing their smoke everywhere.

[Dan Le Batard]

Wow. Number three.

[Lucy]

Number three. I miss the murals and the color here.

[Dan Le Batard]

That's a good time to put up Tony on the screen as he's arrived at la casa de los trucos. And you can see behind him, you can see some of the mural and the color back there as he pantomimes chain smoking. We'll get to Tony in a second.

[Lucy]

I think Rose is with him.

[Chris Cote]

Right?

[Lucy]

You need to watch out.

[Dan Le Batard]

Yeah, we need to find out. We need Toni.

[Mike Ryan]

You should get a mask if she's there. Tony, you interview her.

[Dan Le Batard]

Yeah. Tony, we need you to interview Rose on what it is that she was doing chain smoking. We'll get to that in a two. Number three. Number two.

[Lucy]

Number two.

[Chris Cote]

Does Miami have a color scheme?

[Lucy]

It feels like neon and bright, and I love those colors. It's very, like. It's a very. That's. I really genuinely do miss it. It's a lot of pink and blue and green. Yeah, they're bright.

[Chris Cote]

Pink is the color I most associate. New Orleans has green, gold, and purple.

[Lucy]

Yeah. From already growing.

[Chris Cote]

Pittsburgh has black and gold.

[Lucy]

It's all just, like, really beautiful, bright colors. And I really like the that, so.

[Dan Le Batard]

And that's genuine art deco pastels. Number two.

[Lucy]

Number two. Babysitting Mike Ryan's daughter. Love her. She's such a good time. She was pretty much my only friend here, which is kind of why I had to leave. It was part of the problem. But she's delightful. We never hung out.

[Chris Cote]

Yeah, it's true.

[Lucy]

And number one, ready The Cafecito. Depending on the day. Can't do it every day. That last part, the first time I ever had that, when I drove home, I couldn't stop honking. I was honking at everybody and like no one was doing anything wrong. And I was like, why do I keep honking at them? And I was like, I gotta chill out with this.

[Dan Le Batard]

Put it on the poll at Lebatard show. Does the Cafecito make you honk at everyone? You guys know the University of Miami has a Cafecito coordinator, correct?

[Lucy]

Oh, that's cool. Like a full time. That's their, their job.

[Dan Le Batard]

I don't think it's a full time job.

[Lucy]

Is it on LinkedIn?

[Dan Le Batard]

Full time benefits and everything? I don't think it's a full time job given that they just give shots to the players right before the game. But it is. It should be an illegal spot substance. Like it should be something that they test for and that you're not allowed to play football on because if it makes Lucy honk like a crazy person in traffic.

[Mike Ryan]

We can see the, um, defensive line here before a game.

[Dan Le Batard]

It's just uppers. It's why Xavier Lucas got targeting call. It's because he was extra violent from the cafesito. But the Cafecito coordinator is not a full time job.

[Damek]

Yeah, they're taking a shot of the Cuban coffee. And then they are the coverage team on the camera kickoff.

[Chris Cote]

Crimes being committed out in the open. I have to give a shout out to what I miss from Miami. And when I get excited, this is my third visit now. And garlic rolls I get so. No, no, no, I understand that. That's the association people make. Now with me it's the pizza and vice versa in the hotel. When I hear, oh, you're on your way back to Miami, the first thought is I'm going to meet up with my old pack that spicy pizza, vice versa, in the hotel. Ooh, la and la. I already had one. I may have three or four more before I head back.

[Dan Le Batard]

Dave Damaschek will be a part of the livestream tonight. We're gonna go live at about 7:30 and we're gonna watch the game together. We're gonna go to Tony live outside the La Casa de los Trucos. In a moment. Can you look up something for me though? Jeremy? The. The Texans obviously when Schultz goes out yesterday, they're already down Nico Collins and Trent Brown. Trent Brown is 6, 8, 3. Is there a larger human being than that in the NFL? Is there anyone larger than 6, 8, 380 pounds? Because that's part of the reason that the Texans were having all sorts of problems. The Texans defense was great yesterday. Before that Booty catch. He didn't catch it with his Booty, he caught it with his one hand. It's the first one handed catch Booty has had all season. And before that that was the worst offensive performance by EPA that an offense had had in the playoffs since 2000. The Patriots were terrible before that CA catch and that catch was amazing. An all time memory moment for the Patriots. Especially done against Stingley who doesn't allow much of anything. That was a crazy good catch. I don't even understand how he caught that ball given the aerodynamics and the physics of what was happening there.

[Gavin Matthew]

So two things here. Booty has two deep ball catches against Singletary in the last two years. That one and another. Last year there have been two other deep balls caught against Singletary.

[Dan Le Batard]

Stingley, right.

[John]

Stingley.

[Gavin Matthew]

Yeah, sorry. Stingley. That's. That's my fault. That's a fine, I'll then fault. Would it be Stingley in the last.

[Dan Le Batard]

Would it be. Who else's fault would that be? I know I said that already. You don't have to.

[Gavin Matthew]

Desmond Watson is the largest person in the NFL, although he is not active. So Trent Brown at 380 pounds, he's the largest.

[Chris Cote]

How much does Calais Campbell go these days? Not anywhere close to 380. No, I know that, but he's 6, 9.

[Dan Le Batard]

No, but 310 is what I would get. 300 may on him.

[Chris Cote]

Like Max Starks. There was an offensive lineman who was about a 6, 8, you know, 350 type. So that's about it.

[Damek]

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[Gavin Matthew]

Hello listeners. You know that I live in Miami, which means my idea of quote unquote winter is just putting on a hoodie or a cardigan and acting like I've suffered. But every time that I travel somewhere that's actually cold, I'm reminded that my wardrobe is completely and utterly unprepared. But that right there is where Quince comes in. I also realize that if I'm going to be on camera for broadcast giving I probably shouldn't look like I just grabbed whatever was closest to the door. Quince makes clothes that deliver premium materials, thoughtful design and pieces that hold up season after season after season after season. And particularly with quints, their outerwear has been the thing that's especially impressed me. Those down jackets, wool coats, Italian leather and folks, that cashmere sweater, ridiculously soft, looks great and somehow doesn't cost what you'd expect. Trust me, I am the only one on this show show who actually dresses to impress and Quince is what's now helping me do it. Refresh your winter wardrobe with quince. Go to quince.comdan for free shipping on your order. And 365 day returns now available in Canada too. That's Q U I n c e.com dan free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com dan don le jon can you.

[Damek]

Rate my Al Pacino from that billiard scene in Carlito's Way if I do it for you? I think it's pretty good.

[Mike Ryan]

Yeah.

[Fernando Mendoza]

Okay.

[Dan Le Batard]

Stugats.

[Damek]

You think you're big time when you're.

[Dan Le Batard]

Gonna die big time.

[Gavin Matthew]

That is on my infamous scale of 1 to 10.

[Chris Cote]

That's a. That's a 7.6.

[Mike Ryan]

Solid.

[John]

The Suey nominee right there.

[Dan Le Batard]

This is the Dan Levatar show with the St. Gods. Among the things being talked about in the NFL today, McDermott has been fired. What comes in second place to Josh Allen now Dimashek was mentioning the officiating, which I guess we can do that almost any weekend because if the games Are all going to be close, right? If they're all going to be ridiculously close, there are any number of calls at any point in the game. We could do it every single game. We could complain about the subjective thing that was unfair because the game was decided by some sort of old person's judgment. But the call from the weekend that everyone's talking about is that Brandon Cooks. It felt like he caught that ball. And you have rarely seen an interception that way. Correct. You have the catch, you think it's a catch, but you know that by the letter of the law, you have to complete the catch. That's a rule. Like that would have been a catch seven years ago. Seven years ago. There's not the complete. The catch stuff and all this stuff that confused us about. We've been saying for years, yeah, I don't know what a catch is now. I don't know what an interception is because that in my lifetime has never been an interception.

[Damek]

Why didn't they review it?

[Dan Le Batard]

I mean, the rule is the rule. They got it right by the letter of the rule. To me though, there's no point in having judges if all they're gonna do is go by the letter of the rule.

[Chris Cote]

That's what. People are vexed by those as it was the lack of stopping down. We're so conditioned to the process, having further review in New York, weighing in and all the rest of it. But ultimately, Dan's right. I don't understand these people. First of all, people talking into microphones on purpose and sharing stills of, look at this spot. He has the ball. Well, that's irrelevant. It's. It's a rolling play. And as the rule is stated, whether you like it or not, he has to complete the catch to the ground. And so by definition, if the ball jostles as he collides with the ground, which it did, the ball is live.

[Damek]

And so did it jostle me? I couldn't tell.

[Fernando Mendoza]

I think.

[Mike Ryan]

I don't think you could tell either way. It was just like.

[Damek]

That's why I wanted some kind of review.

[Chris Cote]

I get the desire just based on how we, like I say, have been conditioned over the last several years to see further review. But I do think they ultimately got that right. The ball is live as the DB rolls over and comes up with the ball. Yeah, it is. It is home teams ball.

[Dan Le Batard]

The call was right. You can't overturn it after it's been called an interception either. Barnwell and Dominique have both talked about this. They've got. They got the call right but it still feels wrong. Like, that. That's what happened there. And then. Don't think it's because people are rooting for Josh Allen. I don't think it's because the Bills are crying in the locker room. I just think that over the course of your lifetime, you are not used to two people landing on the floor with the ball and then the defensive guy gets up with it, and it's not the offensive guy's possession. Like, over the course of history, watching football, if you're doing it in your backyard, anybody's been playing football, once you land on the ground with the ball, they can't take it away from you. Like, that's. That's the part that is a bit baffling that the rulemakers have it right when they say the rule was followed. Just. But you'll never be able to convince Bill's fans of that. And you won't be able to convince me of it either, because I really don't. We don't have judges just to enforce rules. We have them to interpret them.

[Chris Cote]

Agree. But the bottom line is, Dan, you think that should have been Bill's ball?

[Dan Le Batard]

Um, I do. I do think that that should have been a catch where it landed. And it can't be an interception. You can't have the season decided that way. And in fact, I don't think if it had gone the other way, I.

[Chris Cote]

Don'T think that would have decided the season against the Broncos.

[Dan Le Batard]

I know, but I don't think if gone the other way, I think the outrage would be less from Bronco fans and America if it had been called a catch and not an interception. I think Broncos fans wouldn't be talking today the way Bill's fans are if it had simply been a catch, I think it would have been less controversial the other way.

[Damek]

Absolutely.

[Dan Le Batard]

How does that make sense? Who does that make sense to? How does it make sense to anybody listening to this that if I had ruled that a catch, Broncos fans would be less upset than Bill's fans are, too, today?

[Chris Cote]

Well, that is a fascinating point that I hadn't really considered that if you do it the other. But now you're depending upon the official in that moment to just reverse the call. I also think the thing that people are vexed by largely, and there's no way around it, is obviously, is that the officials are gonna play a role in this. And you can go back several minutes prior, it looks like there's a hold in the end zone that would have also ended the game, too. And if to Your point, Dan? If the Bills win the game on that deep ball to Cooks, they kick the field goal, they move on. Now, the Broncos fans would have spent the last two days belly aching about that. That's a safety, and they didn't call it because they didn't have the balls to call it and end the playoff game on a safety, on an offensive holding.

[Damek]

True. I mean, I remember watching it live on that play and thinking to myself, that looks like a hold. And the only way they're going to call that, to have the game end on a safety, someone is going to have to get murdered in the end zone.

[Dan Le Batard]

Not even then. The officials would absolutely not rule it murder. And there would be a dead person on the field in the end zone, and the officials would not make a ruling there. Is that Tony's music I hear? Is that what's happening right there? All right, that is Tony's music. He is. He is at La Casa de los Trucos. He already told us what La Casa A Little Trucos is. It is the most famous and longest standing costume shop in South Florida history. Is it open? I was told that it is opening at 10am today for you, but you're standing outside.

[Fernando Mendoza]

Yeah, Dano, it is open. It is 10:10 right now on the east coast and finishing my cafecon leche. We have a couple patrons already walked in. We've. We've gone before and we've done the advanced scouting and we are able to go inside. I was just waiting on you to let me let you know if. If you wanted me to do my top five out here or no in there.

[Dan Le Batard]

I want your top five. I want your top five inside. But I would like you to interview Rose real quick about her chain smoking and the fact.

[Mike Ryan]

That's great.

[Fernando Mendoza]

That's incredible. Rose is in here, so that's that.

[Mike Ryan]

I love that.

[Fernando Mendoza]

Last week would have been great for that. She's not here, though. So I've got Danny B. And I've got Sean McGill if you want to interview them as well.

[Dan Le Batard]

We'll get Rose here. Damek, would you do me the favor of just going to get Rose and putting her next to Lucy and all of her cigarette smells so that I could get to the bottom of that. But yes, I'd prefer the top five from inside La Casa de los Trucos. Should we wait for you or do you just want to go in there? You want us to interview Rose and filibuster while you're going in there, or do you just want to take the show from here.

[Fernando Mendoza]

Yeah, let's do that. No, no, let's do that for a second. Just you guys, so I can make sure everything's cool in there and then get things rolling. So come back to us in about two minutes.

[Dan Le Batard]

All right? Rose, you seem to have knocked over a tree while you were in there. You were a bit of a smoking disaster. You've gotten our employees sick. You cannot generally be trusted to not blow smoke in the face of others. We all learned together, except for Lucy, that you are a chain smoker. Rose, why did you get Lucy sick? Were you partying too much? Does this happen when you have too many drinks?

[Rose]

Yes, I can carry with my. With my hands at times that I smoke. So Mali was here and he's about influence, Brooklyn. So it was not just my fault. Sorry, Mali.

[Gavin Matthew]

Mali's a bad influence.

[Dan Le Batard]

Was here.

[Gavin Matthew]

Mike Malley.

[Mike Ryan]

And I want the record stated. She said she can count on one hand the amount of time. Like she doesn't do this a lot. That's not a chain smoker all the time. But every once in a while.

[Rose]

No, I don't. I just. I just smoke when I have. When I'm partying. Yes.

[Gavin Matthew]

Yeah.

[Dan Le Batard]

How many heaters did you rip because you were accused of chain smoking and. And the bar establishment was saying, please get a control of your over under 15 blowing smoke in everyone's face. Lucy said you embarrassed her.

[Rose]

I don't know. I did not count them. It was a good amount.

[Dan Le Batard]

And how many drinks do you have before the chain smoking starts?

[Rose]

I don't know. I'm.

[Dan Le Batard]

She produces the hockey show. She is Rose. And she's going to have to leave now because she can't answer. I don't know. The questions only she knows the answer to.

[Rose]

No, because I don't know. Well, okay, two, two and a half.

[Gavin Matthew]

That's what happens on one of those nights. You don't know how many drinks you had let her off the hook.

[Rose]

Two and a half. So, yeah, that was me. And then I got everybody blaming me that it was my fault for other days just because Lucy said that it was my fault. So I have the entire office saying it's my fault.

[Lucy]

Okay, you did blow the smoke into my face.

[Mike Ryan]

You also left at one point to get a new pack of cigarettes.

[Lucy]

Yes, that did also happen.

[Dan Le Batard]

You went and bought. Wait a minute. That area doesn't. You were at Las Rosas, that area. How far did you go? That area doesn't like you gotta walk aways in order to find cigarettes over there.

[Rose]

I was friends with the guy Outside, I'm like, hey, remember my face. I'm just gonna go somewhere in there. It was very close. I went there and this lady was very happy to see me and gave me my cigarettes.

[Dan Le Batard]

Thank you, Rose.

[Lucy]

This was a rare occasion. Rose is very well behaved. She just happened to the only week I really have to talk a lot. Make me lose my voice.

[Rose]

Thank you very much. Bye bye.

[Dan Le Batard]

Okay, see you later. In fact, let me just punish you.

[Chris Cote]

Minor penalty, two minutes for adding nothing. Wow.

[Dan Le Batard]

Zaslow, what are you looking for? Forward to tonight. Because I don't see a circumstance under which it's not interesting. It might be low scoring and it might be dull to some people because there's going to be a lot of smash mouth involved. Not going to be high tempo offenses. I don't think Mendoza is going to be able to do the things that he normally does.

[Damek]

I'm looking forward to the moment. Like it's, it's why, it's why we love sports. And the Canes fan got one of those moments in the last game with Carson Beck running into the end zone.

[Dan Le Batard]

They got one against Ohio State too with Scott and the pick six.

[Damek]

And I want to feel it again. I want to feel it again. It's why we love sports. So I'm just excited for the potential of having another moment tonight in what could be a forever night. It really is. It's. This is what I think I'm under. I don't think I'm overstating this. I had to think of understate, overstate. I don't think I'm overstating this, Dan. This is one of the biggest nights in the history of South Florida when it comes to sports because not only is it the Hurricanes. The Hurricanes mean a lot to this city, but it's. It's at home for the national championship and it's as an underdog, a significant underdog. This has potential to be one of the greatest nights of.

[Mike Ryan]

Of.

[Damek]

Of our lives as a sports fan down here. So I'm.

[Dan Le Batard]

It's going to. It's going to be for somebody, either Miami or Indiana.

[Chris Cote]

This will be. You guys cannot. I just have to keep saying it, not to be a crazy curmudgeon. You know, right now in your hearts and your guts, which side you're rooting for, I do not want to hear at the end of the night, hey, Cuban hero, prodigal son. Fernando. Got one.

[Mike Ryan]

You're still gonna do that tomorrow, my guy?

[Chris Cote]

Not. Not acceptable. You're not. Your heart and gut will disagree with your. With what your brain tells you at the end of the game. And if that's what your mouth is saying, shame the devil. I'm with you, Zaz. And I think it's vaguely a shame, I have to say sincere, clearly, that the story of the U. That the national championship game happens to be in their home stadium and it's kind of playing as an afterthought. I do think that that could provide a little chip on the shoulder, as guys like to have before a big game. That might be a little extra juice. No one is talking about us. And I can't help Dan to hearken back to 43 years ago. The greatest college football game of all time was when Kosar Schnellenberger and the U vanquished the red and white team, team number one with the Heisman trophy winner.

[Dan Le Batard]

There's no other way to cut him off.

[Fernando Mendoza]

A lot of yammers. A lot of. A lot of yammers there between Zazzle and between Damek.

[Dave Damashek]

Damn.

[Fernando Mendoza]

I did want to bring this to your attention. Do you want me to get you this netted shirt for you to wear on this on the show tonight? Please. Is that something you'd be interested in?

[Dan Le Batard]

1999. Sounds like my price right there. There.

[Chris Cote]

Yeah.

[Fernando Mendoza]

1899.

[Dan Le Batard]

I can.

[Fernando Mendoza]

I can probably get him to lower.

[Gavin Matthew]

It a little bit.

[Dan Le Batard]

Oh, really?

[Fernando Mendoza]

I just tell her I'm Fernando Mendoza. Yeah, I'll tell her I'm Fernando Mendoza.

[Chris Cote]

I thought you were saying you used to dress like that in 1999, which would be a revelation.

[Damek]

Dan, Last time you fit into that shirt.

[Dan Le Batard]

Give us your top five. Don't fat shame me, Zaslo. Do not do it. You're not looking. You're not looking so good in that soda drinker's body in that Luther Campbell game over there. And people are commenting on how you looked in that undershirt and why are there a.

[Damek]

Last week, Jeremy fed me that line.

[Dave Damashek]

Ooh.

[Dan Le Batard]

Oh, wow. He was not accountable at all.

[Dave Damashek]

Under the bus, Tony. What the hell is that?

[Dan Le Batard]

Tony, hold on a second. Hold on. Because I'm up against the break here where. Turn down his music. It's just something that we did for a second to shut up damage. We'll come back to you. We'll lead. We'll lead the next segment so you have enough room. I want to get your football top five. I want to get.

[Fernando Mendoza]

Thank you.

[Dan Le Batard]

I don't want to give you 50 seconds in order to. To do what it is that you do. So we will come back in a second to you.

[Chris Cote]

Thank you.

[Mike Ryan]

Rose has located some cigarettes apparently.

[Dan Le Batard]

Yeah, she evidently has. That's good to see. I'm glad that she is again chain smoking. So real quick here though. I did love last night. My favorite part of the late game was Tony Dungy just screaming at anyone who will listen. Forget the analytics, kick the field goals. Somebody kick the field goals. Stop going for it on 4th and short. It was like watching a dinosaur become extinct on Sunday Night Football in America.

[John]

Happy new year everybody. 2026 is already getting off to an incredible start because you want to know how I rang in the new year? It was with a bunch of friends in a Dallas hotel lobby bar ordering a bunch of Miller Lights. Because that's how you do it. That's how you make special memories. Miller Light has been by my side at many special football memories this year, and hopefully we get to write a few more memories with Miller Lite. Some of my most legendary moments have started that exact same way. A buddy's house, a lobby bar, a game. No big plan. And then you crack open a Miller Lite, you take a sip and look around and you immediately recognize that you made the right call. Legendary moments start with Miller Lite. Great taste. 96 calories. Go to millerlight.com dan to find delivery options near you. Or you can pick up some Miller Lite pretty much anywhere they sell beer. It's Miller time. Celebrate responsibly. Miller Brewing Co. Milwaukee, Wisconsin 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces.